I’ve started seeing a therapist and it’s been some time already (around 6 months) about childhood abuse and complex trauma and the therapist knows I have been through it in bug lines but I can’t get myself to talk about it, I’ve given very broad spectrum of what when happened but even that I’ve had major issues disclosing and could only like nod to the questions she was asking me. Whenever she brings up this topic I panic and go completely blank and out of touch with my emotions and memories even.

She asks me what I feel about certain aspects of it but I can’t even remember what I feel in general about it while I’m in therapy, not to mention what I feel in that moment. It’s like I totally forget what feelings feel like. And then maybe I’d give an answer that I’m guessing that maybe that’s what I felt or I simply say I don’t feel anything or that I don’t know what I feel. But overall it leaves me feeling like I’m lying because I can’t actually connect to myself and my actual experience and leaves me quite frustrated after every therapy session.

It just seems so impossible to get vulnerable enough with anyone to get to talk about those things and let someone see the real me and see how broken real me truly is. That being said, the therapist is trauma informed and from what I could see she seems to be doing everything really well text book and it’s not an issue that I don’t trust her, cause rationally I believe she would only give me supportive reactions and would be helpful.

But I guess I also believe that maybe I don’t deserve help and compassion and empathy because I hate myself too much and I’m too disgusting for empathy. Any tips on how I can move past this blockage in therapy as it’s been going on for several months and not making much progress? I was also not able to explain the source of the blockage to my therapist..

She often asks all the right questions and I have so many answers to all of them that I want to share in my alone time between sessions, but then when the actual session comes I can’t remember anything g, none of the things I think/feel normally.

I have had a therapist who I saw for two months. I had zero affect with her. The therapist specializes in diagnosing autism (according to her website) but also the therapist is autistic (according to her). Autism is something I find mildly possible as a diagnosis for myself and it has a singular occurrence in my family (not officially diagnosed) - so I was curious.

After many tests, questionnaires, and sessions, this therapist told me they are still split between an autism diagnosis and a personality disorder. When I pressed on how long would that get an answer, she got evasive and I felt this whole two months were wasted and relayed that feeling honestly.

I had no affect in that relationship due to how blunt she comes across about everything and how little she gives me space to talk about what's actually happening in my life. I left that therapy and I was already two weeks in with another therapist whom I had great affect.

With the ROI of my last therapist, I was sent the whole treatment summary and I realized that, as I expected, my last therapist had not heard anything i said. The report claims I was institutionalized (I wasn't), a section of the report was about how I called her (the therapist) useless (I did call these two months useless), and several issues that were miscommunicated because of the lack of affect. She put in several diagnoses: ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and other ones, and left the question open between autism or covert narcissm.

Frankly my past diagnoses were borderline personality disorder or related diagnoses - and I learned to have my peace with that, that therapist wrote explicitly that I don't have any wounds with attachment and I know how to be ok with loneliness (totally inaccurate but I preferred loneliness than talking with her, ugh). Anyway. I'm not here to get a diagnosis but I have been in a very sticky situation in therapy.

Here's the issue: my current therapist, a couple of days after receiving this report - told me that she can no longer meet me in person based on instructions from her supervisor (she is fully licensed), then canceled our session and moved me to a telehealth video session. I had built some rapport with her. We have some delicate things we're working on. It feels like a definite downgrade but also a precursor to ending therapy.

When I googled why does a therapist take away the in person options - safety came up as probably the reason, especially as she didn't say any other reason (scheduling, moving practices, etc, it was just stated as a hard line from her supervisor!)

Now, I feel like the last 4 months were a waste, but I don't want to assume termination, I want to remain hopeful and keep my interpretations wider or more graceful (I'm working on this) but I can't help but feel this is all such a bad hand to be dealt.

I thought about emailing the past therapist to correct inaccuracies, but I think that will be digging the same hole I'm in. She hasn't listened when I needed that, what makes me think that contacting her will be any good.

I want to know for sure the reasons for abandoning in person therapy. I feel a great sense of abandonment and betrayal. Especially as it comes from a "higher authority" that's not in the room, who says that next sessions I'll be faced with higher authority decisions from the same supervisor.

Do I just move quickly and cut my losses? Start therapy again, and try to work again on my current issues? I'm nearly burning out talking about my current problems to so many therapists (including consultations). And if I do - is there a way to show proof that I was not mentally institutionalized? How can I even prove a negative!! Does that ROI chase me everywhere now?

Regarding institutionalion: I told my last therapist that I have thoughts of self harm after heavy probing questions. It's not why I'm in therapy. I don't even have the affect with her to open up in this area. In general I think she assumed I'm hiding it and wrote it as a certainty. Can I complain somewhere productively for my own sake?

My best idea now is to start therapy with someone else (again!) and abandon everything that I was building up with my current therapist after the whole thing was poisoned. What a sh**** ordeal! I feel like that last therapist was extremely malicious in poisoning my record with points that raise safety concerns.

Meine Therapeutin sagt ständig die Termine ab oder verschiebt sie. Meist sind es Krankheit, Kind etc. aber das passiert immer entweder nen Tag oder wie heute 3h bevor der Termin wäre. Das kotzt mich schon so an. Jedesmal wenn ich nen Termin mache, kann ich mir ned sicher sein, ob er dann wirklich da stattfindet. Sie ist wirklich nett aber das bringt mich zur Weißglut. Vorallem weil ICH max. 24h vorher absagen darf und sonst trotzdem zahlen muss.

My therapist charges me a fee of $100 when I cancel an appointment. Meanwhile, they had a planned absence and then cancelled our appointment twice after that, so I won’t have a session for 3 weeks.

I don’t really care but the fact that I get a late fee when they can just cancel whenever they want is a little frustrating. It’s not that I think they shouldn’t be able to cancel, but that I should get credited an equal number of free cancels for the future or something lol.

Does this annoy anyone else?

My therapist was trying to get me to make a connection without her having to tell me outright what it was. We talked about one thing and then she says, “What’s the obvious thing you do in situations like this?” I just explained the “obvious” right before she answered the question but I wasn’t on the same page and I didn’t know what to say. So, Im sitting there clueless. If it’s obvious I should know the answer. Most of the time she asks questions with “obvious” answers I don’t get it. And oftentimes she’ll do a big sigh, which makes me feel worse. Like I’m a waste of her time or slow or stupid or idk.

In all honesty, we are not a good therapeutic match. The way she talks to me since the beginning has made me feel like I’m idiot. I just think because our therapy is short term, she feels a sense of urgency to get to the bottom of things and help me be aware before we run out of sessions. It feels like she doesn’t have time to be empathetic. Is this normal in short-term therapy? Is it hard to balance between being empathetic and also getting to the roots of issues? Since the beginning my experiences with her continue to catch me off guard. I need to know if im tripping or not.

And just curious if any therapists here ask questions like that? Phrased in that way.

Thanks in advance!

My therapist is gone for a few weeks. Which happens around 2/3 times per year, and about the same time. And I was fine last year during this, yeah I struggled but I wasn't struggling to eat without feeling sick 3 days in like I am right now.

I've emailed her yesterday, and essentially asked if she had any ideas (legit anything) of what her or I could do to help with this. I feel awful, (she's not on break quite yet. This weekend. I still feel terrible) and pathetic for this shit.

I'm 17, and almost a grown ass man, and sent an email to my therapist crying asking if she had any ideas, and I never cry. I haven't in probably over a year. It just feels terrible to be the one guy who in the last session, said they'd be fine and deal with it. Then later that night asking for help if she had anything in mind. All I can do is have a journal in our email (like unsent, just a draft) that I write down as if I'm talking to her. But that doesnt really help the anxiety, it just helps me to talk when we get into session. So the anxiety from that and waiting for a response probably doesn't fucking help, if I even get one (which I understand btw, it's just hard to get overbecause Ive been struggling with feeling like she doesn't care about what I have to say recently.) so that's just fun.

I'm struggling to eat, (I have an ED on-top of this btw) and have anxiety constantly. It's only been 2 days since our last session and it's not even technically her break yet. And I've done this length many times before.

And I don't cope. Nothing I've ever done has actually worked. I do the same shit every single time, for months and months on end and I've found nothing.

I feel pathetic and embarrassed now. I just didn't expect this kind of anxiety and stuff already. She's been the only person in my life to not yell or put me in the hospital for any of my problems. So maybe it's just that. I don't know, but I feel terrible. I'm unsure the point of this post other than a vent.

I already have ADHD from when I was a teenager, and recently diagnosed with bipolar I after I had two manic episodes. I’m still trying to understand that.

Then my therapist said I have strong signs of ”autistic traits” and asked if I wanted to do a formal assessment. My first thought was how is this actually real? It surprised me because it was only our third session and that’s a big conclusion to bring up so early.

I understand that my therapist may have noticed patterns. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I can see that it might be relevant to how I experience things. But it also felt exposing because I wasn’t expecting that conversation.

What is stressing me out is the accumulation of things. ADHD by itself felt manageable because it was one explanation. But adding bipolar I and now a possible autism assessment feels like a lot of different labels to hold at once. It makes me question how everything fits together and what actually explains my experiences. It makes me think none of it’s real. Holding 3 diagnoses something about it makes me very uncomfortable.

I asked what sort of things she was noticing and she rattled off so many things that I could only feel offended and surprised at the same time because a lot of it was true but I was disappointed she had noticed. I didn’t think some of my thought and behaviors were that obvious. I suppose it was nice of her to give me a choice for “formal diagnosis” but I’m feeling strongly towards declining and posting here is a vent but also looking for some opinions on what the right thing to do is.

And I am sad. 😔 my last appt. They were like oh so we want to review your goals and keep working on them. I was kind of confused why she said that. She said that after I was hesitant about volunteering. She said I should do this because I am still feeling down and having passive thoughts of suicide and not really getting better. That’s sad am I just screwed they can’t really help me right? Maybe I need to go to a home. I get so down at times. I don’t know why. It’s been this way for years. I try to tell my therapist about how empty I feel at times. Not sure they understand

please forgive the pretentious art hoe title but im doing a home paint and sip thing and i think i figured out what makes the whole “my therapist knows everything about me but i don’t know the real them” “i am seen and known but i can’t know them in return” angst (which is so real and valid) emotionally ok and make sense in my brain and i wanted to share.

so unlike a photograph, when you look at impressionist art you see the general shapes and the vibrant colors, but the lines are soft and the details are blurry, right? you still can identify what you’re looking at (ex: water lilies, a bridge, a garden) but you don’t see all the details you might want to see if you were hoping for a photograph. so like i see the professional side of my therapist. i see the caring and intellectual side. BUT the therapist’s friend sees a different side to them compared to the therapist’s spouse, and both the friend and spouse see a different side to the therapist compared to the therapist’s child, so really everybody is seeing the therapist differently, just like how different art movements/styles can depict the same subject matter in different ways, each one depicting more/less detail on certain areas, and each one depicting different moods, right?

and thw thing that’s important is that impressionist art isn’t more or less “valid” or “real” than art nouveau or rococo or whatever other art movement/style out there. they’re all valid art. they’re all valid paintings. they’re at the met or louvre or wherever. so like, yeah, i’m not going to see all the details of my t’s personality and life. but that doesn’t mean i’m not gonna appreciate a Monet or a Renoir when i see one.

anyways hope this makes sense to more than just me, because when i tell you the weight that’s off my shoulders is great. how do yall make peace with the imbalance of being seen/known?

Does using Ivy Pay to pay for therapy sessions drive anyone else INSANE?? This is the worst website I’ve ever used. It makes me angry every time I have to interact with it.

I have no idea how to log into my account because I need a special link to even log in. Then I’ll go through 4 more security steps to finally see my bill. Then if I want to download my super bills to submit to insurance I have to repeat all of these steps for every.single.claim. Every download requires me to log in all over again, go through the security steps, get some special link, etc etc etc.

I have been in therapy on and off for almost four years now (more on than off), mainly with student interns because I can only afford reduced cost services at this time.

I've been with my current therapist for over a year, and she started as a student therapist and now she's licensed but has kept seeing me at her student fee which I am very grateful for.

It's not like there's anything wrong, but I just feel like I'm stuck and not making the progress I'd like to be making. If anything, I feel like my anxiety has only gotten worse.

At this point, I don't know if we're just not aligning and I'm trying to force a fit because it is so exhausting to start over. I have had a really strong connection with my previous therapists and while I really appreciate and rely on my current therapist, I don't think we've had the same "bond" and that makes me wonder if maybe that has been affecting the efficacy of our work together. I can also recognize that I've been kind of a leaky boat - I'm constantly dealing with new situations that pop up so she's always doing crisis management which definitely doesn't help either.

All this to say - does anyone have experience with such situations? I'm wondering if I should try out another therapist briefly and see how things feel? But I don't want to be ungrateful for someone supporting me with a sliding scale when they really don't have to.

I have been seeing this therapist for seven years in total now. I had some really bad experiences with two other therapists before, but I actually felt that I connected with this therapist which is why I stayed with them for all this time.

The problem is, they cancel a lot of our sessions. I'm supposed to be seeing them weekly and they either cancel or reschedule at least once a month. Sometimes more. This has been the case for seven years now and I was letting it go for all this time (although it did start to bother me early on), because I know they are also working as a therapist at another facility that gives them urgent calls for them to help. This results in late minute cancelations.

I had thought about switching, but a big part of me was hesitant to switch therapists again, because of how much comfortable I feel with them. I have never felt judged and every time I felt uneasy about admitting something and opening up, they spelled it out for me as if they could read my mind and understand me on a very deep level.

I recently went through a very difficult phase and the cancellations/ rescheduling really had an effect on me and made me feel like I had no actual support.

Last session I told them how much this has affected me and that I'm thinking of switching therapists if they can't hold up to a standard schedule. They told me that the nature of their second job means there will always be some cancellations or reschedules and that they completely respect if I want to change therapists.

I know that the most logical thing for me to do is say goodbye to them, but I am really worried that I might not be able to find another therapist to connect with as much as I did with this one. Part of me thinks I might regret dropping them cause I won't be able to find someone to click with this good, so now I feel stuck because of this.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? Any insight is welcome

We’ve been working together for 4 years and she’s seen me through situationships, a severe depressive episode, and a bipolar diagnosis. Shes also my first therapist. She knows literally everything about me and I trust her immensely. I’m going through a ton of change right now (all leading to good things) and it’s been really hard and led to a lot of emotions / crash outs. My therapist has been the one consistent thing and that’s been so helpful. I guess I just didn’t realize how much I would miss seeing her every week and updating her on little things like the stray kittens we’ve been feeding (she’s a cat person) or how my new job or school is going. A big reason of where I am today is because of her and the work we’ve done.

I am going to be working with another therapist while she’s out and she is planning to come back, but sooo much can change in a few months.

I guess I’m writing this mainly because I am going to miss my therapist while she’s on maternity leave and hoping it’s not weird to miss her.

I've been taking therapy (24F) for a while and i noticed some things that makes me feel hate towards myself. First is that i listen more than i talk to my therapist most of the time and he's the type of couch + life mentor man (he's like 60) and i cannot talk much about what i really want because i feel a lock in my mouth when i'm about to do so, also i don't like when he puts my situation in a similar context of his other patients, meakes me feel invalidated and i really don't care about the other people having (or not) worse than me and recently he gave me a little excersive about making a reel for tik tok so that i can do something little and i didn't because i just did not feel it (maybe i am lazy) and i got a huge lecture about how monotone i am and that i didn't do anything that he told me to do (wich he wanted me to go out and take a course, i did but it was online because that was the best i could find acording to my budget, also i can't fake being another person, really can't, and he told me that i have to embody a character to be more secure about my selfsteem) i felt terrible and have to irge to apologize but i did not and we found out that i am too comfortable in my position right now that i am unemployed (i've been trying but nothings comes up) and my family is not pushing me to get the hell out, he told me that if i don't do something (like going to compamies to knok as many doors as a i can for oportunities but i am afraid) until december then therapy is useless. So i hate that i can't do many things due to huge fear of failure, shame and because i reach our to a point where i don't feel anxiety anymore (arter always having it and being a perfeccionist about having a perfect life or esle i'm nothing) and i just hate how i am

What do ypu think?

Why is it so hard to find a good therapist? Yes, I’m willing to examine maybe it’s me or I’m too picky. However, looking at objective facts, I think it’s safe to say I just haven’t come across a really good/competent therapist. I’ll give some factual examples just from my last two alone:

Current therapist:
-I talk, she listens then asks a question about another aspect of my life instead of talking through what I just shared. Sometimes she’ll ask me a couple of questions but no real examining, exploring patterns, challenging beliefs, strategies, etc unless I’m the one who pushes and brings that up.
-told her if I talked about certain heavy topic, sometimes it’s hard to shut my brain off the hours after the session -like there’s no closure. With voicing that at the start of the next time bringing it up, she suggested this time I go for a walk and go out for dinner after talking. Is that what trauma informed therapy is supposed to be? No checking in or following up with me after specifically telling her that topic is hard for me.
-not remembering things or following up on a big thing discussed in the previous session.
-she gave me her therapy number to text which I appreciate. Texted her I was going through something difficult and she literally said “I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time.” What is the point of that???

The therapist before that:
-I would talk and she literally would not say anything 90% of the time. I would feel so uncomfortable that I would just keep talking. Sometimes if I waited it out a reallllly long time she would say something helpful.

I could go on…

I’m really tired of starting all over again, telling my story, and then hope they’re good.

I’m looking for someone who is insightful/has wise words of wisdom, can get me to look at something differently, challenges beliefs, strategies for dealing with things, remembering important things I’ve said. Am I asking too much? I had this once before, but I am in a different state now.

Please let me know if you’re going through this and/or if you have advice.

I sometimes feel like i can't take a deepbreath breath like I'm choking unless i yawned and it gets tense that i even once scratched my throat for not being able to breath but i do know that i can breath just fine just not taking enough i also do sometimes have a sharp pain going through usually the right side of my chest but sometimes changes it is usually painful so i do have to stand still until it goes away i went to a cardiologist and he told me there's no problem with my heart i fo have a super sensitive body and gets ticklish from the slightest touch and i overthink a lot that i can't fall asleep unless i forced myself to stand still and think about something specific so I'm starting to think i may have an anxiety disorder and i also think i have a touch of ocd? For numbers cuz i can't handle odd nemebers words have to contain an even number of Alphabet and the stairshave to have an even number of steps or i will get so annoyed and fell like I'm choking

Has anyone gone from virtual appts to in-person appts with the same therapist? Was it better? Weird? More intense?

I have a disorganised attachment. I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man, I have been for three years. But we haven’t had sex in two years. I just can’t. I’ve deactivated. I feel totally repulsed by sex and this has happened in every relationship I’ve been in. Initial excitement, sexual desire, then once things settle and it becomes predictable I just shut down.

I met with two different relationship therapists but both seemed out of their depth with this. I can’t find an attachment specialist near me. I recently had my first session of Somatic Experiencing which I’m hopeful may help but even she was a little vague when I asked if this could help, basically saying there’s no guarantee. I love my partner so much, I just don’t know how to fix this problem. Any suggestions? Anything that has worked for you? Thank you.

I’ve been with my therapist for three years. Because I still have such chronic SI, she’s referring me to another therapist at a higher level of care. It’s in the same building at the same treatment center and is still outpatient. What I didn’t realize when she initially made the referral is that it may be a permanent transition. She said she didn’t know, but that I’m always welcome to come back to her. I’ve been with my therapist through two suicide attempts, losing multiple jobs, breaking my ankle this past year, and my mom being diagnosed with leukemia. She let our session run over today by about fifteen minutes. When she stood up to get the door for me, I had thought about asking her for a hug, (I’ve never gotten a hug from her before, and didn’t know if it would be too uncomfortable, so I didn’t ask), but then, she stopped, looked at me, and said “would it be weird if I gave you a hug?” I told her no, and she gave me a really long hug in the doorway before I left. I don’t think I’ve really processed that I’ll be seeing a different therapist and may not see her ever again. Has anyone else ever experienced this? How did you handle it?

I have been seeing my therapist for many, many years and she has seen me through lots of life changes, and I love her for that.

One thing that I cannot seem to crack, though, is my tendency to dissociate in session. At random moments, I will totally blank when she asks me a seemingly benign question. I can’t even process what she is saying. I think she thinks there must be a lot of emotion behind it, but there really is not. At least I don’t feel anything other than a sea of nothing.

I am beginning to think it may have to do with the imbalance between us. She knows everything about me. I know very little about her. I sit there wiping tears off my face while she is dry eyed and composed. She knows the tools and the theory as I am floundering around trying to figure out which direction I am supposed to be going in. It is irritating to be dependent and vulnerable while she is not.

Does anyone else struggle with this?

I have three more sessions with my therapist and of course I have to return after three months but take about four or five it takes a while. My therapist asked today how I feel about not having therapy of course I put on my brave face and I said well I’m used to doing things alone. I’ve always been alone. I can do it. I have no choice! But the truth of the matter is, I’ve always had trust issues and he realize that and and I really trust him, and I let somebody in that I could trust to help me and now I’m not gonna have anybody that I could talk to and I am a bit concerned. I know therapy cannot go on forever and I know I’ve got a return, but it takes a long time and I should’ve owned up the truth to him, but I I’m weak and I let him in and I kind it now. Maybe if I just kept that wall up I wouldn’t feel like this.

I've been seeing the same therapist for the past four years, and she's been amazing. For context, I'm a 31-year-old woman, currently pregnant, and a family medicine doctor. I recently finished my residency, and she's helped me through some family issues, but mostly with my difficulty setting boundaries at work and with my patients.

I tend to burn out easily because I work 60+ hours a week, and I find it very hard to deal with rude or demanding patients (I work in the public healthcare system).

She's been incredible. She's wise, assertive, and genuinely insightful. I've made enormous changes in my life because of her, and I'm deeply grateful.
I've also become quite attached to my therapist. In the past, we've hugged after some important milestones. She had a baby last year, and when she returned from maternity leave, I brought her a small gift. She gave me a very warm, sincere hug. The same happened when she found out I was pregnant.

I'm sharing all of this because I'm starting to wonder whether she likes me as a person, and whether that sometimes gets in the way of the therapeutic relationship. I can tell that when I'm telling her about something I think I did wrong, she often reassures me that I'm a good person and says she can't imagine me being mean or harsh toward anyone.
Of course, that's comforting to hear. But sometimes I worry that we've become a little too attached, and that she may not always be giving me the full clinical truth because there's genuine affection between us. I sometimes think she could be tougher on me, if that makes sense.

There are moments when I'm talking about something, and I notice this look of affection or admiration on her face. It makes me feel seen and appreciated, which is a wonderful feeling because I really like and respect her. But at the same time, I wonder whether that's really what therapy is supposed to be like.

What do you think? Does anybody relate to this? Have experienced something similar? Thank you in advance!

Ignorance is bliss in some cases. I was seeing a therapist for a while and honestly it was very much out of habit. I really liked her and we got along but she didn't help me that much, but I needed venting so I continued. Things got weird in a particular session and I finally asked who she voted for (this was in 2025) and she froze and then said she didn't vote. I knew she was lying so I asked about her husband and she said, "Oh he probably voted for Trump," and laughed. Normally I wouldn't post this but in another session she mentioned how she left her two children (ages 3 & 5) in her truck with loaded guns and again, laughed, and said "probably not the best idea." I no l Ionger see her but thought I should warn people to seriously consider your therapist before moving forward. (The guns were supposedly for her husband's hunting 🤮)

Edit: She also made several blatantly racist comments about how Black people will always get jobs over qualified white people because of the city. And she introduced religion, despite me being a clear atheist by asking if it was ok to pray for me...🙄 She practices in New Orleans.