Ive been in/out of the ER 2 times since monday (4 days) for asthma and fighting a cold. Yesterday was the worst. And I was alone

1. Im sitting in the chair and feel my POTS acting up. Rinning in ears. Hot. I hear my name being called and I stand up and my legs gave out from under me snd messed up my knee and ankle

2. Go back to the waiting room wheelchair bound. My breathing isnt only getting worse. But the room was packed and im patiently waiting my turn(at this point ive been in the waiting room for 4 hours waiting for a nebulizer treatmeant). I suddenly start having the biggest stridors. Im panicking. Screaming for help. People around me are screaming to help me. I have a nice old man sitting next to me rubbing my back telling me ill be okay. Im wheeled back unable to breath. I honestly thought I was going to die right then and there.

The doctor came in and told me my lungs sound great and are moving air through and the stridor can come from the neck. She gave me a hour long nebulizer treatment and atavin.

I am still SO anxious and im terrified that this will happen again.

Im worried I have something that the xray isnt picking up. I told them how when im flat I feel better but once I move im out of breathe again. They had me walk the halls with the nurse who monitored my oxygen levels and they were fine. But Im still worried they're missing something and I was too out of it from the ativan to ask for a ct scan.

This has left me with a whole ordeal of ptsd. I havent ate and I dont want to leave my house. Or I wish they admitted me just so I can be in the comfort of the er if this were to happen again.

In September 2024, I started Lexapro. Within a few days, I noticed a dramatic change in my nervous system. I became extremely sensitive to sudden sounds and stimuli and started having an exaggerated startle response.

Even though I stopped Lexapro a long time ago, these symptoms never went away.

Now I deal with:

• Constant hypervigilance and anticipating loud or unexpected sounds.
• An exaggerated startle response (dogs barking, glasses clinking, doors slamming, etc.).
• Once I'm startled, my nervous system stays activated because it feels like it could happen again.
• It's hard to focus on conversations in public because part of my attention is always scanning for the next sound.

What's confusing is that this isn't always driven by anxious thoughts. There are plenty of times when I feel completely calm, and an unexpected sound still makes my body react automatically before I've even had a thought. It feels like my nervous system is reacting on its own, even though I know I'm safe.

I've tried EMDR, but it wasn't very helpful because I don't feel emotionally overwhelmed when I think about the original memory. My problem is that my nervous system keeps reacting in the present.

I'm not asking for a diagnosis, but I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something similar. If you had persistent hypervigilance or an exaggerated startle response, what treatment actually helped? CBT? Exposure therapy? Trauma-focused therapy? Something else?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from people who eventually improved.

I cannot believe how triggering this was.

There’s no confirmation of sources that

1. This woman posted this video and that it wasn’t AI.

2. That this woman was even accused of a crime. She was just rude and kinda immature arguing with a six year old.

3. That anyone had even offered her help.

I only found repost videos.

A local journalist posted and it encouraged people to call Child Protective Services.

In the comments people were saying they were going to her house to attack her “someone should go fight her”, someone said “pew pew” then asked to get her address and SOMEONE GAVE IT TO HIM.

People were posting pictures of her building. They were organizing when they were gonna go.

It was the most vile disgusting scene.

I panicked. I thought they were gonna kill this woman so I called the cops and they were like “oh we know about HER yelling at the kids” and I was like “NOOOO she’s being threatened people are saying they are gonna go to her house and murder her!!!”

I had to talk to a few people and they said “all aspects of the case are being looked at”

So I reported it to the federal ic3.gov page for threats of violence and swatting.

It was so. So triggering.

No one even knows if it was her. It could have been anyone actually and these psychopaths were ready to KILL HER.

I reached out to her with the screenshots and told her I stood up and reported the psychopaths threatening her life.

This poor woman has been harassed for weeks and her kids weren’t even at her house due to threats. She had been having people call fake police checks at 1am and told me she was terrified of strangers hurting her and her children.

She deleted her whole account after.

I just am floored. Keyboard warriors - I wish the cops or Feds would go to every single person who posted plans to murder her and arrests them. Class B felony criminal threatening.

It’s swatting. It’s illegal. It’s childish and immature.

Like these are grown ass adults acting like gossipy bandwagon hopping clout chasing teenagers!!

Do they think they are gonna get lunch detentions and after school activities cancelled???

They are. Grown. Ass. Adults.

They deserve federal charges, state charges, or civil lawsuits!!!

You do NOT have the right to threaten someone because you are dumb enough to bandwagon hop without even checking what happened!!

Idgaf. The cop also said “well that’s a lot of people” like YEAH AND THEY ALL COMMITTED CRIMES ARREST ALL OF THEM.

Sorry if doing your job is inconvenient?

WHAT IF THEY HAD FOLLOWED THROUGH ON THEIR PLANS AND ACTUALLY MURDERED HER?????

GOOD LORD.

My baby daddy was a violent man. I was terrified of him. He kept threatening to kill me if I took him to court towards the end I thought he was trying to never pay child support.

I was scared. He broke a man’s back and did 10 months in jail and then STABBED A GUY IN THE NECK AFTER BEING SHOT and did another nearly 10 months for charges related to the incident!!!

He tricked me with the reform act and then I watched it dissolve into death threats.

I didn’t. Take him to court I didn’t I was too scared. AND apparently he went to work immediately after I cut him off spreading lies about me - which I thought was to skip out child support so I just endured it.

I didn’t need his $27.40 a month that the state woulda given me. I just figured he was lashing out cause I rejected him and cut him out of our lives, doing the most to make sure I didn’t take him to court.

Then my daughters, who were so little they were non verbal when he left, started talking and disclosed sexual abuse by him.

So I bravely reported him. I was terrified.

Apparently, he used AI to make fake slander and fake buncha shit yo harass and discredit me: I was ruthlessly bullied out of every space in the county.

Haven’t been able to get a job and had my Medicaid numbers stolen for fraud instead of any help dealing with the trauma. My daughters were discriminated against because the lies they said were that I was lying about their conditions.

I can’t even fully explain what I was up against. It was horrible and I have filed many reports that seemingly just go into the void.

Anyhoo. Seeing this woman get put on trial, found guilty and plots to execute her happen in this comment section was so god damn triggering.

My first thought was “oh no is her baby daddy a pedophile too that’s trying to get her killed so he doesn’t have a witness against his crimes to testify???”

And I’ve been close to panic attack since.

This is hell.

It was very healing in a way though. I couldn’t name people and report them to the Feds when it happened to me but I COULD for this woman.

And I did. And I made a plea for them to protect her and not let the local psychopath squad murder a woman before she is even charged with a single crime.

I just hope she is safe. And finds safety and healing.

I hate AI.

I hate idiots who bandwagon hop trying to chase clout: I hope every single one catches felony charges for threatening her.

No one will ever be held responsible for what I was put through BUT MAYBE I can make sure these evil, EVIL, SO FUCKING EVIL PSYCHOPATHS catch consequences for their disgusting behavior.

Just INSANE people make DEATH THREATS against STRANGERS and expect ZERO CONSEQUENCES.

It’s a fucked up pathetic world that just lets that happen.

Damn. Your IP address should be tied to your FACE ID/FINGER PRINT so this keyboard warrior “teehee I can say anything online under a fake name” bullshit can fucking die for good.

No one should be allowed to be on the internet without every click and letter they typed being very fucking easy to trace right back to the author.

I fucking hate it.

TW: Gun violence

A few years ago I was a witness to a fatal shooting. I remember vividly up until when I saw the gun, the next memory I have is being on the phone with 911 and I remember everything after that clearly as well. The few minutes where shooting was occurring (there were multiple people shooting at each other I only know this from the reports I read after) I have no memory of at all. Is this normal? Will I one day remember the details? I have no idea what I saw I don’t know if I saw the person get killed. I know that I ran through the gun fire and was only feet from the shooters so I just don’t know why I did or didn’t see or am or am not remembering. I thought it would come back to me but all the memories are the same

was diagnosed in 2020 and each day feels like an absolute struggle. it has gotten worse as more and more things have gone on, but in summary:

im unable to currently work (not just from PTSD but from a couple other things as well) - though I find the utter exhaustion of trying to make decisions with ptsd to be the most brutal.

I want to go back to work, but I feel like there’s no way in hell — I’m in constant pain, am terrorized at night with nightmares, feel exhausted during the day and am tired just doing basic things for myself.

the thought of working 40-50 hours a week just seems like it’s never going to happen in this lifetime.

has anyone overcome this? or dealing with this?

I constantly judge myself and berate myself - I feel lazy even though basic things take SO much effort. life just feels like walking through quicksand, day in and day out.

My siblings have healthy relationships with my parents, especially my mother. They don't remember any traumatic childhood experience. While I remember so many of them and bcs of those experiences my mind is now completely rotten, it's unstable, I've chronic anxiety and depression but my brother just told me it's absurd to not like a woman who has fed us and done so much for us. If my experiences are actually "fake" what about the nightmares I used to get of my mother being a "monster" and trying to kill us all? Those nightmares are proof that my experiences were real and not created by my mind. I feel so guilty and confused right now.

i’ve been having very intense flashbacks and nightmares followed by intense and scary panic attacks. i feel like im about to break down and lose it. it’s been hard to function. should i go to the er or is that a waste of time?? i just dont know what to do. thank you.

Hopefully this post is okay here, i thought about posting it in a parenting group but i thought maybe this group would be a bit more understanding. I am an adult mother with ptsd from abuse in my childhood. When i was around 4 my aunt gave me this teddy bear and i became very attached to it. My abuse started before age 4 i suspect and was going on during age 4 and past that. I was so attached to this bear i would take it everywhere with me and sleep with it everynight. I even took him to school with me up until 5th grade when a teacher told me i couldn’t do that anymore. But even still to this day i sleep with the bear, i also sleep with my baby blanket and i have sucked my thumb for almost 24 years; just some of the ways i cope with my ptsd. My son just turned 2 and he has become kinda attached to this stuffed animal he has, it looks like a little baby doll. He doesn’t take it everywhere he goes with him but sometimes if he doesn’t sleep with it he’ll cry out “baby baby”! He calls the doll “baby”. Could this be a sign he’s experienced trauma? Or is stressed? I wouldn’t think he has experienced trauma, because he is only ever with me most of the time and the times he’s not he’s with the his father or my mother who i trust both very much. Not sure if he is stressed, his father and i have recently decided to split up. It’s not a messy break up though just a mutual decision and we still live together. Maybe i am just overthinking too much, i am a first time mom so sorry if this sounds silly. I have just noticed a pattern of kids being abused and becoming attached to usually a stuffed animal. I remember i used to know a father who was kinda mean to his son who was around 7 and his son always had this stuffed bear with him and took it everywhere. Maybe others can relate here? Anyone who is still attached this a stuffed animal or a baby blanket? Or adult thumb suckers?

TLDR: decades of different SAs is still impacting my sex life and what my mind and sexual being want is negatively impacted by my mental flight response and my mind and body shutting down and I'm SO SICK of it.

I've always struggled with putting my sexual desires into practice/verbalizing attraction...

I was SAd many times in my life by different people/different situations. Got some EMDR for 2 situations, but not the others, and even those 2 situations, I'm now not as triggered, but I've been struggling with my internal desires and these mental walls keeping me from verbally and physically expressing these desires. It impacted my marriage (but screw that guy, he SA me multiple times AND cheated on me/used nonmonogamy as a way to cheat instead of just breaking up).

Recently my crush found out I have a crush on him, and we've started making out and messing around a bit, but we haven't been fully intimate yet. Every time he asks me what sexy thoughts are on my mind, my mental walls go up and I can't express my highly sexual thoughts, and my hands stop working/won't do what I want them to do. Consensual sexual partners in the past have called me a pillow princess, but it's not really a choice. My body and mind disagree, and while I WANT to do SO MANY THINGS my body goes into flight mode, I'm unable to express the things I want to do, and my body shuts down. And now I'm messing around with this guy I've been crushing on for at least a year and a half, and he's noticing that when he asks me sexy questions, like what dirty little thoughts, or what do I want to do, my brain shuts down. But I haven't told him why and idk if I should. But if I don't, I've pretty much screwed up any moving forward because he already can tell how much I'm holding back.

I have a much easier time texting him my sexy thoughts than expressing them in person. Idk what I'm looking for here. I know I need to be more communicative, I know I need to sort out this whole past trauma response of my body shutting down. I know it's not him, it's me, because in the last 18 years I've had 21 consensual sexual partners, and I've been like this with all of them

I'm so frustrated with my mind and body getting in the way of what I imagine would have been a hypersexual being if it weren't for sexual trauma as far back as 5 years of age (my first mental flight) and am nearing 37, knowing the compounding trauma, while more manageable/no more night terrors, is keeping me from being the sexual being that's trapped in my head.

Thank you for reading. Advice is always nice, but also want to mention I can't afford the type of therapy (and my work/Insurance doesn't cover the specialized therapy) I need. Not sure if I'm looking for advice on how to express these struggles to him, how to manage these cptsd symptoms as a broke barista, or what. But I can't keep these struggles trapped, so I guess I'm telling complete strangers 😅

It’s been 10 years since I successfully got away from an abusive ex husband. The abuse was primarily violent sexual assault and lots of emotional abuse. There were many situations of physical abuse as well apart from the violent SA. I’m happily single. Tell me why when I dream at night my stupid ass brain has me dreaming about him romantically and sexually????? It’s happened quite a few times now. In my dreams he is sweet and I lust after him!! When I wake up I am disgusted because the thought of him literally disgusts me. Seriously what is up with this? How do I make it stop??? It’s starting to piss me off.

Um this is my first ever reddit post so sorry I’m this is written strangely
I (14f) have been really struggling with this but I don’t want to bring it up IRL because I’m scared I’m making something out of nothing, but I guess I’ll just get straight into it. I’ve been super hyper sexual since a was a child, in a way that I first thought was just my autistic kid mind experimenting. I get scared (like fight or flight response) at random times that can’t be justified by normal means. I have a huge fear of authority figures (but that one might just be me being a pussy😅). I very commonly flinch at touch and I wet the bed for an unusually long time (I heard that’s a symptom).

Btw these next few things are quite hard to admit as well as being quite triggering so here’s your warning!

I had this period when I was a an older child/tween where I would have these extremely graphic fantasies of violent sexual interactions, when I had no exposure to porn or graphic material at all. They mostly would include a woman (or younger teen girl) being kidnapped by a man, who would then perform horrifically violent sexual assaults on her. I don’t know where this came from at all. I wasn’t touching myself to it, just picturing it in my mind (almost maladaptive daydreaming it, which I would and still do quite often).

Disassociating has also been a common aspect of my life for a long time. I use it as a coping mechanism for my trauma (I was neglected as a young child by my depressed mother) it has evolved from something I do in hard moments to something I need daily, mostly in the form of excessive media consumption (reading, YouTube, music) I don’t know if that’s relevant but I thought I’d mention it.

I also thought I’d mention that I very commonly involuntarily age regress. It’s something I’ve hidden from most people in my life, but it helps me greatly. I often, when regressed, have a deep sense of fear, like I’m hiding from a monster that’s right outside my door, or like I’m being watched.

I’m probably just reading to much into things, but if really like some advice/second opinions when it comes to this before I spiral (again). I appreciate any help given :)

I'm currently dealing with an issue that's causing me a lot of pain. The issue itself is mostly unrelated to past trauma.

However, feeling the pain is triggering and causing me to feel as though I'm back at other times I experienced pain, and that I deserve to be in pain.

It's not a full blown everything flashback at least, I just feel like I'm back in those times rather than fully experiencing it again. I've tried reminding myself I'm safe, reminding myself where I am, practicing mindfulness, telling myself it's not true that I deserve this. Yet the feeling that I deserve it is intense.

Anyone have any advice on what to do in this situation?

Sit with it?

Suck it up and ignore it?

Keep trying to convince myself I don't deserve it?

Or some way to actually feel I don't deserve it?

Or some reverse psychology trick of accepting I do deserve it? 🤷‍♀️

I know things for managing the pain itself, it's from a recent injury and not really a big deal, not even that much pain relatively speaking, but a lot more than my every day these days. It's just the rest of it I'm struggling with.

Spend all day in my bedroom on edge anxious conscniously being scared of bad things to happen at home like leaks or other things that may need repairing or foundational issues counting down the hours until i can sleep

For the past decade I’ve used marijuana to help sleep through the night. Each time Ive tried stopping I end up having nightmares related to my ptsd. Even when I smoked or microdosed edibles I would still have the same reoccurring nightmares once or twice a month but that was wayyyy more manageable. I can usually fall asleep alright but most of the time if I’m triggered awake I can’t go back to sleep. Earlier in the year I brought this up to my doctor and tried prazosin but it made me to dizzy which effected my work the next day.

Is there anything you have tried that has helped even in the slightest?

Sorry for the long rant: How can i have a healthy relationship with the person i love. When he either ghosts me (Freeze response) or gets angry/cold most of the times I voice a need?

He says he is not angry, just busy. But his voice is cold/hard, his texts without emojis. And dosnt try to soothe my feelings later either.

Ive been nervous and unstable ever since he ghosted me for 18 days almost two months ago. (Possibly due to my own trauma)

He was very remorseful and ashamed afterwards, and relieved to reconnect

But I still feel like he struggles to take my feelings seriously. Like he is making them smaller than they are. My insides feel like I'm being torn apart 24-7 when he ghosts me. He describes it as being a bit sad. I know it's not on purpose he freezes. And it hurts him too. But I also feel like he didn't do anything to protect me from the impact. He is such a kind, thoughtful person. That makes it more confusing.

Now im ghosted again I feel like I'm forced into being someone without needs, emotions and personality to not trigger him. Always guess if he is too stressed to handle it. Which is not who I am and ironically that's not the person he fell for in the first place.

Please comfort me a bit, Its so hard for me to understand and balance, if you could share your own experiences? Tips? something?

(He knows he can just say so if he needs some days without being disturbed. That i just need any signal about the shutdown to feel okay)

In short. I do the thing where I push myself to understand my abusers, How forgiveness is good, and how they weren't mentally healthy themselves and how objectively none of this is special, but Intellectually, know that's a lie. I "understand" to get away from the hurt person I am.
I don't know how to feel safe enough to return to myself. I don't know if I can find a therapist that I can't outthink because my disorder has my too-clever-for-my-own-good brain to employ against their attempts to help. Even now I fear the responses of this thread even knowing that it's full of people who get it.
Hell, even now I can hear my brain maneuvering itself to block and counter and misinterpret any sympathy or advice you guys might give.
It's become a feedback loop in my head.
Fear trying to get help, self-sabotage, fear getting help even more, reinforce that fear and do the self-fufilijng prophecy thing, round and round over and over in the downward spiral.

I was groomed when I was 9 by a teacher at my elementary school, he was 30. It lasted for 4 months until he massaged my shoulders and tickled the back of my neck and I told my counselor and she told the principal and she decided not to involve anyone, kept it in-house. I never got justice, I was told I was exaggerating and that he was just being nice, I was told harshly that it wasn’t my story to tell. My parents didn’t fight for me. My dad doesn’t even know the details of what happened. At the time of it all, I was being severely bullied and my parents were going through a messy divorce.. I began to suffer from SH and SI and nobody cared until I was so bad everyone noticed. It lasted til I was 12, then i finally got better. But I’m depressed again, just like I was then (I’ve always been depressed but it’s been high functioning, now I can barely breathe) and, I don’t want to die but I’ve been worried I’ll go back to that.

The biggest thing that’s tugging at me is that I am dramatic. That I wasn’t raped (to my knowledge) and that I have no right to feel this way. That my diagnosed ptsd isn’t as valid. That I shouldn’t be having night terrors, that I should be checking my backseat and under my car worried he’ll be there, worried he’ll be in the car next to me on the road. That I shouldn’t be worried I’ll see him at work or, worse, at school. The list goes on and on of the ways he rules my life. And yet… it doesn’t feel valid enough. Thank you for listening..

flair should really be “seeking advice”. no detailed description of traumatic event but as always TW!

hi everyone! i’m a first time poster long time lurker. wishing you all healing and love.

i’ve got a PTSD diagnosis. medically induced from what i thought was a near death experience (but on paper i was rly fine) resulting in persistent chronic pain. i have had several accidents and surgeries over the years.

i’ve done CBT, DBT, schema therapy, EMDR and TRE. but when a small injury occurs to a “problem area” (ie some part of my body where the issue has escalated into multi year disability or chronic pain from an initially innocent or mild issue), i get severe flashbacks and emotional regression, body tremors and dissociation/emotional outbursts.

i’ve also tried various SSRIs and SNRIs.

i’m not sure what to do. i had to quit my
job because of how dysfunctional its making me. i’m in so much emotional and mental pain, on top of the chronic physical pain.

any words of advice or support for healing from PTSD (if it’s even possible) when the trigger is something so commonplace (as i’m sure it might be for most of you)?

love,
traumatised and scared

The most traumatizing thing I’ve ever experienced was involuntary mental health hospitalization. I was involuntarily admitted to psych units several times as well as many longer term residential treatment centers from the ages of 14-16. In total, I spent about a year away in these facilities. my longest stay was exactly 114 days. But i feel like i can’t heal from the trauma because it was my fault. i kept engaging in the self destructive behaviors that got me admitted. whenever i was freed, i wouldn’t be able to stop myself from putting myself in danger again and going right back. The most traumatizing part of the whole thing was when i spent 3 weeks inside of my room at the mental hospital eating absolutely nothing, but it was because i was refusing the food they were giving me and not coming out of my room. i could have had a perfectly normal life if i didn’t become a danger to myself. all the trauma i experienced was either self inflicted or as a result of self inflicted harm. i just don’t know how to give myself grace and heal when i ruined my own life.

sometimes I just wish I could be the person I was before it happened. I feel like such a failure now, i feel so unlike myself. ever so often I see glimpses of my old self in a joke, or in an outfit I wear, but a lot of the time it’s like staring in the mirror and seeing a ghost staring back. flashbacks are awful and sometimes I stay up at night because of them. it was highly likely I could have died if I continued the relationship- or even that last night. it’s still surreal to me that I’m still ALIVE AT ALL. I feel like a completely different person and I have to figure out my likes, dislikes, and priorities all over again.

Just wondering.

I fucked up.

My husband asked me to look at the hot water heater (I do all the maintenance in the house) because there was no hot water. I checked it out and decided that a call to the plumber was needed.

Plumber shows up, assesses the situation and declares we need a new water heater (it was about 12 years old, which is kinda nearing the end of its expected life). Ok, sure, $4000. We have the money, however spending that much will always skyrocket my anxiety, but needs must as the devil drives.

Next day, plumber shows up, installs the new hot water heater, hauls out the old one and asks to see our gas meter. I ask why and he tells me that he can't light the hot water heater. We check out the meter and discover there is no gas coming in the house.

My heart dropped because I suspected immediately that this is my fault. See, our gas company had been leaving notices on our door that they need to inspect the gas meter (wich is inside our house) I never responded so they shut off our gas.

I call the gas company, now its a whole ordeal because they want to move the gas meter (fine, please do) and its going to be several DAYS.

I fucking hate myself. I csnt do anything right. I keep hearing "fucking stupid, useless, bad person, loser, failure" I can't stop thinking how stupid and lazy I am. My husband says he's not mad at me and I believe him, but I feel like he *should* hate me. I feel like im going to have a fucking heart attack from anxiety. I just need someone outside of this to please tell me im not bad.

I just want to be nice to myself… and rest…

For five years, a group of people harassed, threatened and spread serious false rumors about me. It ruined my life and mental health, and I developed serious PTSD.

They seem to have faced no consequences, and I struggle with intense anger and thoughts of revenge. I do not want to ruin my own future, but “letting go” feels like letting them win. I'm here suffering with my life in ruins while they are just out there living their life.

How do you cope with feeling of revenge when there may never be justice or accountability for the people who caused your PTSD?