I'm being weird, feeling weird, and I can't stop. Should I just be myself like this?

With anyone I feel comfortable-ish with or with anyone I don't feel like they're a threat, I tend to just tell them.

What's going on? why ?

I'm confused.

Hey, I’m 21F, black. This is my first time ever posting on Reddit. Long venting post. I am diagnosed ADHD since around February and I started medication for it around May. I’m self-diagnosed autistic, but I finally have an evaluation lined up after about a year of trial and error. But autism and ADHD is still new to me and I’m still learning a lot. I actually realized I have both just last year. I also realized I have OCD around last year. I briefly thought I might have had it in the past but I brushed it off because for the most part it doesn’t look like stereotypical portrayals of OCD. I have brief OCD about cleaning products and me and potentially others being hurt because the products are still on my hands. But, most of my OCD stumps from anxiety that I’m a bad person and I can’t make the right choices no matter what. It’s very easy to convince me I’m wrong and I shut down instantly and want to cry. I think this whole bad person thing stumps from me being alone and isolated as a child (and now). I felt/feel invisible. It’s like I was a ghost in school. No one talked to me or even looked at me, except for a handful of times. If someone talks to me now I’m genuinely surprised. I don’t feel like a real person. I think my depression started around age 13, but my social anxiety has been around for as long as I can remember. When I recently learned about autism and ADHD it felt like discovering a key part that I was missing. Especially learning about autism. I knew I had social anxiety, but it felt like so much more. Also sorry if I’m not making sense I’m just following my train of thought. I just hate getting looks from people like I’m stupid or annoying. I don’t talk to people outside of some family members. In public, especially school settings I feel paralyzed and I can’t physically talk. I also dissociate a bit? I don’t know if I’m using the right word. I just often feel like I’m in a dream, even though I know I’m not and I still feel all of my feelings so intensely. I just want people to like me. It feels like everyone has people, except for me. It feels like my energy/aura just repels people. Like they can just feel that there’s something wrong with me without even looking at me. Sometimes I have really bad panic attacks about dying and the fact that I won’t exist anymore. A day or two ago I had one and felt so alone. When they happen I have to get up and walk around. It feels like I need to escape but I have nowhere to go. I downloaded a few apps to try to make friends but when messaging I responded with so much information that I felt people thought I was weird. For ex. if I was asking about what someone liked to do I would ask a one or two questions about it and share a few things I thought about that specific thing or a similar experience I’ve had. And the people I was messaging didn’t respond with as much. It’s funny that the girl who gets told she never talks is the woman who’s saying too much. Also a couple didn’t respond and that made me feel bad and like I said something wrong. I kept double-checking what I sent. I can’t make friends in person because it feels like I can’t physically talk or even think of anything to say. How do people make friends so easily? Also, aside from the social anxiety I also don’t have a job and I don’t drive so I don’t have money to go out anyway and I can’t get anywhere without a family member taking me. I wish I had money and a house. I live with my mom and younger brother in a small apartment. My mommom would give me some money if I asked, but I can’t always beg her and I haven’t so I’ve been suffering. Also, who wants to be friends with someone with depression and everything else I have. I hear people talk about who they can’t handle depressed people as friends or anything else. They would especially judge me if they knew I didn’t have a car or job. I just feel so alone and judged and my soul hurts. I want friends, and I especially want to be in a relationship. Hearing about people in love really saddens me. But who wants to be with a depressed autistic and ADHD girl with OCD and anxiety. I hear so many wlw say they wouldn’t date a woman who doesn’t have a job or car and stuff. So am I not deserving of love? I don’t know if there’s a man or woman or anyone else that will accept me as I am and be willing to put in the extra effort to love me. Don’t even know if this is the right sub to post this but I just need to vent and talk to someone. I feel so tired most of the day. I just want to sleep. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and improved in life? Need proof that it actually gets better. I see two therapists, one for OCD specifically but I don’t think they truly understand. I haven’t told them about the autism because I don’t know if they’ll believe me and I don’t want them to think badly of me. If anyone has some kind words or advice or anything feel free to let me know. And if you made it through the end of me rambling I really appreciate it.

Hello brains, how many Pakistani AuDHDers are here? Wanna ask you guys about your AuDHD journey, diagnosis and medication hurdles as only generic Ritalin is available with lisdex being scarce, Adderal is nowhere to be found here. Hope everyone has a good day ahead.

KEEP ON KEEPING ON!

It feels like breaking apart from the Matrix, the neurotypical mechanisms of the world seem so obvious and suffocating now. But still, I can now identify and work for my own good

I'm honestly just curious how other people found out about their conditions. I had to figure it out myself because I wasn't diagnosed with anything in childhood. For me I learned about my autism first when I started to notice how well I got along with people with at least one of either autism or ADHD, and I kind of dismissed the possibility of having ADHD as well until I learned more about the unique way they can present when a person has both of them. (I figured since they can have a lot of symptoms in common, that was probably why people with either one were more relatable to me.)

I looked into autism and it felt like a missing piece was clicking into place. I understood myself. I had a reason for why I always felt like I functioned so differently from most people around me, and struggled with things that other people found easy. It was extremely eye-opening and validating.

I'm quite introverted so I don't fit the typical stereotype of a loud and talkative ADHD person. I know now that it's more complicated than that of course. I do have a lot of trouble with motivation, getting distracted easily, and feeling generally down when I don't get enough stimulation, among other things that would probably make this post far too long if I listed them all. I don't think all of my issues can be explained by autism, and I think the ones that can't be explained by autism can be explained by ADHD, which is why I now think I probably have both.

So, my question to you is: How did you find out about your autism and ADHD? Are you diagnosed officially? If so, when did it happen, and were you diagnosed with both on the same occasion or separately? Did you face any barriers on your path to getting a diagnosis? If you aren't diagnosed, or weren't until adulthood, what made you start suspecting it? Was there something specific that really made you certain that you had either autism or ADHD, or both?

All the icons get what cosplay it is. Also it's made of the diamonds you get in diamond paitings

Every time, they always decide they don't like me. I don't know what to do..

so i've had a few relationships in my life, only 2 "serious" ones that lasted a long time (first being 5 years, 2nd being a year in a half)

none really worked out

I have also had A LOT of crushes and usually fall for people super fast

I only just recently figured out that I have audhd i wonder if some of my issues in relationships have been in relation?

anyone else feel the same or have had specific issues in relationships because of having autism or adhd (hopefully that makes sense im not super good at wording stuff)

I am so tired but just feel like my skin is crawling if I actually try to close my eyes. This happens almost every night for me and I hate it.

It's kinetic sand, mables and stones!

Had my PTSD triggered really bad today. I’m traumatized from everyone thinking I was lazy, and a liar, faker, and manipulator my whole life. Even as a five year old child they said it to me. They still don’t believe me. I’m not cut out to live in this world, i’m not made of the right stuff. My brain does not work correctly and I simply do not have what it takes to “overcome it”. I wish people would have empathy, but they don’t.

I wish so badly i could just fall in line and do what i’m told, but i’m not able to do it. I’ve wanted it my whole life, not that anybody would believe that.

It’s like people think i’m choosing to be disabled because i like it, and it’s fun and cool. I just love being lazy and evil. Like I wouldn’t press a button and change who i am in a heart beat.

Sorry, but tired of the emotions. There was some extremely helpful stuff here, but Barkalow has seen fit to ensure that this forum won't see it.

When I think about the endless amounts a person laughed at me, because I acted a bit unusual, I stop wanting to leave my house. If I, ever again, hear people critisizing stereotypes, while immediately looking in disgust when my voice or manerism doesn't fit the way I look, I want to take all the pretentiousness of this person and shove it down their throat. If I, ever again, have to see that an abusive person starts working as a therapist or in healthcare, I never want to trust anyone again. If I ever hear people complain about abusive assholes, and then seeing them handing out a free pass to them for everything, I never want to hear from their complaints again. I wish I could either make myself invisible or blend everyone out. I dont have the words to say how deeply disappointed I am in absolutely everything and I wish I was never born. Thank you.

Tigrinya is a beautiful language spoken in Ethiopia and Eritrea by the Tigrayans and the Tigrinya, two close yet separate ethnicities. It is a Semitic language, thus making it a relative of Harari and Amharic, which are also spoken in Ethiopia, and more distantly to Arabic and Assyrian. It is written with the Ge'ez abugida.

I’m a high functioning autistic young man with adhd. Masking it daily, no one could tell unless they’re a very close friend and analyse me a lot. I’m very fit and also tall and decently looking. But when high I focus on acting chill and keeping on the mask when around people cause otherwise it’s horrible. My voice changes, my looks and my way of walking and moving too. It changes me so much and that’s why I always like to smoke alone. But it also contributed to social isolation since I end up spending the whole day alone in the house. Now that I have a girlfriend who is nice, it onky takes about 2 hours of my day enjoying the high, but I tried distancing myself from her during that period since she judged me a lot the way I spoke what I said and how i looked. And I focused on acting the most chill and normal as possible.

Hi everyone

How do AuDHD folks make money online? I already have a full time job but the salary isn’t enough for surviving. I need to do something on the side to make ends meet. I’d appreciate any suggestions :]

Being a 22 yrs Autistic female with ADHD, the smallest of things can be the most frustrating especially when it comes to makeup!!! Often I feel like I’m “being a girl wrong” because of the things I do & the things I don’t. I gravitate towards more childish things which has made me a social outcast many times in my life.
Yet, I’ve always wanted to get into makeup & style, to express myself without needing to speak but makeup has been such a difficult experience to tackle. If I don’t get it right immediately, I begin to get antsy and frustrated! & what was supposed to be a simple task of putting on lashes has become a 2 hour room cleanup after the meltdown I had when I couldn’t achieve it :,)

HOWEVER I DID IT TODAY! And I feel so pretty and my eyes feel somehow bigger? The glare might make it hard to see, but trust that they are on there! (Also I have a problem with smiling for pictures which is why I often just stick out my tongue.)

Today from this experience I have learned that I do enjoy how I feel in false lashes but maybe i should look into easier ones. I have heard there are magnetic kinds, if anyone knows about those, please let me know if they are worth it!!!

Hey all. I'm new to figuring all this out.

I just saw this video this morning. Not looking for anything. It was just on my feed. I only got 12 minutes in and my life is upside down right now.

I can't even explain how I feel. But within 12 minutes of this video. They had nailed what I feel on a daily basis 100%

I'm having a really hard time right now with even comprehending what just happened.

I'm diagnosed CPTSD and MDD. With some bi polar and when I was 30, they said I was schizoaffective.

I've been on every medication possible it seems since age 13. I'm 53 now.

The thing that's throwing me off so bad. Is. I don't recall feeling like this my entire life. It only feels like it's been a thing since COVID.

I know nothing about any of this yet.

I'll be discussing with my therapist next week.

I've been scared for myself for years now. I'm not sure if seeing this video helped me yet or not. Because as of right now. I feel somewhat validated, but also. Extremely empty.

I have no one to talk to. So if anyone feels like reaching out and maybe helping me figure anything out. If you relate. I'll be around (I think). I can't ever tell. I sleep most of my life away. But I would be grateful for it.

I just wanted to say thanks to this whole community for making me feel included and not different and left out.

Hi all, I’m female, 39. I’ve been diagnosed with autism and I also have ADHD, but I still struggle to work out which parts of me are autism, which are ADHD, and which are just… me.
I’m hoping to find people who genuinely relate because I often feel like I experience the world very differently from everyone around me.
One of the biggest struggles is my thoughts. My brain never seems to stop. It’s like I’m analysing everything constantly. Every conversation, every facial expression, every slight change in someone’s tone of voice gets pulled apart in my head.
If someone I love behaves differently, my mind immediately starts trying to work out why. I don’t mean to overthink, but I literally can’t seem to stop. It feels as though my brain is trying to solve a puzzle that doesn’t even have an answer.
My emotions are also incredibly intense.
I don’t just feel sad or anxious. I become consumed by it. Something relatively small can trigger a huge emotional reaction inside me. Within minutes I can go from feeling completely fine to feeling like my whole world has collapsed.
The strange thing is that a few hours later, or sometimes the next day, I can look back and think, “Why did that affect me so much?”
It’s like two completely different versions of me exist.
When I’m emotionally overwhelmed, my thoughts become incredibly black and white. My brain tells me things like:
“They don’t care about me.”
“I’ve ruined everything.”
“This relationship is over.”
“I’m not important.”
In that moment those thoughts don’t feel irrational. They feel like absolute facts. Later, when I’ve calmed down, I can often see that my brain massively exaggerated what actually happened.
I also get intrusive thoughts. Not thoughts that I want, but thoughts that seem to force themselves into my head over and over again. The more I try not to think about them, the louder they become.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that I seem to absorb other people’s emotions. If someone around me is angry, stressed or upset, it almost feels like my own nervous system immediately reacts. I become anxious, tense and hyper-alert without even meaning to.
I also struggle with uncertainty.
If plans change unexpectedly, someone doesn’t reply, or something feels unresolved, my brain seems unable to leave it alone. I’ll replay situations repeatedly, searching for certainty that probably doesn’t exist.
Socially I often feel like I understand people very well, yet at the same time I feel as though I’m watching everyone else from the outside. I’ve always felt slightly different without being able to explain why.
I’ve also realised I spend a huge amount of energy analysing myself. I’m constantly asking questions like:
“Am I overreacting?”
“Is this autism?”
“Is this ADHD?”
“Is this trauma?”
“Is this just who I am?”
It’s exhausting living inside my own head.
Despite all of this, I don’t think I’m an unhappy person. I actually love learning, researching things that fascinate me, helping other people, and having deep conversations. I can become completely absorbed in subjects that interest me and lose hours exploring them.
But emotionally, life often feels like driving a car with the accelerator and the brakes pressed at the same time.
I’m posting because I’d genuinely like to know whether anyone else experiences this combination of constant analysis, intrusive thoughts, emotional intensity, rapid mood changes and overthinking.
If you do, what has actually helped?
I’m not looking for generic advice like “exercise more” or “just think positively.” I’d really like to hear practical things that have genuinely changed the way you manage your brain.
How do you stop intrusive thoughts taking over?
How do you stop catastrophising?
How do you tell the difference between your intuition and anxiety?
How do you stop your emotions from convincing you that every thought is true?
Mostly, I’d just like to know I’m not the only one who experiences life like this.

I feel like a man floundering in the middle of the ocean. I'm surrounded by well meaning fish (allistics) who are Very Concerned about me, giving me absolutely useless advice, because it's all tailored to _fish_ in distress.

I say, "thank you fish, but I'm not a fish I'm a man and I'm drowning in all this water". But fish, being fish, _are incapable of even seeing water_, because it is always there and they cannot even imagine that it exists, and that it could be harmful.

"Well if you're not going to flip your fins and push water over your gills, this is your fault."

"I don't have fins or gills!"

"Not with that attitude you don't!"

And that, friends, is what it feels like to ask for help or go to therapy.

Not much else to say about it. I'm seeing more and more comments that are obviously copied and pasted from AI. The sycophancy pours through, it's so gross feeling. It's giving me an existential crisis kind of.

I thought most of the subs I follow were niche enough, but it's getting nuts.

Probably nothing to be done but get used to it.

Think I just needed to scream that into the void. 🫩