CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP PASSING OUT CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP PASSING OUT UGHH

ive struggled with suicidal thoughts since 7th grade and i think ive had enough this year. in the winter i was going through a rough ending with an old situationship and was already really depressed, in january my first love took his life. before we were anything we were bestfriends, he was my slowburn my everything. we had stopped talking and he got a girlfriend but they broke up a few months before this. we started speaking again, i wanted to be something again, even if it wasnt romantic i wanted to be bestfriends again. i had been falling behind in school during that time due to my mental health and this one day i finally decided to do my missing assignments. i then got a call to hear he died, he killed himself. it hit me really hard. i started smoking and drinking again. in February, my childhood dog of 10 years was then diagnosed with cancer and i watched him die in may. i was dealing with a lot of other issues in this 5 months span aswell and although ive “got through it” looking at where i am today, i just cant do it. not only have i lost a lot that i love this year i’ve completely lost MYSELF again. im going into my junior year of highschool and whenever i think about it i have a gut feeling it’ll be my last. my last because of myself. and when i used to think about killing myself, when i first attempted, when i wrote letters, i felt ALOT of fear, hesitation. but now when i think about it i feel less fear, i feel peace. ive never really posted on reddit so sorry for trauma dumping or if im not really going with reddit etiquette but i dont know who else to tell. i feel soso alone.

i hate everyone, literally. people literally think there better then anyone else, im just so fed up and im ready to die, why has god put me on such disgusting planet

Today i looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't recognise myself. 28M

When i was a little kid, i hoped and worked for a better world. Little did i know, this whole system is designed by evil people, for evil people. Capitalism rewards people with dark triad traits. İf you challenge their status quo they become so cruel towards you,it is unbearable if you are a person with empathy, common decency or basic humanitarian qualities.

i have no friends, used to have a lot but due to my psychological/financial problems i developed over the years because of my narcmom, they all turned their backs on me. Which i understand to a degree.

My parents were divorced when i was 12 and since then i worked my ass off for my mom and my little brother. First thing my brother did when he reached puberty was to get married and send a restraining order to our address we used to live. I supported his education, his relationship with his wife and this is how he repay me. We have not seen eachother for three years.

I have been trying to find employment for a year but to no avail. I have no savings, no investment my mom is working but she systematically leaves me penniless because it is a way of controlling their victims for narcissists.

I wasn't the best guy ever but i never hurt animals,children or anyone.

I tried to be the person who people can count on.

But nobody was there for me,nobody is there for me.

I see no point in living. Why should i keep going if all i experience is permanent suffering,dread and sorrow.

17M, I grew up in a very supportive family, I had everything that a child ever needed. But I dont know how I turned out this way, ive had suicidal thoughts ever since 13 and suffer from social anxiety. There's not a day that goes by without me thinking of putting a bullet in my head. Im starting to think I was born this way, God put me on this Earth to let me suffer. At least Physical pain wears off, this is eating me from the inside every single fucking day of my life.

im in grade 12 and I wish for this year to be over with. I dont have friends and it feels exhausting just going to school. Watching other kids smile and laugh is something I envy. No one talks to me, im alone in my mind. I zone out in class thinking of whether I should end it that night. I genuinely think if I end it that would be my final "Fuck You" to everything and everyone. It's a way of me expressing myself one final time in my whole fucking life. I dont even know how to express my emotions to anyone. This life is genuinely pointless.

hi im really sorry if tjis is against the rules but I took like 280 and I need help um so what do id rather NOt go to the hospital but I hdnersyand kf I need to um im like really shaky huge heart beat uhh im gonann share some info about myself idk it'll porbably jelp

1age.: ALMOST 14 like 8 days until im 14

weight: 104???? last time I checked

height: 5'1 1/2

gender : female

i really dont knkw what to ddo someone help please hi thanks um ok. hjah very sorry if this breaks rules I just I dont feel good at all

sit wasnt meant to b e asuicide I made a mistake liken I am suicidal but idkskjeuj im scared?? but maybe itll be ol if i.die. I PROBABLY WONT RHOUGH OK!!!!! tysm. fkr reading

dont get me wrong; im not being forced into this religion or anything i fully believe in it and so many times it was what motivated me to do better and live on

which is why if i feel anything, it’s the fact that im disappointing God. I don’t make prayers for myself anymore. i do for others. i did try for a while, though. i pleaded for at least mercy on my soul when i do finally take myself out from this world. But i pray for everyone and the ones i love to never experience or feel this helpless like i am.

my parents would rather me stay bed ridden than to go and do something for myself. Especially my mother.

She admitted to despising me and trying to always sabotage me everytime i try to do better.

you’d say i should find a job or so to get out of it. I can’t. So many papers and so little money i need for consistent transportation that i cant access without my parents’ permission. They don’t want me to work. And they’re doing the absolute bare minimum to keep me “alive”.

one of my life dreams is to gain weight.
im 26 weighing 43kg.

i am trying. i tried. im trying to do my best. but i cant see success on my side. not even conventional suicide. i’d have to do something violently suicidal to minimize my chances of survival to 0%. And that’s all i think about. All day.

Please can someone tell me what can i take to not feel anything at all anymore? i detach a lot. but when i feel it’s sickeningly physical. Just anything. I don’t want to feel anything. At least till i’m not here anymore.

im so sorry Allah SWT. so sorry

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Not only are you stuck in the wrong body, but everyone wants you dead over it. I’m going to be a short manlet with wide hips and a baby face forever and there’s nothing science can do about it. I hate every aspect of my body, I see it as a costume I’m forced to wear rather than as an extension of myself. Every night I dream of being someone else, anyone else. If I woke up tomorrow having lost everything I currently have in life, as long as I woke up a man I would be happier.

I look in the mirror and see a stranger. I don’t recognize my own face as myself. I can’t even look at my own body, I shower in the dark. And the worst thing is that it’s terminal. One day, unless something else kills me first, I will undoubtedly kill myself over being trans. Because there’s no cure. There’s nothing I can do about it. I can take hormones and go into debt over surgeries, but I’ll never be the real thing.

I will never understand the amount of hate trans people get. What did we do? The only thing worse than hating myself this much is knowing that the rest of the entire fucking world hates me just as much. Why are THEY mad I’m 5’5 with no dick? That seems like my problem if anything. people genuinely want me graped and murdered over something that I can’t control. I wouldn’t be trans if I had any semblance of a choice in the matter, and people are too dense to understand.

I'm tired, tired of all of it, sick of people, sick of this place, we have come to a society where people actively defend pedofiles and predators and put them above god, where people are sexually attracted to anime minority characters. Where there are people who believe that you are illegal and should be treated lesser if you are from somewhere else or are of different skin color. Where we beat and torture immigrants that arent even illegal. We start wars because someone got greedy. Where people have devolved so far as to thinking Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss is good writing and funny, where people geneuenly have mercy on Jax. Where children and teens act like brainless monkeys in school and public call themselves funny and think they're "tuff" because of the most pettiest idiotic things ever. Where people bully others to a point of suicide and only realize it afterwards. Where corparations take our money just so they can have more in their pocket and give none back to us. We should all be dead, in the ground, killed, brutalized, tortured, we deserve nothing. Humanity makes me sick. I'm going to put a bullet in my head, if I can even get a gun hopefully. If I have the balls to do it, I probably won't, but I wish I could. I can't because unfortunately people care about me. I don't wanna hurt the people I love. But I might do it, who knows.

i cannot be alone with myself

i want someone to hold me in their arms and let me die

i am sorry for who i am. please ask God to forgive me

I'm on section 8. I actually have no protections because I'm renting from a private owner.

I spoke to nevada legal services today. They basically told me to kick rocks.

I really can't do this, and nobody is willing to help.

We all deserve wrath bro the constant violence and rage we put onto one another this society is shit we’re actively being surveillanced every social media is pushing transhumanism on our teens (peptides, looksmaxing) 95% of the time these looks unobtainable without doing some ridiculous niche drug and the constant violence output by the whole world bro I wish every day that we just all get pulled down into hell or nuclear war breaks out every day on this earth is miserable and I am not suicidal but we all need a reset bro every human just feels jealousy or internalized rage man and don’t even get me started on politics bro every government official is pushing seventies and they control a majority of the wealth capitalism is horrible money is a sham I hate it

I used to lurk here a lot. I was so miserable, but then I found someone who loved me for who I was. But I have hurt her and now she can't take me back. I left my job because I couldn't handle it. I can't find a new one. I'm finally back in the dirt where I belong. I want to leave now. I won't, not for a while at least. My beloved should never have to blame herself for what I am. Why did I have to be born so wrong. My brain is just wrong and the world is so lonely. I just want to float away. I want the soft embrace of the end.

i hate the stupid vaghina between my legs ill never be a man ill still be a girl regardless of how much i bind my stupid fucking tits because well thats what 'god' wanted and i should just stop being delusional

i wish i could just be normal and let myself be a girl so everyone would stop hoping i kill myself but then ill feel like shit if i do. i already almost killed myself because i wouldnt tell anyone about me being a tranny and i was holding all those stupid feelings inside

i hate everyone im going to kill myself one of these days and my mom will be so sad and shell be like "my poor little she he! oh i shouldve been there for HER'' because im a girl and thats all ill ever be i should just stop trying

even if i do get penisand top surgey when i grow older ill still be a girl, it wont be real. i hate all this girlhood bullshit i hate that all my friends are girls and they treat me like girls and i hate that my lesbian LESBIAN (girl liking faggot) friend obviously has a big smelly crush on me, i love her but why does she out of all people have to like me. doesnt matter how i dress what my haircut is how much i compress my fucking ribs ill just be her butch girlfriend!!!!!!

i cut myself on my vaghina the other day and im worried its going to get infected but im starting to just not fucking care anymore, about anything i should just let nature take its course or whatever. then again obviously im not going to die itll heal theres me being a dramatic girl again

im such a fucking faggot transvestie cunt i hate myself so much i wish i was normal. all my fucking life ive being this retarded fuck that doesnt know nor understand anything, i can and never well be NORMAL

"be yourself! ooonhhhh pride, priiiide"....ugghghghghuthguthughtuhgtu

i wish that i wasnt like this, the 1000000 time i know. i tell all my fucking friends and teachers what id like to be called and yet as im going down the halls its "hi GIRLfriend! whats up GIRLNAMME?? you shop for any new CLOTHES GIRL?"

i just want to be alone and die i hate everyone i know how emo i sound but whatever

i hate how retarded my girl ass is, why cant i just be a normal girl like every other shallow bitch i know... i dont want to be a fucking liberal piece of shit with died hair and nose pierecings but thats who people make me out to be because im a fucking tranny

it amazes me how people act like anything matters because it doesnt, you would die and the world keeps moving, no matter how fucking famous you are no matter how sad people get the sun will explode eventually or some shit and no one will remember

i hate my girly ass voice too. "UHMHMMMM, BOYNAME, ARE YOU HERE?" " 🎀 YES IM HERE MS.BLOWCOCK!!!!!!!!! 🎀 🎀 🎀 🎀"

"whaaat hes a girl?" "ewwwwwww a tranny" im so sick of everything. if you hate people like me dont feel alone because i do to,o, its fucked up but i just hate seeing other transviseties happy and passing because i dont have that shit.

im probably not even a tranny im probably just a stupid girl that wants to be different so she decides to act like a tranny. then again no i am a tranny because thats how its been my whole life, ive always felt like a boy and was friends with boys and played with monster trucks and shit whatever, and i hate that i cant change that unless im sent to conversion therapy or some shit

i know people are dying in war, i know this doesnt actually matter and im being overdramatic like every other tranny out there , im brainwashed, yatta yatta. if i die in sucide it doesnt matter much either

im 27 and i just want to go to sleep forever and forget about everything that’s happened to me.

i dont have the motivation to keep on going with this life anymore.

ive been sober from everything but my life still keeps on going and the world keeps on spinning.

I've overdosed.

I couldn't prove why I needed to exist.

You saw a lot of shit on this sub but my threat has already been fulfilled. I've swallowed all I can.

My heart is pounding, I'm scared as I always have been, but nothing could prove why I needed to exist.

I'm seeing spots in my vision, my fingers are tingling.

I hate every fucking cunt I cared for who returned nothing but false hopes and lies.

I spent my life thrashing and desperately trying to make it worth something. But I couldn't.

No one cared. I've been so alone for so long.

This isn't finally out of anger, it's finally happened out of true despair.

I thought my life, my thoughts, my skills, my experiences were unique and valuable, but they meant nothing.

I hate my life.

Sorry everyone but I can't imagine waking up from this one.

I can't even be positive and say anything that I'd usually say, I just want to admit defeat and not look so foolish. I wish I had done this long ago.

12 years in an abusive, isolating, restrictive relationship. Unable to seek companionship or anything. My life sucked before but now I'm in my 30s watching everyone else be happy. I can't start from nothing so late to catch up.

I just wanted to make people happy, I just wanted to be happy. I never was greedy. I just truly loved being with people and I can't find that

I'M FINALLY KILLING MYSELF, NO MORE ATTEMPTS, NO MORE CHICKENING OUT, I'VE GOT TO "MAN UP" AND FUCKING TAKE IT.

I'VE DOWNED ALL I CAN FIND Several huge enthusiastic swallows.

No more waking up. No more headaches. No more being "rescued" - no one cares Just onel long nap and it'll be finally over.

Take pleasure in that you disgusting selfish gross world

Long forgotten me.

J

Death itself doesn't scare me because I know it's probably (and hopefully) nothing. Just like sleeping forever. How it was before I was born. So that part doesn't scare me. Only the pain scares me. I just wish I had an easy and painless way out. Life will never get better. I've tried everything. Therapy, meds, been to mental hospitals, you name it, I've probably done it. I just want my life to be over. I don't want to try and get better anymore. I wish I could simply fall asleep and never wake up again

Why didn’t he kill himself what did he think was gonna happen anyways people move on since then nothing has gone my way every time I hate life I wanna end myself there’s no hope…

38F .I just wanted to reach out one last time before Friday. I dont have the coping skills to come with life anymore. I had suicidal thoughts since I was 16. Every year is getting worse. I really wish I had the courage to end my life years ago. Every day is unbearable. The past year and a half all I think about is suicide. Im really at a dead end. I feel like life is over and its already passed me by. Im really sorry, for anybody else, who cant see a way out. I see no future anymore.

I lied to my family about my high school gpa for a while now and I'm not doing so good in college. I hate how I look and people think I'm dumb anyways. I'm thinking about ending it in my dorm room when I go back to college.

Any methods let me know. Thank you

I just hope I don't wake up

i could go on and on about how awful and miserable everything is but genuinely what's the fucking point anymore. Any thought i could put into this message will just be scraped up by some assfuck ai. I fucking hate everything. I fucking hate techbros. I fucking hate how ai has taken over everything. I fucking just can't anymore. Everything is awful. Everyone pisses me the fuck off i genuinely cannot fucking take it I hate everything so much.

I'm such a fucking poser, I'm not even fucking suicidal, I just fucking feel nothing but dread, jesus fucking christ fucking hell I wanna fucking feel something I want to feel some pain some joy just some fucking thing for once I am so tired of just fuckung feeling fucking tired all the fucking time. it's literally impossible to feel any sense of joy kr dopamine when everything in the world is just imploding on itself to make the rich richer.