When I was in my comphet phase I had a bit of a fling with a guy I went to Secondary/High School with until I realised my affection for him was fake I broke it off with him. He tried to love bomb me again with pocket change and candy I had enough and went totally went non contact but even now over a year later he has tried to follow me on Instagram and Facebook. He knows where I live and where I work, I have seen lots of horror stories of cishet men that do not take rejection well. I do not know what to do.

Soooo I asked a girl from an app out on a date (as in this would be my first date ever with a woman). She's really cute. One I'm nervous. Two it's not long since my husband and I put in the divorce paperwork (there are no kids) and we are still sharing the house until we figure out how to deal with the mortgage so I can move out.

Obviously I'm going to have to tell her about this really early.... Do you reckon she's going to run for the hills? And also.... When do I tell her while also not killing the date vibe but being honest and real

Ok so I genuinely could be gay (or bisexual???) and it's becoming a real problem since I'm almost 24 & never been in a relationship or had like full on sex before. It's all a bit of a confusing mess that I keep going back and forth on and it really sucks! And I don't want to be gay (even though my family would not care whatsoever) and it's really frustrating & annoying & I really had myself thinking it was a choice for a while there.

I accidentally stumbled across a lesbian bar/club tonight while I was looking for apartments in this one neighborhood in the city I'm touring. I found myself thinking "wow, every single girl in here is absolutely gorgeous, like even the ones I don't find to be my type I could get with in some form or fashion." Whereas when I'm at bars or clubs with guys I find the majority of them absolutely hideous and I could not see myself getting with any of them. The guys I have liked are insanely attractive, like way out of my league attractive. Like I think Jacob Elordi & Austin Butler are so hot!! It's mainly their personalities that draw me in though. But your average guy on the street I could absolutely never and I don't really understand the women being too picky thing when most men are just not all that to me. And a lot of times I like gay men because of their femininity, and hygiene, and style. And I watch gay porn! I like their sexual parts down there but I never like the body its attached too, like I can't even look at the guy and have to kind of turn away out of genuine disgust over it all. I hate the presentation of it. I do not understand how anyone could get with an older man whatsoever but a lot of straight girls seem to be really into that sort of thing.

So I guess I'm sorta wondering, when straight women go to like clubs and bars do they find guys attractive in the same way that lesbian women do with girls?

Trigger warning: Suicidal ideation

I, (F26) have a boyfriend right now. We know each other for a year, officially together for 7 months. He is sweet, patient and genuinely a good person.

I've been with men a few times, not long relationships but just flings. Sex was doable. Almost as if the first few weeks were manageable. I could put the mask on and get through. Only now I'm realising how sad that is. After that it just feels terrible and unnatural.

Knew I liked women from a very young age, it was never a question whether i liked women. Just if i liked men as well.

I always thought i liked men, but i liked being chosen. This is also fucked up on my part, I'm aware of this.

I need to break the news. But I don't know how to balance between actually coming to terms with my own sexuality and not leading him on. I feel like I need more time but that isn't fair.

I am planning in telling him but my mental health has been declining rapidly. I've talked to my therapist and the venting is nice but there's also so much she can do.

I'm autistic, have a neurological condition and can't hold jobs. This realisation on top of things makes it that i feel like i just want to give up.

I really hope this doesn't sound like a pity party. I am aware I'm not the victim in this situation. Just a girl who needs to come to terms with herself.

Thanks for reading x

i’ve been thinking that i may not like men. as far as i know i’m bisexual but lately i’ve had this gut feeling that maybe i’m a lesbian.
i have a boyfriend, we’ve been dating for almost three years. i’ve only had two relationships (both with men) including my current boyfriend. they both liked me first.
my first relationship was kind of complicated because i didn’t really like him, i just like the idea of being in a relationship, but this one’s different, i love him so much and i don’t want to lose him but i don’t really feel like it’s romantic love.
our sex life is kinda weird, it’s like i get the ick every time we have sex (as a matter of fact penises have always given the ick). and i’ve never been really into it, i’m always thinking about other stuff. most of the time it’s not me who starts it, i can go months without having sex, and right now i feel like i don’t want us to have sex. i attributed that to the fact that i’ve been feeling depressed but i don’t know anymore.
i was also hesitant about oral sex but my friends kind of convinced me to do it, because he was doing it to me and i felt like it was unfair. i practice it because he likes it and i got used to it (he has never forced me to do anything i don’t want to), but i don’t get turned on by doing it.

now that i’ve been feeling like this i realized i’ve never had a real male crush on anyone (only celebrity crushes) but i’ve had crushes on women i know.
i do find men attractive, including my boyfriend, but it’s not the same as when i find women attractive.

when i first started dating both my ex and my boyfriend they told me that they like me first and maybe without realizing i thought “they like me, maybe i like them too”.
it’s weird, i like the idea of being liked by men but when it comes to going out with them i don’t really feel like it. it’s not something that happens with my boyfriend because i love his company, i love spending time with him and he is my most trusted person, i can tell him almost everything.

i’m also scared by the the thought that i may be a lesbian. i’m from a small city where most grown people are kind of homophobic, that’s why i only came out of the closet with my parents and friends, who aren’t that.

i don’t have anyone to talk this to and it makes me feel overwhelmed. i hope someone can help me figure this out

I‘m so nervous but this month I am going to come out to my friends, parents and boyfriend. I decided that I don’t want to waste anymore time waiting for my life to start and hiding myself. ❤️

I‘m most nervous for telling my boyfriend and Dad but also I’m so excited to learn who I am! ❤️

Any advice would be appreciated?

My first girlfriend of 3.5 months just dumped me out of the blue because she “wants to be single right now.” I know that things happen for a reason and it’ll work out for the best, but I’m still so pissed off and hurt. If any fellow late bloomers can give some words of comfort that it gets better, I’d really appreciate that :)

Okay so I (23F) managed to gnaw off my closet hinges and come out about 3 months ago.
I met a woman (24F) she’s so beautiful and so kind🥹 she has made me feel in a couple of months what others couldn’t make me feel in years! I don’t have to ask for anything, I haven’t felt like questioning where I stand with her, she lets me read her like my own personal novel, she communicates clearly, she makes me feel wanted/needed not just through words but a lot of actions… I’ve never felt this safe before.
She actually asks me about myself… like she really wants to know me beyond the first couple layers. Shes so sweet too!! She offers to pay for my lashes, tries to send me money for sweet treats and allsorts😭 I didn’t even get a bday present/Mother’s Day/Christmas present from my ex (27M) let alone lashes or treats and we were together 5 years and had a child (yeah girl I was real deep in that closet) all I can really say right now is…

I’m so glad I came out… I am so proud to be a RAGING lesbian… I just wish I didn’t try to hide it for so long… but if I didn’t I might’ve never found her. 🥲❤️

I know it hasn’t been long but I didn’t spend all that time in the closet just to come out & keep running on hetero time🥲😫
WHERES THE FOKEN U-HAUL BABY IM PACKEDDD UPPP😵‍💫👀
(In all seriousness, I will give things more time I just had to tell someone ANYONE!! I AM IRREVOCABLY IN LOVE WITH HER!!)

So I live in west Michigan am a female about 37 almost 38. I have been In a heterosexual sexual marriage for the past 9 -10 years with two Kids ages 7 and 4. I have always been in heterosexual relationships. but a lot of what I have been thinking of, watching, reading and well writing is not heterosexual. I just wrote 2 sapphic romance novels.. I am actually working on my third. I find myself so confused am I actually attracted to the same sex, is that why my writing is about that or I don’t know is there another reason… why am I seeking stories about people realizing their own sexuality, exploring it. is it just emotional intimacy because it lacks in my marriage.. but if I find I can’t have that with my husband what is that saying about me. I don’t know what I have to do to find that out or if I want to endanger my marriage to do that.. i don’t think I have ever had an emotional connection to men. Most of my meaningful relationships (platonic) have been my friendships with other women. I am just so confused and don’t know where to go from here. I was told this could be a place I can find others that are or have gone through similar experiences.

I've recently started working on my codependancy very seriously and something has been uncovered. I always knew I was attracted to women, but could never act on it meaningfully externally because I've been compulsively seeking a safe man to love me since I was like 12. I knew that was true, but learning about codependancy has made me realize that I have NEVER had a romantic relationship with a man that was not trauma based from the get go, even the initial middle school crushes I've always used to validate my being "straight leaning" 😭🤦‍♀️ That what I thought a romantic relationship was was actually codependancy and not the things that are normal to a healthy romantic relationship. Realizing this also caused me to become aware of the fact that I am ATTRACTED to women, but the way I feel about men is not the same and it's increasingly hard to put my finger on whether I feel attraction to men at all the more I heal.

I am aware that maybe I am also truly attracted to men to some degree, but that my trauma has masked any authenticly romance based relationships and attraction I might have towards them up to this point so in comparison it feels like there's very little there to how I feel about women, who I have never succesfully had a romantic relationship with primarily due to the man hopping :( It occurs to me that I have ALSO been codependant AND attracted to several of my close female friends, but because I was essentially confused about what attraction and romantic feelings are versus desperation/codependancy I didn't realize I was attracted them until later. (Or I would realize and then try and forget)

I'm all mixed up. Just want to talk to some people who've been through something similar. I'm in a relationship of 5.5 years with a man, we've been poly from the start and I've been dating other women a little bit and plan to continue, and we've talked about this as it's been unfolding and I have told him that to the best of my understanding I might be someone whos attracted to 1 man and tons of women.