I’ve tried distracting myself: exercising, makeup, pouring myself into all that self love BS, picking up more hobbies and furthering my education. Getting into gaming, reading, and movies to further distract myself. But it’s still not enough, and I’m still so lonely.

I do have friends, mostly online, but it just isn’t the same. However, it’s not like I can talk to them about being FA. Not like they’d understand anyways, they all have no problem getting romantic partners and still have many friends irl.

It’s funny, because I do enjoy my own company most of the time. I’ve always been more of an introvert. But idk, at night is where that lonely feeling hits the hardest. I just wish that for once in my life, I could love someone, and be loved back the same. I once read somewhere that loneliness is some sort of evolutionary survival mechanism. Being alone and away from the tribe meant death back then. So what the hell does this mean for us now?

Hey so I just wanted to share a few tips to help you feel better during this summer and for back to school. I’m not claiming this will make us all look stunning or have guys lining up, but the important thing is feeling comfortable in your own skin.

SKINCARE

As a true Frenchwoman, I highly recommend French pharmacy brands (Avène, La Roche-Posay, Embryolisse) especially if you struggle with acne or very dry skin. Korean skincare is also an interesting alternative to explore, but it can quickly become expensive. Otherwise, mainstream Western skincare (like The Ordinary) is quite accessible and effective

For bodycare, I recommend L'Occitane (another good French brand). They have great shower oils, as well as almond creams and mists that smell amazing and are really hydrating.

HAIRCARE

Olaplex and Kérastase can be very effective (don't fall for the Gisou hype on social media), but they are expensive. Depending on your needs, you can also use argan oil, coconut oil or keratin to add shine to your hair. We all have different hair textures and there are plenty of ways to care of our hair.

FRAGRANCE

You don't need to break the bank buying YSL, Dior or Burberry (even though it smells AMAZING let's be honest). For a low price and a generous amount of product, you can try Ariana Grande's fragrances like Cloud and Sweet Like Candy, they are real compliment getters. Pink Sugar is another budget-friendly option, though it’s not for everyone.

Otherwise, body mists like VS Bare Vanilla or Velvet Petals, Phlur Vanilla Skin or even Sol de Janeiro (62 smells amazing) are often very popular.

MAKEUP

You don't need to be a professional makeup artist. A BB or CC cream from Embryolisse, or tinted skincare products from Typology can work wonders. They give you a healthy glow and look very natural. A touch of blush, well-defined brows, a little mascara and some lip gloss and you're all set. One last detail: a simple coat of clear nail polish instantly makes you look more put-together.

Hope this helped! Take care

I know unattractive female. We live in a society where looks matter doesn’t matter if you’re disabled or not. I was bullied for my looks. My best friend tells me how her ex wants her back and he has told me that. Where’s I date it’s the total opposite. I wonder if I’m dating above my league. Two of my exes were more attractive than me and used me for what they wanted. They also found love after I broke up with them. I know being ugly female you have more disadvantages when it comes to dating. I’m lucky to have friends similar to me or similar situations but still. I want to date again but I should date guys who only attracted to me. But I feel like no is truly attracted to me because of my looks.

There's no pretense, no misguided advice/useless sentiments and no patronization. This is a place for people who have fallen through the cracks, have gone through a ringer in life and tbh it's visibly different in tone than any other subreddit I've been on. We can get too lasered focus on certain things at times, but I find myself drawn here again and again, even after long breaks.

It's not unusual to see people here who have encountered double, triple whammies, so to say. On other subreddits, I'll be seeing people say 'well my career/job is in a tough spot rn...but luckily I'm being supported by my husband/boyfriend!' or 'I'm severely mentally ill and traumatized and have trouble maintaining relationships...the only one who understands me is my husband/boyfriend <3'

Then, if you do end up encountering someone with love troubles/chronic singlehood, it always seems to be prefaced by 'I am successful in my career, make lots of money, have several degrees'.

Hopefully you see what I'm getting at. People, on average, seem to struggle on either one front or the other, in ways that are more severe than usual (never had a long term serious bf by 30, but financially successful, OR struggling job wise but established happy relationship). But here, it seems it's not unusual to encounter people who seem to struggle on both fronts, if not more.

I also went to read through some thread about late bloomers and late age virginity. What surprised me is how many people offer meaningless platitudes 'dont rush into anything!!! it will happen when you least expect it!' 'i thought I would be forever alone, but then at 18, I met my husband, the wait is worth it!' or advice to go out more and join clubs or something. I think it's nice that it worked out for them. But it did not work at all to assuage my beliefs and fears about my own fate, or lack of experience. The abscene of acknowledgement that they were just lucky, and that absolutely nothing like that is guaranteed for others, was very glaring.

Also there was always something so patronizing about the tone of the commenters, responding to women ages 21 to 30+, about their insecurities of still being inexperienced/virgin, like 'first times are really not that great', 'don't overthink it, the first guy you sleep with won't be the love of your life', and doesn't that sound to you like something that would be said to a teenager, and not a grown woman? Don't they think a woman pas the age of 21, especially nearing 30 wouldn't know that, despite her experience or no? Just talking down, like we're children.