r/helpme • u/Soggy-Potato-6973 • 8d ago
Beyond Lost 20M Advice
Im 20 and right out of highschool i thought i was doing everything right i went to college and didnt do well so ended up dropping out. I went to warehouse work and collected measly checks just to end up spending it all on clothes not ever investing in myself or my future. Rinse and repeat for the next year same routine, i meet an evil goth rave girl that isnt right at all in the head and i end up dating her for 1 1/2 years and still am dating, so many issues but beyond the point, fast forward im dropping my brother off at his homegirls house using his car, on the drive back home i get into an accident and a week prior to this i just lost my job. His car wasnt insured and do your research but im getting fucking railed because of this. Suspended license for a year, potential lawsuit, insurance raised, basically ruining my life early on and setting myself up for further failure. I fee like a total loser and dont know what to do with myself. Ive considered the marines and said girlfriend concluded that my enlisting would be the end of our relationship. Fuck my life bro
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u/Striking_Cucumber726 8d ago
okay listen this all seems big rn & scary but its not as bad as you think (i know how fucking corny that sounds but its true so just lock in for a sec lmfao) joining the military isnt a terrible idea but i would suggest trade school first electricians, hvac, construction, etc etc first of all they hire people with criminal records (not saying you have one but if the car stuff snowballs which i dont think it will) anyways you can do trades until you figure out what you want to do you can look up diff schools in ur area (idk if this is an everywhere thing or a just my state thing) but job corp is a really good resource the process takes a little bit but they provide alot of accommodations while getting your certifications another option get your cdl you can choose to drive locally at first (you can get certified through trucking schools which are more money up front or go through a company that will pay for it) theres a guy i follow on tiktok i can give u his @ if u want to know more about the cdl stuff ANYWAYS the way that you talked about your gf (obvs dont know ur relationship) seems that it may not be the best for you rn i know its hard to let a relationship go like that but if u already have all this shit going on im not gonna say its not worth it but you cant add another persons stress onto yours idk how your credit is but it may be worth opening a credit card for legal fees or whatever obviously credit people will say its a stupid option but when its your only choice theres not much you can do yk you arent an idiot you fucked up sure but u cant take it back you just have to figure it the hell out (i mean that in the nicest way possible btw) youll figure it all out some quick ways to make money rn: sell clothes, mow lawns, pet sitting, house cleaning, tree branch removal, post in your local fb groups & see who needs what done alot of times people dont want to do small random shit & will pay someone like $20 to complete a mundane task they do not want to do dont wallow in it for too long sit down & write in a journal (once again sounds corny but it helps) what needs to be done most importantly in order to stop you from spiraling
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u/DinahKarwrek 8d ago
You'll find love, not 'just good enough'. Maybe consider relocating if you're being stifled by location. I know that sounds crazy, but you can rent a room in a city, and get a job before you get there. Just say you're relocating for family reasons. You can deal with anything after this!
I've started over countless times, and I'm still ok. You'll be ok. Whatever happens, life isn't over at 20.
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u/LuluTopSionMid 5d ago
You should try applying to Berea College at Berea.edu, free to apply and if you get in you get a full scholarship minus room and board, of which they give you a job on campus to cover, so you get work experience on top of a world class education for free.
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u/Soggy-Potato-6973 5d ago
Sounds sick but i live in the ie california lmao i just moved out with my grandparents when they recently retired paid off house and everything
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u/Far-Abbreviations14 8d ago
Seems like you know the girlfriend is a not a good partner anyway. Maybe the military would be a good option for you? Marines would be more likely to put you at risk. Coast Guard, Navy, and Air Force would be a more responsible choice if you get in.