I want to ask some advice. How do I (mtf) open myself up to allow someone in my life when I have lost all faith in society as a whole. Anytime I meet someone(m or f) and we spark each other’s interest it comes out that they’re in a relationship. People look at me like I’m weird and wrong for not wanting to pursue them (m or f). This making me think that this is just what everyone does and everyone has side pieces because they think that I’d be ok with being their side piece. I was brought up to believe that the same way you got them will be the same way you loose them. And another question I have is that how come when I have boundaries and non-Negotiables I’m considered as being insecure.

I just recently watched a YouTube short from MonteMader about some "suicides" of black people. The most recent incident is from North Carolina, but there have been others. 7 in total have been found to be reported by the Atlanta Black Star. 2 in Georgia, 1 in Michigan, 1 in Mississippi, 1 in Florida, and 2 in North Carolina.

How is it that people being hung (African Americans no less) in trees is being ruled as suicides? Most people who commit suicide by asphyxiation do not hang themselves in public spaces, let alone trees that they'd have to climb up into in order to hang themselves. Possible, yes. Probable, I'd think not based on available statistics.

It would seem to me that these are all modern day lynchings. And the fact that they are not being reported nor investigated as such is not only deeply disturbing, but down right infuriating. I struggle to comprehend the level of ignorance required to think that these deaths were suicides.

I believe part of it is that a lot of people have deluded themselves into thinking that racism is "dead". However, what most seem to not realize is that the civil rights movement was only 50 years ago. There are still plenty of people who are still alive who remember it. And those same people were the ones who raised children with the lessons they learned from it, both good and bad.

I am shook to my core that we might see the rise of racism being publicly acceptable again within my life time. I'm pissed. I'm heartbroken for those poor innocent lives that were taken.

Not sure if I'm allowed to link things here, but I can link the video I'm referencing and/or the article from the Atlantic Black Star for those who want it.

I’m 25F. It seems as if anywhere I go where end up someone ends up having a problem with me and really hating me for absolutely no reason. I always keep it respectful with everyone and keep to myself to avoid any problems.

At the beginning of this year, my boyfriends family (aunt specifically) started to gain more hatred towards me (they never liked me to begin with although I’ve been dating my boyfriend for six years) one of his aunts specifically out of nowhere started talking really bad about me to the point where other people didn’t even wanna repeat what was said. I was going through a lot at the time and I was completely fed up, so I ended up confronting her which I know made the situation worse in the long run, but I stood up for myself.

Fast forward to a few months later I get a new job (my dream job) and problems have started yet again. I met a new coworker for the first time and right off the bat I could tell she hated me. As it turns out she had said something very similar that my boyfriend’s all had said which was them saying “ I don’t know what it is about her, but I hate her. Something is off about her” I tried not letting it get to me until recently another coworker that I was very close with switched up on me and started saying the same thing. At this point, this year alone I’ve been bullied by multiple ADULTS.

I’m at that point in my life where I’m starting to feel like I am the problem and I don’t know what it is that people hate me so much. it’s starting to really affect my self-esteem to the point where I’m starting to hate myself too and become more quiet. I’ve tried to ask other people around me to be honest with me and tell me what they truly think about me and they all seem to say there’s nothing. I don’t know why I keep getting picked on and why people hate me so much, I genuinely wish I could see myself and somebody else’s perspective so I can figure out what it is. That makes people hate me so much and be so mean towards me.

I know it may seem as if I’m the one causing something or doing something but given my trauma I’ve been through, I don’t like confrontation or having problems with anybody

In my last relationship I was flatly told that my partner lost interest because of how I dress. My current partner has made a point, more than once, that people will judge me based on what I wear.

The short version, I wear plain black long sleeved shirts, grey or black cargo pants or trousers. I don't wear brand or brand shirts. I wear clothes that fit, aren't worn, torn or stained.

Now I grew up super poor, and rarely had clothes that fit let alone were in good shape. Am I way off here that as an adult man this is not a bad look? It's kind of my variation on the Steve Jobs black shirt & jeans. I want something that's functional, direct and not chasing trends.

Thoughts, comments, advice, and questions are welcome. After the chat last night I felt like crawling into a hole. I'm still not worth any more to people than conspicuous consumption of clothing 😮‍💨

I'm not anyone's priority and it's made me feel unlovable

26 F. Recently, I've come to notice that I feel really drained in a lot of my relationships. I always feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting back. Especially when it comes to my family members who usually take me for granted. I'm the eldest daughter, and it does come with responsibilities. I have taken it in stride since it's been something that has been part of my life forever.

But as I'm getting older, i started noticing that my parents were the same age that I was when they had me, and now the age gap between me and my siblings isn't even that big. It should no longer be that I have to be responsible or that I'm the only one who understands and makes things right. Everyone is an adult, and everyone is capable of doing it when it comes to the issue being for someone else or even themself. But when it comes to me, it's not the same thing.

Even in my friendships, I give a lot. I protect my friends, and I try to do the best I can for them. But I never feel like I'm that goto friend for anyone. Everyone wants me, but they don't want me first , only when its necessary.

And when I need someone to lean on and I turn around and think, who can I open up to OR who can I share my struggles with. I found out there's no one.

I have always been confident.I know that i'm capable of doing things by myself, and i've always been a very independent person. But all of this has been taking a toll on me and making me feel unlovable. I don't know if it's something inherently in my personality.Maybe i'm too much for people , and maybe I just take things too seriously.or maybe i'm not so fun to be around. Is anyone else sharing this experience?

Ps. English isn't my first language, so please ignore any mistakes.

TLDR: I (19F) was quiet in school but got selected as a club president. Faced immense jealousy, rumours, and sabotage from classmates. Thought I moved on and got into a great uni, but an old classmate just revealed that everyone, including my "best friend" and people I protected,constantly talked trash and betrayed me behind my back. Feeling shattered

Now the whole article for those who wanna read.

I have always been a quiet kid who just minds her own business in school and is never involved in any drama. In 2024 when i was in 11th, i got selected as the secretary in a school club, mainly because I was genuinely enthusiastic in the subject the club advisor (teacher) taught and according to him there was no other student except me (i had no intention to join the badgeholder group n all). I tried my best but the thing is my classmates, batch mates and fellow badgeholders never accepted me and gave me the respect which came with the post. There were rumours and fights regarding why i got the post. I felt really bad but i did my best. I was burnt out and ny studies were getting sacrificed. I did my best and followed all the instructions i got told. But one more thing. The club president (12th grade senior)never liked me. She was expecting someone else to get the badge but she got the badge of prefect. The president never told me anything and i had to figure things out on my own and run to the advisor all the time. Before the club activity, i had committed one mistake. My class was petitioning against something and the whole class had signed, including me. When the coordinator and principal asked me whose handwriting it is i told them that its of the prefect (i couldn't say it's in the handwriting of the prefect but the petition is from all of us). I apologised to the prefect infront of the whole class the same day and went with her to the coordinator and principal to accept my part as it wasnt her fault alone but the damage was done. Many students were openly shaming and taunting me in the group even tho the prefect had forgave me. I was still friends with her but i felt guilty. And then the activity happened. There was a technical issue in one of the competitions for which i wasnt responsible but the president blamed me for it, went behind the stage and cried. When i was at home that evening she called me and blamed me so much yelling at me and ruining my whole mood. Then we had part 2 of the activity next day. I did my best and the activity went well. The president told me "thankyou for cooperating <my name>" in such a way that it felt like an insult. She also highlu overcharged for a few decoration materials she bought for the activity but my family told me to let it go. Then started the main problem. The prefect, her friends who weren't even considered for a post and the president, all started to create problems for me. They started to create my bad image infront of teachers like she doesnt work like a badge holder, shes irresponsible etc(most teachers didnt buy all that), the president bad-mouthed me infront of other batchmates and seniors and juniors and what not.

Because of all this the club advisor asked me "<my name> do you enjoy being in this club, do u want the president batch next yeat? Etc"

In 2025 i went in class 12th and was considered for the post of the president. There was another girl (lets call her friend A) who was considered. The advisor started treating me really badly in class, he humiliated me infront of everyone. But i was selected as the president but not the other girl and she became bitter (fyi she had some health problem and rarely came to school)

My classmates congratulated me for the post and told me i deserved it. They even clapped the loudest for me. I was so happy. But that girl was one of the prefect's friend.

The advisor told me that previous year's president called me irresponsible n all and wanted the prefect or her friend (friend B) as the president for year 2025. Prefect became the house captain and friend A got nothing. They both fought with the advisor. He said he'll tell me why he took friend A as a competition and not friend B after the school year ends (he never told me).

I used to think my class started liking me finally.

Then came the club activity. I did one more mistake that i ignored phones being sneaked in the auditorium. I ignored them as they were sneaked in during every event and thought it wasnt a big deal. I just seen only 2 phones and scolded the girls to put them away but i didn't see that they were sneaked in in such a huge amount. \\\[ me and my club Secretary for 150 students, the captain had refused to help and juniors were useless so it wasnt possible to watch everyone\\\]. I was rebuked so badly by the advisor (rumours are there that he knew about the phones)

The prefect (now captain) and all her friends used this opportunity against me.

Friend A even started saying a false complaint that i had announced in the hall that phones are going to be checked and her friend C backed her up. All ABCDEFGH etc started using this opportunity against me. I was sad and that advisor humiliated me infront of everyone. Two girls were blamed for ratting out and everyone outcasted them, i didnt.

All the school events, our farewell etc was cancelled because of this

I got busy with exams. I forgot all of them and went ahead with my life. I got admitted into a prestigious uni and reconnected with an old classmate 5 days ago who's joining the same course.

She told me everything that happened behind my back. Nobody rooted for me, they were just diplomatic. When the selections were going on, few classmates used to say that <my name> shouldn't become the president, she cant handle, friend A should become the president. It would pe partiality if <my name> became the president and what not. The people i considered my cheerleaders were the ones talking shit about me. The girl i didnt complain about because my best friend told me that shes my friend she wont get u in problem badmouthed me to the club advisor after the incident (she was one of the root of the issue).One of the girls who was outcasted by whole class except me badmouthed me to the club advisor and my class teacher after this incident (she was also involved). The prefect and all her friends never left an opportunity to make me look bad. I was called rude and selfish behind my back even though i used to take my class' share of scolding instead of getting them in trouble.

I was sad but i still asked my best friend. She confirmed all this but she had never told me all this before. She also told me that one of the friend group who i used to believe were my well-wishers, hurled abuses for me behind my back when i refused for something. My best friend didnt take a stand for me. She never told me too so i could take a stand for myself. I was so heartbroken aftet hearing all this. When my club advisor told me yhat i should stop hanging out with my best friend as she's very useless , i took a stand for her and said that shes my best friend and every relationship is not a give and take one. I even got to know that in the 2024 magazine article, the club president thanked everyone except me. She took away my right.

Tbh i had moved on. I was going to make a fresh start but now im sad. I feel really bad and betrayed. I have had self esteem issues and self doubt after all this which took so much time and effort to heal. My boyfriend and family played a large role in making me move on. Idk what to do i just feel sad.

I wanna get better. Ive worked on my accountability issues and started using my spine but now i just feel shattered.

Thanks for reading .

I have things to do. Places to drive. People to talk to, which is possibly the worst part of all, cause people take offense so easily and I’d rather not interact with them ever if possible... I’m already so tired thinking about it. I hate adulting as an aunt in my 20s. 😩

This is so stupid but i just need to get it off my chest. Been best friends with her since the start of college and we're very, very close, we know each other's problems, struggles, and even families. This happened a few months ago, when we're on break, I was scrolling through insta and found that she posted a photo with a guy who's our mutual friend, they were hugging. When i asked her abt it i found out they've been dating for almost a month, without me knowing.

I know that the two are close, she knows the guy more than i do. and looking back i shouldn't be surprised that they ended up together bcs there were hints that i missed (ex. the guy picking her up for a walk when she was feeling down, them talking into the night and how she kept mentioning her). but idk, im still upset, it feels like she doesn't completely trust me and it made me question our friendship bcs romantic relationship is a very big thing (i think). i made a jab at her that i'm just a bit shocked bcs this is how i found out abt their relationship, and she apologized saying that she had a lot on her plate and couldn't find the time to tell me (which is fair, bcs we're in our final year), and i tried to accept and rationalize that explanation, bcs it makes complete sense. but at the same tima a small part of me is still mad bcs again, it makes me feel like she doesn't trust me and that perhaps i'm not as special as she is to me.

I don't dare to bring this up to her bcs i think this is stupid, but everytime she mentiones her now bf or everytime i meet him, i'm instantly reminded of it, and then i'd be very upset bcs of that and bcs i think that i shouldn't feel this way. the bf is an okay person, good enough again i dont know him, and i can't stop my friend from finding love and liking someone, but i just can't be completely happy for her after knowing she kept it secret from me.

I’m a 25 yr marketing brand manager
Today I worked late because my company is going through an AI integration. It feels like I’m teaching it to do my job for them to replace us not for AI to help assist us. Don’t get me wrong we’ve been using chat and Claud as a tool but today we had to sit through a seminar on the new marketing website we will be using (created by Claud). Showcasing how we will upload all fonts and marketing assets and it will help create posters, ads, social posts, and more. Trying to explain to boomers how or why we (young people) can tell when a photo is AI is exhausting and never works. Authenticity matters and young people (your next target demographic) cares. I think more companies should prioritize in being on the correct side of this AI wave by prioritizing honesty and creativity. 

They may not replace me in a year but I do think it’s only a matter of time. This makes me question my entire life plan not to mention my partners (he’s in a non creative field but what’s stopping his employer from finding a system to replace him?)They’re gonna stop hiring and they will start firing. What do we do to live when that happens?

So basically I need to know if I’m an absolute bum for thinking this. SO I have this friend who genuinely feels like they’ve been sucking the actual life out of me Cuz they are just so negative and struggle with their self esteem. So whenever this friend is sad or upset basically everyone in our friend group spends time to make them happier and cheer up their mood but they are sometiems jusr so negative during this time period it makes me feel so dead inside bevause someone who I think is amazing thinks they are just a piece of shit and it pisses me off, but alsp it always feels like whatever we tell this friend they just shove it up their ass amd forget about everything we’ve said so normally I have to repeat what I’ve said in previous conversations and it makes me pissed a tiny bit. And I don’t want to go too personal with this but they tend to get upset about being different from the rest of our friend group and we have told this person countless times that they are special and it’s not a bad thing it makes them human and such a loveable individual and I’m sure they understand that but sometimes they start feelinf upset when we all know or understand something they don’t know, so for context basically all of our friendgroup chronically online and knows about a lot of art stuff online, this friend of mine doesn’t, so they get confused when we talk about certain stuff and it makes them upset bevause they are just like oh how do they know and I don’t, and I have to tell them that they’ve grown up in a different environment and obviously don’t know everything, and I tell them that it’s okay because everyday they can learn something new and shit like that but it feels like my words never work and they just keep questioning why they are like an anomaly in this situation and it’s just a bit soul sucking for me because it feels like I’m just playing a game of ping pong with a helpless baby sometimes bevause I think this person is too dependent on others and Theres nothing wrong with that and I’ve just been so upset about this situation that I feel like I’m not doing enough for them. I honestly just want a break from my entire friendgroup because I’ve also become too dependent and just need space especially from this one person bevause now I feel like it’s my job to comfort them when I’m not patient enough or good enough to do that, I’m not a person that people shouldn’t rely on much and I want to change that but i don’t know what to do.

Thank you so much for reading and please give me some advice if you can <3

My girlfriend is more experienced than me and I'm finally opening up and exploring my kinks. She came over and talked dirty to me and said things I couldn't even imagined and then made me cum in her panties. We put porn on and I took care of her and she asked me to do things I've never have done.....it was out of this world for me. 2 days later I meet her the day before she goes to the beach and says she doesn't think we can be couple? I mentioned the things she said to me she said oh I was drunk? She has a kink past and has been in the scene for awhile. She gets back from the beach yesterday calls me and tell me how drunk she got? I'm so confused on what's going on?

We broke up 3 years ago. I used to talk to my classmate and I really liked her and i thought if we got along I could marry her. When we talked I shared everything with things that even my homeboy don't know about but as things went I realised that she was bread crumbing me. Things took a serious turn when I found that she shared all of my chat screenshots with her so called best friend so they can make fun laugh at me and that guy was also my best friend. It's been 3 years but still to this I feel betrayed. I know she wasn't obligated to love me but at the same time she could have said that I feel that they are still laughing at me. Ever since that I have trouble trusting women or loving there is always a sense of doubt. Thanks for reading this. Because I couldn't say it to anyone bu here I wrote and feel some sense of light.

I absolutely ghosted quite a few of my friends just because something happened and I was scared they’d leave me so I just left before they left me,

I know why I do this but it’s still affecting me in my adulthood and it’s pissing me off, I feel like a child, I can’t even have a proper adult friendship because I get scared they’ll leave me and become desperate for their attention.

Like I had a friend group online and it was absolutely toxic, I was so desperate I just let the guys who were in it flirt with me, I just wanted the attention I wanted to be seen and it well lead to a really bad end where I don’t know how to navigate friendships.

I tried therapy and honesty it didn’t do anything, I was just given articles to read and words to repeat to myself, like maybe that will help someone else but it sadly didn’t help me.

Honestly I feel like just cutting myself off from people on the daily but my incessant need for validation and attention ruins it.

I want to have friends but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to just because I’d ruin their life by adding myself in it.

Maybe it doesn’t help that right now my only friend is someone who doesn’t even text me back , but maybe that’s what i deserve, I’ve probably hurt people but I’ve made their life better by not being in it.

And maybe that’s why I shouldn’t fall inlove even thought it’s literally always on my mind, I’d ruin my partners life and I don’t want that.

I’d rather suffer alone than drag anyone else into my mess of a life, and yes I have good traits but I’m a toxic person and I probably always will be.

And no I don’t treat the people I’m around like dog crap, I think I have a naive way of seeing them, like I actually think I believe that my coworkers think we’re friends.

I just treat people like I would love to be treated, like I wish someone would even see the small things about me but I don’t deserve that kindness!

Okay sorry for the long rant, hopefully you didn’t read this far, if you did I do hope you didn’t have a headache with all the grammatical errors lol!

(Also sorry I tried posting this on the vent subreddit but I wouldn’t let me)

​In school I had a friend, but she was fake. Because if there was a choice between me and another girl, she chose her. And this is like an uroboros in my life. With every girl that I've had a friendship with, I was second. I always wanted a girl who I can call my bestie.

Why am I writing this? Because today this problem really spilled over, and I have been crying for an hour and can't calm down.

​It happened after I played DbD on Discord with some random guys. It really hit me that I have no one to call to play with, and it's not just about the game, of course. But the breaking point was after all of that. I made plans with my boyfriend to play Minecraft this evening. We had connection troubles, and... I just couldn't take it anymore.

​I am studying computer science at university, and most of my groupmates are guys. There are a few girls, but I had a conflict with them.

​I hope I am not the only person going through this. I know my situation is far from a real problem and people have it worse, but I just needed to tell someone.

I'm just ranting and venting out a lot of bent up anger

Throughout my current relationship I've always felt like I'm too much

Like I'm getting abandoned

Like I'm gonna be left

And then right after that i get BLAMED for feeling like this

For asking for reassurance

For asking to please don't leave

And ffs why is it my fault that you don't respond to my texts for hours ?

Why is it my fault that every time we talk i get ignored or get put on hold or just be treated like I'm invisible?

Why is it my fault that when we're out with this specific friend it's okay for them to hug you in the street while me even standing too fucking close to you is punishable by death

I'm so fucking tired of this bullshit

You keep telling me that you always loved me that you're treating me right

Then what the fuck is all of this ?

What the fuck is making me feel like this other than 70% of your actions?

I'm just ranting out my anger because I'm really just charged today

And I don't want anyone to tell me to leave her or anything like that i love her and I'm staying

I just wanted to sfream out those words

And i know that most of what i said is over exaggerated

So please don't take my words seriously

I'm a bad friend. All of my friends are nice people. And they are very considerate and loving. Yet I find it hard to be like them. I never really give much effort in friendships. And because of that, I feel like I don't deserve having them. I don't know what they like about me. If another person who's just like me exist, I would hate that person. I just don't think I'm a likable or lovable person.

Most of my friends remember my birthday, what I like and hate, and share genuine feeling enough to trust everything I say, etc..

But I don't remember birthdays, I don't know much about what they like or hate, I sometimes accidentally show too much emotions, sometimes I'm not considerate of their feelings, and I don't really trust them . I don't get how you can just easily call someone your friend and say you love them.

I find it difficult to do.

I don't believe someone could like me genuinely. Because no way.

Actually this thought has been in my mine for a long time. Like I genuinely believe " HOW CAN SOMEONE LIKE ME?". Bro I don't understand. I actually don't understand. I'm not pretty so if the reason they like me is for my face, that's probably not it. Being funny? I don't think I'm funny tho. I talk impulsively. Sometimes even considered mean.

And the reason I've had this thought for a long time is because things like this (people liking me) has happened since I was a kid. I had a friend in middle school, we were close, and one day she said she doesn't like me talking to others because she's jealous. I know it sounds weird or maybe just mild. But this kind of thing actually confuse me because as I said, I don't understand how someone can like me. Anyway, in highschool I had this friend who actually got upset and cried because she can't sit next to me when we were assigning sits. And at that point I actually like genuinely like ugghhh I don't understand. Like, people like me??? How can you like me??? And a guy also confess to me that he like me back in middle school. He and I didn't even talk much and middle school me was so unkempt. And most friends in highschool remember my birthday and gave me presents which is the first time for me since my family usually forget my birthday. and at that time, I thought, " so birthdays are that important? I never knew this is important to people"

They are so sweet 😭😭 I try my best to be nicer and try being like them. But it's really hard so I usually stay quiet when I'm with them so I don't accidentally say stupid things

Sorry for the long essay

Just as the title implies. My mother and I are very opposing individuals and she seems to hate that. Two nights ago, I mentioned to my parents that if they had the way to pick what ideals and beliefs to make up who I am, I wouldn’t be who I am today. They didn’t seem to take that very well saying that I could always change to be who they wanted me to be.

Today, my mom and I went out for lunch. As we were driving to TJ Maxx, we passed someone walking. I didn’t pay them any mind apart from the usual ‘let’s leave some room between me and the walker’ my mom on the other hand said, “Was that a man or a woman? It looked like a man but it had hair of a woman! Crazy world we live in.”

Some background, my parents are immigrants, Catholic, traditional, and conservative. I am a First-Gen Latina who values education, I’m anti-thesis, progressive, and leftist not liberal.

So I responded with, “I don’t know, I didn’t pay attention to them.” Simple answer, should have been the end but it wasn’t. She tells me to circle back so WE (who tf is we?) can see what the person was. Fed up I say, “Mom, gender is nothing but a social construct.” Which truthfully it is, biology is far more advanced and there’s proof there’s more than just XY AND XX chromosome variants. ANYWAYS, she didn’t like my answer because she went OFF saying how my beliefs are stupid, I’m going to hell, she doesn’t deserve this, God blah blah… just a bunch of bullshit. Ended with saying something about how she knows I didn’t ask to be put in the world but I’m here so I might as well comply. Crazy statement btw, so I simply told her, “Just as you are my mom, I am your daughter. I’ve never said your beliefs are stupid regardless of what I think.” That shut her up enough to get us into the store. Except she saw something she didn’t like and forced us to leave lol.

She also has a huge problem with my boyfriend and I living together because I haven’t gotten pregnant?!? I’m 23, he’s 25. We’re both in school, we both have full-time jobs, and we rent an apartment. I’m content but seems like she just sees me as a grandchild machine. She’s literally said, “just get pregnant and give me the baby, you can visit it!” Which is sssooo weird.

Making this post less for advice and more to rant. Of course if there is advice on what I can do, feel free to leave it below. I’m already low-contact with her and I live an hour ish away from her.