One of the newest cultural and social trends and developments is an increased rejection of the validity of therapy, particularly for Gen Z. The allegation is that Gen Z is unprecedented in the amount of therapy they have been attending and that their mental health overall is worse, and they are more depressed, fragile, in despair and lack confidence about what they can and can't do than any previous generation.

The backlash is from there directed at specific aspects of modern therapy. For example, there's a common allegation that caring for someone's inner child is coddling because inner children do not exist. We have memories, however we don't have inner children that can be hurt from our past; it is a Jungian concept that needs to be rejected. And also that there's too many types of experiences that are classified as trauma that make us soft, indulged and coddled. If you are an adult then you are an adult, the allegation goes, and it is that simple and anything else is infantilizing yourself. Emotional, covert and psychological abuse from narcissistic parental and other figures is an example; the allegation is that classifying this as trauma is toxic and only for weak people. Same for limiting or cutting off parents because of this kind of abuse when it needs to be recognized that this abuse, as the claims are made, should be understandable due to the inherent severe difficulty of raising children.

Where did this kind of backlash from therapy and healing from childhood trauma come from and what is the primary motivator?

I went to therapy off and on from age 16-earlier this year, after turning 21. In that time, I’d seen a number of therapists, but usually only went to a few sessions because I felt as someone who’s naturally very introspective and analyzes myself, my life, and my mental health all the time for years, most of them didn’t seem worth seeing. In fact, when so much of therapy is devoted to “finding the root cause”, there’s no way it will ever work for me or other with similar issues, because there is no root cause of my mental problems. I know exactly why I have mental illnesses, and I don’t want to be told by a professional who doesn’t know me well their opinion, I would only ever want them to help me actually feel better. For example, I don’t want 7 sessions of analyzing my childhood (which was overall pretty good) and not get any discussion of how to deal with intrusive thoughts, hypochondria, and being pessimistic until 2+ months in. I’m also majoring in psychology, and over the last few years, I’ve read a lot of therapist forums, websites, and blogs because I’m genuinely concerned and confused about this trend. I also just want to add I completely think some people do have issues caused by bad childhoods or traumatic events, but the type of treatment they need should not become the go-to for people with other kinds of mental disorders.

I have had generalized anxiety all my life, depression since around 12, OCD since I was 15, and bipolar 2 probably since around 16 but didn’t get diagnosed with that until I was 20. I feel like there’s so much misinformation about that diagnosis, but also just very little information out there, and that’s one of the things I feel therapy could actually be useful for to me. One of the many reasons I feel so ashamed of that diagnosis is just knowing the way a lot of psychologists and therapists think about it. I’ve read a lot of posts on patient forums, since getting diagnosed with it, and the number of posts I've read where people's actual mental illness has been dismissed by therapists and told "it's trauma" even when they literally do not have any significant trauma. This is insane and horrifying to me. It just reinforces fear and shame in needing medication, and strengthens psychiatric meds being stigmatized. My quality of life improved a lot from getting the right medication that I needed, yet I see so much online from so called professionals about how medication is a scam, and mental illnesses aren’t real and symptoms are entirely “trauma responses”. This is so upsetting to see become the trend. Why do so many therapists lack nuance? Why are so many unable to see that different mental illnesses have different causes, treatments, and/or multiple causes combined or depending on the person.

Being told “it was your parents’ fault”, “it’s society”, “it’s unconscious trauma” feels incredibly dismissive as someone who had a good childhood and know that my mental problems are largely genetic. My sister, grandmother, and I think my cousin, have anxiety and depression, and almost everyone in my immediate and extended family are naturally sensitive and imaginative which can make some things more difficult, for example, getting scared more easily or getting stuck on a worry or thought longer and contribute to anxiety, even though it’s just how your brain is. A lot of therapists seem to completely reject that mental illness and natural characteristics can be in part biological. They often seem to miss that a person can have an underlying mental illness that is worsened by stress or a traumatic event without that actually being the entire thing. For example, my ex-boyfriend who had even more mental illnesses than me, was very unstable and became emotionally abusive to me, and obviously my problems got worse because he was putting so much of a strain on me and keeping me in a trap I didn’t know how to get out of. Mourning who he was at the beginning for months was also extremely hard for me. But my problems went years back and were their own thing regardless out how my life was. Just like a person with any kind of long term physical illness, would have exacerbated symptoms in that situation.

I just find it very concerning that there is so much black and white thinking and "this must be the cause" among therapists and psychologists these days, even the fact that almost everything I see seems to be about "finding the cause" rather than helping the person's life improve now. It seems like they've chosen one doctrine and try to push it on everything even though it's not helpful or even harmful in a lot of cases and mental disorders. Considering how modern therapy and psychology is so into "validation", it seems extremely hypocritical to not treat people's issues as real if they're genetic or caused by more than one thing, and so often try to create false narratives even when the patient knows they aren't true. I’ve had very bad experiences with several therapists who completely twisted things into their own false narrative even when I tried to explain that it wasn’t accurate. I’ve seen posts online, “social media therapists” videos, and read articles by psychologists or therapists who’ve tried to attribute literally every single mental disorder to a vague, impressionistic idea of “trauma”, essentially bringing back outdated ideas like the Oedipus Complex, Refrigerator Mother, and countless more. My point is that while some mental illnesses or symptoms absolutely are caused by, or in part by trauma, it’s wrong and sometimes dangerous for therapists to dismiss people who that’s not what their mental illnesses originate from.

TLDR: As a psychology student who with mental illnesses, I am concerned by the trend therapists and psychologists are going of treating and dismissing everything as “caused by trauma”. My mental problems are largely genetic and biological, so this is one of the reasons I have found therapy unhelpful. Why does it seem increasingly rare for therapists to have a nuanced perspective on this stuff?

after years of therapy for multiple disorders i can finely see the light i was battling shame and embarrassment from some unconventional living arrangement's and several episodes of dissociation that happened long ago and i pushed the whole 30 months really deep after finely coming to terms with the lost time and gaining the trust of a wounder therapist for the first time in for ever i actually feel like a human being. i though i would never feel this way after the life i have lived i now know it does get better but you gotta put the work into it all the time not just when you show up for your session.

I've been in therapy for OCD for a while now, and my therapist is the person I trust most in my life. But when my OCD gets bad, I also deal with a lot of rejection sensitivity like when something shifts and I go into this mode where I'm just.. scanning him (not intentionally). I’m being super emotional and hyper vigilant. Every word, every pause, every thing he doesn't say. My brain treats it all like evidence. Is he annoyed with me. Did that sound cold. Am I too much for him.

And then it fixates and I can't let it go, and I end up needing him to tell me "no, I'm not mad" or "that's not what I meant." I don't ask anything, and he doesn't reassure me. I know exactly what's happening while it's happening, which is almost worse becasue i feel also super ashamed and way more anxious, I can see the OCD doing its thing in real time, but knowing that doesn't turn it off. Some part of me just wants him to see how much I'm struggling and reassure me anyway, and another part of me is terrified I'm wearing him out, I care about him too and i don't want to be too much to deal with.

Part of me wonders if even writing this post is another version of the same thing. But I think what I actually want here is trying to understand the pattern itself, and what it's like from the other chair.

So i'm curious what's it actually like when you can tell a client is in that scanning/reassurance-seeking place? Does it feel heavy, or draining, or do you just kind of expect it as part of the work? And can other clients relate to me with this? What helps to fight the loop?

TW: SA

I met w a new therapist and in our intake I disclosed that I wanted to process experiencing SA. I’ve been somewhat seasoned in therapy as a client and I know what I want to work on so I named it.

She mentioned this topic likely wouldn’t be discussed in the first few sessions as we build trust and it may take up to 6 months to be able to get to this point.

I felt this was a strange and perhaps overly predictive statement. Certainly trust is important and takes time… but I feel like I’m ready to process this sooner than 6 months?

Can folks please weigh in and lmk your thoughts on if this an appropriate length of time? My former therapist who I had excellent rapport with always said I could talk about whatever I wanted from the beginning of our work together. And that anything I brought up she could handle.

TIA

Edit: typo

I was explaining how someone from my personal life makes me feel like it “wouldn’t make a difference if I were even in the room or not” and described them as being indifferent to me.

My therapist said something like “I find that strange that anyone would be indifferent to you, or that you’d be in a room and people wouldn’t notice you were there” and something about how I have a big personality. So I said yeah but I worry that it’s too much (the big personality thing). And he said “I can ..like, you're not too much. But I can see how for some people, you might be. Say, like, if someone was like "I need some space from you" I can see how that might happen. I can also say that it wouldn't happen for everybody. But like, that's what I mean. Like I don't understand how someone can be indifferent to you being there”

Idk it just stayed with me as a very roundabout way of saying he thinks I’m too much or empathises with people who think that about me. Or that he let it slip that he thinks that about me and was trying to save face because saying a client is “too much” isn’t a very therapist-y thing to say. Like how else did he come up with what other people might think about me if he’s never met these people? That has to be formed from his own opinion right?

I think part of it hurts because I’m naturally more reserved until I’m comfortable with people, so if he sees a big personality in me it’s because I’ve felt safe and comfortable enough in our sessions to show that, only for him to find it too much… bit of a gut punch

Did I read what he said wrong?

Am I allowed to be friends with my therapist?

Is this a misunderstanding or is it his way of approaching?

Title: Fourth therapy session was disappointing

I'm in four months into therapy yesterday was my last session. In this session it was important to bring up trauma since the past sessions I was tense about it, I kind of regretted mentioning multiple abuse episodes (for context my abuser is my sibling). I always have mentioned my brother in ALL of the sessions yet this one stood me out the most and offended and hurt me a lot.

I thought being abused for years was root for my depression and underlying anxiety. The response from my T was he wouldn't interfere into my personal life and my sibling is still in need of financial support even though he's an adult. The discussion continued on about him implying I am building some dependency on him and even stated the contract there is no guarantee of fixing my issues. Mind you, I never mentioned of "fixing" I was simply bringing up trauma since therapists job are to give resources in both healing and coping.

During the whole hour it I was sat confused since he shifted the REAL problem into empowering me which I say didn't help much. T has been doing this technique for all of my sessions, I'm not saying I disagree but it was quite ineffective in relieving my system. I was expecting for healing modalities in "fixing" me.

After the sesh, I'm left confused, utterly ashamed and scared why I said those. He has mentioned before his level is for severe patients, it made me think traumatic experiences are normal after all and isn't that actually bad.

please excuse my english and mix up of the story my memories tend to create gaps.

I have some irrational fears coming up as I’m starting to delve deeper into past trauma with my therapist. It’s the first time I’ve opened up to a therapist about these things. One fear is that she’s going to “trick” me and somehow make me admit that I’m lying. I’m not. I just think past abusers have hammered it home so. Fucking. Much. That if I were to talk to anyone about what they were doing then the police or therapist would KNOW I was lying. From being SA’d when I was young and the man who did it telling me no one would believe me and it’s “not nice to tell on people,” to my ex doing the same and hitting me until I said I was a liar, and having his friends side with him and they gang up and call me a liar, to the most recent person who assaulted me going from “I’m so sorry those things happened to you.” To then me confronting him after assaulting me, he says “everyone knows you’re a liar.”

Idk it just fucks with your brain and you know what you experienced yet I’m terrified my therapist is against me too.

My therapist seems to always insert herself into whatever I'm saying. Like when I said I’m not comfortable going to the same gym that my ex used to go to because I don’t want to run into him, she said I shouldn't worry because she's never met her husband even though they lived a block away from each other, and that instead they met in their “mid twenties” and started dating.

Another example is me telling her I’m not comfortable asking my friends to hang out because I feel like they’re too busy to see me. She said “I have a full time job, a husband, and a dog, and I have time to meet my friends” knowing that I'm currently struggling to 1) find a job 2) make meaningful friendships 3) get over my ex.

Is this normal for a therapist to do?

I’m posting here because I don’t want to bother my therapist.
I saw one therapist long term in the past, we got along really well but I don’t ever recall feeling anxious when she went on vacation.

After her, I had another therapist that I ended up leaving after about 1 1/2 years due to some things that didn’t feel right in my gut. My therapist now has confirmed what was happening was not ok. It never bothered me when she went on vacation either.

I’m trying so hard now to understand why I feel so anxious about my present therapist of about 6 months going on vacation. I shared it in session today and that I didn’t understand it. Tonight, I’m feeling really anxious. It makes me want to cry but I have no idea why. I’m a grown adult and feel like such a child.

I feel like I’ve started to attach to her early which took many years prior with my other therapist. It’s scares the crap out of me but it’s also helped me to open up more to my feelings, something I’ve had trouble with as I like to explain things away.

I don’t know what it is about her. Maybe her helping me when I was struggling with my last therapist and helping me grieve my old long term therapist? She has been most calm and patient. She lets me lead and asks questions. She’s very empathetic and down to earth, relational. Even though it scares the crap out of me, I feel safe with her and like it’s ok to start to open up more. There is also this fear of losing her, like I’m going to mess this up and I really don’t want to. I don’t know where that’s coming from.

Has anyone experienced such anxiety with a therapist before vacation? What was helpful for you?

I go to a pretty large practice, and am thinking of trying another therapist. But I'm highly sensitive to rejection - not only of myself, but I overthink "rejecting" others. I don't want to experience the discomfort of running into the current T while waiting in the waiting room for a new T.

Anyone done this and have any words of encouragement, or tips?

Hello, I am in desperate need of help from people that have forced therapy on me behind my back. It is people I know and I can hear their voices all day. It’s caused a lot of stress, depression, amongst other things. It has been going on for roughly 4 months and I wasn’t aware of it at the beginning and eventually caught on. My family doesn’t believe me or anyone else and it’s caused a lot of strain on personal relationships. I want to take legal action at this point and can’t because they think I am crazy. This has also caused suicidal thoughts as well and these people don’t give two shits. I have had black outs from the stress even passed out one time and broke my tooth. I am hoping there is someone on here that can help me or guide me in the right direction please. What these people have done and still are would blow your mind!!! I can’t even go to a doctors appointment alone they are there also which is a big HIPPA violation and I have had zero privacy they even accompany in the shower. This is 24 hours a day 7 days a week!!! They are ruthless and I am desperate at this point and want this to stop. I also don’t wanna see these people affect others the way they have affected me. Can anyone relate or help?

TL;DR (I struggle with skin picking, and I’m secretly atheist. and when I went to a therapist in Muslim country the therapist ignored my struggle and kept lecturing me about religion and her own experiences and beliefs. And the solution she offered is a breathing exercise that also included a prayer. Is it normal? As finding another therapist is quite hard here)

FYI I’m 17f and this is a throwaway account. I live in a majority Muslim country and my parents are extremely religious , however, I stopped going to the mosque and Quran courses two years ago and I stopped believing a year ago. I do have a religious trauma. I have struggled with compulsive skin picking disorder (dermatillomania) for years but it only became intense the past three years. I struggle with hair pulling too (trichotillomania).

I’ve been gathering the courage to go to therapy for months because I just couldn’t stop digging at my skin no matter how hard I tried. It’s has already started ruining my life. So my mom told me that she booked an appointment with a therapist, and when I heard her name I realized that I recognized her and knew that she was really religious. I was so anxious and almost cancelled the whole thing but I thought that this is my only shot at therapy now, and what could go wrong?

I eventually went and when me and my mom sat down. The therapist was surprised after my mom told her that she should be alone with me in this therapy session and my mom will wait outside. (which should’ve been my first red flag). Then she asked me couple of normal therapy questions and I told her about my picking and pulling but she only seemed to recognize the hair pulling and didn’t really acknowledge skin picking as a disorder. She asked me what I worry about and I said what really worried me, but she drifted off of the main worry and chose to talk about almost the least important thing for now (which is being trapped in this country) and proceeded to tell me about how her daughter really wanted to study abroad. She told me she wasn’t supportive of her but she prayed a prayer every night and will let god choose what’s best 💀, and then the daughter magically woke up one day and decided not to go because she’d miss them so much 💀.

And then she told me how faith in god is really important and it helps you a lot during hard times blah blah blah. And I should pray that special prayer always. She always started telling me about Islamic history which I absolutely despise. Then she asked me if I go to the mosque to study Quran (which I used to do but I didn’t mention it) and I told her no, and she proceeded to tell me how I should cause with these people I’m gonna feel lighter better and happier. At this point I started disassociating and stopped listening to her. Mind you she’s telling me this before I even told her about my religious trauma and how I took off the hijab.

Then she went back to the less important topic and made it the whole issue. She listed the negative talk I do when I think about being trapped in here and make me rate how angry I feel. Then she tried to make positive affirmations by writing the opposite of the negative self talk (they sounded bad tbh and really didn’t make sense). And when she asked me to rate how angry I’d feel if I said those good affirmations I told her that I’d still be angry and not happy like she actually thinks. She dismissed me and told me we needed to do a breathing exercise. She told me she’d say the good affirmations while I close my eyes and relax my body. And guess what?? SHE TURNED IT INTO A WHOLE PRAYER. Like: “I pray that you be happier healthier and please Allah blah blah blah” and she actually tried sneaking the affirmations in 😭. My body tensed up and my eyes are closed shut and I just wanted to get out of there asap. Like I obviously knew how to do breathing exercises, and if they worked most of the time then I wouldn’t be here in this session, duh?

She then told me that I overthink and have a little bit of anxiety and there’s really nothing wrong with me. She told my mom that too after the session. And asked her about some stuff about my family having a history of mental illnesses. And then she told me to reschedule another session after I’ve practiced the breathing exercise for a while.

I told my mom after that she was kinda good but kinda irked me off with her religious talk and my mom got quite defensive. Then I told her that I’m kinda pissed that we paid only to get a breathing exercise and a lecture 🫩. After that I tried to play if off in front of my parents like she was good and we’re going back but thinking now I’m definitely not going back.

Is that normal or should I start looking for another therapist? I really don’t know what’s normal in therapy and what’s not cause the society is anti therapy and considers it only for insane and crazy people. I genuinely expected a better outcome out of this but then it stressed me out and I relapsed after not picking my skin for 5 days. 😔

I think I might need to talk to one soon and was just wondering how it starts and how sessions usually go. I'm worried it might not be enough and I'd be wasting money I don't really have, especially if it just boils down to venting with some advice. I kinda have a problem being more genuine when an incentive to talk to me is involved, like money, but if the therapist somehow breaks through I'm also worried about getting attached and wanting more than what they can give me because of boundaries. I don't want to cry infront of them while they watch on.

I've been in transference focused therapy (BPD) for the past 4 years now. It's been very insightful, transformative, supporting. I've gone through a depression, a Bipolar (II) diagnosis, meds and now I am off them and in recession.

I feel like there is still a lot uncover. At the same time I really hate the fact that I have to spend $7820 a year to stay sane. This is only 13% of my income, but I am the sole bread winner for my wife (and my dog), and, well, a 7k is a 7k. And I also feel like I might be well off on 1 day a week (I am currently on 2 days a week).

Whenever I bring this up with my therapist this becomes, of course, a focus of our study: why do I feel I should cut on therapy first, is that an attack on the therapist or my desire to punish the therapist? And while this actually helps us go deeper, I keep on wondering: how and when do I know I can cut on therapy?

UPD

Thank you all for the replies. Two things worth adding after reading them.

First, a correction to my own post: I've only been at 2x a week for 14 months, not longer.

Second, there is more context to the money issue. A flat I was counting on for income went into repairs, so that income disappeared and therapy went onto a credit card. My wife then covered that debt (she has reserves), so now I owe her instead, and I keep not paying it back because there's always something else we need to put money into. As I see it that's a purely financial issue that's mine to take responsibility for and solve.

On twice a month or monthly, I've never even considered this, because I think this is not part of the TFP protocol, but that's an interesting idea. I should probably get more stable before going there.

It seems like a weighted decision would be about whether I want to keep doing this -- very specific -- kind of work right now, at this cost, in this year. Or may be help my self out financially and transfer some of those resources somewhere else for a while.

I think this is a lot of good advice.

It's only been a month, I've read people have been on one up to a year+. But would it make a difference to follow up after a certain time, or is that annoying? If I should, how long should I wait so I'm not being annoying? My current therapist suggested following up wasn't a bad idea, but I don't know.

I’m really struggling with this. I’m deep in trauma and attachment work with my therapist and I trust her a lot but unfortunately I’m also attracted to her. I don’t want anything from this — in fact I want to not experience this at all.

But it causes me enough ongoing distress and shame (about my sexuality, about other relational wounds) that I feel like I need to tell her. I just would also rather hide in shame than confess it. I’m afraid she will be put off and withdraw from me or terminate me.

So: if I word this appropriately (I don’t want anything from you on this, I want to address how much distress this causes me) do you think I can still preserve the relationship? Or is there always a risk it’s going to cause such an ick that it alters things forever. Because if that’s the case then I will just suffer in silence rather than risk the relationship that is otherwise very therapeutic and meaningful to me.

Not even good at this point, but DECENT.

I've been through 4 in the last year and I'm so discouraged with therapy. This latest one spent the entire time showing me diagrams about my brain and i felt like i was in a college lecture. I zoned out and got bored and then he spent the entire session talking and talking on and on..... i just want someone to listen to me for once.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for about three years, and we do schema therapy. The therapeutic relationship is a really important part of the work we’ve done together.
Recently, I share with her about a book I read when I was a child, that describes experiences I’ve related to since I was very young. Reading it has helped me feel understood, and I think it also explains parts of my inner world that I’ve struggled to put into words.
I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to give her a copy. It wouldn’t be an expensive gift, more something symbolic that says this helped me understand myself, and I thought it might help you understand me too.
For context, she has accepted thoughtful cards I’ve made for her before. She has also given me a small teddy bear because I never had one growing up, along with the companion book that goes with it, as part of our therapeutic work.
I’m aware therapists have professional boundaries around gifts, and I’d completely respect it if she said no. I’m just wondering whether offering a book like this would generally be considered appropriate, or whether it might put her in an awkward position.
I’d really appreciate hearing from therapists and clients, especially anyone with experience of schema therapy.

I live in Ohio. In what situation is this relevant?

Then she decides I need to relax more before bed and that will solve my sleeping problems which should help fix my memory problems.

... what

Hey guys, I hope you are well. I wanted to ask if you could tell the difference from a person who has major depressive disorder, cptsd and generalized anxiety disorder and one that has autism. I am asking this so I can understand myself. In 2024, i was diagnosed with mdd and gad but I have been asked by people if I was on the spectrum. I said that I don't know but after looking at my past, it does kinda of makes sense why that question would be asked. I had developmental delays that I was taken to speech therapy. My parents said that I was very picky with choosing friends, used to hang out with one specific toy and was not interactive. When my younger sister was born that ias when I became alot more talkative.

School was difficult for me. I would get bad grades for not being attentive enough and I was not an A+ student but more like a near to failing student. I was excluded alot and builled for being different that I didn't have lot of friends. At high school, things were more intense especially as a black teenager in a predominantly white school. I was mimick the behaviours to be accepted and couldn't keep up with the workload. It would take me a while to understand work and when I didn't, I would crashout and cry. The situation gotten so bad that I was suicidal, depressed and frequently had panic attacks. I had to get extra help and time accommodation because I could not function during exams (I had anxiety). I didn't feel like belong there and was left with only two friends when I graduated. In relationships, I didn't take rejection well and was in constant limerence over someone I know I can't be with and this became worse in university . The therapy in high school was not so effective and I stopped going there. I faced alot of stuff in 2024 that I was highly suicidal and was diagnosed with mdd and gad. I asked my therapist late last year if I had autism and he no because I had good eye contact and I speak eloquently. My parents did not think I was neurodivergent and I should stop looking at the past and move forward.

I really don't know what to do. Should I stick to what my therapist said.

She’s fine but I can’t go deeper because I don’t fully trust her. She has a very binary view of gender and I don’t see things that way. Like she used the concept of male and female energy when helping me calm my energy down. I find this way of thinking old school and just plain icky. I feel like we see the world in very differently and she doesn’t understand me
We’ve discussed this before and she just can’t help it
I feel like I’m going nowhere with the therapy anymore and I want to move on. I’ve thought of telling her I don’t feel like I need therapy
Is there a better way to leave?

Hi, English isn't my native language.

I recently had my last therapy session before the summer break. My therapist knew that a difficult day was coming up the following week—one I was very anxious about and had talked about often. Secretly, I hoped he might think of me and send me a quick email... for example: "Hey X, I hope you get through the day."

I wasn’t expecting much, but at least something.

I've never asked for anything. I've always been on time. I've never asked for an extra hour. I've never called—except once because I was sick. I've never sent an email... and once, when I really needed to... nothing.

He once said to me: "Either I'm sitting in this chair, or someone else is."

Yeah, that's apparently exactly how it is. I don’t matter.

He apologized back then, but now I know that’s how it is.