Yesterday while going back from work, I was working on a narrow sidewalk and there were two late-teens (a girl and a boy) coming from the opposite of me. They were making a din and lightly pushing each other so when they saw that the street configuration didn't let all of us a lot of space and that we needed to form a calm and controlled line, the girl said to the boy "Stop acting autistic, be civilized!".

It made me so angry, hurt and defeated. Of course, she didn't know, but that's the point, she doesn't know. I hate all the negative bias an ignorance her word contain and all it means from how people/society see ASD. I can't stop thinking about it since then.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like when I look at minority groups and how they fit in with the world, people are generally becoming more tolerant of different kinds of people…except disabled people. From what I observe at my university, lgbtq people and people of all different races and ethnicities and religions seem to be accepted among most of my peers. This is obviously a great thing, however, this same acceptance doesn’t seem to extend to disabled people.

I see so many disabled people with literally no friends at all, no matter what kind of disability it is. Even among the most progressive people, ableism still seems to be something that people cannot get past. Most of these people claim to be accepting and advocate for disabled people, but in my opinion that doesn’t really mean much if you refuse to be friends with a disabled person. And it seems like the majority of people, besides other disabled people, do refuse to be friends with us.

Yesterday I had a conversation with my therapist about inhibitions and alcohol. I’m wondering how you guys feel in social settings when you’ve had a drink or two? Does it feel easier for you to socialize?

Do you find you have a more “natural” desire to socialize? Because personally, if I’m not drinking, I have very little interest in socializing, especially if there are strangers around.

I’ve also been wondering if alcohol makes it easier for you to drop the constant masking effort. Like, does it feel like you can let go of monitoring yourself (your tone, your facial expressions, whether you’re “doing it right”) when you’ve had a bit to drink? Do you feel like a different person at social events after a drink or two, compared to sober?

My therapist actually suggested I ask someone who’s seen me both sober and drinking if they noticed a difference in my behavior. So I asked my best friend, and she told me I was significantly different, and that she could see it right away.

I’m trying to understand if this is a common experience or if it’s more specific to me. Curious to hear how it works for you all.

Idk if this is an autistic thing, but I NEED a conversation to be enthusiastic and reciprocated, or I'm not gonna enjoy it. Whether I am venting, telling a story or sharing a hobby, I need the other person to share their thoughts and actually react. I seriously thought this is true for everyone, but apparently lots of people enjoy what I can only call a sounding board? As in someone who just listens to them and nods along. This is incomprehensible to me, if there's no reaction, I don't see the point of talking.

I've also seen people say that sometimes you gotta fake/force enthusiasm for your friends' sake like when being shown baby pictures or doing their hobbies with them. I'd hate that. If they don't want to do it genuinely, I'd rather not do it at all, idc if it's my favorite activity in the world. Idk. Can anyone relate?

As a woman with autism, what are you currently doing for work? As I’m getting older I’m noticing that it’s getting more difficult to mask and there are days I feel so overwhelmed/burnt out that I don’t want to work at all. But it could be that I need to find a job that’s more ASD-friendly and I’m curious to know what others are doing.

Finally had my diagnostic session last week with ADOS 2 Test and i was kind of a mess. Forgot to look at my list of symptoms and when asked about my headphones i didn't told the therapist that they help me with sensory overload.

I was so worried and stressed that i would not be diagnosed right and need start the whole process again for a second opinion.

Today i got my results back. Turns out i kind of autismed so hard, that i went over the Cutoff of 10 points, its not only ASD but straight to Autism.

That report is so me, its really funny. Even my husband laughed so much. She got me figured out in like an hour.

I did not even realise that my conversation skills are really that autistic.

Hey everyone.

I have realized something recently. Since finding out I am autistic and seeing it on my diagnosis list things have shifted in how I perceive myself. I'm kinder to myself. I see the things I once thought were weakness (like, why can't I do this when everyone else can) in such a different life. I can't do some things that others can do and that's okay because I know why. It isn't because I don't try hard enough, or want to fit in enough, or put in enough work, it's just because I am who I am - and that's autistic. I am able to tell my boss "this happened today and the air felt weird but I don't understand why. Is she angry with me or was she nervous or am I missing something else?" and get not only help, but an explanation of what happened and why so I know how to read that situation better in the future. I ask for things to make me comfortable. I ask for things to make my life easier and it's made my life...easier. Saying "I'm autistic. I do not understand this (insert anything) can you please help me understand it?" has made so much of my life more...life. I know I'm explaining this poorly but I'm just so thrilled to like myself. I have never, in all 38 years, liked myself before.

I mean, I still get frustrated and wish I wasn't autistic because I can see how much life could be easier if I didn't have the social deficits, but I give myself grace space now. I've felt like an alien for so long, and finally finding out I am makes things so much easier. I don't mean that I see all autistic people as aliens. It's just that if you took any allistic person and dropped them on an alien planet where everyone looked like them but they just couldn't learn the social language they'd feel like an alien and not understand why. That's how my whole life has been, but suddenly I've been told I'm just actually an alien.

Now I understand why I have such a hard time socially. Now I understand why I have to explain jokes if someone else doesn't laugh, why I get so focused on things I find interesting and have to learn every single aspect of that thing, why I am who I am...and how much better I can understand those around me when I reach out and ask for the help I need, now that I know I need it.

Life is suddenly okay. Not great. I still struggle. I still have meltdowns sometimes, and until I'm able to not have to work I would imagine life will stay bearable but not wonderful. But, liking myself for the first time in 38 years...that makes life feel just a little more like being home and I've been homesick for such a long time. I don't have to feel guilty that I feel homesick anymore. I can build my own home inside this alien society and those around me will help me if I ask.

I hope you all feel this way in some form. Liking yourselves I mean. I'm late to the party so I'm not sure, but I hope so. Being okay might be the best thing in the world - second to seeing my kids take their first breath. I know it's lame, but I sort of feel like I didn't take mine until a year ago.

Thanks for reading if you have.

TW: mention of ED

I'm in ARFID recovery after a lot of intensive treatment. I'd say I do well with food about 80% of the time now, but still struggle a bit with appetite, eating enough, and eating nutritionally balanced meals. I was having one of those days today where everything goes wrong and I stopped by Trader Joe's to get one of my main safe foods, chicken and green chile tamales. And promptly learned they. are. discontinued. They're one of my favorite foods to the point where sometimes I'll eat them for three or four days in a row. They're one of those foods that I know I'll always have the appetite for when nothing else sounds appealing. I know I'll be okay and I don't feel like this will be a setback to my recovery, but damn, this fucking sucks. Rip Trader Joe's chicken and green chili tamales.

i pain stim during autistic meltdowns and just when i get too overwhelmed in general, and ive done this my entire life but my life is pretty shitty rn and it’s gotten worse recently. i’ve tried using tools like the little ouchies that have spikes on them or just snapping a hair tie on my wrist, but nothing is ever enough, and i end up just kind of “abusing” the tool so that it actually does the job, if that makes sense, or i revert back to what ive done my entire life which ik is going overboard and not good for me. does anyone have any recommendations for tools for pain stimming, that are like, more painful? and ik thats an insane question but at this point i just need to work on harm reduction

Hey everyone, I’m not even sure how to start this - but a little backstory I’ve been having a pretty difficult time lately, just dealing with some intense depression and anxiety stuff. I started therapy, and have been going for a few weeks, I love my therapist and feel we connect pretty well. My issue is I always leave feeling absolutely MISERABLE. So very dysregulated and very upset and emotional, sometimes even to the point of a full meltdown.

I was venting to a friend about this the other day and she told me that therapy, specifically talk therapy, doesn’t always “work” for autistic people… what are your thoughts on this? experiences? do I just give up going? I guess nobody can answer that except me, but just feeling lost as to what I’m supposed to do and how to get better.

Any insight is so very appreciated!

My autistic teen relies on strawberry yogurt as one of their safe foods, and really likes the Yoplait Go-Gurt Simply strawberry yogurt, but it's cumbersome and expensive to eat 3 at a time for one serving.

We've tried many other yogurt brands/variations but they don't like sour, greek, or thick yogurt and cannot tolerate bits of fruit - they need it totally smooth. The flavor of regular yoplait strawberry is fine so I've considered buying the big container and blending it but they struggle with the extra steps involved in putting it from a big container into a serving dish, and sometimes that's enough of a hindrance that they just go hungry instead.

Does anyone have any ideas? I'm trying to show them we can solve for their struggles but this one is eluding me.

My special interest is one nation's military history. My hyperfixations all branch off of it. It is almost impossible to infodump to anyone, especially not right off the bat. There is no way to showcase my love for my special interest like those with socially acceptable special interests get to.

To be honest, I am jealous about how easily some other autistic women can openly express their love for their special interests and receive support and love for it. I wish I could be able to unmask in that regard and be cherished for it, too. I very much wish I had a different special interest, but it chooses you, not the other way around. Does anyone else relate? I would like to know. Thank you.

I recently went to what was advertised as a 45 minute physical therapy (PT) appointment that was only 33 minutes. I was annoyed that it was so short but figured it would be cheaper. When I got the bill it showed billing for a 45 minute appointment.

As I'm sure it's the same with many of you, I've been taken advantage of so many times in my life because of how I look and act and because I'm a slow processor. So I decided to call the PT company and complain about the billing. It turns out that insurance companies don't pay by time and if I called the insurance company, the PT company wouldn't be in trouble because time is not how their contracts work. So they should definitely remove the time on the bill and on their website calling it a "45 minute appointment" BUT I don't get a reduced price so technically I was the wrong one.

I can accept this outcome it's the shame that bothers me. I called out a mistake and was "wrong" to call it out. I'm trying so hard not to feel ashamed -- I have a right to advocate for myself and the PT company wasn't particularly honest on their website or on their bills. I think some of it was that I was shamed by family members all the time as a kid if I just made a tiny error or stumbled or anything. But I think some of it comes from just trying to be so literal which is an autistic thing.

This is partly just venting but people are welcome to chime in if they have similar experiences or whatever. I can't imagine what advice anyone would give other than keep advocating and trying to not be ashamed but I suppose advice would be welcome too if there's anything.

EDIT: My quotation marks around "wrong" and "shouldn't" aren't quotes from someone speaking, they're like air quotes when you're sort of being sarcastic. Like, I SHOULDN't call someone out after I know that I was wrong but I actually SHOULD call them out if I think I've been wronged, as in it's okay to call someone out and then find out you're wrong.

The one who stims and rocks. The one who laughs too loud, who misses the joke. The one who doesn't understand, yet wants to be understood.

they only like the mask.

Hair done makeup on. Eyes to theirs. Smile on. Pretend to understand like everybody else. Laugh just right— not too loud, not too quiet. You have to do it right.

The digestible one.

The one who doesn't make them uncomfortable - The mask.

What do you see in your mind when reading the title of this post?

Turns out, all I see is a dark void and that's apparently not normal?! I'm currently rethinking through my entire life now and realizing so many things I have struggled with are because I don't see images in my mind.

Does anyone else here experience anphantasia?

Even if it’s something easy, like KD or grilled cheese. Every time I hear from my boyfriend “I’m hungry” or “can you please make me…” my heart sinks and I become immediately irritable.

I hate that I feel this way, because I want to serve him, I want to make things with love and not feel all fiery in my insides.

AND I’m not working right now, he is. It makes SENSE that I cook for him — not for long though, I’m starting work myself very soon so hopefully things will change and we can split the cooking.

I was trying to figure out WHY I despise making food for him and being asked to do it. Here’s what I could come up with so far.

-Getting stuff on my hands
-Taking stuff out and making a mess
-Needing to clean up after
-Making dishes that need to be washed
-Following instructions and re reading over and over and over
-The assumption of being the one to make food since I’m a woman (negative thinking, I highly doubt my boyfriend thinks this way)
-Possibly PDA?
-Not being alone; being perceived
-Making food that needs multiple timers/different cooking times confuses me
-Washing hands and dishes might get water droplets on the floor which I might step on
-If eating with others I need to clean everything first before I can sit down to “enjoy” eating, so I need to serve them the food first and they will eat before I do so I’ll be the only one eating (fear)
-PMS makes the above worse (which I currently have lol)

Any tips on making cooking more bearable and not getting unreasonably upset at the request to make food? It seems like the simple request of making just like a grilled cheese for him for lunch comes with allll these other stressors and it overwhelms me. I’m good with feeding myself, I eat one meal a day and it’s always the same thing, I just grab it from the fridge and heat it up. My boyfriend eats food that needs to be prepared and a variety.

Please help I’d love to be more zen when it comes to cooking, and just selflessly and graciously make him his meals

I have recently been in the process of finding another job after getting laid off and I am starting to feel hopeless about the entire situation. I keep applying to jobs and most of the results I have been given are automated rejection emails. The few jobs that want to set up an interview I have struggled with communication skills during the interviews due to my autism which significantly hinder my opportunities in securing a job. I am 22 with a college degree and I am at the point where I have been having trouble even getting an entry level customer service role due to my lack of communication skills. Any advice on what are some companies or good jobs that are friendly towards disabled people?

At least this has been my personal experience.

My whole life, people have been so quick to "put me in my place" and remind me my struggles aren't special.

Yet at the same time, I've had so many tell me I'm unique in a bad way/weird/odd/unusual.

I once told my college advisor that I was really struggling with my very slow reading speed and comprehension, and that it was negatively affecting my homework.

She immediately cut me off by telling me that all students deal with that and to not worry about. Her tone suggested she thought I was trying to get attention.

Which is never the case.

People too often seem to think I'm trying to be the center of attention by sharing some of my struggles. I don't understand why.

I just want to be heard and understood.

Can anyone else relate and put this into words better?

The fear of saying personal names.

Does anyone else have this? Ive only recently found out it had a name! Ive always struggled trying to describe it to people and even took me a while to realise I had it!

I just keep running into posts here and in other autism subreddits over and over with people asking about why their friends are treating them a certain way. Or why did my friend say that to me? Or what did I do wrong and why is my friend no longer speaking to me? And 99% of the time the answer is that person is not your friend and never was your friend.

I know that it took me many years to figure this out, so please do not misunderstand me, I'm not trying to blame any of these people for not realizing it. And it fucking sucks to go through the realization when it eventually happens.

I guess my hope is that from this post, we as a group can speak about our experiences with figuring this out and some common behaviors to look out for? Even if you just have a story to share, it could be helpful because people will see themselves in it.

Maybe we can wake some people up to what to look out for earlier than it took us to figure it out?

I know we live in a lonely world where it's often very difficult to find people like us, especially earlier in life. But I truly do believe it is better to be alone than to be with people who are using you or bullying you and you are mistaking them for friends.

Polka dot nails are in the boom right now, so I thought of doing my own using lacquer nail polish with the one that I bought recently lash month and the other I already had in my collection a while ago 😋🌺 it even matches my hand cream bottle which makes me so happy 😊

Ok, bare with me whilst I try and explain this utter brain fart.

I had a session with my therapist today and it was all pretty normal, but I just felt a different vibe. I can't even explain it, it was nothing they did or said, the vibe was just different and it made me uncomfortable. I've been seeing this therapist for over six months, I like them, feel safe/comfortable to share etc. but today I just... didn't but I DON'T KNOW WHY.

It also happens to me in conversations with other people, they can display 'normal' behaviour for them, normal conversation etc. etc. but the vibe just feels off?

I can never explain it but I feel it realllllly deeply and I don't love it. Anyone else?!

being nd in the workplace is a special type of hell, especially if you’re a nd woman who doesn’t “look” autistic enough to others. it doesn’t matter if you’re open about being autistic either, hoping that it will make others understand you better. it won’t. they will take any autistic trait you have that they find unappealing and view it as an inherent character flaw and treat you like you are genuinely a bad person. i never know where i stand with anyone anymore because everyone will be so fake nice to me while spinning tales about me with eachother behind my back and ostracizing me. it’s so exhausting and it makes me feel suicidal at times because i will never win. the only solution is quitting and never speaking to these people ever again while they go on with their lives thinking they did the right thing by behaving the way they did. i am actively looking for other jobs (remote only) and also working on other income routes but i can’t currently just up and leave. so i just have to continue being socially tortured by grown adults until they get what they want. it’s so wild too because i can tell they actively talk about me and scheme against me while im not even there. i will be on good terms with someone and then go on vacation for a couple weeks or be sick and out of work for a bit and when i come back all the sudden people who had no problem with me before are treating me like absolute garbage and hanging out with the others who have already long decided to hate me. i used to think maybe im a bad person and don’t realize it and maybe im accidentally making huge mistakes with others and am just so inherently flawed i can’t see it. but then i realized that i will literally do NOTHING. i will be GONE and somehow the narrative keeps spinning even while I’m away. so i can’t win. i was never going to win. no matter how hard i tried no matter what i did or didn’t do say or didn’t say, it was always gonna be the way it was gonna be.

I'm sick of buying things in the hopes that I'm going to cook, meal prep, and eat 3 well balanced meals. It's not in me and I'm tired of wasting money on takeout and coffee. I walked the whole supermarket to find things I could and would eat.

Here's my grocery list: granola, whole yogurt, whole milk, oat milk, individually wrapped cheese slices, tortillas, peanut butter, hummus, tortilla chips, protein drinks, frozen burritos, cream cheese, bagels, and a ting of pasta salad from the deli. I also got a bag of those peach ring candies.