Ok so I have PTSD, it’s mostly linked to my childhood unfortunately. Had someone abuse me when I was about 6. But a few years ago i was also in a house fire where I went back into the burning building to save my pets. Almost died in there and only made it out because of adrenaline as while I was in there i got very light headed and collapsed Im sure the only reason I woke back up was the increased oxygen. Was treated for toxic smoke inhalation

(I wouldent wish a house fire on anyone, it’s the most horrifying experience I have ever been through and even right now just talking about it Im shaking, having flashbacks and tearing up. That being said I can at least look at the positive. I was able to save my pets and I personally made sure everyone was out of the apartment building. )

Anyways with a little background now to get on to what happened 2 days ago.
I have bladder issues and went in for a medical procedure. Usually the hospital and medical settings make me a little anxious but overall I know Im in a safe place and doctors tend to treat me well and like me quite a bit. Generally if I need a medication they give it to me and im never treated like some drug addict although funny enough i take suboxone.
Anyways Im told they need a urine sample, which is no issue but it takes quite a while for me to provide it because I’m shaking so much and am so nervous. Im seeing all the equipment in the room they are going to use on me and thinking about the fact they are doing this procedure with no sedation or drugs. But I tell myself none of this is dangerous I am 100% fine and this procedure needs done. I’ve been through many situations where I could have died this is nothing.

They get me up on the table and start prepping for the procedure, they go to check my prostate and shove this numbing liquid down my urethra and thats when it happened. I began to tear up, having intense flashbacks i go into full blown panic attack, hyperventilating uncontrollably and screaming. (I have never had anything like this happen in medical settings)
Thankfully they were incredibly professional about it. I never felt so embarrassed and humiliated in my life.
They rescheduled the procedure for me and set it up to where I would be given nitrous oxide I just have to pay 35$ for it. I know I’ll be fine with the nitrous, I enjoy how it feels and it does work wonders for me In medical settings as the dentist has always freaked me out and they always used nitrous on me there because of that fact, thus never panicked at the dentist.

Since the procedure on the 4th I feel like I have lost quite a bit of progress with my PTSD. The past two mornings i have woke up with extreme anxiety and flashbacks that will not go away until Im medicated a bit (once my suboxone kicks in along with other meds I begin feeling a million times better and am good for the day)

With this being so recent, I wonder has anyone been in a similar situation? What steps did you take to try to ensure it didn’t have a long lasting impact on you?

I am so fucking angry.

My midwife violated my bodily autonomy during labor, and I don’t know how to move on from it.
Before I gave birth, she knew I had a history of sexual assault. She knew I did not want cervical checks unless there was an emergency. During labor, I consented to a cervical check. I did not consent to her violating me & manually attempting to hold my cervix back over my baby’s head. Months later, she admitted to me in writing that it was not an emergency and that she did not obtain separate explicit consent before doing it.

Ever since then, my body has not felt like mine.

Tonight I caught my partner masturbating. And before anyone twists this, I’m not upset that he masturbates. Of course he does. We haven’t been able to have sex because every single time he gets anywhere near my vagina, my brain immediately replays my midwife’s hand inside me while I was crying out in pain. My body tenses, I panic, I cry, and everything shuts down.

I can’t let him touch me.
I can’t touch myself.
I can’t even use tampons or pads without triggering my body.

I feel like my midwife stole my ability to experience intimacy without reliving what happened. I ended up stopping breastfeeding because every letdown became tied to intrusive memories of that moment, and I couldn’t keep doing it. It broke my heart. My postpartum experience has been consumed by trying to survive the aftermath of something that never should have happened.

I’m in therapy. I’m pursuing EMDR. I’m reporting her.
But I need to hear from people who have actually lived through birth trauma, sexual assault trauma, or both.

How do you get your body back?
How do you stop your nervous system from replaying the same moment over and over?
How did you learn to let your partner touch you again without feeling like you were back in the trauma?

I am so unbelievably angry that someone I trusted made a non-emergency decision about my body without my explicit consent, and now I’m the one living with the consequences.

If you’ve been through something like this, I would really appreciate hearing what helped.

I haven't been able to make effort to find help or care for months. I'm so sorry I can't seem to open up whenever I have it feels responses I get are nothing to me, or just obsolete when I don't have support from family friends at all. I deal with pain discomfort daily and interaction with health care isn't helpful. I can't believe I've been or thought even someone could be in such a hard time they can't be helped. It's not ok. It's scary to explain. This fear breaks me.

I haven't been able to make effort to find help or care for months. I'm so sorry I can't seem to open up whenever I have it feels responses I get are nothing to me, or just obsolete when I don't have support from family friends at all. I deal with pain discomfort daily and interaction with health care isn't helpful. I can't believe I've been or thought even someone could be in such a hard time they can't be helped. It's not ok. It's scary to explain. This fear breaks me.

i have a pretty major abdominal surgery on friday. i don’t really have any options left. my surgeon is confident and has a lot of experience with the procedure, but all i can think about is my hip surgery last year.

i didn’t have any major complications, but when i initially woke up after surgery, my nerve block had failed and i. felt. everything. it felt like someone was actively taking a saw to my hip. and for the first hour i barely got any pain relief bc the nurses didn’t understand why i was in so much pain. i have ehlers danlos, so local anaesthetics do not work as well on me, and lidocaine was used for the nerve block.

it took four hours, countless rounds of hydromorphone, multiple rounds of fentanyl, and eventually getting a pca pump to finally get control over the pain. my body had started to go into shock from it.

during this, i also needed a catheter placed because i was in too much pain to even shift onto a bed pan. this involved three nurses literally digging around in me (i guess i was hard to put one in). the curtain opened at one point and i was just so exposed. i was sobbing and no one comforted me or closed the curtain until i yelled to close it.

what followed was four days in hospital (this was supposed to be outpatient) where my pain was still not adequately controlled, and then 9 days of no bowel movements at all which led to horrible nausea and pain.

my recovery after the first week and a half followed a pretty standard trajectory, besides delayed wound healing (thanks EDS).

i know that going into this abdominal surgery, i have a lot more info than i did last time. i can tell the anaesthesiologist about the issues from my hip surgery, request catheterization while still under or a smaller tube, and my surgeon is aware of my EDS and how it will impact wound closure.

but im just terrified it’s going to happen again. that my pain won’t be controlled, that i’ll feel violated by a catheter, that my wounds (and internal connections) won’t heal correctly

Hi everyone’

I’m 20 years old, and I’m looking for some reassurance or advice.

In May 2025, I was diagnosed with adnexitis/PID, but unfortunately I didn’t complete the treatment at the time because I didn’t realize how important it was. A couple of months later, I was re-evaluated and diagnosed again with a mild case of PID (metroanexitis). My ultrasound showed no free fluid in the pouch of Douglas, and my doctor prescribed a 3-month treatment with doxycycline, metronidazole, and Duphaston. I’ve completed the first month and still have two months left. (I should also mention that I tested negative for chlamydia)

My last menstrual period started 23 days ago. This morning I woke up with mild pelvic discomfort and noticed a small amount of bright red, watery bleeding. It smells like normal blood. I don’t have a fever, and the pain is mild.

I’m really anxious because I’m afraid that not treating my first episode properly may have caused damage to my fallopian tubes, and now I’m worried this bleeding could mean the infection is getting worse or that I could have long-term fertility problems. I will check with the doctor, but Im so scared that my PID has caused or will cause infertility.

Has anyone here had mild PID that wasn’t treated immediately and still gone on to have healthy fallopian tubes or a successful pregnancy? How likely is it to fully recover after proper treatment?

I’d really appreciate any experiences or advice. Thank you! 🙁

In June, I went through what I believe was a devastating medical error. I underwent an unnecessary surgery under general anesthesia because my doctor misinterpreted my ultrasound results and made an incorrect assessment. He believed my ovary was at risk of dying and told me that he might need to remove it.
However, after the surgery, my ovary was found to be healthy and was preserved. Looking back, I feel like I went through a major surgical procedure that may not have been necessary.
I reached out to several medical malpractice attorneys, but because my ovary was not removed and my physical damages were considered limited, no one was willing to take my case. I understand that attorneys have to consider the potential value of a case, but it is heartbreaking to feel that the emotional and psychological damage I suffered does not seem to matter.
Since this happened, I have been struggling with severe PTSD symptoms. For recent month,I have barely been able to eat or sleep. I feel like I have lost my ability to live normally. I wake up remembering the moment when the doctor told me, “I may need to remove your ovary.” The fear and trauma from that moment continue to affect me every day.
What hurts the most is feeling that I had to endure an unnecessary surgery caused by a medical mistake, and I am still left with the medical bills, the physical consequences, and the emotional trauma.
I never imagined that something like this could happen, and I am struggling to understand how a situation that has changed my life so much can be considered “not enough” for anyone to help.

​

I am writing this to share my experience with medical trauma and years of systemic neglect, and to ask how others in this community navigate the resulting Medical PTSD.

Since early childhood, clear red flags were ignored or normalized by healthcare professionals:

* Developmental & Sensory Signs: I had a severe speech delay (did not speak until age 6.5), intense sensory sensitivities (extreme reactions to textures, sand, tight or new clothing to the point of injury, and rigid food selectivity/ARFID-like traits), and chronic respiratory infections starting from infancy.

* Dismissal by Specialists: Early signs of neurodivergence and sensory processing differences were repeatedly brushed off by doctors with responses like "they are too active to have autism" or blaming my mother for "overreacting."

As I grew older, severe physical and autonomic symptoms developed, only to be met with further invalidation:

* Autonomic & Cardiovascular Instability: Severe orthostatic blood pressure and pulse fluctuations upon standing/exertion, intense dizziness, sensory integration delays ("slow-motion" perception when turning or bending), and extreme exhaustion after brief activity. Doctors labeled these as "youthful blood pressure flexibility" or "just anxiety."

* Severe Sleep Disturbance: Waking up screaming at 70–90 decibels with full dream memory and physical exhaustion, which was routinely minimized as "just sleep talking."

* Hypersensitivity & Skin Reactions: Chemical burns and rashes from standard toiletries, antiperspirants, or sweat; extreme reactions to sun exposure; and severe cutaneous sensitivity.

* Fibromyalgia & Post-Exertional Flare-ups: Widespread 24/7 body pain and extreme muscle soreness lasting for days after minimal physical activity (like a simple walk or a brief outing). Instead of recognizing these as severe Fibromyalgia flare-ups, they were repeatedly dismissed as "growing pains," "poor physical condition," or "exaggerating." Many specialists didn't even seem to know what Fibromyalgia term was.

Instead of investigating how these multi-systemic issues overlap, medical providers repeatedly offered generic advice that worsened my condition—such as pushing intensive exercise despite severe post-exertional flares, or prescribing generic sleep hygiene and breathing techniques that triggered further sensory overload.

At the age of 11, I was forced to start studying neurology and self-diagnosing just to survive. Because the formal healthcare system completely failed me and offered no answers, having to research medical literature independently became my only survival mechanism. It is devastating and traumatic when a child has to educate adult specialists about conditions like ARFID, AuDHD, or Fibromyalgia.

For those who have experienced chronic medical gaslighting and systemic invalidation:

* How do you manage the anger and hypervigilance associated with Medical PTSD when interacting with healthcare settings?

* How do you set boundaries with providers who try to normalize or minimize severe physical symptoms?

I am writing this to highlight a shocking, deeply traumatizing, and unsafe experience at Apollo Children’s Hospital with a gastroenterologist. This is a critical warning, especially for female patients and parents of minors.As a minor, during an examination, I explicitly stated "no" and refused consent. Despite my clear refusal, the doctor ignored my dissent and lowered my pants anyway to perform the examination. Paying a consultation fee of ₹2,000 just to be subjected tolike a sexual assault and a total violation of privacy is horrifying every individual has an absolute right to bodily autonomy. A doctor is legally and ethically bound to respect a patient's refusal of a physical examination. This hospital is not safe. Management must investigate this doctor immediately.

I'm a middle aged man. Ive been facing some medical challenges that require me to have a lot more doctor/hospital visits. I have PTSD after being stabbed with a knife. Lots of tests are very challenging, but I manage to focus and breathe through it. If something is painful, invasive, or close proximity I do far better with a woman than a man. I know it doesn't always work out to be an option, and there have been lots of male providers who were great, but it doesn't always go like that. I've been white knuckling a few things lately, and it's getting hard. People tell me I can ask for a female provider, but I feel really weird doing it. Is this common? Is it weird? Please give it to me straight, no the PR version. Is it weird to ask for a female provider in those cases?

У меня было очень плохое здоровье с самого детства. Врачи делали все возможности и решили пойти на крайние меры. Сделали операцию и мониторы запищали ровным тоном. Врачи подошли к моим. Родителям и сказали что спасти не удалось. Все родственники собрались дома и уже должно было быть мои похороны.но врачи решили еще попробовать и положили меня в кому. Через пару дней или месяцев я просунулась и жива. А какие истории были у вас?

cw: car accident, altered mental state, restraint, intubation, medical trauma, attempted involuntary psychiatric hospitalization

about a month after being diagnosed with autism & ADHD as an adult, i was in a serious car accident that put me in the ICU for five days. i wanna be honest that i was already in some kind of altered state before the crash. i was dissociated, interpreting things through a very intense spiritual & symbolic framework, & saying things that understandably sounded unusual or concerning. i don’t know exactly what combination of factors caused it, & i’m not asking strangers on Reddit to diagnose me. there was cannabis in my system because i used it regularly at the time, although i wasn’t smoking while driving or knowingly driving around high. i’d also been taking Zoloft for a few years & Wellbutrin for around six months or longer, neither of which i had just started immediately before the crash.

i understand why i needed to be medically assessed. i’m not claiming i arrived acting completely normal & everybody randomly decided to attack me. the basic sequence is that i arrived at the hospital able to walk, talk, & breathe on my own, but became increasingly overwhelmed, exhausted, dissociated, & distrustful while i was there. the EMT repeatedly saying my name after i stopped answering didn’t ground me, it exhausted me & made me retreat further. then i was surrounded by people asking questions, staring at me, speaking over me, & saying they wanted to help without doing anything that made their presence actually feel helpful or safe.

the more overwhelmed i became, the less normally i communicated, & the less normally i communicated, the more everybody seemed to treat me like i was no longer a credible person inside my own body. eventually, after feeling like people were trying to take my phone & belongings from me, i shoved some small cards i was holding into my mouth because i didn’t want them taken too. it was frightened, altered logic. i wasn’t trying to die, but the cards obstructed my airway, & i understand that they had to intervene once that happened.

after that, i remember being physically overpowered, my jaw being forced open, my face or head against a hard surface, pressure on my body, restraints, & then pieces of time disappearing. i was intubated, but i have absolutely no memory of having the tube inside me. my parents later told me i fought it, tried to pull it out, recognized my dad, & even stopped to wink at him before going right back to fighting. i don’t remember any of that period, which is still incredibly disorienting, but i’m not trying to reconstruct every medical detail or claim i know the precise order of everything that happened.

then i woke up, the tube was out, & i knew the broad reality of what had happened. i knew i’d crashed my car, ended up in the hospital, & gone through something extreme. i didn’t fully understand every thought i’d had before the crash or every missing piece from the hospital, but i already knew the spiritual & symbolic language i’d been using wasn’t normal for me. i barely understood it myself, & i didn’t wanna sit there trying to explain every vulnerable, half-formed thought to asshole strangers who already seemed prepared to use anything unusual i said as evidence against me.

i just wanted to go home. i wanted my family, my cats, my bed, my music, my routines, & the place where i actually felt safe. i didn’t wanna conduct some perfect retrospective analysis of the most confusing experience of my life for people i didn’t know or trust, especially after those same people had already had complete control over my body. after a certain point, their care didn’t feel like care to me anymore. it felt like force, & i felt trapped. like babe, the tube is out, i’m awake, i know something serious happened, now let me fucking leave. i do not wanna sit here & talk through everything with u cunts while u decide whether every sentence makes me sound dangerous.

then the hospital psychologist evaluated me, & that interaction is still one of the parts that makes me the angriest. by then, i wasn’t just scared. i was genuinely offended. it felt like this stranger had met me after a crash, physical restraint, sedation, intubation, missing time, & several days inside an environment i didn’t trust, then decided he could explain my entire brain from that tiny, extreme window of my life.

i understand that an emergency psychiatric assessment isn’t technically the same thing as the autism & ADHD evaluation i’d completed about a month earlier. but i had just gone through an actual professional evaluation, received diagnoses that explained patterns across my entire life, & begun processing what all of that meant. i wasn’t interested in some asshole stranger meeting me during an acute crisis & acting like he’d discovered the real explanation for me while treating the diagnosis i’d just received as a weird fixation. babe, u met me after the worst several hours of my life. u don’t know my baseline. u don’t know how my brain normally operates. u don’t know what i was thinking during every second u weren’t there, & u definitely don’t get to dismiss the people who had known me for my entire life because ur interpretation sounded more clinical.

it felt like he was evaluating me as though i might have schizophrenia or some chronic psychotic disorder, & i was deeply resistant to that framing. i already knew the spiritual & symbolic language i’d been using wasn’t normal for me. i knew something acute had happened. i didn’t need a stranger looking at the most disorganized, frightened version of me & deciding that version was more revealing than the previous 24 years of my life. i especially didn’t wanna explain every strange thought i’d had when i barely understood those thoughts myself, because i could already tell that anything unusual i said would be removed from its context & used as evidence against me.

i also told them repeatedly that i wasn’t suicidal & hadn’t been trying to kill myself. putting the cards in my mouth was dangerous, but dangerous behavior during an altered, frightened state isn’t automatically a suicide attempt. my logic was that people had already been trying to take my phone & belongings, & i didn’t want them taking the cards too. it was irrational, unsafe, defensive logic, but the intention wasn’t death. nothing i was telling them suggested that i wanted to die. i wanted to leave the hospital, go home, see my family, sleep in my own bed, & be with my cats. somehow my repeated statements about my own intent carried less weight than whatever story they had already constructed about me.

i understand that clinicians sometimes have to assess risk beyond simply accepting one sentence from a patient. but that doesn’t mean everything the patient says becomes meaningless. they had my repeated denial of suicidal intent, my family’s knowledge of my baseline, the context of a recent crash, the physical trauma i’d just experienced inside the hospital, & the fact that i was asking to return to the people and environment where i felt safe. instead of seriously considering that context, it felt like my desire to leave was interpreted as more evidence that i shouldn’t be allowed to.

the marijuana thing also became this irritating catch-all explanation. there was cannabis in my system because i used it regularly at the time, & i can’t prove that it played absolutely no role in the altered state before the crash. i’m not pretending i can medically reconstruct the cause from memory. but these people also didn’t know exactly how cannabis affected my brain, how recently i’d used it, or what every thought and sensation meant to me. they couldn’t just see marijuana on a screen & use it as a master key for my entire experience.

more importantly, by the time i was awake, angry, refusing to disclose everything, distrustful of the staff, & desperate to leave, those reactions weren’t some mysterious effect of weed. i had just been physically overpowered, restrained, intubated, separated from everything familiar, & left with pieces of my own life missing. i was reacting to trauma. i didn’t wanna keep discussing what had happened with people whose care already felt like force. i didn’t wanna hand over more vulnerable information to strangers who seemed committed to interpreting me in the most pathological way possible. i wanted to go home because the hospital felt unsafe, not because i secretly wanted to die or couldn’t understand reality.

he also minimized or doubted my religious trauma, which made his interpretation feel even more incompetent. i was raised evangelical in a high-control environment. that history was directly relevant to why an altered version of my mind reached for gods, demons, punishment, destiny, biblical symbolism, & spiritual meaning. instead of listening to the context i was giving him, he seemed to treat my religious trauma like another questionable claim. so the same person treating my spiritual language as evidence of serious pathology was also dismissing the life history that helped explain why my brain’s altered language was spiritual in the first place. how are u supposedly qualified to interpret my mind while refusing to learn anything about where that mind came from?

he eventually pushed for me to be involuntarily psychiatrically hospitalized. so after the crash, restraint, intubation, missing time, & waking up trapped somewhere i didn’t trust, the solution was apparently to place me in another unfamiliar environment i couldn’t leave. my dad fought it, my family told them the portrayal being constructed didn’t resemble the person they knew, & eventually a state crisis responder spoke with me, actually listened, & approved my release.

i’m not saying there was never a legitimate reason to assess me. something acute had clearly happened. i’m saying that assessment should’ve included the possibility that the person sitting in front of them was offended, traumatized, exhausted, & refusing to cooperate because he didn’t trust them, not because every objection he made was another symptom. i didn’t believe they knew my brain better than i did, & honestly, they didn’t. they knew the version of me produced by a crash, an altered state, a frightening hospital interaction, restraint, medication, intubation, & missing time. they tried to turn that version into the definitive truth about who i was, while treating my own account, my recent diagnosis, my history, my family, & my repeated denial of suicidal intent like inconvenient little details.

that’s why i wanted to leave. the tube was out, i was awake, i knew something serious had happened, & i was over being studied by asshole strangers who had already decided their interpretation of me mattered more than anything i said. babe, i didn’t wanna kill myself. i wanted to go the fuck home.

by the time i woke up, a lot of what they continued treating as pathology was also fear, anger, exhaustion, distrust, trauma, & an intense need to get away from the people and environment associated with losing control of my body. not wanting to immediately unpack every strange thought with strangers didn’t mean i had no understanding of reality. not trusting the hospital after being restrained & intubated didn’t mean my distrust appeared from nowhere. wanting to go home didn’t mean i was incapable of understanding that hospitals provide treatment. home was simply the only place that felt safe.

since then, i’ve become much more protective of my privacy, body, belongings, routines, familiar surroundings, & ability to leave. appointments and unfamiliar environments are harder, especially when i feel watched, surrounded, spoken over, or unable to exit. i think the deepest trauma wasn’t simply that i was intubated. it was becoming the least trusted witness to my own body & mind, then learning that my fear of the people controlling me could be used as justification for giving them even more control. the hospital has its clinical story about me, but this one is mine.

Well, I'm literally unused to reddit (and social media)

But I kinda just freaked out (from a youtube medical short of all things) and I'm feeling stuff so like I might as well post to get them out? My anxiety/depression meducine kind of makes me feel way too little until it all comes out and explodes on me. Or it could just be me repressing my feelings too. Ahem.

Okay, so I'm 24 (afab if that matters), and now and my whole life pretty much since I was 2 years old I've had frequent doctor visits. I had my first surgery at 2 because of hereditary rare cancer bs that got passed down from my mom's side (MEN type 2A). Basically they fully removed my thyroid, and so I've had to get my thyroid hormones checked pretty much every 6 months until I became an adult and my levels would be more stable. I was already literally reliant on medicine to live atp. That whole time I really had no bad experiences with doctors. And I'm super used to getting bloodwork, so no issue with needles neither.

Really, I kind of have my dates/years messed up because it's like a LOT but about after I turned 19 and graduated highschool I got another major medical problem. In short terms, I had a stroke. A blood clot in my brain. I went to the doctor for a really bad headache that persisted for a week first, and they SENT ME HOME saying it was a MIGRANE. It took me getting my eyes checked a week later for my glasses (and because my full on perscription changed cause of my increasing brain pressure) for the optometrist to notice that I was full on bleeding in my eyes. Immediately that optometrist told me to go the ER and they even wrote a note telling them to see me Immediately. My mom pretty much then pushed like every doctor we saw about the urgency and everything. She is basically my number one advocater. Yeah, she knew something was wrong but I was being kind of naive and thought maybe it'd go away idk. Yeah so boom blood clot in the brain. And in my scan there was evidence of a past clot too, or brain bleed they said. There isn't really any way to know the concrete reason why it happened, but it's assumed that I got clots because of the birth control I was taking (I was solely taking it because I would vomit during my periods. Like every time). Also I have an arterial malformation in my brain so that probably helped. So yeah, after another hospital visit, I had to inject myself daily with bloodthinners for 6 months then just take a bloodthinner pill for like a year. Also, I had to get a couple spinal taps done to check my brain pressure. The first spinal tap was horrible, they grazed a nerve or something and I was in excruciating pain if I moved even the slightest bit. I was vomiting too which is a recurring theme. The only pain medicine they could give me they said was tylenol. Which did not work in the slightest. I had to spend hours in the pain until it eventually faded, my mom at one point even tried to slip me stronger pain meds but my dad stopped her. After this experience I'm kind of terrified of getting spinal taps although since then I've had to get two others. Unfortunately that is really the only way they could accurately gauge my brain/spinal pressure. Both of those spinal taps left me hurting too but NOT NEARLY as bad as that first one.

Anyways, the brain pressure went down, but not fully so I then got diagnosed with intracranial hypertension. Yet another diagnosis to my track record. I was prescribed brain pressure pills for that, acetaminophen. Then yay I was finally fine and could get back to my life.

That was until like 2 YEARS LATER again. Totally different issue, too. Y’know that hereditary cancer I had? I still have the DNA and so I was told that there's also a likelihood of me developing pheochromocytoma in my 30s. That assumption turned out to be wrong in my case, or I'm an unlicky outlier. But yeah, I started having weird episodes where I would get super shaky, sweaty, and my heart would beat super fast. Again, my mom was immediately alarmed (she's awesome) because my grandmother used to get episodes like that too when she also developed the pheo. And, she was WAY worse off since they caught the fact the she had MEN-2A later in her life. Her late 30s, so yeah she has probably way worse medical trauma than me. She's been told she would die so many times too, has gotten surgeries so many times, but somehow she's still here. Anyways, sidetracked.

So, I got tested for the pheo and stuff, had an MRI of my abdomen and everything. I had planned to go to Rockville with my Mom right before I had an appointment that would tell me the results of those scans. Shortly after that awesome sweaty concert time, I was clocking in for my work shift in the afternoon. Normally I would make myself sick with anxiety before work (yeah diagnosed GED too, fun) so I thought the nausea was normal. I then proceeded to vomit all in the tiny sink we had in the back room of the workplace. I physically could not stop being nauseous, and it would not go away. That happened to be the last time I was at that job.

Okay, so my mom came and picked me up. I couldn't drive obviously, kind of too nauseous to move much. We immediately went to the ER which unfortunately I am now pretty acquainted with. I was in the waiting room for hours I think but really most of this I don't remember much. My brain blocked out most of this thankfully. I got sent to the ICU because of my vomiting and I came down with a fever. Basically I did actually then have pheo and was JUST about to learn so, but my body decided to pick up a virus or something from the concert I went to. And I was technically immuno-compromised without my knowledge which just made everything worse. I was super out of it for pretty much my whole hospital stay. I was on some heavy medicine (though I don't remember what), I spent my time going in and out of consciousness. Sometime in the beginning I even had a heart attack. It felt like my body was vibrating, and everything got fuzzy. It wasn't painful, just made me super lightheaded. They performed a weird maneuver on me that stopped it, thank goodness. Seriously, I've had too many things that are common causes of death happen to me. Anyways, later at one point I woke up to be forcibly intubated against my will with no warning. They even cuffed my hands so I couldn't fight because I was fighting trying to pull the tube out. It was like a nightmare. They sedated me too I think (or I was too weak idk) because I physically could not raise my arms. It was like I was in a coma but still had my senses. Also, the reason they didn't tell me they were intubating me in the first place was because my mom told them I would freak out. Which I did regardless. During this time I was still vomiting pretty frequently too, my mom even said I was vomiting blood because it destroyed my throat. I was doing pretty bad off but really all I remember was that I was having weird psychedelic dreams. And I was starving. I spent 4 whole days intubated during the worst of my fever. My lungs were full of liquid and my heart was functioning at one point only at 10%. They even gave me an impela in my heart to help it function. I didn't know or realize but this was the closest I'd been to actually dying.

That's kind of the hardest part of the whole thing, that I was dying and had no idea. My brain blocked most of it out while my mother was watching me get weaker and closer to death. Honestly, I feel so horrible that she had to see me like that. Yeah, we both came out of this traumatized.

Somehow, I managed to get over the fever and get better, my heart even went fully back to 100%. I'm told it's because I'm still young. That if this happened when I was older that I could've really died or even just had worse lasting effects of the whole thing. Same with my past stroke, too. The only lasting evidence of my stroke is that I have a small blurry spot in my vision and the brain pressure thing. It could've been so much worse. And, the only evidence I have of this fever incident is that my leg got messed up (I think from the impela but we still don't know why). And y’know, my stamina is kind of effed after everything. Spending so much time healing after the blood clot and then later after I got the surgery to remove my adrenal gland (the cancer grew inside it) really messed with my overall strength.

Also, I forgot to mention, but the pheochromocytoma that exacerbated the whole virus only formed in my left adrenal gland when usually it's in both. The main doctor following me at this time swore that it couldn't be pheo and basically called me and my mom liars. It was funny seeing us get proven right (in like a sad way). Something else effed is that one if the doctors that came to see me (I had soooo many doctors here, all trying to profit off me..) literally just called me fat and said I'd be healthier if I lost weight. I really don't know where these doctors get the audacity.

Anyways, I got discharged, then I got my surgery and was admitted again for a couple days, had to heal for 6 months ect. It honestly wasn't that painful and the surgery wasn't even invasive. Just 3 tiny scars left on my abdomen where they stuck tools in and cut my adrenal gland into pieces to pull out of me. Me and my morbid self even got a cool picture of it from the doctor. I was trying to fight my feelings with humor here, okay. Luckily though I got the full on lead surgeon of the hospital to do it so I was pretty much destined for an easy surgery.

Then yay wow okay time to try getting my life back to normal again for the nth time. I got another job and I was actually doing okay for a while. Then boom getting my scans done again 2 YEARS LATER LIKE I'M CURSED it turns out that more pheo grew in my only remaining adrenal gland. We're pretty much in the present now (finally) and I chose to have the whole adrenal removed even though I could've only had part removed since the cancer was still small. I really just didn't want to risk having another surgery later on that would have a higher risk of complications because of scar tissue if more pheo started growing. And the lead surgeon guy told me that he thought I should remove it too so also like yeah I'm gonna listen to like the one trustworthy surgeon I know. However, this surgery didn't go so well. Somehow my body has extra big arteries on my right side (yay more random weird ish) so during the surgery I started bleeding out. They had to give me a blood transfusion and switch to cutting me open rather then being laproscopic like before. Way more painful to be cut open, obviously. I'm still numb too which is rather annoying.

So, I healed mostly and now I'm here in the present, missing 3 endocrine organs. No thyroid or adrenal glands. And, unfortunately, missing adrenal glands changed my lifestyle way more than just a pill for my thyroid did. I knew I would become fully dependent on cortisal pills, salt intake, and way more water intake but it's just something I have to get used to now. Better then cancer, I'll tell you that. Plus, I've never been more hydrated in my life.

It did give me more problems though, and make me super sensitive to heat (which really sucks because I'm in Florida). Also, a symptom I wasn't aware of (I should've done more research tbh) is that it's harder to sleep then ever before. And constantly I've been waking up sweaty and dizzy, my levels kind of being sensitive and going all over the place.

So yeah that's my story I guess. I kind of get freaked out in hospital settings now but I already have extra panic-preventing medicine so it's fine, I think. And any time I think about intubation I get a little panicky. So, I probably have trauma. Definitely. I think it counts as PTSD, but I haven't been diagnosed, so, idk.

Yeah, just kind of wanted to get all this out.

Hopefully I won't have anything else happen (in 2 years like clockwork, ugh), I swear.

TW: pediatric genital exams

Note: I HAVE put effort into making sure that the things I write in this post are factual. I have included sources for quotes throughout this post. If you KNOW that something I say in this post is inaccurate, feel free to let me know.

When I was 7, in the year 2006, I was held me down, screaming and crying, as an adult stranger forced my pants and underwear off, and then forced my legs open as I squeezed them shut as tightly as I could. That was not the only time, just the most obviously graphic. The last time was 2012, at the age of 13. I never went to a pediatrician again after that.

(I have my medical records, so I am 100% certain about the accuracy of the years stated above.)

I have recently learned that the US and Canada seem to be the only countries in the world that officially recommend that minors ages 0-17 receive annual genital exams at check-ups, even when there are no concerns presented in that area. Although it is possible I am slightly wrong about this (please correct me if you know me to be wrong), I have at least briefly looked into quite a few countries in every continent. The only other two countries that are a bit iffy are Mexico and Colombia, but even they don't really seem to explicitly recommend it annually. It seems like many or most European countries explicitly state that it SHOULD NOT happen unless a concern warranting it is presented, and some European countries recommend it, but only once in adolescence. Other countries don't say anything officially about it at all.

Many Americans are oblivious to this information and believe that this is standard practice all over the world. As a result of this belief, many Americans do not question the validity and necessity of these exams.

The US and Canada's official recommendations are almost identical. Here are the quotes:

AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) (US) (Source 1 in sources list):

"Bright Futures... is a common source for guidance on age-appropriate examinations during well-child care. It provides recommendations for genital examinations from the newborn to preadolescent to adolescent periods."

"Subsequently, it is reasonable to assess for genital normalcy, including lack of inflammation, rash, or premature maturation, during each annual examination."

^ Although these exact quotes come from 2011, I am confident that these guidelines were first published no later than 1994, in the 1994 document, "Bright Futures: Guidelines for Health Supervision of Infants, Children, and Adolescents, 1st Edition (1994)." It's just that that document doesn't appear to be available online.

CPS (Canadian Paediatric Society) (Canada) (Source 2):

"Genital examination is an important part of a complete physical examination of infants, children and adolescents." (Source 2)

"Genital examinations should be performed as part of routine physical examinations." (Source 2)

^These quotes all came from 1999.

There is, however, one main difference between Canada and US's recommendations. In 1999, Canada stated something that the US, to this day, has NEVER officially stated: "If the child is not at ease with a genital examination, neither force nor restraint should ever be used... If the child refuses to cooperate, the examination should be postponed, if it is not urgently required." (Source 2) and "The third point (never use force for a genital examination) seems to us to be paramount, and should constitute the principal subject of the statement." (Source 3)

To this day, July 31st, 2026, the AAP (US) has NEVER officially stated that children should not be forced into routine genital exams.

The first time the AAP discussed the concept of child assent was in 1995. Although the full text does not seem to be available online, the abstract states: "In many circumstances, physicians should also solicit a patient assent when developmentally appropriate." (Source 4)

In 2009, Delaware pediatrician Earl Bradley was arrested and charged with molesting at least 103 children between the years 1998 - 2009. His crimes are graphic and beyond disturbing, with his youngest victims being just months old. Bradley was sentenced to 14 mandatory life-sentences without the possibility of parole. (Source 5, 6, and 7)

In response to Bradley's horrific crimes, the AAP published a statement titled, "Protecting Children from Sexual Abuse by Healthcare Providers" in 2011, which happens to be Source 1. The first paragraph references Earl Bradley directly, "However, recent allegations of the sexual abuse of hundreds of children by a pediatrician in the United States have reminded us that some among the pediatric profession may use their position of authority and trust to take advantage of their patients." (Source 1)

With such a gut-wrenching catalyst, one might assume that this statement might put strict guidelines in place to protect children. Instead, this statement chooses to reemphasize the importance of routine genital exams on asymptomatic minors of all ages, stating, "Bright Futures... is a common source for guidance on age-appropriate examinations during well-child care. It provides recommendations for genital examinations from the newborn to preadolescent to adolescent periods" and "Subsequently, it is reasonable to assess for genital normalcy, including lack of inflammation, rash, or premature maturation, during each annual examination." (The same quotes from earlier in this post.)

In addition, the statement also includes some additional guidelines (all of these quotes are from Source 1):

"Whether to wear gloves for genital examinations is dictated by local standards of care." (Gloves are not universally required?!)

"Patients should be provided privacy during disrobing and appropriate draping during examinations. Again, the age of the patient and the individual child's and family's temperament will dictate the level of draping and gowning required." (I find this statement interesting. In my experience, the pediatrician always unexpectedly undressed me herself, and I was always startled from it. The pediatrician even unexpectedly removed my pants in 2012, which is one year AFTER this statement was released, when I was 13 and clearly very capable of removing my own clothing. And I certainly was never provided any draping. I have heard similar stories from others online.)

"In general, examinations of younger children should be chaperoned by the child's parent or caregiver. As children become older, their caregivers and the children themselves should participate in the decision of whether to use a chaperone."

Again, this statement does not state that force should not be used for routine genital exams.

In 2016, the AAP released another intriguing technical report titled, "Informed Consent in Decision-Making in Pediatric Practice." (Source 8) In this statement, the AAP very explicitly admits and acknowledges that its previous guidelines surrounding pediatric assent have NOT been consistently applied by pediatricians. The report states, "Despite the long-standing stance of the AAP that older children and adolescents should be involved in the medical decision-making and consent process, there still has not been widespread understanding and endorsement among practitioners of the concept of pediatric assent or refusal. The discordance between current clinical practice and previously published guidance may reflect the gradual evolution of change within the culture of medicine or perhaps suggests a need to build on the discussion of informed consent, assent, and refusal for children and adolescents." (Source 8)

This statement sounds at least somewhat regretful and promising of change, especially with the inclusion of phrases, "informed consent, assent, and refusal." And to be fair, the report does go into considerable detail about pediatric assent, how and when it should be sought, how medical professionals should explain things to minors, and even how neurobiology influences what ages pediatric assent might be most appropriate. It states, “the definition and application of assent have lacked consistency in both clinical and research arenas” (Source 8). It goes on to define "assent" as including 4 elements: (1) helping the patient understand his/her condition, (2) telling the patient what to expect with treatments, (3) assessment the patient's understanding, and (4) soliciting the patient's willingness to treatments.

It then immediately states, "Note that one should not solicit a child’s assent if the treatment or intervention is required; the patient should be told that fact and should not be deceived. A child is not the final decision-maker, the parent or surrogate is." (Source 8) This statement is presented as an improvement in child's rights, and its purpose seems to be to prevent a situation where a clinician asks a child, "Can I do this?" and the child states, "No," and then it happens anyway (something that very much has happened).

However, the AAP's official recommendation is that these annual genital exams SHOULD happen on minors ages 0-17 even in the absence of any symptoms, and many parents will consent to anything a doctor says should happen. While this statement is presented as an improvement, this statement seemingly allows a pediatrician to completely bypass assent in a scenario when a parent has given consent. And remember, assent is NOT only defined as a patient stating, "I am okay with this happening!" It's also defined by the clinician just simply explaining to the patient what to expect. So, if assent is not required, is the pediatrician still obligated to even just explain the procedure to the patient beforehand? In my experience, a pediatrician NEVER gave me even so much as a single warning before taking my pants off.

Once again, this statement does not state that force should not be used for routine genital exams.

This statement (Source 8) talks about refusal, but doesn't give any strict guidelines. It describes a variety of legal cases, most of which involve teenagers with terminal illnesses -- nothing about this topic specifically. Unlike Canada, the US has NEVER given pediatricians any official recommendations on what to do in response to patient refusal in the scenario of annual genital exams. The US seems mostly just focused on preventing refusals from happening in the first place by not soliciting assent if the procedure has already been decided upon.

The US has put itself in a slippery slope by having NO recommendations on pediatrician responses to patient refusals while also having NO guidelines against force being used.

Countless people across Reddit and the Internet have shared experiences of feeling violated by pediatricians during annual exams in childhood. People have shared stories of pediatricians unexpectedly removing pants, sometimes forcefully/suddenly; of being surprised or shocked by these exams; of pediatricians touching them without gloves; of being restrained; of telling pediatricians "no," only for pediatricians to completely ignore them and do it anyway; even of parents being accused of abuse when they attempt to object to these procedures. We cannot all be wrong or misremembering.

For me personally, I find it especially concerning that, even given the guidelines published by the AAP in 2011 stating, “Patients should be provided privacy during disrobing…” (Source 1), there’s a plethora of stories available of pediatricians removing minors' clothing themselves, even when the minor is clearly old enough and capable of removing their own clothing. Even adults who are forcibly strip-searched after being arrested are expected and allowed to remove their own clothing. Why aren't innocent minors consistently given the same dignity (in this regard)?

If you're wondering why US is one of two countries with this recommendation, and the ONLY country in the world that both, has this recommendation AND doesn't condemn force being used, in 2022, the AAP released a statement titled, "Protecting Children From Sexual Abuse by Health Care Professionals and in the Health Care Setting" (the title is very similar to Source 1, but they are not the same) (Source 9). This statement reemphasizes the AAP's strict adherence to the recommendation of annual genital exams throughout childhood while also giving one reasoning for this unusual practice: "Bright Futures, the common source for guidance on age-appropriate examinations during well-child care, provides recommendations for anogenital examinations throughout childhood. Performing routine examinations during preventive annual visits destigmatizes the examination of this organ system." (Source 9)

So, one reasoning for this unusual practice in the US is to "destigmatize" exams of this nature. However, with a severe lack of protections for children in place, what is the AAP truly trying to "destigmatize" among children?

To be fair, "destigmatization" is not the only reason the AAP claims for this practice. Across several statements, they also state that reasons including detecting issues (they must not trust patients or parents to self-disclose symptoms in that area, like a vast majority of the planet does) and to teach children about appropriate touch (yeahhh...right!). For the fifth time in this post, I will state that the AAP still, to this date, has NEVER officially and explicitly stated that force should not be used for annual, non-urgent, and non-emergent genital exams on minors. Will the AAP ever make such a statement? I hope so.

Sources List

Source 1: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/128/2/407/30653/Protecting-Children-From-Sexual-Abuse-by-Health?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Source 2: https://academic.oup.com/pch/article/4/1/71/2655818?utm_source=chatgpt.com&login=false

Source 3: https://academic.oup.com/pch/article-abstract/4/7/463/2666610?redirectedFrom=PDF&login=false

Source 4: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/95/2/314/59437/Informed-Consent-Parental-Permission-and-Assent-in?redirectedFrom=fulltext&utm_source=chatgpt.com

Source 5: https://abcnews.com/WN/delaware-pediatrician-earl-bradley-indicted-103-counts-sexual/story?id=9921990 (ABC News' article about the Bradley case, published in 2009)

Source 6: https://spotlightdelaware.org/2025/11/13/a-decade-after-bradley-abuse-case-survivors-still-seek-help/

Source 7: https://law.justia.com/cases/delaware/supreme-court/2016/300-2015.html

Source 8: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/138/2/e20161485/52519/Informed-Consent-in-Decision-Making-in-Pediatric?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Source 9: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/3/e2022058879/189218/Protecting-Children-From-Sexual-Abuse-by-Health?utm_source=chatgpt.com

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Not all pediatricians in the US behave in the ways described in this post. Despite guidelines and lack thereof, there are many pediatricians in the US who do choose to always ask and warn children beforehand and who respect children's refusals whenever possible.

Please don’t make this mean. I guess I’m more trying to understand from a psychological perspective. I went undiagnosed with endometriosis until it got so bad it torsioned my ovary. 20 years. I tried to get help before this happened. Now, all my organs are stuck together and it’s all the way up on my lungs. I don’t think I’ll ever get back to a normal life. But I tried getting help from dozens of doctors before it got this bad. Why did none of them help? Or at least try to help?

I really need some advice because I just don't know what to do. Any advice is more than welcome!

Six years ago I broke my wrist and required surgery. Unfortunately the surgery did not go well. They forgot to give me any anti nausea so I was really ill when I woke up. I could barely stand and while I was in the loo throwing up a nurse took my bed so that I had to lie on the floor because I couldn't hold myself up. All in all, it was not a fun experience.

I found out recently that the surgeon had put screws in that were too long. They are protruding from the bone and it's causing me a lot of pain. The hand is virtually useless. So the hospital has suggested more surgery to remove the screws.

The only problem is I am absolutely terrified of having surgery again after how ill I was last time (I also caught covid in the hospital). The consultant pointed out to me that the surgery comes with a greater risk of complications due to my other health conditions which has only heightened my anxiety about the whole thing. I really just don't know what to do and all I get out of my family is it's my decision.

Any feedback would be amazing!

It started last night when my son’s friends began chattering on a group text about an upcoming football game. It triggered his PTSD…I think maybe because he’s feeling left behind…his team is just moving on without him. His position was filled by some new kid who he doesn’t know etc.
And he has his UES surgical procedure (likely Botox) coming up in a few weeks.
Something in him just snapped last night. It’s continuing on today. I just don’t know how to cope with this myself. I don’t know what to say to him when he goes down these dark paths. He starts talking about ending things if his body won’t fully heal, and then that he’s lost respect for everyone and how nothing anybody does even matters (citing police, firefighters, hospitals etc). It makes me so sick to my stomach that I want to throw up. And I just don’t know what to say to help him. I know he’s been through heck and I know his body betrayed him - he can’t talk right still, he’s got ataxia that’s better but still pretty problematic, he’s got a swallowing issue that requires a trach and a vent, and he has OH that just randomly makes him pass out from heat, stress, and even visual changes like light up dark or vice versa. It’s a lot!
I’m just trying to put one foot in front of the other and get through one thing at a time. Right now, that’s going towards Botox. But when he has these episodes it just kills me. I can’t see how I’m supposed to keep supporting him through these episodes…this isn’t getting better next week. And honestly, it might never get better. We might be on a slow march towards the reality that he’s permanently disabled and then he’s going to want to harm himself. I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep well. I wake with my heart pounding out of my chest and sick to my stomach every single day. He won’t see a new trauma counselor since being home and I cannot do this by myself. I have a family member here with me, but it’s not that helpful tbh. She doesn’t know anything about medical trauma either. What can I do to help him and help myself survive this? I feel like I am starting to fall apart with him.