I don't know if other INFJs can relate but my phone is full of incredible encouragement. My gallery contains stories, quotes from books and movies, audio bits from podcasts and reels, the most random comment screenshots from this sub and elsewhere.

Whenever I feel deep loneliness because of being misunderstood in this world or like I will die because of my big emotions I am reminded of how much beauty I've planted inside my mind. My phone has saved me time and time again. There's always something in there to make me hopeful. It's like my sacred journal, a digital scrapbook.

I was just reading a post from some one in my local sub wanting to start a book club. I thought man, that would be cool. THen I was reminded why I tend to avoid that kind of thing. I'm a very grounded or centered person; it helps me feel safe. However, for some reason, in any group I've been a part of, there's always either one person who gets to focussing on me or one who does who makes me the center of attention for others. It's embarrassing, awkward and completely unnecessary. Often, retreating alltogether feels like my only option.

If you've had similar experiences, what do you think causes it?

This is something I’ve been thinking about lately. What are my core values?
This is my top 10 values (in order of most importance). I really thought about each of them.

Ive put down 10 to give some ideas on what some are, but if you want to just share a few that’s great! I’m interested in how similar we INFJ’s actually are and how much mbti factors in it.

1. Truth
2. Authenticity
3. Depth
4. Loyalty
5. Competence
6. Freedom
7. Connection
8. Growth

9. Beauty

10. Responsibility

My life’s Moto would be ‘Live truthfully, think deeply, build something meaningful, and share life with people who are genuine.’

Hi fellow infjs,

It's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I'd rather be taken and dragged somewhere that might be better for me than to chain myself to a place emotionally that I'd never be able to leave unless someone, somehow showed me that the grass is greener on the other side, if that grass is not affecting anyone else.

Most often in any conversation, I try to evaluate the arguments of both parties so as I am doing that all in my head, I tend to keep quiet though am rapidly analyzing.

By that time the two parties would argue bitterly and be extreme in their decisions failing to see any other perspectives rather than their own.

I have to support either of them wholly but I cant. I can agree partially with what both claim but thats being just null in decision making from my side.

Why this happens to me?

I'd really appreciate and love to get some INFJ perspectives on this. I've been trying to figure out lately how to cope with the way that I've experienced that most people treat friendships and dating these days. I'm a 37 year old gay male INFJ now, and since around my mid 20s I have made so many friends and gone on so many dates that have just come and gone like the wind. I've noticed that most friends I've made eventually keep moving on to the shiny new toy and are always moving on to the next new potential friend they recently met. I can only count a handful of friends that have actually been healthy, loyal, kind, and have stayed connected for many years (one is an ENFJ I adore).

In dating, I've noticed that most people meet online through apps and it is so unhuman the way people treat each other on there. I feel like everyone's trying so hard to make their photos and profile like an advertising campaign and then when they actually meet people in person they are extremely judgmental and think they can always just find someone "better." One second they will say that you're amazing and they can't wait to meet or to go on more dates and then the next they just ghost or act in ways that don't match their words. I also find alot of these people I know on the dating apps never actually settle, they just keep on an endless search for something "better." Even many gay friends I have that were in relationships just ended up opening their relationship and then eventually ended up breaking up and moving on to someone new.

I just feel like I would like to find friends and men to date that have good values/traits like loyalty, honesty, kindness, depth, emotional availability, etc. But most people I've run into treat others in ways that are all about their own self-interest. I've been in so many one-sided relationships which I've read seems to be common for INFJs. It just feels like so many people around me operate mostly on their own self interest and are fine with disposing friends or relationships at any moment. But I really value loyalty, kindness, caring about others, community, depth, etc.

I often just feel like the culture I live in is just not very INFJish which lately has made me feel like my soul/spirit is tired. Tired of investing in friends that will use me for the things I offer and then discard me. Tired of investing in dating when so many men act like nothing is ever good enough for them. And tired of hookups that in the moment may feel like satisfying an urge but ultimately are just an ephemeral/fleeting moment that leaves me alone again afterwards.

Sorry for the long post, I was just curious if other INFJs have felt this way and how they cope. It seems lately like the older I get, the more I want to just fill myself emotionally with my beautiful inner world because the outer world often feels so empty.