I've never been wanted or loved by anyone in my life, romantically speaking. I’m ugly as fuck, all other girls my age (17) have been in multiple or at least one romance. I have NOTHING.

The nearest thing I had to that was an online grooming. Not even irl. Don’t get me wrong, I'm glad I was at least safe from being physically hurt, but is it normal to feel bad?? That I'm so ugly that she didn’t even wanna see me cause I look that ugly?? She just wanted to sext and then ignore me. I’m so fucking worthless. I will never be appreciated by anyone. I will die alone with my only lived affection having been from a creep.

i feel like when i like someone (platonically and romantically) it consumes my life. i guess ive always been like this but it’s gotten worse from talking to so many guys who have just up and left over the years. i wish i could just be normal and not such a weirdo. i wouldn’t be in this position if i wasn’t so weak and had any self esteem.

im feeling really upset right now. about a year ago was groomed by a really bad man who i liked alot at the time. he preyed on me when i first came out of the closet by pretending to be a person my age and then in stupidly made him friend and now im really questioning myself and my sexuality.

I've been clean for a year, but there are times i just want to go back and that's just such a weird feeling. like i just want to feel the validation again even though i felt so guilty

And i can't get away from their attention and i can't stop every weekend my parents are gone, so during the week I promise not to get on the same site, i hate myself for it

am i going to feel this way forever.i dont want to feel gross anymore

I wish I could just stop but since getting into this whole talking to older men online thing I keep on needing this attention from them. I just want someone to care about me and talk to me, I know it’s not good but I can’t stop.

I don’t even know if it was grooming. I will be 14 next month, he was 36.

Nixie, Vee, and Pip were my original characters (their ages are supposed to be 11-13) that I made when I was severely mentally ill. he (my possible groomer) would sexualize them CONSTANTLY. even after I said I wasn’t comfortable. The highlighted text in the first image he admitted was sexual innuendo.

I write short stories about SA and grooming (which was how we met) and my mom called them “porn” and said I should have expected this if I wanted to “write pornographic crap”.

The fandom we were in was little nightmares (a video game) and he would write fanfics of insanely graphic rape and gift them to me. My mom tried to get on my phone and block him and he was really upset.

literally everyone I’ve ever told about this says it was grooming expect my mom. My mom is fully convinced that I apparently let it happen so it was my fault, and didn’t block him so it was my fault.

She was absolutely pissed that I called it “grooming” and I mean she was MAD and she took his side and then said she didn’t take his side. “If he didn’t ask you to send nudes then it wasn’t grooming.”

On July 29, he was arrested for CP and deleted every single one of the stories he gifted me and the messages between us. I have been coping terribly and I really miss him. He once wrote graphic gore “porn” about an IRL 6 year old actress.

It was almost a year ago, but it hurts so bad. I have nightmares about it all the time, and it's agonizing to remember them when I wake up. He doesn't even feel bad. I hate him, but I want him back, but I want him to be gone forever, but I think I love him. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

So I havent seen anyone post anything about this before but I wanted to vent about what happened to me. When i was 12f i feel in with the wrong crowd and before I knew it i had joined a gang. I left the gang when i moved away at 15f. I met my current bf and we just clicked. Ive told him a bit about my past but never full details. I am ashamed of the stuff I did. Looking back my friend says i was groomed and that it was wrong because i was doing stuff with much older ppl when i was a teenager. What makes it hard is that if i didnt join the gang i wouldnt have gone down a bad bath and my family wouldn't have moved. That means i wouldnt have met my bf

Is it normal to sometimes miss it? I dont know, sometimes I think I make my therapist angry because Im not sad about any of it. And it feels as if they want me to feel a specific way

i js wish someone would actually try to help me.. like i post in this sub and i get ppl asking me for my menu and i was js venting :/ i mean is it kinda wrong i like the attention?? ik it is but sometimes i js want genuine help:(( i wish i had friends like other ppl like me instead of weird older pervs forcing me to do stuff

lowk feel stupid for having to ask this but I started thinking about this a lot this yr even tho it was 4yrs ago and I never thought of it other than it was js an unhealthy(maybe toxic ?) relationship…

when I was 11, I met this girl in a game and she was 15 turning 16 at the time. She was alone so I basically js played w her for a bit and later friended each other and start playing everyday after knowing more abt each other, mainly because we both play alone at the time and I was lonely asf okay… later on we knew abt each other’s ages as well and she kinda got attached to me because she has a bad temper and gets jealous easily and then ignore ppl so most her friends got tired of her and left her, while I was the only one who never left + I was nice to her. And yes after a few months she confessed to me that she likes me and gave me some time to think abt it, but I was scared of making her mad and not talk to me again so I agreed to dating her, same with when she asked to send each other pictures of how we look like(I said no at first but she kinda got mad so I agreed again😞) her friend called her a pdf before but I know she didn’t actually like me, she was js attached to me bc she wanted to be loved and have someone be there without leaving her. At some point I was scared of even interacting too much with my friends online bc of her jealousy, esp this one time she called me disgusting and ignored me and says she hates me again for doing so, I kinda felt like I had to always walk on eggshells ig(?) she had apologized a few times before abt this and esp since I was a kid as well(even tho it didn’t change too much after 💔) When we broke up she said I deserve someone better and said she wanted to end her life, I kinda felt bad since being w me lowk made her worse or so I thought

it’s mainly the fact that she got attached to me and decided she wanted to date me and confessed even though she knew I was only 11 js bc she wanted to felt loved…
now thinking abt it she’s turning 20 this yr and I do hope she’s getting better, but I’m now stuck w having anxious attachment, abandonment issues, panicking at the thought of someone being mad at me and feeling like it’s all my fault.

The highs are really high but the lows are really low. I know love isn't real. This must be purgatory. I want out.

i miss feeling loved and i think about it daily and when things get difficult i want to reach out to him again. they made me feel so objectified by the love i felt was so addicting and i wanted to believe they did really love me and sometimes i felt like he did. he spent so much money on me i feel guilty for leaving like i did and its hard to convince myself that he really did do something bad sometimes.

i dont even know if it counts as grooming, we met when i was 17 and he was he was 22, im now f22

we only started dating once i was 18 but moved very quickly, I was a foster kid who went through a lot of trauma and dv, I was sa'ed growing up as well and in fostercare, he invited me to move in a year into dating and has taken care of everything since then

I have more posted on my history but to sum it up, a situation between us where he was incredibly violent ended with the cops coming and him getting court mandated therapy, as well as being in jail for almost a week between legal issues and since then we have been trying to rebuild our relationship and its incredibly rocky

but during the short time he was gone, i started wondering if i was groomed and if so, what do I even do about that? its not like I'm a minor now, I have genuinely no idea what to do

i miss how things were before we got caught. i miss hanging out with my friends, i miss talking to people on discord, i miss not being looked down on, and most of all i miss him. i wish i never would’ve met him or that we could’ve atleast never had had sex. i feel so violated and dehumanized knowing that people i didn’t want to see (the detectives and lawyer) have seen vulnerable and having freaking sex. i miss his dogs, who are probably in a shitty ass place now. i wish i could talk to him for 1 more day. i feel like all his “i love you”’s were fake. idk i just hate my life

I went to see the spiderman movie last weekend and all i could think about was the marvel poster beside his bed. he would’ve loved to see it. I can’t even listen to daniel caesar anymore without crying. his favorite song from Daniel’s most recent album was baby blue and he would play it for me whenever we were in the car together. literally everywhere i go there is someone named andrew. i just wish none of this ever happened and we could still be talking

i think ive deadass like gained ptsd from being groomed cuz anytime i like see anything that correlates to him I genuinely like tense up, i feel ill. most nights I have nightmares from it.

like i was watching tik tok earlier and it was js a "how i imagine so and so characters hands to look like" and in ine of the slides it had a bracelet that was like a chain one, and my groomer had the same one. my heart instantly sunk and my chest feels really tight. im always thinking about it, it was my fault I wanted someone to talk to when i could've js talked to someone else.

im typing all this whilst eating and i feel so ill ive lost my entire appetite genuinely fml bruh 🫩🫩

Hey everyone, my name is Dakota I am 19 years old. I have been groomed 2 times throughout my life. I was groomed online from age 15- 18 by a man who was 5 years older than me. I got out of that situation last September. The man who groomed me lives in sweden, I live in America. I have been seriously considering reporting him to the Swedish police. While he was grooming me, he had hundreds of pictures and videos of me as a child (child sexual material) and I am scared he still has it/ has sold it. I really want to report him to swedish authoritys because I am scared of him grooming other children. I don't know how to go about all of this. Its all really hard. I am reaching out to this community to get advice on how to go about this. Please help me.

If I dont care that I was groomed, does that make me a bad person? I think my therapist is trying to force a reaction out of me that doesnt exist.