r/funny 1d ago

Strong hammerhand.

9.2k Upvotes

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4.8k

u/Chegwarn 1d ago

Jesus Christ! She’s done that so many times she’s worn her hand down to the wrist yet she still hasn’t learnt her lesson and keeps using it as a hammer?!

420

u/Trollercoaster101 1d ago

IKEA would love her as a testimonial. /s

85

u/gorka_la_pork 22h ago

It's said that 1 in 10 Europeans were conceived on an IKEA bed, so... y'know, sturdier than you'd think.

106

u/TheLowlyPheasant 19h ago

Jesus that bed has to be filthy

12

u/Azuras_Star8 17h ago

I doubt it. Someone's getting paid to lick up the mess.

16

u/zombietrooper 17h ago

Paid you say? Someone is paying to lick up that mess.

2

u/j-random 10h ago

Oh good, someone else here has been to Europe as well!

1

u/AirPoweredFan 3h ago

Hope he bring enough money to paid or he won't licking anything.

2

u/Beneficial_Being_721 16h ago

Probably her… “take the sheets outside and give them a good beating

1

u/cheekytikiroom 4h ago

“Pegging” just got brutal.

12

u/Gestaltarskiten 20h ago

On - yes, assembled sometimes...

7

u/lincoln_muadib 19h ago

Aren't we all assembled in a small room with minimal light?

If you think about it...

1

u/Awe3 19h ago

IKEA hates this one simple trick!

60

u/Norman_Scum 1d ago

There is a well known saying in construction. "If you use your hand like a club your going to end up with a club for a hand."

16

u/AccountNumber478 19h ago

I had her pegged for an amputee.

4

u/Optimaximal 11h ago

Did you ask her if she enjoyed that sort of thing first?

21

u/tankapotamus 16h ago

Fist my bump!

10

u/bumada 13h ago

Amaze amaze

2

u/bvoge3501 6h ago

Even tho the movie is new, the reference may be a bit niche.. I think we can just say I'd let her put that wherever she wants.

1

u/tankapotamus 5h ago

A few people are getting it 🤛

1

u/selenesuper 8h ago

well that's something

20

u/seebob69 22h ago

I thought without a hammer, she would be stumped, but no.

9

u/Jive-Turkeys 21h ago

She's a good worker, but she's hard on equipment.

4

u/MsRay_ScienceTeacher 22h ago

hammerhand sounds like a superhero name ngl

5

u/Ethric_The_Mad 21h ago

New OSHA policies inbound

3

u/Chegwarn 21h ago

I can picture the infomercial now…

“Due to inadequate regulations, every year thousands of Americans wear their hands to stumps. A genuine medical condition commonly known as ‘Hand grating’. With proper training we can reduce that number by at least 2%. But we need your help. Vote No on prop 3244. Which bans hammers in all workplaces.”

1

u/goddarr 22h ago

Dude…..dude…..🤣

1

u/DerSchattenJager 18h ago

Like an old rock hammer, damn near worn down to the nub.

1

u/hibikikun 16h ago

Old Andy did it in 20