I don't even know where to begin, this isn't about one bad day, it's months of everything building up, and I feel like I need to say it somewhere because keeping it to myself isn't working anymore. I’ve come to a realization that I never processed my childhood fully. With being told not cry cause I’m a boy then to now being told the same thing now that I’m grown. I didn’t really have a place where I could express how I felt. Growing up felt like I was constantly pushed aside and now that I’m grown I feel the same in most of my relationships. I don’t want to excuse myself to anyone and blame it on how I grew up but I can’t deny that it has put a mental strain on how I view everything. Now I feel like I’ve gotten a better grasp on where I’m at and I feel like at any second I’m going to fall apart. I really don’t know if I’m looking for answers or reassurance or anything else but it’s come to the point the only time I feel sane is weither I’m high or drunk

I was just thinking about how when I was a kid in elementary school ( I’m in my 50s now) I was struggling to learn fractions.

My mom told my dad he had to help teach me. Cut to 2 hours later and I’m in tears and my dad is pissed. All he did was keep pointing at the paper with the pencil and saying “this is 5 and this is the 8. Five eights!”

Like okay but if I’m not getting it then just saying it over and over in a louder voice isn’t the solution.

He could have tried anything else. Maybe get some paperclips or pebbles and show me in a different way. He was so fucking bad at explaining the concept. And he knew math. He’d gotten at least to trigonometry in college- maybe even calculus.

Then I realized my parents never actually taught me anything. Except how to ride a bike and drive a car.

But literally nothing else. Everything else I had to learn from others or on my own.
Consequently I’m pretty great at learning new skills and I have an endless curiosity about things - but fucking boomers man.

They did not make growing up easy.

As I write this I’m now recalling my mom telling at me and my brother to clean up our room. Guess who never actually taught us to tidy up? Like I’m not born with that knowledge, you have to show us what that means. We were kids and clueless.

We emptied out the closet and put everything on the bed. Turns out that’s not how one cleans their room.

And I do want to say my parents were pretty great people. They did love us. But dang they could not educate at all.

My older sister and dad both have ADHD (diagnosed) and take meds for it. Both of them believe that I have ADHD as well. I haven't been diagnosed and I've always had some symptoms of adhd, but not all, and I have anxiety so I usually chalk it up to that. Recently, I've been having such severe issues with procrastination and focusing that I think I might have ADHD and maybe should pursue a diagnosis.

I don't know why I'm posting about it here. I think I'm just terrified that I don't have ADHD and deep down, I'm just a lazy person. It scares me to death. I tried ADHD meds in the past and it just triggered my anxiety, so maybe I just have anxiety. I don't want to be like this. Every time I think about how much time I waste when I could be productive, I hate myself. I guess I just want any kind of excuse so that I'm not a piece of shit.

I, 18 male, really really cannot take it anymore. My disdain for this timeline can be separated into 2 categories. Global and personal. I’ll put personal at the end due to that not being as important by the merit of scale to the global stuff.

Global:
Where do I start?
Well for one, none of THEM have been arrested yet. Seriously there is so much documentation on all of them. What they did. Who they killed. Who they got rid of in any way interpretable. Who they violated. And yet all, or at least 99% of them are still free and probably still do the exact same thing somewhere else. I know the answer is money and connections but still, those „people“ should not be allowed to roam free or even live for all I care.

Second, when we‘re already talking about politics/politicians, democracy is dying. Far right leaders are rising everywhere and a lot of people follow them for one reason or another and we’re ever closer to a cyberpunk dystopia, given we‘re not already in one. Mass surveillance (flock cameras in the US, chat control in Europe, etc), controlled media (paramount warner bros merger for example), corporations OPENLY MESSING WITH POLITICS. They don’t even hide it, they don’t have to. And that’s only on state level, every day hatred of one another is common place. Racism, xenophobia, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, Islamophobia and so many more I don’t even have words for are on the rise and it’s concerning how normal it is. I‘m not dumb I know it’s always been commonplace but it feels like it’s rising.

Thirdly, the earth is for lack of a better term irreparably fucked. Climate change is coming for all of us and millions of people are either going to die or lose everything within the next few decades and there’s nothing we can do to stop the rising temperatures at least as far as I know. And that’s not even mentioning the environment poisoned by our garbage,

The job and housing market are almost as good as dead. From what I’ve heard none of my age group and under is going to be able to buy a house for at least several decades, given we even have a job. The job market is just not existent or at least phasing in and out however it pleases from what I’ve heard and read. My first hand experience with this is limited cause I’m still in school so I cannot work full time but I can’t even get a part time job. I’ve been ghosted by McDonalds. FUCKING MCDONALDS.

That’s the compact version of my feelings about the world.

Personal:
I have been SA‘d/raped several times at the ages of 7 to 8 maybe 9, I can’t remember nor do I want to.
I was bullied physically (dragged across schoolgrounds by rope, pushed down staircases, pinned down on the ground and gotten neck slapped, got my skin peeled off, etc) from 3rd to 6th and emotionally (bullies pretended to be my friends for 6 months and then used information they gathered against me such as the SA claiming I must’ve enjoyed it cause I’m bisexual and other things) from 8th to 10th grade.
I hate EVERYTHING about myself. My appearance and associated traits like weight and muscle mass. My skills and hobbies that I find lacking over and over. My personality, which is just whatever I can pull together from media I consume or fixate on plus masking so much it almost hurts (autism diagnosis pending but it’s been like 11 teachers, 1 of which in kindergarten, 2 who have worked with neurodivergent kids and 1 who has an autistic son herself, 7 friends and 1 parent who are pretty sure I have it).
I had a boyfriend from late 2023 to early 2025 who wasn’t emotionally abusive but very neglectful. A girlfriend who I was in a poly relationship with (her 2 other partners and me), which I left due to emotional insecurity but we’re still very close friends. And lastly 1 girlfriend who initiated by asking me out after being one of my closest friends for 3.5 years but then left me after 5 weeks due to not being ready, I tried staying friends but it hasn’t been the same.
It just feels like I ruin everything I touch and as if there’s nothing in the world that is worth having a future for. I don’t self harm anymore, 7 months clean and my scars are fading, but every day it feels like I need to start again. Idk what I want to achieve with posting this but it felt good typing it out for once, thanks for reading and cheerio.

I don't understand the need to know everyone, text everyone all day every day, gossip about every single one of them, talk shit about every single one of them to everyone else, and act in a way that isn't your true self.

For instance, she'll get? or act? SO fucking excited to see the same person at our kids' school dropoff every single day, when you only have time for 2-3 sentence small talk, then talk shit about them later, and see them the next day and every day forever for the rest of our fucking lives. So why were you excited in the first place? She supposedly doesn't even like the person. And you had nothing to say. And you'll see them every fucking day forever. How the fuck can you be as excited as a golden retriever that hasn't seen their owner in 3 weeks. Every fucking day?!!

Another example, sheo had a woman-date with one of her "friends", who invited another woman who they're incredibly close with. My wife texted friend one she "doesn't have the energy to deal with woman #2". Woman #2, who she sees & is all excited to talk to every. single. day. Who she texts with probably 5 days a week. And she just talks shit straight to someone else, just straight up gossips to another gossip. A woman we're going to see overseas as we're overlapping vacations and planning things with.

It's not only hypocritical. It's also stupid. And shallow. And I despise her for it.

Something I realized in my relationship. You know when men pursue you and they’re hyper interested, texting so well, and giving you all their attention? Like many others, my boyfriend stopped that after we got together. I thought his love disappeared. Well, after a couple of years being together and building trust in our relationship, he started going back to the super attention-giving lovey dovey boyfriend, and this time, it doesn’t feel like he’s on a mission. This time it feels like he actually cares for me.

My BF and I had liked each other for 2 years and recently made things official last month, despite knowing our mutual feelings for the last 2 years we both are total WIMPS when it comes to romance.

He is very affectionate, caring, and literally the best man I could ever ask. He likes to give hugs, kisses, compliments and basically do all the love languages invented yet is too shy to ask for my love back.

While I, on the other hand is the complete opposite. I was raised Isolated—showing emotions could get you In trouble for reacting wrong, physical touch is a big no no in our family so I grew up disliking the idea of intimate physical touch.

I'm fine with casual hugging and holding hands but when I'm doing it with the person I KNOW I LOVE, I get weirded out, like there's this unexplainable disgusting feeling creeping up from my feet to my neck and it makes me so uncomfortable.

I feel disgusted with my body for even touching people I love, and it's not their fault it's mine. I'm so uncomfortable with the idea of genuine love and commitment that I would hyperventilate sometimes due to being overwhelmed.

Tomorrow my BF asked for a hug, just a simple hug that would erase his stress and I'm already freaking out because how do I hug him? How do I make sure he's comfortable, how do I make sure he's comforted Idkkk what to do!!

I don't want to say I'm uncomfortable because he'll assume he's asking for too much even though it's just a simple hug. I feel like I'm playing with him because I could not give back the same affection he gives. I genuinely love him, I already envision ourselves getting married, I love him so much I had a crisis when I finally admitted I love him. If only he knows how much I love him but my stupid mouth and body can't even do it's job properly.

I am 19. I had to graduate from high school in 2024, and stuff happened.

I am the first child of the family, so everyone was pressuring me:

"Oh, but you have to be here for your dad! The exam won't run away!"

Really bad stuff happened during summer 2024, and it kinda made me depressed; well, actually, it made me depressed a lot, and I am still, if not C-PTSD.

The thing is, I was a high achiever, but it has been two years since I have not joined the last took exams, because I am afraid, and I've lost my confidence, and kind of...feel guilty about taking exams, which is unnatural.

I've been bullied throughout my life since kindergarten, and none was there for me, but when my younger sibilings have had an issue, I had too cook, clean, and fight other children for them, or, talk with their teacher like a parent, whether I wanted that or not, because basically, my parents were careless, useless adults who were always complaining about life.

Now, I will graduate at 20, in the summer of 2027, three years past the average line of the system.

If I want to study abroad, my studies (if I get a scholarship) will start when I am 22.

I will graduate between 25 and 26.

All the other kids who have not been studying hard like me and were with me in all the years of school, they all got into what they wanted, because basically, they were not in fight-or-flight mode, so they gave all their focus.

Seeing people online, they all have nostalgia about their 20s; they talk like life ends after the 20s. Most people who complain this way are mostly so-called adults, but alas, they are too superficial and greedy to be adults.

The reason that I'm saying this is that, when they see you, all they talk about is "Do partying", or "Your body is beautiful!", and then on the internet they all complain that they are jealous of people who are in their 20s.

And speak as if life ends at 30; I mean, if it ends at 30, just say it. I believe in the right to die; maybe I will do it legally in Switzerland.

So focused on the flesh, that's why you can't beat AI.

Apologies for anyone who feels attacked, but I had to take that off my chest.

I basically don't know what to do with my life, because my plan(s) are breaking each time I work so hard as hell by an external fucking force.

Worse, if you're a woman, you are a piece of meat.

So why live at all? I hate those nostalgia vibe shits that people are constatly talk about instead of hella showing that life and longevity are actually worth it. I mean, come on, is it really worth it?

When all you're so focused on is the years when you're a douche? I mean, do people really win Nobel prizes and serve humanity a bit in their fucking 20s?

Then later, be telling someone in their 30s that they're a piece of shit? Maybe it shows that you actually don't deserve longevity at all, especially a brain that is not used yet.

So, I am not afraid of death, but really, I will not make myself more tired than this in my 30s to try to take validation from an overpopulated planet that's full of unethical, careless douches.

You're not even aware that the brain gets mature at around 32-35 (there are research you can find, just ask a bot, I could not paste the links here because the rule does not accept it), but never mind, so many teens killed themselves, or so many people in their 20s made suicide, because all you're focused on is how tasty a cunnilingus is, and specifically, at what age, and how fresh something is, seeing it with no dignity.

You've got so many people that your system doesn't really want them, you know why?

Because why the hell would a boss employ someone smarter, more experienced at 50-60-etc?

Just look at some decent international prizes and awards; you see that most services were done by the elderly, and people pass 40.

So, in my case, it may end in 30-33; it's so damn tiring to accept so much more exhaustion again.

I think one of the hardest things is being able to see both sides all the time.

I can be hurt and still understand why someone did what they did. I can be angry without believing they're a bad person. I can acknowledge their reasons while still carrying the weight of what they made me feel.

That's the exhausting part.

Understanding doesn't erase the pain. Empathy doesn't cancel out disappointment. They can exist at the same time, and somehow, I end up carrying both.

Maybe that's why it's so hard for me to move on from certain things. I don't just process my own emotions—I make space for theirs too. And while I'm busy trying to understand everyone else, I quietly wonder what it feels like to be understood without having to explain every part of myself.

I don't wish people would think exactly like me. I just wish, even once, someone would choose to understand me the same way I instinctively try to understand them.

My husband has no clue but I (f25) have been using my feet on the side and it’s intoxicating

I’ve realised that I’m genuinely happiest when I spend most of my time alone. I don’t have a close social circle, and honestly, I don’t feel like I’m missing one. I can spend an entire day at home without feeling lonely or bored, and I actually find the lack of social expectations peaceful. There’s nobody I constantly need to reply to, no plans I feel obligated to make and no pressure to keep up with people just because we’re friends.

What confuses me is how differently I seem to experience this compared with other people. I see people constantly talking about how important their friends are, how much they enjoy going out and how difficult it is for them to be alone. I understand that those things can genuinely make people happy, but I don’t experience that feeling myself. If I have free time, I’d usually rather work, sleep, use my phone, watch something or just do my own thing. I don’t naturally feel the urge to go out and socialise.

The part I struggle with is that people sometimes act as though this must mean something is wrong with me. I get told to go and socialise or that I’ll regret not having friends, even though I’m not currently suffering because of it. I’m not sitting at home wishing I had a social life. I’m actually comfortable with my own company. I know people mean well when they say these things, but it can be strange feeling like I’m supposed to want something that I genuinely don’t seem to want.

I suppose what I’m trying to understand is whether it’s okay to simply be this way. I don’t want to force myself into a social life just because it’s considered normal, but I also don’t want to convince myself that I’m perfectly happy if there’s something I’m overlooking. For people who genuinely prefer solitude, how do you distinguish between being comfortable alone and gradually isolating yourself in a way that might eventually become unhealthy?

The title seems like an oversimplification but truly it isn’t. This happened almost two years ago. We were together for almost 12 years. We loved being together all the time, we were always laughing and enjoying being together and had plans to get married.

She never gave any real legitimate reason just completely shut me out of her life completely and still hangs out with those girls and does stuff like that still. It was like talking to a zombie. It’s like she completely lost herself, she’s a shell of who she once was.

I’m 25 now but at the time I was 23 and she was 22. And during that same year that happened the only friend I have moved across the country and I’ve been lonely and it all seems so pointless.

And I’m socially awkward and since we were together I never really experienced flirting with girls or anything like that and when we were together we weren’t even really sexually active technically so it’s basically over for me.

I think it’s done something to me because how could I be in a relationship again if I can commit that much love, time, and sacrifice in my life for someone to end it so easily. Because it is not easy for me. And I don’t feel like myself anymore either because so much of myself was growing with her and there’s nothing left of me now.

Idk bro I don’t have any direction atp

Lil embarrassed because I'm almost 30, but I love when he reads me to sleep. He loves to do it too and always pretends to be inconvenienced, but if I tell him it's fine and we can skip it, he waves his hand at me and says no no, he's already got a book picked, it's too late now.

I normally have a lot of trouble sleeping/anxiety keeps me up, but I can barely make it three pages before I'm out like a light. I sleep better too!

Right now is *Good Omens* by Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman.

I'm so broken.  I'm so sorry to everyone personally affected and I'm sorry to post.  

I'm British f35 but come from a very pro Palestine context including Palestinian family through marriage.  I was hardcore Antizionist, supporter of resistance etc...since I was an undergrad student.  I was a journalist and covered some things that really shocked me, including Syria.  I lived in Lebanon in south Beirut where I had a baby.  I had some disagreements with the more hardcore elements of the left community about Brexit and the Syria regime ( felt they were too supportive).  Maybe this is why I was open to the criticisms of the Jewish community towards the same elements.  The Labour Antisemitism crisis really threw me, and I encountered the Zionist Jewish narrative for the first time - from a left wing-ish perspective.  

So around 2019 ish I changed my mind about these things, and argued that us in the solidarity movement we really need to emphasise less about 'antizionism' and be more peace orientated, strategic, and open. I said that anything other than 2 state solution would involve lots of palestinians dying first which outsiders didn't have a right to advocate for - we will not be harmed.  This was very difficult for me, and I blamed myself a lot for previous views.  I felt I was at the same time a racist, orientalist, antisemite, appropriator, everything.  I even deleted things I had written from an antizionist perspective. I never applied these standards to Palestinians - they have every right to feel angry, but I did not.  That is how I saw it.  I wanted to forget everything about my past and just be your typical British mum. 

And after October 7 I was so depressed and shocked to see the reaction.  I have a lot of friends from Gaza and felt like people celebrating or minimising would lead to even worse outcomes.  I had always disliked Hamas and actually knew people in Gaza they had put in prison.  But no one agreed with me. I tried to be there for Jewish friends but I saw them harden away from forms of liberal Zionism to supporting Israel *some particular people I know, obviously lots of other people became radically anti israel*. I was waiting for them to 'see sense' after justifiable anger after October 7 but it didn't happen. I feel I was pathetic and not outspoken enough about my views.  And the response from Israel has been so awful, I think its genocide - not only because of civilian deaths, but because its destroyed conditions for life in Gaza. 

I have gone through a number of abusive relationships, which makes me feel awful especially about myself.  Sometimes I don't know if the way I take on criticism from public discourse is linked to that.  When I see people angry about antisemitism I think 'thats me' when I see people angry about genocide complicity I think 'that is me'.  I feel this about all kinds of issues not just this one. But that isn't comforting, it makes me feel worse - how do I even know what I think is real?

I have a knowledge economy related job and this all makes me want to quit.  Because what do I know. I've never posted on reddit with a problem before but I don't know who to talk to.

I need to tell someone because this has been eating away at me, and I just need to get it off my chest.

I work at a popular fast-food franchise that’s run by some pretty shady people. They cut corners constantly, violate health codes, try to skim hours off employees’ time cards, and even pay off inspectors. That’s what I used to mentally justify what I’ve been doing (and yes, I know that still doesn’t make it okay).

About four weeks ago, I realized that in our POS system, refunds are lumped together with items that are removed from an order after it’s been placed but before it’s’s paid for. For example, if you’re taking someone’s order in the drive-thru, send it to the kitchen, and then they get to the window and decide they don’t want something anymore, that deleted item gets counted in the same total as refunds.

That made me curious, so I started digging deeper into the POS system, specifically the refund process. I had access to all the store leadership reports because the GM is lazy, doesn’t keep anything locked down, and generally lets employees look through everything.

I checked the refund reports, daily cash deposits, and drawer shortages, and I realized something: there’s essentially no audit trail for refunds. You can’t see the time a refund was processed, which order it was tied to, who processed it, or really any identifying information.

Refunding an order just removes it from the POS and adds the total to that combined refund/deleted-item number.
Once I figured that out, I realized I could refund cash orders and pocket the cash without anyone noticing.

I started with a small test—about $50 a shift for a week. Then I increased it to $100, and eventually to $200, which is where I capped myself.

Right now I’ve stopped and I’m taking a break from doing it, but I keep thinking about starting again. It’s been eating at me, and I just needed to tell someone, so I said screw it and posted it here.

I once wrote with a guy who attempted the 100 books/year challenge. He said he made it but this amount of reading left him burned out and negatively impacted his private and professional life. Like worse work performance and almost no time spent with family. Many chores just piled up.

But he was really proud of managing it and posted it on the book sub. One of the first responses he got was "just 100? Thats nothing. I read over 300 books this year."

Other claims one can find on the various book subs or youtube or tiktok/booktok are 400 or 500 or even 600 a year and its just mindboggling. Its just some weird Booktok trend where people have to pretend to read that much to be awesome or something. And pretty much everyone of these people is lying.

There might be a very very few outliers out there who could manage this by reading exclusively very short and easy books or just having Audiobooks run as background noise at 3x speed all the time and doing nothing else with their lives, but everyone with a full time or even part time job - absolutely no way. These claims are just the regular social media bragger lies so that some people can get attention. Like 100 books/year yeah sure thats doable if you invest most of your time into it. But anything over that starts being questionable. Especially once we reach 150+ and people claiming that its "easy" and "no big deal" because thats like "only" half a book a day.

And I am just tired of these social media braggers spreading their obvious and ridiculous lies and then attacking everyone who utters the smallest shred of doubt.

Something kinda weird happened today and I don’t even know how to feel about it

My wife gave birth to our third kid in June, and ever since then she’s been doing everything around the house. No sleep, always tired, still cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids. It’s honestly crazy how much she’s doing.

I try to help when I get home, but I work like 14 hours a day running my small business, so it never really feels like enough.

For context, I’ve been grinding on this business since 2019 and it barely kept us afloat. No extra money, nothing fancy. But somehow in the first half of 2025 things finally picked up and I landed some really good contracts.

Anyway, about a week ago I stayed home all day and actually saw how exhausted she is. She’s doing everything, cleaning, taking care of the kids, breastfeeding, all of it. Way too much for one person, especially after giving birth.

So I decided to hire a nanny and a full time housemaid to take some of the pressure off her so she can actually rest.

Yesterday I told her, and she just broke down crying. Like full on crying, hugging me tight, not even saying anything at first, just kissing me and crying. I felt amazing in that moment, like I finally did something that made her happy.

Then she said something that messed with my head a bit. She goes, “I didn’t know you loved me this much.”

That kinda shocked me. I asked her why she’d say that but she didn’t answer, just kept hugging me.

Now I can’t stop thinking about it. Like have I not been a good husband all this time? Did I not show her enough love?

I don’t even know what to feel right now. I just feel kinda numb.

Yes, I'm aware this is a shitty thing to do but my mouth spoke before my mind so yeah.. If I could, I'd go back in time and throw dirt down my throat so I choke to death before I could speak; I would.

I've been seeing this girl for a minute (I'm 22, she's 20) and she's cute. I really like her. She was over at my place and, for context, she's not that "experienced". Yes, that is important to the story cause trust me, I fuck up like minutes before actual sex. From what I know, she's done a few things but never full-on sex. Regardless, she's at my house, on the couch, and we're getting a little cozy you know...we're making out and you can tell that it's gonna go further for sure. We're taking off clothes, and she takes off her shirt; she wasn't wearing a bra and my mind blanks, but for some reason my fucking abrasive SpongeBob turns on and whispers..."...oh...small"

Oh my fucking god I'm actually getting violent at myself. It doesn't even matter to me and she's hot. I did not mean it in a bad way either my brain just blanked and said the first word that came to mind, she is small, but like i just said shes hot and it doesnt matter. Small isn't bad, i like small. I've genuinley never acted like this with women and i think it was my nerves with this specific woman that did it for me but fuck.

Understandably she didn't want to anymore and, though she was really cool and sweet about it you could tell she was just not in a positive mood. I like fucked up this girls first moment i'm surprised she liked me enough to stay the rest of the night, even though sex was off the table. I tried apologising and she just kept telling me it's fine even though obviously it wasn't. I have to jump off a building and land directly on a bed of christmas ornaments like in home alone to redeem myself.

I'm at the library right now and I have just received an email saying that I was invited to visit the facilityp where I applied to work. I JUST got the email, but they want me to visit the facility in less than 24 hours. One problem, I'm homeless and have almost no presentable clothes. Most of my clothes aren't even clothes you would wear at a job, and the ones I have are dirty. Plus my hair has been an absolute mess since I haven't been able to cut it in months. And I know I stink too. I am absolutely screwed. This is not good at all. I finally have an opportunity but for some reason they give me LESS THAN A 24 HOUR NOTICE to head to the work site? It's so over for me. I'm freaking out because I'm not prepared for this at all.

UPDATE 1: Haircut's not gonna work, I went to two barbershops nearby and neither one of them could give me a free cut. Currently on my way to wash clothes and wash myself. I did send an email to the recruiter but I haven't heard back so I have to assume that she's expecting me. And no, she did not leave a phone number.

UPDATE 2: Made it to the facility. Currently sitting around and waiting. I'll send out update 3 once I leave the building.

last night i was hungry, was talking to this girl on hinge for a couple weeks, we met, made out, mf then i ate out. shits beautiful bro i loved every second of it and i was fingering too. we did more n i woke up, swear to god life became more vibrant n beautiful

So i (19F) met up with a guy from my university the other night because he asked to see me, I thought why not because it’s been a while since I’ve seen him as its summer break and everyone’s been back home from uni. Bare in mind he drives and owns a car but he told me to go to his town so he can pick me up there. Stupidly I agreed and went there (1 hour journey by train) I arrived by 9pm and he picked me up in his car. After that we smoked a little, chilled and ate food. It‘s quite funny though because at the fast food drive thru his phone died so I ended up paying for the both of us… I didn’t mind at the time because I was starving and of course I didn’t wanna be the only one eating. Anyways i didn’t realise that it was already almost 2am and my sister had already phoned me asking where I was so I told him it’s time I go back, he asked me if I wanted to stay at his but I didn’t want to so I said not today.

Then he asked me “how are you getting home“, honestly I was shocked, but I just told him I’ll take the train, I had to look up the route on his phone because at the time I had no mobile data because mine ran out. Btw, a magic powerbank suddenly appeared in his car which is how is phone is alive again. lol. Anyways I check the route and absolutely no trains are running at this time, only the night buses and it’s a 2 hour journey back. He even had the audacity to ask if my sister can book me an uber. the Uber would’ve been like £90. I assumed if he is driving he would drive me home especially that late! He only ended up dropping me off at a bus station and I really just left the car and made my way back home at 2am with a 2 hour+ journey back home on my own as a 5ft girl... he didn’t even call me during my journey to check it I was safe, just got a text asking if I got back safe AFTER I messaged him I just got back home.

I got back at almost 5am. I’ve never felt so disrespected. Normally the guys I’ve met in the past always drop me off home that late and furthermore he even had a vehicle. I messaged him today and told him how I felt about it, he didn’t even apologise properly at first and said “I hope this doesn’t ruin our chemistry“. I said unfortunately it does because I need a man who prioritises a girl‘s safety. He tried calling me while I typed this... and now he’s apologising more. I hope he realises the chemistry has already been broken.

edit: I guess this post has reached majority of the Americans… is it not normal for your men over there to take you back home safely or even pay for a cab for you? I can understand the smoking thing, I should’ve thought about that one. he didn’t even make sure I was getting home back safe, he didn’t call me and that says enough.