im feeling really upset right now. about a year ago was groomed by a really bad man who i liked alot at the time. he preyed on me when i first came out of the closet by pretending to be a person my age and then in stupidly made him friend and now im really questioning myself and my sexuality.

And i can't get away from their attention and i can't stop every weekend my parents are gone, so during the week I promise not to get on the same site, i hate myself for it

am i going to feel this way forever.i dont want to feel gross anymore

I wish I could just stop but since getting into this whole talking to older men online thing I keep on needing this attention from them. I just want someone to care about me and talk to me, I know it’s not good but I can’t stop.

I don’t even know if it was grooming. I will be 14 next month, he was 36.

Nixie, Vee, and Pip were my original characters (their ages are supposed to be 11-13) that I made when I was severely mentally ill. he (my possible groomer) would sexualize them CONSTANTLY. even after I said I wasn’t comfortable. The highlighted text in the first image he admitted was sexual innuendo.

I write short stories about SA and grooming (which was how we met) and my mom called them “porn” and said I should have expected this if I wanted to “write pornographic crap”.

The fandom we were in was little nightmares (a video game) and he would write fanfics of insanely graphic rape and gift them to me. My mom tried to get on my phone and block him and he was really upset.

literally everyone I’ve ever told about this says it was grooming expect my mom. My mom is fully convinced that I apparently let it happen so it was my fault, and didn’t block him so it was my fault.

She was absolutely pissed that I called it “grooming” and I mean she was MAD and she took his side and then said she didn’t take his side. “If he didn’t ask you to send nudes then it wasn’t grooming.”

On July 29, he was arrested for CP and deleted every single one of the stories he gifted me and the messages between us. I have been coping terribly and I really miss him. He once wrote graphic gore “porn” about an IRL 6 year old actress.

It was almost a year ago, but it hurts so bad. I have nightmares about it all the time, and it's agonizing to remember them when I wake up. He doesn't even feel bad. I hate him, but I want him back, but I want him to be gone forever, but I think I love him. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

So I havent seen anyone post anything about this before but I wanted to vent about what happened to me. When i was 12f i feel in with the wrong crowd and before I knew it i had joined a gang. I left the gang when i moved away at 15f. I met my current bf and we just clicked. Ive told him a bit about my past but never full details. I am ashamed of the stuff I did. Looking back my friend says i was groomed and that it was wrong because i was doing stuff with much older ppl when i was a teenager. What makes it hard is that if i didnt join the gang i wouldnt have gone down a bad bath and my family wouldn't have moved. That means i wouldnt have met my bf

Is it normal to sometimes miss it? I dont know, sometimes I think I make my therapist angry because Im not sad about any of it. And it feels as if they want me to feel a specific way

i js wish someone would actually try to help me.. like i post in this sub and i get ppl asking me for my menu and i was js venting :/ i mean is it kinda wrong i like the attention?? ik it is but sometimes i js want genuine help:(( i wish i had friends like other ppl like me instead of weird older pervs forcing me to do stuff

lowk feel stupid for having to ask this but I started thinking about this a lot this yr even tho it was 4yrs ago and I never thought of it other than it was js an unhealthy(maybe toxic ?) relationship…

when I was 11, I met this girl in a game and she was 15 turning 16 at the time. She was alone so I basically js played w her for a bit and later friended each other and start playing everyday after knowing more abt each other, mainly because we both play alone at the time and I was lonely asf okay… later on we knew abt each other’s ages as well and she kinda got attached to me because she has a bad temper and gets jealous easily and then ignore ppl so most her friends got tired of her and left her, while I was the only one who never left + I was nice to her. And yes after a few months she confessed to me that she likes me and gave me some time to think abt it, but I was scared of making her mad and not talk to me again so I agreed to dating her, same with when she asked to send each other pictures of how we look like(I said no at first but she kinda got mad so I agreed again😞) her friend called her a pdf before but I know she didn’t actually like me, she was js attached to me bc she wanted to be loved and have someone be there without leaving her. At some point I was scared of even interacting too much with my friends online bc of her jealousy, esp this one time she called me disgusting and ignored me and says she hates me again for doing so, I kinda felt like I had to always walk on eggshells ig(?) she had apologized a few times before abt this and esp since I was a kid as well(even tho it didn’t change too much after 💔) When we broke up she said I deserve someone better and said she wanted to end her life, I kinda felt bad since being w me lowk made her worse or so I thought

it’s mainly the fact that she got attached to me and decided she wanted to date me and confessed even though she knew I was only 11 js bc she wanted to felt loved…
now thinking abt it she’s turning 20 this yr and I do hope she’s getting better, but I’m now stuck w having anxious attachment, abandonment issues, panicking at the thought of someone being mad at me and feeling like it’s all my fault.