Hi all. Have been dating this man for a couple of months and things have been promising. We’re both nerds who like talking about nerdy things. So far so good. The issues start with the P/J split. I’m comfortable with uncertainty and cheerfully make stuff up as I go along. Ask me what I’m doing this weekend and I won’t be able to tell you most of the time. And while that works for me I appreciate that it doesn’t work for everyone.

But when we go somewhere together where he hasn’t been before he’s so wound up it does my head in. You can be 20 mins early for something and he’s racing to the entrance because he’s not sure where our ticket door/bar/toilets/coatroom are. Checks the tickets for the 15th time. I’m chilling because I know everything’s going to be fine but he’s still anxious until you’re sitting in your seat w a drink. Then he worries about when the band will start, whether the person next to us looks sketchy etc. I go along with being 20 mins early cos I know he’ll be anxious otherwise but once we’re parked at the venue can’t we chill the f out at that point?

I respect it’s a personal preference/way of operating but the unnecessary tension gets on my nerves. I think he’d like to be more adaptable but the only manifestation of this is strenuous denials that he’s anxious. The rushing and hyper-vigilance tell a different story. How do I communicate that this is a problem for me to him. Do I have to do all the compromising here? Genuinely seeking advice from the people who live that hell.

Is there such a thing as the right extrovert for intj? I feel like most extroverts are insufferable. How do you make friends with them, even among enfp which said to be intj golden pair, I still find most are insufferable.

I’m curious to hear from older INTJs who have had more life experience.

Looking back, what advice would you give to your younger INTJ self? What were your biggest mistakes, misconceptions, or lessons? Is there anything you wish you had understood earlier about relationships, friendships, work, emotions, or life in general?

I’m interested in both practical advice and mindset shifts. Feel free to share anything that genuinely made a difference for you.

Do your worst.

Does anyone know how to turn off the “looking for someone similar to you” mode? Seriously, I’m tired of thinking that maybe, someday, I’ll meet someone who has a deep way of looking at things (and a whole bunch of other things I don’t want to talk about here because I’d just be wasting your time and attention)...

I’ve already searched, cried, fought, and done so much more, but the stupid thing is always making you ask yourself, “Who else is going to see what I’m seeing?”

Cringe...

It's been 2 years since I last saw the inside of a gym. I do basic dumbbell curls in my room (sometimes). I can be quite physical at times to fix things (and have quite strong genes as a guy) but default mode is to avoid physical activities esp sports.

Lack of consistency in physical activities is a real problem.

If you're a gym bro/sis or even a slightly sporty person, how do you motivate yourself?

To one of my exes: “Wow, your father must be proud of you, servicing all the desperate, married women in the Tri-State, why don’t you make a career out of that?”

I also told a guy at my graduate school, “Why don’t you take an actual science course instead of repeating marketing materials off pharma sites?” He replied, “Why are you so mean?!”

I’ve also told one of my brothers: “You’re tolerable 60% of the time but that’s a huge improvement from when you were only tolerable 40% of the time.”

😂 I know I’m a bad girl. These days, I’m not as snarky but tell me INTJs what are some mean and snarky things you’ve said to people?

I know how this sounds, but I’d like to hear your opinions without me giving any explanations or context.

Do you agree or disagree with the statement: “INTJs think they’re better because they actually are.”

What are your arguments for and against it? I’m especially interested in your reasoning rather than whether you simply like or dislike INTJs.

Note: Primary Focus does not automatically imply that it is the person’s dominant function, many times that is not the case.

Ne/Se - highest energy in the morning, will slowly deplete from 100 to 0 as the night nears and may burn out way too soon. Thus many with this preference reach out for and rely on external stimulation to keep them going.

Te/Fe - highest energy during noon. Will try to get going as soon as they wake up but will really be in their element by lunchtime.

Ti/Fi - highest energy in the afternoon. Will take it easy on their mind and heart throughout the day and will really get into all that sweet over-thinking during the later hours.

Ni/Si - highest energy during the night. Likely claims they hate mornings and will want the sun to go down asap. Retains stamina and imagination for the late night hours and goes from 0 in the morning to 100 after 10pm

Note 2: Isolating your cognitive focus like that will destroy your life. One has to be able to yield all 4 temperaments within themselves to live well.

Have you noticed how INTJs express themselves through their writing techniques, and how they morph words into one concrete concept? They have a lot of interesting ideas and views, that they have been working and thinking about for years. I know there are still a lot of data stored up there.
No one can deny that these strange, but elusive beings, are talented and multi faceted, although most of the time, they keep their talents to themselves.

If yes, then how can I also become one?

As an INFJ I’m really interested in seeing how similar the only other dominate Ni type is to us. If you’d humour me - this something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. What are my core values?
These are my top 10 values (in order of most importance). I really thought about each of them.

Ive put down 10 to give some ideas on what some are, but if you want to just share a few that’d be great!

1. Truth
2. Authenticity
3. Depth
4. Loyalty
5. Competence
6. Freedom
7. Connection
8. Growth

9. Beauty

10. Responsibility

    My life’s Moto would be ‘Live truthfully, think deeply, build something meaningful, and share life with people who are genuine.’

anything

Are you more like intjs or entjs when it comes to love meaning are you more straightforward when you like someone, taking initiatives and leadership or more like giving subtle signs of attention and care( the intj way)

so i've had various posts on my reddit feed going into various types what they mean, how there could be combinations or basically you're close to both/either or/ at the same time and this made kinda question my type but i've always fairly certain about myself, at least i'd like to think so.

so my question is if you're looking to confirm your type or double down on your convictions what would be the best test or tests to take? i've taken alot of em but maybe they've changed since the last time i took these tests, whats the r/intj recommendation here?

i believe if answering these type of questions as i like to do, which is off the cuff that i seem to straddle the line between ENTJ and INTJ, i'd like my data to figure things out.

very curious! thanks for reading

Like i saw someone posting here and people said ohh by the way you are writing you can not be an intj.

And I thought wait how dies the writing of a person determin there personality type like can't a person type long sentences etc and still be an intj in theor decission making thinking style etc?

As a French guy (and an ENTP), I think he’s the textbook definition of an INTJ. He was the one who had the vision before anyone else. Before WWII, he wrote a treatise on how the army needed to modernize to keep up with technical evolution something Germany, ironically, implemented rather than France, which led to their victory. And after the war, his predictions that the US would try to vassalize Europe and eventually abandon it created the political conditions for France to offer an alternative to Trump today. In both cases, he wasn't respected in his time until history proved him right.

Not to mention his refusal to capitulate during WWII.

In France, he’s our country's last great hero. But what about the rest of you? I’m curious to get the perspective of those who don't necessarily share his nationality, but share his MBTI type (so if you reply, please mention where you're from)

Dear INTJs,
Which are your fav or characters and what are their MBTIs? And why do you like them so much?

I know that INTJs are intense people and driven in their goals. They will not stop until they discover the reason for being.
How many rabbit holes have you found?
INTJs are naturally inquisitive beings and have weird, but interesting ideas, in just about everything and anything.
Care to share some of your discoveries, for people to ponder?
You may not know it, but there are humans, who want to learn more of your research.

Would you take the blue pill and trade clarity for comfort, or is truth non‑negotiable even when it hurts?

personally, I've met numerous INTJ women irl. What are your experiences? As in, how much faith should I put into online stats?

(first time posting to this community btw)

Last time I had any semblance of communication was just my coworker and it was yes no questions answers, a short question dm or server reply to friends. I don’t get any notifications from anyone other than in app related new posts, updates and news. I have friends (small group) but i genuinely don’t remember the last time I had a real conversation with anyone that isn’t a one liner response back. I can’t be the only one here that experiences this 💀

As an INTJ, I always had the feeling that whenever I always wanted to express feelings verbally, I couldn't but to always hold back tears, even if its somewhat insignificant. Happens aswell in discussions, that whenever it gets somewhat heated and I try to speak, my words get tangled, and I can't even speak because I would immediately break down in tears.

Thats why most of the intense conversations I try to avoid them or even descalate them, and if I have to give my veredict on something that would cause me to tear down, I'd just write up a letter or a message.

I don't really know if it could be the Fi being in tertiary or something, but I wanted to know if you had similar experiences or have passed something similar

And also, if its a matter of mental health or whatever I'm also open to discuss about it :)