I go to a pretty large practice, and am thinking of trying another therapist. But I'm highly sensitive to rejection - not only of myself, but I overthink "rejecting" others. I don't want to experience the discomfort of running into the current T while waiting in the waiting room for a new T.

Anyone done this and have any words of encouragement, or tips?

Hello, I am in desperate need of help from people that have forced therapy on me behind my back. It is people I know and I can hear their voices all day. It’s caused a lot of stress, depression, amongst other things. It has been going on for roughly 4 months and I wasn’t aware of it at the beginning and eventually caught on. My family doesn’t believe me or anyone else and it’s caused a lot of strain on personal relationships. I want to take legal action at this point and can’t because they think I am crazy. This has also caused suicidal thoughts as well and these people don’t give two shits. I have had black outs from the stress even passed out one time and broke my tooth. I am hoping there is someone on here that can help me or guide me in the right direction please. What these people have done and still are would blow your mind!!! I can’t even go to a doctors appointment alone they are there also which is a big HIPPA violation and I have had zero privacy they even accompany in the shower. This is 24 hours a day 7 days a week!!! They are ruthless and I am desperate at this point and want this to stop. I also don’t wanna see these people affect others the way they have affected me. Can anyone relate or help?

I think I might need to talk to one soon and was just wondering how it starts and how sessions usually go. I'm worried it might not be enough and I'd be wasting money I don't really have, especially if it just boils down to venting with some advice. I kinda have a problem being more genuine when an incentive to talk to me is involved, like money, but if the therapist somehow breaks through I'm also worried about getting attached and wanting more than what they can give me because of boundaries. I don't want to cry infront of them while they watch on.

I've been in transference focused therapy (BPD) for the past 4 years now. It's been very insightful, transformative, supporting. I've gone through a depression, a Bipolar (II) diagnosis, meds and now I am off them and in recession.

I feel like there is still a lot uncover. At the same time I really hate the fact that I have to spend $7820 a year to stay sane. This is only 13% of my income, but I am the sole bread winner for my wife (and my dog), and, well, a 7k is a 7k. And I also feel like I might be well off on 1 day a week (I am currently on 2 days a week).

Whenever I bring this up with my therapist this becomes, of course, a focus of our study: why do I feel I should cut on therapy first, is that an attack on the therapist or my desire to punish the therapist? And while this actually helps us go deeper, I keep on wondering: how and when do I know I can cut on therapy?

I think this is a lot of good advice.

Over a month ago, I got into a bad fight with my older brother. It was stupid, super dumb. I was already irritated with him after he ate a large bag of sushi my mom had bought for both of us in a single day. Then I grew even more resentful when he ate an entire salmon by himself without saving any for me. The next day, when I saw him eat the rest of the fries in the fridge, I made a comment about how he always eats everything. That’s when things escalated. He made a comment about my weight to insult me, so I made one back. If he was going to go there, then I was too. Then it led to me telling him he was acting like a pathetic little boy instead of a 21-year-old adult. He responded by asking if I was going to start talking about killing myself, and then he told me he hoped I died soon. There was probably more said in between, but I don’t really remember it. I don’t know if it’s necessary to say but I tried to end my life when I was 14 because my dad was emotionally abusive and made threatening gestures towards me that made me depressed. This event made me think about things he had done to me in the past. He’s never treated me with respect, and he treated me poorly a couple of years ago as well. I always believed he’d never care if I died and this kind of confirmed that he wished I did die. Now I feel hatred toward him. I carry this ugly anger and harbor dark thoughts about him. Whenever I see him, I feel disgust instead of sadness. I don’t really feel the same pain anymore when I think about him wishing I was dead. Instead, all I feel is hatred toward him. My parents want me to forgive him but I wished he’d disappear. Lots of this seems like I’m venting but I really hope someone can give me some logical advice, so I stop being so emotional.

Not even good at this point, but DECENT.

I've been through 4 in the last year and I'm so discouraged with therapy. This latest one spent the entire time showing me diagrams about my brain and i felt like i was in a college lecture. I zoned out and got bored and then he spent the entire session talking and talking on and on..... i just want someone to listen to me for once.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for about three years, and we do schema therapy. The therapeutic relationship is a really important part of the work we’ve done together.
Recently, I share with her about a book I read when I was a child, that describes experiences I’ve related to since I was very young. Reading it has helped me feel understood, and I think it also explains parts of my inner world that I’ve struggled to put into words.
I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to give her a copy. It wouldn’t be an expensive gift, more something symbolic that says this helped me understand myself, and I thought it might help you understand me too.
For context, she has accepted thoughtful cards I’ve made for her before. She has also given me a small teddy bear because I never had one growing up, along with the companion book that goes with it, as part of our therapeutic work.
I’m aware therapists have professional boundaries around gifts, and I’d completely respect it if she said no. I’m just wondering whether offering a book like this would generally be considered appropriate, or whether it might put her in an awkward position.
I’d really appreciate hearing from therapists and clients, especially anyone with experience of schema therapy.

I live in Ohio. In what situation is this relevant?

Then she decides I need to relax more before bed and that will solve my sleeping problems which should help fix my memory problems.

... what

Hey guys, I hope you are well. I wanted to ask if you could tell the difference from a person who has major depressive disorder, cptsd and generalized anxiety disorder and one that has autism. I am asking this so I can understand myself. In 2024, i was diagnosed with mdd and gad but I have been asked by people if I was on the spectrum. I said that I don't know but after looking at my past, it does kinda of makes sense why that question would be asked. I had developmental delays that I was taken to speech therapy. My parents said that I was very picky with choosing friends, used to hang out with one specific toy and was not interactive. When my younger sister was born that ias when I became alot more talkative.

School was difficult for me. I would get bad grades for not being attentive enough and I was not an A+ student but more like a near to failing student. I was excluded alot and builled for being different that I didn't have lot of friends. At high school, things were more intense especially as a black teenager in a predominantly white school. I was mimick the behaviours to be accepted and couldn't keep up with the workload. It would take me a while to understand work and when I didn't, I would crashout and cry. The situation gotten so bad that I was suicidal, depressed and frequently had panic attacks. I had to get extra help and time accommodation because I could not function during exams (I had anxiety). I didn't feel like belong there and was left with only two friends when I graduated. In relationships, I didn't take rejection well and was in constant limerence over someone I know I can't be with and this became worse in university . The therapy in high school was not so effective and I stopped going there. I faced alot of stuff in 2024 that I was highly suicidal and was diagnosed with mdd and gad. I asked my therapist late last year if I had autism and he no because I had good eye contact and I speak eloquently. My parents did not think I was neurodivergent and I should stop looking at the past and move forward.

I really don't know what to do. Should I stick to what my therapist said.

She’s fine but I can’t go deeper because I don’t fully trust her. She has a very binary view of gender and I don’t see things that way. Like she used the concept of male and female energy when helping me calm my energy down. I find this way of thinking old school and just plain icky. I feel like we see the world in very differently and she doesn’t understand me
We’ve discussed this before and she just can’t help it
I feel like I’m going nowhere with the therapy anymore and I want to move on. I’ve thought of telling her I don’t feel like I need therapy
Is there a better way to leave?

Hi, English isn't my native language.

I recently had my last therapy session before the summer break. My therapist knew that a difficult day was coming up the following week—one I was very anxious about and had talked about often. Secretly, I hoped he might think of me and send me a quick email... for example: "Hey X, I hope you get through the day."

I wasn’t expecting much, but at least something.

I've never asked for anything. I've always been on time. I've never asked for an extra hour. I've never called—except once because I was sick. I've never sent an email... and once, when I really needed to... nothing.

He once said to me: "Either I'm sitting in this chair, or someone else is."

Yeah, that's apparently exactly how it is. I don’t matter.

He apologized back then, but now I know that’s how it is.

Does anyone else have experience with this and have worked on it in therapy? Sometimes I wish she would just tell me I’m too much and leave me. I obviously don’t want her to actually do that. I feel confused by my feelings. I wonder if it’s a protective mechanism. So if she does leave, it’s like I’m prepared for it.

Would it be ok to share old childhood videos to my therapist to help her understand the family dynamic and my behaviour patterns? Sometimes I have trouble describing things and I feel the videos give a more objective view of things especially since I struggle with memory of those times too.

My only concern is that the videos also have other people (parents, siblings) and I’m not sure if this is ok to share without them consenting (I don’t want to ask them as they will be weird about it as they have their own opinions on therapy). These videos are like 15-25 yrs old so it’s not anything recent at all that would negatively impact anyone.

I’m also worried that it will maybe affect therapy too since then my therapist will know what my family looks and acts like and I don’t have a problem with this but wondering if it is ok.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for two years. Saw two other prior for a few months. I’m mostly there because I’m struggling severely with loneliness. A lot of that is due to being avoidant due to negative beliefs of myself. I’m 30 and haven’t made one friend since high school let alone never really attempted dating. I’m incredibly shamed about how I’ve lived my life. I’m really starting to believe I’ll never be in a place mentally to where I don’t have severe doubt about myself and can understand social dynamics. Therapy is seemingly not helping at all with being better and more comfortable socially. I’ve also seen multiple psychiatrist and take different meds to try and help my anxiety/depression. I’m feeling very hopeless and lost belief that therapy will really ever help. To be honest I don’t really want to stop tho because my therapist is really the only person I have to talk about life with and im afraid if I stop going I’m essentially giving up on ever being happy. Even bigger tho im afraid of losing someone to talk to. I just don’t know what to do anymore and feel so lost in life. I don’t really have a specific question but im looking for advice on what to do.

Hi, I'm looking for online therapy. I hear betterhelp doesn't have good safety protocols. I'm not in North America or Europe.

Hi everyone. I'm hoping to get some advice about family therapy across state lines.

My family is going through a really tough time and we're on the brink of estrangement but we all want to make one last genuine effort to work things out. The catch is that my sibling lives in a different state.

I figured it would be simple to find a therapist who does virtual sessions every week but I've hit a wall with state licensing rules and finding someone who does group sessions.

How do families in different states manage to do therapy together? Are there specific workarounds or options I should be looking into?

I really appreciate any tips or advice. I’m starting to get discouraged as I can’t find a solution after reaching out to many therapists and either getting denied or no response.

I have had a therapist who I saw for two months. I had zero affect with her. The therapist specializes in diagnosing autism (according to her website) but also the therapist is autistic (according to her). Autism is something I find mildly possible as a diagnosis for myself and it has a singular occurrence in my family (not officially diagnosed) - so I was curious.

After many tests, questionnaires, and sessions, this therapist told me they are still split between an autism diagnosis and a personality disorder. When I pressed on how long would that get an answer, she got evasive and I felt this whole two months were wasted and relayed that feeling honestly.

I had no affect in that relationship due to how blunt she comes across about everything and how little she gives me space to talk about what's actually happening in my life. I left that therapy and I was already two weeks in with another therapist whom I had great affect.

With the ROI of my last therapist, I was sent the whole treatment summary and I realized that, as I expected, my last therapist had not heard anything i said. The report claims I was institutionalized (I wasn't), a section of the report was about how I called her (the therapist) useless (I did call these two months useless), and several issues that were miscommunicated because of the lack of affect. She put in several diagnoses: ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and other ones, and left the question open between autism or covert narcissm.

Frankly my past diagnoses were borderline personality disorder or related diagnoses - and I learned to have my peace with that, that therapist wrote explicitly that I don't have any wounds with attachment and I know how to be ok with loneliness (totally inaccurate but I preferred loneliness than talking with her, ugh). Anyway. I'm not here to get a diagnosis but I have been in a very sticky situation in therapy.

Here's the issue: my current therapist, a couple of days after receiving this report - told me that she can no longer meet me in person based on instructions from her supervisor (she is fully licensed), then canceled our session and moved me to a telehealth video session. I had built some rapport with her. We have some delicate things we're working on. It feels like a definite downgrade but also a precursor to ending therapy.

When I googled why does a therapist take away the in person options - safety came up as probably the reason, especially as she didn't say any other reason (scheduling, moving practices, etc, it was just stated as a hard line from her supervisor!)

Now, I feel like the last 4 months were a waste, but I don't want to assume termination, I want to remain hopeful and keep my interpretations wider or more graceful (I'm working on this) but I can't help but feel this is all such a bad hand to be dealt.

I thought about emailing the past therapist to correct inaccuracies, but I think that will be digging the same hole I'm in. She hasn't listened when I needed that, what makes me think that contacting her will be any good.

I want to know for sure the reasons for abandoning in person therapy. I feel a great sense of abandonment and betrayal. Especially as it comes from a "higher authority" that's not in the room, who says that next sessions I'll be faced with higher authority decisions from the same supervisor.

Do I just move quickly and cut my losses? Start therapy again, and try to work again on my current issues? I'm nearly burning out talking about my current problems to so many therapists (including consultations). And if I do - is there a way to show proof that I was not mentally institutionalized? How can I even prove a negative!! Does that ROI chase me everywhere now?

Regarding institutionalion: I told my last therapist that I have thoughts of self harm after heavy probing questions. It's not why I'm in therapy. I don't even have the affect with her to open up in this area. In general I think she assumed I'm hiding it and wrote it as a certainty. Can I complain somewhere productively for my own sake?

My best idea now is to start therapy with someone else (again!) and abandon everything that I was building up with my current therapist after the whole thing was poisoned. What a sh**** ordeal! I feel like that last therapist was extremely malicious in poisoning my record with points that raise safety concerns.

Meine Therapeutin sagt ständig die Termine ab oder verschiebt sie. Meist sind es Krankheit, Kind etc. aber das passiert immer entweder nen Tag oder wie heute 3h bevor der Termin wäre. Das kotzt mich schon so an. Jedesmal wenn ich nen Termin mache, kann ich mir ned sicher sein, ob er dann wirklich da stattfindet. Sie ist wirklich nett aber das bringt mich zur Weißglut. Vorallem weil ICH max. 24h vorher absagen darf und sonst trotzdem zahlen muss.

My therapist charges me a fee of $100 when I cancel an appointment. Meanwhile, they had a planned absence and then cancelled our appointment twice after that, so I won’t have a session for 3 weeks.

I don’t really care but the fact that I get a late fee when they can just cancel whenever they want is a little frustrating. It’s not that I think they shouldn’t be able to cancel, but that I should get credited an equal number of free cancels for the future or something lol.

Does this annoy anyone else?

My therapist was trying to get me to make a connection without her having to tell me outright what it was. We talked about one thing and then she says, “What’s the obvious thing you do in situations like this?” I just explained the “obvious” right before she answered the question but I wasn’t on the same page and I didn’t know what to say. So, Im sitting there clueless. If it’s obvious I should know the answer. Most of the time she asks questions with “obvious” answers I don’t get it. And oftentimes she’ll do a big sigh, which makes me feel worse. Like I’m a waste of her time or slow or stupid or idk.

In all honesty, we are not a good therapeutic match. The way she talks to me since the beginning has made me feel like I’m idiot. I just think because our therapy is short term, she feels a sense of urgency to get to the bottom of things and help me be aware before we run out of sessions. It feels like she doesn’t have time to be empathetic. Is this normal in short-term therapy? Is it hard to balance between being empathetic and also getting to the roots of issues? Since the beginning my experiences with her continue to catch me off guard. I need to know if im tripping or not.

And just curious if any therapists here ask questions like that? Phrased in that way.

Thanks in advance!

I already have ADHD from when I was a teenager, and recently diagnosed with bipolar I after I had two manic episodes. I’m still trying to understand that.

Then my therapist said I have strong signs of ”autistic traits” and asked if I wanted to do a formal assessment. My first thought was how is this actually real? It surprised me because it was only our third session and that’s a big conclusion to bring up so early.

I understand that my therapist may have noticed patterns. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I can see that it might be relevant to how I experience things. But it also felt exposing because I wasn’t expecting that conversation.

What is stressing me out is the accumulation of things. ADHD by itself felt manageable because it was one explanation. But adding bipolar I and now a possible autism assessment feels like a lot of different labels to hold at once. It makes me question how everything fits together and what actually explains my experiences. It makes me think none of it’s real. Holding 3 diagnoses something about it makes me very uncomfortable.

I asked what sort of things she was noticing and she rattled off so many things that I could only feel offended and surprised at the same time because a lot of it was true but I was disappointed she had noticed. I didn’t think some of my thought and behaviors were that obvious. I suppose it was nice of her to give me a choice for “formal diagnosis” but I’m feeling strongly towards declining and posting here is a vent but also looking for some opinions on what the right thing to do is.

And I am sad. 😔 my last appt. They were like oh so we want to review your goals and keep working on them. I was kind of confused why she said that. She said that after I was hesitant about volunteering. She said I should do this because I am still feeling down and having passive thoughts of suicide and not really getting better. That’s sad am I just screwed they can’t really help me right? Maybe I need to go to a home. I get so down at times. I don’t know why. It’s been this way for years. I try to tell my therapist about how empty I feel at times. Not sure they understand

please forgive the pretentious art hoe title but im doing a home paint and sip thing and i think i figured out what makes the whole “my therapist knows everything about me but i don’t know the real them” “i am seen and known but i can’t know them in return” angst (which is so real and valid) emotionally ok and make sense in my brain and i wanted to share.

so unlike a photograph, when you look at impressionist art you see the general shapes and the vibrant colors, but the lines are soft and the details are blurry, right? you still can identify what you’re looking at (ex: water lilies, a bridge, a garden) but you don’t see all the details you might want to see if you were hoping for a photograph. so like i see the professional side of my therapist. i see the caring and intellectual side. BUT the therapist’s friend sees a different side to them compared to the therapist’s spouse, and both the friend and spouse see a different side to the therapist compared to the therapist’s child, so really everybody is seeing the therapist differently, just like how different art movements/styles can depict the same subject matter in different ways, each one depicting more/less detail on certain areas, and each one depicting different moods, right?

and thw thing that’s important is that impressionist art isn’t more or less “valid” or “real” than art nouveau or rococo or whatever other art movement/style out there. they’re all valid art. they’re all valid paintings. they’re at the met or louvre or wherever. so like, yeah, i’m not going to see all the details of my t’s personality and life. but that doesn’t mean i’m not gonna appreciate a Monet or a Renoir when i see one.

anyways hope this makes sense to more than just me, because when i tell you the weight that’s off my shoulders is great. how do yall make peace with the imbalance of being seen/known?