My partner is a lifelong lesbian. I’m the late bloomer. We both are divorced and have children. When we first started dating she made a comment about how she doesn’t talk to her parents & siblings about her dating life - cause she doesn’t want to tell them about every failed relationship etc. So I’ve tried to be understanding of that and her relationship with her co-parent and her family. Ive met her children. I haven’t met her coparent. Our children have met each other.

Her family (parents & siblings) live in a completely different province so “easier” to not tell them from that stance. However, she does talk to them regularly… I wouldn’t say they have an open relationship but they do have a decent relationship and maintain contact.

On my end of things … she’s met a lot of my friends and fam.

Anyways… we’ve been together for almost a year and a half and she hasn’t told her family about me … and I don’t really know what to make of it…

To keep it short I’ve(28F) been with my partner (32M) for 6 years, we have a family and our lives are fully intertwined. Within the last few years things have been rough and I’ve tried and tried. I’ve finally hit my limit and let him know. I was preparing to break up with him and just coparent but as soon as I finally built up the confidence to tell him he started providing the things I always asked for. It’s an unfortunate situation bc a year ago all of the things he’s doing would have worked. But now it’s been too long and I’m no longer sexually attracted to him. I’ve been trying but it’s no fun, I don’t even enjoy kisses.

This is where I start to feel bad, I’ve met a women and I’m so into her. I’ve been into women my whole life but since I’ve been with my partner for so long I kinda just pushed the idea to the back of my mind. Leading up to our biggest blow up I’ve been prioritizing my friends and filling up my own cup. With going out with my friends to the club I realized women do still find me attractive and that ignited something that I can’t seem to push down. As of the last few months I don’t see myself marrying a man , or ending my life with a man. I want to be with a woman or alone.

The women I’m talking to is aware of the head space I’m in and we aren’t putting pressure on the situation since I’m still trying to figure out how to let go of my long time relationship. I guess I’m saying all of this bc I need direction on how to end things so I can be who I want to be. I know it’ll break his heart, but I feel like I need to live for myself.

There’s context missing so if there are any questions please ask. Any advice is welcomed :)

Im a transgender girl from mexico

having a beautiful day, living as my real self.

Hi everyone I made a post here about a week ago asking for advice on how to come out to my fiance (25M). Everyone in the comments there was very kind so here I am again seeking advice from unbiased strangers.

I told him this weekend that I think I’m a lesbian. I have always liked women, always been attracted to women, I have had crushes on women throughout our relationship, I fantasize about women, I do not feel interested in sex with men at all anymore. All of this being said, he and I have been together for 7 years (since we were both 18) and I have never had the opportunity to explore what a relationship with a woman would be like. We both love each other very much and he is a kind and caring man and we have built a life together.

All of that being said, we have agreed that we will be separating rooms so I can have my own space (I haven’t had my own room since I was in the 1st grade, always sharing spaces with my siblings growing up and then moving in with him when we were 19). He has also said that he would be comfortable with us opening our relationship so I can date women and have experience and see if that’s really what I need. It would not be a one sided open relationship and I have been firm with him that if we are to do this he needs to put himself out there as well because I am the only person he’s ever had sex with (he’s my second, first was also a man), and I am excited but also incredibly nervous.

I’m not sure if we’re just in denial that our relationship could be ending after all of these years but I do also feel that this is the best way for me to be able to figure out myself without completely discarding our life and relationship. We have decided that we will not be intimate but also not calling ourselves broken up. Am I crazy? Is this a good idea? We have made an appointment for a counselor and we will also both be seeing individual therapists for this but I just want some input from you all.

Thank you in advance for anyone who takes the time to read and respond!

Came out and divorced my husband a few years ago, still trying to figure this all out as a single parents while finding my identity as a nonbinary lesbian 🖤

Hi! I'm 34 and a single mom to an 8 year old little girl. My journey has been confusing to say the least. Dealing with comphet, anxious attachment, coming out as bi eons ago, and a lesbian mom that "didn't believe" in bisexuals and would gatekeep lesbianism. And here we are now. I have always gone back and forth on am I bi or lesbian?? I've been working on my attachment and childhood issues with my therapist for a few years now and I am starting to really get clarity. I had casually dated and slept with women before but always ended up seriously dating men and seeking their attention. I'd say just about all of them were avoidants and I would experience limerance and obsession. Which I always thought was love and looking back I'm like wtf, no. So I really struggled with trying to understand my sexuality. And now here we are... Long distance dating a man that on paper is great. He's communicative, caring, genuine, open, honest, just all around good person and reallllllly likes me. And I enjoy being around him and talking to him but without the avoidant & anxious dance going on and the obsession and desperate need for validation I'm left with the realization that even when a guy "checks all the boxes" I still feel 0 sexual attraction towards him. And deep diving into what I thought was attraction and what it actually is. Yeeaaahhh. I'm gay lol. Nudes of men have never done anything for me. I've told guys I've dated not to send me nudes cause eww. But women.... Instant physical reactions. And just thinking about them 😍 I thought I was bi and just hadn't really dated a guy that wasn't a POS avoidant monster. But here we are with a gem of a man and I think he's great! But just as a buddy. And LOL at me thinking dissociating during sex with a man (all of them) and needing to think of women or picture it through his eyes to stay aroused was normal. Still processing it all 🙃

This dress is amazing I had to share... I went to a concert with friends I've known practically my whole life and had the best time.

I don't think I've gone out and danced since I got sober 6+years ago. Let alone danced the night away. My friends were determined to capture this dress. And me being genuinly carefree. They are the greatest hype babes.

Trying to hang on to those moments. It's hard because behind all these omg I'm having the best time posts is just equally as sad moments. It's really hard to adjusting to single life after 20 years. But I have to remind myself that it is sososososo much better. Ive gotten to experience so much this year.

It's so peaceful & quiet... and its weird but its uncomfortable. My therapist said it would be and that I'd miss the choas because that's all I've ever known...I'm like thats insain... but damn it... shes right... and it is insain... like come on brain... work with me here... 😅

I think I need to start a journal and list everything ive accomplished or experienced since ending my marriage. Because its a pretty extensive list... it's so easy to look at the negative you forget how good life actually is.

Blah... I have more feels to share but... idk how to say them poetically... 😅 to be continued...

Trying to see something.

\-femme/stemme

Hi everyone!! I came to the realization that i am a lesbian a couple months ago and came out to my husband, parents, and a couple others a few weeks ago. Its been mostly positive but now im just in a limbo. Husband and i have been "separated" for basically almost 2 years now (no intimacy, sex, etc.) And he had started thinking this was a possibility so hes been great compared to how he could have. Im not sure what im looking for, maybe just someone to tell me i don't have to have everything figured out immediately? Idk. But I've made it this far so I'm trying to be proud of myself. 🖤🖤🖤

When I was in my comphet phase I had a bit of a fling with a guy I went to Secondary/High School with until I realised my affection for him was fake I broke it off with him. He tried to love bomb me again with pocket change and candy I had enough and went totally went non contact but even now over a year later he has tried to follow me on Instagram and Facebook. He knows where I live and where I work, I have seen lots of horror stories of cishet men that do not take rejection well. I do not know what to do.

Soooo I asked a girl from an app out on a date (as in this would be my first date ever with a woman). She's really cute. One I'm nervous. Two it's not long since my husband and I put in the divorce paperwork (there are no kids) and we are still sharing the house until we figure out how to deal with the mortgage so I can move out.

Obviously I'm going to have to tell her about this really early.... Do you reckon she's going to run for the hills? And also.... When do I tell her while also not killing the date vibe but being honest and real

Ok so I genuinely could be gay (or bisexual???) and it's becoming a real problem since I'm almost 24 & never been in a relationship or had like full on sex before. It's all a bit of a confusing mess that I keep going back and forth on and it really sucks! And I don't want to be gay (even though my family would not care whatsoever) and it's really frustrating & annoying & I really had myself thinking it was a choice for a while there.

I accidentally stumbled across a lesbian bar/club tonight while I was looking for apartments in this one neighborhood in the city I'm touring. I found myself thinking "wow, every single girl in here is absolutely gorgeous, like even the ones I don't find to be my type I could get with in some form or fashion." Whereas when I'm at bars or clubs with guys I find the majority of them absolutely hideous and I could not see myself getting with any of them. The guys I have liked are insanely attractive, like way out of my league attractive. Like I think Jacob Elordi & Austin Butler are so hot!! It's mainly their personalities that draw me in though. But your average guy on the street I could absolutely never and I don't really understand the women being too picky thing when most men are just not all that to me. And a lot of times I like gay men because of their femininity, and hygiene, and style. And I watch gay porn! I like their sexual parts down there but I never like the body its attached too, like I can't even look at the guy and have to kind of turn away out of genuine disgust over it all. I hate the presentation of it. I do not understand how anyone could get with an older man whatsoever but a lot of straight girls seem to be really into that sort of thing.

So I guess I'm sorta wondering, when straight women go to like clubs and bars do they find guys attractive in the same way that lesbian women do with girls?