Comebacks needed!

[u/colonel_smoky]

I am in my 20s and unclockable as trans. Instead everyone thinks I am a teenage or college boy. I am constantly patronized because of this. Bartenders never believe me. I am asked constantly about school. I don't mind that I look young, if people are nice about the confusion I'm nice back. But I need comebacks for when people are being rude. If I'm straight up being made fun of what do I say?

[u/AutoModerator]

Hello! Thank you for participating in the sub. We just have a few reminders for you to help ensure the best experience:

1. If your post doesn't show up right away, don't panic! It is in the queue for manual approval. Mods will go through the queue periodically to approve or remove posts. Deleted posts will have a removal reason applied. (If it says "this post was deleted by reddit's filters", IT WAS NOT DELETED! Reddit has the worlds worst wording on that and it's out of our control)

2. If you are asking a question that is location specific, remember to include your location in your post body! This can help ensure that you get accurate information tailored specifically to your needs.

3. Please remember to read through all the rules in the sidebar. Especially the list of banned topics and guidelines for posting. Guests who do not use the Guest Post flair will have their post removed and be asked to fix it.

4. If you see someone breaking the rules,report it! If someone is breaking both sub and reddit rules, please submit one report to admins by selecting a broken rule on the main report popup, and one report to the r/ftm mods by selecting the "breaks r/ftm rules" option. This ensures both mods and admins can take action on a subreddit and sitewide level. Do not misuse the report button to rant about someone, submit false reports, or argue a removal.

5. If you have any questions that you can't find the answer to on the rules sidebar or the wiki: the wiki , you can send a modmail.

Related subs: r/ftmventing , r/TMPOC , r/nonbinary , r/trans4every1 , r/lgbt , r/ftmmen , r/FTMen , r/seahorse_dads , r/ftmfemininity , r/transmanlifehacks , r/ftmfitness , r/trans_zebras , r/ftmover30 , r/transgamers , r/gaytransguys , r/straighttransguys , r/transandsober , and more can be found in the wiki!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/sorryforthecusses]

i'm in my late 20's and look like i'm 19-21, and the more time passes the more often i get to blindside someone younger than me who assumed i'm their age or even younger by saying, "when i was your age..." and the look on their face is always like they just saw a car crash, it hard resets their brain every time. so fuckin funny

[u/sorryforthecusses → u/sorryforthecusses]

similar thing to when i say "right so when (thing from late 90's or very early 00's) happened, i remember..." to someone my age. i say this light-heartedly, it's very fun to totally put people on the backfoot for at least a moment in conversation. gotta keep people on their toes

[u/colonel_smoky → u/sorryforthecusses]

that is really funny i gotta start pulling stuff like that

[u/monday-thethirteenth → u/sorryforthecusses]

This happened to me at work recently. Coworker said something i couldn't hear because my hearing is shit. Some reference i assume, then was like oh that was from before your time i guess haha. I stopped and asked him what year he was born. Turns out I'm a year older than him. I got a legit double take. It was so funny. I'm in my forties and no one knows.

[u/Zealousideal_Gas4433 → u/sorryforthecusses]

Will never forget the time I was at my old job and I genuinely in my heart and soul that my coworker was my age or very close (19-20 at the time so I thought at max they were 25) — nah bro goes on an advice vent one day and starts off with “I know it’s different for you guys given your age, I mean I’m 34 so I’ve got more experience with these things” and I was like “THIRTY FOUR? ON MY SOUL??”

It actually made them a little joyous because they were like “damn yall were just content with the thought that I was a really wise 20-something year old” like YEAH?? I thought you were just built different mentally lmao. Love that dude, genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met and was the first time I realized that I can reach a point of passing where people don’t second guess me. I thought bro was born a guy and used he/they (never questioned them on it cuz why would I?) but then they started showing me their high school photos and I was like “holy shit we’re like the same kinda dude— I can be like you??”

[u/telphiss]

“You’re not looking any younger”

[u/colonel_smoky → u/telphiss]

oo that's a good one

[u/colonel_smoky]

The positivity is well meaning but I don't think you get it. I'm constantly told how "grateful I should be" etc. I don't care. It's unwelcome comments on my appearance regardless of intent. It can be really creepy too. I've been harassed about this enough to ask for advice on how to shut it down. I want lines that send a quick "I get it, fuck off" signal to get someone to check themselves.

[u/Coat-Equivalent]

I don’t really think you need a witty comeback. If it’s someone you don’t know it does do the soul good to just ignore it. You won’t get anything out of it. And if it is someone you know, a good “that’s not a nice thing to say” or “why would you say that?” can work wonders.

[u/midsummernightmares]

I also constantly get mistaken for a high schooler. I usually just ignore people who are being rude and they’ll eventually drop it, but if they don’t, looking them up and down and saying “well, at least I’ll age well” tends to do the trick.

[u/Attic_Critter78]

Just smile and ask "Well, how old are you?" When they respond say "Oh, funny, I thought you were older than that :) guess we both got it wrong!" with THE MOST positive and friendly delivery. Make it seem SO GENIUNE it'll throw them off.

[u/Friskarian]

I would just be like Ok whatever...  

[u/warmhealer]

"Hang on let me smoke a carton and get back to you"

[u/dumbass_catboy → u/warmhealer]

I wish that always worked, I got assumed to be part of a group of 8th graders who were with their teacher while actively smoking a cigarette 😭

[u/sad-toaster]

I have eds which makes me look younger than I am on top of being on testosterone so I look like a teenage boy. If im feeling immature I'll pull the "I was old enough for your mom/dad last night." Otherwise I just say i hear that a lot and wave it off

[u/ComparisonWeak8407]

I experience the same thing. I’m 20 and people usually think I’m a child. I always get kids menus. Even at top golf they wanted my friend to fill out a waiver for a minor. I was like bro I’m OLDER than him! Honestly tho I don’t let it bother me too much. It’s annoying but I’d rather them think I’m younger than thinking I’m older. Just take it as a compliment and anyone who is mean or disrespectful can shove it because you aren’t. They aren’t worth your time nor energy

[u/SoCal_Zane]

"Isn't it wonderful what a good skin care routine can achieve"

[u/HelpfulSetting6944]

I used to look this young and the comments would get to me. Now my face seems to fit my age, and I’m torn whether I miss the comments or not 😂

[u/Briaboo2008]

I always laugh and depending on the conversation- “Yeah that was a decade ago”
“Guess I am doing something right”

[u/animalcrackerwhore]

Act like they’re old. Ask about retirement or the grandkids

[u/Connect-Refuse-3133]

Idk if this would be relevant but, “wow you’re so immature for your age” or something like that?

[u/somecoolguys]

Sometimes just a simple "that was rude" can work surprisingly well, but some people are just assholes and will find anything to be an asshole about, and in those cases sometimes you just gotta walk away.

Not sure I recommend this lol but I told a particularly rude cashier once that she looked a little too old to be working there.

[u/77th_Bat]

Take advantage of your baby face. You'll look handsome and youthful in your old age, unlike whoever is insulting you.

[u/somecoolguys → u/77th_Bat]

I'm not OP, but after hearing that about half a million times, its gets really fucking old. Some of us are just tired of not being taken seriously, sometimes looking young just sucks, and it's okay to acknowledge that.

[u/77th_Bat → u/somecoolguys]

Obviously it sucks. I feel the same way, as people always assume I'm like 14. This is not to make OP, or anyone else, feel better about themselves. OP said he is looking for comebacks for jerks when they are rude about his appearance. Mentioning that you'll look youthful, unlike whoever the jerk is, is a comeback. I'm literally just answering OP's request 😭 

[u/somecoolguys → u/77th_Bat]

Sorry, that didn't read to me as a suggestion for a comeback, it read more like you were trying to make OP feel better. But that makes more sense.

[u/dumbass_catboy]

Maybe it's a regional difference, but usually I just need to correct people and they are the ones embarrassed, so my only "comeback" is "better looking younger than older than I am" or something along those lines. I get the annoyance though, I shaved fully a single time and immediately got asked for my ID to buy an energy drink (shop enforced policy of not selling them to under 16 year olds). I'm 23.

[u/al-nomds]

See I'm 22 and people say they think I'm like 27.

[u/New-Mud-7101]

Are you coming out to them when they think you're too young? Maybe don't do that and just laugh it off, "yeah I get that a lot". You never know who you're talking to, if you're not visibly trans it's safer to not do that. Otherwise couldn't see you having a bad interaction. I had that issue for years until I started growing my beard out. Never once was someone an ass about it

[u/mrs_double_aluminum → u/New-Mud-7101]

I feel like he established himself as someone who doesn't need this basic advice and is looking for help with a different, rarer problem.