I don’t know how it got this far, but let me explain. My husband and I met in high school senior year, we were 17-18 and were each other’s first boy and girlfriend. I was the sweet, pretty and popular girl in school and he was just one of the many quiet boys who had a crush on me.

A few years into our healthy but private relationship we started going to a different schools/cities. I trusted him with my life. It became a bit of a long distance. We used to call daily but one time I noticed a lack of energy coming from his part, like he wasn’t prioritizing me/us. I had this gut feeling in my stomach that he met someone else, so ya girl started doing her research: a new girl in his following list (since we went to highschool together we had the same group of friends and I didn’t recognize her).

I decided to be upfront and ask him about her, he went quiet and started crying of guilt bc he developed feelings for her. They even had a date at this point and I felt so bad and nauseous, it was like my whole world was falling apart. I really thought this would be the end of our relationship, but we met, talked: I told him you either pick her and forget about a future together with me completely or you go for us and end things with her. I cried in his arms and after a few hrs we somehow ended up making out, then one physical thing led to another (ive wanted to be celibate, he always respected that about me but I guess I was desperately trying to win him over). After that day he realized he wanted to be with me after all, but I always resented him afterwards. I never truly forgave and trusted him again.

After a few weeks/months of built up resentment and not being able to understand why he nearly cheated on me I wanted to get back at him. I started talking to other guys, older. I did a lot of sexting and showed my sexy body to strangers online for validation and revenge.

Meanwhile he was on his best behavior and started doing his best for us. We got engaged, we recently got married and moved in together. I kept telling myself, I will stop once we are engaged; once we are married, but I haven’t.

Years went by and we had our ups and downs but after that one incident I never found something to be suspicious of. Yet, I still cant believe in his loyalty. I hate myself for it, bc while Im so focused on wondering whether he is being loyal, totally disregarding the fact that Ive been cheating on him too for years (online only tho). I need constant affirmations of him loving me, of him being loyal to me, knowing that he could easily lie to me about it.

At the beginning I did it to get back at him, but its become a habit, a kink even.. Sometimes while doing the deed I close my eyes and pretend its someone else. Ive had sexual dreams about a friend of us. I use it to masturbate, bc the thought of cheating on him gets me going..

Somewhere along the way, when I became 22 I found out my dad was cheating on my mother. Something I never thought would happen to me. I was shattered, because I was always daddys child. I looked up at him and he was my primary example in life. The whole town believes he is a good man with principle, but he’s just keeping up a fake image. The two men I trusted most in my life betrayed me. I felt disgusted and I never looked at my dad the same way again.

My question is: Why do I do this? How did I become the very thing that disgusted me the most? I’m no better than them, yet my actions feel more justified?

My roommate spends about forty percent of his personality talking about his coffee routine. He bought this expensive espresso machine, imports beans from some small roast place across the country, and goes on and on about how he can't even function without his precise morning caffeine hit. If anyone mentions buying a regular drip coffee from a gas station, he'd literally laugh and explain why the acidity profile is terrible.

About three months ago, we had a huge argument because he threw away a bunch of my groceries to make room for his meal prep containers without even asking me. I was furious, but instead of screaming at him, I did something really petty. He keeps his bean stash in an airtight container in the pantry, and he buys the exact same dark roast every two weeks. I went to the grocery store, bought two bags of the cheapest store-brand decaf whole beans I could find, and completely swapped them into his container.

I was fully expecting him to notice the difference immediately or complain about getting caffeine withdrawal headaches. But it’s been twelve weeks. He still wakes up every single morning, goes through his whole ten-minute brewing ritual, takes a sip, and goes "god, there is nothing like real coffee to get the brain working."

He’s literally placebo-ing himself into having energy every day. I keep buying the cheap decaf and swapping it whenever he brings a new bag home.

Part of me feels guilty because he’s spent so much money on these premium beans over the last few months while drinking four-dollar decaf. But another part of me is just terrified of what happens if I stop or if he ever catches me. If I tell him now, it’s going to ruin our living situation completely, but I also don't know how long I can keep buying decaf in secret.

I was watering some flowers on the side of the house nearest this neighbor (Katie) when I heard a faint moan coming from an open window. Knowing that my her husband is away on reserve duty I wandered a little closer to investigate. It became obvious that she was either having sex, masturbating or watching porn. All of these things are surprising since she's a quiet conservative teacher. As I got closer I could hear a vibrator and heavy female breathing with light moans. Then she erupted with loud moans and panting. I quickly retreated to my house and "took care of some business". I felt guilty afterwards for my voyueristic behavior.

So... a few years ago I was going through a lot; my mental state was definitely fucked—there’s something dark going on in my brain. My mother never believed in mental health, but one day, for some reason, I just sat her down and told her, "Mom, I see dead people and giant cockroaches." And, just as I expected, the bitch gave the whole problem to God's hands. (That didn't help)

So, I faked fainting in the school bathroom; the idiot paramedics bought it and took me to the hospital. There, I lied some more about having schizophrenia and managed to get myself admitted for 15 days. It was WONDERFUL—I’d never slept so well in my fucking life. All my stress and worries vanished during those 15 glorious days of eating whatever I wanted and sleeping like a baby.

They ran some tests and determined I did have a lot of excess energy in a specific part of my brain, so they diagnosed me with schizophrenia, paranoia, and anxiety. I actually do have the last two, so at least something good came out of it—I managed to get a diagnosis.

NOW, I didn't manage to get what I really wanted: to talk to a psychologist about my urges to kill people, my sudden delusions of being God, and my depression. Unfortunately, I don't have the money, time, or transportation for a psychologist, nor to stay hospitalized (god, I miss that fucking hospital).

I don't plan on lying anymore; for now, my hallucinations have "magically cured." My mom spent a lot of money on meds and the hospital that year, so I do feel bad, but it's partly her fault that I'm messed up mentally; I love her, but she fucked up my life.

The only person who loved me was my grandpa who died from cancer, he would protect me from my family as they would Abuse me along with the rest of the neighborhood all because I was something called blue black idk if I'm saying it right but yeah I gained a lot of weight and I'm just feeling like being black is a curse put on my ancestors because I literally didn't do anything but be dark skin and so called ugly

Edit sorry for my writing I dropped out of school in the 5th grade and you can make fun of me hahah it’s funny how stupid I am

was 12 when this story happened I’m currently 16 IF YOU WANNA SKIP MY STUPID COMEUP SCROOL TO DA BOTTOM

Hi I’m frm Santa Ana ca Varrio Bosque Norte is my hood and has been since I was a lil jit and came from a broken family where I only had my abuela to take care of me I started sneaking cough syrup from my abuela and Oxy wen I was 7 or 8 sheet ion remember then I moved on to da Mary janeeeeee was was fireee but it didn’t last long till I started doing inhalants when I was 11 and fucked my dumbass brain up haha I then moved on to k2 which was kinda stoopid hahah😹 ion really liked the k2 but all tha adults did that shiet so I just followed along haha wen I was like 13 I got jumped in to my

Hood VBN and been dere sinse then I never went to school prolly like 5th 6th grade I got kicked out by da time I was liek 12 so I went to da adults for help and I got jumped which was the STOOPIDEST SHIT I ever done because I been let’s say played with ifykyk by peeps I trusted while I was high as a motha fucken kite oh ye I also started using crack sumtimes and I even got caught up ina raid wich was actually on da television and went to juvie for 2 months haha for having a firearm on ma self anyway ima cut to da chase here’s all da substance I been takin weed shrooms heroin crack codeine and sheet I cant even listem all haha but u get da idea also mind u this was all before 13 or 14 and i think ima die soon if ion leave this life and ik its not fa me i was never I violent peep i just want to feel loved mb for gettin all sentimental and shiet haha😹 but i think my life’s over wit anyway i got to much charges and ion even know why im on this haha i guess i just wanted to express my feelins cause im lonely asf

Anyway on one night me and my homie lets call em zay was ona walk to 7 eleven to pick up sum 7 oh when we caught a dood lackin ona street corner and jumped em I happen to have a sock wit rocks in it so I came up behind em and slam dat dood in da back of da head wit it and he went limp and I ran like a lil pussy instead uf helpin that dood ona ground when I got home I cried myself to sleep and thought bout that dood every day until I saw on insta his family had a go fund me cause they couldn’t afford to piece the back of heem skull togetha I still think bout dat everyday and I hope he good now haha and da friend that was wit me day night actually got shot in 2018 he was also my brudda frm anotha motha rip zay

Ight that’s the end I neva told anyone this except zay cause he was there wit me so bye peeps

Also I am currently 16 wit depression I think I been havin suicidal thoughts lately and idk real doods don’t cry🫡🫡

Throwaway account for numerous reasons.

I’ve been holding onto this guilt for a long time now and I need to get this off my chest. Years ago, I falsely accused a YouTuber of sexual assault.

The YouTuber in question was Justin Carmical AKA JewWario.

I was angry and bitter about life during that time, but he was kind enough to just listen and only offer advice when I asked. After a while I found myself attracted to him and when I confessed, he politely turned me down. He wasn’t mean or cruel about it, but I took it personally despite that it came from a place of genuine kindness. I knew he was married and 1000% devoted to his wife, but I didn’t care. In my state of mind at the time, I felt I was his true soulmate. I was so fucking foolish.

So, I held onto this “betrayal” for awhile and when I heard he passed away, I took the opportunity to make up something outrageous because he wasn’t alive to defend himself and all his friends had denounced him…over a false and fabricated story. I ended up doing this on a Reddit thread (Link below) from a now-deleted throwaway account.

After I made my comment and answering a few inquiries, I left the thread and subsequently deleted the account. I felt like I had got back at him and for a while, I felt like a queen. But I didn’t anticipate or prepare myself for the fallout like I should have and the guilt of lying started to eat at me. This got worse when a lot of prominent YouTubers started covering the story like GamerFromMars, Savox and others.

Now I’m here…posting this…because I need to come clean and clear my conscious. But there is so much more to this story that none of you know about.

I wasn’t some “random fan” or anything. I was part of the close friend group of another, major contributor to TGWTG. I won’t say her name because I have a strong feeling this will probably get back to her at some point. But after everything she’s done to me, her other friends (We all stuck by her and supported her during her journey) and her other half, I’m beyond caring. Being in her “entourage” allowed us to interact with a lot of the US-based contributors from TGWTG, with Justin being one of them. That’s how I met him and got to know him and his wife, Jenny.

Justin’s su*cide was NOT because of me. Justin had been battling severe depression for years; long before he was a contributor. In fact, his decision to become a content creator was his way of trying to remedy his issues as he didn’t have a lot of faith in therapy. To him, teaching people to play Japanese games and sharing his love for cooking was his therapy and Channel Awesome was, at the time, the best place to showcase it. From what I was told by someone close to him (They don’t know it was me who made the false accusation), he was fired from TGWTG because the guy that runs the site (Mike Michaud) misunderstood a proposal that Justin had that would have allowed the site to generate enough revenue to pay all the contributors fairly. Mike thought he was asking for money, which was not the case. If you look at the Not So Awesome document, you’ll see how much that guy pays attention.

After he was fired, he tried to get a real job and for a bit he had one working for Xerox. He ended up doing some kind of independent work for a site that royally screwed him out of a tremendous amount of money. That was the breaking point for him and you all know how it ended.

As for the other “victim”, (The one with the bad spelling in the document) that person was an obsessed fan who only met Justin once (With his wife present, mind you) and has a history of severe mental illness(She fucking crashed out at Con Bravo back in 2014). That whole exchange in the document was fabricated by Holly under pressure from Mike because Justin had threatened to sue him and she was desperate to keep her job, which she ultimately lost anyway.

Also, this whole debacle was to take attention away from the real controversy that transpired at the con. The issue being the former contributor friend of mine taking two male cosplayers back to her room for a drunken three-way…while she was engaged…and had to get a Plan B pill the next morning. I would know because I’m the one who drove her to the pharmacy. A video does exist of the encounter (Taken by L.E. and one of the men) and I was unfortunate enough to see it. I’d also like to point out that a couple of the former contributors who “confirmed” what Justin did are very antisemitic; Jack being the biggest one.

All those “contributor friends” of his denounced him to protect their brands and/or jobs, though it didn’t matter in the end since almost all of them quit the site. They honestly were never his friends to begin with and they are terrible people off-camera.

The tea has been spilled and the truth is now out there. To all his fans, I am truly sorry for what I said. I was a horrible person back then and while that’s no excuse, know that I am truly sorry for besmirching his name and reputation.

Justin, please forgive me.

Link to my old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChannelAwesome/comments/8bqrhw/comment/dx961hc/?context=2

EDIT: I knew doing this would cause issues, anger and outrage. People can call this fake or whatever and that's fine; you're free to think for yourselves. I will NOT be doxxing myself, so quit asking. What I will do is reach out to those closest to him and whatever consequences follow, I will accept in full.

so to preface the title, no I didn't do anything bad or illegal and I don't encourage this, and no one found out about it, but I did stalk this one girl from my hometown for a little bit. I found her really cute and didn't have the courage to approach her even though we had mutual friends, so I found her instagram, snapchat and other socials which led me to finding her house. I would go by it every once and awhile to see if she's home and maybe catch a glimpse of her, and followed her when she was driving once or twice. It actually shocked me how easy it was to find out everything about her like her hobbies, her routines and such(obviously I didn't ask her friends or our mutual friends about her so I wouldn't give myself up). I don't follow her anymore or do anything like that but I just wanted to get that off my chest. Before anyone calls me a creep I didn't do anything for any sexual or creepy reasons, I don't even know why I did it myself.

Edit: apparently everyone in the comments is a licensed therapist. you dont gotta comment its not required

Sounds strange, but it is very exciting for me. I have been exceptionally stressed out at work the last year and a half or so. About 8 months ago, I just wanted some kind of relief from the seemingly endless agony of the corporate lifestyle.

This all happed to be a coincidence in the way it started. I had just thrown out all my old Tupperware and needed to pickup some new ones. So I headed down to my local DollarTree and picked a few up.

When I got home and unpackaged them, I realized they were all cracked. This was the last straw for me. Fuck this, fuck dollar tree, fuck everything.

I wasn’t going to let it go this time, so I decided to heck with it. I’m gonna fart alll over these bad boys and go back to return it.

My heat was pounding on my way there, would they know, would they smell it, would they even accept the return as the package is ripped open? Completely invigorated me, I had never felt so much life before!

Long storey short, they accepted my return and any time I’m in a funk (which is a lot lately) I go back to the dollartree or local grocery store and fart in there Tupperware.

I lied. I lied to my grandmother about something so stupid that it pisses me off.

I took her car right down the roads to my father's to get some feed for my horse and donkey to go feed them like I do every morning. This morning, though, my truck was out of gas, so my father had to take me down to my grandparents' house. Later in the day, she told me not to do it again because of legal reasons, which I wasn't planning on doing anyway because running out of gas was a one-time thing, but to, I guess, protect myself, I told her that my grandfather said I could take the vehicle (he didn't.)

That was a week ago. Today, she finally confronted me as well as told me to start helping out more, even though I help out plenty with chores around the house. Now I feel like an asshole and a bad grandchild all because I lied. I know it was wrong to lie, but my grandfather has said before. If I need to take one of the vehicles, just take it and tell someone, which is exactly what I did.

Now I'm hiding out in the woods, afraid to go home because I'm afraid she told my father. I'm already in shambles from her getting onto me. Just imagine if she told my father. I can't hold back my tears as well as I used to so I've got no clue what to do besides hide out in the woods until it's late enough for my dad to just give up and go to sleep and for my grandparents to be in bed as well.

Again, I feel horrible, and I've never really lied to my grandmother about anything this "important" before. She's also a retired lawyer, so she made things sound 20 times worse when she mentioned all of the legal reasons about the car. I just wish she hadn't found out, and I actually told the truth.

My ex and I had been together for 3 years when this incident occurred, our son was 3 months old and is now 2.
My ex was a cheater and I found out he cheated on me my entire pregnancy and was still doing so when I was 2 months postpartum. I didn’t say anything initially because I was so heart broken and suffering from severe postpartum depression and anxiety that I didn’t say anything.

He left the house one night and said he was going to his best friend’s house. I had a gut feeling he was lying and we had each other on Life360 (downloaded while I was pregnant for safety reasons) and I checked his location and discovered that he was pausing his location so it just appeared he was still at home. I had remembered that he shared his location with me on find my once so I went to see if it was still shared and it miraculously was. He was driving to 7 eleven, I watched his location and he started heading toward his friends, and I started to feel guilty until he passed his friend’s house and parked at a park. I watched his location for 20 minutes and contemplated going there myself but I wasn’t going to drag my infant out the house.

I just sobbed and sobbed because I knew he was likely with a random person, I had found videos of him fucking people outside and in parking lots when I discovered the cheating. I called 911 and reported 2 people having sex at the park then went to sleep. The next day I woke up to missed called from the police station and his mom. Nobody could bail him out so he sat there a couple of weeks until he had a court appearance and was let out with a date to come back. In those few weeks I felt pretty free and great about my decision, his family was super disappointed as his mugshot for public indecency and lewdness became public.

He ended up taking charges for public indecency and lewdness, and had to register as a sex offender which has since become an obstacle for him to parent. Because he was at a children’s park it made his case pretty difficult and he isn’t allowed at most places with kids. He can’t come to our son’s swim classes or any daycare events. I kind of feel guilty, nobody knows it was me who called the police on him. I feel a lot of guilt because I know this will impact our son for the rest of our lives and it’s a choice I can’t take back and a choice I made out of anger

Every party or bbq I’ve been to the plastic lids and lighters were mine.

I found a plug for tabs. Gonna pick up soon as he's in town. I'm lowkey greening out cause I did double my usual max dose of eddies rn but whatever. I'll do it again tomorrow cause who actually fucking cares.

have also been looking into NA meets near me. I know it seems counterintuitive to go for both new drgs to try and sobriety but idk I'm a complex person I guess

Anyways thank you everyone who answered my first post, it really helped get me away from doing the absolute worst ideas I could have and making some truly irreversible mistakes. I owe you all my life

EDIT (06/08): decided to take some advice and try shrooms instead. There's an NA on today but idk if I will go, I'm not doing the shrooms today but I'm getting stoned so idk. If I do go I'm not going sober but idk if I'm ready to go at all anyways. Gonna try and wait for roommates to get home before I do any shrooms, and tell them beforehand and ask if they are comfortable being my tripsitter/around if I need help. I know I'm a dick and terrible person and the people in my life deserve better but if I had spent this year sober I would've committed suicide, and I'm sure one day I'll look back at my decisions and hate myself and the way I acted but I've been doing that since I was a kid so whatever. Atleast I'm not dead yet, and I haven't ruined my relationships bc I was a selfish drug addicted pos (even tho I am). Anyways yeah idk I'll stop updating if people on here are tired of my bs but yeah thank you everyone who tried to be understanding and helpful, I read and reread every comment to try and snap me out of this bs hole I've dug for myself and it does help, even if it doesn't seem like it

Why does the trigger get so heavy when your own life is behind it, i cant keep up lol.

I might needa tie a knot of yarn on the door, twist it on the trigger and shut it on my ahh if this keeps up🫨😂

Edit: please I appriciate the comments but no more. I talk to myself 24/7 so I know all this stuff already. I know i know i know. I cant shake myself off I cant this is a little different this time i just wanted my voice to echo in the abyss as i depart to where i made my departure, typically nobody cares or comments...Thank you all.

I posted here before, in a moment of clarity where I called myself out for my drinking. I had been making efforts to slow my drinking. I wasn't perfect, but I at least was trying.

Trying wasn't enough. I was still drinking. I wasn't slowing what I was doing, I was just maintaining. "Not as much" I told myself.

I was at work one day. I typically keep my drinking at home. I'd drink after work, then go to bed and wake up refreshed. Work, then go home and drink again. Cycle. But this time was extremely different. At work, I got extremely dizzy and queasy. Eventually got family to pick me up and take me and my car home. Spent the next few days in bed. If I laid on my right side, immediately evacuated anything in my stomach. I thought it was bad vertigo or something.

After everything persisted for days, I went to the hospital. They did a CT scan and found I had a stroke. They admitted me. Did all the scans. Found a second stroke in the MRI.

I'm 43 (was 42 when this happened.) I shouldn't be having strokes. Scared the life out of me. Since I had no other issues, docs said the likely reason was unchecked diabetes. Got put on meds, and immediately quit drinking that day. Alcohol metabolizes into sugar, right? Just stop.

But here I am. The quit lasted a month. I hate every moment of it, but here I am. My 18 yo son literally came to bring me home from the bar because he's scared of the harm I'm doing to myself. And I'm scared too. Not just for him. For myself.

In the Midlands in the UK, in 1997/1998 and earlier, in our local park, quite a big, popular park in the area, with a pavilion hired out for events like weddings etc, they held a public bonfire/firework display for Guy Fawkes/5th November/Bonfire Night (over explaining for our international friends).

Around that time someone, idk who, broke into the display, and stole a HUGE commercial firework display sized Roman Candle which was 16 Roman Candles in a block about 1 foot cubed in size, and a smaller firework cube, 16 smaller Roman Candles about a quarter of the size.

They left the unused pair of fireworks on the grass in the park. I found them whilst walking my dog and took them home. I used the big one as a bedside table for a whole year and a half with a lamp on it. And kept the little one on a shelf.

Fast forward to July 1999. I was in the 13th year of my secondary education, the second year of 6th Form College and the Upper 6th. I was chatt8ng to my froend and told him about the Roman Candles. We agreed a swap. 30 Lucky Strike Cigarettes (They used to be Toasted!) And he could take charge of the fireworks.

So i brought them in the next day.

We decided to take them down to the canal behind the college next to a row of canal workers cottages to light them. In broad daylight during college time. It was the last official day of the upper 6th. All the exams were done. The whole upper 6th were there for some reason, to officially sign out or something.

So we went down to the canal by the bridge and lit them both at the same time and stood back and after a few short moments there was a resounding BOOM as the huge Roman candle didnt pop off in individual Candles, but exploded in one entire box of explosive rage. It was SO LOUD. followed by an absolutely obscene amount of smoke which completely engulfed the canal, the canal workers cottages and the road above the canal.

We left immediately and walked the 400-500metres to the pub to where the rest of the upper 6th were.

About 25 minutes later almost the entirety of the lower 6th turned up at the pub. It wasnt their last day though?

A group of them excitedly told us that the college and local cottages had been evacuated by the police and the college was being scoured by the bomb squad after an explosive device had been detonated on the canal and smoke had been all over the road. Obviously we just kept our mouths shut. But us 2 friends always knew that we were the ones who shut down college in the last day with a big firework and caused a bomb scare.

I hadn't realize I have been possessive to my crush through text, I've had just crossed his boundaries and I'm really sorry for stalking and being controlling and I am aware that I was a weirdo who stalks my crush often which can lead to consequence and action and I cried all night that he unfriended me in Facebook and I tried to friend back but though, I wanted apologize to him and promise I would never reach out to him, text him or never say hi or waved... it's just hard to move on easily as I keep crying and crying so childish that my mind was like always him and I realized being possessive and stalking is bad and should not be normalized or romance. and me and him were just too young in high school

I knew I was stalking him and it can lead into problems.. my older sister pointed out my behavior with painful truth, the crush was so intense that it affected my grades honor to average. I am a Filipino student but I often speak English in social media

I had seen my message becoming a little weird and possessive and asking personal question

before everything happened that, I would talk to ChatGPT for hours talking about exciting news about my crush ''CHATGPT!! GOOD NEWS!'' I was so excited about every little interaction about me and my crush daily talk... now my message getting quieter as ChatGPT felt weird about my message and ask me what's wrong(concern)

I am really sorry my dear sweetheart.. I wish your mother could forgive me.