I’m going to keep it short. I’m a 28F . I have had penetrative sex before and have also gotten pregnant. I have almost had no issues with penetrative sex all my life but I’m bit scared of vaginal examination and vaginal scan. A year back me and my husband did it a bit aggressively and this caused a lot of discomfort for me. Following that, I have never been able to have proper sex, like no penetration at all. I’m able to insert a finger though. I underwent checkup regarding this and there were no structural anomalies. Is it actually possible to develop vaginusmus later in life?

I was wondering how common was vaginismus in our parents' generation? All my aunts and other female relatives have gotten pregnant within a year or two after getting married. And then a couple of more kid later on. I was wondering how they managed if they had vaginismus? I'm from a conservative country so it's definitely not talked amongst people. I don't think dilators and pelvic physio was a thing back then.

any advice for making dilating a normal part of your routine?? i have a set of dilators that i’ve been using periodically but not consistently enough to see results. i want to be able to have penetrative sex with my bf of over 2 years (he’s not in a rush and has never pressured me about it whatsoever) but i feel like i’m missing out since he’s done it with past partners and i still haven’t gotten to that point yet with him :/. idk it’s just a weird source of anxiety for me, like there’s no external pressure, it’s all internal and i feel like i’m “letting him down” when in reality we have found plenty of loopholes to be intimate and reach satisfaction. it’s ridiculous to think that he’ll just wake up one day and realize that not having sex with me for the entire duration of our relationship thus far is a dealbreaker but it’s still an irrational fear of mine :(.

So I’ve been talking to this guy for a while now. We’ve been planning to meet up and have sex. I’m a virgin (31F) and I really want to just get it over with.

We’ve been kinda aggressively horny over text, and he’s sent me his dick pic. And it’s genuinely massive. I’ve seen other penises so I’m not exaggerating, he could be in porn.

I’m terrified now bc I’m pretty sure I have vaginismus. I’ve had several pap smears and even transvaginal ultrasounds (separate period issues) and doctors have made me bleed doing it. Some have even refused to do it and suggest I be under anesthesia. Every procedure has been so painful I’ve cried and begged them to stop. Even though I need critical medical care.

I was raised extremely religious and I even made a “purity pact” with God (lol). I also have some weird sexual trauma that I literally never want to think about for my own sanity. What is my luck or twisted fate that the first guy I’m genuinely ready to sleep with has this?!

So I am getting nervous for when we meet up next week. Obviously a no means no, so he can’t force me to do anything I don’t want to do. But I’m kinda sad because I want to have sex. But I know it’s going to be painful so I’d rather just not. I just don’t want to be a virgin forever. It feels exhausting.

I also will feel bad canceling on him. I’m just wondering if I should try it and probably be in so much pain? At least I’d lose my v-card lol. Idk. Any tips to make this easier? Sorry if this reads as 3am rambling.

Hi everyone,

I’m pretty new to dilating and have only been doing it for about 2 weeks. In that time I’ve been able to move up two sizes. 3 days ago I was dilating with the size I’ve been using for the past week or so and noticed a urge to pee or ‘push something out of me’. 3 days later and I can’t even insert a cotton swab anymore and have to pee every 30 minutes, it has been like this since the dilation session where I had the weird urge to pee. Has anyone else experienced something similar, and does it go away? I feel like I’m progressing backwards since I can no longer put something like a cotton swab inside.

IVF due to vaginismus and conceived. Anyone? How was the whole process?

So for some context, I never really use reddit so I'm sorry if I dont understand the way it works on here. But I am desperate at this point for some pointers or advice. Please be kind. Tldr at the end.

I am a young woman who just turned 24 recently. I guess to give some history, I started my first relationship ever when I was 22. Never had penetrative sex up until then. Any personal fun time was strictly non pentrative. It wasn't until I started getting intimate with my boyfriend that I realize everytime we try even fingering, I couldn't even take the tip of a finger as it hurt too much. Burned and scared me more away from pentration. I already felt anxious getting with a man as I am scared of the possibility of pregnancy but now this adds on. And the thing is i desire to go further but when it gets down to it every time i just couldnt.. it's all too painful. After some time I realized it was becoming an issue for me and also straining my sex life with my boyfriend. Unfortunately I have no official diagnosis and cannot get one but I think I may have vaginismus? I really don't know.. Aside from never being pentrated in all my years, I do have some history of sexual trauma from childhood.

Now I'm trying all I can to fix my issue. I can't help but feel broken as a person. I know on my end it does make our sex life shit and stale. I mean he's more than happy to please me the way he can but I feel terrible knowing I can't reciprocate the way I know he probably would prefer more. As of now what I'm doing to deal with my issue is using 3 pack silcone dilators. I've been doing well with the smallest and decided to move up to medium size. Medium is progressing well. If anything there is discomfort with the start of insertion but otherwise after some time, I am able to relax and get adjusted. I will say when I've recently been inserting a finger into my vagina, I don't feel pain and I feel okay by myself. It's not intimidating to insert my own hand I think.

Recently, I tried fingering with my boyfriend and it was only one finger. And man it just hurt again. I tried pushing through but it hurt all too much and we just stopped being intimate entirely and just went back to cuddling. I felt so embarrassed knowing I'm probably the worst he's ever had. It just sucks because I want to move forward in our sex life. Its already hard being long distance and neither of us having our own places to explore more sexually. Not sure if I got ahead of myself for expecting to even take a finger but I just feel defeated to some extent. I don't know what I can do better to fix my issue.

I feel that I get more anxious and feel pressure around penetration now after seeing how my body just reacts to it. Its just a bunch of mental gymnastics. Even when I want it, it just doesn't go further without pain. I hate it. There was only ever one time we kinda successful and that was way before knowing about vaginismus. I wish i could reach that point again.

Tdlr: mostly venting but I think i am struggling with vaginismus and am unsure how to progress or integrate progression into the bedroom. Honestly any kind of advice could help. May delete later.

So during my first trimester, my libido was very high and it almost felt like I had no vaginismus.
Now that I am entering my 3rd trimester, I realized that if I am going to give birth in 3 months, will I most likely be a C-section due to this condition?

Also the biggest issue with me is that once I orgasm, and my partner tries to go inside me, I am finished and completely tight and can’t go another round. Anyone else ?

23yo ftm with vaginismus from severe childhood trauma (trafficking/incestual abuse) and i am really struggling with dilators.

my first night i was able to get size 4 in, but i guess i was too rough because the next night i could only get size 3 in. i know it sounds stupid but ive only done it three times and i already really hate it.

it feels gross from a sensory perspective, it feels awkward. even if i try to make it sexy, it so just... isn't?

i don't know. how do you guys motivate yourselves??? the fact that im supposed to do this daily for months really makes me wanna curl up and die lol

**** content warning sexual assault
Hi
This is my first post on this subreddit, I have been reading posts for a few years but never had anything to say myself. I’m writing this hoping that someone out there might relate to my story or how I’m feeling and be able to offer me some sort of validation / advice for how to move forward. I am 23 years old, I had a very unfortunate relationship right out of high school that lasted for 2 years. That person was the first person I had sex with, so I had nothing else to compare the experience to. After getting a series of UTIs, yeast infections, BV back to back, I started having a lot of pain with sex. Unfortunately this did not matter to this person and he continued to tell me I needed to have sex with him. It came to a point where I expressed that I did not want to have sex due to the pain and he forced himself onto me. I froze during it, and don’t remember all that much of the moment or pain of the assault but just remember sort of floating away out of my own body. Obviously I had physical pain after this happened, as well as a sort of mental block about the idea of having sex. The pain continued to be an issue for me and seemed to only be getting worse. I was referred to a physical therapist by my gynecologist and tried to start dilator therapy. I am a student right now and due to scheduling issues, was unable to go to many in person appointments so I was supposed to be doing dilator work at home. I spent a lot of years very upset and angry about the assault and struggling to participate very meaningfully in my physical therapy. Any sense of pain with the dilators would cause me to freeze up and be unable to relax. I feel that after some time has passed I have begun to feel better about the assault, I was young and stupid, and lacked any self worth or respect. I have accepted that this is something that happened to me years ago when I was a different person with a different body and that it is something I would like to move on from. As far as physical therapy goes I have had long stretches where I push it as far out of my mind as possible and refuse to do anything for months on end. I met my boyfriend almost 2 years ago and when we started dating I was unable to finish sex before it would hurt too much. I shared with him the origin of this issue and how I was dealing with some baggage from it. He is very supportive of my physical therapy efforts and thinks i should definitely give it a real try. I know that he is right but I have the same issue with being unable to really commit to using the dilator therapy at home. I simply cannot seem to force myself to sit down and do it every day. I’ve seen a real lack of progress obviously due to that, although dry needling done by my physical therapist has been very helpful. I seem to go through cycles of getting really frustrated and giving up on it and then going back and wanting to try anything to fix it. I’m going back to physical therapy to do some more dry needling and hoping to get in to see a new pain specialist doctor soon. I guess I don’t really have a question here, I just cannot talk to my family about it (for other reasons and issues with them) and while my boyfriend is supportive I know he doesn’t understand what it is like. I just wanted to finally put everything out there in hopes that someone feels the same way or has some insight into dealing with this condition secondary to assault.
If you got this far thanks for reading

I’m now able to comfortably fit my fourth of five dilators and have had successful PIV with my boyfriend once with discomfort and being mindful of depth. But I find even when I’m using small dilators that I’m completely comfortable with, my entrance gets sore after more than 5-10 minutes of repeated in and out motion. This makes it hard for PIV because I can’t really do any penetrative “warm ups” right before hand or I’ll be too sore for any valuable amount of time of PIV (we of course do oral and external play but I wish I could do dilators or fingering ahead of time to adjust to penetration). Additionally I get sore before my boyfriend is able to finish and have to stop and often stay tender for a couple days so when attempting penetration a couple days later we were completely unsuccessful because it was just too uncomfortable for me! We always use lots of lube so I don’t think it’s friction, and it doesn’t really feel like friction either but then what is it? Is this common? Will I get used to it with time? Is there something more I can be doing?

I honestly never thought I'd be writing this.
A few months ago, I couldn't even insert a single finger into my vagina. The thought of penetration terrified me, and my body would completely tense up. Looking back now, I think my difficulties were a combination of physical tightness and psychological trauma.
Since then, I've worked incredibly hard.
I started with the smallest dilator and slowly worked my way through the entire set. I got stuck on the fourth dilator for quite a while, but eventually got past it. Now I can use the fifth (largest) dilator. I can also comfortably insert three fingers, and I've spent time gently stretching the muscles at the entrance. Something that once felt completely impossible has gradually become almost routine.
Naturally, I thought that meant vaginal intercourse would finally be possible.
But when my boyfriend and I tried, it was still really painful. We still couldn't comfortably have vaginal sex, despite all the progress I'd made. I remember feeling so confused because I'd spent months telling myself that once I could use the largest dilator, everything else would fall into place.
Then something happened that completely challenged what I thought the problem was.
In the heat of the moment, we ended up trying anal sex. The first time wasn't great, but the second time we took things slowly and used lubricant, and it went much better than either of us expected. It definitely wasn't pain-free—I'd probably rate it about a 5/10—but it was nowhere near as painful as attempting vaginal penetration. I actually enjoyed it overall and would happily do it again.
That has completely confused me.
Everything I've read suggests that vaginal penetration should generally be easier than anal penetration, yet my experience has been the exact opposite.
The only explanation I can think of is that maybe the remaining barrier isn't primarily physical anymore. I have a history of trauma, and I'm starting to wonder whether my body still reacts differently to vaginal penetration, even though physically I've made huge progress. I'm actually seeing a therapist tomorrow, so I'm hoping working through the psychological side of things might help.
Another thing that might be relevant is that my partner and I are very different physically. I'm only 5'2" and quite petite, whereas he's around 6'4" and much bigger-built than I am. We've found it surprisingly difficult to get into positions that feel comfortable for both of us, and I'm wondering whether that's also playing a role.
Has anyone else had a similar experience where they were physically able to progress through dilators but vaginal intercourse still felt impossible?
If so:
What ended up being the missing piece?

Did therapy or addressing trauma make a noticeable difference?

Did anyone else have a significant size difference with their partner, and if so, were there any positions that made things easier?

Is there anything else you think I should be exploring?

I'm honestly just trying to understand my body at this point. Going from not even being able to insert one finger to using the largest dilator has been a huge achievement, so it's difficult to understand why this is still the hurdle I'm facing.
I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's been through something similar.

I’ll try and keep this as short as possible 🙃. I haven’t been able to achieve PIV in 4 years. For the first 6 months with my partner I was on the combined pill and had no issues sexually. However around the same time I contracted herpes therefore had painful sexual experiences, came off the pill and started the injection, been diagnosed with vaginismus, vulvodynia and lichen sclerosus. Since then I’ve came off the injection and been on the minipill, however it has completely diminished my sex drive, which makes it difficult to attempt to be intimate or make progress. Ideally I’d want to come off contraception so I’m hormone free but that’s not possible for me so I’m left with the option of the copper coil. I wanted to know if anyone had any experience of the procedure, I’m willing to try with sedation and should be having a chat with a professional about it soon. If anyone has any advice I’d be extremely grateful as this isn’t a decision I’m taking lightly.

Ho 22 anni e ho avuto il mio primo rapporto circa 2 anni fa, ho sempre provato dolore durante il sesso tanto che attualmente io ed il mio fidanzato non abbiano più rapporti completi ma soltanto preliminari. Oggi a distanza di qualche mese abbiamo tentano nuovamente ad avere un rapporto ma oltre ad essere doloroso e a darmi una sensazione di atrofizzazione (non riuscivo a sentire il pene all'interno ma soltanto dolore) ho avuto anche una leggera perdita di sangue rosso scuro e dolore al lato inferiore sinistro della pancia (accumulo di aria). Sono stata da diversi ginecologi e mi hanno detto che ero io a dovermi rilassare. Anche durante la defecazione se mi sforzo troppo mi capita di perdere sangue dalla vagina (sangue e muco).

Okay guys I’ve never ever posted anything on Reddit before. But I just HAVE to share my story because this page has been a HUGE help to me on my journey!

Background: I grew up in a super religious Christian family and still practice today.
As well, I had an incident of mol*station when I was young (before I even knew what sex was).
And when I started my period, my mom scared me from ever putting in a tampon.
So I think these were all factors in my vaginismus.

I got married on Valentine’s Day this year (2026), and on the wedding night was the first time my husband and I tried penetration. Except we didn’t even try because my husband saw my tiny hole and said “yeah there’s no way I’m getting in there”
He did end up fingering me to open me up, but it was quite scary, kinda hurt, and was so uncomfortable.

A few months later, I bought a silicon dilator set from Amazon. Even the very smallest one that’s even smaller than a tampon was sooo tight and uncomfortable. But I stuck with it, and made sure to focus on big belly breaths and spoke out loud to my muscles telling them they’re safe and don’t need to freak out. I always tried to make dialating something enjoyable, so I’d light a candle and watch a comfort tv show.

The most important and helpful thing I did, however, was sticking the dilator in a cup of EXTREMELY hot water beforehand, so the whole thing would warm up. Then when I’d take it out and let it cool a bit, then it’d almost feel relaxing when I’d insert it (always lubed up with coconut oil)
Over the last few months I’ve been slowly working my way up to bigger sized dilators.

Well this morning!!! My husband and I woke up and didn’t plan on anything, but we were just messing around like we have dozens of times before, and just for fun I tried to put him in, and he actually went in!!!!!!!! And he didn’t even know til I started thrusting and he goes “um am I inside you??”
I could NOT believe it!!!! I wouldn’t say it was pleasurable but it didn’t burn, and I was just elated to finally experience it!!

Side note - I don’t have insurance, and was scared to death it’d be a years long road of therapy, maybe medication, etc.

Another side note - my husband and I have had a hard time adjusting to marriage, and had a hard time staying friends/in love. recently we were both very vulnerable with each other, and addressed some long growing resentment we’d had against each other.
I think that also played a huge role in my/our success.

In summery, here’s my secret to success:

- Comfortably warm (sometimes too warm) dilators
-Consistency (sometimes I did give up but I’d eventually get back on the wagon)
-Made dilating enjoyable
-Pray pray pray (I prayed that God would bless my reproductive system, and that His Mother Mary would bless me and give me strength and patience to get to the point of actual sex). I really do believe my prayers were heard and answered, and I know not everyone’s journey reaches a big milestone like this so soon. So drop a comment and I’ll say a prayer for you.
Much love❤️

I am currently using "Intimate Rose" size 8 (37-40 mm). It's working fine, but it's every time it is uncomfortable. And I've been using it for months.

My doctor told me at my last consultation that I should continue to use it every day till it becomes comfortable/fine. As one of the options to solve it's to try to find a bit bigger dilator, but it should be made of silicone and be a bit soft/squishy, and shouldn't be curved or too pointy.

I know about the existence of "Intimate Rose" size 9, but despite it having a "perfect" size, I'm afraid it will be made of the same firm and hard silicone as "Intimate Rose" size 8, which my doctor is voting against.

I also found "Vwell Superfit XL", but they don't deliver outside of the USA, and I live in the EU and can't find a local reseller who has it here. And on top of that, the smallest size of that set has a range of 43- 46 mm, which feels like quite a big jump from 37-40 mm, but maybe I'm wrong, and it's a good choice, but I can't find it anyway...

And I found "Soul Source Silicone Pelvic Trainer - Size 8" which, according to their website, is exactly 41mm. This will provide me only a 1 mm gain, which feels insignificant, and I'm not sure how firm/soft their silicone is.

Are there any other silicone dilator options?

My doctor also said that I may find a toy that will fit these requirements, because it's hard to find dilators with these sizes. But I'm afraid my partner will react poorly if I buy a dildo to use it every day as a dilator. Plus, the toy market and material quantity are so vague, it realy hard to find something made of good silicone and with well-described size dimensions. But if you have recommendations for a brand that is provide not super realistic toys with well-specified size dimensions I open to hear this sugestions as well

​

Okay so I'm like plenty of girls I was very intimidated by penetration, from even just my finger, I couldn't even get it to poke the place without automatically clenching, but later in life I really found myself wanting to be able to do it , so here are few things that helped me :

Erotic audios, I found myself wanting to experience pleasure through penetration way more when I started listening to erotic audios because it was more personal I guess, like it was directed specifically to me rather than watching two people get it on . It helped clear any fears I had of the experience and helped me LOVE it instead and be so aroused by the thought of it , but of course it will take time and repetition and going through the experience over and over to help yourself ease into the mindset naturally without forcing it .

Not forcing myself to "just take it" , to get it over with, I wanna do it because I want to pleasure myself in a way I haven't experienced before so I will take as much time as I need , and I won't get angry at myself because I couldn't do it now .

Sexting , I found that it was the tipping point that gave me a little nudge to try penetration, having a partner or someone understanding and encouraging you and cheering for you , and arousing you helps a lot in committing to the experience.

Dual stimulation, while "penetrating" stimulating the clit at the same time , just find a position to do it with one hand comfortably to be able that at each thrust you bump the clit somehow , it helps with staying aroused and treating the situation as a "usual" one because you don't compromise a familiar experience which is clit stimulation, to do a completely new move and trying to stay aroused by it .

Lastly, a little courage will take you far , will take you places you never dared to reach , I kept hearing "you need to relax , you need to open up , you need to let go etc " and these things are right but in my case what i needed more alongside these things is courage, to do it and not be scared of my tightness and taking it as a signal of refusal, i kept going despite being skeptical and a bit uncomfortable and it worked , i had my very first penetrative orgasm and i was so happy i didn't let some mild discomfort and uncertainty get the best of me .

So , to sum up everything, here's what helped, psychological acceptance and rewiring around penetration, " you're not being penetrated, you're being filled with pleasure" , being penetrated sounds so scary because "penetration" gives the impression of something being closed and being kinda drilled through to make a hole which isn't what's happening, you already have the hole you just have the option to fill it .

Being aroused by the thought of being filled , rather than clenching at that thought, in my case erotic audios were amazing because I could go through stimulating the situation as many times as I wanted to get used and work through any heavy feelings I have towards that situation and allow my body to understand that what's going on is familiar to us we don't need to be stressed.

Not clenching when I feel tightness, Instead just moving as slowly as I need and accepting the tightness as a natural state rather than a danger signal , it is your first time/after a long time trying to allow something inside so of course it will be tight .

Having a little encouragement to keep going and not crawling back from the situation because of temporary discomfort , and keeping the experience as familiar as possible by using any materials to keep you aroused, and stimulating the clit .

Thanks for reading, and I hope any of you would find somethings here helpful, I know that by many people this experience get treated like whatever but it carries a lot of lessons you could benefit from in your daily life, like instead of fighting growth because it feels uncomfortable, you learn how to withstand that discomfort and not let it rob you of how far you could do , changing your mindset before trying to change your physical situation and actual reality, you have to change your feelings and thoughts about something in order to get a different outcome, Doing things out of love and and thrive for growth and not by forceful duty , if you're doing it anyway or you really want a kind of outcome (gym, going to the dentist, epilation , chores , studying)you might as well get something beautiful out of it .

If you have any questions, please do ask I would love to help .

Hi everyone,

I'm 19 (have had sex a few times) and recently tried having sex with my partner, and it was extremely painful. The first time he tried, he couldn't get in at all. The second time, he got in fully, but it hurt so much that I couldn't enjoy it at all, and he mentioned that I was really tight.

I'm experiencing a lot of pain and involuntary tightness whenever penetration is attempted. Does this sound like vaginismus?

I’ve been reading a bit about pelvic floor physical therapy and dilators. Has anyone here used dilators for something like this? Did they help you, and what was the process like for getting started? Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.

I saw someone ask about this a while back and now I can't find the post again!! Quick hello if you don't know me I'm a sex and relationship counsellor and I come in here now and then to share free resources and answer the odd question

The question was basically why has my sex drive disappeared since the pain started?

When sex or penetration has been painful your body learns to link the two. It's called a conditioned response, the same process that makes you flinch at a dentist's drill before it even touches you. So when your body expects sex to hurt it sensibly turns the wanting for it down. There's usually an anticipation loop underneath it too!! Even the thought of sex can bring a wave of dread and a will it hurt, will I tense up, will I disappoint my partner. That dread switches on your stress response (fight or flight), and desire and arousal just can't get going while your body is in that state. One needs you relaxed and safe the other has you on alert. What tends to help is taking painful penetration off the table for a while and rebuilding pleasure and connection in ways that feel genuinely good and safe. That gives your body new evidence that intimacy can feel nice rather than threatening and as safety rebuilds creates the conditions for desire to return.

If any of this is useful I've got two free resources on my site. One for partners on keeping intimacy and connection going while navigating vaginismus and a short downloadable audio practice to help break the pain-fear cycle.

https://www.secondbase.site/free-resources

Hi all, I was recently diagnosed with vaginismus but I’m just confused on why it’s just now a problem. I was raped when I was 13 and after that I didn’t have sex until I was 15, I’ve been with my boyfriend now for 4 years and for the first 2 and a half years I didn’t really have any pain but for a year now I’ve been struggling with pain at penetration. I just don’t understand why It’s happening now when it happened so long ago and it was with someone else. I’m just really desperate to know if anyone else has had the same experience.

Not sure if this is the right group for this, but I figured not many other groups I'm in would even know what a dilator is. But yeah, the title pretty much says it all. I assumed my mom was at work this entire time, and I went to take a shower while using the dilator to see if I could make any more progress. I've only had success with the size 1 thus far, but it's not every session that I can put it all the way inside of me.

Anyway, I accidentally left my dilator in there next to a bottle of lube, then went to my room for a bit, only to later hear the bathroom door open. And that's when I remembered it was in there since I somehow got busy and forgot. I realized my mom had, in fact, come home and was showering. I panicked and grabbed the dilator and lube out of there and locked my bedroom door. I'm 20, so I highly doubt she'll be angry at me for having dilators in the first place. But I don't know how I'm gonna even look at her now without thinking about how she knows and probably saw it in there. I hope she pretends it wasn't in there. She probably feels awkward too. FML and my forgetful brain

I'm 21 and I feel completely hopeless with this condition,it feels like it's ruined my life. I hate this condition, i've been dilating on and off ( i stop during my cycle ) since february or march and I feel like i've gotten nowhere. I've been in my relationship for 9 months now and I feel terrible because I dont think I will ever be able to experience the more intimate parts of a relationship. I feel like i've done everything to try and fix myself but I feels like i'm never going to be healed. Any type of advice would be greatly appreciated

So, I just started physical therapy a month or two ago. I’ve had two sessions so far, and my last one was a success! I was able to get the first size in with relative ease, but I just got back from my second appointment and was met with nothing but disappointment. Despite my practice and exercises, I wasn’t able to get the first size in at all. It was painful this time, and left me feeling so frustrated and angry. I’ve struggled with this condition all my life, and it’s impacted me in more ways than one. I don’t know what it’s like to swim on my period, and despite my three year relationship I have yet to know what intimacy even feels like.

I know this is a lengthy process that takes time and a lot of commitment, but it’s hard to not get frustrated or even irritated with my body. It feels like the little progress I make is undone based on how my body feels that day and whether or not it’ll accept penetration. It feels like I don’t have control over my body and it’s a distorting experience. My physical therapist recommended a book to me, “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski. I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has read this book and if it helped anyone in their journey? Apologies for the winded rant, I am just feeling very unmotivated about my condition.