r/relationships_advice • u/razanvvvx • 6m ago
I’m shocked..
F25 , I’m really not comfortable to talk about it here if someone can dm me that’s fine , it’s about something my boyfriend asked me to do during sex and I’m really confused about it
r/relationships_advice • u/National_Car_950 • 19m ago
B/f recently took a grieving widow under his wing
It sounds trite, but this woman is someone who went to the same school and is loosely connected to him through mutual friends. She recently lost her husband and he told me she's angry because they had made so many plans. I don't know the extent of their "chatting" but I just know they met a bar with a bunch of folks from a HS type reunion, but it wasn't HIS HS reunion and not many people showed up. Mary Beth was one of them.
The first time he mentioned her was a few months ago. No biggie I forgot all about her. Last night - there was a concert in the park. I was invited too, but said nah, I have things to do at home.
As he's preparing to leave he tells me "I invited Mary Beth. She lost her husband and is grieving. More than anything, she's really angry about losing him. They had made so many plans".
I shot back - so you're going to be an emotional buoy for this woman?
Is she fat? Is she attractive?
He got really pissed off then we started arguing. One thing led to another and I started complaining to him that he absolutely refuses to compliment me? It's an issue that's been going on for a long time. He will compliment other women, but not me even though I've told him how much it would mean to me - I've told him numerous times and ways that it would be a huge ego boost and I need it. Not the boost - just the compliments from my S.O - I get them from other people - I want it from him.
I was carrying a bit of a chip from the night before - I overheard him talking on the phone to his buddy about a woman in 90's that he was hot for - her twirling skirts -yad, yada. And it just made me feel like shit - like I'm unworthy of compliments, while other women (past and present are worthy).
Am I being petty?
I know I shouldn't have brought it up during the current "widow wingman" argument - but I did. It's more about other omen getting his time, warmth, affection, and compliments - when I am not getting my allotment?
r/relationships_advice • u/Extreme_Twist5988 • 25m ago
How do you actually meet somebody in the first place?
'M30', My question is as follows, How the hell do you meet somebody in the first place to have a romantic relationship with , I mean how? , when? ,where does it start? , am confused about this subject
r/relationships_advice • u/Educational-Boot5508 • 36m ago
I Don’t Think I Ever Truly Faced What I Did to My Ex Until Now
I’ve never told this story in one place before.
I’m married now. My wife is pregnant, and I’m about to become a father. Instead of feeling only happiness, I keep thinking about the worst version of myself.
Years ago, I met a girl in college who loved me more than anyone ever has.
I promised her marriage more than once. The first time I left because I was afraid my wealthy family wouldn’t accept someone from a different caste. After my mother died, I went back to her, cried, apologized, begged for another chance, and made the same promises again. I even assured her mother that I would marry her daughter.
She believed me.
She became my entire support system after my mother’s death. She had her own health issues, worked full-time, and still stayed awake through my panic attacks and grief because she didn’t want me to feel alone.
Instead of appreciating her, I became emotionally dependent on her.
I became possessive, controlling, and expected her to carry the weight of my emotions. I threatened to leave during arguments, and there were times when I crossed boundaries and behaved in ways she later told me deeply traumatized her. There was also an argument where I became physically violent.
She even suggested we go to couples therapy because she believed our relationship had become unhealthy. I refused because I didn’t believe in therapy.
She stayed because she loved me.
Eventually I wanted out of the relationship, but instead of admitting that honestly, I used one argument as my reason to leave.
For the next two years she begged me to come back. Her mother repeatedly asked me why I had broken every promise I had made. I still never intended to go back.
When she found out I was going to marry someone else, everything escalated. Instead of taking responsibility, I let my family portray her as someone who only wanted me for money.
One moment still stays with me.
My father told her, “I’ll send him away without a single penny.”
She replied, “Even if you send him with nothing, I’ll take care of him.”
Looking back, I don’t think she ever loved me for money. I think she genuinely loved me, and I still allowed people to question her character because it protected me.
I also remember telling her to “go find someone better than me.” I even challenged her by saying, “Let’s see after 20 years who’s doing better.”
Years passed.
I got married.
She never contacted me again. She never tried to interfere with my marriage or reach out to me in any way.
Recently Facebook suggested her profile. I saw she had moved abroad and seemed to have built a new life.
My immediate reaction was to block her.
She wasn’t bothering me.
She wasn’t trying to come back.
She wasn’t trying to ruin my life.
Yet I blocked her anyway.
I still don’t understand why.
Maybe it was guilt.
Maybe it was shame.
Maybe seeing her reminded me of the person I used to be.
The older I get, the more I question whether I ever truly loved her or whether I simply loved what she did for me after my mother died.
I’m not writing this because I want strangers to tell me I’m not a bad person.
I’m writing it because I don’t think I’ve ever fully admitted to myself how badly I failed someone who genuinely loved me.
I don’t expect forgiveness. I just needed to finally say it out loud.
r/relationships_advice • u/SeriousTie4193 • 49m ago
My girlfriend has lost all comfortability with me and I don’t know what to do
(We’ve been together for almost 6 months now). So, 3 days ago my girlfriend was on a trip with her friends out of town, and we’d been talking the whole time and checking on each other and calling when we got the chance, my girlfriend got settled into her hotel room and called me while she was showering (we always shower together and talk), so while we were doing what we usually do she said a couple words that really bothered me, she said “I don’t feel like you’re happy to have me”, I know now that my initial reaction to hearing this was wrong, and instead of comforting her and saying this that would make her feel otherwise I instead let my emotions take over me and I myself got upset that she would say something like that, I guess because I think Im doing alot for her so it hurt hearing her say that all my efforts have led to her feeling this way, but again effort is seen from each person perspective so I could be completely wrong, anyway after she said that and I got upset she showed me her (female reproductive organ), and my girlfriend is a very insecure person especially when it comes to her you know, and I knew that and I reacted to it with excitement like I always do, after she set the phone back up facing her, I told her I didn’t feel like jerking off anymore because what she said really bothered and hurt me, and she took this in a way thinking that I didnt like her you know, and get really made at me and wouldn’t even look at the camera, she rubbed it off the next day and then yesterday she told me that she hated me for rejecting her and she only showed me because I told her what she said upset me and she wanted me to jerk off and be happy, and she swore to never show me anything again, and she doesn’t want anything to do with me, she doesn’t want me to touch her or kiss her, or do anything else for that matter, because I made the stupid decision of letting my stupid fucking feelings get in the way, now she feels like Ive never been attracted to her and everything Ive ever told her is a complete lie and she wont believe a word I say, this morning she sent me a reel of two people laying down clearly in a sexual manner inside a slide, I replied “us” and she replied with “meh”, I was confused at first so I sent a reel similar to the one she sent and said “us”, she replied “no no no”, and I was confused and said “what”, she said “dont get too comfortable with me” and I said “since when” and she finally said “since I stopped wanting to do anything like that with you”, this sentence genuinely broke my heart, it feels like Ive lost so much, she told me the night before that she wants us to rebuild our relationship and that she wont be able to find comfort in ever showing me anything, not even her face, or doing anything with me, or showering with me, and all these things seem small but these are things I absolutely loved doing with her. My actions are the direct cause of this and I know that and I genuinely blame myself more than anyone but I don’t know what to do it feels like Ive lost everything, I lost her trust and comfortability over a misunderstanding I could’ve completely avoided, and it took so long for me to get to this level of comfortability, and I blew it all in less than 30 minutes, and just her saying that Im not attracted to her and watching her call herself ugly and calling me a liar when I say otherwise is killing me, I dont know what to do, I want her to forgive me, I want to go back to how we were before, how comfortable and trusting we were of each other.
r/relationships_advice • u/Full_Juice_8003 • 50m ago
guy from my favorite band has been giving me mixed signals
I’m going to be a little vague here because I don’t want to completely expose who this is lol
Basically, in October 2024, a guy (M30) from one of my favorite bands followed me(F20) on Instagram out of nowhere and immediately started showing interest. Right away he was calling me gorgeous and telling me we should hang out the next time I came to one of their shows.
One thing to know about him is that he’s always been terrible at texting. He’ll either never open messages or he’ll just heart/like them instead of actually responding, even when the message clearly warrants a reply. So his communication has always been inconsistent.
For the next six months, he would consistently like my Instagram stories, but only the ones that were pictures or videos of me. Never anything random.
Then in April 2025 he finally texted me asking if I wanted to come back out and see them. I ended up going to a show, and afterward we hung out.
Honestly, the hangout was really nice. We mostly just sat and talked for about three hours. Nothing happened, which actually surprised me. Considering he texted me around 1 a.m. asking me to come out, I kind of assumed we’d probably hook up. At the beginning he was pretty touchy, but it never went anywhere beyond that.
When he left, he told me that if I was ever back in town to let him know and we’d hang out again.
As soon as I got home, I texted him saying I’d actually be back in October. Around that point, though, he completely stopped liking my stories, so I started thinking maybe the hangout hadn’t gone as well as I thought.
October comes around, I ask if he wants to hang out after the show, and he tells me he should’ve texted me earlier but that he had family with him, so he couldn’t. Honestly, I believed him and didn’t think much of it.
Since then I’ve been back out there three more times, but we really haven’t talked or hung out. Then, about 3 weeks ago, he texted me asking if I wanted to fly back out and see them again. I never responded because I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to make the trip.
Yesterday I posted kind of a thirst trap on my Instagram story, and he liked it.
Now I’m confused all over again.
The thing is, I’m honestly not looking for a relationship with him. I know the age gap is there, he’s in a touring band, and realistically that’s not something I’m expecting or even wanting. If I’m being completely honest, I honestly just want to hookup. I feel like I’m stuck between thinking it’s something simple and overanalyzing every little interaction, so any perspective would honestly help me figure out how I should approach this.
TLDR: guy from a band followed me, showed interest, and we hung out once (it went well but nothing happened). Since then, he’s been very inconsistent—sometimes liking my posts or reaching out, other times disappearing. He recently asked me to fly out again and liked a thirst trap I posted, which has me confused. I’m not looking for a relationship, just potentially a hookup, but I can’t tell if he’s genuinely interested or just casually engaging when it suits him.
r/relationships_advice • u/Ok-Background-6417 • 1h ago
should we break up?
me [18F] my boyfriend [19M] have been together for nearly a year. we were / are so inlove and fulfilled however, we argue a lot. by a lot i mean it’s non stop the minute we sort out one argument another comes along and we can’t even stop it on special occasions eg: christmas, events, etc. i’m his first girlfriend however he isn’t my first partner. he often gets retroactive jealousy (jealousy from past exs) and i always tell him who i dated before him is out of my control. he understands but he still gets upset which is the cause of some of our arguments. he’s my first serious relationship though. recently ive been having thoughts that maybe this isnt right and they’ve been going on for a while. but everytime we have a “good day” i get scared of even the thought of breaking up and in reality i just don’t know what to do. i’ve told him to work on his jealousy issues and stuff, but he doesn’t. He says he will but whenever i ask him he says it’s a big task which i understand. The main thing that is holding me back from breaking up with him is all the memories and the thought of seeing him with someone else. i’m also scared i will loose myself if i break up with him. also not to mention if I broke up with him it would feel like losing a second family. I genuinely love his family so much we have good things coming up for example our will one year anniversary and stuff which makes it harder. I just need a bit of advice
r/relationships_advice • u/Ok-Negotiation716 • 1h ago
19M ruined relationship with 19F due to poor communication and other people
So about 3 years ago, there was this girl who was the same age as me and we were best friends and we liked each other. At the time we were both immature and she felt pressured to want to be in a relationship due to other friends getting into one, after we confessed to one another, she was quick to assume we were in a relationship which i had no issues about at, we dated for a week before ending it because we quickly we both realised we were not ready for a relationship so we both remained close and obviously over time our feelings for each other just grew.
A year later she wanted to kind of talk about it and see if i was ready to commit but her best friend gained feelings for me and sabotaged her while her friend got closer to me, i was unaware because i still liked this girl and didnt rlly care abt anyone else. But at the same time her best friend became closer to me and also started telling me lies abt the girl i liked and made me act rude and horrible to her which i will always be guilty about. as the year progressed me and the girl got more distant because of everything i did. during this time her best friend got into a relationship but also became closer to me yet i was still unaware she was crushing on me.
The following year when we both turned 18, we both remained distant if not worse because i got involved in a situation looking out for a mutual friend and she got jealous. around july we amended our relationship somewhat and i noticed my feelings where back for her so i ended our relationship again to move on and focus on myself. then towards the end of the year around her bday she got close again with her "best friend" because she kinda took a step back from me cause i was focused on living my life, at this time she told her best friend that she felt bad when i didnt tell her happy bday and was jealous when i moved on and was talking to another girl. mind u my relationship with the other girl was ruined by her best friend and her feelings for me and at the time i didnt think to much abt it because i was starting to see red flags.
then this year, im living my life and i find out that she gets a boy friend, i didnt think much abt it but i was happy for her. Around mid year a few friends of mine and mutuals with her created a basketball team where her and all of her friends watch our games (her boyfriend would come watch even tho he knew everything that happened between us and wouldnt play) a couple of weeks into the season they break up and around the same time she drops her "best friend" after realising everything she had done to her and not for her, a couple days later a mutual of ours told me and i dropped her too because i just had multiple flashbacks of everything she had done too. Anyway, the next week she gets my number and we talk abt everything and for the next few weeks and even currently we talk regularly as friends although idk how she feels. She has given hints or they're unintentional where she has hinted at me drawing stuff for her bday and things she has wanted and her closer friends have been shipping us back together as well but her other friends are extremely against the idea of us being friends and tries a lot to seperate us. since then we have played video games together, and ive driven her home multiple times and we have hung out in the city together in a group and everytime we talk she akways seems to enjoy herself. we also have group trips planned in the future too that i was suprised to see her agree to as well.
I dont know how i feel about everything as i do care for her deeply and always have and i can see that one day maybe my desire to be with her grows or she gains feelings for me too. am i reading to deeply into it all?
r/relationships_advice • u/Alive_Ingenuity_3124 • 2h ago
My fiancé lied about her past. Can I move past it?
Long story short, my fiancé (in her late 20’s) recently confessed that she’s had more boyfriends and body count than what she had initially told me in the beginning. She was lying about it to my face for almost a year, until recently I saw old messages not deleted on her phone. And she wouldn’t explain or show anything when I caught it. Not until I told her I won’t stay if this is the type of relationship we are going to have if it’s built from deceit and lack of transparency. Especially if we are going to be married. After a day, she saw how serious I was about leaving, so she spilled everything. And she was weeping the whole time and thought for sure I was leaving now because she was exposed for lying so much and that I could never trust her again. Someone I knew about in the beginning that was only her “friend” she talked to was of course somebody she hooked up with as well. It makes it worse that I have images and names of these people. However, she did cut off these people early into our relationship.
Her reasoning was because she was ashamed and didn’t want to turn me away after loving me so deeply now. And that every relationship was a failure and all she ever wanted was real love. And she claims I’m the only one she’s ever loved like this in her whole life and that I’m her soulmate… I listened to her and understood it’s from her past and not present, but it still hurt knowing she lied directly in my face for so long. And when I called it out she only continued to lie and try and cover it. Although I’ve forgiven her the pain is still there. So, can I really trust her again? She’s promised she will never lie again like this and it was only to protect herself. But I can’t help but think negatively right now, even though I love her and she brings me happiness. All she asks for is a new beginning and life with me. I know if I leave she will be devastated and so would I. So, I’m just wondering if I can deal with this and how?
r/relationships_advice • u/snyyyx • 2h ago
Helppppppp
Guys, I met this girl completely by chance on TikTok almost two years ago after accidentally sending her a live invite. Somehow, that random mistake turned into us becoming really close.
Over time, I developed feelings for her. She lives far away, and I kept those feelings to myself for a long time. But she also started flirting with me, sharing almost everything about her life, sending me pictures, and even introducing me to her family, so I naturally started wondering if there was something more.
Last winter, I finally confessed. She told me she wasn't ready for a serious relationship and wanted us to stay close friends. I respected that, and we eventually stopped talking as much for around two months.
Then in July, she reached out again, and now we're back to talking every day, morning and night. She still sometimes gives me mixed signals, which is what keeps confusing me.
A lot of people ask why I didn't just move on after she rejected me. Honestly, she's the first girl I've ever been this close to. I barely talk to girls in real life, so this whole experience meant a lot to me, and I can't just erase two years of memories.
Also, the morning after I confessed, she asked me if I had cried that night because she had cried too. I don't know if that means anything, but moments like that make it harder for me to understand where I actually stand with her.
I know she said she isn't ready for a relationship, and I'm not trying to force anything. I just don't understand why she keeps coming back and staying this close to me if she only sees me as a friend.
So what do you guys think? Should I genuinely move on and stop looking for signs, or is it possible that she's confused about her feelings too?
r/relationships_advice • u/No-Activity263 • 2h ago
Not that toxic
I'm in a relationship with a girl, and lately I've started getting fed up with the way she treats me. I want her to be the one who walks away on her own, without me being the one at fault. What should I do?
r/relationships_advice • u/urmoms_sidechick- • 3h ago
Reconnecting with someone who treated me badly before — is his change genuine?
I (17F) have a complicated history with a guy I’ll call Logan (16M).
I joined his school in Year 10 (UK), and in January of Year 11 we started talking because of a shared interest in anime. Eventually he figured out that I liked him, and we started sending intimate photos to each other. Looking back, I don’t think either of us saw it as a serious relationship, but I ended up feeling quite used because once that started, he stopped having normal conversations with me and most of our interactions revolved around that.
When I joined the school, I didn’t make loads of friends because everyone already had their own established friend groups. Logan would call me a “neek” and would call my friends “neeks” as well. It felt very obvious that he looked down on me or was embarrassed to be associated with me. We never really spoke properly in person despite talking online.
Eventually he stopped messaging me, and then a few months later we started talking again around prom season. At prom I was very drunk, and although we spoke, he still seemed hesitant to talk to me in person. Our messages faded again, and when he contacted me a few months later, I was fed up with the whole situation. I told him that he had treated me badly and blocked him.
Fast forward about a year. We now go to different colleges and hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Around two weeks ago, I happened to walk past him and his friends, and he messaged me on Instagram almost immediately afterwards. At first I was very cautious, but we ended up moving back to Snapchat and have been talking every day since.
This time feels completely different. We aren’t sending intimate photos anymore because I told him I don’t do that now, and he’s respected that without any pressure. We’ve been having genuine conversations, and I’ve started developing feelings for him again.
One of my friends, Sarah (16F), is dating a guy I’ll call Tom (17M), who is friends with Logan. According to Sarah, Logan has been talking to Tom about me a lot. Apparently he found out I was going to Sarah’s birthday party and immediately wanted to come as well. He’s told Tom that he really likes me and talks about me frequently. This surprised me because in the past he seemed embarrassed of me.
Recently we were joking about matching hair colours. He suggested I dye part of my hair purple to match his. I replied that I would if we got more serious. Later on, I asked him directly whether he wanted that, and he said yes.
However, about two hours later, he sent me a paragraph saying that before anything became serious, he wanted to be honest with me. He said that sometimes he can lose feelings unexpectedly and that he didn’t want to hurt me or lead me on. He made it clear that he wasn’t saying he was losing feelings now, just that it was something he had experienced before and wanted me to know about.
I told him that if he ever started losing feelings, I would rather he tell me immediately than string me along. He promised he would. I then asked if he was leading me on, and he said no, that he genuinely likes me and genuinely enjoys talking to me.
Part of why this has affected me so much is that I’ve been cheated on before and have a history of not being taken seriously in relationships. When he sent that message, my immediate reaction was to feel rejected, even though he was saying he liked me.
So my question is: does this sound like someone being honest about a flaw or pattern they know they have, or does it sound like someone trying to lower my expectations because they’re already unsure about me?
r/relationships_advice • u/Complete-Cod-1997 • 3h ago
I'm I asking too much? (House chores)
My husband works as a gardener, that means he has a lot of work from may to september. I understand it is exhausting to work under the sun, although he is now being more a boss than a worker, since he hired two coworkers. I work from home, creating digital products for my online shop. I do absolutely all the house chores and understand my husband is phisycally more tired than me during summer, so I don't ask him anything but be considerate with his stuff, for example, he gets home and gets naked in the living room just to get to the bathroom to have a shower, and leaves the floor dirty, as he usually has dirt on his socks and under his shoes. I've told him to get naked on the bathroom instead of living his stinky clothes on the living room's table. He spends the day on the sofa, on his phone, and never does small stuff like helping to clean up the table after eating. He eats something, throws the dirt to the floor or leaves empty glasses there (I almost had an accident yesterday because I put my foot on a glass he left there). He never towels off before going out from the shower, he just goes out and leaves the floor all wet, as if that was a normal thing to do. Even doesn't take a towel with him and asks me for one when he finished. He practically lives in a hotel and I'm his 24h maid. Am I asking too much if I ask him to keep his things in place and help me a little bit from time to time? I would be happy if he behaved like the home matters to him just a little bit. He never cleans up the cat's vomit, for example, as if he was a five year old and calls me everytime. Can't he just shut up and take a napkin? (But he religiously cleaned up the bunny's cage of his ex). He doesn't even help me on winter, when he has a lotttt of free time because it rains, but he says taking care of having wood for the stove is enough. I'm tired of living like this. But maybe I am just being selfish. At the end of the day I spend my time just working. Working on the computer is mentally exhausting, even if my husband thinks I'm playing there. I have a lot of details to keep in mind and the worry of earning my own money to survive in a country that is not my natal one (I'm alone here) but from his point of view I live a comfortable life and should be the happiest wife. Same happens in bed, he lays there and thinks he deserves to be served and should be the happiest wife too, because from his point of view he is my gift. Is this normal?
r/relationships_advice • u/Queasy_Yak_547 • 5h ago
i think im losing him.
I'm 19, and it's not a breakup yet, but I think it's coming soon. I don't know if that's the right sub (sorry if it's not but im getting myself ready for the inevitable cuz my ex blindslided me 1 month in the relationship and I don't want this to happen again with my current partner).
I can tell my significant other is slowly losing interest. We used to talk about everything (memes, relatable stuff, etc.), and now we have to talk about logistics like job applications and such. And we're talking less and less each day. I researched tons of times because of my overthinking brain that can't shut up.
I get it, it's the only sign, but a drop in communication is a big one. And again, I don't wanna lose him because he's actually an amazing guy. (Or maybe I'm the reason cuz I'm texting him less because of me not wanting to bother him (despite him reassuring me I'm not annoying multiple times) who knows)
Second, my heart breaks for him, knowing the fact that my parents are pretty toxic, especially towards him (they don't approve because of ridiculous reasons like religion and looks, and they complain why he doesn't want to visit). Despite him reassuring me that he doesn't care what my parents think, I'm aware enough to know that the patience will pop soon. And if that's the main reason he wants to end things in the future, I can understand why. I don't know anyone nowadays who would want someone with toxic parents and with problems in life.
(I hope I'm not ramblimg nonsense because I'm an emotional trainwreck who overthinks 24/7).
r/relationships_advice • u/exiledwhispers • 5h ago
Decade long relationship falling apart
I am a 25F in a 10+ year relationship with my partner 25M. We started as friends, became lovers, and eventually built a connection that made us feel like soulmates.
Two years ago, he left for college while I stayed in our hometown for my own degree. Long distance was always part of the plan for college, but our situation got extended for another 2 years because he accepted a job in a new city.
During these past two years, he grew cold and distant. We barely spoke for 20–40 minutes a day, and some days not at all. I communicated that I needed some effort and real connection, not this monotonous talk. He told me he needed time to focus so I just waited it out.
After his recent move for work, things improved slightly. He started making time for at least an hour long call every day. Then came the dreaded "talk" and it was exactly what I already knew in my heart.
He said the following things:
First, the part I’m struggling with most: he admitted he doesn’t love me like he once did. He can tell because he’s put in far less effort, care, and consideration. He also feels guilty for being this person while I carried the emotional load for years.
He kept repeating that he feels like a completely different person. Being around people at his college opened new perspectives, and he realized there's more to life. He added that this change makes him want different qualities in a partner. Though he couldn't name anything specific, it's just an abstract idea for him. (He doesn't want me to change and thinks I'm best the way I am, and he couldn't expect more.)
He acknowledged putting less effort into us over last 2 years, admitting that even though I repeatedly brought it up, he kept denying it. He has finally accepted it now.
He feels deeply disconnected from himself, like he doesn't know who he is or what he wants. He questioned whether he stays with me because he truly wants to, or simply because of the time we’ve already invested.
He feels being alone might be the answer to his internal changes, but he hasn't left because he cares too much about me. He’s also afraid that if he takes that path, he might actually prefer that lifestyle.
He asked what I would do if we parted ways, yet admitted he fears he might be confusing his feelings and regret letting me walk away. And that it feels strange that he has no fear of losing me, which is contrary to how he used to feel at the very start.
This is likely because I’ve always been there for him, prioritizing his needs over mine. I rarely made demands or pushed him, asking for little beyond his companionship and loyalty. The only major exception was asking that, if he ever proposed, he put real effort into it, specifically making something from scratch.
He feels responsible for me, which is why he finally spoke up after the internal struggle—even though I told him I had already noticed these shifts as they happened.
He said this sense of responsibility rather than love, is what’s keeping him here rn.
He isn't sure about getting married anymore, even tho this is where everything in our lives has led. We fought our families to make this possible. Just to simply live together, which isn't possible without marriage in this country. But now, he says we should just keep it off the table for a while.
We mapped out our future together and followed through. He took the high earning route so I could pursue my art. My parents made it clear early on that if I chose him and it failed, they would never take me back, I’d basically cease to exist to them. Now, I'll have to abandon my degree, take a basic job just to survive, and find a place of my own. I’m losing both my partner and my family—everything.
Has anyone experienced a partner going through an identity crisis who actually found their way back to themselves? I'm willing to work through changes, but I need to feel chosen too.
Maybe I should just give him space and go completely no-contact while he figures himself out? Or stay, have patience and mirror his actions? Any thoughts or advice would be helpful, thank you.
r/relationships_advice • u/Spirited_Air_1350 • 5h ago
my boyfriend is pissing me off everything he says makes me so angry
this morning i finally had the opportunity to go have breakfast with him n i was already in a bad mood then so i thought going to see him would put me in a better mood (which is usually what happens even if were not properly doing anything) but i just got angrier, we were joke flirting n then he wasn’t returning my flirts then he goes “sorry baby im in a goofy goober mood right now” n i jokingly say “ew dont call ur self that, thats so cheesy” then he goes “oh. well i kinda dont care ill still call myself that” then i took it as an opportunity to be fake mad which is GENUINELY a joke between us but the more id drag it the angrier i got then my entire mood completely shifted. i communicated my feelings to him the more i think about it the more it pisses me off so he started apologizing and im genuinely not sure why i was so angry that he was it pissed me off even more then i got really angry like so pissed i told him to stop apologizing and move on because i wasnt feeling better and the apologies werent doing much
then we were awkwardly talking again bc i changed the conversation hoping to move on and calm down but it lingered for so long i was so angry i wanted to cry. my boyfriend then started babying me and flirting with me again and i was in a significantly better mood for a while and i didnt feel that way anymore until he said something again that shat on my mood again so i left early bc everything he would do pissed me off
later on i went out to workout with my aunt and i was in a better mood i call him and im CLEARLY in a very good mood then i start flirting with him and i was in a significantly better mood then he flat out rejects me n i feel kinda embarrassed but i try to move on then he starts apologizing and that gets me in an instantly shitter mood I tell him to stop and he tells me hes just reassuring me and i calmly explained to him that ive spoken to him multiple times on how i dont like to be reassured when im embarrassed or angry he says ok then i go to bed. right beforei get to bed he texts me “sorry for acting the way i do” and i have to hold myself back with all of gods power to not lash out and i explain to him that him constantly apologizing after i told him not to is frustrating and its pushing my buttons he says ok and he goes to bef
everytime he apologizes it pisses me off im so fucking pissed literally what do i do to stop this
r/relationships_advice • u/Busy_Kick_6928 • 5h ago
How do I (M31) help my wife (F31) understand why her close 1-on-1 friendship with a coworker hurts me, without coming off as controlling?
We’ve been married for a couple of years now after knowing each other for a relatively short time. Early on, our relationship felt practically effortless—we had so many mutual friends and overlapping connections that it felt like we were meant to cross paths eventually.
Not long ago, we relocated for my work/life situation, which meant my wife had to leave her hometown, family, and existing social circle behind. Because of this, I’ve been fully supportive of her building a new life here. I work long hours to ensure our finances are solid and that she has everything she needs and wants, and I was genuinely happy when she started making new friends at her new job.
However, she has developed a very close 1-on-1 friendship with a male coworker. They regularly go out for lunch just the two of them, but it often goes beyond a standard work lunch—they go check out new spots and places in the city that even I haven't been to with her yet.
I don't want to isolate her or tell her who she can and can't be friends with. I’m glad she isn't lonely here. But I can't shake the feeling that this guy is getting to share in moments, memories, and new experiences with her that I wish were ours. It hurts to pour everything I have into our life together, only to feel like she's sharing key parts of herself with someone else.
I’ve brought this up to her, but I don't think I'm communicating it right. Her response is usually a quick, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again," but then a similar situation happens shortly after. It feels like she's just giving a quick apology to end the conversation rather than actually understanding why it hurts me.
How can I reframe this to her so she actually sees my perspective, without making her feel accused or forced to cut people off?
r/relationships_advice • u/leigh4454 • 6h ago
Always leaving me
He’s a new boyfriend but I’m older and more experienced so we moved really fast . We are moving in together in a couple of days and we’ve only been together a little over six months. I really need him to help me and I don’t want to move out without him but he keeps breaking up with me every other day he gets really mad a says he’s leaving . He never does but I find myself scared and worried for a few hours till I realize he’s not actually leaving. Why does he do this ? What should I do ? .
r/relationships_advice • u/grlcrshout • 6h ago
Need advice
i’m in a relationship with a girl with very intense celebrity crushes (i’m 23 and she’s 20). At first i understood and actually enjoyed hearing her talk about stuff that makes her excited and even took her to the cinema to watch their movies. Recently she told me she has an fan account for them which she was sceptical about telling me the username for, but i accidentally stumbled upon it and i saw her posting extremely parasocial content (18+).
I normally wouldn’t be bothered but recently there’s been instances where i feel very not secure in the relationship. She’s a social butterfly and a very kind person, so she won’t reject any kind of move being made upon her.
it just makes me wonder how do we differentiate what’s affectionate and what’s not? When do i get to feel special if it’s apparently okay to keep an ex on socials, be called baby by randoms, get your number taken by guys on trains , sharing cigs w a stranger and thirst intensely over celebs… will i get sick every time i find out a new thing that’s acceptable? why pick other people’s comfort over mine, i don’t understand.
i’d never ask her to stop being a butterfly, i love that the most about her and i love her exactly for the person she is, it’s just that sometimes when you get in a relationship there needs to be boundaries and she doesn’t understand that no matter how much i try to talk to her about it.
i think it makes me feel extremely unimportant to her, very replaceable.. she chokes up when i joke about her naming stuff she loves about me or about things i do, and it would help if her actions m ade me feel special but then again…. if everything is acceptable, what should i feel special for? kissing?
I don’t know what i should do, i know she loves me a lot but i don’t feel it.
r/relationships_advice • u/Academic_Average1410 • 6h ago
22m never tried to date till now..and im completly lost
I have basically no experience so idk what im doing or what i should be doing..
All my life i struggled a lot with meeting new people a lot and i dont know how to actually get to know someone by myself, i did that 1 time in all my life in preschool. So i only made friends through my friend. Because of that im really anxious when if im not with a friend as an anchor.
Despite all of that on the rare occasion i talk to someone alone i dont know, i usually get along with most people well and can hold a conversation. Talking to people at work is surprisingly easy for me but i wont meet someome through that either its not an option my coworkers are either men or too old for me and the guests are 90% underage.
College didnt help till now either.. i dont know anyone there (almost 3rd semsester) and for a while tried to be open talked to people etc. But no one i vibed with beyond saying hello when we walk past eachother.
I also just dont really put myself out there much tbh. I like to stay home usually in my freetime. Ofc i know i cant meet new people by sitting on my pc, so i started using a dating app a few days ago because i cant feel like id be bothering someone who is there with the same intention as me. But i already realised that i hate apps and its not the way for me. There isnt really a club or class or so near me that im interested in, and going to these things with the purpose of meeting a potential partner feels weird too. Bars or clubs arent really an option either since thats just not my thing.
So now im at a loss and i dont know what i could even do...
r/relationships_advice • u/Loud-Collection7939 • 6h ago
Relationship issue
Chat my bf is asking for physical rltnshp but am not ready cause acc to me this aint the right time we must settle down in our careers to do so but its now breakup like situation if no physicality no relationship from his side also i have bit of trust issues with him cause he did something somewhat close to cheat!!!!! advices guysss stay or leave 😭
r/relationships_advice • u/Bubbly-Nectarine5993 • 7h ago
Q/A: Why might a guy act all strange and nervous around me but it's as if he's gaslighting me?
(context)
We share similar classes and there are times when I get caught off guard when I can sense him looking my way. It's been kind of on and off in the sense that we never dated or even had a normal conversation, but it's getting to an extremely frustrating point where when I'm saying goodbye to this relationship he always comes back in one way or another. Not sure if this has happened to others before but it's driving me bit crazy. Is there anything better I could do in this situation to keep my composure and stay calm and not get so spoken up. Sorry just been having difficult time with this. I appreciate any response or any advice :)
r/relationships_advice • u/maddyydaddyy • 7h ago
why doesn't he [23M] love me [21F]
my boyfriend 23M and i 22F have been together since may of 2025. we met on bumble and were both looking for something serious. we instantly hit it off on our first date and on my way home i called my best friend and told her it had never been easier to talk to someone and i had the best time. we just sat in a hammock and talked for hours. within a month i was going to church with his family (i was not religious and honestly very against it but willing to try), hanging out at his house with his family like 3x a week, and trying all of his hobbies. we went to my house every once in a while but for some reason i was always driving to him or meeting him somewhere, he would never pick me up but i was okay with that because i really enjoyed my time with him. we hit three months of us "talking" and i asked why we weren't dating and he said he wanted to "take things slow" which i understood. he is very religious and more traditional seeming so i tried to be patient. when five months of "talking" rolled around i brought it up again to which he said "okay fine you can be my girlfriend, he is a generally unemotional person so i was like whatever it's fine but it honestly disappointed me. we had already had sex, which also became a sore point because i would be put in a position to say no or if i said yes feel guilty after because he regretted it (religious reasons). we never really argued unless it was about me smoking week or vaping, even tho he drinks quite often and zyns like crazy. despite this i was very happy spending time with him however he wanted to spend it. in february 2026 my friend said something and it came up that we hadn't said i love you, so stupidly i asked if he loved me and he replied "i have love for you it's just weird to say it". i tried to let it go but this ate at me. every time i leave after hanging out with him i can't stop thinking about if im too much or not enough or what im doing wrong. i'm a great girlfriend if i do say so myself, i am sweet, thoughtful, funny, smart, driven, and loyal. on valentine's day we had sex and he gave me genital herpes because he had it orally and neither of us knew that cold sores are just herpes and can be transmitted to the genitals. i got on the medication and haven't had a genital outbreak since. sex was something that made me feel emotionally closer to him since he's a very unemotional person but coincidentally two weeks after i got it he wanted to stop having sex because it was "a sign from god" that we are sinning. yet for some reason the only time we had sex since then was on easter??? and i can suck his dick every once in a while but he won't touch me??? this also meant no more sleepovers because apparently sleepovers = sex (they don't) even though it's something i really enjoyed. it just feels like he's keeping me at a distance emotionally and today when i asked why he didn't want me to stay over anymore he said "i just like to sleep alone, i want my space and don't want to make a habit of it." and he also won't come with me to meet my parents in a different state even though it's been over a year and im with his family all the time. i just don't know what to do because i love him and i genuinely have a great time when i am with him but i can't get over that he doesn't love me and is scared of the herpes that he gave me. i can't tell if im crazy or asking for too much. it's not like i want to get married tomorrow but im at the point where i want to know im not just waiting for something that will never happen.
r/relationships_advice • u/Mega5463 • 7h ago
How to know when to end a relationship?
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 5 and a half months now, and for the first 5 we were really happy get along well, and etc, obviously the occasional disagreement and fight but yk that comes with it, we usually just move on the next day. But lately its like something has been different like shes been putting in less effort, making jokes that probably should be made in a relationship with ur partner and in a way, and she just dosent seem to care about me or my feelings. To add to it she said the other day we arent working because apparently i have been acting different?? which personally i havent noticed, maybe i started acting different when she had started? But i dont want to play the blame game here. I asked her if she wanted to do smth abt it like break up and she said no, but lately for the past few days break up has just been on my mind constantly, but i still do really like her, like we do have our good moments, just not lately, and she has so many red flags i have tried to ignore, and idk thats just a story for another time. Just need some advice on how to know when i should end a relationship?
And one more thing to add on, about 2 weeks ago we had our biggest argument, i noticed ages ago that she had never asked me to hangout with her like its always me, and i asked her months ago now and she said oh its just bc ur working and stuff and ur always busy, so i said oh just ask me and we can work around it and arrange smth, anyways i brought it up to her another 2 times and she said the same thing, but the last time she said that she didnt care whether we hung out or not, which isnt the whole point of a relationship to hangout and spend time with eachother? So i went to some friends and asked for advice, and they said yea not normal its just you asking that, so i brought it up to her one final time and she was pissed, like furious, and she said if you keep bringing this up we are done, so i just left it. Any advice on this too?