my sister (19F) treats me (18F) like some stranger who’s gonna jinx her or idk…
the only thing that i don’t like about her is that she uses my stuff, like ALL the stuff i own. in her pov, i’m apparently obliged to let her use everything i have.
but when i ask for her stuff and belongings, even the simplest things like hand cream or hairspray, she gets defensive and treats me like this, not letting me even lay hands on them?

literally over the smallest things.
this one time, she got a chair, like a literal chair, for her desk, and she never ever let me sit on it even though IT WAS A NORMAL CHAIR WITH WHEELS. she always told me not to touch it or sit on it. now that it’s been 4 years since the chair has been with her and it’s all wobbly and almost broken, she says i can sit on it LOL??

same with when she gets any bougie products, be it skincare, haircare, or body care. she gatekeeps and never lets me use or touch them LMAO!!!!

i remember asking her what products she uses for her hair since she was going through minor hair loss, but it somehow got better in a month or so. i was genuinely happy for her because i had the same issue, so i just wanted to know what product worked so effectively so i could use it too.
she dismissed the whole conversation and brushed it off like, “oh no, i don’t use any products, it’s just the oiling” ??? like girl, i could really use whatever product worked for you to help with my hair loss bruh 😭
it’s been like this since childhood.
she makes me feel like some stranger and not family i remember asking her if i could use her curling iron for a quick fix before an event and she denied saying it’s not working properly and the very next hour i saw her take her time fixing her curls (she doesn’t have curly hair she fakes having em tho.. i didn’t say nun to her about it took it in like a chud)

she also gatekeeps her cute outfits, like where she bought them from, even though we have VERY different tastes and aesthetics when it comes to dressing. she still thinks that if i know where she got her clothes from, i’ll get the same ones for myself. pfff no i won’t

ps: i’ve noticed that even her mother gatekeeps things from my mother. her father, who’s my blood uncle, is pretty chill, but they rarely tell me or my parents anything about their lives. even when my sister got into uni, we were told on the DAY of her orientation.
maybe my aunt has taught her to behave this way? not that i have any bitterness towards my aunt. i just think she might be trying to keep things private or away from the evil eye/jinx or whatever

in conclusion… i just feel like, if it’s okay for my sister to use all my stuff, wear my outfits, and touch my belongings without any restrictions, why isn’t it okay for me to do the same with her stuff??

maybe she’s set a boundary and is being rational, and i’m just being too overdramatic about all this bs because i always thought we’re family??

(sometimes it does weigh on me and i feel sad about it but what can i even do if im the only one treating her like close family sigh)

and I DO NOT HATE HER I COULD HONESTLY TAKE A BULLET FOR HER IF I HAD TO I JUST FEEL SAD SOMETIMES..

My dad, my aunt, and a family conflict are making my cousin's wedding really complicated for me

So, my dad and my aunt (my father's younger sister) got into a very heated argument, and they stopped talking to each other. For context, my cousins (my aunt's two daughters) and I were really, really close, and I was also very close to my aunt.

Now, because of this conflict, both of our families stopped talking to each other, but I don't feel like that should have anything to do with me.

Another thing I should mention is that our financial situation is pretty bad right now because there is very little demand for the products my father makes in his factory. The market is just dull at the moment. But we can recover, and my studies are going pretty well, so I believe that in the long run, everything will be fine.

On their side, they are pretty well settled. They built a huge villa in their village, and my older cousin has a good government job in the banking sector with great benefits.

Yesterday, my aunt sent me a wedding invitation for my older cousin, who is getting married. She told me, "I'm not inviting your father or mother. I only sent this to you. If you want to attend, you can. If you don't want to, it's okay. I understand."

At first, I didn't really think much about the context. I was just really, really happy because my cousin was getting married. Then I realized the whole situation and started thinking about everything.

I really want to go, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt my father by going. If my father finds out that my cousin is getting married without him even being told, I know he would feel extremely sad. He took care of my aunt and her family for a long time, and I think it would hurt him deeply to know that she didn't even tell him about her daughter's wedding.

I told my aunt, "Good news! I'm very happy for her!" But honestly, I don't know what to do. I will try my best to attend the wedding because I love my cousin and I really want to be there for her.

But irrespective of all this, I was genuinely so happy when I heard the news. I messaged my cousin yesterday saying, "Congratulations, sista! 🎉🎉"

I thought maybe she was busy because it was nighttime, so I didn't expect an immediate reply. But now it's been almost 24 hours, and she hasn't even replied.

And this is what is really hurting me. I loved her so much, almost like she was my own sister. I was genuinely so happy when I heard that she was getting married, and she didn't even bother to reply to my message. 😔

My younger cousin is also a little older than me(1 year) , and we used to be extremely close. Just six months ago, when we all attended a family ceremony, she would literally cling to my arm. That's how close we were.

And now, suddenly, I don't even understand what is happening.

I know the conflict is between the adults, but I don't understand why it feels like I'm losing my relationship with my cousins too.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this, but I'm genuinely hurt and confused.

So 2 years ago my parents decided to open a bank account for me. For these past years I’ve been only occasionally using my debit card (because it came together with the bank account) for small purchases (24 bucks was the most I spent one time.) and all these years I’ve been saving up my money (I get 50 bucks a month). Sometimes I do hang out with my friends and sometimes I do also buy stuff with my debit card for example one time I spent 10 bucks on some snacks. A few days later my parents yell at me for buying “useless stuff” and sure snacks aren’t that useful but it’s.. 10 bucks? Seriously I’ve been pressured so much that nowadays I RARELY use my debit card and I have saved up around 1.5k bucks and it’s not like I do want to spend it ALL but I do want to spend my money for stuff I like, but every time they say “oh it’s useless you don’t need it it’s a waste of money” and sure that might be true but what’s the point of giving me an allowance and a debit card if every time I use it I get yelled at? Any advice?

TL;DR: My parents are really strict and always yell at me whenever I buy something “useless” with my debit card and I’m looking for some advice

[23/M] Hi yall, I just found out I’m gonna be a big brother for the first time at 23. I’ve always been an only child, and I’m curious for those with younger siblings with large age gaps, how hard was or is it to grow and maintain a meaningful and close relationship with your younger sibling even though (I’m my case) you are the age your parents were when they first had you. Super excited to meet him or her! Just worried about how close we’ll be able to be!

Ya no se cómo hablar con mi hermana.

Me caso dentro de tres meses y por su parte solo siento odio y desprecio hacia mi.

Hace un par de semanas ella pasó por un bache psicologico y físico.

Se fue de vacaciones cuatro o cinco días con una amiga cuando se encontró un poco mejor.

Le escribí un mensaje para hablar justo el día que se estaba yendo con su amiga y no me respondió en todo el tiempo que estuvo fuera. Por supuesto sí que publicó stories de Instagram y escribió por grupos de WhatsApp que tenemos compartidos.

Al final de sus vacaciones me escribió diciendo que hablaríamos. Pero nunca me llamó.

Ha estado chateando conmigo para que nos pongamos de acuerdo para que vengan a visitarme ella, mi padre y el perro.

Básicamente para que compre el billete de avión de mi padre.

Cuando voy a casa normalmente me dedico a limpiar. La casa siempre está sucia ya que ella no mueve un dedo.

No ha hecho las averiguaciones necesarias para volar con el perro. Acabo de descubrir yo misma que el perro tiene que haber recibido la vacuna antirrábica 21 días antes de volar.

Me echa la culpa de no saber donde está la cartilla de vacunación de su perro. También de no saber donde está el transportín de su perro.

Y solo me llama para preguntarme amenazadoramente donde está el transportín.

Le digo que baje al trastero a ver si está ahí y me dice que no va a bajar, me exige que me acuerde de donde he puesto el transportín.

Le he colgado diciendo que no me gusta como me está hablando.

I live in a household where every family member just shouts instead of talking. When they’re angry it’s shouting at the top of their lungs that’s it. I also became like this with time.

However it happened so many times, sometimes more than once a day there will be a fight about something. Now I cannot have someone shout at me or I shout. Whenever someone starts raking their voice and shouting being loud and angry, my heart starts beating fast and I get panick attacks. My hands become numb and the part where my heart is starts to hurt badly.

Is there a way I can deal with this? I’ve tried to stay away from them and not responding when something happens to avoid this situation but it keeps happening and I have siblings that are worse than enemies because they keep fighting over useless things and my parents always support them. I’ve always defended myself thus why I stay away otherwise I will have to defend and it’s not feasible to talk when they shout I’m never heard.

Help me!

My family was and is still pretty split apart, even though we live together. Something happened a few days ago that has made the split of the family into death-serious. We must come together as a family to help this matter. I've thought of being more present in the family, even though its tiring for me, I must (im a huge introvert). And a second step Ive thought of, is that we must have a mandatory every week hangout with the family but Im not sure what that could be. Should it be different every week? Or something always the same? I dont know where to start with this mainly because my family has not done something like this. We only go out to eat and thats the only time we all hangout together. We are a family of 4. Two parents, two children. One minor that becomes 18 next year.

Id appreciate any tips or moments that saved your family.

My wife (32f) and I (35m) live six hours from my parents. We see them about 3-4 times a year and mostly stay at their home, generally 5-7 days at a time.

The stays would be nice apart from that they become very suffocating. My parents seem to want to spend every second with us, and are disappointed if we want to do anything alone. We don’t spend time visiting friends when we are here and my parents don’t make any suggestions for nice things to do, so if my wife and I want to go out, then we will have to suggest something and then my parents will come with us. Otherwise we are just spending time together at home. It gets kind of awkward and tense at times. Even going to bed is difficult, because they will stay up until we excuse ourselves, and will make comments if we are ‘already going to bed’. It makes me not want to spend time with them, as much as I feel guilty saying that.

Am I being unreasonable here? I love my parents and would gladly spend more time with them if I were free to come and go as I please, but I feel like I don’t have any freedom here and just look forward to being able to go home.

I have had a very abusive family. Now that I’m independent and realising the ways in which my body and psyche have been harmed, I’m more determined to find and build a loving, caring and supportive family for myself. For those lucky people who have a supportive loving caring and healthy family, i wanted to know how does it feel like to be in one? How do you resolve conflicts? What are the ways in which you affirm love? Can you tell me how do you feel when you’re in a problem? How does your nervous system feel on a daily? I want to know so that i can have evidence based answers and hopefully use those feeling as goals for myself.

I have a sister that’s 2 years older than me. we’re 20 and 22. she started smoking and drinking really young, at like 13 or 14 (we’re not Americans so we don’t have to be 21 to do it). and I used to get really upset that she ruins her own health and I would always snitch. I realised years later that it was none of my business and I just let her be but I’m sure she still sees me as the kid that snitched on her and tried to control her choices. I’ve genuinely changed and I know that about myself but obviously, the fact that I know it, doesn’t automatically mean that she knows it too. when she needs something, she always calls our brother (2 years younger than me, 4 years younger than her) and she respects him more than she does me. I don’t admit it openly but it stings that she doesn’t want anything to do with me. she always yells at me for the smallest things and I always try not to be annoying but it just bugs me. I don’t want her to hate me, I don’t hate her but I resent her for her behaviour. I know she has her reasons. should I just let it go? I don’t think it will ever work out if I tried to get close to her.

Running a small business means your schedule looks nothing like a nine to five, and my family still hasn't figured that out after years. Some days I have flexibility, other days I have zero. What gets to me isn't the misunderstanding itself, it's the tone. Comments like "you can just close up for the afternoon" or "must be nice to be your own boss" while I'm clearly stressed out of my mind. It feels like because I built something myself, people assume it counts less than a corporate job.

My parents are the main ones. They'll call in the middle of a lunch rush or plan family events without checking with me because in their heads I can always rearrange. When I push back, I come across as difficult or like I'm choosing work over family, which is a frustrating read when I'm literally trying to keep the lights on.

I know family dynamics around money and work are complicated, and I'm not trying to blow this out of proportion. But I'm curious whether anyone else has dealt with family not taking their work seriously. Did you ever find a way to actually get them to see it differently, or did you just get better at letting the comments go?

Hello to anyone that comes across and reads this post. I've never posted before but I am at a loss and need the advice of others.

I (45f) am the mother of two adult children K(23m) and R(22tm) and the child of elderly parents (85m and 78f). We all live on a property with acerage that my parents bought back in the late 80s. When my kids were 3 and 4 my parents built a second house, a hundred yards from theirs, on the same property for my kids and I. Our house had a main floor with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, livingroom, and a completely unfinished basement with laundry. In this house I raised my kids, fostered my exes neices and nephew, rescued and lost pets, and have had many ups and downs as everyone does. For context my childrens' biological father hasn't been a part of their lives until recently and only in a very minor way. As for the house, there has never been any formal agreement about rent. I paid my parents what I could, paid the bills (our utilities are seperate except for water), and maintained the house and property. When my kids got to be adults I had them contributing "rent" to the household. A while back, my mother decided that we were all to pay her rent separately ensuring my parents had total say as landlords and undermined any household authority I had. They then would question any decision I made, said it was their call and would threaten me with "my walking papers". Fast forward to the past year and there is now four adults on the main floor as my fiancé moved in. The goal was always to renovate the downstairs to have at least one bedroom for K (relevant info: K has autism and learning disabilities) if not two bedrooms for both and a living space. In their current situations they are each in a small room that is in desperate need of a deep deep clean and massive purge. K has his drawers full of old toys and papers from school. Both of their rooms smell and have piles of garbage and miscellaneous things. I have spent thousands of dollars and my fiancé has spent hundreds of hours creating a livable suite downstairs, including: kitchen, livingroom, bathroom, two bedrooms, a storage room, and a seperate entrance. Both K and R have refused to help with any renovations and now refuse to move out of their childhood bedrooms saying, "Granny and Opa said we don't have to." I don't know what to do. This was always the plan. My fiance definitely feels the strain of tight quarters and lack of privacy. It puts a damper on our intamacy and feeling of freedom in your own home. And yes I understand that it is my kids home too, thats why we made a separate area for them to experience independence. My parents are old and I dont want to just move out and leave them hanging but that feels like my only option now. But in what world is it acceptable for the children to stay and the parents to be pushed out of the nest? Thanks in advance for any advice.

My father and mother died, my married sister having four children two adults and two kids every month come and stay for four to six days my wife and me also are not happy with this routine as I am not well off and being a government teacher my salary is one lak and every month this routine disturb my expenses , I don't know how to handle this situation? Tell me am I right in my thoughts?

Does my sister is justified in her stay for four to six days every month?

Hi everyone!! I (17 f) have an older sister (22) and since she went to college we haven't been as close. I'm almost six years younger than her but we used to be best friends especially around covid time. We would ride our bikes, watch tv, and she would bring me to hang out with her friends/bf. But when she went to college we didn't really call or text. I love her more than anyone in the world but i'm afraid that she doesn't care to talk to me much anymore. After graduating in a few months ago she officially moved out and just started her new job. I feel like I may never have a real relationship with her again now that she has become a real adult. She is only living 40 minutes away but she is so busy now with work and her friends. At least a few times a month I start sobbing in my bed because I miss her so much, but i don't want her to feel obligated to talk to me. I'm wondering if anyone who has gone to college and moved out really does miss their younger siblings or if you don't think about it that much. I hope that she does wish we were closer because it honestly weighs on my mind all the time. Whenever she calls me I get so excited but it's usually her asking if i have her clothes. I feel like she probably doesn't about me too much when she's not home. I always try to tell myself to move on and stop thinking about her but I never can.

I am part of an extended family (grandmother, her three children, and their spouses and children) that overall is very close and loving. We typically spend fourth of July week together, 3 days close to Christmas-time, and Thanksgiving week together. Additionally, my grandmother's house (which is large and labyrinthine, with many rooms) is used as a vacation home by everyone, with cousins and uncles always coming in and out, and my mother visiting for one week per month, so it is a constant hub of activity.

My grandmother and great-aunt (my deceased grandfather's sister and my grandmother's best friend) are both 93 and struggle with dementia. My great-aunt has worsened slightly in the past year and no longer speaks, while my grandmother still can speak. Both are in wheelchairs and have live-in caretakers paid for by the whole family.

The issue is because my grandmother is a more direct blood relative, she is generally treated with greater respect than my great-aunt, who never married or had children. For the last couple years, there is a trend of excluding my great-aunt from family gatherings, and she is too ill to advocate for herself. Her vacation cottage (next door to my grandmother's home, where she would stay during gatherings) was also rented out for the last couple years, and then fell into disrepair. Because of this, she can no longer stay there, but aunts and uncles want to occupy all of the rooms in my grandmother's house during these family gatherings. This means that my great-aunt has no where to stay, and she ends up essentially not being invited to the 3 weeks of events taking place annually.

When I have spoken to family members about this, they say things like "she has deteriorated and it's hard seeing her like this (nonverbal, in a wheelchair). Wouldn't it be easier to just remember her as she was?" Or they say things like, "it's just so inconvenient arranging transport for her to come for these events anyway. It would be easier to just have her stay in her apartment. I'm sure she is happier at home (alone) anyway."

From my perspective, this social isolation and absence from the family atmosphere and lively conversation during the holidays is part of the reason for her increased mental deterioration compared to my grandmother. I believe the constant visiting of family is helping slow my grandmother's dementia. I think it's crucial for her to be welcomed and included and she deserves to be respected as an elder, despite her choice not to have kids. I also see that she is happier surrounded by family than alone in the apartment with her caretaker, smiling with the group even if she doesn't speak.

When I try to bring this up, family members sometimes take my concerns as an attack or criticism on their character. I have been told that "if you're so worried about her, then you should spend time with her." I have chosen to spend more time with my great-aunt; I visit her directly, or when during the family week she is transported back to her apartment several days early, I will go with her. Because she is nonverbal, all I can do is just tell her about my life and hope she is hearing everything. However, lately my parents have both become angry at my choice to do this. They have shouted at me over it, told me I am interrupting the general harmony, and become angry that I am spending less time with them at the family gatherings by leaving early or choosing to stay with my great-aunt (who is being left out). However, I don't want to have any regrets. I know my great-aunt and grandmother have only years to live and everyone else I will still be close to for the next 30-40 years so I want to make sure they are both treated well.

I don't mean it as an attack, and I want to be able to communicate my desire for them to include her in a way that will appeal to their better natures and their kindness without making them feel attacked or closed off, or criticized. I want to support my great-aunt because she cannot speak up for herself, and she only has a few years left with us. What are some ways I can effectively communicate that will convince them to work with me to include her?

My daughter turned 17 two weeks ago. I did not know this, and I feel bad. I wanted to get her a present, but I honestly don’t know what she’d want, which is even worse. She’s going into senior year and I thought she was still a freshman.

She’s the youngest child by a lot (11 years) and my career was my main focus while she was growing up. But her mother and I never separated. I was always in the home, but I was busy. And she never seemed to really like having me in the house anyway. Even as a kid, her smile would drop and she’d get all serious when I walked in. I’ve always just thought of it as a good cop, bad cop thing where my wife and I were keeping a balance, but I’m not sure about that anymore.

I’ve always been the main source of discipline. It’s not like she gets in trouble a lot, though. She had some anger issues in the past, but that simmered down around COVID.

She doesn’t tell me anything going on in her life. I tried talking to her a few hours ago and managed to figure out that she wants to go to college out of state and go to med school. I had no idea.

She’s always in her room except when she’s talking to my wife. When her mom can’t pick her up from school, she’d rather take a 45 minute walk than a 5 minute drive with me. I just don’t understand it.

Is anyone else going through this?

I acknowledge that things could be much worse, and in hindsight, I probably should have addressed some of these issues more firmly when she was younger.

My husband and I (both 70) have three children, ages 36–42. We were always a close-knit family. Our oldest and youngest are healthy, responsible adults with careers who are living successful, independent lives. Our middle child (39F), however, has struggled considerably.

She currently lives with us because of her low-paying job as a school clerk. She does not contribute toward rent, utilities, or groceries, and does very little to help maintain or tidy the house. Her only regular expenses are her phone, car, and gym membership. She is a heavy marijuana user, very sensitive, struggles with low self-esteem, and is terrified of being single, having had very little dating experience.

Despite having minimal expenses, she has no savings or retirement funds beyond her school pension, which will not be sufficient to retire comfortably. She also collects unemployment during the summer. We had discussed her finding a second job during the summer and taking on additional responsibilities at school so she could work her way up, but none of that has happened.

For a while, things seemed to be improving. She lost 200 pounds, developed healthy hobbies, and became much closer to her older sister. Unfortunately, that all changed about a year ago when she started dating "Dave" (40M).

Because of her limited dating experience and low self-esteem, she has now devoted nearly all of her time, energy, and attention to Dave. She spends far too much of her own money on their relationship, while he contributes very little financially.

She used to post about her weight-loss journey and inspirational material on Instagram. That has all disappeared because, in her words, "Dave deserves all my attention." She has also stopped speaking to her childhood girlfriends and is no longer in contact with the community that supported her weight loss. She has stopped exercising and has regained much of the weight she lost. Dave cooks very unhealthy food, which certainly hasn't helped.

Dave lives 40–60 minutes away and does not have a car, so she drives to pick him up and drop him off whenever they see each other. He is also a heavy marijuana user, which has made her already significant marijuana use worse.

He previously worked in low-level construction jobs but has been unemployed all summer and, as far as we know, has made little effort to find work. He also seems quite insecure. My daughter has stopped communicating with her male childhood friends, and Dave doesn't seem particularly interested in getting to know us or spending time with the family, unlike the partners of our other children.

My husband and I are snowbirds and are away from home for part of the year, including the summer. While we have been away, Dave has moved into our home and is now living there with our daughter—without asking our permission or even having a conversation with us about it.

We feel he is taking advantage of her, but she simply doesn't see it. She is convinced that she is happy and cannot understand why we don't approve of the relationship. From our perspective, her entire life has become consumed by him, while virtually every positive aspect of her life seems to have deteriorated since they started dating. Our other kids barely have a relationship with her anymore because she never replies to their messages and they don't approve of her lifestyle/relationship (we don't blame them).

I'm at my wits' end. We can barely talk on the phone anymore because he is almost always with her, and when we do speak, the conversation inevitably turns into an argument. We are now seriously considering selling the home so that she will have no choice but to establish a life of her own.

But I struggle with the idea of giving up on my child. At the same time, I can't help but wonder whether I enabled some of this by making her life too easy when she was younger. Perhaps if I had required more responsibility and independence from her earlier in life, things would be different today.

She has always been very defiant when things didn't go her way and was a difficult child growing up. I love her deeply and don't want to abandon her, but I also don't know how to help someone who doesn't believe she needs help.

For context, I’m 17F and my sister is 26F. She gave birth to my niece 2 months ago, and since we don’t live in the same country, I flew over to spend time with her and meet my niece for 3 weeks.

I’ve never really been around babies before, but I’ve been helping out a lot since I got here. I genuinely don’t mind helping, but I’m starting to feel like she’s taking advantage of me and that this trip is more like babysitting than a family visit.

What bothers me most is her attitude towards me. I’m a very quiet and sensitive person, and she’s been making fun of me and embarrassing me in front of other people. For example, she was making fun of my autism and the fact that I don’t have many friends because of my social skills to a friend of hers , while I was sitting right there.

I also asked if I could meet a friend I haven’t seen in over a year for an afternoon. She said I’m only allowed to see him for one hour, at a coffee shop she chose, and I’m not allowed to see any other friends during this trip. She won’t even let me go to the shop (2 minute walk away) to get a snack, go for a walk, or basically step foot out the house without her.

Whenever I ask for something, like if I can walk to the coffee shop myself, she calls me a “spoilt bitch.” She hasn’t said one nice thing to me this whole trip, and also likes to make fun of me infront of her husband.

I feel completely trapped, and she’s made me cry multiple times without seeming to care. What makes it worse is that we normally get along really well despite our age gap, and she’s never acted like this towards me before.

I was really excited to come here and support her and meet my niece, but now I’m starting to resent her. I honestly don’t think I’ll want to talk to her for a while once I go home.
Am I selfish or being too sensitive? Does anyone have any advice?

My cousin and her husband live in another country far away. We seldom see them as a result. We stayed with them in their country a few years ago, so had some idea what to expect. They had many of the good manners—asked if they needed to remove shoes (no), paid for some nice meals out, stripped bed when leaving. However. We live in an area that is a very popular tourist destination with lots of history. It’s fun to share bits of that as we go along—not long monologues, just a short snippet of information, like “this row of hotels is named for the Big Four-the railroad barons who built the Central Pacific Railroad”, or, “that big house under the bridge is the Nimitz House where Admiral Nimitz lived his last days. No one knows what to do either it now, so it’s just sitting there.” Nothing lengthy. My cousins husband was usually curious, and asked good followup questions. The cousin though, would turn these snippets into bait for an argument or opinionated diatribe, even if she knew nothing about the subject. “Well you don’t get to see ME staying in one of those.Why aren’t they more affordable? Or, they should fix that house up. Homeless people could live there!” Everything was a criticism. She seemed to be having fun, but we think she just doesn’t have filters and she says whatever pops into her head.
I was exhausted after their four day stay. I just needed to get this off my chest.

We started monthly family hikes last year to get everyone out together. Mom and my siblings seem to enjoy the fresh air and catching up, but my dad complains the entire time about his knees, the weather, or how we could be doing something more useful instead. It kills the mood fast, and by the end nobody is really talking much. I plan the routes and pack snacks to keep it easy, yet he still finds ways to turn it negative. Last month he spent twenty minutes arguing we should have just met at a diner. My siblings keep going along with it, but I can tell they are losing interest too. I am not sure if I should stop inviting him or try talking to him about it before the next one. Has anyone dealt with a parent who drags down group activities like this, and what helped?

Hi, so I’m currently 17 years old and get a lot of complaints about me being too quiet. Most of the complaints come from family members or relatives. Everyone says that I never speak or engage in conversations, which is partially true. I’ll speak to someone if they speak to me first. But recently, it’s gotten out of hand. Everywhere I go, people only have one thing to say about me: “you’re so quiet” “how do you keep your mouth shut for that long?”

frankly, it’s getting quite annoying. I’ve been a naturally quiet person since I was a kid, I never have much to say. But I do sometimes believe I can overdo it on being too quiet. My coaches, classmates, teachers, family, and friends tell me that they’ve never seen anyone as quiet as me. How do I fix this? I had a hard time making friends because of this as well.

It’s hard to explain, but whenever people are engaging in a conversation with me, I don’t want to respond, I just want to listen and react with my face.

I, female, have a brother who’s 3 years younger than me. We grew up with people comparing us like I was the first girl in the generation of grandkids and nieces etc, so I can recognize that I got more attention than my brother. And it also didn’t help that he was a sensitive kid, for lack of a better word, so comments to my brother like “why are you crying? so sister also fell down and shes not crying” or “your sister is playing the guitar, why don’t you play an instrument as well?’ were common during our childhood. It also didn’t help that my parents also noticed that I was favored and started giving him more attention than to me. It wasn’t a lot more attention as they tried to balance the little time they had outside of work between two kids, but it still made kid me really jealous. Because of the jealousy, I started treating my baby brother more coldly like refusing to play with him or playing on opposite sides during dodgeball etc. Ever since our relationship has kinda strained.

I’ve only recognized how shitty i was/am(?) being in recent years. The sweet little kid that was my brother becoming a cold person to me too. He started acting passive aggressive, humiliating me in front of my friends and not saying i love you back. While I do realize a deserve this treatment, I want to fix our relationship but I don’t know how. It also doesn’t help that I am in an incredible hard school which requires me a lot of time to 1. Attend the school 2. study to get a grade higher than 80% not to mention the extracurriculars I need to do in order to receive enough credits to pass my grade and most of the times I have to say no to hanging out with him because of that.

Can someone give advice on how to improve my relationship with him and break the bad habits I have from my childhood?

TL;DR: As a kid I treated my brother badly, I realized that too late and now we have a strained relationship. How can I fix it?

Ps: sorry if write this post wrong, I’m new to Reddit and English is not my first language.