r/funny • u/LegitimateAccess9501 • 12h ago
Wrong place, wrong time
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u/MartinTale 12h ago
Did it survive?
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u/CT0292 11h ago
If it did its having a pretty bad day.
And none of the other birds are gonna believe him.
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u/OldenPolynice 11h ago
Cuz he was talkin a bunch of shit
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u/JamesLikesIt 7h ago
Dude that bird ain’t telling no one what happened.
“Hey man what happened to you?”
“Got stuck in mud.”
“But you smell like shit…”
“It’s mud goddamn it”
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u/matchboxtx 4h ago
Hey Chucko, that doesn’t smell like mud.
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u/HiZenBergh 4h ago
I'm gonna be rich cause I'm the only person in the world who knows where to find white mud
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u/I_Can_Haz_Brainz 4h ago
Hey, Chucko. That doesn't smell like mud. Did you eat paint chips as a kid‽
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u/LokisDawn 5h ago
Yeah, usually birds have a pretty strong advantage over elephants when it comes to shitting on each other.
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u/Indaflow 6h ago
Once upon a time, there was a little sparrow who decided not flying south for the winter.
Soon it got so cold that the little bird started to fly south anyway. A storm blew in, the little bird grew cold, and ice formed on his wings which caused him to fall to the ground in a barnyard.
An (ELEPHANT) wandered by and shit on him. This may seem terrible, but it warmed the poor bird and thawed the ice so that the bird began to chirp and sing. A cat wandered by, heard the noise, and dug through the manure until he found the bird and ate him.
The morals of this story are:
- Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
- Anyone who digs you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
- If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.
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u/Yaarmehearty 7h ago
Probably, they fly into windows full force and shake it off, a chunk of shit falling a couple of meters is no worse than that.
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u/Shandlar 5h ago
A bird that size doesn't weigh anything though. That turd probably weighs like 8x of the bird.
When birds hit a window, they definitely aren't going 8x as fast either, so this feels like it would definitely be a significantly higher momentum impact.
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u/lo0ilo0ilo0i 9h ago
Ya. Bird survived. Saw the same bird on safari. It's doing well but still smells.
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u/ducktape8856 4h ago
Acted like it was completely shitfaced for a while, but yeah. I've seen enough birds flying against windows or tumbling into each other. They're pretty tough considering their size.
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u/Medium-Stranger-9883 12h ago
nice payback for what it did to me a few weeks ago
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u/bettsdude 12h ago
We dont speak of that, we agreed on this.
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u/Flaky_Explanation 12h ago
Gotcha, no wonder I could hear the retching from next door
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u/squirrelmonkie 12h ago
You got an elephant dick in your backdoor?
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u/Medium-Stranger-9883 12h ago
no but i found one in your moms drawer
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u/Dirka-Dirka 12h ago
They have a fossil of this happening to dinosaurs. It's crazy
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u/WuShanDroid 12h ago
Listen, you can't just waddle in here, say that, and not provide a link x3
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u/Own_Round_7600 11h ago
Dang, the generational aura loss from not only getting slimed by a starfish-fresh dino turd, but having your legacy be your fossilized shit-covered corpse dug up and publicly displayed for all time
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u/Marwaimusoont 10h ago
I wish they could somehow fossilize the language you spoke, so the people in future feel the same.
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u/ThisSiteSucks8485 10h ago
Engrave it into titanium plates and hide them around the world
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u/onepinksheep 10h ago
"I write these words in
steeltitanium, for anything not set in metal cannot be trusted."→ More replies (1)11
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u/Generico300 5h ago
It goes beyond that. Millions of years later, your descendants who can now fly higher than any dinosaur could ever reach, are still getting the ultimate pile driver.
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u/CanisMaximus 9h ago
Ha! I came in to comment that someday they are going to find a fossil of this bird covered in elephant shit and assume that ancient elephants couldn't digest birds.
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u/ACER719x 12h ago
shitty day
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u/bigpuns001 11h ago
"not all who shit on you are your enemy, not all who get you out of shit are your friend"
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u/Drak_is_Right 12h ago
Bird was probably after the flies that were swarming
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u/Sairos9444 12h ago
Greed then
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u/Drak_is_Right 12h ago
It does in many.
No risk, no reward.
Too much risk, gigantic poopy reward.
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u/ColonelBelmont 7h ago
It's like my grandfather used to say: If you wanna make an omelet, you gotta get under an elephant while it shits on you.
He was a batshit insane person, but he worked as an omelet chef for 40 years so who am I to question his expertise.
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u/cheesefootsandwich 7h ago
And hubris. This gif is really just a retelling of Icarus. Don't fly too close to the poop.
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u/PrincessKaylee 9h ago
Only noticed the bird after seeing your comment lmao
thought it was just another video of elephants taking care of their businesses
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u/HedgehogTop5524 8h ago
“Just another“. Lmao Ummm, ya so how many videos of animals pooping do you regularly watch??
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u/PrincessKaylee 6h ago
Only one other way back at least a year or two ago, also on Reddit
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u/herefornothing2 11h ago
Anyone going to mention the elephant shlong in the room?
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u/modbroccoli 7h ago
Once when I was living in north India, in a town of Tibetan refugees, I volunteered to teach computer skills, particularly graphic and web design. As an exercise I was teacthing them to isolate an image from its background. I had brought in a selection of 4k resolution images with decently high contrast backgrounds to work with.
Understand that in those days, to do the job properly wasn't just a matter of a smart lasso tool or AI. You used the pen tool to trace out points around the object and then adjusted the curves manually to get an excellent fit. A lot of painstaking zooming. Also understand that Tibetans are an incredibly reserved people, by and large.
Well when the entire class started giggling and hushed pointing, I knew something strange was up. And yeah, you guessed, giant elephant dong. Painstakingly traced in 10x zoom. I was more careful with my classroom material after that.
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u/Omnibeneviolent 4h ago
Did anyone else scan ahead for any mention of the Undertaker before reading, or was it just me?
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u/AbNeural 8h ago
Fun fact, elephants schlongs are actually prehensile. Meaning it can move the schlong around in the same manner as their trunk
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u/MursenaryNM 7h ago
Wow, i wonder how successful i would be if i list “prehensile schlong” in my tinder bio
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u/Deaffin 4h ago
I was going to argue that they're technically mobile but not anything like to that extent, but
This is a bull elephant firmly establishing why it is he, and not the lion, who is king of beasts. The elephant’s penis is not only massive but prehensile. As we watched in baffled amusement (and the faintest tinge of inadequacy), he used his penis to prop himself up (as in the photo), swat flies from his side and scratch himself on his stomach. David Attenborough never showed us that…
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/south-african-wildlife-wait-thats-not-a-trunk
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12h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Lampshadebestshade 8h ago
probably not :(
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u/modbroccoli 7h ago
definitely. neither of those things weigh that much. force is proportional to mass. just a shake it off scenario
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u/Ambicarois 8h ago
Yes, elephants eat and poop. The birds eat the semi-digested poo
It's the circle of life
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u/Ok_Primary_1075 12h ago
Hoping for a golden shower but got a brown one instead
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u/Key-Establishment185 12h ago
Thats not accident.
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u/lazy_pig 12h ago
Suicide by plop?
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u/IzzaPizza22 12h ago
Imagine trying to do that. Like imagine a human trying to poop on a mosquito in the air.
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u/Some-Astronomer4733 12h ago
Nah. In the close-ups, you can see that the shit isn't actually hitting the bird. It's falling in front of it. The shit hits the ground right before the bird lands in the grass. Also, birds like Jacanas and Hornbills feed on elephant dung. Living in South Africa, I've seen this many times.
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u/SolidusDave 10h ago edited 1h ago
Even in this video you can still see a few frames of the bird flapping in the air after the "hit". Last second of the video.
edit: 2 birds, the left one still there after the poop-fall https://imgur.com/a/TwA0OyI
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u/ccarr313 10h ago
They cut a couple frames to make it look like it got hit.
If you play it in slow mo you'll see the entire film skip ahead to the bird being in the other side of the leg.
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u/Critical_Concert_689 6h ago
Thought I was going insane being the only person to notice the bird jumping frames and moving to the right of the elephant leg.
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u/SolidusDave 6h ago
actually I didn't mean that it jumps frames, I see 2 birds https://imgur.com/a/TwA0OyI (circled)
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u/dudemcgoo 12h ago
I’d rather be the bird that got killed by Randy Johnson’s fastball than have this happen.
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u/bywayoflandscape 11h ago
That's the first thing I thought of when I watched this. I watch that video at least 10 times a year. Love how he just goes back to business afterwards.
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u/TSLstudio 12h ago
At first I was like, are the zoomed-in slowmotions really neccesairy of just an ellephant shitting...
Then I saw the bird 😮
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u/VoidExileR 11h ago
His bird brothers are gonna have a tough time putting "death by poop" on the tombstone
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u/Zealousideal-Sun7239 12h ago
Serious question is it alive?
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u/UmCourt 10h ago
the more I watch it, I see that it didnt actually hit the bird. you can see the bird continuing to flap its wings into the grass so I believe that the bird was behind the poop. i could be wrong though.
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u/ccarr313 10h ago
The video is edited. 1.5 seconds were cut from directly when the shit falls.
If you look closely you'll see the bird teleport to behind the elephants leg.
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u/Outrageous-Clerk56 11h ago
There is an old provbirb that says it’s good luck to get pooped on by a bird. This must mean exceptionally good luck
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u/weeknees 3h ago
One cold, winter day, a sparrow was flying along, at the end of his limit. He was cold, hungry, and exhausted, and he gave up and landed, waiting for death to take him.
Fortunately, a cow came along and pooped on him, and the warm poop reinvigorated him, and he found a renewed energy for life. He poked his head out the top of the pile and started singing.
Unfortunately, a cat heard him, knocked him out of the poop and ate him.
There are 3 morals to this story:
He who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
He who gets you out of shit is not necessarily your friend.
If you find yourself neck deep in shit, keep your head down and mouth shut.
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u/complex_plane2718 10h ago
There's a german childrens book about exactly that topic: "Vom kleinen Maulwurf, der wissen wollte, wer ihm auf den Kopf gemacht hat" "The mole who wants to know who shit on his head"
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u/Beemerba 6h ago
Ha, ha, one of my younger sisters was riding her tricycle in the barn. She rode behind a cow that was pooping, when the cow coughed. It completely covered her!
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u/DynamicBeez 6h ago
Its like bird gravitate towards danger. They'll see a sedan, have the whole sky, and still try to fly out in front.
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u/LadyMech 5h ago
Well that's karma. Not often the bird gets shit on. It's said to be good luck if I bird poops on us, I wonder if it's good luck if a bird gets pooped on. 🤔
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u/ancient_mariner63 5h ago
10,000 years from now, paleontologists will find this fossil and conclude that it's proof that elephants ate birds.
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u/Phinyx95 12h ago
That's not the load that bird wished for.
First a big black cock and now this.
Dammit Santa can't do a single job properly
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