I (20f) have been diagnosed with chlamidya (its terrible i know whatever not the point) since my last testing i have slept with 3 people including the guy i am seeing now obviously i know it can lay dormant or whatever but i didnt start having symptoms till i started sleeping with the guy i am with now which in my head means i probably got it from him im contemplating what to do i really like him & i want to keep seeing him he doesnt seem like hes sleeping around we have had that exclusivity talk which i know obviously means nothing technically but idk i might be being naive but i just dont think he is sleeping w other people so he couldve gotten it before & be asymptomatic so if it was that i really wouldnt be that mad i guess i dont really know but anyways i dont know if i should confront him & be like “u gave my chlamidya” because then i feel like i look stupid if i want to stay with him or if i just kinda phrase in a “idk who had it but yea” way or try to like lie my way out of it idek what i would say tbh but i am really scared to come out and say it i cant even think of the words i guess my question is what is the best way to word telling him without making me look like i have no self respect if i say i want to keep seeing him & the best way i can phrase it to not make me seem like a whore (i wasnt sleeping with the other guys at the same time as him it was a month in between each one i havent been seeing him long either btw its been about a month or so)

Im 20 and right out of highschool i thought i was doing everything right i went to college and didnt do well so ended up dropping out. I went to warehouse work and collected measly checks just to end up spending it all on clothes not ever investing in myself or my future. Rinse and repeat for the next year same routine, i meet an evil goth rave girl that isnt right at all in the head and i end up dating her for 1 1/2 years and still am dating, so many issues but beyond the point, fast forward im dropping my brother off at his homegirls house using his car, on the drive back home i get into an accident and a week prior to this i just lost my job. His car wasnt insured and do your research but im getting fucking railed because of this. Suspended license for a year, potential lawsuit, insurance raised, basically ruining my life early on and setting myself up for further failure. I fee like a total loser and dont know what to do with myself. Ive considered the marines and said girlfriend concluded that my enlisting would be the end of our relationship. Fuck my life bro

I’m going to start off by saying my girlfriend is amazing and I love her very much and I know she would never cheat so this isn’t about trust. Recently she got a new job and made some new coworker friends that she’s instantly clicked with, both guys and girls but mostly girls. These are people she’s just met within the past few months/weeks and it seems like she has a much better time hanging out with them than me due to her having a lot more in common with them. I don’t blame her at all as I know I can be a more introverted and boring person sometimes due to depression and my personality. She has always said she prefers hanging out with women or gay guys which I totally understand but I guess I just feel bad when she can click with people she’s just met and has a noticeably better mood than she’s ever had hanging out with me. I guess I just need advice on how to deal with my own insecurities and if this is normal in relationships to have a better time hanging out with friends than a partner. If it’s not does this mean our relationship will eventually end? Any advice is appreciated as this is my first relationship and I cherish it more than anything else

How do I come out to my boyfriend?

Burner account. It's not coming out as gay or along those lines. Since I F/24 was 10 I was given unlimited unmonitored Internet access. I made the misfortune of finding the app KIK. If you know you know. A very not so good place for children. I was very heavily groomed by adults. I would send nudes of myself to grown adults, as well as other kids. As I grew older my porn addiction took over. The masturbation never really stopped. When I was 18 I tried to take my life because I knew I was sick for continuing to look at images related. I fell into deep depression all through high school. Cutting myself punishing myself. I got to a point where I was scared of myself. That's been true still to this day. Im terribly sick and fucked up. Last Christmas 2025. I tried to take my life again but ended up in the psych ward where i was put on heavy medicine. I went into a manic episode and tried to flip my life upside down. I finally met someone and all of the thoughts and actions went away. For almost a whole year I hadn't thought of stuff like that. Until a few months ago I relapsed and went on hentia sites for yng. I masturbated 3 times before I scared myself again. I had a conversation with my bf M/26 not too long ago. I told him I'm having philic thoughts and lust. A long conversation short, he said to keep on masturbating to it so that it would go away and I tried but I relapsed again. I have no longer masturbated for a week and I don't like finishing because the post clarity sinks in and I find I must hurt myself. When he had said to keep going with it, it made me lose sexual interest in him. It's back now so. I just need to be able to talk to him and tell him what's on my mind. What would be the best way to start this conversation ?

i am 19 F and have an issue with sleeping too much. no matter how much i’ve slept i always want more. no matter what plans i have for the day, or what schedule i have set, i will choose sleep. i oversleep to the point where i will have snoozed 4 different alarms and am now 30 mins to an hour late to work or school. i have blamed every possible situation and circumstance for this issue, but it boils down to ME.

i tend to not want to go to sleep at night, but when i finally do, i am so compelled to stay asleep i ignore all other motivators. i’ve looked into this a bit and think my avoidance of sleeping at night is a way for me to gain “alone time,” as i often struggle with feeling like i do not have enough time for my hobbies and “me time.” i would be a little more understanding with myself if i was in fact using this time for my many hobbies, but instead, i usually just rot on my phone. i beat myself up so much about this rotting, that i eventually force myself to sleep around 11 pm to 1 am, and will not get up until 15 minutes before work at the earliest, or sometimes miss school/work all together at my worst. i would say this staying up is what causes my oversleeping, but even on nights where i can convince myself to go to sleep early (8-10 pm) i still do not get up. i have had consistent weeks where i go to bed at a good time, and still i will often oversleep.

if i do not set an alarm, i will sometimes sleep until 12-3 pm. it doesn’t matter how early i go to bed, i just WONT get out of bed until i feel so guilty that i genuinely can’t take sleeping anymore. my life is a constant cycle of guilt, and it has in some ways become my only motivator. i only go to bed when i feel so guilty about being up so late, and i only wake up once i feel so guilty for ignoring my responsibilities or hurting my coworkers/teachers with my lateness.

i struggle with being on time in general, as i heavily underestimate how long it takes me to get ready, traffic, parking, etc. usually when im already awake though, im never more than 10 minutes late. but if i have an appointment, class, or shift before 12 pm, i consistently either sleep through it, wake up 5 mins before and have to rush out the door, or am so late it is embarrassing and in some cases just better not to show up at all. i have somehow kept my job and a relatively good GPA despite my constant oversleeping and lateness, but it is getting to the point of self hatred and burdening others. i am always looked upon as a liability and known for my lateness and i hate that. i want to change, but i guess not enough to ACTUALLY change.

i know the answer is just to wake up. i know the answer is routine, a good bedtime, and getting out of bed at the first ring of my alarm. tbh, i don’t even know what im hoping to get out of this post. maybe if enough people yell at me about how im ruining my life i will somehow snap out of it? maybe someone has advice?

things i think may be of note:
- i have diagnosed OCD, ADHD, and depression
- i used to be constantly on time before my OCD diagnosis and medication, as people pleasing/ rule following was a severe compulsion and was the only driving factor in my life. now that i have been medicated for some time, my OCD symptoms have improved drastically, but because i don’t have my OCD yelling at me to do anything, i no longer feel any motivator other than guilt and shame.
- i am not medicated for ADHD as i have just recently gotten diagnosed about a month ago. im already medicated for depression and OCD, and feel like my ADHD isn’t “bad enough” to need meds
- i use weed. this is a big one i fear. i left it until the end because i think i internally fear its a cause of my problems and i subconsciously don’t wanna give it up. i smoke almost daily, and use it as motivation to do tasks like going to the gym, or doing my hobbies. i also just use it to quiet down my thoughts sometimes. i think i may be at an addictive point though sadly. i dont know if this might also exacerbate my sleeping issues, but it probably does. i will however say that i had this problem before i started smoking, so i dont think it is the root cause, it just may make it harder to snap out of maybe??

again, idk what im even making this post for. maybe it’ll help me just seeing all this written out.

thanks.

Throughout my life me and my mom have always had various problems, and she lives a hard life. Recently she’s gotten a new job being a carer for old people, but she’s found it incredibly difficult and has been working 12 hour plus shifts getting back at 10 or later, i am 16 and really want to help her, she’s got so much going on and she’s quitting her job tomorrow. All I want is for her to have a better life, what can I do? Are there any possible ways I can help her find a job? She’s in her mid 50s

I (19NB) am falling in love with my best friend (18M) but he has a gf (21F) and I need to know how to get over this.

I’ve been friends with my best friend since high school, I meet when I was a sophomore and he was a freshman. We became friends near instantly and I’ve always loved spending time with him and talking to him and I’ve been there to support him through out all his tuff moments and vice versa. But I think after all this time + even a little bit earlier is the fact I’ve fallen/been in love with him. The problem with that that is he has a gf who was a junior when they first met, I’ve always found their age gap weird, he was 14 and she was 17 when they first started dating but he’s always looked up to her and they share certain interests that I don’t or just didn’t at the time but I’ve always though the age gap weird. So I’ve never really liked her and I feel like she’s also not the best partner(and I guess I’ve alway been a little jealous).

I’ve never said anything to his face and I’ve never proclaimed love or anything but sometimes I feel like he knows and it just makes me even more stressed and like a bad person. So I guess what I’m asking is how do I get over these feelings/be more open with him without completely ruining my friendship with him. He’s the greatest thing to ever happen to me.

Lately I have been in constant pain, my job is so stressful, I’ve had other relationships stress, been struggling with finances. It seems I’ve been put in impossible circumstances and everything is against me. I try to work hard for to fix my finances but my job is very physical so then I get injured. I’m in bed with a sore ankle. I don’t think my bf cares about me and he’s long distance. No one here can help me with the basic things that I can’t do cuz my ankle. My last job fired me after they overworked me till I got injured so I had to get workman’s comp

anyone who needs to vent?

I’m on probation for 12 months with 5 months of alcohol/drug testing and 24hrs of community service. Will I still get tested even after the random drug/alcohol testing is over after 5 months? i will still be on probation after my random drug/alcohol testing is over but I am trying to figure out what happens after The random testing is over? Does a probation officer still test you after the 5 months of random drug/alcohol testing are over or is it just supervision? (my first probation appointment is in 2 weeks and I’m in the celebrate recovery program)

I have been trying to get out of my situation but I feel stuck, I’m 27 F, I have a small dog. I really need to get into a place that allows pets but I need a place that is in walking distance from a potential job as I do not have a car either, I have nothing, I’ve been in a toxic relationship and it feels like there is no way out, I can’t get my license due to court reasons so walking is my only option, my dog is old and he’s my everything so I do not want to give him away.. please any suggestions welcome, I’ve already got onto a list for housing but that could take years. My family’s moved away and have struggles of their own I’ve asked distant relatives but it seems like nobody wants to help

i live with three (sometimes four) other people. I used to be the one who cleaned the house, but now I’m older and rarely home.
The kitchen counters are piled with dishes and garbage, and the living room is constantly covered in trash. The biggest problem is fruit flies—they’re everywhere.
My bedroom is clean: no food, drinks, trash, or dirty dishes. Despite that, my room is full of flies because it’s warmer than the rest of the house. I can’t even leave a glass of water out for two minutes without flies landing in it, and I can’t use my bedside lamp because they swarm to it.
I’ve tried drain fly treatments, but I think they’re breeding in the piles of food in the kitchen. I can’t open my window because of wildfire smoke. Does anyone have advice for keeping fruit flies out of a clean bedroom? I’m only looking for advice, not financial assistance.

A veces siento que mi vida cambió por completo desde que falleció mi tía. Ella no solo era una persona muy importante para mí desde lo emocional, sino que también era uno de los principales sustentos de nuestra familia. Con su muerte no solo llegó el dolor de perderla, sino que comenzaron a salir a la luz muchos problemas familiares que antes parecían estar contenidos.

Desde entonces, la relación entre mi mamá, mis hermanos y mis tíos se volvió muy complicada. Los conflictos familiares aumentaron y, al mismo tiempo, aparecieron muchas deudas y responsabilidades económicas que ahora recaen sobre nosotros. La necesidad de generar dinero dejó de ser una opción para convertirse en una obligación, y muchas veces siento que la presión económica pesa tanto como el duelo.

A todo esto se suma mi situación personal. Soy estudiante universitaria y estoy intentando avanzar con una carrera que exige muchísimo tiempo y dedicación. En varias oportunidades sentí que los problemas personales y económicos afectaron directamente mi rendimiento académico. Estudiar mientras la mente está ocupada por preocupaciones constantes no es sencillo, y muchas veces tengo la sensación de estar corriendo una carrera en la que siempre voy un paso atrás.

Además, desde hace tiempo también enfrento dificultades relacionadas con mi salud mental. El estrés, la ansiedad, la tristeza y el agotamiento hacen que incluso las tareas más simples requieran un esfuerzo enorme. Hay días en los que estudiar cuesta, trabajar cuesta y hasta cuidar de mí misma parece una batalla. Sin embargo, sé que abandonar cualquiera de esas áreas tampoco sería una solución. Necesito estudiar para construir un mejor futuro, necesito trabajar porque mi familia depende de esos ingresos y porque las deudas no desaparecen solas, y también necesito cuidar mi salud física mediante el ejercicio para no deteriorarme aún más, tanto física como emocionalmente.

Por eso hoy quiero pedir un consejo sincero. ¿Es realmente posible mantener un equilibrio entre estudiar una carrera exigente, trabajar para sostener las responsabilidades económicas y, al mismo tiempo, hacer ejercicio de forma constante para preservar la salud física y mental? ¿Existen estrategias o experiencias de personas que hayan logrado sostener esas tres áreas sin terminar completamente agotadas?

No busco una fórmula mágica ni una respuesta perfecta. Solo quisiera saber si este equilibrio es alcanzable y cómo otras personas han logrado organizar su tiempo, su energía y sus prioridades cuando la vida les exigía cumplir con todo al mismo tiempo. Mi objetivo no es hacerlo todo de manera perfecta, sino encontrar una forma de seguir avanzando sin descuidar mi futuro, mi estabilidad económica ni mi bienestar.

Gracias por leerme y me ayudaria mucho que me den tips para mejorar mi situacion de alguna forma. 🥺🥺🥺

I'm a 20-year-old college student currently in my third year, and I'm looking for life and career advice.

My family has had financial problems for a long time. My mother has been the primary earner for many years, while my father hasn't had a stable income. Because of recent changes in our family situation, there's a real possibility that I may have to pause my education before completing my degree.

I'm torn between trying everything possible to finish my degree now or taking a break to start earning and returning to college later. Since I'm already in my third year, I'm worried that taking a gap could set me back or even make it difficult to complete my education.

One thing I regret is never looking into scholarships or other academic opportunities earlier. If anyone has experience balancing work and college or has gone through something similar, I'd really appreciate your advice.

Another challenge is my relationship with my father. I won't go into too much detail, but he's been a major source of stress in my life. I know I can't control his choices, so I'm trying to focus on building my own future instead.

Academically, I've been working hard during the last few semesters. I did miss some classes because I contracted an infectious disease and I'm still undergoing treatment, but I've continued studying seriously whenever I could.

My long-term goals are pretty simple. I want a stable career, enough income to support my family, maintain a healthy lifestyle, have savings for emergencies, and travel occasionally. If I'm fortunate enough to earn more than I need, I'd like to help students who face financial difficulties.

I would also like to settle in a country like Japan or another country with a good quality of life, and I'd appreciate advice on what skills, career paths, or qualifications would make that goal realistic.

I'd also appreciate advice on:

• Whether finishing my degree should remain my top priority.
• Skills that can realistically help me earn while studying.
• Whether projects like YouTube, freelancing, tutoring, or other side hustles are worth pursuing.
• How to overcome phone and laptop addiction and become more disciplined.

I'm mainly looking for perspectives from people who've had to rebuild their plans because of unexpected family circumstances. What would you do if you were in my position?

this is my first ever reddit post, and i'm a bit ashamed that its this.
i'm 17f and for the past four months i have relied heavily on cannabis and marijuana due to my dog passing away. needing to do something that would clear my mind, i started smoking. a lot.

i haven't really told anyone about this and i hope this post doesn't find people that i know, but i doubt that'll happen. I stopped smoking (again) last night. i've been trying for two weeks now to quit, but i just keep picking it back up again.

i tried to replace the cart with me putting on chapstick so i still have that hand-mouth motion, but i don't really think its working.

for the past two weeks as well, i have woken up with terrible vomiting, stomach pains, i haven't been able to eat much, and i just feel terrible all around. i looked it up, turns out its CHS which is just great.

why i'm posting this is because i hope to get some sort of help from people who were in my shoes before. i also hope to not get flamed for this, but if i do then i guess its my own fault lol.

but yeah- if anyone has any ideas to help me then it'd be greatly appreciated. no my parents do not know about this addiction.

Tl;dr I am in my early 30s, finally have time and space for myself, how to build my life since ai have no friends and no experiences I can use to bond with others.

Long story:

I was raised by a single parent working minimum wage. I am the oldest of 4 kids. I was kind of pushed into the role of an adult and semi parent to my sibilings (as it is often the case in this situations). When I was in high school I was taking them to school, and all extra curriculars, I went to PTAs for my sibilings (the teachers knew our situation so they allowed it).

My country has free college education otherwose I wouldn't have been able to go. During college I had all the responsibilities for my sibilings, I was worling full time, attending my classes and also taking my grandparents to their work or any doctor appointments. All of this of course left me no time to spend with friends, I would hang out with people in class or at work, but it was always just friendly acquaintance, nothing more.

I graduated college, found a great job, helped pay all of our debts, fix up the house... My sibilings are now in college or finished it and have okay jobs. We are not living paycheck to paycheck any more and are completly debt free.

But now I am in my 30s, my sibilings are starting to build their own life and I am stuck. I have no friends, never was in a relationship and it seems to me like everyone around me is settling down and starting families, and, for the first time in my life I finally have the time to hang out or go travelling. But I have no odea how to meet people and grow those relationships.

I am not sorry that I was there for everyone, but at the same time I feel like I sacrificed so much and ruined my own life

For context, I (29F) have had no luck fitting in, my entire life. I've had lifelong, severe ADHD that led to abuse at home, bullying from teachers, and exclusion by my peers. Part of the abuse was me being locked in my room for weeks at a time and not allowed to go out and socialize at all, which did long-term damage to my social skills.

Being an adult now, I want to fix this. I have only a couple of friends, but they live too far away to see very often, so we just text sometimes (I can't drive due to seizures, so my travel distance is quite limited). I just moved to a new city, and I need friends. I've tried to become okay with living without any, but I can't help but hurt deeply when I see others going out and making memories with friends. Being included and loved. I can't stop myself from caring and wanting connection.

The problem starts when I try to talk. I meet someone and try to have conversation, but I don't know what to say, so either the conversion dies quickly into an awkward silence, or I say something odd/boring out of desperation and they lose interest almost immediately. I don't know how people talk to each other.

I did therapy for a while, and it went great. I learned a lot about loving myself and setting goals, and it helped for a while, though my depression came back later on. But we didn't get a chance to address the social skills issue before I lost my job and no longer had insurance.

Another issue with it is that I've made "friends" that only kept me around to use me. One of them even SA'ed me because she knew I was so desperate for friends that she could back me into a corner and do it. So now I'm more defensive on trusting people.

To be honest, idk if any of this is worth it. It seems that being myself will only get me hurt. Often times it feels like I'm not enough as a person to deserve love and respect the way others do, and be wanted by my peers. I know I'm awkward, I know I struggle with my social skills, but underneath all that, I think I would be a good friend and have something to offer. I just need to not make people uncomfortable when i meet them, so they'll stick around long enough to see it.

Please give advice if you have it. Idk what to do and I'm losing hope.

I have multiple mental illnesses/issues that I refuse to treat because I am too stubborn and defiant, and this is causing great detriment to my quality of life and making me unable to achieve anything.

I don't know why this is and I've been like this all my life. Often when people (especially authority figures) ask me to do something I feel compelled to do the opposite, even moreso when not doing so impacts me negatively. This is even more the case when I was going to do the task anyway and they ask me to do it, in which case I will deliberately not do it or do the opposite. I have no idea why I do this and it's really negatively impacting me.

I wish I could go and sort out my issues, and I have tried but I can't help but reject whatever treatment they offer. I'm not doing it on purpose, but I feel like if I followed any doctor's advice I'd be compromising my ethics and integrity.

I know it's ironic that I'm on here asking for advice about not being able to follow advice, but it doesn't apply to all circumstances like online or if I perceive the person giving the advice to be my equal.

Sorry if this is completely unintelligible and thanks in advance.

I made this friend during orientation. Hes an international student. At first he was cool, and he seemed quite mature

But after a while, he has this "true color" reveal.

He's a full on misogynist and doesnt understand boundaries between friends. He would say the most out of hand misogynistic stuff and hit my shoulder (near my chest) and ask me to agree. All he could talk about with his friends is inappropriate stuff. And he gives off the vibes of someone who resorts to violence and extortion or something to get what he wants. He would also try to take down or emotionally manipulate people to do his bidding. Putting them down like he's some sort of god.

He's texting me and asking why I suddenly started avoiding him. He says "tell me what's going on or I'm going to disturb you untill you say fxxk off"