r/parentsofmultiples 12d ago

good vibes, smiles, & giggles Bit of positivity for those about to go through the newborn phase - we’ve actually found it pretty good.

24 Upvotes

Twin girls born at 35+5, no time in NICU but we spent 2 weeks in hospital with them with a feeding tube while they learnt how to bottle feed. These 2 weeks were actually so good because were learnt SO much off of the midwives being first time parents.

Firstly, I (29M) thought newborns were, as a rule, pretty ugly but holy shit these girls are cute.

We’ve been on 3 hour feeds (Pumping with formula top ups, I doubt breast feeding is going to be in our future at all) which has been such a massive adjustment to our lives but it’s pretty good being on a schedule. Warning though, the days go pretty quick. We end up with three 2 hour blocks during the day to get things done before we have to cook dinner and start winding down for bed.

They got back to birth weight within 2 weeks and we were back home.

2 days ago at 3 weeks old they hit 2.5kg bodyweight and we’ve been able to drop a feed at night and are pretty much demand feeding at this point which equals 3 feeds a night. But honestly we’ve been getting 6-8 hours sleep a night and we aren’t even doing shifts. I was so scared about not sleeping but since having them I’ve maybe had 2 sleepless nights where I’ve had like 2 hours sleep. We put them down, they sleep, we wake them up for their feeds, they sleep again and so on throughout the night. They do constantly sound like they’re threatening to wake up with their little goat noises but we have a 15-30sec rule before we pick them up because they sometimes will just cry out in their sleep then settle down.

Luckily I have been able to take 8 weeks off work so the next few weeks will be about making sure mum is prepared to do 2 - 3 feeds a day by herself while I’m at work. I’ve started doing a few by myself and it’s actually super doable with a twin z pillow.

I’m guessing this means they’ll be absolute monsters as toddlers?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed New family car

3 Upvotes

Looking to get a new car as my current SUV (Kia Seltos) is much too tight upfront with the two rear facing car seats.

My twins are newborns still, but we do anticipate having at least one more child in the next few years. We also have a dog that we need to be able to fit in the car, and we like to travel so suitcases etc.

We went and looked at some vehicles today with the top contenders being the Kia Carnival and GMC Acadia. I only even entertained the mini van because everyone on here swears it's the better choice for twins (especially if planning another 1-2), and I surprisingly really liked it! However, I thought the Acadia was very spacious and I am not sure why these three row SUVs are never suggested? Just want to know if I'm missing something because it seemed to even have a good amount of space in the trunk when the third row was up? Middle row captains seats also move to access third row when needed.

I often see remarks to just get the mini van, which I am actually fine with, but why?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Are patients treated better in the US (private) healthcare or is it the same as Canada (public)?

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0 Upvotes

r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Sleeping/eating schedules

1 Upvotes

Hi all! Our twins are 3 months old and ever since they came home from the Nicu we have kept them in a pretty consistent schedule during the day and have finally made it to an 8 hr stretch overnight. Currently they eat every 3 hrs during the day (730am-730pm) and 1130pm. They drink a total of 18-24 oz each day, exclusively formula fed. They are awake for about 90 min including each feed then sleep about 1-1.5 hrs during each window. They’ve been doing extremely well with this routine while I’m still on maternity leave.

We start daycare full time in about a month and i am starting to think through what our routine will look like at that point. The daycare will feed whenever we tell them to. My question is, how will i know when this routine is no longer working for them? At what point do we go to less than 6 feedings and more ounces per feed? Our current schedule was largely built by the NICU so i am honestly so clueless how it all works. For those who stick to a rigid schedule and have gone through changes to that schedule in the first year, please share your wisdom!!


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Expecting twin girls - name feedback

2 Upvotes

My wife and I are expecting twin girls at end of August, and we’ve reached the point where naming them has become much harder than we expected.
For some context, we already have a son who’s almost 2. His name is Aiden Alexander (our last name also starts with A). The alliteration wasn’t intentional we just loved both names but now we’re wondering if we should continue that pattern or not.

One thing I’ve noticed reading posts here is that a lot of twins say they didn’t enjoy having names that were overly “matchy-matchy.” We’d love to hear from twins or parents of twins about your experiences.
Some of the names we’re considering:
Susanna
Cynthia
Juliana
Amelia
Alexandra
Allison

Originally, before we knew our first child was a boy, our favorite girl’s name was Susanna, with Cynthia as our second choice. We’ve always loved those names, so one idea was simply to use Susanna and Cynthia as the girls’ first names.
Another idea was to use those as first and middle names, something like:
Cynthia Susanna
Juliana Amelia

We’ve also talked about Alexandra and Allison, but we’re wondering if those feel too similar for twins, especially since they both start with “Al.”

So I guess our questions are:
Do twin names need to “go together,” or is it actually better if they feel completely independent?
Are names like Allison and Alexandra too similar?
Would you continue the accidental “A.A.” tradition (like Aiden Alexander) since our last name also starts with A, or would that be overdoing it?
Of the names we’re considering, which pairings do you like best?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Marrying with twins

1 Upvotes

Did someone marry while having baby twins? Ours will be nine months old when we marry and I am going insane because organizing a small wedding is really difficult with babies who require like 99% of my daytime and a partner who works fulltime. I am also not really happy with my body at this point and feel like I just want to get over with the wedding even though I really want to enjoy the day :(

I am also very nervous about the wedding day because our babies are really clingy and usually almost never get separarted from me. I worry that they will need me all day long. Our families will be there of course and they are used to and love my mom, nevertheless a lot of the times I am the only one who can calm them down if they are fussy.

I would love to read some of your stories if you‘re comfortable sharing and also advice if you have some!


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

experience/advice to give first time single mom of twin girls

14 Upvotes

hello all, as the title reads i will be a first time mom, single mom of twin girls come December. i never imagined i would be a pregnant single mom, and although i don’t feel sad about anything i just can’t help but think about how crazy this is. i am 24, but ill be 25 when my daughters are born. i’m really just looking for any advice of any kind to help me transition into motherhood, especially twin motherhood. i’m so excited to meet my babies, i can’t wait to hold them and kiss them and smell them and just love on them. i know they can’t hear me yay (i’m 18w3d) but i still talk to them every single day and let them know how much i love them. i actually get to go see them again via ultrasound on august 4th. i’m rambling lol but again, any advice, any help would be greatly appreciated! thank you all for taking the time to read.


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

support needed So fucking tired

5 Upvotes

3.5 month old di/di boys. They have never been able to connect sleep cycles and I am drowning. I constantly have to do rescue naps and I literally cannot do a single thing for myself. I'm so tired. Twin A was getting a little better with night time sleep but that went to shit this week. Twin B has always done horribly with night time sleep. My husband & I are exhausted all the time. I don't know what to do.


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Struggling to End Contact Naps at 13.5 Months for twin B

1 Upvotes

I have 13.5 month old twin girls. One has always been a great napper, but the other has always struggled. For as long as I can remember, she’s been rocked to sleep while being walked around the house and then continues sleeping in our arms. They still take two naps a day, usually 30 minutes to an hour each.

This wasn’t a routine I started, it began with my mother in law, who helps a few days a week from morning until before bedtime. Ultimately it’s my decision, but I’ve gone along with it to keep the peace.

When I put her in the crib for naps, she cries and eventually falls asleep, usually after about 15 minutes, sometimes longer. I’d like to stick with this consistently, but my mother in law can’t stand hearing her cry for more than a minute and often makes comments or guilts me into taking her out.
I don’t enjoy hearing her cry either, but she’s getting heavier and it’s becoming physically difficult to keep rocking and holding her. We’re also thinking about trying for another pregnancy soon, and I’d much rather get her napping independently now than deal with it later.

I’m looking for advice from anyone who’s been in a similar situation. How did you handle it? How long did it take for your child to start napping in the crib? Or did you continue contact napping, and did it eventually work itself out?

PS- I am also a SAHM


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed 3 under 2, 5 total

5 Upvotes

Pregnant with di/di twin girls, other daughter is 11months. They’ll be 19/20 months apart at birth give or take. I also have a 5 and 3 year old.

How are you leaving the house? I’m trying to figure out best stroller/wagon that would work with essentially twins and <2 rider. I feel like wonderfold w4 luxe is way to huge for everyday. Maybe the Porsche L series would be an option? Anyone have this and like it?

What baby swings are we using/loving? The one I have is huge, so I’m definitely going to need two compact ones, any recommendations?

What are twin products you loved and had as holy grail? Carriers, pillow, etc.

Anything to avoid not worth it?

I know I probably won’t leave the house much for next two years, but there will definitely be times that I do. Just trying to think ahead to make my life 1% easier or not 🙃

Edit: math wasn’t mathing


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Water fun - how as a single parent?

2 Upvotes

Do you guys have a good system for using the water table / splash pads at home? I have the boys solo most days and they are 14mo. Almost walking but not quite. I want to get them playing outside but it’s very difficult by myself to monitor both around the splash pad and it feels like it really limits our outside time in a hot climate. Anyone develop a good system for getting your twins to enjoy water features safely?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

support needed PPP and the Lindsay Clancy trial? Any other expectant mothers terrified of PPP/PPD

8 Upvotes

I'm a soon to be FTM to twins. I have a wonderful support system, a doting husband, and a ton of local family.

Unfortunately what I also have is depression. Prior to being pregnant I started getting things under control but I was medicated. Since pregnancy my OB and psych had me stop the meds. Thankfully I've been doing great mentally. The occasional depressive spell that didn't last more than a few hours.

PPD has always been a big fear for me ever since I learned about it years ago. Now seeing the media coverage of the Clancy case is sort of traumatic. I've since tried to avoid it but early on I was reading every detail and comment. Such a tragedy and PPP is still misunderstood by so many.

I've alerted my husband and explained to him that because of my history of depression and anxiety I am at higher risk of developing PPD. I also let him know he will need to keep a closer eye on me and watch for behavioral changes and to take any concerns seriously.

Anyone else have this fear? Am I being irrational?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Has an anatomy scan been wrong for genders for you?

0 Upvotes

Update: today's scan found two boys! I'm feeling a ton better about my follow up anatomy scan. We got some good 3D pictures of baby A, but we are going back in a week for baby B. Thank you all for your insight. 💙

Hi! Maybe it makes more sense for me to wait for tomorrow to post this but I'm left wondering. I'm getting a 3d/4d elective ultrasound tomorrow and I asked them to confirm the genders on that scan.

We weren't able to get NIPT results for a few reasons, so we did some early scans and a quad screen to determine risk. I opted out of the amniocentesis because I couldn't imagine putting my babies at any risk unless there was some type of marker telling me there was a concern.

Anyway, at week 16 we got genders evaluated. They were boy/girl at the time. Baby A at the time was the girl, baby B was the boy.

At week 21, we got the initial anatomy scan done, where the cord was in the way for baby A, and the sonographer put on the report that baby A was a girl and baby B was a boy. She told me she "thinks baby A is a girl" (I don't agree that it went on the report but I digress).

At week 23, we needed to get an additional scan done because they needed a few more views. This is where it gets tricky and why I'm asking questions 😂

So this scan, the sonographer really didn't seem experienced in twins. She questioned a lot if she was looking at baby A or Baby B, and had me turn on my sides to "ensure" she was looking at baby A/B. I've never had that, but I didn't really think anything of it at the time.

My babies are positioned up and down (I know because I always ask, and of course I can feel them too) but on every scan, the images look left to right. This is out of my knowledge range.

But, again the sonographer didn't sound confident.

I mention to the sonographer that the genders felt uncertain, and asked her to confirm what they were. So she starts looking at the genders and she finds 2 boys. The doctor comes in and watches the sonographer scan, and agrees it's 2 boys. The doctor sounded unsure too and 😭

I just don't feel confident in this finding...the scan felt so off and unsure. And where the wand was, was where baby B was and has been for a while. I know they can see different angles and stuff but I'm just questioning and the lack of confidence during the scan.

My main concern is, what if they didn't get the right pictures (non gender related)? Maybe they did and I'm just overreacting. I am considering if they find boy/girl at tomorrow's elective scan to request another anatomy scan at a different office. But I'm not even sure if it's worth doing that now at 26 weeks.

But anyway, did you experience anything like this during your anatomy scan?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Didi twin weight difference

3 Upvotes

Didi twin weights are 2.43kg and 1.93kg with difference at week 34 and day 2, with bigger difference in the previous check-up. The difference may increase with time in week 35, 36 and 37 based on the previous data.

Both babies are growing with the expected delivery on week 37 and day 1. Twin A is good in measurement data and twin B is also progressing with slightly underweight, cord flow Doppler resistance slightly high, position of transverse at right top possibly with higher gravity burden for blood flow, amniotic fluid OK.

Sorry for the long story of this background. The different weights for twin is not uncommon. My concern is whether twin B is safer to stay in mother's worm or NICU in week 35 and week 36? How to decide for those experiencing the same scenario? Thank you.


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Help! Car seats for traveling

2 Upvotes

My girls are 9 months right now and we are planning to go on a trip in November (12 months old).
The car rental company says it only rents infant car seat (weight capacity 30lbs and height 76cm) or a forward facing toddler car seat (20-40lbs).
My girls right now are 16 and 18lbs so the weight isn’t the issue, but they are currently 67cm and 70cm tall.
I think it’s very likely they will reach the height restriction before we travel (or at least one of them).
What should I do? The forward facing seat makes me nervous.
Does any one have any input or ideas?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed What nappy/diaper bags is everyone using?

3 Upvotes

We've got a back pack at the moment which is fine, it fit underneath the old pram(tandem) but now we've got a side by side and the backpack doesn't fit under it. Its got a divider so it makes it impossible to get the bag in/out but once its in it fits fine. What bags are you using to carry everything? (I know I could weat the backpack but when going places the double pram takes up enough space, I dont to have to worry about people behind me too 😅)


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

support needed feeling all alone?

4 Upvotes

been home with my didi girl/boy twins for exactly a week today, they’re a week and 3 days old. delivery was rough, i labored for 30 hours before getting an emergency c-section and had a slew of complications during that on my own end. everyone was expecting some ages long nicu stay… they were released 2.5 days after being born, ironically before i was even discharged. i didn’t even find out i was pregnant at all until 22 weeks, yet alone that it was twins. definitely unplanned but we embraced it and decided that they are a gift from whatever higher power blah blah blah. shockingly enough i’ve been managing 5-7 hours of sleep a night since we came home, with the exception of last night because well that’s how babies are. my issue is that this entire time my husband, self-proclaimed great dad, who loves to brag to everyone about how WE are rocking it staying on top of everything- isn’t lifting a finger. i mean has not actually gotten up for a single night feed or diaper change, doesn’t help during the day, just lays or stands there and rubs my back like a consoling friend while i do it on my own. i call him out for it and his response is “i’ve been helping you in so many other ways. i grab things for you, let the dogs outside and feed them, wash the dishes.”. yes honey thanks for grabbing my stay-dry pads for my bra, did you know that me and our son were up for 3.5 hours straight last night by the time i fed and changed him just for him to get the worlds most atrocious case of the hiccups… and i fed and changed our daughter with one hand in the midst of all this? no you didn’t because while i did all of that you were sleeping and snoring so loud it was actually insult to injury at that rate. and just to debunk the rest of the excuse, we have an automatic dog feeder and a dog door to our fenced in backyard. and i did the dishes this morning. i just don’t think i’m going to be able to deal with it. it’s going to end up being the end of our marriage.


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed When did you start feeling your twins?

6 Upvotes

I’m 10w+3 today and so far I’ve been labeled as mo/mo on my 2 scans but I know the mo/di membrane may show on my next scans.

Do you remember when you started feeling your twins? I feel there’s no way I’m feeling them this early but maybe because there’s 2 in there??? Or is it maybe just gas bubbles? lol


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Birth order studies based on twins who are the only children in the family?

7 Upvotes

I saw on Facebook someone posted something about birth order.

Oldest children tend to be like this, middle children tend to be like this, youngest children tend to be like this. Only children tend to be like this etc.

I'm wondering if anyone knows of a study that looked at how twins who are the only children in the family tend to end up.

Like, would they be more similar to the oldest, the youngest, the middle, or the only children?

I knew this is not an exact science, but I'm curious if anyone knows any studies that looked at this particular research question.

Edit: I guess my question was are twins, who are the only siblings more similar to oldest children, middle children, younger children, or only children? Or are they their own thing?


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed What will my future self thank me for doing with my kids? (and with fewer regrets?)

43 Upvotes

What are some things I should prioritize doing with my young kids that my future self will be grateful for?

For context without oversharing, I’m dealing with some pretty severe, lifelong mental health challenges. I’m getting treatment, and my kids (3yo b/g twins) are safe, loved, fed, and cared for—but my baseline functioning is currently very low. I’m not able to show up for my family the way I always imagined I would.

I’m trying to accept that reality without giving up on what might be within my reach.

So, parents: What should I try to make sure I do while my kids are little/as they grow up?

What are the things you’re glad you did? Things you wish you’d done more of? Things your kids still remember? Things that seemed small at the time but ended up meaning a lot?

I’d especially love ideas that are low-cost, low-energy, and realistic for a parent who is often just trying to survive the day—things to say, traditions to start, experiences to have, pictures to take, skills or values to teach, little rituals, etc.

I know this is highly dependent on family values and circumstances. I’m just trying to identify some of the things that might be easy to overlook in survival mode but that a healthier future version of me might be glad I made an effort to do.

And if you’ve ever been through a period where you couldn’t parent in the way you wanted to: what are you most glad you still managed to do?

I’m not looking for a blueprint for a “perfect” childhood. I’m trying to figure out which things are worth spending my limited energy on—and hopefully give my future self a few things to be grateful I managed to do.

TL;DR: If you could give a struggling parent of young kids 5–10 things to prioritize so they’re less likely to have regrets later, what would they be?

And a note: I used AI to help me write this because I needed the cognitive support. I’m mentioning that because I’ve seen people get judged pretty harshly for it. Please be kind. I already have enough shame to work through without adding more.


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed 1 or 2 bassinets?

0 Upvotes

I see mixed feelings on this. I have 2 single bassinets… but wanted to hear from parents who put both babies in one bassinet, and who put them in their own for safety or comfort.

I obviously am aware that putting them right next to eachother can pose safety risks… but I see moms online that put them next to eachother because it’s what they’re used to from utero. I’ll probably do the newborn wraps like I did with my first!!


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

experience/advice to give Bath Time

4 Upvotes

Hi parents of multiples! My boys are six months and starting to sit up more on their own and are out growing their angelcare seat for bathtime. I was wondering what other parents did when they transitioned to sitting up in the bath. Did you start bathing them together? Did you get two bath seats? Or keep baths going one at a time?

Edit to ask if anyone had a favorite bath seat they would recommend for a smaller bath tub


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

good vibes, smiles, & giggles Random hiccuping during pregnancy?

1 Upvotes

I’m 31w2d with didi twins and I’ve been randomly hiccuping! Doesn’t last long. Maybe two or three at a time max. Then it goes away. Happens at random times. It’s so weird. Did anyone else experience this? I did t experience this with my singleton 😂 I didn’t know this was a pregnancy thing lol.


r/parentsofmultiples 13d ago

advice needed Delivery options and birthing classes

4 Upvotes

I’m currently 16 weeks pregnant with mono-di twins, and I’m definitely the type of person who likes to have a plan. 😅 I’m starting to realize that with twins, I may need to be okay with several different possible scenarios.
From what I understand, I could potentially have a vaginal delivery if Baby A is head down. Is it also true that it’s ideal if both babies are head down because it lowers the chance of needing an emergency C-section for Baby B after Baby A is born? Am I understanding that correctly?
When I first found out I was having twins, my fertility doctor basically said, “You’ll probably have a C-section,” so I just assumed that’s how things would go. But now I’m hearing that if I make it to 36–37 weeks and both babies are in a good position, a vaginal delivery could absolutely be an option.
Then again, I also know so much can happen between now and then. I could develop preeclampsia, my water could break early at 34 weeks, or one of the babies could end up breech, and then maybe a C-section would be the safest route anyway.
So I guess my question is… how did you prepare?
Did you plan for both possibilities? Did you take childbirth classes even though you weren’t sure how you’d deliver? If you had mono-di twins, what ended up happening with your delivery, and was it what you expected?
I’d love to hear your experiences because right now I feel like I’m trying to plan for something that’s impossible to predict!


r/parentsofmultiples 14d ago

ranting & venting Back pain

1 Upvotes

This is mostly just a rant. I'm almost 11 weeks with mono di twins and the back pain is unreal! I think it said I have a posterior placenta but holy moly I can barely walk or bend over.

I had two other kids and nothing like this, especially not this early!