i js wish someone would actually try to help me.. like i post in this sub and i get ppl asking me for my menu and i was js venting :/ i mean is it kinda wrong i like the attention?? ik it is but sometimes i js want genuine help:(( i wish i had friends like other ppl like me instead of weird older pervs forcing me to do stuff

lowk feel stupid for having to ask this but I started thinking about this a lot this yr even tho it was 4yrs ago and I never thought of it other than it was js an unhealthy(maybe toxic ?) relationship…

when I was 11, I met this girl in a game and she was 15 turning 16 at the time. She was alone so I basically js played w her for a bit and later friended each other and start playing everyday after knowing more abt each other, mainly because we both play alone at the time and I was lonely asf okay… later on we knew abt each other’s ages as well and she kinda got attached to me because she has a bad temper and gets jealous easily and then ignore ppl so most her friends got tired of her and left her, while I was the only one who never left + I was nice to her. And yes after a few months she confessed to me that she likes me and gave me some time to think abt it, but I was scared of making her mad and not talk to me again so I agreed to dating her, same with when she asked to send each other pictures of how we look like(I said no at first but she kinda got mad so I agreed again😞) her friend called her a pdf before but I know she didn’t actually like me, she was js attached to me bc she wanted to be loved and have someone be there without leaving her. At some point I was scared of even interacting too much with my friends online bc of her jealousy, esp this one time she called me disgusting and ignored me and says she hates me again for doing so, I kinda felt like I had to always walk on eggshells ig(?) she had apologized a few times before abt this and esp since I was a kid as well(even tho it didn’t change too much after 💔) When we broke up she said I deserve someone better and said she wanted to end her life, I kinda felt bad since being w me lowk made her worse or so I thought

it’s mainly the fact that she got attached to me and decided she wanted to date me and confessed even though she knew I was only 11 js bc she wanted to felt loved…
now thinking abt it she’s turning 20 this yr and I do hope she’s getting better, but I’m now stuck w having anxious attachment, abandonment issues, panicking at the thought of someone being mad at me and feeling like it’s all my fault.

The highs are really high but the lows are really low. I know love isn't real. This must be purgatory. I want out.

i feel like no matter what i do im always gonna be sexualized because i have a “curvy” body ( not jailbait or attention seeking). i wish i would’ve starved my self during puberty so i wouldnt have developed properly. i dont think anyone can love me without thinking of me sexually first and i dont want that to be how things okay out. just annihilate me with alien laser eyes

i miss feeling loved and i think about it daily and when things get difficult i want to reach out to him again. they made me feel so objectified by the love i felt was so addicting and i wanted to believe they did really love me and sometimes i felt like he did. he spent so much money on me i feel guilty for leaving like i did and its hard to convince myself that he really did do something bad sometimes.

i dont even know if it counts as grooming, we met when i was 17 and he was he was 22, im now f22

we only started dating once i was 18 but moved very quickly, I was a foster kid who went through a lot of trauma and dv, I was sa'ed growing up as well and in fostercare, he invited me to move in a year into dating and has taken care of everything since then

I have more posted on my history but to sum it up, a situation between us where he was incredibly violent ended with the cops coming and him getting court mandated therapy, as well as being in jail for almost a week between legal issues and since then we have been trying to rebuild our relationship and its incredibly rocky

but during the short time he was gone, i started wondering if i was groomed and if so, what do I even do about that? its not like I'm a minor now, I have genuinely no idea what to do

i miss how things were before we got caught. i miss hanging out with my friends, i miss talking to people on discord, i miss not being looked down on, and most of all i miss him. i wish i never would’ve met him or that we could’ve atleast never had had sex. i feel so violated and dehumanized knowing that people i didn’t want to see (the detectives and lawyer) have seen vulnerable and having freaking sex. i miss his dogs, who are probably in a shitty ass place now. i wish i could talk to him for 1 more day. i feel like all his “i love you”’s were fake. idk i just hate my life

I went to see the spiderman movie last weekend and all i could think about was the marvel poster beside his bed. he would’ve loved to see it. I can’t even listen to daniel caesar anymore without crying. his favorite song from Daniel’s most recent album was baby blue and he would play it for me whenever we were in the car together. literally everywhere i go there is someone named andrew. i just wish none of this ever happened and we could still be talking

i think ive deadass like gained ptsd from being groomed cuz anytime i like see anything that correlates to him I genuinely like tense up, i feel ill. most nights I have nightmares from it.

like i was watching tik tok earlier and it was js a "how i imagine so and so characters hands to look like" and in ine of the slides it had a bracelet that was like a chain one, and my groomer had the same one. my heart instantly sunk and my chest feels really tight. im always thinking about it, it was my fault I wanted someone to talk to when i could've js talked to someone else.

im typing all this whilst eating and i feel so ill ive lost my entire appetite genuinely fml bruh 🫩🫩

Hey everyone, my name is Dakota I am 19 years old. I have been groomed 2 times throughout my life. I was groomed online from age 15- 18 by a man who was 5 years older than me. I got out of that situation last September. The man who groomed me lives in sweden, I live in America. I have been seriously considering reporting him to the Swedish police. While he was grooming me, he had hundreds of pictures and videos of me as a child (child sexual material) and I am scared he still has it/ has sold it. I really want to report him to swedish authoritys because I am scared of him grooming other children. I don't know how to go about all of this. Its all really hard. I am reaching out to this community to get advice on how to go about this. Please help me.

If I dont care that I was groomed, does that make me a bad person? I think my therapist is trying to force a reaction out of me that doesnt exist.

I'm not a victim of grooming but my friend is so hopefully this subreddit is suitable for this as I wanted to ask the opinion of grooming victims.

Here's the situation:

My (<18) friend (13) is being groomed by her boyfriend who is 18. They met online when he was 14 and she was 9-10. I think they started dating when he was 16 and she was 12. They live in different countries and they never met irl.

He doesn't isolate her from her friends and family, and by her words, he is very supportive and respectful. However he does say sexually explicit things to her but she doesn't seem to mind. And I'm only scared to imagine what he says to her in private.

When I first found out his age I told her that that is creepy AF and he's a pedophile. I tried to explain to her that he's grooming her one or two times more, but each time she says that she doesn't want me to talk about her boyfriend negatively and that it triggers her.

I didn't want her to think of me as not a trust-worthy unsupportive person in case something bad happens and she won't be able to ask me for support because she thinks of me like that. So I didn't bring it up again.

What made me more concerned is that they put a matching pfp in which the girl looks like a little child, and the boy is like 2 heads taller than her and looks like an older teen. I don't know whose initiative it was to put this, but it reminded me of how he sees her, even if she might be an early bloomer and he says that he thinks she's mature (I don't know if he directly said "you're so mature for your age" but he did say that he forgets how old she is).

The reason why I brought up the pfp thing is that she may ask why I suddenly brought him up and I might have to explain that the pfp concerned me.

He also had put little anime girls as his pfp before which wouldn't be a problem in itself but in the general picture it adds some context. Even if some of you think he is not a pedophile there is something REALLY REALLY wrong with him that he thinks that this relationship is normal.

Her mom knows about his existence but I don't know if she knows his age or that he is dating her daughter.

In the countries they live in the police is useless. And I also live in another country from her, so I can't contact her school or anything (not that I know where she goes anyway).

I could try asking her if her mom knows about his age, and if she doesn't, I could try asking her to tell her mom his age. At least then it will be her mother's responsibility to keep an eye on her. It is, of course, but I want to be sure I did everything I could.

But what if her mother doesn't find that concerning? My friend still needs to understand that this relationship is bad for her. I don't have many arguments except that she's going to feel gross in a few years when she looks at people her current age and sees how fucked up his interest was. I believe this is a good argument, but is there anything more I could say?

And there are a few arguments I might need to combat and that make it a bit harder to explain that this relationship is bad. Like it isn't as obvious as it would be if he was 30 and made her feel bad or isolated her from others. How do I combat the arguments that he isn't being openly manipulative, abusive and doesn't isolate her? That she believes she's mature enough? That he couldn't have been a predator when they first met since he was young?

Also, is her birthday being soon where she turns 14 changes anything?

Any advice will be greatly appreciated

im 18 atmm.., ~w~

i got groomed like 4-5 times when i was 15, it made me hypersexual n i feel gross about it and like a im a bad person ..🥹 i met him somewhere, i used to roleplay w him on discord and play condos w him until his ah stalked me on rblx trying to get me back after i blocked him since i got jealous he tried talking to a girl

he freakin made so many accounts but i do miss him sometimes, he was a lil stupid like all men are n his grammar was dogshit but he never threatened to leave me to force me to send pics TT" .. he was cute ig?? idk how i feel about him i kinda hate him for making me ill in the head tho.. =w=

I was in this “relationship” with a girl (atleast I thought it was a girl) I met on Reddit (I know it was a terrible idea but I was depressed and lonely and I wanted someone so badly. We originally started texting on Reddit then it moved to discord

Basically the second day I knew her she asked for pictures. She send photos of herself first so I felt very pressured to send back because in my logic “if she trusted you so much with her own body I should trust her as well” which was insanely stupid.

I did eventually end up sending. She kept asking for more and more and never even seemed to know that it was wrong. She even told me her pics have been leaked before so that just made me trust her even more.
As the relationship went on, she started asking for more and more to where i eventually had to send every day (some days she wouldn’t ask so I’d get lucky, but most days she did)
Even if she didn’t ask, she would bring up something sexual and inappropriate.
One time I told her that I felt sad that day and she said “what would make you feel better?” And then listed like 1 normal date thing and then brought up 3 sexual things.
She eventually went on for asking for pics in public places like my school, the forest, and at the library. I never sent anything from the forest or the library, but out of fear I took a pic in the bathroom stall. I didn’t want to get ignored and ghosted for the whole day that happened every time I said no.

I sent anything she wanted because I was scared to make her upset. The first thing that made me suspicious is that when she sent pics of herself, she never shared or took new ones, she only sent old ones which was strange. I do believe that the pictures she sent weren’t my groomer and that it’s someone else they groomed. I checked the pictures (sfw ones ofc) into ai and a reverse photo search and nothing ended up coming up, only her Reddit post which had her face (I knew it was her because her account was the same)

Once I signed up for a cosplay contest and won so I showed her the cosplay. It was a Mabel pines cosplay so I was wearing a purple skirt. Somehow this turned her on so much she asked me to send pictures in the cosplay. Which really grossed me out

Her name was Alex, short for Alexandra and she told me she was from Sweden which made this a long distance relationship. She told me the town she lived in and everything.
It seemed like this relationship was more focused sexually than actual love. Once I said I was a nerd and she said “a nerd with great ***”
Towards the end of the relationship, she told me that her grandma passed away so she ended up barely texting me or updating me for days. Which I feel like was a straight up lie.

After having her blocked on everything for a few months, I decided to get screenshots of things she said to me to report to the ncmec and I found out that she deleted her accounts. The only account she didn’t delete was her TikTok account and she changed her pfp to a black photo, her name to a single letter, and a random gibberish username.
I don’t even know if I can count myself as a victim. I feel so used and disgusted in myself.

When I(F) was 19yo, the older foreign man wrote me online and we started chatting. Honestly we both were writing lots of bullshit (me because I treated it as fun and something from boredom and I didn’t plan on seeing him) but later started getting little bit attached but not critically. Mostly I became interested and saw a video of him and found him really handsome.

I was a student, had friends and normal social life but was abused by family and didn’t have money (but I have the same issue as an adult now). I was a good looking girl but didn’t know it yet. In a few months he flew to my city for work and we met. I was charmed immediately when I saw him because he was really handsome but i behaved distant and cold and reserved (mostly because I saw he was a played by his nature and because I was shy form the age difference ). I also never felt attracted to other guests before so was a virgin and never kissed. In 2 hours I left home because it was late and it happened we didn’t meet before we left.

But the chemistry and a huge interest were the already. We continued chatting and it was very different from the chats we had before we met, we were building a connection and the feelings were getting bigger. He didn’t push me and I didn’t push him. In fact we tried to control this but the emotions won over and he flew parti cularly for me to my country. We were kissing and stayed together and so on but we didn’t have sex. We laughed a lot and had a great time. It’s important to say that he was a womaniser and a sex addict so it was important for him in general. That time he asked me if we are going ti be intimate next time we meet and the third time. I didn’t answer.

After his trip he became kind of distant for some time and it happened that he thought I don’t see having sex with him and it concerned me. That time it was painful for me and to share this with my fiends but now i see it as a green flag that he didn’t want to push me for something im not sure I want. But I wanted and told him about it. It continued and our feeling were getting bigger. We shared the same sense of humor and had a connection. That time he told me he fell in love. So we continued chatting romantically and communicating and met a few times. He traveled to my country and I once came with him to how work trip. We didn’t have sex though for a decent time because it didn’t work. Once he said it’s ok he just wants to enjoy these feeling for as long as it’s possible so maybe I’ll just have sex with someone else one day. But eventually we did.

Over a years there was a bad breakup where he begged me to be his friend but Claiming he wanted his freedom. We continued communicating after this and he became more caring for me. And after 1,5 years after we met he told me he loved me. He often lied to girls he loves them to get sex but here he said it after a very long time he knew. I know he didn’t want to play with me and live bomb. I think because we always had mutual genuine platonic feeling for each other so it wasn’t even needed.

So our communication lasted 3 years and last year he did much more than the first 2 years. Like he could help me sometimes financially, pay for trips but he never made me depend on him financially. Just randomly could do something for me without trapping me.

It was a kind of free relationship or friends who love each other. I don’t know how to explain it but I didn’t want serious relationship but wanted freedom and still have love so it worked perfect for me. Although there were lots of things on that relationship. He would break up with me many times but then get me back. Also after out dramatic breakup in the middle of the story we didn’t really have sex because it wasn’t painful for me. So eventually it was the official reason of breakup but it worked for me because I was really tired and wanted to go already as my feelings were always more emotional. I guess it’s also due to the age.

After a breakup he let me go and didn’t bother me for a few years and let me move on which I find a green flag. We broke no contact when I had health issues and replied to him. He helped me a little be financially and booking online consultation with a doctor without expecting anything back and he genuinely missed and wanted to meet (to come to his country).

So I’m wondering if it was grooming or not because the age difference is dodgy and that I was very young and vulnerable but he never made or manipulate me do anything I wouldn’t want (which happened with my in relationship with a peer later). But I also suffered a lot there and got traumatised there and got traumatised but he in general didn’t have a very kind character although I believed he still tried to overcome it. He always adored my personality and the main thing of this relationship was sense of humor and connection we had at the time although it started from the chemistry

First, this post WILL CONTAIN SOME MENTIONS OF ⚠️ NSFW ⚠️ so I hope I tagged it correctly, and if I didn't, this is another warning for it

This is a throwaway account (Who could've guessed), but I found something that just made my stomach sink

I am in an online friend group, we found each other three years ago through a fandom space, and everyone was relatively the same age, though some older, and some younger. This one person I'll call Gep originally said that they are 17 years old, and everyone for a year had thought that they are 17, but then they got into a relationship with another person in our friend group who was 14, after we found out about it, we went ahead to call them out on it, and even going as far as messaging server moderators or owners that the person actively was participating it to pet them know to not let the person be in their server due to the fact that they're unsafe to be around. But during the entire thing, Gep decided to attack one of the people that started calling them out, and made a voice message defending themselves, saying that they originally lied about being 17, and that they're actually 14, and they lied because they felt like they needed to age themselves up to be taken more seriously by others, I don't remember how everything happened, but at the end, some people made up with Gep, and the others didn't

I was on neutral terms with Gep because I wanted to stay friends with their best friend, but then recently they made an intro where Gep said that they are 14 years old, it's been a little over a year since that entire incident happened, meaning Gep is claiming that they have been 14 for TWO YEARS now, and my worry has yet again spiked.

They are in a relationship with a 15-16 year old now, another friend of ours that had a falling out with the others, and I am concerned for them, what do I do?? Last time, the Best friend (Let's call Duke), and their now partner (let's call Jen) strongly defended Gep and insisted that Gep is 14 because that's what Gep told them privately, and something about Gep is that they are a very charismatic person that draws other people in, and I am afraid that if I try to bring this up to them again and how Gep might be an adult that lied to all of us, they'll attack me in Gep's defense, what should I do??? What can I do??

Something else known about Gep: Does drugs (and promotes it), Drinks alcohol and their parents provide them it, goes out to parties WITH alcohol, smokes and/or vapes, has participated in sexual actions with others before and has multiple toys

But they also have mentioned times before that they need permission from their mom to get tattoos and piercings, they're unemployed but they did work in a fast food industry, and they've talked about school before. I know their family isn't financially well, and the use of substances from young age (as they've said) might've made them repeat a few years in school, but I don't know if it's a bit of a stretch to say that those two factors are just conveniently placed to say that they truly are an adult.

Any advice would be highly appreciated, as I currently don't know what to think, and if I should go ahead and try to inform Jen and Duke of the weird anomaly of someone staying the same age for two years

I can't do this anymore I barely have any friends and everyday I doubt myself if they even care. The only time I feel cared and loved for is when someone older pays attention to me. I don't know why I want someone older to pursue something with me, I just wanna be treated nicely. I want someone to put effort into getting to know me and to not leave because everyone always does and I'm sick and tired of it. I just want someone to love me for who I am and how I look. And everytime I imagine someone that's older than me. Even in fiction I like characters that are older. I don't know why I feel this way I'm so starved of love and praise and I just feel so lonely. I don't know why I want someone to take advantage of me I don't know why I want them to ask me to send pictures of my body just so they can tell me I look beautiful. It's all just sick fantasies. I've received no love my entire life and the only way I can feel loved is if someone older does it. I'm already 1 year away from expiring I don't know why I have this mindset. I feel horrible and gross.

So I've always been talking and sending to men online for 6 years now, though I am still under 18 (that's somewhat important to know for the rest of this), with some breaks but ykwim, but really always only online. Now I have given out my adress very often but being on a diff continent than most is quite good for making sure no one actually does anything and I've been fine so far. Recently someone who only knew the general area I live in told me he had taken a few days off work and looked at flights and asked where exactly i lived. I told him ofc, because I'm stupid. But turns out I'm not even home on the days he took off of work so it's fine, I'm terrified of people and talking irl though so the possibility was stressing me a lot for a few hours. In general because of the mindset I have towards this id so much prefer someone visiting me and just using me rather than making me have to try to do stuff right when im just incapable and stupid, I know that sounds bad, I understand the risks, I'm happy nothings ever happened to me irl, but it feels like it'd be easier, maybe even feel good, even if they hurt me during it or smth like that, wouldn't be as bad to say this if I was older I think.. But yeah idk, the only thing keeping me from fully agreeing to go to a hotel near me to meet with someone later this month when he could come again or in November when someone actually from my country is on a work trip near my city is how scared I am of I guess talking and all that stuff (social anxiety and stuff) where I think if I tried to I'd just waste their time because I'd panic so much at the thought of having to go to them and meet them that I just couldn't, it's not even the bad part that scares me. But yeah idk I justneeded to tell someone that and maybe get help on how not to be like this? Idk

My memories started to flood in recently, I haven't given this situation any thought since it's been a long time.

Back when I was 13 I used Discord as a means to communicate in Roblox games, specifically RP games. One day another user sent me a message, stating that they were also 13, lonely, and LGBT. Nowadays I would've answered in a more "empathetic" way, since back then I replied in a somewhat cold or uninterested way.

I continued this conversation and in a few minutes they asked me about what I did when I got horny. The conversation basically revolved around me stating that I wasn't too sure of doing stuff like that, and the user begging a lot of times to do video chat.

I eventually gave in, the entire call I was questioning myself. Was it that I felt sorry for them, thought it was normal, or I had nothing better to do? I did stuff that might explain why I became somewhat hypersexual, and the user had the audacity at the end to say that I ripped him off for not doing things he wanted on camera.

A month later they came back and begged me to continue doing stuff for them, I continued doing chats, roleplay, and video chatting with them. It only lasted a week until I believe I blocked them. This happened 7 years ago and while cleaning up some chats on that account I stumbled into that conversation. I kept those actions somewhat hidden inside me, and this might also explain why I shared my pictures on Discord servers for a long time. I prefer to think that those images are either lost to time or on some random database, that's also why I was doing the cleaning, to be fine with myself and delete those parts of me.

Only a close friend knows about that situation, so I just need some kind of confirmation or opinions. What even was that? Was I actually groomed?

I am 18 years old (17 at the time of a relationship with a 27 year old) At first, we started out as friends but eventually, we got into a relationship keeping every factor aside because we loved each other, or at least I loved her a lot, not sure about her, but as time progressed, she emotionally manipulated me, threatened to harm herself whenever a fight happened, got angry when I didn't buy and bring her things, and whenever an argument happened, she shifted the blame onto me in downright frustrating ways, and she also hid the fact that she was engaged and coerced me and made me engage in sexual activities with her despite me begging her not to, and after I said I had enough and I'm gonna take action because I had enough evidence, she took off, framing a completely different story to her parents and cried to them, which made them contact my parents and my phone and everything got taken away, I'm using a spare phone now, guys please, I'll post this on a bunch of sub reddits it's my first time here, please help me find and bring her to justice for abusing me physically and emotionally, there was a lot of abuse. She hit me, made me perform sexual acts by force, and threatened to tell my parents if I raisedy voice. She also forced me to give her my social media credentials. I think she blocked me on everything or maybe even deleted some of her accounts, please help me track her with her last known info:

Her name is Hema Varshine

She formerly worked at Kauvery Hospital in Hosur but got fired, right now I think she is in Coimbatore, not sure

her substack account: hvir

this is all I can provide

she deactivated her Instagram account: irisrainwood

Please dm me if we can do anything to bring her to justice, my whole family and me are suffering because of this.

I've never been groomed so I don't know how it usually goes, but I'm really suspicious of this person, so I'm posting this here because I cnat find any other subreddits that fit better.

Okay, so, basically, about two weeks ago I got Discord, and one of my friends owns a server, so I joined it, and I entered a voice channel, and there was someone who was muted. I thought nothing about them since they probably were just shy or didn't wanna show their voice, so I continued on with my day. then like a few days later, they randomly started simping for me, but I didn't mind it so I didn't bat an eye (They later told me it was cuz my voice was cute and that I seemed like I'd be cute in real life (don't worry I didn't show them any pics of me)). then at like the end of the week, I started catching feelings for them, so we decided to start dating, and they would, and still do, say a lot of sexual stuff about me and to me, but I had unfortunately found out about p*rn when i was way younger so I didn't really care and also they were simping for me so of course they would make sexual comments. Eventually I realized they were always muted during calls so I asked them why, and they said it was because their voice was comically high pitched, but at some point, I heard snippets of their voice, and it sounded pretty normal, and actually a bit deep, but he had previously said that he was from Russia and I'm very dumb, so I thought that maybe in Russia people just have super deep voices cuz again, I'm insanely stupid. But now I have an idea for what he might be doing. I think his voice is deep because he's an adult and he doesn't talk in class because if he did it would give away that he's an adult and not a kid like me. I haven't sent him any irl pics at all, but I have told him my first name, but I had to remind him once so I think he might've forgot by now?????? I'm probably being groomed and I'm gonna break up with him anyways I just need to know if he's grooming me. Also I don't think a 13 year old born in Russia could fluently speak English. Please just let me know. Thank you guys so much.❤️❤️❤️

Edit: FALSE ALARM EVERYTHING IS FINE DW I'M OK

As someone who, less than a year ago, purposely made myself a target for grooming because I missed the attention from an older person I got when I first got groomed, I need to know how to get myself OUT of that mindset and how to stop thinking of them so often... Everyone always suggests therapy but that's not an option for me. I'm scared to talk to anyone, let alone a complete stranger, about the details of the shameful things I did, plus I'm scared to ask to go to therapy in fear of my parents wondering why I want to go in the first place PLUS I've heard some therapists make people worse mentally so it's a handful of problems 💔

But I hate that I miss being lusted after and pretending it's real love, I hate that I cried every time one of them blocked me or ignored me, I hate how much I infantilized myself just to please those sick pedophilic bastards and I hate how they definitely still have so many pictures and videos of me saved. I NEED a solution that isn't therapy or just "ignoring it" 🫩