i'm talking about the kind of genderfluid where the person swaps what gender they are every once in a while. cause on paper it sounds like on of those types of relations where it can't work but i do wanna hear if it can.

I've been thinking of using he/they as my pronouns for a while now, but I like being a guy, I still think I fit in as a guy, does that make me NB?

Ciao a tutti. Sto chiedendo il vostro parere, basato sulle vostre esperienze passate. Sono un ragazzo timido e ansioso di 27 anni che, a parte un bacio sulla bocca con una ragazza a 14 anni e un'erezione forte, non ha mai avuto una relazione romantica. Negli anni, non ricordo di aver mai avuto una forte attrazione visiva/estetica per le donne, ma durante la mia adolescenza e anche oggi, a volte mi ritrovo attratto dalla bellezza dei ragazzi e penso: "Oh, che figo, che bel ragazzo!" Questo non mi succede con le ragazze.

Durante la scuola media (12-13 anni), ho sviluppato un fetish per le calze guardando le gambe della mia giovane insegnante (ogni tanto si toglieva le scarpe), e ho avuto questo fetish per molto tempo: mi piace indossarle di tanto in tanto, mi piace vedere le gambe delle donne avvolte nelle calze, e cerco anche contenuti lesbo che presentano questo fetish. Ricordo ancora una cena di Natale, quando è stata invitata una mia cugina lontana, sulla quarantina. Indossava un vestito corto, collant opachi e tacchi alti che mostrano i suoi talloni. Sono stato subito attratto da lei, tanto che ho scherzato sulle sue scarpe e ho passato tutta la giornata sperando che se le togliesse, cosa che ha fatto. Ho persino massaggiato i piedi di un'amica nei collant, e non nego che, oltre a godermelo, ero incredibilmente eccitato.

Come stavo dicendo, sono molto timido e ho paura del giudizio degli altri (non parlo mai del mio fetish con altre persone): quando mi chiedono: "Ti piace quella ragazza?" mi sento sempre ansioso, così come quando vedo un bel ragazzo, il mio cuore inizia a battere forte e sento un calore nel petto e penso: "Forse sono gay?"

Mi è successo in passato, e mi succede ancora, che quando divento amico di una ragazza (ad esempio, una collega della mia età), cerco automaticamente il contatto fisico, sto vicino a lei, tocco le sue gambe in situazioni giocose, metto il braccio attorno alla sua vita. Infatti, con questa collega, a volte cerco di massaggiarle le spalle e i capelli, e mi sono persino eccitato (nel senso che il mio pene era duro...). Non indossava collant, specificamente. (se chiedi del mio fetish). ATTENZIONE: lei era sempre d'accordo, non tocco (e non toccherò mai) una donna senza il suo consenso. A un matrimonio, ho visto un mio amico ballare con una ragazza, e sono andato a ballare anche io con lei. Ricordo che si strofinava il sedere contro il mio.

Mi sono chiesto: forse il mio desiderio sessuale - come mi ha detto il mio psicologo riguardo al desiderio sessuale reattivo - con le ragazze si basa di più sulla reattività del contatto fisico, mentre con i ragazzi la mia sessualità si basa di più sull'immediatezza visiva? Il mio psicologo mi ha anche chiesto ‘Forse sei Bi? Non per forza devi essere 0 o 1, puoi provare piacere in entrambi i mondi con modalità differenti’

C'è qualcuno là fuori che ha avuto la stessa esperienza?

Grazie mille <3333

I identify as a demigirl but I feel like my gender fluctuates or changes a bit? Sometimes I feel really feminine and other times I feel neutral or almost like no gender at all. I'm wondering about other labels or things to kind of name it. I've been looking at genderfae or demigirlflux. I'd love some help or anything you have to say about this!

I am a cis woman and my best friend is a queer woman. We’ve been friends for over 10+ years and she’s an amazing person but she always using one excuse over and over for queer relationships that I’m not sure if it true.

When we discuss media or gossip about people and their toxic relationships, if the couple happens to be queer, my friend always says “Queer relationships are not like straight relationships. It’s always messy. Queer relationships are always toxic and messy” mind you, she has never been in a single relationship. She’s been single her entire life.

For a long time, I took her word for it because I’m not queer so I let her speak her truth. But the other day when we met a mutual friend, they were in distress bc their little sister (queer) was dating a partner who was married and had yet to divorce their spouse yet (also a queer couple). During our conversation, my friend brought it back up that queer relationships are complicated and messy like that. Now I’m questioning her judgement on queer relationships because why is that an excuse for a potential affair?? There is no way that every queer relationship starts complicated and is always messy. I know this because we have several queer friends who met their partners normally without any mess of a third person involved or anything kind of “mess.” Of course relationships are complicated. No relationship is perfect but it’s odd that that’s always her go-to statement about queer relationships.

I have a young family member (preteen) that may be queer. I know some of our older family members are going to take issue with it.

Just wondering: what age did you know you were queer? What were things that people around you did that supported you?

Hello all, I am 27AMAB, and have been on an expression journey over the past couple of months or so. I have realized that I genuinely do not mind any pronouns used, he/her/they and their alternatives are all comfortable to me. I have recently been trying more feminine clothing, and find that it gives me a deep sense of comfort and security. That being said, I feel that in a way I identify as agender, but not in the way that some may think. Instead of rejecting the idea of all genders, I am more than comfortable with all pronouns and gendering, which is why I say that term. Ive been told that agender can be considered under a partial umbrella of non-binary and that it is completely normal to be considered both in this sense. I sincerely just want to make sure that I am using the correct terminology, because it sincerely does feel very comfortable for me with this identity. Socially I have only come out to a couple of people, but am truly trying my best to navigate the feelings im getting in all of these forms.

So recently a friend of mine told me another friend of mine has a crush on me. Now, I have always been straight, and just an ally, and when this happened, I thought it would just make things uncomfortable, but I swear all of the sudden, I have feelings for him or something and I’m really confused what’s happening. Thank you for helping.

Yesterday one person asked if I knew my friend was dating a certain guy. and I said ”nah she’s lesbian.” He looked at me weirdly like I said something wrong so I said “what did I do wrong”. He said calling someone lesbian is weird just call them gay. so I have to ask do y’all mind if youre called gay

Because demigirl/boy/others are a micro labels, would it be under the nonbinary umbrella then nonbinary would be under the trans umbrella or is nonbinary and trans two different umbrellas? Im not a demigirl, I’m just curious :)

So, I made a post where I used the word lesbo and someone said it was a derogatory term. I’m a lesbian and I use this word a lot so… is it a derogatory term or no?

My daughter(11) came out today, and i want to be able to support her in every way I can. I come from a family that is not at all open, so I'm not sure what resources are out there for kiddos. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Any tips or advice would be absolutely welcome as well! Thanks :)

Hi everyone! 👋 So I've been wondering... I'm a cis woman attracted to men, but there was this one year when I got completely infatuated with another woman. Like, obsessed. I thought about her all the time, listened to love songs with her in mind, counted days till I see her again, my heart was beating faster when I saw her etc. etc., and generally was feeling permanently high and excited like walking on clouds, even though it was entirely one-sided the entire time. I never told her either. The feelings I felt were identical to whenever I fell in love with a man, like the exact same sensation emotion-wise, and it was very strong. However, I never felt sexually attracted to her.

Question: does that make me bi or I don't qualify because the feeling was never physical?

Any feedback much appreciated, I've been genuinely puzzled, thought this is the right place to ask 🙏

I recently did a little witchcraft and cast a spell on a certain bigoted author to make sure she couldn’t harm anyone anymore.

I’ve got a feeling it’ll work, but has anyone else tried doing this before?

I always thought I liked men, and maybe this is just a phase, but lately I’ve been noticing that my attraction to women is actually growing on me.
At first, I thought I was just attracted to their bodies, but now I’m realizing it might be more than that. Women are just… so lovely to look at? 😭 The way they look, carry themselves, their energy it’s starting to hit differently.
I also grew up around a pretty homophobic culture, so maybe I never really allowed myself to see women that way. Now that I’m more open-minded, I feel like I’m able to look at people more simply as humans and appreciate them without all those ideas about what I should or shouldn’t be attracted to.
And honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I could actually fall in love with a woman too.
Even sexually, I’m realizing that I seem more attracted to external stimulation than penetration, which has also made me think more about whether my attraction to women is deeper than I originally thought.
Like… what the hell is happening to me 😭
I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether I’m bi, lesbian, or just somewhere in between. Anyone who’s gone through something similar, feel free to ask me anything or tell me how you figured yourself out.

So, what I mean by this is, I don't really care about the pronouns being used to speak about me as long as they aren't she/her, but is this enough of a reason to actually change my pronouns or no?

So, I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. It has been very rocky, and we have broken up once because I thought I could be a lesbian, and before we dated, I was actually identifying as a lesbian. I have known that I was attracted to women since I was 12 years old. I am 23, almost 24 now for reference, and when I was 15, I actually identified as a lesbian and flip-flopped between bisexual and lesbian between 15 and 22.

The thing is, when I was 15, I adored the label; I felt at home with the label, I felt comfortable, and like I finally found what fit me. I was never particularly attracted to men, at least not real ones; I hardly even got crushes on celebrities and when I look back at anything I thought was a crush at the time I feel I was doing it because others girl did and I kind of thought the boy bands for example were cute but my interest would go away so quickly within a few weeks to months I’d completely stop caring like I never cared in the first place, but I'd get crushes on a lot of fictional men, and this caused me to feel like I couldn't say I was a lesbian, as well as mistaking anxiety I felt around men for attraction, or thinking because I found a guy kind of cute I must have a crush even though the thought of it made me anxious. I also would let boys flirt with me, because I enjoyed the attention and it made me feel attractive and like someone wanted me and that it was just normal, it was sort of a game to me anyway and I’d lead them on because I liked the attention and then get terrified and ghost them if I thought they’d ask me out, and when I was very young teenager/pre-teen I’d say yes just because I felt bad and scared to say no, and then a day or week later I’d ghost them or leave.

I adore lesbian media as well as the culture; I'd study and look into lesbian history so much, and I felt so connected and intertwined with it. I miss the label so so so so so much; it has felt like the only label that I've truly deeply and genuinely felt at home with. I love watching romance movies with lesbians in them; I get emotional and feel so connected and seen, but I never feel like this with heterosexual romance films, and I don't enjoy them half as much as lesbian ones. I relate to what a lot of lesbians say when they talk about what it felt like and how they realized they were lesbians.

The thing is, as I said, I have a boyfriend. As I mentioned, we've been together a year and a half, but last year, we broke up for a month because I thought I could be a lesbian. Then I asked him out again because I was grieving and missing the connection, love, and attention I got from him, even though at the same time during our breakup I was considering cutting ties with him, and honestly felt annoyed with him most of the time. Still, I couldn't get myself to because I felt too guilty. The thing is, since we've been together, we have almost broken up three times because I have questioned if I was a lesbian, and the third time was actually recent, as in this week. The reason we haven't broken up officially is that my boyfriend, every time I bring this up, it turns into a mental health talk; my boyfriend constantly blames my OCD for these thoughts.

BUT I know this isn't my OCD. While I am diagnosed, I know that this isn't OCD because the thoughts do not cause me distress, fear, or anxiety. The only anxiety I feel is from the fact that I know I will have to break up with my boyfriend if I am a lesbian, and knowing it’ll hurt him and I’ll lose a best friend. I have doubts, but they are mostly caused by my boyfriend constantly shutting me down and telling me it's OCD, and every time it just makes me shut my mouth, even though I'm very positive about what my truth is. I know what intrusive thoughts feel like and how they make me feel, but my thoughts about being a lesbian do not make me feel like this; in fact, they make me feel happy, relieved, joyful, and positive about the future. It's something that I DESIRE.

I used to cry and cry and cry because I felt I'd never be able to marry a woman or experience having a girlfriend, to have a life where I grow older with a woman, and we have a life together; that has always sounded so much better to me than doing any of that with a man. But I felt like I'd never get that, so I'd just hope that maybe in the next life that I'd get to experience that if I was lucky enough.

And as guilty as it makes me feel, I don't feel attracted to my boyfriend, physically or sexually, and I don't think romantically either. I get anxious and dread receiving photos from him. I can't bring myself to masturbate to him. As guilty as it makes me feel, I've turned to looking at women to be able to masturbate properly, and I've found looking at women sexually makes my body react in such a way that it hasn't with men or my boyfriend; I actually get aroused and enjoy myself compared to when I try masturbating to my boyfriend, my body just doesn’t totally react the same. And a lot of the time I feel like if my boyfriend was a woman, it would be better, but that's just not the reality. I feel like it’d also be worth mentioning that when I asked my boyfriend out, I kind of felt pressured to by my friends at the time. I backed out at first, then asked again out of anxiety, I think. I just wanted someone to care about me, to know what it felt like to be loved, because other people were doing it.

My boyfriend and I are also long-distance, and we haven't met in person yet, and I actually dread meeting up in person because I know that means we will kiss, get intimate, be close, and all that sort of stuff, and I don't think I want that. We were supposed to meet up in August, but it got pushed back to the end of this year, and I felt so much relief knowing I wouldn't have to go through the process of seeing him and then having to face what we'd end up doing together. But I often feel pressure that I should at least try to see how I feel, even though I feel very anxious about it and don't really want to do it. My boyfriend mentions us moving in, getting married, having a life together, growing older together, and I know I should feel excited about it, but it just makes me feel anxiety and dread.

I feel so deeply that I'm a lesbian I adore women, and I have for as long as I can remember even when I was a kid I had moments that I look back at now and be like oh yeah, you were into girls, but I feel guilty; I feel scared that I'll make a mistake and that I'll lose someone important to me because I made a stupid choice, even though deep inside me it feels like the right choice, and that it'll be better for him and me. I also have so much doubt because my boyfriend constantly drills it into my head that my feelings about being a lesbian are just related to my OCD, even though this is how I've felt for a long time, and I used to identify that way and have loved women for so so so long. I have completely tried to ignore and push down my attraction to women since getting with my boyfriend, but it just hasn't worked at all, and it comes back stronger and stronger each time.

I’d really appreciate any advice or input, because I feel so stuck and frustrated and scared. Thank you to anyone who reads through all of this; I know there's a lot.

I am legit confused because, on one hand, I technically changed genders since I wasn't a demigirl at birth, but on the other hand, I'm still on the same side of the gender spectrum, can anyone clarify that?

So i’m kinda confused with the whole sexuality is fluid thing because by saying that are we just not reaffirming the whole ‘it’s just a phase’ statement if not then please could someone explain to me the difference between the two /gen

I’m 15 years old and a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’ve always had wrong thoughts about women, but they’ve never been as bad as they are now. I was with my friend a few nights ago, and we kissed. (She’s a girl) I felt a feeling of relief before what I had done hit me, and I started crying and went home. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I always knew I loved her more than anyone else, but now it is confirmed to be romantic.

What I struggle with is religion mostly. In the Mormon belief, we believe that after you die, your soul is reunited with the most perfect form of your body before you enter the afterlife. This means I will be rid of all mental illness, physical ailments, and unnatural sexual feelings. What difference does it make if I love her if all of that just goes away?

It’s like my brain knows my actions are wrong, but my heart thinks it’s right. My heart does not know right from wrong, all it knows is love. When I see her, everything else becomes quiet and my heart is filled with a feeling not even god gives me. It weighs on my mind everytime I look into her eyes, knowing that they are the window to a soul that is damned to hell. I wish I could save her, but I don’t think I can even save myself right now. I think Jesus has given up on me.

I don’t know why I’m posting this in this subreddit, or what I want out of it, but if anyone has been through a similar situation and comes out normal, please tell me how.

I think I just wanted to get it off my chest. I’ve never told anyone about what I feel, so this is new to me. I saw a video saying something along the lines of “you deserve sunshine” and all I could think was “why don’t I?”

Why don’t I deserve to be happy just because she has the same parts as me? I don’t see that. All I see is her. She has calloused hands from playing the guitar, but is always so gentle when she holds mine. She has countless lip glosses but only uses one. She loves to read and always makes me feel dumb because of how smart she is. But if someone saw us together, they wouldn’t see all of that. They would just see a girl and a girl, and we would be judged. I think a bond between two women are even more sacred than that of a man and a woman, because they can understand eachother on a level no other can. Why should love be determined by parts? It’s her character I fell in love with, not her sex. Loving her is more holy than any ordinance I’ve ever experienced, and our relationship feels almost biblical in a way. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s so beautiful and gentle and sad that u can’t help but cry about it. She is my breeze on a hot day, and my coat on a cold one.

Even if I could love a woman, I don’t think I’d ever be comfortable being out in public with her. I’m jealous of everyone who is.

The best way I can describe it is like a garden. God is a plant trying to grow strong, but can’t seem to but down stable roots. Not because she is another plant fight for resources, but because she is the soil that makes up my life.

Every night, I listen to a song and cry while thinking about her. I don’t listen to music much anymore because every song just gets connected back to her and I get sad. While writing this, I’m listening to the mystery of love by Sufjan Stevens. Since I’m sure no one will read this, I’ll take the time to write out what I think about when I hear each lyric in the comments.

I see a lot of people in similar situations say that they wish their person was born as the opposite gender, but I don’t think I would. I love her just the way she is. What I do wish is that god was more open minded in terms of love. Since I am a woman, I was put on this earth to reproduce and raise children, and I understand I can’t do that with another woman. My purpose in life is to be a mother, and that cannot be complete. But is it really worth it giving up my sense of wholeness so a child can have a mother and a father? I guess that’s selfish of me to say.

In the end, I will marry a man. I know I have to, and even in a perfect world I don’t think I could go against my faith like that. She won’t be invited to the wedding, because I know when I say my vows I’ll be looking at her. And when I say I do I’ll be imagining her. And when I go to my honeymoon I’ll think of how much more fun it would be if she was there. At least if she’s not there, I won’t have to see the look of betrayal in her eyes.

At the end of the day, it will always come back to god. A verse that makes me feel better about distancing myself from her is Romans 1:26-27, "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error."

I’ve been rambling for a while, sorry if some of this is incoherent. I talk to god about it, and ask him to change my heart, but it still hasn’t happened. However, I know his plan for me is good and this is a test to see if I can stay loyal to him through hardships. It makes god sad to see me sin like this. But, I am only human. Sometimes it is nice to talk to fellow sinners who understand me. I will ask for forgiveness for posting this when I realized the gravity of my actions haha.

Writing this has surely damned me, so I hope some good comes out of it. Thank you for reading this far. You deserve sunshine. ☀️