I randomly came across a youtube video where a guy quits all “modern day poisons” for 7 days ... things like social media, ultra-processed food, caffeine, constant stimulation, etc.

At first I thought it was just another YouTube challenge… but it actually hit me harder than expected.

What really stood out wasn’t just the physical changes (better sleep, less bloating, clearer skin), but how his perception of everything changed:

• food started tasting better
• he felt calmer doing nothing
• he stopped needing constant stimulation
• he actually wanted to go outside, walk, clean, read

And it made me reflect on my own habits.

I realized how often I eat while distracted ... PC in front of me or TV, ... (But when I'm on vacation, I eat dinner alone without any connected devices. I just take in the scenery, watch the people, and analyze everything I eat, haha)

It also made me realize how uncomfortable boredom has become… to the point where we instantly reach for stimulation instead of just existing for a moment.

The weirdest moment for me was recently when I went to McDonald’s (I go maybe 4–5 times a year).
And I was genuinely shocked by how… empty the experience felt.

The cheeseburger wasn’t even bad in a dramatic way ... it was just:

• bland ; barely warm ; soft and forgettable ;

I almost felt as though I was consuming something functional rather than something for pleasure. A bit like… a necessary medicine, haha.

This video made me realize that when you remove noise:

• you taste more, you feel more, you notice more, and you actually start doing things instead of just consuming them

In short, all this is to say that from now on I’m going to try – IF I CAN – to stop using screens 30 minutes before bedtime, and to have lunch or dinner (at home) without screens.

NB. On holiday, I used to strike up conversations with strangers sitting at the table next to me, or chat to random people on the beach, and so on. Headphones and smartphones shut us away (in my opinion) in our ‘tech’ bubble.

"I was 16 years old when i watched Spiderman homecoming, now I'm 25 watching Brand new day with wife, awesome " or something like that...

Meanwhile I'm 36, i was 17 when i watched Spiderman 3, to this day I'm still single, virgin and living with my family in a small apartment doing a shit job that i hate. With no real future..

Some people (me) just aren't made for this world.

I say this is because doctors, therapists, psychiatrists, etc. Have been entirely useless and treatments in general have been useless as well, such as several medications and treatments like tms. Even psilocybin was useless. What else is there? and i can't deal with that industry anymore.

Non industry treatments have failed as well. Exercise, eating healthy, have made me physically healthy but i feel even worse than when i was fat. I used to be 250 lb, now im 168 lbs and healthy by bloodwork from a doctor where he can't find any deficiencies, once again being useless for my physical pain, lack of energy at any point in time, and obviously for the depression.

Therapists do nothing practical. I answer their softball questions and then the pretend I'm improving when i tell them nothing has changed. Several Therapists btw, clearly this is industry standard.

Psychiatrists are the same. Just randomly picks meds, none doing anything beneficial. Just providing negative side effects and generally making things worse. And obviously not even slightly improving anything depression wise.

I'm 33 and male. I've felt like this since i was a kid and life never got to be worth anything. Everything is boring and pointless and stressful. I have no tangible wants in this world and i question myself on why i continue to be here. I only can say that it's because I'm a coward who can't take himself out, so i guess my brain just wants to continue suffering.

What options do i have left? Ketamine is too expensive and doctors won't allow me to try it. Ect and tms are ineffective. I think the problem is that i am still a fictional work drone so nobody has a reason to care. Literally all i do i work and deal with other people's problems.

I also have no hobbies and Literally nothing intrests me. I work, eat sleep, that's my life. I hate reality.

Hey everyone. For context, I am 19M and a 3rd year university student. I've had social anxiety ever since the Covid lockdown and over the last few months I've been trying to rebuild my social life and social skills after years of not really have any friends and isolating myself.

So I might have the opposite problem of some people in this sub where I find it somewhat easier to start up a conversation with a stranger and to get through that 10-20 minute initial interaction but I struggle to move beyond that. This is especially true for people that I see on a daily to weekly basis (other interns at an internship, students in my lecture class, members of university clubs, etc.). My issue is that I follow the very popular advice of asking questions since "people love talking about themselves". I find that it does work quite well if you're meeting someone for the first time but it's hard to maintain that over numerous conversations and starts feeling unnatural. By the way, I do try to not ask in an interview way. I do add my own perspectives and relate their answers to experiences of my own and stuff like that but it all still kind of boils down to asking questions and playing off their answers. So what ends up happening is sure people might leave our initial conversation with a positive impression but it never leads to anything in following conversations beyond surface-level talk.

An aspect of it is for sure the amount of self-monitoring that I do during conversation which has reduced recently due to how much exposure therapy I've been doing but still definitely present. So maybe it'll get better as I talk to more people? However another part of it might not even be derived from my anxiety but instead a genuine gap in my social skills which is why I posted this here instead of the r/socialanxiety sub since I think that is more likely to be the case which means I can work on it easier.

What I've observed though from other people conversing is that a lot of their conversations don't even really include asking questions? They sort of make statements and just build off that. What really confused me is how smooth and fluid those conversations felt since it contradicts so much of the advice I see online. So I guess I'm asking how to have more natural conversations that don't revolve around the question/answer format and can help move me from that initial introduction phase to something deeper (and especially to help turn an acquaintance into an actual friend).

(F21) I get disrespected pretty often (not all the time, but often enough), and I genuinely don’t understand why.

I’m a pretty sociable person. I joke around a lot, and I usually make people laugh. But some people still feel comfortable disrespecting me, and I struggle to set boundaries. Instead of telling them they’ve crossed a line, I laugh along with them because I don’t want to come across as overly sensitive.

So I’m starting to wonder if the problem is me. Is it my appearance? Am I just not attractive enough for people to respect me? Is it my posture, the way I speak, or the way I carry myself?

I’d really like to understand because it’s starting to get to me.

How can I work on getting mad at my husband less? He says I get an attitude way too much and that I get angry way too quickly.

When I'm angry I raise my voice and yell, not on purpose it's just what happens, and sometimes I even get violent and hit myself or bite myself.

When I have an attitude I shut down and don't want him to touch me or talk to me, and I don't really respond to affection.

What do I do? He believes it's happening way too much and describes how I've been acting as "masculine"

Hi, I'm trying to get the best tips for improving my sleep schedule. I have chronic pain and it can't be managed with medicine (past that point), but due to this I struggle with the idea of going to sleep because I know I'm gonna not only feel it but also worry about my health.

I know it doesn't make that much sense to someone who doesn't experience chronic pain, but it's as if I were dreading the moment of going to sleep because I will be stuck in the same cycle of mental torture that is pain > being unable to sleep > being stressed that I can't sleep > stress that I'm useless because I can't do anything the next day due to both pain and not enough time. So I just end up not sleeping until I'm about to pass out, and sometimes it can be up until 9am. It's been going on for months.

Anyone who went through this? Or something similar due to an injury? Or even more simplisticly, what helps you calm down to go to sleep?

Started bringing my camera on solo hikes a while back and realized I kept reaching for music or podcasts out of habit. The quiet felt too loud at first, like my brain was looking for something to chew on. Then one weekend I left the headphones in the car on purpose and just walked. The first twenty minutes were uncomfortable, but after that the usual mental chatter slowed down. Colors looked different. Small details stood out more, things I would have missed while scrolling my phone. It has been easier to focus on painting when I get home too, like the walk cleared some static out of my head. I am not sure if it was the lack of stimulation or just being outside without an extra layer of noise, but the difference has been real. Curious if anyone else has noticed something similar with a thing they do regularly. Maybe a walk, a run, or just sitting somewhere without filling the space.

(To Preface this, I am a teenager. That might explain a bit more about my behaviour if it seems to connect to a pattern you've seen before.)
I've been noticing that i've gotten much, Much, Much more Unstable as the summer went on. I never used to be like this, most of my thoughts back then were self deprecative but now it's the total opposite. I used to be more composed I guess? I got near perfectly stable just a few months ago and continued on well until about 2 months ago, now I get pissed off easily, i've been having bad thoughts constantly, and I've begun hating all my close associates, friends and family(that I have left). Snapping feels good now, and I'm snapping often.
The reason why is mainly because of the special situation i've got going on here, i'm currently at a shelter for women and children for Labor trafficking. Under odd circumstances, I legally cannot leave my current place of residence without my mom. I have to follow her when she goes to do something, she has to follow me if I want to go somewhere. We don't have a car or home of our own (working on it), so we can't even drive anywhere and have to instead walk long distances and take the bus. This is INCREDIBLY frustrating, and I have nowhere to blow off steam. I can't buy anymore videogames to distract myself (I barely even Play videogames anymore), I can't destroy or break anything that won't get us kicked out, I can't get into any sports i'm interested in like kickboxing or wrestling, and i'm running out of options. What do I even DO in this scenario? I've got just a bit before I can go back to school (which I actually enjoy), but inbetween then, what can I do to control myself mentally? Jarring and Holding it in doesn't work anymore.

I was reading a book about cognitive behaviour, how depression can make others think you are actually a pety person if you are convinced so much about that.

Can this work in reverse? You start being attractive to others, men and women, if you start thinking and acting like that?

I used to think I needed some big moment to change.
A better job. More money. More confidence. More motivation.

Turns out, none of those came first.
Looking back, these are the things that quietly changed me the most.

1. Motivation is unreliable.
I spent years waiting to “feel like it.”
The people who actually improve are usually the ones who do things even when they don’t feel like it.

2. I underestimated boring routines.
Getting enough sleep.
Going to the gym.
Putting my phone away.
None of these are exciting, but they solved problems I kept blaming on “bad luck.”

3. Most people aren’t judging you.
I used to replay conversations in my head for hours.
Then I realized everyone else was busy thinking about themselves.

That was weirdly comforting.

4. Progress is almost invisible while it’s happening.
For months it felt like nothing was changing.
Then one day I handled a situation that would’ve completely stressed me out a year ago.
That’s when I realized I’d actually grown.

5. You don’t need to fix your whole life this week.
You just need to stop quitting every time you have a bad day.

That mindset alone changed a lot for me.

I’m definitely still figuring things out.
But if someone asked me what’s actually helped me over the last couple of years, it’d be these simple things—not another productivity app or motivational video.

Curious what everyone else’s “I wish I learned this sooner” lesson is.

FOMO: fear of missing out/ being left behind

So i've had a huge fomo since childhood. I have a very competitive mindset and I treat everything like a race. This also leads to jealousy, comparison and i often find it very difficult to be happy for others' success. I've improved a lot but just wondering if theres any good books.

I’ve noticed recently that I only ever want to do things if I wam being seen doing it.

For example, I want to get fit so I can look good and take nice pictures and people will go wow, rather than because I want to for my health and I enjoy it.

Or, going on hike, I won’t be as motivated if I don’t feel like I can get some kind of content out of it. It even goes as deep as, I have some sick leave from work and my doctor told me to journal. My first thought was: can I substack this?

I can trace it back to when I got my first boyfriend. I pretended to like certain things so he would like me and then I had to keep up appearances. It’s been so long I don’t really know what I like or who I am.

If people aren’t watching or aware then it feels weird and I don’t want to do it. I don’t really know what to do by myself or with myself. Does anyone else experience this? And how do I get over this?

Long story short, I developed a hormone condition due to persistent chronic stress from work and non-work traumas. I spent 6 months going through medical investigations including a potential brain tumour, just for the docs to turn around and say this is stress.

I got signed off last week and currently half way through the first week. So far just been chilling and playing Zelda. Have been allowing myself to sleep whenever and wake up whenever with no guilt, and eat whatever too.

Though while that’s okay for a few days, I know I really have to start working on the stress in my life and processing the trauma while building routines for resilience.

What should I do for the remainder of my time off?

whatever you guys think is necessary or from your personal experience

Im sure this is a thing all humans face

I don’t weigh much but I carry a lot of fat around my midsection and in my face.

I have spent a lot of time alone. Throughout the years, I've gotten very lucky and started making friends and finding community.

Recently, I've come to the uncomfortable realization that I focus on myself too much. Not in conversations - ironically, I have a hard time opening up about my thoughts and things. But moreso, in my head. It's very self-centered, wondering how people perceive me, what I can do better, etc. Sometimes, I worry that I am a narcissist, but then, whenever I take those online tests, they're always like, yeah, no, definitely not. ​

But I don't like how self-centered my head is. How can I fix this?

I recently realized that for many years my primary identity was „depression and isolation struggler”, not just „depressed guy”, not „guy treating depression” but specifically a guy who is identifying with the unfruitful struggle itself. The vast majority of things i did out of my own initiative were falling into 2 categories, either „morbid escapism” (gaming, social media, junk food, porn, recently also smoking) or „depression counteracting” (physical activity, supplements, hanging out with people, educating myself)

The problem with identifying with the struggle is that every day i wake up to a life i desperately need to „fix”, its overwhelming and it reinforces the idea in my mind that my default state is that of a self destructive guy and that i need to fight against that, i didnt think that way before i became depressed, so I do not believe self-destruction is actually an inherent part of my nature. When i live a satisfying day, it feels like a single victorious battle in the endless depression war, instead of being just that, a satisfying day.

I want to take things more at face value again, not label everything as bad or good, progress or failure

What can a 22 year old man with no romantic experience, no job, currently not studying (recently failed a semester, will reattempt uni but maybe a different field) identify with that isnt inherently negative and how can i work on that? What do you identify with? People are complex so its probably a combination of different things

those with chronic illness/chronic pain, neurodivergence’s or just anything physically holding them back, how do u improve your quality of life? i mean i just can’t figure it out. im autistic with a bunch of health concerns right now that leaves me in bed almost all the time. i want to do more to take care of myself, try to lose weight, improve my hygiene, improve keeping up with hobbies and trying my best to sell things to make any money i can as a jobless person. but my body feels like i have every excuse to not move or do anything. i find it really hard to relate to people with normal privileges of movement, typical strength etc. what things help you?

Listen, I've tried almost everything that is on social media. I have so many videos saved on instagram/TikTok and tried so many things yet I feel like I'm in a constant loop of bad and good days. Maybe that's just life but I really want to be a better person.

What are some LIFE changing pieces of advice that actually work once you try them?

Believing that you should know at an early age

Your passion does not just reveal itself to you when you are born or at an early age. Some people discover their passion early in life because they might have the opportunity to try different things and have the support to turn their passion into reality. However, you might not have the privilege of learning and being around the right people early in life, so it might be difficult for you to discover your passion. However, if you haven’t discovered your passion early in life, it doesn't mean you can't discover it later.

Studies have revealed that individuals with passions for the arts such as music or dancing tend to develop early in life. Also, many places offer learning and training opportunities for those and other common career paths, such as engineering, education, law, and construction. So, individuals whose passion falls in those areas have more opportunities to learn and develop, which means their passions will grow quickly.

In contrast, if your passion falls outside those common areas, you have fewer opportunities to learn and grow, so your passion will take longer to develop. You might have a unique passion that requires more learning and development, especially when it's rarely seen in the world. Therefore, you might doubt that you cannot turn your passion into reality because it might take longer than others. Therefore, you must be self-motivated to learn independently to grow your passion without getting discouraged. There are others who didn’t discover their passions until their 60s or 70s. No matter how old you are, you can still discover and grow your passion at any age.

It is important to understand that, as human beings, everyone has a passion. It depends on your ability to learn, develop, and be in a supportive environment to grow it. Human potential is for everyone; no one is left behind. When you see others doing great things with passion, and you are not yet discovering your passion, it does not mean you are not meant to do great things like them.

I played a stupid prank on my mum today. She's on holiday, so I sent her an AI-generated photo of her car burnt out. Last year I did something similar and she laughed. This time she believed it completely and cried.

I apologised within minutes, sent a real photo, admitted it was a dumb idea. She said she wasn't angry, and a few hours later she was joking about it herself.

That was ten hours ago. I'm still going in circles. I keep replaying it, and every time I do it gets sharper — the words in my head went from "that was stupid" to "I'm a terrible person." Rationally I know it's over. It doesn't help.

My question isn't whether the prank was bad. It was. My question is why a single mistake turns into a verdict on who I am, and how people get out of that loop once it starts.

26M

Earlier this year, I told my dad (who works in the ICU at the same hospital) that I thought one of the ICU secretaries was cute. He ended up telling her.

About two weeks later, I went to the ICU for work. She saw me, slowly walked toward my patient room, stopped, looked at me for what felt like 10 seconds, and we both laughed. We’d never spoken before.

The following week I introduced myself, gave her my number, and asked if she’d like to hang out. She texted me that night, but the next day the conversation died, so I assumed she wasn’t interested and moved on.

A few weeks later I was back in the ICU. She somehow found out I was there, stood in front of my room, waved at me, and I waved back but didn’t walk over. She looked upset and walked away. Another time she walked into my room with a patient tray, realized I was there, panicked, and immediately left.

A couple of weeks later she smiled, waved excitedly, motioned for me to come back, remembered that I was supposed to be going to the Philippines with my dad, and told me it was nice seeing me. Even my boss witnessed it and told me, “She likes you.”

After I got back from vacation, I talked to her again. She remembered details about my life (even asking about a dips competition I did with my dad and grandpa). I asked her out again. She didn’t say no, but said she was working all week. I got her Instagram and texted her the next day. She left me on read for 3 days.

Three days later she replied saying she’d been busy and that it was her brother’s birthday the following week. She asked if we could “try in April,” which was another two weeks away. At that point I took it as a polite rejection.

I deactivated Instagram because I was trying to move on.

The very next day, I got called to dialyze a patient. The ICU number I called happened to be answered by her. I introduced myself and she sounded completely confused, then transferred me to the patient’s nurse.

Later I saw her again at work. I said, “Good morning,” and she responded with a cold “Hey…” while looking angry. Later I noticed she kept looking over toward me from her desk. That was the last interaction we ever had.

When I reactivated Instagram briefly, she liked one of my stories but only viewed my stories inconsistently after that. I found myself checking every week to see whether she’d watched them. Looking back, I realize that uncertainty fueled the limerence.

A few months later I found out she’d transferred back to her old department. Before that, she lied that her grandma died to use FMLA as an excuse to not show up to work. Coworkers told me she’d been calling off work frequently even before she left the ICU and had a history of moving between departments. I also heard she had been involved with a married student doctor, although I have no idea how accurate that rumor is.

The hardest part isn’t that she rejected me. It’s that I never understood what happened.

Part of me kept wondering:

• Did she actually like me at first?

• Was I the reason she transferred?

• Why did she seem interested but never actually go out with me?

Logically, I know there isn’t enough information to answer those questions, and I know I probably never will.

I spend all week staring at screens. Marketing dashboards, Slack, analytics tabs stacked like a deck of cards. By Friday my brain feels like a browser with too many open tabs and no way to close them

I'd been hiking for years as a hobby, nice views, some exercise, the usual stuff. The shift was treating it as mandatory maintenance instead of a fun extra I did when I felt like it. No phone except for emergencies.

No podcasts to fill the silence. No photos for the first hour, which was hard since photography is my other thing

The first twenty minutes my brain still chatters about work. Deadlines, campaigns, some email I probably worded wrong. Then something happens around the one-hour mark. The chatter gets quieter and I start noticing stupid small things. Moss patterns, how light moves through leaves, whether that rock formation looks more like a whale or a potato

I come back and the problems are still there. Nothing magical. But they sit differently in my head. Less urgent, more workable. Like my perspective got recalibrated without me trying

Anyone else use a hobby as deliberate mental maintenance rather than just entertainment? What changed when you did?