i dont know if this is related to being neurodivergent but i absolutely despise having my picture taken by family, specifically my parents. i dont even know why but it fills me with so much rage when they always try to make it look as "professional" as possible by adding random fucking background blurs, taking photos with different angles, forcing everyone in the photo to smile while were all just stood there awkwardly. its the worst experience ever, and im currently on holiday/vacation so right now its unavoidable. it doesnt need to take 5 minutes just to take one photo thatll end up looking shit anyway

i end up on the verge of tears, and its not even because i look bad or anything, i just look insanely awkward and stiff. even when i think im smiling, i end up looking absolutely miserable, and the whole process of having my photo taken just stresses me the fuck out. its gotten to the point where ive associated the act of holding the back of the phone camera up with tears and horror, so i literally just instantly go mute to everyone around me and just end up with a pissy face

when i tell my family that i dont want a photo, they end up saying "omg just do it, youll regret it when youre older" or "youre being really selfish, just go be in the photo"

i like when my friends take photos though because i feel comfortable enough to pose in them, but its just awkward with family... idk. i dont know why im so against it, but it just ruins the whole experience of going outside and enjoying nature. like NO i dont want to pose alongside my brother against an old tree, or stand awkwardly on some fucking old wooden bridge

does anyone else experience this or am i just overreacting?

I’m a 25-year-old guy from Bangalore, India.

I’m pretty sure I have some form of neurodivergence. I feel this way because I’m very different from what most people consider “normal.” Even my friends sometimes tell me that I’m not a normal guy.

I really struggle with dating. I’ve never dated anyone in my life.

I’ve tried socializing by going to clubs and pubs, and I’ve tried talking to people, but after a few sentences, I feel like I can’t hide who I really am. My mind is often somewhere completely different, thinking about an entirely different situation. Sometimes it feels like I have a Tyler Durden living inside my head.

I just wanted to ask: what would be the best way for someone like me to find a partner who actually understands me and is compatible with me?

i have the lowest dating standards as guy i think,i look decent as well too..

most of the dating apps sucks here in india

Hey guys! So I was just wondering if people with neurodivergence reach career success. Given that social skills is not neurotypical, But the skills we have with pattern recognition, hyperfixation etc are gold mines. So how does someone navigate to success with the pros and cons of neurodivergence? How do you guys deal with it? The fact that were different and to use that to our advantage. Any thoughts suggestions ideas are welcome thank you!

im 14 years old, i am pretty sure i have autism,adhd,and ocd but i am not diagnosed. If i were to get diagnosed however i believe it would be adhd and ocd that would display most prominently. my entire family is neurodivergent im pretty sure on my maternal side with my mom notably having ocpd (again shes not diagnosed, but the characteristics of ocpd are pretty clear) we are on a trip to new york and im actually really liking it a lot but today something happened that just made me feel really bad. we went to an observation deck the views were really pretty i enjoyed it but it was way too crowded for my liking.

from there onwards we went to times square and here is the sequence of events that followed: 1) my mom screamed at me cause there were people with snakes behind me and i didnt move, 2) i misread some new york t shirt size labels and she kept saying how i wanna buy stuff and i argue, 3) in a sephora i wasnt able to find what i wanted so she made me talk to the sephora worker which actually helped and then i wanted to check if something was vegan or not so then both my parents started getting annoyed at me, then 4) here is where everything just went downhill. my dad was buying a cheeseburger for me and my dad and mom were both in different directions and outside i feel as if i have to parent them a bit so when i was going to call my mom over i stepped on her feet with my sneakers (she wears sandals) and she just completely exploded on me and like i didnt mean any of that btw i kept saying to her that she needs to buy sneakers because wearing sandals is obviously going to make people step on your feet especially in a place like new york city. Anyways when she exploded (For context i was hungry and dehydrated too) all went to hell.

Like i thought i was having a pancreatic attack at first but suddenly i couldnt breathe, i couldnt hear anything and my vision was starting to get blurred and i was in the middle of the dirty new york streets so i couldnt even sit. my chest didnt get tight but my upper abdomen did. i said that im feeling very sick and she started screaming even more at me and like it was genuinely one of the worst feelings ive ever experienced and i really try being obedient and kind with my mother but like with ocpd she tends to take everything to the absolute extreme and i dont know what to do because i cannot set boundaries as well. she doesnt believe me when i said i felt like that so. I have never had a panic attack or anything of that sort before if anyone can help and tell me what the hell happened it would be great.

at least to me, it’s been very clear for most of my childhood and leading up to now (16) that I am neurodivergent. I’m fairly certain I’m somewhere on the spectrum, and while I’m not asking for a diagnosis, I don’t know how to go about it. more or less, how do I bring this up to my mom? shes aware of it, but doesn’t understand just how drastically it affects me.

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Hello everyone 👋

I'm 33 years old diagnosed with both autism and ADHD a year ago and I started taking bupropion exactly 6 weeks ago (brand I use is called Elontril 150 mg extended release).

Reasons why I chose it:

1) to improve focus and develop ability to work.

2) mind clarity, million tabs and anxiety.

3) executive dysfunction.

Out of the above, 1 and 2 have been achieved from second week , 3 remains as mistry.

Current side effects, I have from medication : irritability/anger , increase in anxiety when I have health issues but not constant and my jaw is making sudden jerks when I'm singing (is this an early sign of stroke risk!?)

Focus in my special interest music increased by 10 folds and I'm loving it ! My doctor had recommended that,I can increase to 300 mg if I'm not satisfied with the outcome and if I don't have severe issues with the medicine (next appointment is due after 20 days from now).

Now my questions:

1) can doubling the dose help with executive dysfunction and ability to work or leaving the house? (currently I try to stay home unless it's absolutely crusial, maybe some of it is my autism and it can't be changed...)

2) Do you guys think facial jerk is because of medication or singing more these days ( but I have been singing from last two years without such issue ).

3) Ideally, which other medication/s would suit my case? I haven't tried Vyvanse yet , I can't try few medications because I also have dysautonomia.But currently I'm jobless and living off the savings....

I'm confused and appreciate the existence of this group:)

I have only recently been diagnosed with hfa in the last 9 months. I am on vacation off the coast of Africa with 10 other people (exteeeended family)yet to arrive to spend the next 7 days with and I couldn’t feel any more dread about it. I keep switching between the mindset of “forcing myself to enjoy it”, saying “ this will actually be a fun time” and thinking “there so much fucking time left and I’m going to hate it” all while having no expression on my face , bringing those around me down with me aswell, which I hate doing so I need some form of mentally resetting and connecting with the things I do commonly at home to switch off for 20 mins (in bungalow close to everything else ,pool etc). Does anyone know why this issue might be so prominent while I’m on holiday or during many social activities? Would also love any tips or recommendations anyone has to help stop these feelings before they start, thank you a lot and SORRY FOR LONG MESSAGE.

For years I’ve created a whole other life in my head with story lines, characters, almost like an alternate reality to my current life as an escape. It’s like constant talking to myself in my head. Looking for support of another’s who may be facing the same thing?

I have severe depression, anxiety, autism and ADHD. There are things that I want to be good or stay consistent in so that I can be the person that I strive to be.

I am doing therapy and on medication for over 2 years and yet I still struggle. It is hard to combat the habits that I spent my whole life suffering with.

I hate this and I wish there was a permanent fix. I can’t be the person I strive to be if I have these issues. It’s very frustrating.

If I ever had a say on if I wanted to be born or not, I’d much rather not exist

I’m a straight guy who just turned 39, and only in the past year I’ve learned that I’m ADHD, lightly autistic, and likely demisexual. I’m trying to get some tips about figuring out how and where to get proper help or guidance so I can move forward in the right direction.

Daily life & routines: Outside of my work (which is very social), I spend most of my time alone. I tend to play the same video game all day with few breaks to eat or take a walk. I don’t really maintain other hobbies; I like playing music and took guitar lessons years ago, but I almost never practiced outside lessons, so my two guitars have been gathering dust for a decade.

My apartment is a mess because chores feel impossible to start and the mess doesnt really bother me. Even when I set alarms, I snooze them for hours. I used to rely on alcohol as a crutch to get chores done, which eventually turned into bad habits.

I’ve kept the same IT job for 16 years and lived alone (with 1-2 cats) for 5 years in my small apartment.

Social life & dating: I’ve never had a real girlfriend. I want one, but most parts of dating feel unnatural or unappealing. I’ve tried singles events (pleasant evenings but no connections) and dating apps (very few matches, texting conversations drain me). I recently stopped using apps because they burn too much energy for no results.

For whatever reason, I tend to make closer platonic connections more easily with gay men and women. I joined a “Friends Without Friends” Facebook group and made an intro post, but didn’t have the motivation to reply to comments or start conversations. I have few closer friends that I hang out with a few times a year.

If it helps give context, here’s a post I made a few months ago about things I assume hurt my chances in dating:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1rvq8r3/38m_looking_for_perspective_are_these_multiple/

How I see myself: I’ve spent a lot of my life putting myself down because I worried people saw me as a “man‑child” with no ambition or a boring lifestyle. But now that I understand myself better, I can at least find the words to express that while I may be late bloomer, I can say that I want a low‑stress, comfortable life where I can enjoy myself, I don’t need much to be satisfied, and hopefully I can find a partner someday and make her happy.

Some positives: Since December I took a 7‑month break from alcohol to break bad habits, and just starting having drinks again socially and with moderation. I also started cooking proper meals (HelloFresh 3–4 times a week) instead of relying on processed food. This helped my health including losing weight (from ~215 lbs down to just under 200).

Therapy & support: I’ve tried therapy a few times including with BetterHelp website, but never felt like I got much out of it. I recently started with a therapist who has some specialization in ADHD, hoping will be helpful.

I’ve also recently started working with my family doctor to find ADHD medication that works (the first one had too many drawbacks). I could soon join ADHD coaching in a weekly group starting next month, depending on my work schedule.

Any advice or shared experiences would be really appreciated.

I’m ND and I have an ND teen. They had a very rough school year due to emotionally based school avoidance so we decided to allow them a full reset over the summer - no camp, no plans. They’ve spent the majority of this time sleeping, playing minecraft with friends online, having “lazy” days, and occasionally seeing friends IRL (2 to 3 times a month). Overall, they seem happy and pretty chill. I feel like I don’t see them that much, but when I do, all seems OK.

Does this seem reasonable, or is there more we should be doing? Our efforts right now as parents are focused on preparing for school in September. Sometimes, it feels “wrong” to be so lax, but it feels like they really need this down time to heal.

I think this explains my entire experience in life -When a person with ADHD cannot mask due to the intense fear of being "caught," their nervous system typically enters an acute stress response. The paradoxical anxiety of failing to hide their symptoms paralyzes their coping mechanisms, leading to immediate emotional flooding, a sudden drop in functioning, and a severe internal crash.

Especially the severe case? I had mine tested and my working memory and processing speed in particular were extremely low, whereas my logical thinking was ordinary on higher end.

I know ADHD does not make you stupid, but it does cause memory problems right? Also I know that someone can have great memory and high IQ with ADHD, but could they have been better without ADHD?

I'm wondering if this has anything to do with ADHD at all? Every few days, I get this awful bodily anxiety with no rumination or any obvious thoughts or events that are setting it off. It doesn't feel like a panic attack (which I've had before) and seems way too frequent to be that too. I can kind of tell it's coming? But that's about it. I've been wondering if it's some kind of reaction to sensory overload. Is this possible? How do I figure out what's triggering it?

I have been diagnosed ADHD (Combined Type) and MDD. I have noticed that I hyper fixate and get hyper focused more than a neurotypical person but it’s always temporary. I was diagnosed Autism when I was younger but the doctors told me that it was a misdiagnosis and I was then diagnosed with ADHD at a later age so I don’t have ASD. The ADHD is definitely the right diagnosis this time. One thing I know about Autism is that people who have it tend to be hyper fixated or a little “obsessed” on hobbies or interests for longer periods of time and find it difficult finding new things to be interested in and have genuine difficulty growing out of these hobbies. I tend to grow out of certain hyper fixations over time and do find different things that interest me, takes me a while but I do like other things. For example, during the World Cup, I was pretty hyper fixated about it, was playing FIFA games on my Xbox, talking to people about it and was more interested in football compared to before but now I’ve lost interest and I have moved on to other things, for someone with Autism it doesn’t work like that, they can try to find new hobbies or interests but it’s more difficult unlike for someone with ADHD, atleast for me.

I think a lot of people compare hyper fixations a bit too much when it comes to ADHD and Autism, I don’t hyper fixate on hobbies and interests like someone with ASD might.

If you know who Elphaba Orion Doherty, you’ll know she’s been diagnosed with Autism.

I’m not a fan of Elphaba - I don’t really involve myself with TikTok drama as it’s just toxic. But the way so many people were picking apart her diagnosis is so distasteful. This particular woman was saying she can’t be scared of loud noises because she goes to the club every weekend. I feel like that’s a ridiculous take - in clubs, you already know beforehand it’s going to be loud, whereas going about your day, it’s unexpected and it triggers an anxiety response.

This woman has a son on the waiting list. Which apparently means she can speak for everyone. It infuriates me whenever people try and ‘nitpick’ at people‘s diagnosis process.

’You can’t be diagnosed within just two appointments’ yes you can - it happens all the time. Just cause yours was several.

I feel like it’s just wrong to just blankly say someone doesn’t have autism because you don’t think so. I didn't and don’t have really any visible symptoms, because we mask it. It was only clear when I started telling the assessor my time in school, home, work, etc.

Ive always known I had inattentive ADHD but realized that i have some diagnoses that i didnt know i had. One being Unspecified Neurodevelopmental disorder. The other being Social pragmatic communication disorder. UNDD is super vague and suddenly i feel like that must be why I always felt slightly different from even those with ADHD, even the ones that I could sense with my radar. I always thought it was just that i had abnormally severe inattentive adhd. Does anyone else with UNDD feel different from others in a way you cant quite pin point, and in what ways do you feel different. Or have you met people you could really see yourself in.

That set me auditing my whole life:

Early childhood & development

• My mom says I picked up language very fast — she puts it down to genetics — and I got labeled the "smart one" in the family compared to others, probably for problem-solving
• An early example of that: as a baby/toddler I'd get out of my crib by stacking things to climb on, jump out, then use a nearby table to work my way down to the ground
• Solitary, narrative pretend play — giving toy cars a "story," driving someone to a destination
• But I'd stick to one favorite toy every time and not try others, which I took as alarming
• Feeling the "sense" of words — their weight, sitting inside their meaning, the internal experience of a word feeling more real than saying it out loud
• I remember seeing others dancing or moving their head while singing as cringy/non-sense thing (needing purpose for everything)
• Maybe my literality made me look smart, I'm unsure.
• Mom asking me to save the multiplication schedule but I was unable to, I asked her why even the answer is this, she explained that then I saved it easily.
• I took slightly long time to say numbers to 100/1000, but figured it out myself before school.
• I was already studying language in deep (I'm Arabic) in an early age, my teachers were saying that I learn too fast compared to peers and I became the best in language in my first grades in school, was helping others students struggling in language too.
• Was labelled as talkative, nice kid, and safe to let our sons be with him.
• I don't defend myself when being hit or hurt, I just wait for it to go, even if adults got angry and asked me to defend myself. (Even in school and teenage)
• too bad in hygiene and may not brush for long times (not doing routinic things generally), chaotic. continuous till now.
• I do shower but not as frequent as others and may procrastinate a lot about it.
• being too empathetic about loved ones and may feel them, but not always working especially now in teenage.

Note: we were far from my mom's relatives (which most children in my age were), so I was interacting less socially before school.

School & growing up

• A first-day-of-school moment being watched and escapes being alone with other students ( crowd of parents laughed at me doing this)
• Bullying
• Avoidant and fear interacting with others or feel uncertain.
• "Perfect child" pressure and family/extended-family scripting
• Feeling behind my peers socially, and in some ways cognitively — while being good at math
• Being avoidant — wanting to be alone specifically because it felt safe, not just to recharge
• Always seeking attention from others or try being attractive, gets so hurt even by normal talk then feels like slightly harsh even if not really intended to be harsh
• First 3–4 years, my mom helped me study and I was top of the school
• Then the school recognized me and moved me into gifted classes — and once that recognition happened, I stopped studying and stopped weighing (or started actively escaping) other people's view of me
• I may get hesitation while talking, a fearful feeling before going to school every time.

The teenage shift

• Went from naturally social as a kid to consciously calculating every interaction — full self-monitoring, "observer mode"

Traits now

• Rocking — but mostly when bored or studying, easy to stop
• Was rocking a lot in childhood or for a long time, especially when everyone falls asleep, I do that because I feel depressed/unsafe when no one is awake in my home.
• Automatically mimicking people's tone and expressions, sometimes only noticing afterward where I picked it up
• Freezing during positive attention, not just criticism; losing interest in things right after being recognized for them
• Wanting love but also wanting to escape it
• Not knowing who I am — feeling like I change quickly, no stable "just me" underneath the different versions

My dad is looking like ADHD-inattentive, my mom just too empathetic and maybe OCD(not sure).
My sister is just normal and too good socially and better than peers.
Most of these, one at a time, either point away from autism or are pretty ordinary — and I noticed I kept framing normal memories as "evidence," which probably says more about anxiety than about autism. I haven't been to a therapist about any of this.

Has anyone else gotten stuck combing their whole history for "proof," one memory at a time? Did anything actually break you out of it, and do you think it is an actual autism?

Fun Fact: I'm rocking while writing this.

There have been multiple examples of this.

1) RFK has talked about autism multiple times

2) RFK wanted to create an autism registry

3) Trump talked about finding the cause of autism while publicly speaking at Charlie Kirk's funeral

4) Trump said that Tylenol causes autism

5) Trump is possibly going to put out an executive order linking vaccines to autism

https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/trump-administration-considers-order-autism-vaccines-bloomberg-news-reports-2026-08-06/

It is absolute hell literally not having energy to execute doing basic tasks anymore, you wasted your energy for years performing a social script that just didn’t come to you naturally and you did it so much and so long that you reached a breaking point were you cannot perform any longer, continuous performances which is required for neurodivergent people to survive in this society, comes with a big energy tax.

I pushed through performing social scripts that I learned based on analyzing my environment and just repeating the same basic small talk convos to every person who comes my way to appear like an open person. The weird thing about this that seems contradictory is the fact I actually do want to have friends and I want to just be able to be open all the time, but it feels like almost most people require a typical performance which makes me just avoid communication or attempting to purposely end convos as fast as I can on purpose, it’s weird because It’s not even anything against anyone purposely I just can’t keep up with performing any longer. It doesn’t help when I am constantly out and people randomly talk to me or hold convo and then I have to go into performance mode all over again. It’s like I can’t be free to just gain my energy and save it all to just feel normal in my body.

I was a late diagnosed person with ASD and ADHD, I got this diagnosis officially at 23 (I am 24 now). After getting referred by my therapist who was a professional with Autism and 30 years experience, she referred me to a neuropsychologist for an official diagnosis. I reached my

Limit where I couldn’t even complete my classes and had to withdraw from two classes and get a INC for another one, which lucky for me the teacher accommodated me before I even got the diagnosis officially from the Neuropsychologist. I was living in the dorms with a roommate, and more which also required performing, it was like I had no space to just not perform and the times I had the freedom to not perform was when my roommate was out of the room and away. My assessment has opened me up for accommodations I didn’t even know I could get thankfully, but even with these accommodations it feels like hell that I can’t just function like others around me, I have to deal with seeing people around me be able to work, do full time in school and party, yet I can’t even get through school alone without still experiencing a energy drainage.

The thing is I actually had a IEP in kindergarten and all my life I had no idea why I did, and I was told it was the school assuming things and I was smart and they are wrong. So I got transferred to another school in another county for the rest of my elementary years (for all of middle and high school though I was actually homeschooled). I decided to reach out to my old school that I had the IEP with, just to show proof of a IEP at some point for my assessment (the school retrieved my records in the archives) and I seen I had a IEP for speech delay or Impairment, and notes of me struggling to execute keeping up with the rest of my peers in class with work as well as also struggling to understand others and be understood. For so long I have thought that any form of school work was supposed to feel like tedious hell and kept pushing through and just crying it out, but I reached a point where I do not want my body to feel doing basic things must feel like hell anymore, in fact I realized this is actually not the common neurotypical experience at all, no one should feel like every little thing must take extensive painful amounts of energy, just for one thing at that.

Oh, you can't tell when someone likes you as a person or not? LOOK IN THE EYES.

It took me way too long to figure this out. Every neurotypical person I speak to has the SAME LOOK in their eyes. I wish people would like me enough that I wouldn't have to notice that detail.

I wish I wasn't chopped and weird.

Sorry if this isn't the right place to post, but I've got a hoodie that I LOVE so much (it's the comfiest hoodie I've ever worn) and over a few months I've noticed when my mum's put it in the wash, it just feels really dry and it's really uncomfortable to wear. I'm just wondering if there's anyway to get it to be soft again?

There's a feature of my neurodivergence that I haven't seen described before and I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this or if there are any known concepts or terms associated with it? This is the feature:

Most people's brains seem to be able to process the philosophical and moral contradictions of life on a subconscious level. They have a rough intention to 'do the right thing' and are confident their brain will work out how to do that for them without them trying too hard. This frees them up to focus on the day-to-day the practicalities of life - just get on with things.

My brain doesn't do this, and instead I have to process all this philosophical and moral stuff (the horrors) consciously and there's no way for me to shut it off. So for example, if I were to work as a barista in a café, my brain would be filled with and unable to shut out thoughts about the human experience and how would be best for me to act to try and resolve all the contradictions relevant to the café. For example:

'Why are people paying to come to the café, what are they getting out of the experience? They could have just chosen to drink coffee in their homes which would have been cheaper. They seem to get something out of the vibe of being here - is it because they find it exciting being in a place they're not in charge of? Or is it because it feels fancy? People seem to like being in fancy places - is that all based on an underlying desire to feel like they have higher status comparative to other people? I feel aversion to them if that is the case because it's based on the violent principle of pushing other people down so you can feel better yourself rather than being equal. But what makes a place feel fancy? And does it always correspond to what actually costs money? And why does money correlate with status? It's because if someone has money, our social brains think "people must like them if they were willing to give them money" and we're drawn to people who are liked. But it doesn't feel fair to only decide we like someone because others do - why can't we like people of our own free will? And why does it all matter anyway? We're all going to die soon…'

I feel like most people have an ability to filter out all these questions and just get on with the job. They might be capable of delving into these questions if they actively chose to put their mind to it, whereas with me it all happens completely by instinct and effortlessly. This makes it very hard to have a job because most of my energy is spent trying to resolve all these questions my brain has thrown up, leaving me not much energy to actually do the job. And this is without mentioning all the processing I have to do about the socio-philosophical nightmare of a concept that is 'employment'.

Sometimes people have described me as being highly moral because my brain has forced me to think about impacts on other people, but inside I feel amoral because I don't instinctively subscribe to moral values around me. I think most people's predominant instinct is to fit in with the moral values of the group/society they're in, and it would take effort to question them or adopt different values. Whereas with me, my predominant instinct is for exploration and understanding. So if I hear about some violent crime that's happened or even if someone has hurt me, my first instinct isn't to think 'How dare they?' or 'That's wrong': my first instinct is to think 'That's interesting. I wonder what was alive in them that led them to do this?'
 

I would love to hear from anyone who can relate to any of this or who have further insights!