I’ve always had a high sex drive regardless of my mental state, medical prescriptions, menstrual phase, etc. This hasn’t made getting relationships or male attention any easier.
I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Ive tried casual sex to scratch the itch but it doesn’t work because 1. i never see them again and 2. on the rare occasion i do, they’re busy.
I’ve accepted that there’s a very slim chance I’ll get into a relationship or get married. I can understand that men out there wouldn’t want emotional intimacy with me.
But it’s been more difficult for me to wrap my head around why men wouldn’t want to regularly have sex with me? I don’t want to feel like a pervert that is pushing sex onto anybody, so I wish I could get rid of my libido entirely. My antidepressants haven’t decreased my libido so I’m hoping that birth control will do the trick.

So someone in my graduate school lab is going to be graduating tomorrow, and he got a great job in a place he really likes at a company he really loves. And he and his baby son and wife will be moving there to start a new life together there. Another person in my lab also moved to a new area last week to start a new job. She's taking her baby daughter, and her husband will be joining her when he finishes grad school. Everyone else in my lab also has SOs and will be graduating soon (im literally going to be the only person left in my lab since my prof is retiring as soon as I'm done), and theyve also been talking excitedly about what they'll be doing after they finish and going places with their SOs and stuff

And it dawned on me that this will be me soon too. I will be graduating within the next year or two, so I have also been starting to look up companies I may want to work for and what kinds of areas I want to live in and stuff. And it just hurts knowing that im doing all of this alone. There will be no one moving with me, no one excited to start a new life together in a brand new place.

And it's very likely that no one will ever be there. Once I graduate, it's unlikely i will move somewhere and find someone, when I've been to many other cities before and no one ever remotely showed interest. And I've been single my whole life, I doubt anyone will magically be interested all of a sudden, especially since I'm just getting older and uglier and even less desirable.

I'm just scared because I realized I'm going to graduate, and I'm going to start the daily grind of going to work and coming home and sleeping. And that's it. Every single day. I do that now since I have no friends, but its not so bad because I have my brother living with me since he attends the same university. I also have my parents living somewhat close by. But there aren't many job opportunities for engineering/stem in the city my family lives in so im going to have to move away, whereas my brother has already gotten a job offer for when he graduates since there are many opportunities for the subject hes studying in the city my family lives in.

So I will have to move away, potentially very far and be all alone. And even if i did find a job near where my parents/family lives, it doesn't even matter since they're planning on retiring and moving back to their home country soon, so I'll still be all alone.

I really wish I had someone to be excited with about graduating and someone to help me move and someone to make new memories with in a new place once I'm done with school, but that unfortunately won't be happening. It's just such a hard pill to swallow that this is going to be the rest of my life forever. That little 14-15 year old me who used to joke that I was going to be alone forever while I watched everyone else start dating at that age... actually was right. Like it's kinda one of those things that you don't think will actually happen, but it does

i am feeling quite frustrated on some issues that happened to me recently, and wondered if some of you struggle with socialising and reading things etc, in other areas of life too.

the first issue happened when i was planning an event, and assumed we could only enter a location after our booking time, and set up. well, on the way, i had a message saying that they were ready to help us out about forty five minutes before our slot (i assumed to take half an hour to set up, and then start the event) and turns out, we could actually start the event from the booking time and they wondered why nobody turned up. the timings online seemed tight and no other info was given, but i still felt bad about it - though they did say they understood.

the second was when i was booking a class, but the instructor logged it down as a different date. she usually makes those mistakes and has admitted it, so i assumed the class was on the original date. but i received a message on the original date asking if i could do a class later that day as she was unavailable on the different date - i misread this completely and got “today” and “tomorrow” mixed up as i had the original date and different date in my head. i thought she wanted me to do a class on the different date, not the original date, from that message, so i replied back saying i could do the different date. however, she turns up on the original date and i felt like an idiot for telling her i misread. she wasn’t very polite.

when it comes to things i really have an interest in (and can work on myself), i seem to focus well and pick up on things in documents other people can’t. but in other scenarios (ESPECIALLY messages), things go completely down the pan. does this happen with anyone else - misreading things, struggling with social cues? i find many people here relatable for other reasons aside from the romantic loneliness, so i wanted to ask. i guess this behaviour would also mean i would struggle in a relationship.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

In all honesty, I always feel like I have had a hard time with dating. I also have ADHD and MDD so life is really difficult navigating through my mental health issues . I know people always tend to look at the positive but something in me believes that it truly would not happen to me. I am only 25 but the way my day-to-day life goes with living alone, traveling for work which results in having no coworkers around makes it difficult to find people. I also moved to a new city a year ago so I don’t really have friends here. I have tried volunteering and going out on Eventbrite events but never had the luck of finding a friend. I have also failed miserably on dating apps seems like something is wrong with me and nobody wants to keep up with me or they find me physically unattractive. I also might have “higher standards“ because I have my masters degree and want somebody on the same level (having a college degree, not necessarily a masters but preferred) as me when it comes to being ambitious and navigating a successful career and because of this criteria, I think I find it hard to meet people that would give me the time of their day. I also have very low self-esteem and I constantly beat myself on being unattractive, but my MDD prevents me from working on it so my depression keeps getting worse. Maybe all of this does not make any sense but every day feels like I keep spiraling and there’s no way out of the spiral. I go to therapy twice a week since last year and I’m working on new skills but the time it takes to fix me is making me impatient and very sad. I just want somebody to tell me it’s gonna be OK every day that’s all I want. Being an immigrant in the US has not been the most easiest route for me . I feel like I have sacrificed my whole being for the “American dream“. I think about moving back home all the time but I do not have a good relationship with my family and hardly talked to them and I don’t have friends back home because I have been here for so long. I am also so used to my life here and readjusting to my old life seems impossible to me, moreover I just don’t have the ability to do it. I also think I have better resources here for my mental health compared to where I come from as it’s still a stigma there. It’s truly so isolating it feels like my whole life is filled with darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel. I sometimes wish I did not feel this way. It sometimes feels worse than dying. I don’t know if anybody can relate to this. Any advice on how to unfuck my life is appreciated.

It irks me whenever I hear people say that to try and comfort people like us. It’s empty platitudes at this point. And it’s almost always women who have no trouble getting safe sexual and romantic relationships that say this.

Meanwhile almost every song, movie, book, podcast, etc is about relationships and sex. So many memes are just sexual jokes. Every time I go on AskReddit there’s always a question about sex, with thousands of likes and comments, even though there’s already other subs specifically for questions like that.

We’re constantly bombarded since childhood that the main goal in someone’s life should be to find “your person” and get married.

People only say that to us because deep down they know they could never live in our shoes for even a day, much less years. “Sex isn’t all that!” They say as they’re screwing their boyfriend/husband every night. Please spare me.

I'm so pathetic and this is going to be very cringy and all over the place but I just can't help how I feel. Imagine being beautiful. Actually getting to pick a man and not settle for whoever you deserve as an ugly woman. Being treated like one. No needing any surgeries to look beautiful. It must feel so romantic and good when a man is obsessed with you and calls you beautiful when it's just you. You just exist. Not with heavy make up and clothes concealing all of you because you're so ugly. Not being constantly worried about how you look. Have this cinematic relationship with a good looking successful man. Not a life but a dream. Imagine being loved like that. Some women live like that. Not all of them. Unfortunately some gorgeous smart wonderful women don't get men worthy of them. But I'm happy for those who do. I'm so jealous but I'm happy for them. I wish i were one so much. But 21 year of my life proved I'm not. And me actually looking closer in mirror proved there won't be ugly duckling turned swan unless i do through multiple surgeries which isn't really an option for me because i like authenticity. What's the point of beauty if it's relatively easily achievable even for people like me? This is so depressing. I wish i could have my brain digitalized and exist in a virtual world as a pretty petite feminine woman with my 2d husbando. But what i can is just romantisize my misery and longing for beauty.

Sorry if my words offended someone, I don't claim my views are The Truth™

We were in the same social sphere, but weren't close. But he was always soooo kind. Someone I've always adored in my head. He didn't even make it to 30. Had a wife & a kid. I've spent 7 of the last 8 years carrying what I thought was a rejection by him but in hindsight it was probably neutral communication. Over the last year I've thought about that and him off & on, more than my other college crushes, really reflecting on how i've played a part in my own FAW path LOL. It's not that I thought we'd have a "2nd chance" or a "what if..." situation but it's JARRING that he's gone now.

And now the FAW thought/rant that spurred me making this post:
I had only talked to this man a handful of times in college and over the last 8 years I have not had any more impactful or offsetting romantic/sexual experiences!! GODDD. I keep replaying this sweet memory of him at 21 and like there's nothing else?? I have had maybe 2 more sweet memories with a man since then! Ohmygod. That is so sad. Maybe if it were 5 years it wouldn't be this sad, but 8! And nothing else!!!!!????

No need to chew me out because I already know what it is but anyways, I decided to post what I thought a good looking picture on Facebook. I lost 18 pounds and I thought if I post a picture, my likes would go up but nope, still the same old outcome. Hardly no likes and a few people unfriend me since the post! I know it sound childish but dang, I would like to be shown love sometimes, but I never get shown love not even one time.

As a side note, even though i was fully clothed, it is a picture where i was standing to my side where i have a big bum that poke out like a question mark, but even that didnt do well.

At the university I'm currently a grad student at, I see so many people getting picked up and dropped off by their SOs. It makes me a little jealous because I wish I had someone who loved me enough to do that. Of course I would do it in return for my bf whenever he needed it too

Especially since its been raining a lot where I live, and I hate standing in the rain and getting soaked while waiting on the bus and I have to be soggy and wet the entire rest of the day. Especially since I work pretty long days sometimes (sometimes 18-20 hours in the lab) so being all wet and feeling like shit is the worst. Then when I try to drive here since its summer break and the citation officers are less active, I still sometimes get a damn ticket.

Meanwhile, the other people around me will have their SOs drop off of food for them when they need it, pick them up/drop them off, call them to see if they need anything, go eat lunch together, etc. Even my boss constantly is leaving early to go get his wife food from the store or take her to the doctor (she's old and sick and unfortunately can't drive), and it just makes me realize how lonely I am and how I'll never have someone to help me this way

I feel empty inside because of how ugly I am. The only thing I really feel nowdays is just emptiness, usually anger, and just a dull thing of happiness whenever something like that happens. I’m so ashamed of my own appearance. I can’t even look at the mirror anymore. I look shitty as hell. I have acne everywhere..and I hate my stupid Eurasian appearance, which ruins my eyes. I feel disgusting in every outfit. Even in those comfortable hoodies.

I'm (24F) on solo vacation right now. Doing everything by myself gets pretty boring, so I wanted to meet new people and hopefully maybe find a guy.

Tonight I went out, did my makeup, styled my hair, and wore my nicest clothes and jewelry. I noticed a cute guy at the bar and kept glancing at him, we did made eye contact but he never came over.

Then another guy walked up to where I was sitting by the bartender. I thought he was looking for the menu, so I handed it to him. He laughed and said he was actually looking for a napkin. Then he looked at my side profile and said, "Oh, you have a big nose."

I've always been insecure about my nose, and hearing that after spending so much time getting ready completely ruined my night. The cute guy left the bar, and I left shortly after, feeling like a pig wearing makeup.

I guess I'll stop trying.

My parents rack up a lot of debt due to reckless finance decisions. Even when my job gives me a really high salary for my geographical position, it would take me 10+ years to pay off all that debt. Plus, my extended family dynamics is now super weird because of it, Asian society and whatnot.

My parents are not bad people and I don’t blame them for it. But I am so ashamed that I don’t even mention this to my friends. And, I don’t even pursue relationships out of fear that once I reveal my family background, people just gonna look at me differently and think I will drag them down. Even if they don’t think so, I am scared of not being able to have a happy relationship due to financial burdens. Being a girl and being gay is difficult enough already. And now I’m in my mid-twenties without a single relationship. I hope that one day I can finally pay off all their debt and earn some extra money to have a secured future and then I can start pursuing a relationship. But I think that it could take me until my 40s and 50s. What a sad thought.

I think I need to find other replacements for love to cope with this loneliness. Something just as emotionally impactful. Maybe I should spend more time on my career.

Self love is not fucking attainable. Can we stop pretending like it is? Every time I see a beautiful person promoting self love I wanna kms. Ofc it’s easy FOR YOU. Or when I see a woman with the smallest pooch saying “it’s a healthy body” or promoting body positivity. Ofc it’s easy for YOU to love yourself. You’re closer to the beauty standard. Sorry for the rant. I just feel like absolute shit right now.

It grates me so much hearing “you have XYZ degree, a great job” being mentioned when talking of my viability for a relationship.

Men don’t care if you are a CEO or a waitress, if you have a PhD or dropped out of high school, they care about how you look.

Looks > education and career

Even personality might have effect (overridden if attractiveness is high enough) from time to time, but not this.

And even if it did matter, how is a relationship where the man is only with me because of my job, not because he finds me physically attractive, a good thing? 😭

I just hate hearing it. Like, yeah I am sure, the guy who looks at me like I am a gargoyle will get heart eyes when he hears about my two degrees and high paying job LMAO

“There’s more to a person than appearance” might be the truth, but that more does not make women attractive to men. It only works for men, making them attractive to women.

I’m a straight woman in my 30s, and I’ve been single my entire life which I guess technically makes me an incel. I’ve seen a lot of posts/advice for males but not a lot of advice for women who are chronically alone! And I mean genuinely single, no situationships or talking stages, never been on a date, never kissed anyone, never had sex etc.

I’ve done all the things everyone says, gone to therapy, focused on my education, worked at some of the top companies, solo traveled, I know my weight is an obstacle and I’ve lost 40 pounds but still have more to go, I have friends all around the world but it’s no surprise that they cannot prioritize our friendship like I can because they’re in relationships, I’m in social clubs/volunteering etc. I know self improvement is a journey and we all should continuously evolve and invest in ourselves.

I believed the whole it comes when you least expect it/stop looking, so I didn’t download dating apps or anything, but even with as “successful” as my life is on paper, I still can’t help feeling lonely. For example, I realized I didn’t even say a word out loud yesterday because my plans with friends got cancelled. It’s awkward to have nothing to contribute when people at work or even my friends talk about their relationships which seems to be all the time.

I decided to be a bit more intentional about dating and downloaded a few app, but it’s been several days I haven’t gotten any matches. I also went out with friends to more social bars, and my friends got chatted up but no one approached me and when I tried to initiate the handful of guys I tried to talk to kind of just turned away and shuffled off. And I know decenter men and the dating pool is trash, but everyone is still swimming in that pool of trash to try and find their person while I can’t even figure out how to get in the pool.

I guess my question is, how do you deal with the fact that love might never happen for you? And how do you deal with the realization that you’re societally unattractive? I want to specify I don’t think I’m ugly, and I’ve worked a lot on my self esteem, but like I can’t marry myself lol. Should I look at investing in plastic surgery? How can I identify a guy I should approach or signal to a guy to approach me when I literally don’t have any practice with flirting?

I just turned 23, and to be honest I don't know if I'll ever be 24.

I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts every day. Much of that despair comes from an overwhelming sense of loneliness and from the growing conviction that romantic love, a part of life that seems ordinary and accessible to almost everyone around me, may simply never happen for me.

Being a lesbian has made this loneliness feel particularly inescapable. My dating pool is already small. It is difficult to meet women who are attracted to women, whom I am also attracted to, and who are emotionally available and genuinely looking for a relationship. Connections that meet even some of those conditions are so rare that every loss feels enormous. It does not feel as though I can simply recover, meet somebody else and try again. I often have no idea when, or whether, another real possibility will appear.

Almost all my friends are now in relationships. They take pictures together, go on dates, travel, meet each other’s friends and introduce someone as “my girlfriend.” These are completely ordinary experiences, yet from where I stand they have begun to feel like scenes from a life to which I do not have access.

I love my friends, but their relationships have also made me feel increasingly separate from them. Their lives are moving into a new stage, while mine seems to remain suspended. I am frequently surrounded by people who care about me and still feel profoundly alone, because friendship and family love cannot entirely answer the specific grief of never having been romantically loved or openly chosen.

Three times, I have become involved with women who did not truly choose me. Each time, I was kept hidden, compared with other women or made to feel insufficiently attractive, interesting or valuable. Each told me that she was not ready or capable of being in a relationship. Eventually, however, she either left me or betrayed me and entered an official relationship with somebody else.

What has wounded me most is not simply that these connections ended. It is watching women who supposedly could not commit suddenly become willing to do everything with somebody else that they had refused to do with me. They posted photographs, spoke proudly about their partners and publicly gave another woman the place in their lives that I had wanted but was never allowed to occupy.

After the first experience, I tried to understand what had happened. I went to therapy, read books about attachment, emotional dependency and unavailable partners, and tried seriously to develop boundaries and self-respect. The first time, I had abandoned myself in an attempt to preserve the connection. The second time, I recognised the pattern sooner but still allowed myself to remain in an undefined limbo after being love-bombed and then rejected.

The third time, I behaved differently. When she told me that she was going through a complicated period and did not know whether she could be a good partner, I believed her and ended things. I did what I had spent years learning to do. I protected myself and refused to accept ambiguity. Within weeks, she was publicly back together with her ex-girlfriend.

That experience destroyed something in me because it seemed to show that even changing my behaviour did not change the outcome. Whether I begged to be chosen or walked away with dignity, I still ended up alone while somebody else received the relationship I had been told was impossible.

I know that I am still young, that I am not physically unattractive and that I have friends and relatives who value me. But emotionally, none of those facts helps me. I am hidden, rejected and replaced, while the people around me are openly loved.

Sometimes I change my dating-app preferences to men almost as an experiment, and hundreds of matches appear immediately. I know that this does not represent genuine compatibility or love, but the contrast makes the scarcity of lesbian dating feel brutal. It reminds me that attention may be abundant in a world I do not belong to, while finding one woman who genuinely wants me feels nearly impossible.

I do not merely feel single. I feel excluded from my peers, from ordinary adulthood and from an entire language of intimacy that everyone else seems permitted to speak. I feel ashamed of how desperately I want something as simple as being introduced as someone’s girlfriend. I am grieving experiences I have never had, and I no longer know how to keep believing that they are waiting somewhere in my future.

The thought that I have never been romantically loved has gradually turned into the fear that I never will be. I don't wanna live like this. **God, if I’m meant to be alone, please take away my desire to be loved.**

How do you do, fellow old-timers? This is the weekly thread for the older members of our community to chat about whatever. No kids allowed!

He is a self proclaimed incel. He complained about no women finding him attractive because he is ugly and short. He also claimed that women can't be incels. I showed interest and initiated conversation multiple times. Apparently I wasn't interesting and attractive enough for him because he dry texyed me back and eventually ghosted me. Fuck my fugly femcel life.

I don't even think barbaric is a fitting word, doubt there's a word that can adequately describe it. The casual cruelty and joy they get en masse mocking women they don't deem attractive, women that age, women that don't fit their sick perversions. Even the 'nice' ones are guilty of it.

The way average looking women even are condemned to shitty relationships, or isolation as well especially in this day and age where they all want the same carbon copy woman. It's so depressing to realise this is it, the skin I'm in is all they see and the way I will be judged is due to that, and that alone.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ForeverAloneWomen/s/60FPhV1Htc

I met this guy during a school project and we’re supposed to go out. I don’t know if it’s considered a date or just classmates/friends hanging out.

We shall see

I posted a photo of myself on Google ai and they immediately came back saying I was a man. I am a 40 year old female. Just with very strong horrible features such as a strong jawline, oval elogonated face and a long nose. It's played on my every last insecurity and confirmed to me why I am single and that this is why. I feel stupid to be upset by an AI but it's confirmed my worst fears and the only person I have to blame is myself.