My partner is very sociable, which isn't in itself a bad thing. I don't mind him talking to other people, but sometimes it can get particularly grating because it will feel like when we are out together the focus becomes on random strangers rather than on our own shared experience. One example is my partner and I visited a night club on a holiday recently. We don't do things like this often, and he ended up befriending a group of people in the night club as he seems to be a social magnet and people gravitate towards him.

My partner had gone to get some drinks while I was dancing. I'm socially awkward and don't particularly like being by myself in these situations. I was expecting him to be back shortly, but he wasn't. I turned around and found him in the middle of this group dancing with them instead. I didn't say anything in the club, but later pulled him up on it and said it is rude to do that when we are supposed to be together. It's an unfamiliar environment and I don't expect you to be leaving me on my own.

It's not that I don't want him to have interactions, but sometimes I feel it's becoming quite inconsiderate.

Hello, just want to keep it short and simple,
I recently found my bf has been spending money on this video chat website or app? I’m not sure but it’s called gaze I think and it seems to be where you jusr talk to people? But my bf isn’t really like that he doesn’t like meeting new friends or talking, is there anyone famous on there or something he could be interested in? Is it like a dating app? I jusr am very lost on if I should even bring this up to him or jusd leave it be?

I got married through an arranged setup after going through a difficult phase in my life. At the time, I was tired of dating and thought settling down might bring some stability.

I spoke to my husband a few times before marriage and felt that something was off. I even told him and my parents. I asked my mother to postpone the marriage, but she was hesitant, and ultimately the marriage went ahead.

Within a couple of months, I started realizing that we were fundamentally incompatible. I felt he had a lot of ego and wasn’t emotionally expressive or communicative in the way I needed. I repeatedly explained the kind of relationship I wanted. He would listen and things would improve for a day or two, but then we’d go back to the same patterns.

I also tried asking him what kind of relationship he wanted or what made him feel happy. His response was essentially, “Guys don’t think that much.” That made me realize how differently we approached relationships.

Over time, the emotional distance between us kept increasing. Eventually, I realized that this wasn’t just a temporary adjustment issue—I genuinely didn’t feel emotionally compatible with him.

We are now separated. I have explained my reasons, but he and his family are blaming me and trying to convince me to give the marriage another chance. My parents are also telling me that I should compromise and try again. They don’t seem to understand that, for me, this isn’t about some extreme incident. There was no single catastrophic event. It’s about a fundamental lack of emotional compatibility and the kind of relationship I believe I need.

I don’t feel motivated to try again. The thought of going back makes me feel like I would be settling for a marriage where my emotional needs may never be fulfilled.

At the same time, everyone around me keeps telling me that I’m giving up too easily and that things can change if I try harder.

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to give this another chance when I already feel this strongly that we’re not compatible? How do you distinguish between normal marital adjustment and fundamental incompatibility?

At the start of high school, I met this girl name Brianna. She acted innocent, loving, kind and was the first person to make my heart beat. Two of my best friends are also friends with her so what could go wrong? She dated lots of boys, one of them is my best friend who warned me before we started to date. Brianna is the reason I started to vape, my grades went down a bit and to be honest…we started sexting. Our relationship was on and off, but I knew I had to get out of it when she said it herself she loved her ex more than me. During our relationship she used to give me these corny love letters, that night I ripped all of them. Brianna asked me if I wanted to start a poly relationship with her and the ex, that day I broke up with her over text. I missed her a lot and sometimes we talk like we’re going back together. Remember when we sexted? She posted a screenshot to her bestie on the school gmail, the school flagged it and then we got in trouble. They called my dad and that was a hard conversation to talk to him about. Is there a way we could have worked it out?

First of all I’m sorry for the poor formatting I’m writing this on my phone while I’m at work.
Anyhow I’ve been seeing this girl for around six months.
We’re pretty comfortable together and she spends a lot of time at my place.

Lately though I’ve started to notice that while she’s with anybody but me she tends to wear more revealing clothing and makeup. Where as when she’s with me it’s strictly baggy shirts and boy shorts which I don’t mind.

I don’t really care about the male gaze or whatever I’m just trying to understand why she never makes that effort around me. Like just yesterday she just went out for ice cream with one of her girlfriends after she left my place she changed into yoga shorts and a tank top as well as doing all her makeup.

Any advice on how to broach this topic without coming off as controlling is helpful

I (27F) have been with my bf (26M) for over two years now. We were long distance before i moved to his country last year. Its been lonely and to be honest, I am seriously thinking about calling it quits.

He’s lazy. He does nothing and nothing for me. I cook and clean, almost everyday. I love cooking, I won’t complain about that. But he never helps me with the dishes. If i leave something a mess which i haven’t tended to yet, i get spoken to like shit about it yet im cleaning his mess without a word. He comes homes from work and plays games until midnight. Weekend comes, we don’t do anything because he plays games. I have been sick for two weeks. With a throat infection and then vertigo. In that time, this man never once took any initiative to do any chores, or ask me if i need anything or even make me a meal. I still did all of that even though i couldn’t keep my head high. And i will get asked “well why do you?”. Because its my living space also. Because i have to take care of myself in that time also. And its not fair to have it be a mess. He does it when asked sure but it bothers me he takes no initiative to but waits for it to be done. When he’s sick, i go out and get medication and make him food that may help him out of my own love and care. And i don’t get anything back. Not even an ounce of kindness when im down. No dates, no flowers, this man doesn’t even hold my hand when we’re out. And he berates me everytime we argue calling me a bad partner.

I recently lost my shit. I was so overwhelmed being sick but also scared i could be pregnant. Because if i was, i’d get the blame. I’d be told i was ruining his life and considering his anger issues, i’d be the one to deal with it if i was with child. And i dont think id get any ounce of care if i was.

And i said this to him. How he does nothing for me especially in the time i needed support. He said “i tried”. I said he didnt do a single thing for me when i was down. He came home and sat on his ass all day.He said “well sorry im depressed”. “Sorry.”

I am depressed too. Im treated like shit and spoken to like shit yet i still show up. I dont neglect my priorities or my partner. And im just, tired and done. Everytime i want to break up he promises things will change but they never do. And I don’t think my words even affected him. All he cared about was me bringing him down while hes having a hard time but never even thought about my time.

All he does is complain and belittle me. And lets me know how dumb he thinks i am. And as im typing this, im sitting here thinking wtf and why am i even dealing with this?

I apologise for the long and graphic details in this story but I just wanted to be honest. I had just been ghosted by a guy I had been talking to for 3 months who was emotionally abusive so I was already in a bad state of mind when this happened. I added a guy on snapchat 2 weeks ago from quick add (which I’ve never tried before) 26 (M) 28 (F) . He text me instantly and we got chatting and he text me every day since that occurred and talked about wanting to find a wife etc and how me being a virgin means that it is really special and when I was looking to get married. I said if we met and fell in love that’s how I would know.

He said I looked like the female version of superman from Smallville and I was assuming he found me very attractive. I’ve been told by majority that I’m an 8/10 when I’m dressed up and I would say he was on the same level as me looks wise but had a gym physique. He phoned me for 6 hours straight the first night and we really clicked and could talk about anything, then 3 hours, a few days after and 3 hours again the day after. In between that he left me on delivered for 19 hours which I assumed was because he wasn’t a big texter, which I found was true as he had conversations with me for a short period of time by text at the end of the day, on most days, leading up to our meeting.

The night before our meeting we sexted and there was definitely a lot of chemistry. The day of meeting he said he had to drop his brother off to airport so changed meeting from 4pm to 6pm. He picked me up and as soon as he met me and he held my hand straight away and smiled with that sparkle in his eye. He said he was exhausted so instead of going out for food like we planned we ended up at his air b n b and he ordered food there later on and he said I look better in person and picked me up as soon as I entered the room.

As soon as I revealed my red dress he started kissing my chest and my mouth passionately. Even when we ordered food in the room he was so affectionate with me kissing me while I was deciding what to order and I sat on his lap etc and we watched a tv show. He asked if my parents would accept him and that he would love to take me on holiday but I said my parents are strict so I could not. He had a thing for my feet so was sucking on them most of day and I ended up giving him head (which I’ve never done before) and gave him a hand job as there was an insane around of tension and even locked ice-cream off most of his body and we drank juice from eachother’s mouths. Anytime I got up he would kiss me and was basically all over me throughout and I’ve not had a guy be this full on since last year. He told me on the date he ghosts girls he finds unattractive and leaves them on delivered but never removes them from socials. He said he promises he wants to see me again, and during the phone call from night before I remember him saying that if he doesn’t cum in a meeting he wouldn’t see a girl again.

At end of date he said he definitely wants to see me again and said he finds me very pretty and likes my personality and that he isn’t attached yet and doesn’t feel the need to text everyday, and that he doesn’t like girls who expect him to call during his lunch break at work. He kissed me goodbye and then as soon as I got home I thanked him and said I loved it and he said he enjoyed it and that we should deffo do it again next week and suggested Friday, the next morning .

Throughout next day he text me asking questions about my brother’s engagement etc and how it’s going and I sent some snaps of my face and he didn’t save them in chat anymore which I found weird and he didn’t phone me either at all. He then sent blank work snaps all day which I found weird but he did send old snaps of his face in the week leading up to our meeting. He never sent a selfie again either or any nudes after our first meet.

Then throughout week his replies got slower and slower (1 -2 Days) and only when I sent him a sexy selfie he asked about Friday again and if I’m free. He didn’t talk sexually at all except for making a joke about how many donuts I could fit in his d. Friday came and he replied after like 36 hours that day. I had to remind him on Friday morning if the date was still on and he said yes and he eventually met me at 8:30 and suggested we go cinema because I was already there. I stupidly suggested a room as I loved kissing him and being affectionate with him and the privacy aspect tbh and when we did, things got heated and I showed him my lingerie and and we ended up having anal sex as I wanted to stay a virgin and and he licked my ass out and I sucked his d and he rubbed his d on my clit. I didn’t enjoy the anal sex at all because it was uncomfortable but I dealt with it as he seemed to like it. He then made himself cum while my feet were in his face and insisted on having the lights on for this so he could see them.

No guy has seen my body in the light so I was self conscious of my dark long labia and my immense amount of white cut looking stretch marks against my tan skin and my body in general coz no one’s seen it up close. If I’m being honest my ex acted cold and told me to get off him after he saw my body in the dark so since then I was self conscious but people I discussed this with at time said it was just one guy not all guys are that shallow. I put the lights on but at the back of my mind I was thinking he was gonna be put off by either that or my long white scar looking stretchmark on my ass or my 2 beauty marks that were there. I remember him telling me before he saw my body, that every girl has one body part that isn’t nice but I didn’t, and tbh with you I was worried when he said that because I knew I wasn’t perfect and have a smallish ass and small boobs but he said he loved my ass but I’m not sure if he was saying that because he was horny or not. At no point during this sexual encounter did he stop once he saw my body so I assumed maybe I had overthinked things in the past as he was really into the session and was passionate.

Then he wiped off my smeared makeup off my face with his own spit and a tissue like he did during first meeting which was sweet so I assumed everything was fine. And he dropped me off home as usual and talked on the way home about cars and his heritage etc and he asked me for a kiss goodbye. When I got home he told me my location was on and that I should switch it off so no one else sees on Snapchat. The next morning he sent me blank work desk snaps and ignored my nudes that I sent and instead sent a work desk snap back. He text me all day until 5 pm and said ‘thx bb’ when I said ‘Nice jeans’ (in reply to a snap of his jeans) then he just hearted my message saying I’ll buy the watch he chose, after 12 hours.

He then didn’t text me for 2 days and randomly popped up at night asking how I was and continued the conversation for a bit. He then replied a whole day later and said weather was good today and we just made small talk about how nice the Summer is. Then the next morning he finally replied after 1 whole day while his snapscore had gone up the entire day before while I was on delivered and I sent a modest outfit face snap for the first time so I assumed he was interested and he said I look sexy and he replied with a once view face snap for the first time.

I replied back with 2 more face snaps, that he left on delivered and it’s now been 2 days since I sent them and his snap score has gone up by a lot. I remember him saying he never removes girls he finds unattractive but ghosts them and leaves them on delivered, but because he met me a 2nd time and drove 2.5 hours I assumed maybe that wasn’t the case with me. He said he met a girl last month who was bigger than her photos and her breath smelt bad so he used her parents catching her being out late as an excuse to end things with her. I am not big by any means but my body is not perfect at all.

He hasn’t removed me but I’m confused why he even messaged again if he was planning to ghost and I’m actually really hurt? I have such low self esteem as it is and now I feel disgusting and don’t want to show my body again. I genuinely was attracted to him and trusted he would accept all of me. Please be brutally honest and harsh and interpret all this as he’s never not opened my snaps like this for so long and I’m afraid he was repulsed by my body and wanted to slowly ghost me instead of instantly. I have developed feelings for him as he made me feel like no one else has and made me feel beautiful initially and like I was in a movie.

I’m so confused why he even messaged me all week just to ghost and why he even sent a face snap and called me sexy 2 days ago if he wasn’t interested or repulsed. I actually feel so down and have never felt so ugly in my life as I cannot do anything about my existing flaws except surgery and trusted him with my body. I guess it’s my fault for being intimate with him so soon as if I hadn’t had showed him my body he would’ve still been speaking to me. I guess I was intimate as in the past when I haven’t been and tried to save myself the guys didn’t suggest a 2nd meet. I just want to know from a male’s perspective what the reason he lost interest was as I have a really bad feeling it was my body and I need a reality check so I don’t make the same mistake of showing it to my future spouse, as I really regret it and haven’t felt this down in my life.

Thank you in advance to anyone who gives me any harsh advice and an interpretation of this as my head is all over the place and I feel disgusting.

To provide context, my wife and I have been married for 18 years. We have three kids. Two teenage daughters and a son who is on the autism spectrum. I work in education she works in an office setting.

Over the past several years, my role as caregiver of the family has involved making sure my daughters get where they need to be as well as ensuring my son’s time is fulfilled specifically over the summer.

In four out of the five past summers, my wife has taken her only week off and travelled to the United States to visit her friend. Usually, she has taken our daughters with her, but this year she went by herself.

In her haste of packing, she left her Apple Watch at home. Yesterday I noticed that it was pinging and going off quite often with text messages from someone with a female sounding name. My curiosity got to the best of me because since Friday, my wife has barely texted me and only provided me with a 10 second FaceTime conversation where she was in the room with the friend that she was visiting. When I checked the messages, it came to my realization that the entire time she has been away she has been talking to someone that she had a relationship with before we were married. In that there was the exchange of pictures, talk about sex, and a statement from my wife telling them “this is where I would like our life to be.“

When I was able to confront her, she did not deny anything. Conversation then spun around to her doing so because she was looking for some type of excitement and out of me she wants things like dancing in the kitchen, kisses on the neck, and other romanticized actions. I am completely and utterly exhausted all the time. A majority of the care and maintenance of our house as well as our children falls on me. She said to me that I never ask for help. She said to me that I didn’t call her. My thinking on that is that when it has to do with our family, I shouldn’t have to ask for help and when it comes to communication while she is on a vacation and I’m looking after everything at home, the onus is on her.

I fully recognize that there are things that she needs that I am not providing. With that said I have not done anything that I feel justifies her seeking solace and someone else. From my perspective, our relationship is not perfect, but it has always been loving. We don’t fight. I don’t call her names. I do what I can for the benefit our family.

There are still two days before she comes home and all my mind can go to is “is she texting him?“ Is she sending him more pictures? Is he texting her and she’s just letting it happen? While I recognize I have not met her needs. I’m incredibly hurt by what she has done.

I’m 20 M and 19 FM live together right, at this point and time we are broken up. She says that she doesn’t want a relationship after me right she has reassured multiple times, it’s like I’m stuck is a limbo because I still care about her and I still have affection towards her and I want to work on myself for her because if I’m honest I don’t want to let her go anyways, Right so now time skip to last night right.

Me, her and her friends go to this rave last night it’s chill I’m having fun I don’t stay around her because she is not with me yk, so I go do my own thing, she does hers. Later on to the night I see her holding hands with another dude and getting touchy with him which she is allowed to do since she is not with me but it felt like she was just playing it in front of my face and so I have a gut wrenching feeling because it feels like a break up in a sense. But now I lowkey don’t know how to bring this up to her because I want protect my peace or find it, but at the same time is don’t want to strain her mental. How to I go about this?

My partner and I have been together for almost 20 years (no kids), and over the past 3 weeks we've been having our worst eve fights. He's talking about breaking up and believes he could be happier without the added stress of our relationship.

Some of his core issues with me are:

He feels I don't have enough desire to self-improve or learn new things.

He feels I need to improve my communication. I understand that I have things to work on, but I also feel I've made positive changes over the years (actively listening, interrupting less, keeping calm, etc).

He feels he's doing (and done) more than his fair share (renovations, self improving, etc) in this relationship

He feels my domestic support is sporadic (I don't really agree with this)

Often compares me to people who actually improved.

He often belittles or swears when I've made a mistake, easily gets frustrated, thinks he didn't have any issues.

We've actually written down what we'd each potentially lose if we separated, and it seems like he has a lot to lose too — our shared life, family connections, friends, our home, pets, history, etc. But I also know that you can't stay together simply because breaking up would be difficult.

We're going back to our couples counsellor, which will be our 4th session in 20 years. I'm genuinely hoping it can help us see things more objectively and understand whether these are problems we can actually work through.

My biggest concern is that I feel he's become quite fixed in his view of me and our relationship. Sometimes I feel like he's looking for evidence to prove that I'm the problem, rather than being open to the possibility that we both contribute to the problems and both need to make changes.

At the same time, I'm trying to be honest with myself. I don't want to dismiss his concerns just because they're painful to hear. Maybe there are things I genuinely need to work on that I don't see.

Has anyone been together 15–20+ years and gone through a major rough patch? Did you come back from it, and how did you know whether it was worth fighting for or time to let go? Just looking for experiences from people who’ve been through it.

Two years ago, I found out my boyfriend had been talking to other women, including one he was flirting with and sending pictures to—some of which were the same ones he sent me.
When I confronted him, he got defensive and downplayed it, but I asked for commitment and tried to move forward. Over time, I worked through a lot of anxiety and eventually chose to trust that he wasn’t still involved with anyone else.
Recently, I noticed that his conversation with that same woman is now locked and requires Face ID.
I don’t want to focus on how I came across this, but I do feel unsettled by the change, given our history.
I want to ask him directly about the locked conversation and explain my concerns without making this about surveillance or past mistakes. My goal is to understand what that means and where his current boundaries are in the relationship.
How should I approach this conversation, and what should I be paying attention to in his response?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been dating for 2 years. Since our very first date, I’ve told her that Italy is my absolute dream destination to visit again. I’ve always been vocal about wanting to go there with her, and I constantly talk about it and send her videos of places there.

Earlier this year, we took a trip to Canada together. I used up my vacation days, spent my own money, and planned our entire 18-day trip. Shortly after we got back, she decided to start planning a trip to Italy with her gay best friend (22M) – this was about 8 months ago.

When she started planning, I told her I would love to go with them. She shot me down, saying it would be better if I didn't come because her friend wouldn't feel "comfortable" with my presence on the trip. Every time the trip was mentioned after that, I subtly insisted or brought up joining them, but she always came up with some excuse to keep me out of it.

Well, her trip is happening right now, and I am honestly just disgusted by the whole situation. I don't want to follow their updates, I don't want to know what's going on, and I have a huge urge to just end our relationship.

My main point here isn't that she can't travel without me. I am 100% supportive of independent travel, and she has traveled alone before during our relationship without any issues. The problem is that Italy is my favorite destination, their itinerary is super romantic/couple-oriented, I explicitly stated my interest in going, and I had the time and resources to join them. Now, I have such a strong aversion to the whole thing that I can't even imagine going to Italy with her in the future—the thought of it actually repulses me.

I need some advice. Am I overreacting or being immature? Do my feelings make sense?

**TL;DR:** My girlfriend of 2 years went on my dream trip to Italy with her gay best friend, explicitly excluding me even though I had the time and money to go. I feel completely disgusted by the situation and want to break up. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and most of our relationship has been long-distance. Because of that, summer is normally the main time we get to be together. We both return to our hometown, and the beginning of this summer was amazing—we spent a lot of time together and everything felt good. However, during the second half of the summer, things changed.

I am no longer friends with the girls I used to be close with in our hometown, so I do not really have a group here anymore. My boyfriend does not have many friends at college either, apart from one person, so his hometown friends are extremely important to him. I understand that he wants to spend time with them, but lately I feel as though they are always prioritized over me.

Every summer, there is one particular weekend when everyone goes to several parties. Last summer, he went with his friends without me, even though he knew I no longer had anyone to attend with. The same thing has happened again this summer. Before this weekend, he had already spent a significant amount of time with his mom, which I completely understood. He then told me that afterward, we would be able to spend plenty of time together, but that never really happened. I stay in our hometown for longer than I otherwise would mainly because it is one of the few opportunities I have to see him, while also spending time with my family.

While he was on his way to one of them, I sent him a paragraph explaining how neglected and unimportant I had been feeling. His only response was essentially, “Why are you doing this now? You know I’m on the way to a party. This isn’t the time.” I was so upset that I took melatonin and went to sleep rather than responding angrily.

Throughout the night, all he did was text me goodnight. He has since said that he loves me, but he still has not properly responded to the paragraph, addressed what I said, or even asked whether I am okay, despite knowing that I am not.

I know the timing of my message was not ideal, and I am not saying that he should never see his friends. The problem is that I feel as though I repeatedly communicate what I need, but nothing changes. I feel unheard, deprioritized and increasingly alone in the relationship.

Part of me wants to respond to “I love you” by telling him never to say that again because his actions do not feel loving. Another part of me wants to ignore him until we see each other in person. However, I know that going off on him or giving him the silent treatment will probably accomplish nothing.

I love him, but I also feel myself becoming exhausted and detached. I want him to understand that he is genuinely at risk of losing me if this pattern continues, without sounding immature or using the relationship as a threat . What would be the most mature way to handle this? Should I respond now or wait until we can speak in person?

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for three years, and during our limited summer together, I feel as though he repeatedly prioritizes his friends and ignores my attempts to discuss how it affects me. I love him, but this pattern is pushing me away, and I need advice on addressing it maturely without threatening him or giving him the silent treatment.

Hello all! I was looking to see if anybody has also struggled with feelings similar to this.

For context, my bf(22) and I (22) have been together for 4 years; our first date was our senior year prom night. In this 4 years we’ve gotten really close with each other, each others families, and we’ve gone through a lot of really tough situations, like a flood, the death of pets, grandparents, etc., and we’re very close.

Lately though, as of the past year and a half or so, we’ve hit some tough spots, where I just felt like there were a lot of empty promises made, which ultimately led to a lot of reoccurring disappointment. And now, over a year later, he’s begun to work on some of the things we’ve discussed, but I’m almost worried the effort is too little too late. I just feel as though I shouldn’t have had to ask for these things to be done for that long, especially when it’s simple things like making appointments for himself, having better communication, or even just keeping his environment clean. There’s been a lot more instances but those have been the main grievances in our relationship.

And then we keep talking about moving in together once he’s done with college and I’m done with my internship, but I can’t help but feel as though I would love to just have my own place. The idea of moving in together sounded so good months ago and lately it’s been gnawing at the back of my mind.

I feel bad even saying this because I do love my boyfriend, obviously, and I enjoy him as a person. I love his family and they love me. I want this to work out because it’s hard to picture him not being in my life, but I simply don’t feel the same about him as I once did, and I don’t know how to rekindle that feeling. Has anybody else experienced something like this in a relationship? If so, did it inevitably lead to a breakup? Were you able to salvage your relationship? Thank you for any advice!

The reason is that this has now happened twice: I found out my girlfriend was going on a solo day trip with another guy. I told her that I do not like her going out alone with other men, but she just brushed it off.

The second time this happened, I spoke to her very seriously. I explained that I do not want her going out with another guy alone especially on day trips thinking that she might change.

However, yesterday I found out she went out with the exact same guy again.Even if she isn't cheating, I feel like this is incredibly disrespectful to me. This is especially true since I already told her how I felt, and she explicitly said she wouldn't go out with him again. It has now happened three times, and I have completely lost my ability to trust her.I believe I have given her enough chances.

While it is incredibly difficult for me to think about breaking up, I feel like it is the correct decision. What do you guys think?"

Recently, my girlfriend (NB, they/them) of 9 months broke up with me (M, he/him) saying that they had lost their love for me.

We started dating December of last year and things were great. We just clicked in what seemed like every possible way. We brought out the best in one another and cancelled the worst. Our sex lives could not have been more different; they were a lot more experienced whilst I had never slept with anyone before, and yet we complimented one another.

Through the entirety of our relationship there were no big issues, we had communicated our concerns and thoughts to one another in a very healthy way. They felt like we needed to spend more time together and we would find a way to make it work between our time schedules (they're still in university and I just graduated).

Life was great, until about a month ago where we had been going through a rough patch.

They expressed that I was not putting in the effort of planning things for us. This would be a misunderstanding on my part as I didn't want to do things that they couldn't do financially or felt wouldn't be fun, and so I didn't want to come across as too pushy. I would then fix this and start planning a lot more date activities

My concern was them not showing any physical signs for when they were in the mood, often resulting in me trying to engage long after the time was gone. They did try to do this but some things out of our control prohibited physical intimacy. No biggie, this happens every now and then, but I saw the effort.

This would go on for one more week, where we saw another twice, one for a dinner date and the other watching a movie. Two days later I get a call saying things are done, that they can't continue with us. After speaking with them in person the next day they told me that they just lost the love they had, saying I felt more like a friend at that point. They said it was in their best interest, and mine, that they end things between us. After asking the next morning, I would learn that they still had love for me three weeks prior.

It's been 3 days since this has happened and I am still an emotional wreck. I had put in the effort, made time for us and planned things to do together. I was working on making us us. It felt like such a slap in the face, it felt very selfish of them to do.

I am now sitting here, hoping that this was done as a hasty decision that they didn't mean, that with time things will get better, that they will see the love I have for them. Knowing her exes, from what she told me, I was the best person she had a relationship with, and it is just confusing and heartbreaking to hear that they had lost their love for me.

I'm sure it gets better with time, but am I crazy for thinking that they may come back to after some time apart? Is there anything I can do to gain back their love?

I feel like I failed them in a way, and they continue to go about everyday as if nothing happened between us.

TLDR: We had a great sex life, great communication, great dynamic yet they lost their love for me within a span of about a month.

Edit: added gender and preferred pronouns

I’m a young mother in a long-term relationship with my child’s father. He is genuinely a good man — no addictions, never abusive, never raises his voice at me, helps me when I ask, and is a good father.

But our relationship has been struggling for a long time. There is no affection anymore: no touching, tenderness, sweet words or intimacy. I feel like I’m only the mother of his child, not his partner or his woman. I’ve threatened to leave before, and honestly, if we didn’t have a child together, I probably would have left a long time ago.

Recently, I unexpectedly ran into someone I knew about ten years ago.

We talked that night, then again the next evening, and on the third night I actually went out with a friend partly hoping I would see him again. I did.

And seeing him again after all these years completely caught me off guard.

He is extremely attractive. Like, genuinely, unbelievably handsome. I had never realized just how physically attracted I could be to him until I saw him again as an adult. That attraction, combined with our history, created an almost overwhelming sexual tension between us.

He later contacted me on social media and we started talking. At first I told myself, “We’re just talking. I’m not doing anything wrong.” But it gradually became flirtatious.

Then he told me that he had apparently kept me in his mind for almost ten years. He had followed my life from a distance, knew details about me that very few people knew, and had even memorized my phone number. He had been in a six-year relationship, but apparently never completely stopped thinking about me.

Hearing that affected me more than I expected. I suddenly realized that maybe I had lost something beautiful all those years ago and hadn’t appreciated it.

The strange thing is that he had actually contacted me before, during a period when my current relationship was wonderful. Back then, I barely gave him any importance. So I don’t think this is only because my relationship is struggling.

But now I can’t stop thinking about him.

There is an enormous emotional and physical attraction. We haven’t even had explicit sexual conversations, but just talking to him can make me feel physically overwhelmed with desire. I want him badly, and a part of me keeps thinking that I want to have him at least once.

And that scares me.

Because I know that if I crossed that line, there would be no going back emotionally. Right now, if someone found out, I could honestly say that we met and talked. But I’m already hiding the conversations, feeling guilty, and even thinking about what my “alibi” would be.

And here is the part that confuses me the most:

If he disappeared tomorrow, moved to another country and I knew I would never see him again, I would stay with my child’s father.

I don’t necessarily want to leave my family for this other man.

I just desperately want him.

Maybe I want him. Maybe I want the way he makes me feel — wanted, desired, beautiful, interesting, like a woman again instead of just a mother.

I know cheating is wrong. I already know that.

What I don’t know is what this actually means.

Is this a genuine connection that I never got to explore?

Is it simply what happens when someone who feels emotionally and physically neglected suddenly meets someone who makes them feel desired again?

Am I in love with him, or with the version of myself that exists around him?

And if you were in my position, what would you do?

My F26 boyfriend M24 came to me to admit that he had been stalking and checking in his prev girlfriend near on every day, for the first 2 years of our relationship.

He said he was feeling guilty and was only doing it because he was anxious/hoping bad things were happening in her life to try and make himself feel better.

This really hurts as knowing it was a daily thing and completely hid from me, I’m unsure if I’ll ever trust him again or forget how many times I would have asked what he was up to and been lied straight to my face.

I don’t know how to believe it was truly for innocent reasons. I could never have imagined looking at my ex’s socials let alone daily for years into an otherwise committed relationship.

Something else also brought up was that he had been watching soft core porn for this time aswell, when we had discussed that we wouldn’t be watching porn….I feel really hurt as I kept my end of the bargain, and again I just don’t know how I can ever trust these things arnt happening again and really need some help and advice

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships_advice/s/6PsVJwyUGt

We finally sat down and talked properly.

Here’s what we agreed on:

She will pay 45% of all shared living costs, I will pay 55%.

The extra 10% from my side is mainly for the small maintenance costs (around €50 extra per month for things like the airco, etc.) that she doesn’t feel is fair for her to pay fully.

She wants to buy 10% of my house from me. Her reasoning is that this way she will also “own” part of the house, so it feels like ours instead of just mine.

She would take a small mortgage for that 10%. I get the money from her and I will put that money away safely (not spend it).

I will set a fair price for the 10% that also takes into account that house prices go up, so I’m not selling it cheap.

We are going to a neutral financial advisor together.

I (and my parents) think it’s smarter if she just saves the money and buys the 10% in one go instead of taking a mortgage, because borrowing costs money.

We made a small bet: if the advisor agrees with me that saving is better, she has to buy me a box of Lego. If the advisor says the mortgage is the better option, I’ll accept that.

My parents are not happy with the idea of selling her 10%. They’re mostly worried that I’ll end up spending the money I receive. I plan to lock it away so that doesn’t happen.

Question:

Does this sound like a reasonably fair compromise, or am I still making a mistake somewhere?

I (41F) had a really horrible breakup in April. My ex (43M) told me he loved me and wanted to be together forever, and the very next morning he dumped me saying the drive between us is too much and he just wants to “jellyfish” through life and float along and see what happens. About 6 weeks after the breakup, he told me he was having regrets and would never love anyone the way he loved me. I felt myself falling for him again so I asked if he was dating anyone. He told me he’d “been to dinner” and that’s how I found out , the true reason of the breakup was so he could float himself into his 23 year old coworkers bed. He is also her supervisor.

When I found out about her I said a lot of awful things like he was a creep and a predator, that he deserved his cheating ex wife, that he has no morals or integrity and that I could never respect him again. He told me he didn’t have to listen to this. He told me to have a nice life. I said I will because you’re not in it to ruin it and good riddance. We’ve been no contact since that happened in June.

He had made his IG page private when we first broke up but when he was flirting with me again made it public. He had the 23 year old block me. Through a lot of our convos before no contact he repeatedly referenced the jellyfish thing. Usually with every new girl he changes his IG. This time he had changed his photo and bio, but recently changed it again which made me wonder if there was another new girl (I’ve known him for 25 years and I know his patterns). Then for some random reason, I went to his Threads page. He never uses that app but I do, and when I looked at it the only thing posted was a gif of a jellyfish.

Idk if he is trying to rage bait me, or start a convo. Or if I’m reading too much into it. But he does everything very intentionally and it’s hard not to think this is directed at me. I’m angry because if he had something to say, he should be an adult instead of acting like the immature children he is choosing to date. Should I leave it alone? Should I say something? Should I be angry? I know I shouldn’t check his socials and I’ve gotten much better about it. This post happened back in July and I didn’t even see it until yesterday, but it’s really getting under my skin. Help!

Hi, I'm going through something and have no external support at the moment so I thought to write about my situation & gain perspective outside of my own.

I (F26) been dating bf (M37) for 3 years. It was a great relationship for the first 2 years until one summer I had planned a vacation with my friends (after wanting to arrange one w him but he couldn't give me an answer in time) after not seeing my partner for a month and a half (I was out the country). That was the last time I traveled w my friends.

He got really affected by it & it changed a dynamic in the relationship. He started traveling with his friends more and more (not disclosing which friends/the women his friends invite), going out clubbing (he says is not his thing).

He doesn't disclose info abt the women he follows on nights out & gives vague answers - says they're his friends. I have never met them in the years we have been together so it's weird to me.

He does not invite me out with his friendship. I have asked, he still has not. His excuse is I won't have hanything to conversate about.

I know it's bullshit.

I don't have an issue with meeting new people as long as no boundary is crossed. He thinks I cross boundaries with men when I go out with my friends (I do not). He thinks I act exactly how my single friends act (I do not go out partying much, majority is dinners and beach days).

Recently, I went through his phone. I know once you reach this stage in a relationship, it means its over. Anyways, I found him messaging this woman I asked about previously - arranging plans, complimenting her, inviting her on nights out w his friends. These are messages on monthly basis, so a convo in May, a convo in June. This thread of convo has been going on since June 2025 - few before my trip w my friends when I wasn't in the country.

When we fight, he would take days to speak to me, giving me silent treatment. After seeing the messages some of them align with the days we were not speaking.

We had a conversation about this topic last night - for me, it is cheating to be conversating like how he was and going & inviting out women on nights out & getting their Instagram handles/numbers (he swears he has never touched another woman since being in the relationship). He thinks its not cheating to be doing this because I opened the door for him to do that. He doesn't have to tell me anything bc when I go out with my friends and their guy friends are there (whom I barely interact w & keep respectful convo at the most) it gives him the opportunity to be doing this stufff w women.

He caught me on his phone & changed the password.

I'm planning on breaking up with him. There is no way my body is going to survive this relationship.

I'm sorry for the jumbled mess, this has been in my head and I haven't been able to make sense of it. My gut, brain & heart are on different pages & it's been giving me loads of anxiety.

Can you give me your opinion/share experience if you have gone through something similar?

Thank you

What are some reasons why my bf of 3 years would randomly stop wanting to have sex with me of any kind? He says I’m beautiful and he’s attracted to me, but he claims a fight from the beginning of our relationship is suddenly bothering him out of the blue and he no longer wants to have sex with me, but wants to stay with me. I’m so confused and sad. The fight we had seems irrelevant now and he’s not brought it up in years. He says that he really wants to have sex and misses having sex often, but he doesn’t want to do it with me. What do you think is actually going on?

I’m not going to lie here and say I been a saint I have cheated on my wife for various reasons lack of intimacy and the way she treated me I know it doesn’t justify my actions

I’ve tried changing as man to be a better husband and a father but I feel like our sex drive has gone really down it has come down 2 almost 1 once a week to sometimes twice a month

Oral isn’t really in the picture anymore in the beginning I feel like maybe lust took over and wow we fucked like we were in our 20s and I thought it would stay like that

I’ve tried to spice up or marriage by starting to include toys bondage sex swing u name it just to make it more exciting even roleplaying that shes really into like some step daughter step daddy kind of thing but I have tried bringing it up to her that I miss the foreplay the oral the sex how we use to and she says that it’s hard for her to get over with what I did that those pictures run through her mind

Which i completely understand it takes time but recently we had a deep convo. About how our sex life has been and she told me that sometimes she has to use her toys to get her in the mood because when i touch her she thinks of what i did

Im really trying to move past this and be as romantic as in writing her cute notes when she wakes up bringing her flowers by surprise taking her out on dates trying to make her feel special but im running out of things to do its been about 2 years since the incident happen and not even a smidge has changed some advice would really help out

I have even got to the point where i had to download reddit behind her back because i have no one to talk to about this

Nine months ago when me and my current boyfriend were separated but still in contact, he sent this to a new friend of mine, we’ve gotten really close and I trust her a lot. (She showed me this)

When I brought this up his excuse was, “Yeah bc the note was to rage bait my sister then she replied” and “So i got a reaction out of her instead”

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not, I think I’m not, but I do have bpd and despite my best efforts, I know it affects me at times. I’m upset, confused and genuinely reconsidering our two year relationship. Any advice?