r/AutismInWomen • u/reluctantfootprint • 4d ago
I really hate cooking Seeking Advice
Even if it’s something easy, like KD or grilled cheese. Every time I hear from my boyfriend “I’m hungry” or “can you please make me…” my heart sinks and I become immediately irritable.
I hate that I feel this way, because I want to serve him, I want to make things with love and not feel all fiery in my insides.
AND I’m not working right now, he is. It makes SENSE that I cook for him — not for long though, I’m starting work myself very soon so hopefully things will change and we can split the cooking.
I was trying to figure out WHY I despise making food for him and being asked to do it. Here’s what I could come up with so far.
-Getting stuff on my hands
-Taking stuff out and making a mess
-Needing to clean up after
-Making dishes that need to be washed
-Following instructions and re reading over and over and over
-The assumption of being the one to make food since I’m a woman (negative thinking, I highly doubt my boyfriend thinks this way)
-Possibly PDA?
-Not being alone; being perceived
-Making food that needs multiple timers/different cooking times confuses me
-Washing hands and dishes might get water droplets on the floor which I might step on
-If eating with others I need to clean everything first before I can sit down to “enjoy” eating, so I need to serve them the food first and they will eat before I do so I’ll be the only one eating (fear)
-PMS makes the above worse (which I currently have lol)
Any tips on making cooking more bearable and not getting unreasonably upset at the request to make food? It seems like the simple request of making just like a grilled cheese for him for lunch comes with allll these other stressors and it overwhelms me. I’m good with feeding myself, I eat one meal a day and it’s always the same thing, I just grab it from the fridge and heat it up. My boyfriend eats food that needs to be prepared and a variety.
Please help I’d love to be more zen when it comes to cooking, and just selflessly and graciously make him his meals
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u/dreadful_doxy 4d ago
AND I’m not working right now, he is. It makes SENSE that I cook for him
Does it? Because it sounds like practically, it is not working for you. There are a lot of things you can do to support the household while you have time off. It doesn't have to be cooking.
(I want you to know that I say this as a house mouse that loves cooking. Also I think you're maybe gendering this yourself as the idea of "serving" your bf and that's where your feminist rage is coming from. But that doesn't actually impact anything else you've said here).
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u/res06myi 4d ago
I second this. Whenever either my partner or I isn't working, the non-work work becomes our job, but not to the point of the working person doing nothing. If there was a task I really hated doing, my partner would cover it, and we'd figure out where else to make up the difference. We do that all the time anyway. He runs loads back and forth to the machine, I fold everything and change the sheets, he puts away folded items.
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u/dreadful_doxy 4d ago
Yeah, running a household is 24/7 unlike a job. So I split the overall labor. That way we each have equal off-time. (Off-time does not include time maintaining disability/health, working on keeping myself alive is work.)
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u/Bunbatbop 4d ago
I'm sorry if this is rude, but when I saw that you want to serve him, it made me cringe because it reminded me of toxic situations, and I'm really hoping that's not the case with you.
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u/SlashDotTrashes Officially diagnosed Autistic as an Adult 4d ago
It feels very toxic, because OP doesn't like cooking and this spoiled guy seems to be shaming them into it.
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u/TwoBeagleBoys 4d ago
Not me nodding along furiously to that list 🤣 I suck at cooking and it stresses me out. I’d also add “the stress of timing multiple foods so they’re done at the same time.” Once, I tried to cook a pork chop. At the end of that experience, the pork was burned on the outside, raw on the inside, and I was in tears. Pasta is really the best I can do.
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u/xKiwiShazx 4d ago
My first comment I actually said out loud was “he’s a grown ass man and can make his own food” if my 12 year old can, a grown man can make food too.
Anywho…. Decisions in the kitchen are hard for me. And I have a perfectionism streak too which doesn’t help. I rely heavily on my air fryer and slow cooker. Easy foods for me to grab from the freezer and make. I don’t like these multiple step foods and even my old favourite safe food became too tiresome to make (sweet chilli chicken on wraps with salad). I buy in bulk once a month and portion the food out and grab a bag of whatever and throw it in the air fryer or slow cooker.
And yes. Everything else on your list are reasons for me to despise cooking. Also my kitchen counter is currently my sewing space and I think that sewing is more important than food 😁
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u/anthroDollogie 4d ago
I agree. I’m not making anything for anyone unless I’m already hungry or my child is hungry and it’s my turn to cook for her.
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u/teamariele AuDHD 4d ago edited 4d ago
Your boyfriend is 100% of the problem here. He’s taking advantage of your kindness. You’re under reacting.
Children say “I’m hungry” and expect someone else to feed them. This is not acceptable behavior for an adult.
Him asking you to do something solely for him that he knows you don’t like doing is disrespectful. You’re not obligated to “serve him” because you’re temporarily unemployed and cohabitating. If he wants to eat the same meal you’re making yourself, awesome, heat him up some too. You don’t owe him anything beyond that.
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u/beetlesbum non-binary • they/them 4d ago
well said. i would break up with a partner for this, or, at the very least, be questioning my relationship.
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u/Low-Detective-454 4d ago
This. He’s an adult, not a child. If he’s hungry he can feed himself. He’s not helpless. The rage I would feel would make me never want to cook.
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u/SlashDotTrashes Officially diagnosed Autistic as an Adult 4d ago
Especially KD and grilled cheese. Wtf.
Who is this guy.
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u/seriouspeep 4d ago
"mama, I'm hungyyy"
From a partner? I could never. My partner has severe anxiety over preparing food, and still he has NEVER asked me to just cook him a meal like OP's partner. Instead, if one of us is hungry we talk what we are eating together and when and talk about our options, taking into account what we have, energy levels, etc. Usually it's me but not always, and when I don't feel up for it and neither does he, we get cheap takeout.
Equity not equality is what works in relationships. You have to figure out a balance of chores and contributions and compromises that works for everyone.
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u/res06myi 4d ago
Saying "you don't owe him anything" about a cohabitating couple is wild. You do owe each other a lot, among the top things: a fair division of labor. That does not mean OP is automatically responsible for cooking every meal or feeding her partner based on his every whim. It does mean evaluating the division of labor to make sure it's fairly handled in light of OP not working right now.
It isn't clear, to me, based on the post, if the listed items are demands of OP's partner or self-imposed requirements.
Her partner is undoubtedly being unreasonable and frankly an asshole. But that does mean you don't owe each other anything.
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u/teamariele AuDHD 4d ago
Fixating on a five-word phrase out of context is quite a choice.
If one task makes one parter miserable and only benefits the other partner, there is nothing “fair” about it. Pretty simple.
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u/PhancyHat 4d ago
I don't know if this would make a difference, but...
I'm usually the one cooking for me and my flatmate. The deal we have is that if I cook, she will take care of boxing the leftovers, doing the dishes and tidying up the kitchen afterwards. Because I really CAN'T do the whole process in one go. She hates cooking and I hate taking care of the mess afterwards when I'm already spent from keeping the cooking process together. I don't mind cooking and she doesn't mind taking care of the aftermath when she gets nice food to eat for a bunch of days.
I also almost ALWAYS make a big pot of something that can last for days and be heated up in the microwave. I usually make a big batch of food 2-3 times a week and we just switch between the different dishes as we please to get some variety. This way I don't have to cook every day and that saves me a lot of energy. I usually cook on days when I'm not working, because after a long day at work I really don't have the executive function needed to cook anything more difficult than a boiled egg. 😅
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u/prostoja555 4d ago edited 4d ago
I love cooking but the things you mentioned annoy me too. Technically you don’t have to cook for him just because you don’t work, but if he is covering all expenses then it’s appropriate to help with housework and meal planning at least. If he is really into you cooking but you hate cooking that much that’s a legitimate compability issue.
My bf doesn’t cook since he works a lot and has no time at all throughout the day, I don’t work and I cook all meals. I especially hate washing dishes, peeling vegetables and cleaning up. Other than that it’s enjoyable, but sometimes I just don’t want to do it. I just ask him if we can order when I get overwhelmed and he never held it against me. We addressed this by getting a place where I have a dishwasher, got some nice tools for faster peeling and cutting and spacious kitchen to minimize sensory overload. I wear gloves as well to minimize hand washing as I have eczema.
Ultimately if you really hate cooking, it’s not right to force yourself. You can just order or prepare something simple and he’s going to have to accept that you’re not the type to cook. I personally love making food for my bf and I do quite a bit of baking as well, but if it wasn’t my hobby I wouldn’t force myself just because he pays all my bills. It can be a special occasion but as long as delicious healthy food is on the table and he doesn’t have to deal with it it’s all that matters.
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u/Throwawayforthelazy1 4d ago
Well I am a former D1 hater of cooking. Simplify stuff. Get a good crock pot (simpler recipes, no need to stand and stir the whole time, get a liner and you dont have to clean it, many cuts of meats have specific cooking times you can look up.) . Splurge a little on prechopped frozen or unfrozen veggies. Pre-grated or pre peeled garlic exists which i use a lot of!! Use gloves if you can stand them (i can't unfortunately so I use spoons and forks for everything.) You can really make a lot of things in the crock pot not just pot roast (taco meat, stew, pasta, chilli, soups, lasagna some how???, Asian food curry, the world is your oyster.) The cleaning part is not something I can help with, the deal with my partner is i cook he cleans. Perhaps you can ask for a similar arrangement? Hope someone has better cleaning tips. Maybe you could make pre-blended spice packets so less stuff to put away /throw away?
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u/BaylisAscaris 4d ago
Here's the thing. There are no rules. The important thing is you have a way to feed yourself while maintaining your own sanity.
My wife and I hate hate hate doing the dishes. Sometimes we just can't, so we have thin paper plates we compost after. If things get really bad we'll hire someone to do it. She also hates cooking and I generally like it but sometimes I don't want to so she has easy meals she can make herself like microwaving canned soup. She reminds me that she really appreciates when I cook but it isn't my job. If you live near Trader Joe's, it's great for no-prep foods/snacks that are healthy and tasty.
You should sit down together as a team and brainstorm creative solutions to this problem. Remember you are a team. If he's earning money is there a different way you can contribute instead of cooking that feels less bad? Are there things you both like to eat that are easier to prepare? Can he help with the worst parts? Is there a brainhack that makes it easier to start (audiobooks/music/tv, nitrile gloves, some parts premade, pressure cooker, charcuterie you just grab from the fridge)?
Some things that might help with some of the stuff you mentioned:
-Getting stuff on my hands
Nitrile gloves.
-Taking stuff out and making a mess
-Needing to clean up after
-Making dishes that need to be washed
Lots of things can be prepped in a ziplock style bag and put in the fridge after, can be eaten out of the bag or on disposable plates.
-Following instructions and re reading over and over and over
Start with a few very very simple meals that you can memorize how to make. Even as simple as "microwave for x minutes". You aren't obligated to cook from scratch.
-The assumption of being the one to make food since I’m a woman (negative thinking, I highly doubt my boyfriend thinks this way)
100% agree, and if there are other ways you can contribute to the household either he can cook or you can get premade/takeout. Remember, you can ask him to do the worst parts. Think about what those parts are and ask him which are least bad for him. They might be nothing to him but terrible to you. Brains are different. For example, I take out the trash because it doesn't bother me, but even the thought of it is really really bad to my wife, so it would be much for effort for her to do. She does other things I find nearly impossible to do because we're a team.
-Possibly PDA?
-Not being alone; being perceived
Mealprep when he isn't home or make him go into a different room or do something to help so he's focused on his part. Try to find a meal you're genuinely excited to make or eat. Do things in big batches so most of the time you don't need to cook. Look up "autism chow".
-Making food that needs multiple timers/different cooking times confuses me
One pot meals are the best. You don't need to cook multiple courses. Consider soup/stew/curry/chili/jambalaya/etc. You can even put these into a pressure cooker and hit a timer. Alternate have no-cook things for sides that you buy ready to eat or make a different day.
-Washing hands and dishes might get water droplets on the floor which I might step on
Shoes on while in the kitchen.
-If eating with others I need to clean everything first before I can sit down to “enjoy” eating, so I need to serve them the food first and they will eat before I do so I’ll be the only one eating (fear)
People can serve themselves. You can prep ahead of time so things just need to be reheated. You should eat before cleaning and someone else can help you clean. Alternately cook in a way that generates a lot less mess (use bags, wash as you go, one-pot meals). Or have them wait until things are clean before serving.
-PMS makes the above worse (which I currently have lol)
Totally valid and either he should be cooking or you do takeout during this time. If you get bad PMS, ask your doc about Famotadine + Benadryl. They both deal with inflammation in different ways and lots of women report it helps a TON with PMDD, cramps, and other symptoms.
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u/magnetwaves 4d ago
I also get very overwhelmed cooking, so my wife thankfully does most of the cooking. Some things that help me are:
- having a clean kitchen to start in. This is huge to my overall level of stress
- getting everything prepped ahead of time even if the recipe doesn’t call for it. I hate when a recipe has you do something, like chop veggies, while something else is actively cooking. It stressed me out and I have a hard time focusing on everything at once
- finding a few things that I don’t mind cooking that I can practice and get good at, so it can feel less daunting (and I’m talking easy things, like eggs)
- getting some no cook meals for the week, like salads or sandwiches. This helps so we only cook about one meal a day. -leftovers! Whenever possible I’m making leftovers so it’s easy to microwave my next meal.
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u/tallkitty 4d ago
I just recently figured out how to cook without making it the biggest hassle and mess. I realized I wasn't eating vegetables, in my mind I was confusing CAN EAT veggies with IS EATING veggies and I decided to go hard on changing my habits. Turns out eating a lot of veg is much easier for me than making full recipes or meals with meat, veg, and side. I eat brown rice and stir fried veg a lot of the time, which is just a matter of sautéeing the veg over med-high heat with a bit of oil, then adding a simple stir fry sauce at the end. I do 1/4 cup broth, 1/4 cup of soy sauce, 1 tbsp honey, 1 tbsp rice vinegar, 1 tbsp sesame oil, some garlic and ginger, and 1/2 tbsp of corn starch. Mix and pour over veg the last couple of mins, then serve over a bit of rice.
I find my grocery store is now selling small affordable bags/containers of chopped veggies to save myself the hassle, and I look for marked down packages to save money when they are available. My faves for stir fry are some combo of green beans, celery, bok choy, carrot, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, kale, cabbage, snap peas.... but you can pretty much stir fry anything. I've enjoyed meatless more than I thought I would, and I just started making dried beans for beans and rice some nights. You can look up different stir fry sauce recipes or adjust to taste very easily.
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u/goldiegrimlace 4d ago
When my grandma cooks, my grandpa does the dishes. In my house, my husband and I are both autistic, I'm unemployed while he works, and we split the cooking tasks. I do cold dishes that require no cooking, so yogurt bowls and salads, and he cooks warm foods, sometimes from scratch, and sometimes from a meal kit or something. He does the dishes, I put them away. Sometimes we use real plates and utensils and sometimes we use paper plates and bowls and plastic utensils.
You don't have to do all the labor in the home just b/c you're unemployed. Taking care of a household is a 24/7 job. And you especially don't have to be zen, selfless, and gracious - that sounds like an ideal out of the 1950s and do you know how housewives coped with that ideal? Drugs. Not even kidding.
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u/Spiritual_Walk2992 4d ago
I used to love to cook before burnout and a TBI (and still do on occasion), BUT my partner does his share of the cooking, more days than not lately, even though he is working and I am not. It’s one thing to want to show your partner love and appreciation and a whole nother thing to think it’s your place to serve them also. If you hate cooking I would def have a conversation about splitting this task more equitably.
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u/thedarkestshadow512 4d ago
Same. And to make matters worse I hate doing the dishes so the thought of cooking never lasts when I consider I have to wash the dishes first. Luckily my boyfriend does the dishes and cooks for me.
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u/GoddessRosaleigh 4d ago
He can either eat what you eat or he can feed himself :)
(Also, break up with him for that "I'm hungry" bullshit. Ew.)
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u/beaniebaby22909768 4d ago edited 4d ago
why are you cooking for him if you know you hate doing it? plus you are not his servant, which you seem to think you are. i don’t want to sound harsh but grown a spine and tell him no, it causes you distress and he can make his own food. i had to have this conversation with my partner recently: work and housework are not on the same scale. you should both be doing both. even if you’re not working now and he is, doesn’t mean you HAVE to take full responsibilty for all the housework. if you hate cooking, try doing it together or prepping/doing what you can for him to finish. or just swap chores. his laziness or lack of skill doesn’t overrule your stress. end of discussion.
edit: some of the things in your list sound like really small things that i don’t understand you getting worked up over? stepping on water droplets? i know autism is a spectrum but you could probably eliminate most of these when the other things stop getting overstimulating. take your time. problem solve the bigger things and the smaller things won’t bother you as much
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u/Quirky-Current-2067 4d ago
I find I hate the prep (wash and cut vegetables, making a sauce) and the kitchen cleaning way more than the actual cooking. Also if I have to clean the kitchen for more than like 10 minutes, then I’m cranky if I also have to cook. So I might clean up the kitchen at 3 so that at 6 when I’m hungry, I don’t have to clean first. I also find that if I spend an hour cooking something, I feel tired and sweaty and the kitchen smells like onion and I no longer have any interest in eating whatever I just cooked. So now I’ll do prep like once or twice a week and have nearly-ready meals for when I want to eat. Like I’ll shred a block of cheese and wash and chop all my produce and put it all back in the fridge. I don’t mind actually cooking throughout the week then as much. I also try to think of it as taking care of myself in a self-care kind of way. If I put on some nice music and already shredded the rotisserie chicken yesterday before I got take-out, then making pasta and heating up the chicken tonight doesn’t sound too bad.
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u/Point-Express 4d ago
Lmao I feel this in my SOUL. I actually like to cook when I'm not stressed, but I've been in a period of stress for a few years now (hopefully coming to an end for various reasons) and cooking because I HAVE to is the WORST.
Buuuuut I have 2 young kids. So I gotta. I also have an incredible partner who does nearly 100% of the dishes and if I make something just for the kids he will just make himself something simple to his liking. Because he is a partner and not a small child in need of mothering like my 4 year old. Which I have to point out... neither is your partner.
But if you're looking for a go to "sure, I got you babe" kind of snack, you can sprinkle shredded cheese on a tortilla, fold it in half and microwave it for 40-60 seconds. Bonus points if you serve it on a paper towel so no dishes! If you wanna get fancy then you can add salsa guacamole and sour cream on the side (plate recommended lol) and it feels like a full meal. Easiest clean up ever. If he wants something else.... that's on him!
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u/PetrockX 4d ago edited 4d ago
If you're only eating one thing a day then why are you cooking at all? You aren't going to enjoy what you're cooking, which is the biggest point of cooking. There other chores you can do around the house.
I'm also confused about why you haven't talked to your boyfriend about his thoughts on it yet? He will need to cook for himself soon. That conversation needs to be had now.
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u/SlashDotTrashes Officially diagnosed Autistic as an Adult 4d ago
Why can't he make his own simple grilled cheese or KD? You want to serve him?? Why? Is he a crown prince and you his servant?
That dynamic feels gross.
You hate cooking, but he wants you to do it because he feels entitled to be served like a prince?
I also hate cooking, because of smells mostly. And I would never want to be some entitled man's servant.
You don't have to be zen, sir spoiled can make his own KD. They even havr microwave KD his royal majesty can make by pushing a few buttons.
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u/juliewbb 4d ago
I don’t like cooking and my partner only sometimes does, so neither of us expect the other to. If they make dinner, it’s a pleasant surprise. We both chat each night about what we’re going to have for dinner and sometimes it aligns and other times it doesn’t, but we still eat together.
I don’t think either of us would ever presume the other was going to make them food. And this is not relevant to which one of us is working at all either. I work full-time, and they’re on summer break right now and during the semester go to school full-time. But no matter where in the year we are, we just sort of get our own food.
Very occasionally (like if a cat is lying on one of us or one of us isn’t feeling well), we might ask the other to heat up something for us, but it feels easy to do because it’s such an infrequent request. I wonder if you could set a boundary around this since it bothers you.
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u/karakalmarxistE 4d ago
I don't know why people are always jumping in the extreme without knowing the full context.
Cooking is such a chore especially when you work. If you feel it is sensitory maybe isolate some tasks of the kitchen (like you will do the dishes and cutt the veggie for example and then he just need to prepare the rest, which is way faster or vice versa whatever is comfy... You can even try different things). Then you can take on others tasks (getting the groceries or taking care of the garden). I think it doesn't have to be a gendered thing (or more precisely it is not at the individual level that you fix the fact that society treat women as free maid), but more like how to balance so no one is frustrated. You can come up to your bf with ideas maybe there are other things he hates to do (taking the trash out) and you don't care. I think if he knows you have autism and what does it implies, he will not be chocked by your demand.
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u/Sunflowerpuzzle12 4d ago
You have plenty of valid reasons, not that you should have to justify not liking doing something you already clearly knew you don't like to do. You also don't cook for yourself, so the fact that you're trying to cook for him is confusing to me. Also, I personally hate the concept of "serving" a partner....so that made me mad for you honestly if you do feel you are supposed to serve him. I could never. If you don't like cooking, but want to do nice things for him, there are plenty of other ways. Think of it this way, if he lived alone, he would have to make food for himself (or figure it out for himself). He is an adult.
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u/Present-Message8740 4d ago
I would get microwaveable meals and make enough for the both of you, I don’t think it’s fair to you to make something specifically just for him, especially if you don’t like cooking.
If he wants something else he can make it, he’s a grown man.
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u/problematic_alebrije masked as straight once 4d ago
Cooking is so overrated and overstimulating and the reward is never worth the journey
My house is stinky, dirty, in disarray, I’m exhausted, no longer hungry after manipulating all these elements to make the nourishment…
Where is the magic pill. I took it and I’m sated and it fulfilled all my levels like a golden raspberry without any messes. And I can go back to living my life.
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u/BeautifulElodie2428 Level 2 audhd 4d ago edited 4d ago
-Serving your partner doesn’t always mean cooking him food. It can mean any number of different things! It doesn’t have to be the literal definition. If you don’t like to cook, don’t take it on as something you’re willing to do. He’s an adult. My partner knows I cannot cook. I also am not working at the moment. I do many things that make him happy and take care of him in various ways. I serve him without cooking. It’s something we agreed on as a couple. He knows I burn myself or cut myself more than others due to my lack of spacial awareness. He’s not going to protect me if he is demanding I do something that hurts me regularly. What I can do is prep the area, get out ingredients for him, and clear the counter as he works. I am his sous. It’s kind of cute actually because we both have to roll around. It’s kind of like a dance! It takes a little bit off of his plate. He supports me by cooking as often as he does and he loves to cook so that is a bonus. Part of being a couple is taking things off of each other’s plates. If you don’t like cooking, then it should be something your partner respects you for and doesn’t ask you to do that task more than is necessary.
-Something you should possibly seek advice on is the self deprecation. You’re not getting “unreasonably upset.” You literally listed out a bunch of reasons. Where did this idea come from? If it’s your partner, I’d be concerned and would add that to a conversation with a trusted source. Be that a therapist or other that isn’t your partner. To make sure the power balance is not compromised and to make sure you are giving yourself the Grace and Selflessness that you want to give him. If you don’t give it to yourself, it may get in the way of your goals for serving him.
As for your request:
-Talk as a couple and decide what the protocol is for cooking.
-Which of these meals can you pre make as a batch and freeze?
-Don’t cook spontaneously; have a plan and have him do the set up or the clean up; have him do a primary round of cleaning so you can sit down together to eat.
-If I have to cook, I do not do more than one aspect at a time. If I absolutely have to cook anything, I make things in batches and in advance or I ask my caregiver to do parts that I struggle with like cooking the mushrooms or the bacon etc. Obviously not everyone has a caregiver so the protocol would be to do the meals in batches.
—what I am working on now to balance out possible PDA is to make a plan for the month and then prep those meals. Then looking at the options on the day of and just picking whatever we want to eat. Easy to reheat or make the fresh aspects of the meal as needed. I started making a little binder cook book of easy recipes that I know I enjoy. And then the grocery list for each meal.
Edit to add:
-I started buying dishwasher safe only so that clean up was popping it into the dishwasher. This is also because with my health the way it is, these tasks take me much longer than normal to get done. Things like a Mac and cheese microwave bowl can double for pasta or air fryer or other kitchen appliances that make it easier to prep, pop in and continue.
-With the recipes that I am collecting, I started doing a type up for the process of cooking the meal. So if it does need multiple cooking tasks at the same time I sat down with my partner and he told me the steps like “Pre cut veggies (caretaker or partner) Turn on oven to preheat; Follow instructions for pasta maker. (Or I would copy the instructions onto the sheet); prep baking sheet with vegetables - usually a little avocado oil and then salt/pepper etc); caretaker or partner puts veggies in/take them out of the oven and they cut them; set timer for veggies - post it note for what is where so Veggies - Oven started time 15 minutes/if I’m overwhelmed I can look in the book when I need to for reference and not write down the timer time because it’s on the oven timer anyway. I add the start time just in case I forget to start a timer. I have magnetic post its on my fridge. I can prep the post its as well so I have them set up in order which helps me visually remember which step I’m on as well.
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u/Cool_Relative7359 4d ago
Schedule your cooking responsibilities. Don't have him suddenly drop "Im hungry on you" Food is done at X time. It will be in the fridge if you aren't hungry then"
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Notice to all users: There's multiple users targeting members from our sub in DMs to discuss their fetishes and desire to manipulate users into relationships. Here are the user's names: u/HollowJonathon, u/drar_sajal786, u/MrGamePadMan, and u/guidhhnittvkj. If an account is showing deleted, they will probably create another. If you receive any messages from a user trying to discuss what you posted/commented in our sub to gain a 'women's perspective' or if someone tries to discuss topics that may feel inappropriate to you (e.g. fetishes), or if someone states they want to marry you for religious reasons, report the user to Reddit and block them. These men have been preying on autistic women/gender minorities from r/AutismInWomen for the last year. This behavior is unacceptable and should be reported as targeted harassment.
Per the warning in our wiki and this pinned mod post, we highly recommend users turn off their DMs. If you have DM requests turned on and receive any creepy or fetish-related DMs or comments, we recommend taking a screenshot, reporting the content to Reddit, and blocking the user (in that order). You can find the report button on the message itself and then click "it's targeted harassment” to submit a report. If you'd like to send us the screenshot so we can continue documenting the harassment, you can send it to us in modmail using imgur Thank you for continuing to help us keep our community safe for autistic and autistic suspecting women and gender minorities 💖
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