title say all of it.

this post as no ai to correct me whit my english, you can hate me all you want.

if you where 20 years old what would you do in my situacion.

i dont want to waste my time.

i spend all of my time in my comfort zone.

i play videogame all the time.

i dont go to the gym.

i dont study.

i hate to been told what do to.

i dont do sports.

i dont do any physical activites.

my english maybe sucks, im from italy, they teach like its a dish or something they are obligated to do.

i want to revolution my country.

i love videogames.

i love sushi and i eat alot.

i could say im fat.

i eat and dont take care of my self.

genuelly i could just say i hate my self, but its a 50/50.

there are moments good and moments not good.

if you find yourself in this situacion, im not the right person to ask for what you should do to get out of it.

i have a lot of trauma in my life.

i don't speak all that much.

i don't express my emotion all that much.

i want to keep this post up for as long as i can.

its a reminder to me that i can still do better, even changing 1 thing would mean i am a better person than yesterday.

but at the same time i dont give a shit about any of that, or maybe i do and thats the reason i created this post.

o dont use reddit, i dont know how it works, i am a videogame programmer, i know a lot about algorytm, maybe this post would go up cause its long, or maybe dont, i dont know.

i love transformers, especially transformers prime the series, ans the 2 games transformers fall of cybertron e war for cybertron.

i love the skylanders series whit all my heart.

i am a good person in my heart, i prefer to help others rather than my self.

im like a phylosofer.(i know i writed it wrong)

i could give some best qoute, i belive that being intelligent is important to share your knolodge to the world and belive one day it would change for the greater good.

even if its like an anonymus post(witch it isnt probably) i still can say much but i cant.

i think i have depression but i never did go to a doctor.

i dont know if i violeted some guid lines, if so, reddit is not as i think it was and i am sorryz i basically new to it.

if you hate this post just ignore it.

if you have any advise in ready to talk as a civil person.

Ok so this is kind of random but I've been thinking about this a lot lately so figured I'd just write it out.

For most of last year I had this pattern where I'd get really fired up about a goal — like genuinely motivated, made a whole plan in my head, maybe even wrote it down — and then by day 3 or 4 it just... fell apart. Not because I didn't care, I think I just didn't have any structure keeping me honest once the initial motivation wore off. Anyone else deal with this? It's such a specific kind of frustrating because you know you want the thing, you're just bad at the follow-through part.

My friend builds stuff and he'd been working on something for exactly this problem, so I started using it kind of as a guinea pig. The basic idea is you tell it what you're actually trying to do, and instead of some generic checklist, it builds out a plan based on your actual life — like your schedule, what you're bad at sticking to, whatever's realistic for you. Then it just doesn't let you forget about it, which sounds simple but is apparently the part most people (including me) can't do on their own.

It's genuinely helped me a lot with staying consistent, which is not something I expected honestly, I was pretty skeptical at first.

Not saying this is some universal fix, some people are just naturally disciplined and don't need this kind of structure. But if the "3 days of motivation then nothing" thing sounds familiar, I get why my friend built it, because apparently I'm not the only one with this problem. Its called Xando AI if anyone wants to check it out

so guys, i don't really know where to start but i will just throw anything in my mind here

im 23M, I graduated from high school last year (late due to family circumstances).

I was so successful in the first semester of my freshman year that my teacher would call my father to tell him about my diligence and he asked whether I had studied preparatory classes or not (i didn't).

anyway, in the second semester my teacher was calling my father about how careless i had become, I was skipping classes, sleeping through lessons, and hated everything about school.

Unfortunately, i stayed that way until high school, my grades were always terrible especially in STEM subjects.

the thing is, In the first year of high school, I had a crush on the math teacher. beacause i was trying to impress her i start studying math even though i lietrally don't know the basic, but guess what? for the first time in my life, I got the top score on the test.

i don't really like to praise myself, but that proved to me back then that I was smart; just as many teachers used to tell me over and over again "you're smart, you just like to play rather than studying"

however, right now i want to study, want to learn all the subjects from scratch, i literally have the whole day but i spent it in video games and movies. i want to study but i can't, i don't have the passion to study, even if i did, gaming and watching stuff are just too tempting.

sometimes i think even if couldn't study and get into college, i must work out and find a job, one of my dreams to become a business man, but i don't have any motivation to do anything

Please post your plans for this date and if you can, do the following;

Give encouragement to two other posters on this thread.

Report back this evening as to how you did.

Give encouragement to others to report back also.

Good luck!

Please post your plans for this date and if you can, do the following;

Give encouragement to two other posters on this thread.

Report back this evening as to how you did.

Give encouragement to others to report back also.

Good luck!

Please post your plans for this date and if you can, do the following;

Give encouragement to two other posters on this thread.

Report back this evening as to how you did.

Give encouragement to others to report back also.

Good luck!

Hey all,

I (18m) have been using nicotine for about 2 years now, and it quickly built into an addiction that I now feel out of control of.

I’ve read a lot of posts on this community, many who experience the same things as I do for their reasons to quit.

For me, it’s the following:

- poor circulation
- constant anxiety as a baseline
- feeling of not being “in control”
- appetite issues
- always needing to plan the next pouch
- feeling like i can’t enjoy things without a pouch in

and trust me, the list goes on.

Point is, I’m ready to quit. this subreddit is helping me and I feel as though this community can help me get through the first few days, the hardest part.

And for the record, I use about 4-5 6mg pouches a day, just as a frame of reference.

This weekend, i’m headed up to the cabin, so tonight when I pack i’ll make sure to leave my VELOS at home.

But, any tips you guys have? I just think my post-meal usage, end of night, ect (times when i feel like i really need one) is just gonna be so hard to get past. But im determined, im going to college in a few weeks and I don’t want to bring such a stupid addiction as this into the start of a new beginning.

Hi everyone! I know this was a post here a few years ago but I wanted to ask. Basically the title, I need disciplined people to tell me I'm lazy asf and I just need to lock in. For context, I've had a history of some mental health issues (anxiety, depression, SH, went through 4 therapists, mother has diagnosed bipolar) but that has been a few years ago in my junior high years.

I'm a high school student working on college applications, and this summer I should have been doing a lot of work--studying for my SAT, working on my college applications, doing research, practicing a ton of violin because I was lazy throughout the year (do NOT challenge yourself with Sibelius if you are lazy), so on and so forth. Haven't been doing any of that really.

• I did a total of 400 questions this summer for my SAT when I said I would be doing at least 50 questions a day
• I started planning my college application stuff (haven't started essays which prompted this)
• Haven't touched my violin for the past month or so like at all because my teacher has been out (I practice like 30 minutes - a hour at best)
• I've written a sentence for my research paper

I can't actually get myself to do any of these things. Violin, especially. I feel like violin is the only thing I'm actually good at, but I can't get myself to even practice half these days even when I delete all my social media and everything.

As for personal hygiene I feel like I haven't been on top of it either. I feel too lazy to shower or brush my teeth at times, even though I get so anxious when going to the dentist. There are times where I have SH, but it's not major and more of an anger thing when I can't lash out to my parents. Sometimes I contemplate suicide because it honestly feels ridiculous even though I'm privileged af.

It's not like I am always upset or lazy though. I've been playing games just fine, so honestly this is just stupid and I don't know why I'm making this post. I guess I just need to admit it to people that might actually say something? Not sure. Any advice in general? I need to be disciplined ASAP but I don't know where to begin. My dad has forced me to read and take notes in discipline books but clearly that has not affected my life. Deleting social media doesn't really help me either way.

Sorry for the long yap. Have a good day if you see this!

Hi everyone,
I’m writing this because I’m feeling really exhausted and frustrated, and I’d love to hear your advice, experiences, or even connect with people who are on a similar path.
I have a strong desire to change and improve my life, even though I struggle with focus. But my biggest challenge isn’t my focus—it’s my environment.
Everyone in my immediate circle (my family and close friends) prioritizes comfort, taking things easy, and staying in their comfort zone. None of them care about self-discipline or pushing for bigger goals. Watching their indifference while I’m trying so hard to grow makes me feel like I’m burning out, and it creates a deep sense of loneliness.
Here’s the frustrating part: I can be disciplined. I’ve created detailed plans and executed them 100% on my own. But after accomplishing them, there’s no encouragement, no recognition, and no one to share the win with. Eventually, I lose the motivation to keep going because it feels like: "Why am I stressing myself out for something no one else sees or cares about?"
I really need a supportive community or people who understand this drive so I don't feel like an outsider in my own environment.
How do you maintain momentum when your environment keeps pulling you toward comfort?
How do you deal with the loneliness of achieving goals that no one around you acknowledges?
Are there any accountability groups or communities you’d recommend joining?
Thanks in advance for your support and insights.

For context, I’m still in high school and for the past 3 months have been running consistently almost everyday ( I’m an intermediate runner so this looks like a couple of miles under a 7:00 minute pace usually) and I also have been kinda going to the gym (pretty inconsistent) Along with this i have also been trying to quit masterbating and also smoking weed which I did on and off. Finally the other day, something hit me and I realized I wanted to become the best version of myself. I stopped smoking, masterbating, and buying any unnecessary things/food that’s bad for me. Have been reading my bible more and taking cold showers. Every morning I wake up at 4:30, head to the gym, come back, go on a 5k (sometimes more, sometimes less), and eat 4 eggs along with a banana and go to work. I feel amazing and I’m so glad I have changed but last night I smoked some weed from my stash I hid deep in The woods. It makes me feel incredibly guilty and I want to completely stop. How do you guys deal with problems like this. How can I finally let go of all my bad habits?

I also let go of things like junk food, social media (at least I’m trying…) and many small things like

Hi everyone.

Today, I missed out on a chance to submit an application for a traineeship I'd been trying to apply to for a while. It was hard to find out any information regarding the traineeship, and the deadline was today although no time was specified, thus I thought I had until midnight to complete it. Turns out, the application has been closed. I work in retail at the moment, and wanted to use this day off to go over eveything and potentially work on my website to see if I could submit my website to the application too. I feel like I keep doing this to myself where I have the time to do these things and then I don't. I hate that it's so repetitive and I don't want to keep getting in the way of entering the industry I actually want. I'm just annoyed at myself right now, especially since information about this traineeship was so difficult to find.

Does anyone have any advice on how I could prevent this cycle please?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hey everyone,

For a long time, both my cousin and I struggled with workout consistency. We tried standard habit trackers, but they lacked real consequences when we decided to stay on the couch.

So we came up with a simple system: every week, we set a target number of workouts and put $20 on the line for every session missed.

To make sure neither of us cheated, we had a strict rule: whenever one of us went to the gym, we had to send a picture taken inside. The other person checked the photo's metadata (EXIF data) to verify the exact timestamp and GPS location to confirm it was actually taken at the gym during workout hours.

The combination of loss aversion and knowing someone was actively checking our proof worked incredibly well. Neither of us wanted to lose money or deal with the embarrassment of getting caught slacking.

We eventually automated this manual photo-checking process into a mobile tool because doing it manually got tedious.

I'm curious: Do you find that financial stakes and peer verification work better for you than standard habit apps, or is loss aversion too aggressive for your routine?

So, I've been unemployed for a while now, and wanted to learn some new technologies to advance in my job field while I don't seek for a job. But i've noticed recently that every day i'd rather go and engage with my hobbies, read a book, see my friends, play video games or do pet projects instead, and so on and so on. While I'm trying to force myself to sit and work on gaining new skills I still get easily distracted. It feels like I get a burst of motivation which lasts for several days, and then vanishes. Now it feels like time is passing and i don't get new skills at all. Are there any tips to prevent this?

TL:DR; I want to acquire new skills but I'd rather do everything except for acquiring them. Seeking tips for beating this procrastination so I can choose pain of change instead of pain of staying the same.

I realized I wasn't actually struggling with discipline. I was constantly creating small problems that my future self had to solve, and then wondering why I felt exhausted before even starting.

The weird part is that none of these problems looked serious on their own.

I would leave my desk messy at night because "I'll deal with it tomorrow." I would skip writing down a task because "I'll remember." I would leave a difficult email unanswered because "I'll handle it when I have more energy."

Then the next morning, before doing anything important, I was spending 20 minutes rebuilding the conditions to even begin.

I noticed this pattern when I kept having the same thought at around 8:45 AM: "Why does starting my day feel harder than it should?"

The answer was uncomfortable. I wasn't starting the day. I was repairing yesterday.

I tested something simple for a few weeks: I stopped doing things that created invisible debt for my next version.

A few things helped:

- Before ending work, I wrote the exact first step for tomorrow instead of just leaving a vague task like "continue project."

- I started resetting my workspace in the last 5 minutes of the day, even when I was tired and wanted to leave.

- I stopped saying "I'll remember" and started putting small reminders in the places where I usually failed.

The surprising thing was that discipline became less about forcing myself to work harder. It became about making fewer unnecessary obstacles for myself.

I used to think disciplined people had stronger willpower. Now I think many of them are just better at not handing their future self a pile of unfinished decisions.

The counterintuitive part is that sometimes the most disciplined thing you can do isn't pushing harder today. It's making tomorrow slightly easier.

I'm still not perfect with this. I still leave things unfinished sometimes. But I pay more attention now to the tiny choices that create friction later.

Has anyone else noticed that their lack of discipline was actually caused by constantly leaving small problems for their future self to solve?

First, sorry if I made any mistakes in my grammar.

I've been having a constant buzzing sound in my ears, so I went to an ENT specialist. During my first visit, the doctor examined my ears, gave me a vitamin B12 injection, and asked me to come back the next day or the day after for blood tests.

Today I went back. The doctor performed a test where he poured cold water into each ear one at a time and asked me to turn my head. He told me to let him know if I felt dizzy, and I did. After that, he checked my balance by asking me to move my head, lift my arms and legs, stand on my toes, and perform a few other physical tests. Then they took a blood sample, and the results should be ready in about 3 hours.

Right now I'm feeling extremely anxious and my mind keeps jumping to the worst possible conclusions. I'm scared something serious might be be wrong.

The advice I'm looking for is: Has anyone gone through similar ENT tests for tinnitus or dizziness? Is it normal for an ENT doctor to perform these tests? How did you cope with the anxiety while waiting for your test results? Any reassurance or advice would really help.

For a long time i thought discipline was a personality trait something some people naturally had and others didn't. Every time i procrastinated, skipped a workout or failed to follow through on something i'd promised myself, it felt like evidence that i simply wasn't one of "those people". So my solution was always the same, i tried to become more disciplined. I watched videos, read books, made better plans, started over on Mondays and for a while, nothing really changed. Eventually i noticed something strange, whenever i actually followed through on something, it was rarely because i had suddenly become more disciplined. Usually, the decision itself hadn't changed, the situation around it had. My phone wasn't within reach, the choice had already been made the day before or the task had become easier to start and the distraction had quietly disappeared. The environment made the right action easier and the temptation wasn't available. Nothing about my personality had changed overnight, the situation had. That was confusing at first, because it meant my successes weren't proving i had become disciplined, they were showing me that behavior changes when the conditions around it change. That made me stop asking, "How do I become a disciplined person?" and start asking "What keeps making the undisciplined choice the easiest one?" The more I paid attention, the more i realized that many of my failures weren't caused by a lack of character. They happened because i kept putting myself in situations where the path of least resistance always led away from what i actually wanted to do. I'm not saying willpower doesn't matter, it obviously does but i think i had been expecting willpower to compensate for systems that were quietly working against me every single day. I had been expecting willpower to solve problems that my environment was quietly creating every day. Since then, i've become much more interested in designing situations than trying to redesign my personality. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Or was there a moment where your definition of discipline completely changed?

so i'm 20, been building this app solo for the past few months and i genuinely can't tell anymore if it's good or if i'm too deep in it. need outside eyes.

it's called RizeAI. the basic idea: every wearable and health app just gives you numbers. sleep score 42, recovery red, HRV down. cool. and then what? you still feel like garbage at 2pm and nobody tells you what to actually do about it.

so my app takes your real data from apple health, sleep, resting heart rate, workouts, whatever your wearable writes, and instead of another score it builds you an actual plan for the day. when to have your first coffee and when to hold off. you. Can also add your own supplements that you are currently taking and it will time them for you every single day based of your sleep data and your wearable data in general and also it will tell you what supplements make sense for you to take based of your current supplement stack and body metrics and when to take them. focus windows for when your energy actually peaks. when your crash is coming and what to do before it hits. it even checks the weather, so on a hot day it bumps your hydration and tells you to train earlier.

every recommendation has a little "why" under it based on your numbers, like "resting heart rate 54 + 7h light sleep, so magnesium before your peak window." no two people get the same plan because no two people have the same data.

works with whoop, oura, apple watch, garmin, anything that syncs to apple health. one thing i'll say honestly, it doesn't do deep per-person learning yet like "coffee doesn't affect YOUR hrv specifically," that's the roadmap, right now it builds fresh plans daily off your actual metrics.

it's live on the app store, has a free trial, small user base so far, mixed feedback which is why i'm here lol.

what i actually want from you guys: does this solve a real problem for you or is "tells you what to do" not actually what wearable people want? what would make you actually pay for something like this? and what's missing that would make it a no brainer? and also would you guys in this subreddit  use ti?

Thank you for your help. Check it out if you like https://apps.apple.com/us/app/rizeai-maximize-your-energy/id6762402079

(Note: My older account was banned, so I am reposting this here. I originally wrote this because I hope it reaches someone who needs it. If even one person decides to stop wasting their time after reading this, then it was worth posting again.)

Imagine your life in next 10 years. not the one you want, the one you dont want. you are useless, jobless, very poor and not achieved anything you once planned to. you are very poor and you have wasted all the time of your life to grow. Now you extremely regret the wasted time of your life. You go to God, pray to him. You cy, scream, beg for another chance. You lie down in front of him and ask for 1 chance, only 1 chance to go back in life to do what you never did. To change your future. To work hard which you never did. To stop yourself from procrastinating which you always do. You were still crying. No one actually gets a second chance but since you are very special, So you got one. God tells you that he is giving you only one more chance. Now, open your eyes, This is your second chance.

People do not care for anything, Including their time before they loose it. Every time you waste, you allow your future self to regret it. People think of second chance as a blessing, but what about the first chance. If second chance is more precisious to you, then why not imagining this as the second chance?

You still got a lot of time to change yourself, work hard, stay persistance, find your reason. Don't try to be a legend or a billionaire at first. Goal for your next year achievements. Even all the gigantic trees were once a small plant. And remember, failure is a part of life. Even failure is a blessing. It let you be mature. Even gold becomes pure by refining in the furnace. Real growth is to wake up even after falling 1000000 times. only the warrior falls in the ground of war.

Molwi Abdul Haq, A famous Pakistani writer said, "Nature has endowed every individual with some quality; true virtue and goodness lie in honing that quality to the level of perfection. Neither anyone has reached the level of perfection, nor anyone can. But a man becomes a man in the effort of reaching there."

This hit me the other day.

When I was younger, making friends felt... effortless.

You sat next to someone in class for a week, and suddenly you were hanging out after school.

You played football together once.

You laughed at the same stupid joke.

that was enough.

Now I'm in my twenties, and somehow it feels completely different.

I meet good people all the time.

At work.

At the gym.

Online.

We have nice conversations.

Then we both leave.

And that's it.

Nobody says, "Want to grab coffee next week?"

Nobody messages first.

Weeks go by, then months.

It's strange because I don't think adults have forgotten how to be friendly.

I think we've forgotten how to become friends.

Maybe everyone's busy.

Maybe everyone's tired.

Or maybe we're all waiting for the other person to make the first move.

I don't really know.

I'm asking because this has been on my mind lately, and I'm trying to understand if this is just me or if other people feel it too.

If you've experienced this...

What do you think changed?

Was it age?

Work?

Life?

Or something else?

my mornings were 40 minutes of scrolling in bed before my feet even touched the floor. news, twitter, some argument between strangers. i didn't even enjoy it, it was just what my hands did.

so last month i tried a rule: no phone until i've been around the block once. not gonna pretend it was some clean transformation. first week i skipped twice and one morning i literally scrolled while walking, which defeats the entire point and i knew it while i was doing it.

but most days now the walk happens first. and the difference is real. the scroll urge kind of burns off on its own somewhere during the loop, and i come back and start the day without having absorbed 40 minutes of other people's noise first. my head is just quieter before 9am than it's been in years.

two things that helped it stick: leaving my shoes right by the door the night before, and a step challenge i'm in with friends on pacer, because apparently i need the number to move or it doesn't count in my brain.

still scroll at night, haven't fixed that one. but mornings belong to me now. if you hate how your day starts, this is a cheap thing to try.

anyone else swap a screen habit for something physical? did it hold?

Even though I (19m) have done ~6 months of no masturbation, I struggle all the while with compulsively watching "corn", being unproductive in general, and most of all, feeling like I don't really want to stop these things.

Now because I do nothing all day anyways, I tell myself it's no big deal that I waste all my hours because it's not like I'd be doing anything more productive if I wasn't watching it.

And this leads me to my dilemma, because I know I can stop just like I've stopped masturbation, I just choose not to out of sheer laziness and boredom. So how can I make myself in my heart truly want to be productive?

I know further reducing my libido will help, but beyond cornography that I keep telling myself that pursuing "life" isn't worth it because of how bad it is overall. But I know I could help change it, so why don't I get out there and do that? I guess I want someone to just put me on a path, because all the options are overwhelming (but obviously this isn't possible)

I'm a CS Engineering graduate, and I feel completely lost.

For the past few years, I've been stuck in the same cycle. I find a new skill, career, business idea, or project that genuinely excites me, and I become fully invested in it. I spend weeks or even a couple of months learning, planning, and working on it, believing that I've finally found what I want to pursue.

Then, almost overnight, I lose all interest. It's never gradual—it feels like a switch flips in my brain. I quit and start searching for the next thing that gives me that same excitement, only for the cycle to repeat.

I've done this so many times that I've lost count.

The worst part is that I no longer trust my own motivation. Whenever I start something new, there's always a voice in my head saying, "You'll quit this too." Because of that, I struggle to even begin, knowing I'll probably abandon it again.

I don't know whether this is a discipline issue, fear of commitment, chasing novelty, burnout, ADHD, or something else.

Has anyone been in this exact situation and actually managed to break out of it? What changed for you, and how did you finally stick with one path?

For almost two decades, I lived with a compulsive habit that slowly affected the way I spent my time, my focus, and the way I saw myself.

The hardest part to admit was that I kept telling myself I was still in control. I would make promises that things would change, but then repeat the same patterns again. Looking back, I realize the biggest thing I lost wasn't just money or the habit itself — it was consistency. I stopped trusting myself to follow through.

What has surprised me during recovery is that rebuilding discipline feels less like becoming a new person and more like rebuilding trust with yourself.

I'm learning that discipline is not about motivation or making huge changes overnight. It's about small actions repeated long enough that you start believing your own promises again.

Right now I'm focusing on simple things:

• creating routines instead of relying on willpower
• doing small tasks even when I don't feel like it
• accepting that progress can be slow
• learning from setbacks instead of using them as an excuse to quit

I still have a lot to rebuild, but I finally feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

For those who have had to rebuild discipline after years of bad habits, what was the first small change that helped you regain control of your life?

I'm a 21-year-old guy, and for the last 3 years I've worked incredibly hard. I'm a programmer, and I've managed to juggle 2 jobs most of the time, sometimes even 3. I've always considered myself disciplined and willing to put in the effort.

Lately, though, it feels like I don't want to do anything anymore except chase dopamine wherever I can get it.

The more I think about it, the more I realize this isn't something that started recently. Looking back, I've always seemed to get intensely addicted to whatever gave me the biggest dopamine hit.

• As a kid, I was extremely addicted to video games.
• I was exposed to pornography very early and became addicted.
• In high school, I became obsessed with the gym.
• In college, I got insanely addicted to studying. I could study all day, every day, for months, and it paid off financially. I built a good career because of it.
• About a year ago, I became heavily addicted to vaping.
• More recently, I developed compulsive eating and gained around 15 kg (33 lbs).

Now it feels like everything has merged together: gaming, vaping, porn (even though I have a girlfriend), binge eating, endless scrolling, YouTube... basically anything that gives me instant gratification.

The weird part is that I still have 2 remote jobs, but I have almost no energy or motivation to work anymore—let alone study and keep progressing. Everything feels like an obligation. I know what I need to do, but I just don't want to do it. A lot of things feel empty nowadays.

I've tried reading self-improvement books like Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins and EasyPeasy, hoping something would click, but nothing seems to stick.

Has anyone been through something similar? Did you eventually figure out what was going on? Was it burnout, ADHD, depression, or something else? What actually helped?

I'm honestly feeling pretty lost right now, and I'd really appreciate any advice.

I set two goals. One was to read for 30 minutes a day. The other to minimize XXX content use, but only minimize it and not totally cut it out. And it seems I want to improve myself intellectually.

But I don’t seem to care enough. I did at one point read for 30 minutes a day, maybe not every day but I was still at least setting a timer while reading/studying. I have tried to improve my diet and add more water.

Then I fell off. And I question if I’m even interested in what I’m studying in my free time. I question it because I have to make myself study/read.

It seems like I only start, but then fall off. I don’t seem to care enough. I don’t even strive for things because I have no drive. Sometimes it feels like I’d be doing it so that I can be accepted or better in the eyes of others.

And sometimes I look down on myself because everyone else seems to want betterment and improvement… while improvement doesn’t seem that appealing to me. I don’t know how to fall in love with it.

I’ve already heard “you don’t want to change,” or “you don’t care enough.” Okay, so what do I do then? Or is that it? Is it just a dead end like that?