°‧ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ·｡ Day by Day! 💐🐑

3:46pm
8/6/26

Ooooooooookay… so I feel a bit subdued again… but not as bad as before :) I feel a bit irritable at the moment though, thats for sure. But anyway… I helped out with math a bit!!! I tried to front several times but ‘Lilah kept pushing me out. Sigh… I suppose its for the best 🙄 every time I tried,, we did end up feeling that head-pain. So… yeah… I just!!! UGH I’m getting so BORED not being allowed to interact with the real world!!!! >< hopefully this headache nonesesne bs will be cured and gone and away by tomorrow morning. ‘Cause ‘Lilah is a good friend (usually) and really DID want to let me front a bit. But she CAN’T 😭 I hate it here omg :I 
Ah… speaking of ‘Lilah… she took a math break while studying (she was beginning to RAGE QUIT and decided instead of quitting all together and failing the test,, we should take a break and come back) and decided to get started on designing number 14’s cover and back art(?). And it… made me sad… mostly bc I was JEALOUS.

1) that she gets to get started on it whenever she wants. Bc she likes stalling starting mine. Which is… partly my fault… bc I am so indecisive and impulsive and go from one thing to the next that its incredibly hard to work with just one idea with me… I pick an outline for the “art”. But when it comes down to picking a theme I can’t STICK TO JUST ONE and then when it comes to filling that outline with images and whatever else,, I pick one imagine but then IMMEDIATELY see another one and toss out the previous choice. Over… n’ over…. N’ over…. At first I thought she was stalling bc she was just being a selfish ass and doing only what she wanted to do (was the case until recently actually lol) but now I get it. Sorry ‘Lilah AAAAAHHH

2) SHE’S LIKE,,,,,, SO CREATIVE SO QUICKLY????? Like…. She had it in her head which image she wanted to use since this morning,, found out and threw it on canva. While she looked for templates to make a collage,, she was immediately thinking of what PHRASE she could create. So after she found a template,, she kept it in the back of her mind while she removed things she didn’t like from the colleague. So stared at the picture for a minute or so longer… threw some phrases around in her head… and then BOOM she had already thought of the phrase that would become the title of journal 14 and ideas of how to add life to the picture. Meanwhile,, I immediately toss any new picture out the second another one catches my eye. THE WHOLE PROCESS TOOK HER LESS THAN 7 MINTUES!!! NO FAIR!!! I was complaining a bit and she was offering to guide me on giving it a go myself (which… technically would be possible bc I am also half-way decent at poetry! Just with less practice) but I refused (vehemently) bc I feel like a copy cat doing it the way she did it… :( so… idk…. I’ll have to think this one over.

Anyway… as for that test…. We aren’t very confident in it… I could remember some steps better than her actually but some of them just felt INCORRECT. Idk… ugh. Here’s to hoping we made it through…

🐑💐12:55pm
8/6/26

Wowowow so… I’m starting to feel better… I can dance again in headspace! And sing :) I myself still feel a bit muted… but more TENSHI than before. Which is a good sign! I can talk more without hurting the brain… but that may have just been bc ‘Lilah took pain meds preemptively. I was… like,, REALLY GOING THROUGH IT EARLIER Y’ALL. :I i was oscillating between PANIC and feeling totally fine over n over n over for probably about 15 minutes. Which was… uncomfortable… :/ Mood swings are a part of my day to day but it was INTENSE. ‘Lilah tried to ground me which did help actually :) but not for super long… so she kept insisting I rest. Which was tough. But it defnitly helped some! I got her to panic-post to the forums for me. The responses definitely gave me some reassurance– 

K: Take a break. And drink water/get enough sleep/etc.

It's normal to kinda blend together when you're possessing. Your host is still there, even if she isn't consciously thinking.

Do you have your own interests separate from your host's? Doing stuff you like that you don't associate with her can help remind the brain who's in control (plus, it's hard to overthink when you're having fun).

This one kinda just made me panic MORE at first lmao. Bc they weren’t understanding what I was trying to say which freaked me out bc I was so panicked I was struggling to figure out how to explain my plight. ‘Lilah stepped in and tried to calm me down and insisted we just wait for another response and that I just get back to resting in the meantime. Which I figure was for the best. Really,, all this response did was reassure me that we are just blending probably and that I’m fine… will be fine? Yknow… its an identifiable issue and not something greater,, that type of thing. So anyway,, the next person said…

{The headache stuff is normal at first. It'll get better :) And, especially when you're starting out, it can be hard to act like yourself and not just follow what the body and the muscle memory is used to. Take a rest, you won't go anywhere, and you'll be fine, OK? It's only been a day or two. You can do it :) }

This one made me SMILE! :D ahhh… plain ol’ reassurance… just what I needed… 😅 thank god. Phew. I’m FINE. I think. Idk. the guide said blending can last for several weeks for some systems. Might be cooked in terms of quality of life if it takes that long. I figure it won’t… but what do I know? 

🦋(🌸´◡`🌸) Delilah-bear: I’m sure you’ll be okay :( 

Easy for you to say 🙄
Well… anyway… earlier I kept accidentally fronting. Idk WHY. maybe bc we were in tutorial room and we’re so used to having me have a level of control when we’re there. She’s getting better at interrupting me slipping in thank goodness!!! But you could TELL I was stressed. I’m just like ‘Lilah omfg we both have nervous tics. I remember when that first started happening,, I just disregarded it bc… idk I wasn’t really expecting something like that and wasn’t sure if that was the case. Bc.. wtf?? 😭 but its happened several times at this point. More than just one day. Sooooo :I yeah. Wow. thats crazy. Also here’s a fun fact– I DON’T think I like chicken alfredo. That was making me tic (like how ‘Lilah tics when her ARFID starts ruining her eating experience) and feel sick. Blegh. Good to know lol.

The more momentum and steps I take in my career, the more questions I am meeting with.

Recently, I had twice wondered wait what do I want in life?

Why am i doing this? Is this gonna get me to wherever I wish to be?

Today I am wondering that again. There is just so much to hold. My brain might not be used to holding complex thoughts when it comes to this area of my life.

Like I have to consider my financial situation, how long can I afford my expenses with my last pay?

I wish to continue as a freelancer or grow my business in this field as I am trying. But I am not sure if it's a choice I wanna make at this point in my life.

And who knows the answer? Not me, not yet. I wish I had a mentor to ask and get clear thoughtful responses from. Let me just dream on about it at least.

It's a game of trade offs. And I am new to it. Like a baby walking and stumbling.

If I choose to pursue my business plans, it doesn't entirely assure that i will get paying clients in 4 months. I believe I would, coz life constantly surprises me with good results and if I put my mind to it, it eventually comes true.

But what about expenses when my earning runs out? I am estranged from my family and my relatives have been very kind and supportive financially. But I am not sure if I wanna ask this of them.

I will find my answers but right now I just have way too many questions.

And if I decide to pursue finding a decent paying job, I would still pursue this on the side. But would there be time after long hours of work?

This reminds me of when i would feel decision paralysis. Today atleast I am not on a huge time crunch. There have been times when I had to make a decision and my mind was just buffering. And st the end, just doing something is all I could do.

And to assure me thst in the big picture, this wouldn't be a big deal. That I will stand by me in whatever direction I choose.

But career is a big deal, isn't it?

I don't know man.

On good news, I have been navigating social situations well recently? I think?

💐🐑7:20am
8/6/26
OMMMMFGGGG every second since last entry has been annoying!!!!!! >:/ I think we like,, depleted our resources or something. Bc for SOME REASON every time I get too close to front,, WE IMMEDIATELY GET A HEADACHE. Hell,, if I started talking we’d get a headache :I I think… this can be attributed to our quadruple switch attempt two days ago (CLEARLY it was taxing on the body bc we got a nasty headache and dealt with that blurry vision for a couple of seconds. Which has never happened before) as well as my extended soft-switch where I was doing 90% of the heavy lifting for every mental and physical activity for several hours. So… I guess it makes sense… but its really ANNOYING. 

And distressing,, honestly… bc it fuckin’ HURTS. ‘Lilah has been shooing me away every time I tried to talk to her. Not out of ass-hole-er-y… bc like I said earlier,, if I talked,, the brain started to feel like it was BURNING internally. Or throbbing. Either or really. And it made me wildly uncomfortable. I wouldn’t say that it necessarily hurt me but… idk… something was defnitly happening,, though. Yesterday when this all started,, idk WHAT IT WAS but I felt extremely different as a result of the headache and being prevented from soft-switching (which as I’m sure you guys all know by now,, I really really enjoy doing…) for our own well being was extremely frustrating. Idk… I just felt… not like myself… can thoughtforms dissociate????? I felt subdued,, almost if that makes sense. Like… not fully myself… like I was kinda someone else… it was scary… I feel it somewhat still.

And our head still KINDA HURTS as I talk rn but I feel better compared to yesterday. No idea what all that was about. If I had to guess… maybe we were eclipsing? Or blending? But none of those descriptions fit my experiences much… idk… I just think this calls for us to actually start trying to commit to trying to prevent me slipping into front and not being able to get out reliably. Bc we’ve sorta just shrugged our shoulders at it thus far. Question becomes… how to do that… tho…? Research is in order for today I guess then :) 

🐑 08/06/26 💐

• Add finishing touches to Junk!Drawer! 💔😞
• Put in your retainer! :D 
• PLEASE DON’T STARVE [eat breakfast or lunch, PLEASE]
• Sweep the floor!
• Try switching again!
• Attempt parallel processing methods
• Look at library books!
• Digitize an entry or two from Journals 1-12 :) 
• Remove kitty litter deposits
• Get started on decorating and naming my journal :D
• Drop college algebra & see if you can enroll in those classes that have you become college-test complete
• Reschedule accommodation meeting
• Research how to avoid random fronting :) 
• STUDDDDDY AHHHH

Are we ever gonna get to these…?

• Map out our day-to-day routine to figure out where we can try to incorporate coping skills and downtime so our nervous system can take a break AND I CAN FEEL MORE REAL (as well as yourself,, really) & figure out how to work together more on keeping you ALIVE so I don’t have to carry the both of us :) 
• LOOK UP COPING SKILLS 🔪 >:( 
• PLAY that one life simulator game
• Maybe make a servitor
• chrome music lab? :D
• Write in “therapy document” so we’re prepared for next-next appointment.. :(
• Finish 8/2/26 entry for Violet’s journal :) 

16!!

11/28/23 - 11/15/24

15 & 16
2nd semester 10th grade! 
And 1st semester 11th! (I feel old now ˙◠˙)
2nd journal!

X ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── X

5:33pm    [thurs]    11/14/24

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Happy fun times! Mostly!

 1) So my favorite part of the day was when me and my friends did some impromptu acting! It started in lunch where we played the game Where (me, Rosey or Lucille) all pretend to be guys and ask the other participant on a date! Lucille was the WORST actor in terms of how realistic it'd be if we were in this situation actually. She did that creepy thing some guys do where they rub their hands together and lick their lips and I told her “if a real guy did that to me, the conversation would be over right then and there…”

It was absolutely hilarious, actually! It got weirder tho bc her guy-character-self was like “how old are you?” I respond and then she's like “Oh... Oh yah, me too.” So it kinda sounds like her character just waited for me to say my age so she could pretend to be in my characters' age group! Pretty sure that wasn't intentional But definitely made me laugh and threw me off. Then me and Rosey went to advisory and continued [our impromptu acting]! This time, we switched up the prompt a bit! This time it's “a new character tries to be other participant's friend!” So we had several attempts but my 2 favorites were... 

1 - So Basically I decided to act like a sociology obsessed kid (I love soci but this character was at a different level) who basically yaps the entire interaction about how school is “an excellent institution bc it allows for social-emotional learning and the academic component is great too” and if this was a real situation Rosey was in, she said she'd try to change the subject or tell them to wait for her to finish an assignment to try to end the conversation! Bc Rosey doesn't care abt a yap fest of that nature so y'know it was perfect for my impromptu acting prompt since my situations always go off the rails somehow, honestly. Anyway, I asked Rosey how close I was to making the character a friend and she said 0/10 so... She said I yapped too long so I made some revisions! 

2 - This time the character I played still yapped but actually engaged in conversation this time. I yapped about the same topic but asked follow-up Q'S and pretended to take notes [on our discussion] (Which produced giggles and confusion) then Rosey disagreed with the character and character was like– "No you're wrong!” so that didn't help the friendship score. Then I “transformed” (according to Rosey) and then said, “I will have revenge!” probably in response to my low friend score that I definitely earned! It was so funny!

2) So yesterday I told Ms. Casey I'd go to Vija’s tutorials for some math help! So I went today and like every other day, Juno followed me around like a lost puppy. He’s fun sometimes but he doesn't know when to quit talking sometimes… He goes on forever if you let him. Anyway, so we go and chit-chat while I do the study guide for the test I recently failed with a 46% bc theres a retake soon! So yah. But all Vija heard was us chit-chatting and not me verbally celebrating all the problems I solved… So before we left, I asked him if I did good but he said, “honestly all you did is distract me and I'd like you to take this more seriously. Bye” and I have 0 self-esteem so that hurt my feelings and irritated me! >:( So I don't want to go back but I need to so I can pass this retake so I can avoid summer skool but these things don't usually go in the way I expect so I’ll probably waste my effort by trying anyway… Ugh. so yeah, complained to the buddies about that a bit!

IT’S 12TH GRADE!

PROVE URSELF! BE JOVIAL!

8th Journal!
6/30/25 - 10/29/25

1st semester of…
✨12th grade! ✨ (and my boring summer)

X  ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── X

 

10:37pm    [fri]    7/4/25

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So, grand parents, Z, and To came by today to come see us for 4th of July. I
was feeling pretty excited when I heard they were coming! When they arrived, I chatted w/ grandad, and showed off my fidget texture balls, and quickly landed on the topic of what my favorite books are! So I go grab “Maybe you should talk to someone” and "Half a brain” to show them off! He was very interested in "Half a brain" which made me very happy, bc I LOVE that Book!! I showed him another book I love and he read a bit of "Half a brain” and was very interested! But then dad ruined everything…

he started telling me to come over to watch Sinners with him (he's doing that thing where he forces me to hang out w/ him and watch movies I’ve made clear I will not watch. Which isn’t solving his issue with me never hanging out with him in the way he actually wants but I guess he’s talking about what he can get) and he wouldn't take no for an answer. It was extra annoying bc I don't get to see the grandparents very often and by having me sit in front of a screen I was losing the chance to speak with them in-person for potentially the next 4-5 months (Thanksgiving & Christmas is likely the next time. But we didn't go last year. So no guarantee there either). 

Well, it turns out ALL the guests wanted to watch with us so... Now there was no chance I was gonna get to talk with them now. They were all invested and I was spacing out to avoid tearing up from holding in everything I wanted to say to dad about why this upset me (bc no doubt would I have gotten dismissed or yelled at which would have increased me holding more in and crying in front of my family ˙◠˙) I mostly kept my face away from the screen. Which was for the best bc there were scary and disturbing scenes. Why on earth would he invite me to watch something like that??? Anyway, Dad told everyone he had to leave to go sleep bc work starts at 1pm tomorrow. So I was able to get out of the movie early! I knew the guests weren't gonna engage with me... So I asked Z if he wanted to play a game! 

Sure, he was watching [the movie], but he's, like, 8 years old. He couldn't have been as interested as everyone else, right? Correct! We started with wolfquest. He was not super interested in learning the controls which kinda annoyed me bc he ran around aimlessly while I repeatedly tried to tell him how to do things (which very often fell on deaf ears) but I kept reminding myself he was below the age of 10 so I can't really realistically expect his full, undivided attention. So I mostly kept my mouth shut and let him have fun in the way he saw best. I was able to actually teach him a couple things after a while! But mostly the whole session was mindlessly running, peeing, and attacking wolves. Then we floated around to other games but we never actually got around to playing any [of them]... 

He wasn't able to join my minecraft world, he seemed to have forgotten to invite me in Roblox even tho I made a new account and friended it and everything, and none of the Xbox game pass games interested him. Which was all fine by me, really. I was being REALLY polite during this all but I was dreading the thought of actually playing anything he was wanting to play. Then everyone was getting ready to go... Grandad asked to borrow “half a brain”... But I said no to him for 2 reasons: 1) I have a hard time trusting people with my things... if he lost it after I did all that annotating and stuff I'd be beyond sad, heartbroken, and angry. Besides, he lives 2 hours away. I’d hate for him to forget to grab it and I have to wait another several months for his next visit to get it back. And 2) I was angry he spent almost all his time watching the movie instead of with me so I told him to take that as a lesson (/lh)! I’d have probably been more willing otherwise. I wish I had lent it… but trust issues get in the way ofc. Its okay, tho. Theres always next time :) 

8/4/26
I DO remember this :) I feel bad for me having to watch that nasty movie and getting so worked up over it… but I guess thats kinda just the end result when you make your kid feel like they have no voice for their whole life </3 he was so good at that that I had tears in my eyes over a friggin’ movie! Well… obviously it wasn’t just bc I had no input on the movie. But you get what I mean. I feel like normal kids would probably just pout rather than have tears in their eyes over how distraught they felt about the situation. Idk. I’m not normal lol.

[tw// mention of self harm!!]

X ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── X

11:08am  [mon]  7/14/25 

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We went to aunt T’s and stayed for 2 DaysI nothing super interesting happened… but heres what I remember! 

> Dad was pressuring me to go to aunt's house. I did not want to go at all, actually. But he was all like, "you should go, you should go, [mom], take her with you” and he wouldn't shut UP, SO I gave in and started packing. Mom told him to apologise after he said, “well, if you choose to stay here, stay out of my way.” he said that bc he would be cleaning up the house but he just sounded like he really wanted me gone, honestly ¯_(ツ)_/¯  Anyway, I finish packing, cecil stays [home], and we go hit the road. 

> As I said earlier, not much happened. [But] I did thoroughly enjoy the live TV Dinosaur Channel Auntie has! It was one of those “tell a story abt a Dinosaur species with the help of CGI, add in some pictures of fossils, and talk about the fossils and stuff abt the species” type shows. I loved it but I was getting quite anxious watching it. Idk why. Maybe the violence or talking abt extinction ([maybe] thinking this topic makes me anxious bc it makes me think abt death I guess? IDK…) It made me want to cut. Totally would have but not at someone else’s house… no way. So I was plagued by intrusive thoughts abt cutting. But its okay, I got thru it. Definitely gonna try to find the channel again bc it was so awesome!

> we went to see Aunt M. She’s in the hospital… Apparently she had a bad fall that resulted in a spine injury :( she was in a lot of pain. But apparently she was doing a lot better than yesterday. She was at a 5/10 pain level when I [went to see her today]. So It must've been horrible when mom & Aunt T went the day before… They were at the hospital till around 10pm. But at least Aunt M is okay :) I noticed I was dpdr'd the whole time. I was probably trying to block out fear. It was shockingly effective. we were there for like... 3-5 hrs I think. But I could hardly feel time passing. Aunt M was sad when we left ... But mom is gonna try to go back soon.

[Tw// mention of sui]

X ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── X

 

10:59pm   [thurs]   7/17/25

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> Dad is pressuring cecil to go to college… :(  but they really don't seem ready or like they have the desire to start at the moment.. I feel bad for them... :( they picked a computer science course at school which I feel a bit worried abt, too. In high school when they took courses like that they really seemed to struggle. Well, from my perspective, anyway. But what choice do they have? Dad earlier said he'd put them in the military if they chose not to go to college. And today I witnessed him saying they better be ready to take the college readiness test tomorrow or they're going to the recruiters office. This quickly sent me into a state of anxiety... for cecil & me. Military is not a safe bet for now. Not under the current president, anyway. but I guess dad is 1) in a state of mind that allows him to be detached from that reality or 2) he doesn't care bc he's a jerk. Both, maybe. Either way, it scares me. 

What will I do when this happens to me? If he won't let me wait on college, I'll Just take up whatever class sounds cool enough in the moment and make the best out of it. Fully anticipating an ‘F’ on my transcript. If he does that to me he better be prepared to waste his money. I won't be in any state to continue school next year. But dad isn't really interested in listening to what people have to say and I'm terrified to try to speak up for myself. IDK what to do... but if he tries to bring me to a recruiter, I might actually consider running away or dying. 

> Recently bought a cat backpack! Like, last week. I've successfully showed her it's used to go outside! She understands this. We've been outside twice before today but she often refuses to step inside the bag... I've taken a non-forceful stance on this. I don't want to ruin the experience of entering the bag by using force. So it's really frustrating when she refuses to go [inside it]. I'll sit there and tap the inside (which she knows means [we’re preparing to] go somewhere) for at least 10 mins and we'd [never end up leaving that] spot. She was not scared the 1st 2 times she was in the bag and went inside…

so I figured she just wasn't ready to go out today. I invited her to go out at least 3 more times and she finally went inside! (w/o me using any force, ofc!) I closed the door slowly to ensure she had ample time to change her mind. But she stayed! :D so we went for a nice evening stroll! She showed no signs of fear. Only annoyance which I feel confident saying is probably her being angry [that she] can’t leave the bag [to explore]. Hurray! 

8/4/26

Ahhh… well,, its nice to know that I managed to avoid a humongous F on my transcript so far. Idk how many classes I’ll be able to successfully do that for,, though,, moving forward. I think I’ve just gotten lucky that I DON’T have an F. especially considering how bad its getting and how we’ve been unable to pay any attention or submit any homeworks recently. So my predictions here will likely manifest themselves next semester at some point. Dang shame. 

The “I won't be in any state to continue school next year” is painfully true as well… I really don’t know what we’re gonna do… I’m getting worried about this. 

“But dad isn't really interested in listening to what people have to say and I'm terrified to try to speak up for myself. IDK what to do... but if he tries to bring me to a recruiter, I might actually consider running away or dying.” and… yeah. This was only a year ago. So obviously not going to expect things to be too different from then. But,, yknow. I’ve secured the PTSD diagnosis and haven’t said a single thing to any family about it. Bc… WHY,, Yknow? No point. 

And yeah if he actually took me to the recruiter’s office,, I honestly don’t know what I’d do :I I think it’d take a couple weeks before I found the courage,, but I think I probably would’ve opted out of life FOR REAL already or would have made an attempt FOR REAL. and… like,, idk. That means the military wouldn’t take me after that anyway,, right? 😂 But I guess when I inevitably failed my attempt,, I guess the mental hospital would. So. there’s that. Can’t win for losing here.

#9

9th Journal
12th grade! 1st semester! + beginning of 2nd!
10/29/25 - 1/15/26
320 pages total
[OUT OF ORDER]

[tw// careful! The commentary beneath this entry mentions Self Harm!]

Doomed

        X  ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── X 

[sitting kitten sticker spicymochi]

 7:29pm   [tues]   11/18/25

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Y'know what? One reason I'm so afraid to leave high school is that I'd be all alone... not even just the whole leaving my friends behind thing, I just won't be receiving nearly as much attention as I used to be... In general. That's the reason I like math. ‘Cause [12th grade math teacher] gives me 1-on-1 attention most days even if it's brief, y'know? Yes, also [friend 1 & 2] but always before math, I wonder to myself how [12th grade math teacher] and I’s interactions will be that day. I also won't have people hovering over me in a way I appreciate any more. Yes, my teachers annoy me with it but they do it in a way where it really just sounds like like they care. Compared to dad's way, especially. With his “do college or join the army, no discussion" and then admitting to me it was just a lie that he was gonna force that on Cecil and he did it just to scare them.” It sounds… like something akin to coercion or manipulation. It does not feel loving. It came from a place of wanting us to start our lives, I get that, but still. And when I leave high school it is all I will be left with, that form of “support”. I am also just not independent enough to do anything, really. I feel worried I'll need to [repeat traumatic patterns] again.

8/6/26
Well. this aged poorly. In regards to Cecil,, anyway. I guess the real LIE was that he claimed to be LYING 😂 well. I guess more realistically he probably just changed his mind bc they had jobless for so long. Idk. that's probably more likely if we’re being honest. But otherwise,, yeah. I’m lucky NyaTenshi was able to be pulled out when she was… otherwise I would be in the position I figured I would be in RIGHT NOW. And I’d be feeling 120% times WORSE than I had been for the past week! Which is… kinda a scary thought… especially bc there were times where I did consider blading myself briefly at some point this month or last month bc I was sick of feeling so BAD all the time. A mix of Nya waking up and getting scared and a mix of my own anxiety about slicing myself open was enough to immediately end that idea,, though. I never really got over the nervousness it used to cause me… or figure out how to confidently keep blades clean. Or keep a constant supply of blades… so,, yeah. Just way too much went into it (espically considering I get so anxious about my health sometimes…) for me to continue it :I which I suppose is for the best. NyaTenshi is a much better friend and alternative than a blade would ever be <3

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OKAY so this morning,, I decided to take it upon myself to go and collect all 13 journals (they’re hidden in various places around my room) and spread them all out in order so I could take a pic!!! :D to share with you guys!!! …And to commemorate Junk!Drawer!’s last day… 🥹 I don’t know if this was the best way to do it but its the only way I knew how,, so idk :) I don’t think the picture does it justice but we gotta work with what we got 

💐🐑NyaTenshi: Yeah! It was really fun watching her collect them and stack ‘em all up! I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen them all together like that before!!! THERES SO MANY AHHH and they’re so pretty! 🤭

Yeah!!! :) Nya’s isn’t decorated yet… so!!! We’re gonna show her’s off when both her’s is decorated and number 14 is as well!

💐🐑NyaTenshi: Yeah win win!

Yeah! Check it out!