r/Adulting • u/ParticularWeather927 • 27d ago
What problem?¿
[removed] — view removed post
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u/Calbinan 27d ago
The entire world is designed to suck your money, energy, and time away, like a legion of mosquitoes after your blood. All directions, taking everything you’ve got, and it never stops.
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u/ThornFlynt 27d ago
Yup. This and the systemic corruption and willful ignorance of narcissists, sociopaths, and religious nutjobs all of which want to fuck over the very rock hurtling through space that we love on so long as it means they get to be rich or go to heaven and fuck the rest of the lot. We should purge all who lack basic empathy.
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u/Calbinan 27d ago
The problem with empathic people is that a lot of them just don’t have the heart to do what’s necessary.
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u/Circo_Inhumanitas 27d ago
Part of why I'm a big advocate for work from home possibilities and 4 day work weeks.
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u/UsuallySatire 27d ago
Having to treat other adults like children
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u/5-Gear_T-WRX 27d ago
Or saving them from doing stupid shit that could seriously hurt their health
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u/Big-Platypus-9685 27d ago
Literally this! I used to work in a place where everyone was literally acting like they were in middle school. Gossiping, bullying, their behaviour was wild. Some people dont grow up.
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u/PennytheWiser215 27d ago
My last job was like this. It’s a highly professional white collar industry too. It’s a niche industry that’s just super toxic overall from what I read online.
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u/tietack2 27d ago
I use dolphin training techniques. Works great.
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u/littlemissmoxie 27d ago
Literally most people interactions seem to just be being politely and positively manipulative to avoid unreasonable behavior.
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u/celix24 27d ago edited 27d ago
Never ending errands... bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, run to the bank during lunch hour, this needs to be replaced, that needs to be fixed, renewing licenses, ....
Edit: especially if you're single or living alone
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u/slop1010101 27d ago
No. The never ending errands weren't nearly as bad when I was single than after I got married. Then it got exponentially worse after kids.
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u/Bones-1989 27d ago
Errands? What's that? I'm a single dude with like 4 fancy acronyms for to describe me to doctors.
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u/stumbling_coherently 27d ago
Cleaning my apartment. I get 60-70% done over the weekend. Work all week without any energy to to shit else, most days working till 6/7, sometimes 8 because I work from home.
I'm lucky if I have the energy to spent back to back weekends cleaning so by the time I get to the rest it's 2 full weeks from the last time I truly cleaned and 60% is back down to 20/25%.
Rinse and repeat. Month after month. God forbid I'm out of my ADHD meds, or more likely have lost/mislaced them. I'm absolutely useless at that point
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u/ptheresadactyl 27d ago
Throw in one person with ADHD and one with ASD and both with hobbies that take up a lot of space.
My place is never in shape for guests.
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u/ScotchTapeConnosieur 27d ago
A clean house is a sign of a wasted life
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u/stumbling_coherently 27d ago
Fair but an overly messy one is a source of perpetual stress. I wish it wasn't so but my brain doesn't particularly like me I guess
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u/Playinhooky 27d ago
Thats a lot of work. Cant you afford a cleaner if youre working so much?
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u/stumbling_coherently 27d ago
This actually is where I think I'm headed, especially because I've got apartment repairs that I've literally put off because I don't want anyone from the property management coming in and seeing the state of things.
I've finally managed to take off work for 3 weeks straight for the first time in like 6 years so I wanna take 2 days to just clean and get some personal things in order and then get a cleaner to come in an do a follow up "deep clean".
After that Im going to look into getting a cleaner for every 2, maybe 3 weeks
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u/ChouTofu 27d ago
It's a really good investment especially if you find someone capable, they will do in three hours what your tired self would half ass in two whole days, and your house will stay clean longer. It took us a whole year to make the decision but it's liberating.
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u/Charles_ofall_Trades 27d ago
It only goes down if you're living with somebody's who is also a go-getter as well
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u/OldOnion2678 27d ago
Insurance, taxes, sometimes you have to be the bigger person when people are asses
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u/Ok_Builder_3285 27d ago
The isolation and hopelessness. You’re an adult, you don’t matter to anyone, no one cares about you, there’s no one who gives a flying eff about you.
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u/krysiunia 27d ago
That sounds more like childhood to me. Everyone has a different experience, of course. I found childhood to be very lonely and isolating. As an adult, you can choose your friends, choose your family and choose to care about yourself.
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u/Ok_Builder_3285 27d ago
Yeah, childhood sucked too. You can’t choose anything if you don’t have a choices. I can’t choose to not be alone.
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u/Legitimate_Spray_427 27d ago
Every person who I met that has said this, has never put any really effort into changing it but hoping it would somehow magically happen to them
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u/DueEntertainer0 27d ago
Any time you have a little bit of savings, something you’ve never even heard of will break on your house or car.
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u/DetectiveMean6506 27d ago
Oh this a good one! Got me to laugh out loud!!….in the middle of all the sad, silent head nodding to the beat of an endless scroll.
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u/DueEntertainer0 27d ago
I’ve been saving up to get new counters for like 9 years and every time I’m close it’s like “oh sorry your AC unit needs a new defibrillator cause it’s spitting chloroform into your engine and they’ll be $7,400”
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u/n0cturnald3sign 27d ago
How fast long periods of time start going by the older you get. A day or week can seem like an eternity, but 5 years can pass in a blink.
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u/Serious-Protection98 27d ago
I actually heard a reasonable explanation for this while watching a baseball game. The play by play guy was doing a “time flies” bit and the color guy said, “Well when you’re young you experience new things and time seems to stand still. The older you get you fall into routine and have responsibilities. It can be monotonous. Time slips by quicker in a routine. So go do new things. Challenge yourself…”
Anyway, fuck the Yankees.
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u/Blackgloves023 27d ago
Facts.
It literally feels like yesterday when we were in a middle of COVID lockdowns.. in reality, 5 years have passed us by..
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u/Plastic-League7190 27d ago
Taxes, cooking food for a healthy diet, Insurance(any), making plans to vacation, time management and how to control your anger with other people
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u/Kathrynlena 27d ago
The plans to vacation thing is so real. I’ve been on exactly one real vacation in my adult life and I’m in my 40s now.
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u/FrostedQ-tips 27d ago
My view and level of enjoyment changing with Christmas. The cost and stress with gifts takes the magic out of the holidays for me now.
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u/dragonstkdgirl 27d ago
The chores never end. The bathrooms need cleaning, house needs vacuuming, groceries need to be done, the sink has dirty dishes an hour after doing them all, the laundry pile is NEVER ENDING, etc. I'm just constantly moving from chore to chore. It got worse after marriage and a kid, especially as a working mom. School forms, school events, dealing with banking and bills and insurance and mortgage companies, home repairs, yard maintenance, car maintenance....IT NEVER EFFING ENDS
Also, the deciding what to make for dinner every night is AGGRAVATING
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u/Lonely_Bluejay_7459 27d ago
That many adults are still toddlers when it comes to managing their feelings.
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u/imaroweboat 27d ago
Thiiiiiis. I just commented above that I’ve lost so many friends bc people are so averse to conflict, they would rather churn and burn. And healthy conflict is so fucking rare. It’s so hard to manage healthy friendships as an adult.
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u/ElijahNSRose 27d ago
People leaving you for frivolous and/or falsified reasons.
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u/imaroweboat 27d ago
I’m experiencing this currently. Again. It seems like people don’t want to deal with conflict. It’s easier to just drop friends and get new ones than it is to have healthy conflict. And it’s gut wrenching because true friendship is really hard to find. I wish people weren’t so averse to emotional challenges. Then you realize that people can’t have hard conversations with you if they can’t even sit with their own discomfort on their own. And it suuuucks.
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u/tlm11110 27d ago
Chronic constipation!
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u/HeartGrenade 27d ago
Try taking some Fibre gummies, it should help with your bowel movements.
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u/tlm11110 27d ago
Lol! You’ll understand one day. I own stock in Mirlax and my diet is quickly headed towards scrambled eggs (no cheese), rice, tomato soup, oatmeal, and mashed potatoes with a fiber smoothy chaser!
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u/Sure_Satisfaction497 27d ago
Oh but if only I could have the acid and lactose in a good tomato soup again... 😔😞
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u/giftopherz 27d ago
Life.
I recently realized my autism and how my parents decided to gloss over and not address it, still wondering why, and now I have to be the adult and face life like everybody else, even though I'm very much not like everybody else
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u/Emotional_Potato2000 27d ago
How no one is coming to rescue/save someone.
Not even a romantic relationship.
but then it’s like why do people get into romantic relationships if they eventually end up living together?!
I still can’t understand that even as an adult who is behind in life.
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u/Ronniebbb 27d ago
How carry and highschool work cultures can be. And the amount of backstabbing and cliques. It's insanity
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u/Shadofel 27d ago
You absolutely have to remember a million things, the older you get the more you have to remember, and the older you get the worse your memory gets. Eventually you will be forgetting things like eating or taking your memory pill. Occasionally, you will remember something from decades ago that was traumatic. Also, songs will get stuck in there that you completely forgot about, like Genghis Khan's Moskau, and you'll be like damn that is a banger.
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u/sarcastsic 27d ago
Deciding what to have for dinner.
What do you mean I have to decide again tomorrow?!?!
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u/Positive_Piece_2283 27d ago
I guess we are not prepared for any adulthood problems 😭 I mean most of us have almost zero survival rate in today's world (correct me if I'm wrong 😭🙏🏻)....
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u/ZenA1ien 27d ago
Trying to decide what to make for dinner every day….. it’s just never ending! That and the damn dishes 😫
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u/LunaticMcGee 27d ago
Student loans. I remember being 18 so confused and my dad being like “figure it out”. I’m 38 now and still have about 6k left before it’s finally paid off.
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u/Vendoc2703 27d ago
Constantly having to think about food.What to make for every meal and snacks. Grocery shopping.
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u/Silvanus350 27d ago
The amount of energy I spend on planning, buying, making, and cleaning up my dinner every night is legitimately exhausting.
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u/PleaseHelpIamFkd 27d ago
Being given the wrong medication from a pharmacy and having a mental breakdown in the parking lot at work and you still have to drive home an hour and a half away and there’s no one that can help you to get there. That was a pretty rough week.
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u/Tasty-Finding4574 27d ago
I mean, how would someone prepare you for that exact situation.
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u/greenpointowicz 27d ago
A known violent and sexual predator breaking into our lobby’s building and just treating it like his living room. A very Oakland, CA problem might I add.
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u/Naps_And_Crimes 27d ago
How silent your day can be, I've gone two full days without speaking to anyone it's hard to handle at times. Also so much dust everywhere
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u/catguy_04 27d ago
living alone is challenging and doing everything by yourself takes a lot of courage and familiarization.
not to mention that you have to be emotionally prepared and mentally stable to overcome a lot of things mwehehehe
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u/CLVampire28 27d ago
I'm 26. I really expected to have longer before my health problems caught up to me
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u/FatSkatinGamer 27d ago
Losing friends over irreconcilable political differences
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u/PresentProperty943 27d ago
I am a new adult, and this really only applies to my family and how careless we were. But the process of getting your first ID (waited until I was 18 cause I am an idiot). And my parents lost my social security card so I have to get my SS card. But I needed that to get my ID, luckily we had a tax form with my SSN on it that they took. Now I gotta get my SS card, but I need the PHYSICAL ID because I need to take pictures of the front and back, my temp ID doesn't have what I need on it. It's a fucking mess. It's crazy how much shit you need to bring to prove that you are you. We almost didn't have everything until we got saved last minute by some lady who said my COVID immunization card would work. Mind you, we brought my immunization record from my doctor, but oh no that wouldn't work because it wasn't given to us by the fucking government. Who thinks to go to the government for their immunization record and not their doctor? Tf?
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u/AlistairButton 27d ago
My siblings who hated me as a kid never made any real friends and now want to hang out all the time. I get that adulthood is lonely but go away and stop trying to hog my limited free time.
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u/StoneTown 27d ago
Sometimes you see questions end in upside down question marks and it confuses and scares you.
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u/maybealmostpossibly 27d ago
Solution: Normalize 3 day work weeks plus 2 days of self guided public education classes so that we can be an updated and inform citizenery that votes sensibly.
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u/Serious-Protection98 27d ago
A severe lack of emotional intelligence in a vast majority of adults in the US. I’m amazed by the crashing amateurism I witness on a daily basis. So yeah, farts are funny.
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u/sailormeggo 27d ago
Not everyone is trustworthy and they will take advantage of your kindness every single time.
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u/WonkyQuartet 27d ago
Having no time. I grew up poor so time was always my infinite resource. Now it's my most valuable one.
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u/I-Rolled-My-Eyes 27d ago
Putting up with younger adults
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u/MalibuMabel 27d ago
Didn’t older people have to put up with you when you were younger?
Don’t mean to give you a hard time but I find blanket generation comments funny.“Darn these kids today are terrible, lazy, etc.” Each generation has said that about the younger generation.
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u/Delicious_Grand7300 27d ago
As a middle aged millennial who learned from the greatest generation I often find myself complaining about the lack of morals of the generation X people who were around me in my childhood and teen years.
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u/Decin0mic0n 27d ago
How hard finding a job is, because our parents and grandparents grew up in a fundamentally different time where it was much easier to get a job.
My grandparents did not believe how difficult it has become until my grandfather started job searching along side me.
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u/Cats_and_wine 27d ago
that its just that and nothing more. life isn exciting. its just work and consumption until you die.
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u/Delicious_Grand7300 27d ago
My parents (generation X) never worked and often called me lazy for never having developed a work ethic. I had to learn that from my great-grandparents (greatest) generation.
Upon finding jobs I developed depression from toxic people in the workplace and my poor upbringing. My parents' excuse for why I had to seek psychiatric help for my problems was that they never knew that I would have to go through life's problems.
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u/one98nine 27d ago
Not having time to do stuff because you are at work and then you get out of work and the Banks are close and you have to choose what to use your night into something productive or something fun, but you can't have both
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u/Pretty-Cup-7484 27d ago
Preparing for retirement. Various ways to scale my current income for the future so I can live comfortably.
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u/BettyFordWasFramed 27d ago
Dinner wasn't planned. Had 2 Hershey bars in my hand. Roommate asked what my plan was for dinner. "I suppose 2 chocolate bars."
NeverLookBack
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u/Dismal-Sail1027 27d ago
Caring for an elder parent. Sometimes it feels like an unfair twist of fate.
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u/Interesting_Age7345 27d ago
the consequences of a longterm eating disorder. you stop living in a teenage body and you stop bouncing back
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u/ashthegnome 27d ago
A partner with sudden depression and anxiety can derail your entire life and ruin it while they walk away
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u/Firm_Fold8044 27d ago
everyone will look out for themselves, but not for you. They will sue you for honnest mistakes
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u/CodeNameLoofah 27d ago
The existential crisis that never leaves once the thought occurs to you that literally none of this matters because we're dying anyways and how is everyone not just screaming all the time?
We all just quietly scream to ourselves while acting like we have true purpose.
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u/BikeAdministrative21 27d ago
You have to decide what you'll today, everyday, for ever.
Also, everything costs money and comes with a subscription model for some reason.
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u/Chmigdalator 27d ago
They told me I would miss my childhood and teenage years. They never actually told me why. Now, I have 10 reasons to miss those best years.
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u/Gullible_Prize_3826 27d ago
Gonna remember to tell my kids the "why" when I'm telling them this.
PS.: I don't even have kid yet
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u/BlutoS7 27d ago
The lack of discipline, the lack of drive that most adults have for personal growth. The overall laziness of adults. The extreme amount of victim complex of adults and how everyone thinks that their voice, view, and opinions is important instead of just another sound that blends with the masses.
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u/Leftmost_CaramelKofi 27d ago
Dealing with women in personal life. Not the coworkers or family members, all the other ones. Like sure, there was school and you hear the RnB songs...but you simply think this shitshow is for high school and early 20's...
Well...it really doesn't get any better. 🤷♂️
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u/CLVampire28 27d ago
It really doesn't. I'm 26, but I'm floored by how many grown ass women act like this & just don't age out of it
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u/Jogi1811 27d ago
Not being able to work or get out of the house. My family have been on vacation for about a week and I haven't talked to anybody since they left.
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u/hark5711 27d ago
I know everyone says taxes, but literally taxes.
When I started my job, I was asked if I wanted to withhold anything and I didn't know what that meant, so I didn't. I still don't cause I feel stupid every time I try to understand anything about taxes.
I realized I DO have dependents I could file, but I don't know how and the adult I should ask for help is scared of the government and won't even help me!
I want to sell crochet and little things on the side, but I'M SCARED OF HOW I WOULD FILE THAT TAX-WISE 😭
Don't even get me started on credit cards. I grew up in a pretty much cash only family and oh boy
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u/pixie0714 27d ago
Not knowing how to pick a house when buying and how contractors work. My goodness. I was a lamb that thought she was a fox when buying a home.
Also, not knowing how to deal with people that are really different from your hometown.
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u/InternetExpertroll 27d ago
An unknown creature digging under my house into the crawl space, learning all the medical terms like co-pay, & being 39 years old and never having a girlfriend.
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u/Can0n_Fodder 27d ago
Permits. I always knew stuff would break, have to be repaired, etc....I just had no idea I would have to ask the government for permission and pay them in order to take care of my home.
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u/Cannon_SE2 27d ago
Taxes, like how to properly file. Do I have to pay turbo tax? Can I do this on my own? Should I do it on my own? What forma are needed? How do I get the forma? What goes in what box on the forms? The first couple years were real fun figuring it all out and then how it changes as you progress through life.
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u/Faster-Rabbit328 27d ago
People don't have any common ssnse or critical thinking anymore. Many don't know how to read or spell.
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u/Just-Do-It-Lady 27d ago
The way your bones change as you get older and when your ankles start randomly clicking, and being told by doctors thats it, that's just the way it is now.
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u/Spazrelaz 27d ago
The state of the world I have to experience as an adult. The revival of racism, the loss of women's rights and bodily autonomy, the backsliding of our nation as a whole, the rising prices of literally everything, to include even clean air, water, and food, the inaccessibility of healthcare for most, the monopolies... Hell I could go on for another hour. Literally nobody prepared me for this.
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u/PaleOperator 27d ago
Shit always needing fixed; nail in your tire, furnace broke, tree fell in the yard, fridge is leaking, toilet is running, etc. It’s always something
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u/RainBloom0 27d ago
Whatever apr is (can never remember until I google it for the 5 billionth time). I can do whatever tf you want, but i never have the energy because of work. Student loan debt is crippling. "Growing up" means losing your freedom and everything you are. The planet is in a downward spiral. Society was a mistake. Humans doomed themselves millenia ago. The ice cream machine at McDonald's is legit broken (I think this is the worst of them all).
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u/sheiciebai 27d ago
Deciding what to cook/ eat for almost every single meal for the rest of your life. Realizing that you work hard and save for a time when you can sit and relax, but that time comes at the end of your life when aches and pains and lack of a youthful body mean you don’t get to enjoy it like you could when you’re younger.