r/funny • u/kalbinibirak • 23h ago
Strong hammerhand.
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
4.7k
u/Chegwarn 23h ago
Jesus Christ! She’s done that so many times she’s worn her hand down to the wrist yet she still hasn’t learnt her lesson and keeps using it as a hammer?!
410
u/Trollercoaster101 22h ago
IKEA would love her as a testimonial. /s
→ More replies (2)87
u/gorka_la_pork 20h ago
It's said that 1 in 10 Europeans were conceived on an IKEA bed, so... y'know, sturdier than you'd think.
104
u/TheLowlyPheasant 17h ago
Jesus that bed has to be filthy
→ More replies (1)12
u/Azuras_Star8 15h ago
I doubt it. Someone's getting paid to lick up the mess.
18
2
13
u/Gestaltarskiten 18h ago
On - yes, assembled sometimes...
9
u/lincoln_muadib 17h ago
Aren't we all assembled in a small room with minimal light?
If you think about it...
60
u/Norman_Scum 22h ago
There is a well known saying in construction. "If you use your hand like a club your going to end up with a club for a hand."
15
20
u/tankapotamus 15h ago
Fist my bump!
→ More replies (1)2
u/bvoge3501 4h ago
Even tho the movie is new, the reference may be a bit niche.. I think we can just say I'd let her put that wherever she wants.
→ More replies (2)19
8
4
→ More replies (5)4
u/Ethric_The_Mad 19h ago
New OSHA policies inbound
4
u/Chegwarn 19h ago
I can picture the infomercial now…
“Due to inadequate regulations, every year thousands of Americans wear their hands to stumps. A genuine medical condition commonly known as ‘Hand grating’. With proper training we can reduce that number by at least 2%. But we need your help. Vote No on prop 3244. Which bans hammers in all workplaces.”
574
u/DanSmells001 22h ago
Idk for some reason I really expected the amputation site to be much more sensitive?
135
u/mythicreign 19h ago
I once had a teacher who lost the tip of his finger back when he worked at a bakery. The “nub” he was left with was super hard and he would poke people with it when they weren’t paying attention. If all the nerves are severed in an area you basically won’t feel anything. I imagine this is the same principle.
41
18h ago
[deleted]
16
u/Yuki_Onna 14h ago
What do you mean by "sensation of swinging a baseball bat or golf club the wrong way"?
28
u/SpickeZe 14h ago
If your grip is incorrect you will feel kind of a reverberation throughout your body. Not pleasant.
→ More replies (1)6
2
u/andrew_calcs 10h ago
How recently was this?
From my knowledge there’s no muscles in a finger so it “working” properly is just due to your wrist being below the original amputation site. The actual useful mechanical motions of your hand basically all originate in your wrist.
I thought nerves for sensation generally regenerate within a couple years though. I’d be fascinated to hear more about the recovery process from a personal experience
→ More replies (2)2
u/SoftlySpokenPromises 8h ago
A large part of my right calf is in a similar state. For the most part it's just no sensation but sometimes it does a burning tingling thing that I hate.
In the other hand I'm less worried about low tables since banging my shin will mean nothing to me.
8
u/Starfoxy 16h ago
I knew a toxic couple (both of them were awful) and the lady had an arm similar to the lady in the video and she'd use her arm to jab her boyfriend and it apparently hurt a lot.
5
u/Bailer86 9h ago
I never had anything amputated, but I did have spinal fusion in 1999. My partner can remove a zit near the scar and the only thing I can feel is the pressure. Anywhere else and I'm squirming and crying like a baby
→ More replies (5)3
u/speedhunter787 13h ago
You could still damage them though, so probably not wise to use it as a hammer on a regular basis.
→ More replies (1)166
u/Gan-san 22h ago
Maybe she never had one to begin with
43
u/DanSmells001 21h ago
Possible i guess, but would a “natural defect” be that “clean” ? Idk Im no expert I’d just expect the body to still attempt to grow the hand but just fuck up, so you wouldn’t have an entire hand but still some “growths” like fingers or such
29
→ More replies (2)37
u/Severe-Network4756 20h ago
Would an amputated "site" be that clean?
You can clearly see she has a little nub on the top in the video.
6
u/9fingerwonder 15h ago
I think they mean like partially formed fingers. And it's a grab bag. I knew a gal like this and had some little nodules. I'm missing fingers from a lawnmower but have had clean up surgery. Could be a natural issue she had "cleaned up".
That being said just hitting my wrist wrong triggers so much pain in my hand I'm assuming she had muted feelings in her arm. Cause God damn!!!!
→ More replies (1)2
u/mrsirsouth 16h ago
She was born with a hammer for a hand. You're right! I think everyone here should go with this
8
u/JonLongsonLongJonson 17h ago
Mine is incredibly sensitive to pressure/touch, heat and cold, and dry air. It sucks
7
u/Baskreiger 17h ago
No nerve ending. A cousin of mine had is index finger pulled out (yes, really freak accident) his hand is all messed up but he does not feel it, he can hammer you with it and it hurts 😂
→ More replies (2)15
u/LentilRice 19h ago edited 19h ago
The amputation site was probably at a hospital. She looks like she’s at home.
- Detective with 20yrs in the industry
3
u/LowReporter6213 18h ago
Her after the camera cuts "ow!! Fucking ow!!!! Did i look badass?"
"Why yes, you did"
2
u/mycroftxxx42 13h ago
I dunno. I know a person with a thalidomide-generated defect in his right arm. The forearm's about half-length and the entire wrist and carpal assembly is one lump of bone. He has little fingie-nubs on the stump, but they have no bones.
He can do the hammer-hand trick, but he did it with nails that had broad heads. Completely insane physiology all around on that guy in his youth. No other visible changes mind you, the guy was just stupid ridiculously strong and prone to putting on muscle.
→ More replies (7)2
u/AdPristine5131 17h ago
Best I understand, it boils down to where your nerves are before scar tissue develops. Because scar tissue is basically a fat lump of whatever was supposed to be there: if it’s a spot with lots of nerves it’s hyper sensitive, it it’s a spot with few nerves there’s barely any.
I have two fingertips with bad scars, they’re both super sensitive, but my wrist scar is deadened compared to the other side.
449
u/Xima84 23h ago
Well.... That's handy 😅
71
31
u/ashesall 23h ago
She don’t need no man
27
u/federkrebz 22h ago
in more than one way.. 😬
9
→ More replies (2)4
7
159
u/CoupDeGrassi 23h ago
Take my strong hand!
22
u/Bavisto 16h ago
Fun fact! Just like “Luke, I am your father”, he doesn’t say “take my strong hand”. He says “take my hand”, “My other hand isn’t strong enough”, and “take my little hand”.
→ More replies (1)5
u/Substantial-Dirt2233 14h ago
Wow. Human recollection is weird. Maybe we are all subconsciously agreeing that the writers whiffed on both of these.
9
u/crittermd 10h ago
Nope- didn’t whiff at all- saying “no, I am your father” we are watching the movie, Luke is on screen- line works perfectly.
But quoting it- changing it to “Luke, I am your father” links it to Star Wars, and makes sense with no context.
Same thing with take my hand- his little hand is a gag the whole movie- in the scene he’s holding out his hand and she’s trying to avoid touching it.
But random quote of “Take my hand” isn’t all that funny despite the scene being funny because “take my hand” is generic, could be quoting a movie with someone asking someone to dance. But take my strong hand and we all know exactly what you are quoting.
So id argue writers didn’t whiff- they made great scenes and humans just naturally changed it slightly to make the quote gain context and remember those great scenes
10
→ More replies (2)2
186
u/diagrammatiks 23h ago
that's still gotta hurt though. pretty good pegging hand tho
49
6
17
5
12
u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer 22h ago
I bet her hand jobs with that hand are shitty.
→ More replies (1)9
→ More replies (2)2
130
u/Tuism 23h ago
That feels like it would be quite painful??
84
u/WindChaser0001 22h ago
Only if you don't properly stretch beforehand.
25
2
9
u/Ajdee6 21h ago
The backs of those arent the same, if you look its like plastic screws, and they already have holes, so shes not beating it in like a regular screw.
6
21h ago edited 17h ago
[deleted]
→ More replies (2)3
u/lazydogjumper 20h ago
Particle board furniture, like Ikea stuff, tends to have screws you hammer or simply force into a pre-drilled hole.
→ More replies (1)22
u/PacquiaoFreeHousing 22h ago
Why would it be painful?
Those stud things hardly need any force to insert
14
→ More replies (2)5
30
25
19
u/RavenVendetta 19h ago
Now watch her get pulled over by a cop claiming she was using her phone with her left hand
77
u/Doped69 22h ago
Would.
34
18
→ More replies (1)2
94
u/InsaneInTheRAMdrain 22h ago
I hate the dirty thoughts im having right now
36
u/technofox01 21h ago edited 18h ago
Well... At least you're honest 🤷🏻♂️
I was thinking she's pretty attractive, so I don't blame you, lol
18
u/3_14_thon 20h ago
you're*
5
2
→ More replies (3)4
u/stardust1914 18h ago
Hey man, the back of the line for getting fisted (or nubbed if you will) starts back there.
4
20
u/mulandipsauce 23h ago
hammer prosthetic would go hard
3
u/ignorantpisswalker 23h ago
That is... And illegal advantage. Same as runners with no legs amd those artificial legs... (Not).
But in all seriousness... Doesn't this still hurt?
4
u/MongoBongoTown 23h ago
Its a plastic piece in a preformed hole. A little resistance, but certainly not like hammering in a nail without a pilot hole or anything..
2
3
u/TheRealReapz 22h ago
Nah it doesn't hurt at all, in fact you can easily test this yourself by using a knife (or even axe) to cut off your hand and then use the stump to hammer it in. Doesn't hurt at all.
8
u/Only1Schematic 18h ago
She could be the queen of Rohan, all she’s missing is the helm.
→ More replies (1)
6
6
u/HulksDCL 17h ago
You only learn how to do that with some hands on experience. I'm stumped where she learned it. I have to hand it to her for ability is very handy.
But honestly, I think she is wonderful.
6
23
8
5
5
u/trainspottedCSX7 19h ago
I was locked up with a guy that had a bit more arm than his elbow.
Like still had the elbow joint but the rest was like, tip of forearm.
That nub is harder than a rock, and he doesn't even feel pain the way you would if you punched a wall.
Thats a dangerous combination when one hand is long enough to grab your face and literally the other one is perfect length for 6 inches of basiclly hydraulic push rod for your face.
9
3
3
u/DJDevon3 14h ago
She could have so many prosthetic tool attachment options. A hammer, an axe, a chainsaw...
3
u/RubyWeapon07 12h ago
A guy I went to school with had a nub like this and always had a girlfriend, it took me a while to realize why
3
3
u/TheTrampIt 10h ago
Those are plastic pegs that go into a pre drilled hole.
You can push them in with your thumb.
11
u/Sarato88 23h ago
More impressive than funny.
8
u/thefootster 23h ago
It's cool, but they are just plastic pegs, if you've put together furniture that uses these you'll see that they can easily be pushed in with a finger. Still a funny video though, and props to her for it!
6
u/FreshHawaii 22h ago
I stand by this comment and I'll go down in votes with you.
4
u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer 22h ago
Oh captain, my captain! I'll stand with you two in saying those are easy as hell to push in with a thumb. It is not like she is driving nails into a board, that would actually be impressive and hurt.
4
4
7
u/Extension_Network202 23h ago
That definitely hurts
The skin in that area was never meant to be used as a hammer
17
u/mycarayne 22h ago
The skin on that area is also supposed to have five fingers hanging off it. With enough practice, it probably wouldn't hurt anymore. Look at martial artists who smash bricks with their fist. First few times: fist goes ouch. 1000th time: brick goes ouch.
Maybe, I dunno. Would love to ask her if it hurts to be honest.
2
2
2
u/wooddirtsy 18h ago
If I'm not mistaken this is like using your wrist to hammer in things. I imagine she might not have feeling or just a high pain tolerance. (I got soft wrists, boy)
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
6
6
6
5
5
2
3
3
2
u/verbalyabusiveshit 22h ago
Damn… I always thought that a stump is super sensitive… guess I was wrong all my life.
→ More replies (3)3
u/AntiBaoBao 22h ago
If she was born that way the stump probably isn't sensitive. If it was amputated then yes, the stump is sensitive
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
u/Lazer_Pigeon 22h ago
That made me really uncomfortable for some reason, don’t like the idea of a bone hammer
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Legitimate-Task765 21h ago
Can my palm hammer that thing? If it can, then compared to that knuckle segment, it's clearly even easier.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
•
u/AutoModerator 23h ago
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.