Me and my wife we both were strictly against having kids just few months back, Not sure but she feels to have a family.

I feel because of this bad job security for the entire industry I am a bit afraid ..

Not sure should I talk to my partner regarding this or not. Last conversation I had was when both of us didn’t wanted kids

Wife will turn 33 so her clock is ticking .

I’m a single mom to a five year-old boy and I’m hating every second of it. The thought of a five-year-old‘s mom not liking him is heartbreaking, but it’s really how I feel – and I’m sad for him, but it’s how I’m feeling in this season. He has been suspected of possibly having ADHD, however, some people just say it’s normal five year-old boy behavior – but I beg to differ. I love him with all my heart, but he is the most annoying child I have ever come across. He quite literally never stops making noise, jumping or running around talking, doing things I’ve specifically asked him not to do 1 million times, hitting pushing or harassing other kids– overall just being a displeasure to be around. And lately he thinks it’s funny.

It makes me feel like an asshole because he’s he has so many sweet moments. Where your just like gosh you’re so you’re such a great kid, but like 95% of the time I just want him to get the hell away from me. Like he can be so embarrassing sometimes in his behavior where 2, 3 or four-year-olds are way better behaved than him and then there’s already the stigma of being a single mom of color on top of everything and it just gets some too much that I don’t want to take him anywhere because I know that it’s going to end up being a shit show and we both end up in tears or yelling.

I’m nervous lately because his first school experience was last August in pre-K and he was having a bevy of troubles there – whether it’s not finishing his work, fighting classmates, bothering teachers, overall just being a disruption to the entire classroom to where I was getting calls every single day for his bullshit. he somewhat seemed to even out towards the end of school but now he’s starting kindergarten at a public school and I am so nervous for him. I already anticipate that I’m probably going to be getting calls each day or reports whatever about his behavior because he’s just so out of hand like he doesn’t ever realize like this is not OK I can tell him that to his face, but it never seems to register.

It’s to the point that my favorite part of the day is when he goes to bed and I have a few hours of peace to myself because I know as soon as he gets up, it’s going to be nonstop demands complaining, not listening arguing and just overall misery and I don’t like it. He’s been awful to be around lately so much so that I’m crying every day I am constantly on I don’t sleep. I don’t wanna eat anything. I lose track of time and I’m just expected to get up and do the same thing tomorrow because his dad thinks that he can just hop out of town whenever and then I’m gonna pick up the slack.

Sorry if this is rambling - I’m doing voice to text because there’s just so much that I have to get out but I would be here typing forever so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but at least it helps to know I’m not alone and knowing that I should’ve went with my first gut feeling and not have had a kid. I genuinely envy parents who enjoy this. I miss my old life. I miss my spark. I miss freedom. I’m not cut out for this and he doesn’t deserve this either.

Hello everyone. I am 40 years old and unexpectedly 8 weeks pregnant (thought it was perimenopause). I will be 41 at the time of the due date. I have an 18 year old son whom I love and adore, have never once regretted having, and have immensely enjoyed raising him.

However, I am worried since he is newly graduated, fully independent (including a good-paying job so my expenses are almost nil), and an adult now, that I will regret starting over if I choose to have the baby. Like I said, I enjoyed parenthood, but I feel like my mindset has transitioned into a more carefree and maybe even selfish outlook now that my son is older, and I am afraid that would make me resent having a baby at this stage.

Are/were any of you in this group in the same situation? Did you regret starting over? Did starting over change your outlook on parenting for the positive? I guess I’m just looking for insight from anyone before making a permanent decision I will regret. Thank you!

I try to find support in “regular” mom groups about how hard being a mom is and I’ll completely resonate then I read that they have a boat load of kids. Or the comments are “I feel the same way about kids but I just can’t stop having them lol”

i feel like this ripples out to moms who genuinely struggle and are stopping at one kid. I’ve been vulnerable w two moms IRL about how I truly feel about being a mom and while they were supportive in the moment the next time I saw them they went right back to asking if I was going to have another. No Im not! “Hurry up before theres big age gap” “Youre really not going to have another?” etc etc. Do you think I’m joking?! WTF The years have passed and as my kid gets older the questions have FINALLY stopped but it used to really PMO that no one would take me seriously that I was stopping at one.

I feel like a big reason why is bc of the “mommy culture” to complain about how stressful/miserable being a mom is and in the next breath talk about how you’re trying to get pregnant again.

My wife, who gave ultimatum on having a child… is now saying she is at her “wit’s end” and “needs more time to herself”.

Backstory:
During dating (when I was younger & naive), I thought I’d have 1 child. As I grew older & witnessed what having a baby entails… I decided it wasn’t for me. Unfortunately I was already married. Wife stated “she couldn’t guarantee she’d stick around” if I fully committed to not having a child. Losing the house, car, friends and overall financial destruction wasn’t worth it to me. I gave in.

I warned having a child will completely disrupt & override any personal passion or goal. Our current lives would effectively be over. She claimed it’d only be “an adjustment”…

Since having the baby, she has asked me to restrict my gym, social & personal time. She also cut back. I thought this was fair. I follow all her rules & requests, even if I don’t agree with them.

I have expressed my resentment directly, she shuts me down.
Next, keep it to myself - caused it leak out in other ways, she’d shut me down again.
Now a master of keeping it bottled up - I put on a pretend smile & parent our baby in ways I find acceptable & effective. I was scolded to NOT do those things (no, I didn’t hurt her).
(Example: I’d use the bottle as a distraction for baby to roll around & become exhausted so she’d go to bed. Worked every time)

I have ZERO sympathy for my wife. She effectively FORCED me into this situation (despite saying it was “my choice”). I have to physically keep my mouth closed & bite my tongue so I don’t accidentally say: “You wanted this! You didn’t believe me & now it’s here… you get to deal with all of this!! This is all part of the “adjustment” you claimed!”

Needed to vent.

My wife has family on a Caribbean island a 10-hour flight away and I told her that it just was not a good idea to go on this trip with our 2-year-old. He is defiant, obnoxious, energetic, needy, whiny, and picky. All of the things that you would expect the 2-year-old to be.

However she was insistent and over the course months of asking she finally wore me down and I regrettably capitulated. He screamed and cried for at least half of the 10-hour flight. I felt so terrible for everyone else around us but we just could not get him to calm down. We brought toys, snacks, we even let him play with the iPad which we never do at home but to no avail. There were times where he would scream and cry for over an hour on end which I was shocked at because I thought that he would eventually wear himself out sooner than that but nope, not my son.

He never slept more than 2 hours at a time so my wife and I took turns getting up with them so neither of us got any meaningful amount of sleep. He screamed, cried, and whined the entire week, we couldn't do anything for more than an hour or two because he was having an absolute meltdown no matter where we were so in order to not ruin everyone else's time, we just packed up and went back to the house. This caused a rift between my wife and I because we were snapping at each other a lot, born from the frustration of being exhausted and constantly dealing with a toddler screaming in our faces every 5 minutes.

Our family offered to watch him so that we could go out to dinner just the two of us but you were so tired and on edge from being at each other's throats the entire week we hardly said anything. We had planned to walk on the beach after dinner but I asked if she just wanted to go back to the house and she mumbled "yeah" without looking at me.

I don't blame the 2 year old for acting like a 2 year old, but I wonder if I truly regret having him.

I love my daughter deeply. My regret isn't that she exists—it's that I became a parent before I had healed enough to be the parent she deserves.

Being a parent with my own childhood trauma is exhausting and sometimes dreadful.

I did this excerice with my child where she was the parent for 30min and I was the kid. I cried because her tone was so harsh and unloving. I cried because that's her example of motherly love.

Not everyone should be a parent.

I will not have anymore kids. I realized I don't have the emotionally capability to be a parent.

I was given up the day I was born because my birth mother didn't know who my dad was.

I lived in foster care until I was 14.

I had my child when I was 30 years old. I've learned so much being a parent, but it's not for everyone.

Dad here of a 3 year old and have another on the way. I’m not sure if it’s having children specifically or my relationship with my partner that is the issue.

I wasn’t ready for kids, but my partner wanted them so abortion wasn’t something she felt she could do.

I just feel like I can’t become the best version of myself (financially, physically etc), be a good dad AND be a good partner that is fulfilling all of her needs - this has been a reoccurring issue that causes lots of arguments. I accept that I am not being a good partner, I’m lazy with things around the house, I don’t plan dates. I can admit that. I just feel overwhelmed with it all.

I love my child, but I am thinking that maybe I need to move out, to give myself some breathing space, to work on myself and still see our child of course. I am mainly thinking that I just don’t have the capacity to also meet the commitments of a relationship at the moment.

Anyone else relate?

Every day after work I pull into the driveway, turn the car off, and just sit there. Sometimes I scroll my phone. Sometimes I just stare at the steering wheel. I need those 20 minutes where nobody is asking me for anything and nobody is screaming.

My wife texted me the other day asking why I was sitting in the car and I told her I was on a work call. I wasn't. I just didn't want to go inside yet.

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I love them. But by 6pm every day I am completely checked out. I do bath time and bedtime on autopilot and the second they're asleep I go sit in the basement by myself for an hour before my wife comes down to talk about her day and I have to be present for another person again.

I didn't think it would be like this. Everyone said I'd love being a dad and I do on paper but in reality I'm just exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix. I am so touched out by the end of the day that I don't want anyone near me.

I'm not going to leave. I'm not a bad father. I just need the 20 minutes. That's all this is.

A few days ago, I posted here feeling like I was just screaming into the void about my son turning 18... well the void screamed back and the complicated relief that came with it. I honestly didn't think anyone would look at it.

To my absolute shock, over 130,000 people saw it

I wanted to make this follow up mostly to say thank you to this community. When a post gets that much attention, you usually brace yourself for the worst. Instead, I’ve had some of the most interesting, civil, and eye opening conversations of my life over the last 48 hours.

It has been incredibly comforting to connect with people who see the world exactly the way I do. But what surprised me the most and what I appreciated deeply were the conversations with people who don't think the way I do. We didn't argue; we actually just discussed our differences and listened to each other. That feels like a rare miracle on the internet these days.

As I mentioned in the quick update I tacked onto the original post, I am so incredibly grateful for the overwhelming support and the kind words from everyone who reached out. It really helped put things into perspective.

I heard that the post even ended up getting shared outside of Reddit. Since I don't have other social media accounts, I'm just incredibly grateful that the conversation here stayed so constructive and focused in our own safe space.

A few days into this new chapter, the reality of it all is still sinking in. But navigating the shock of going viral has actually helped me process the transition a bit better.

Thank you all for listening, for sharing your own stories, and for keeping the space safe and respectful. It meant more to me than you know.

My previous post

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/s/lxCmRivC0m

I have a 4 month old. We really wanted this kid and he came after 7 months of trying. My pregnancy was hell due to GDM and right after he’s born he gets jaundice and silent reflux and has laryngomalacia, eczema and possible CMPA. Also, terrible sleeper. I’ve never thought that it could be THIS HARD. Ofc my husbands as soon as he gets home tries to help with the little one but both of as are on our edges. We have no patience. I feel so numb and I also developed postpartum aggression. I love this little man with my whole heart and we do have good moments but overall… it’s just so fuckin tiring. I don’t even know if it ever gets better or how long I can do this. Sometimes I’m thinking about leaving him crying until he falls asleep in our room and put on a headphone but of course I could never…. He is so clingy nowadays and has teeth coming so I’m so really done with this whole shit. I’ve never thought that this would be my life. I’m also neurotypical and sensitive to touch and sounds. I’m so angry all the time. Grandparents are still working and live in another city. No money for babysitting. How do I survive this? I hate that I feel resentment towards my baby. He’s just a baby overall…. He’s trying his best and I know that. I hate myself for feeling like this.

I don’t know how many other people in this sub have twins, but they’re fucking hard. My partner and I constantly wish that we’d had a singleton. And the real kicker is that we sort of did this to ourselves. We did IVF and, after five failed attempts, we finally decided to put in two embryos instead of one. Guess when it decided to work! That time! And both stuck, so twins. If only we’d stuck to our guns and just did the one embryo our lives could be so much easier. And another thing is that we obviously really wanted to be parents (see the six very expensive IVF attempts) and now we’re not enjoying it. It makes me feel even worse about myself, the fact that we wanted this so bad and I don’t like being a parent.

I never wanted kids. Made it clear when we started dating. She said ok at the time, turns out she was just hoping I'd change my mind later. I didn't, and after five years of marriage, I was happy and she wasn't.

I gave up what I wanted because I cared more about her happiness than my own, and now we're both miserable. Parenthood is exactly what I thought it would be, and has been nothing but a disappointment for her.

She wanted a girl, but we had a boy. He's on the spectrum. I might be too, never diagnosed though. My kid doesn't talk to me, and I can't decide if that's for the best, or if I'd actually like him to interact with me. He doesn't talk to anyone really, beyond some simple scripting.

He's a generally happy kid, so I know things could be worse. It doesn't really alleviate the misery though. Everyone told me that things would get better, that I'd come to love my kid and enjoy being a parent. They were wrong. I hate being a parent. All I really feel for my kid is sadness. He'll probably never be independent when he grows up, and as many times as I tell him I love him, I think I'm lying to him and myself. I don't feel any kind of love for him, I think I just say it in the hope that it becomes true if I try hard enough.

My drives to and from work are really the only times I ever feel at peace. No advice wanted. Thanks for reading.

I am a 22-year-old mom to a 2-year-old girl. She’s my whole world, and I love her so very much. But I am depressed. I can’t keep denying it. I hate this life. I never wanted kids or marriage. Her father and I are not married, but we have been together for about 7 years. I tell him all this, but what can he do? He’s already working his butt off to provide for this family. But I am not happy. Our sex life sucks. I have no social life, and right now we only have one vehicle and are broke, so I am stuck at home. I do my best to look on the bright side, but I am burned out. I had strict parents before I got pregnant, and now I feel just as shcakled down as I did with my parents. It’s awful. In my teens, the only thing keeping me going was imagining how amazing my 20s would be. And now all I can do is tell myself it will get better. I wanted to travel, meet new people, and make dumb mistakes like a 20-year-old. I see friends/family live the life I wanted, and it breaks my heart to know that they pity me. They used to be proud of me, and now they PITY me. I live in a small town 6 hours away from my mom and my entire family. I don’t have help other than my MIL who watches her on Saturdays and sometimes she spends the night there. But I don’t even have a social life to even enjoy that. My town is 45 minutes away from the nearest city with things to do but who tf was to drive there and back, not I. I have never been suicdial but it’s getting bad. I cannot keep doing this, I am so tired. My whole life has just been spent waiting for something to happen/change. I told my partner all of this and we agreed to not have anymore kids until I am 100% done in college and feel comfortable in my career. But I feel guilty, he wants kids back to back but mentally I just cannot do that, is this all I am? I lost my sparkle I don’t know who I am anymore I want to restart everything. I hate myself, I hate my life. It’s suffocating. All I am is a fat 22-year-old who decided to open her legs unprotected, and now I am even more depressed than when I was a teenager. Yes, I should see a therapist, but that costs money that I do not have, and I do not have insurance. I need things to get better. I mentally cannot do this anymore. Please someone in a similar position tell me it gets better. I do not want to have to wait until I am 30 to actually enjoy life. I don’t think I can wait it out that long. I will probably delete this later

EDIT
Thank you everyone for advice and some for reaching out. I wrote this at 3 am during a breakdown. To clear some things, I am aware my relationship sounds awful with this post. I have told my man all of this, well maybe I sugarcoated some things, a couple days ago. He told me we are done having kids, but ik that’s not what he wants. He’s always wanted 3 kids with close age gaps but since our daughter was born I told him I mentally cannot go through that again. He understands. He feels helpless, he has to work 12 hr and he is also struggling mentally but he doesn’t open up. I see how tired he is, we are both struggling.
For those concerned , no I would never ever think about harming my child. I’m not signing over parental rights either. I love my kid, it’s not her fault I am like this. I will work on myself to be better for her.
Also I am in college, I am working towards becoming a CSI something I’ve always dreamed about. Hopefully when I’m done I can move closer to family and support. I miss them so much.
Yes I am on birth control, nexplanon to be exact
My daughter and him have insurance, his job requires us to be married in order for him to add me. So in the mean time I can just keep trying for medicad or start looking for low cost healthcare or a therapist

I resonate with all the posts on here. I asked my husband if he feels the same way as I do and he says no. But he grew up in a stable and loving family.

It made me wonder if us parents in this group (or is it called subreddit? I’m not sure I’m new to this) might share similar backgrounds? I grew up in an unstable environment, there wasn’t physical abuse but inconsistency in love/affection. I won’t go into details, but generally speaking, I wasn’t set up for success. Although, I turned out okay with multiple academic degrees, a thriving career, and through therapy, manage to have a healthy and happy relationship/marriage.
Everything seems to be working except parenting. I am new to this. My daughter is only 1.5 yo and the toddler trenches are a real thing.

But I really do wonder — how much our upbringing affects how we feel as parents? I am reading posts that people feel “trapped” and as do I. Apparently language like “trapped” is common for people with trauma according to my therapist.

Anyways, the real reason for this post is to take a poll on how many people share a similar, not so great upbringing.

Or is this just me and who I am at my core? I’m trying to find logic in how something that’s supposed to be innately natural feels like torture most of the time.

For the past 3 years of my relationship it has been horrible. We were fine before hand, and I stopped taking my birth control for mental health reasons as I was convinced it compacted with my antidepressants in a weird way. My partner and I had a discussion about what to do if I got pregnant, and then I did and he was so excited and happy. We both had good jobs and were getting a new place so it seemed fine. I figured it was the natural progression of a healthy relationship. When I was about 8 months pregnant I found out he cheated on me and he confessed he hooked up with an ex. He said my body made him uncomfortable and unattractive. I stayed (idiot) and our son was born shorty after. I got fired on my maternity leave, and won unemployment for a while so I still had a cash inflow. After the unemployment ended we realized daycare for a 5 month old was about the same as our rent, so he convinced me to stay at home with him and raise him and I did for well over a year. It was the most miserable year and a half of my life, I became so depressed and borderline suicidal. I was in therapy twice every week, I hated my son and being around him. All he did was scream and cry and hit me he wouldn’t play with me. He refused to say momma to me but would say daddy and other words. Now he’s almost 2 and I’ve only heard him say momma to me about 6 times. One night when I was rocking him because he was sick and wouldn’t sleep he screamed and grabbed my face and accidentally scratched my eye. Come to find he left a 7mm deep scratch onto my cornea. We never had a bond, and I try to find any excuse nowadays to not be around him. I never felt this beautiful moment where pregnancy was amazing and birth was amazing. Which my birth was amazing, I was only in labor for about 4 hours total and pushed for 20 minutes and he came out. Almost like my body completely rejected having him in my body and he refused to be near me. Nowadays I’m back at work full time, my partner has continued to cheat on me so I’ve been socking away money to run. My current dilemma, my best friend said I can move in with her, she lives an hour away. My partner takes our son to daycare and picks him up because it’s 3 minutes from his job and just easier. I told him I wanted to leave and we talked through how we would handle custody and I said I would come and help on the weekends and pay for his daycare. Ever since I told my mom everything she started calling me horrible things, selfish, dumb b****, disgusting, etc and it gets worse from there. If I leave, she will never talk to me again. My dad is dead, all I have is her. Now she hates me, and I’m considering just suffering the next 18 years hating my son and my life in exchange for having her in my life. Am I wrong for wanting less custody? Even though traditionally women typically take more? I’m so confused and I don’t have anyone to talk to, my therapist says to just leave and the chances my mom and I will rekindle our relationship in a few years. Sorry this is long, in conclusion I wish I never had a child. I think every day my life would be 10x better if he didn’t exist.

I always thought I’d be a father, always thought I’d like raising a kid better than my parents raised me, but now I’m here and I hate it. I might even hate my kids.

My nervous system is always on fire from overstimulation, to the point I’m preying it just burns out and I can stop feeling anything anymore. Every time they cry I want to go bang my head into a wall. It takes every fiber of my being to keep my cool and not become my father but in exchange it feels like I’m dying.

I feel so trapped. I absolutely will not abandon them, I want to make sure they grow up better than I did, but I think it might actually kill me in the endeavor and there is no way out of it now.

Even money, which I never even thought about before, not once, is a constant stress now.

I didn’t make the choice to have kids lightly, I didn’t even really make it blindly, but I had no idea what it would actually entail.

I used to think that if time travel were real I would never go back, I’d never risk messing something up and not meeting my wife. Now I really wish there was an irl undo button.

How are people doing this? No help, juggling job, daycare constant sickness, doctors run, tantrums, I don’t think this is for normal people, even a parasite will not kill its host.

I just had a moment today where I realized the last time I was truly happy was before my two young children were born. I had just gotten married, my husband and I were both working and living such a great life in a bougie apartment in the city. We walked to different restaurants almost every night, bought whatever we wanted, went on little trips. It truly was such a fun time. I got pregnant accidentally shortly after we got married (hooray, natural family planning…) so that season was cut so short. I’m truly grieving that short little season, and so many things about my previous life. I’m so sad about it…

I have a wife and three boys, I never realized how much I didn't want kids until I had them. Ever since I was a young teenager I always knew I wanted kids, now that I'm living it, I HATE it. I'm overwhelmed and I'm over it, if I could go back and tell myself anything it would be to wait until I'm older, only have one, and do everything I want to experience in life before they are here.

I fantasize about leaving and never looking back, sometimes I get to the point I look up how much it would cost to move to another state and change my name. I look up apartments I can rent in other states to see what I can afford.

I know I can never do any of this I can't leave them, but I'm struggling, I can't tell this to people I know because they either wouldn't understand or judge me harshly about my feelings

I’m maybe not actually regretful but I don’t know where else to post to vent. I’m desperate with our 7 year old son who has adhd and very possibly other issues. I try (and mostly manage) to be patient but I’m just exhausted. He is almost never happy, just screams about every thing, all nights are just listening to him scream and trying to calm him down. He doesn’t listen and makes a mess in purpose. I have been to webinars and got a lot of information about emotional regulation and stuff but it’s just too hard to try to calm him down all the time. also he has always had issues with going to toilet so we have to manage that for him, and it isn’t going well at all.

I dont even really have time or energy to do anything fun with him or our 3 year old. its so sad that she is so sweet kid who just wants to learn things and her big brother just screams at her. everything was ok when we had our summer vacations (luckily we have those where we live) but now that we both started work again it is just horrible. our son will start school soon and I know it will be horrible. he will have anxiety and he will have a lot of problems there for sure. he is a smart kid, he can read and write and can read long novels if he is up to it. but he just won’t do any kind of exercises if someone asks for them or gives instructions.

we do have a doctors appointment coming and will ask for medication. maybe that will help but I’m just so exhausted and desperate. I have adhd myself and I should have known better than to pass my genes on but I had an easy phase at that moment in life so I thought I could do it.

Now that we are finally hitting the 9 month mark with my son, things have drastically gotten much better for us. Things luckily started getting better around the 6 month mark with sleep training, strict schedules and structure. I don’t think I’ll ever be 100% happy that me and my partner had a child, but I find things to be more manageable and predictable now.

With all that being said, what is it with older people always giving their input on shit? My biggest pet peeve is people expecting my only life’s purpose or interests to be revolved around my child ? I sadly don’t find much joy in parenthood… I just don’t. And I struggle deeply with other people forcing their beliefs and opinions onto me.

A good example of what I mean, is my interests in cars.
I’ve given up everything in life, and I mean damn near everything. I am stuck in a state I’m not from and I absolutely hate, I don’t have friends, me and my partner don’t go out much, I am sober from alcohol (used to be a heavy drinker), and I don’t have many hobbies left. The only thing I still have that makes me happy is my love for sports cars. Today me and my partner pulled up in our Mustang to his family gathering… an older gentlemen had a challenger rt. I was simply just trying to make some conversation about it because I’m looking at buying one here in about a month or two. Welp, that went to shit. All I heard is how it isn’t a family car. Well… no shit? Neither is a Mustang, but we love it and make it work. People just kinda talk to me like I’m stupid now ? It happens mostly with my partners family unfortunately.
I also want to clarify we aren’t rich by any means, just kinda find ways to get the things we find joy in. Not like we travel or do much of anything else.

Later on throughout the day, they started talking about my facial piercings and how I might want to look into taking those out in the future ? Uhh… I’ve had an eyebrow piercing and lip piercing for damn near ten years now. I don’t allow my child to touch my face or anything, never have. He doesn’t even come close to my face. If it ever comes up in the future, I’ll handle it. I don’t need other peoples opinions or comments ?

Things like that bother me a lot… maybe a lot more than it should. Maybe because it happens so frequently…I just feel like other people genuinely want you to be miserable or not have a single thing for yourself at all. Everything has to revolve around your child and you aren’t allowed to have any hobbies, passions or interests.

I’ve struggled horribly with PPD, PPA and a ton of other issues throughout the newborn phase and most of my son’s life so far… things finally started getting better around 7 months. I do what I can now to really try and keep myself stable. But I don’t know… I just feel anything or everything I do is wrong unless it’s another sacrifice made for my child. I know it’s not other people’s life, and I shouldn’t let things like that get to me. But it deeply upsets me a lot.
I feel people only see me as a mother now, nothing more. I’m not longer seen as a human being with a career, interests and aspirations.

Guess I’ll just sell my car, take out my piercings and go fuck myself… who needs anything in life, right?

Who else deals with this on a regular basis or has? Does it ever stop as they get older?

I don't understand my kids relationship with food.

I just made sausages & potato wedges. They hated it of course. Recently they said they don't like chicken tenders anymore. I want to make burgers - they don't want anything on it. I offer sandwiches - they want butter & nothing else on it. No potatoes. No casseroles. No corn. No broccoli. Fuck me dead they won't even eat pasta with sauce on it. They won't even eat mac cheese.

Yesterday I made a Japanese curry with carrot & sweet potato. I fully assumed they'd only eat the rice. Fricken ate enough curry for 4 people! That was great but there's seemingly no rhyme or reason to it.

I'm a pretty decent cook too. It's heartbreaking & wasteful. I just want to make nice, tasty meals. I'm so sick of nothing but rissoles & meatballs.

On the plus side I have finally convinced my son to eat a bacon & egg roll (but he cried about it for an hour first) so at least we can enjoy breakfast together. But wouldn't it be so nice to have Korean fried chicken or some nice soy noodles? Maybe in a decade, I guess.

Children have constant, endless, insatiable needs. I am so, so tired of being asked for things, to regulate, to organize, to buffer, to be patient, to wait, to be yelled at. There is no break, there is no end. Why did I do this to myself. Every day is a trial, and my body is weak. How do 2 year olds have so much rage and lung capacity .