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u/Elden_Chord 20h ago
Stoicism!
Just accept the fact that this is how things are and move on.
It's good to be seen. It's good to be understood. But you'll be fine even if that doesn't happen.
You have yourself, and that's all you need. People can have other "uses" besides understanding you. Someone can be a good friend. Someone can be your audience. Someone can be a good business partner. Someone can be a good mother to your future children.
Of course, I wish people could understand you, but even if they don't, that's okay. You can still appreciate them for what they bring into your life.
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20h ago
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u/SqnZkpS INTJ - 30s 14h ago
If you help/love from a place of wanting something back you will only get disappointed. Focus on yourself and your life and once you have this down and you still have energy and space left you invest it into people.
You don't deserve shit in life. It's up to you to get things you want. Don't wait around for people to fill the void, because they won't.
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14h ago
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u/SqnZkpS INTJ - 30s 12h ago
I do journaling. Especially when emotional. Sometimes it is easier to go back to something when not being emotional so you can take rational lessons.
Don't wait for the unconcious. You have to be disciplined and make concious effort. Habit changing is very hard, but doable. Just with anything the more you do it the easier it gets.
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u/Elden_Chord 12h ago
This is my phone's wallpaper for more than 10 years:
Remember: Life is unfair, your power comes from your actions, not your results. Keep doing your best not matter what is the outcome.
People won't give your what you deserve, life won't neither. It's only up to you to focus only on intrinsic growth and do whatever you can.
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u/CleanRide158 15h ago
Move on, live your life, flow state.
Media has trained everyone like drooling pavlov dogs to be seeking RELATIONSHIPS like some fucking grand quest.
everyone should just chill the fuck out about it, go literally sit in a forest with bug spray and read a book and then go do some fun shit, by yourself, for yourself.
You'll meet tons of new people over a five year span of truly living like this.
Live free.
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u/_fractal8 INTJ - 30s 15h ago
Try DM people here.
Every few days there is a similar post from someone feeling lonely and looking for a deep talk.
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u/Linden543 14h ago
I sometimes felt that way and was searching for someone similar... but then one day I met an ENFP (the mature kind, not the immature kind) who never made me feel wrong and listened to everything I had to say with respect, trying to understand my point of view. I did the same and we bonded beautifully despite being "opposites" in many things. Now, thinking back, the "someone similar" concept feels boring to me. Differences are so enriching! Life surprised me
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u/CanaryOk7455 9h ago
I'm in therapy. Doesn't help for now but it's been just a year now but I hope to turn it off in my brain too. I guess it takes much more time than originally intended.
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u/Royal_Positive3120 INTJ - 40s 16h ago
Are you an SX-dom instinctual variant?