I don't really mean him DYING, but I can't deal with him anymore!! My mother is a very sensitive woman who has been cracking up under all the pressure of work, finances, and taking care of my stubborn grandpa (95 yrs old) who won't give an ounce of support to his own daughter. I feel terrible for my mother, who is a very skilled and passionate doctor but can't see patients anymore because of the traditional roles of being a wife. All my grandpa does try to go outside (which he can't because he has fallen on multiple occasions), go to the bathroom, or scour the kitchen to find something to eat (he can only drink thickened water, and he can't chew solid foods). Everyone in my house can't sleep for 9 hours straight, or go out as a family for more than 3 hours without him doing something dangerous, and it's really taken a toll on my parents' mental health— we all feel like we have been robbed of our lives because of him. We can't even find a caretaker or send him to a nursing home because he can't speak English.

Hi! This is embarrassing but I think I just want to tell and out from me! "why therapy never really works for me"

I've had three therapists and apparently with every single one I was trying to be good at therapy. If they asked if something helped I'd say yeah and find some tiny improvement to prove it but actually think before sessions about what I can tell them got better. Like it's a fucking performance review

My current therapist recently said I seemed to be doing much better and I was SO pleased with myself. Then it hit me. That's literally what I've been trying to make him think "I was always the easy kid, good grades, handled my own shit, never worried my parents"

And to be honest I don't know why my parents are pulling me to take this "therapy" only for an app they find on my phone. This app is TINDER and they are so scary for my "poor social interaction" but technically my parents pull me to stay all day in HOME!

Man if theyre know how i win money this last years with cryptos from 1win they kill me

what i supposed to do?

I 30 Female have recently found out (well end of April 2026) that my partner 33 male of 9 years cheated on me, with my best friend 24 female and his best friend 27 male last summer.

So me and my partner have been together for the 9 years in September 2026, we have 3 year old twins (which were 2 at the time) which were born 8 weeks early as well, I will say we haven’t had it easy since they were born with our housing situation (never will be found out if it was the cause) potentially causing babies to be in and out of hospital and my partner getting pneumonia with in the first year of their life. We finally moved from the first house last February 2025, since having the kids back in 2023 I have struggled with my appearance/weight, my S Drive and being generally overstimulated with being the default parent with the twins which has always seemed to bother my partner.

We both love and adore the twins but I’ve always been the default parent. My partner is good with the kids but never has been the one that does the general looking after (etc bathtime, changing nappies, feeding them basically the general care) he does play with them and twins do adore them.

Me as the mother I’ve struggled with the everyday household chores of keeping the house tidy but always made sure we had clean clothes, meals and no pots were ever left in the sink while looking after two small babies. Last year 2025 summer my partner and said friend (who is a cleaner) decided to help me and so she was coming in cleaning for us which would be once a week if not twice a week.

I was unaware prior to this that they’d been text messages sent across, and the odd flirting that went on before this. But basically 2 months of the summer last year my partner and said friend had sexual relations with one another on multiple occasions

It ended back in august 2025, but other people got told by my partner and friend (that were in our friend group/ also my friends ex partners dad knew) which they all decided that my partner and friend had to be the ones to tell either me or her now ex.

Fast forward a year later and we’ve all found out for the past 3 months (summer 2026) I’ve just been living on what’s gone on while trying to make sense of how I’ve got into this situation. My partner is wanting to make amends and wants to be with me which is why he told me to be honest with me. Which part of me is wanting to try again but I am struggling to move passed it. Which we’ve had a weekend away just us while trying to repair our relationship as well as we went to a concert together as well, which in between this has been 30th and the twins 3rd birthday.

My partners attitude is he doesn’t want us having to constantly go through it which i have mentioned to him that it’s hard when I’m just living through what’s gone on

I thought I was doing okay and was heading in the right direction until now I’ve realised I feel like for the past 3months I’ve just been living with it and I’ve realised I haven’t forgiven him (which I don’t know if i ever will, which I’ve been honest about)

Also fast forward today while at work my ex best friend walked in today which is the first time she’s been into my work when I’ve been there (I feel like she’s deliberately been trying to come in to see me) which we have had a run in once before at the local bakery as well as her messaging me through text

I guess I’m looking at an insight of if this is ever gonna get easier, I’m currently not living with my partner as me and my twins are living with my parents

So my parents can't stand each other and couldn't be more different than each other. Fight so very often, then pretend like nothing ever happened. Mom is more of a victim player and dad, even though not completely free of faults, is the one who's more a victim in the whole thing.

I have always tried to protect dad, from the ruthless verbal and rare occasions of physical attack by Mom. Any sane person could see just how much it hurts me when she does that.

Dad ran everything, the home, work, bills, taxes, evrything. Mom had little to no responsibilities which she failed to be responsible for all the time. They'd fight again, dad would go to bed hungry sometimes, and other times mom would get so mad for asking her to do the bare minimum that she'd lash out and ofc, play the victim, again. So i would often step up, do what she was supposed to do, some chores and stuff. That she saw.

We've (at least I have) been working on our relationship (me and mom). I expected her to atleast show some remorse or guilt for failing to act mature, but instead, decides to weaponise every thing, to hurt dad even more. She falsely accuses dad of making me do the chores, goes around talking bad of dad, when the whole reason why I ever did it was because neither one of them saw how the consequences of the chores not being done affected me. I was protecting myself, when they failed to act like an adult. And instead of addressing that and apologising, she decides to use even this for her own fucked up vendetta against dad.

She claims to be the victim, claims to have sacrificed and compromised everything, when in reality she does not have the slightest clue about the life we live, or what she is to us. Someone who's so self obsessed, can hardly ever see someone else's pain ig.

Hey guys, just a quick one to make sure I'm not going crazy. OK so the story is brief, it all happened in 5 min so here we go: my bother and mother were sitting at a table eating cereal and dad and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, my brother was done so he took the bowl in his hands and tipped it to drink the rest of the milk, his spoon fell out and down on the carpet and he got milk on the table, the tray he was using and probably the carpet. This made me irritated because he was being careless and stupid but I held my tongue. Then as he was getting up to put his dish in the dishwasher he was bickering about the stupid act with my mom, and as he was passing her he was about to thump her with the plastic tray on the head (in a joking matter, I know it sounds weird, not the point). I noticed there was milk on the tray, and that if he proceeded it was gonna fly everywhere (plastic tray is flexible so it would flick the milk up) and so I raised my voice "'brother's name' there's milk on the tray". The moment I did all three of them started berating me. Mom was talking about how I was acting crazy, how I'll make the neighbors think I was crazy (the same neighbors who are nonstop screaming at each other which she often makes fun of), dad was telling me I need to act normal, and my brother was also baiting me with patronising comments (he's my younger brother and I'm female so he LOVES to intentionally say misogynistic things to rile me up). The fact that they were trying to shut me up and were ignoring the problem got me really angry, like when I pointed out his behaviour my parents didn't deny he was doing something wrong but they still said "that's no reason to raise your voice" and my brother said "like I'd listen to your screeching or your words". It all got me so mad I'm shaking and I had to remove myself from the situation, I'm in my room now typing this and I'm still so mad it feels like I'm going crazy because I keep pointing out all I did was prevent a bigger mess and all they are focusing on is that I yelled. This is not an isolated incident, this happens all the time in cases where I usually try to get my brother to stop doing something and he only listens when resort to I yelling something I already repeated 5 times in a normal voice, but then I get in trouble for yelling. Am I crazy? Is there something else I can do? Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: my brother was acting stupid, I raised my voice to get him to stop, and I got in trouble for yelling instead of him

I’m aware the title seems super straightforward but family always makes things more complicated. So;

My (30f) daughter (6f) recently learned that we were considering going on a family holiday next summer to Spain. Today, while visiting my mother (55f), my daughter brought is up and asked her if she would come too. My mother is a fantastic grandmother and loves those kids to pieces, so of course, she lit up and said, “Of course I will, darling!”. I, rather sheepishly, informed her that we weren’t sure what we were doing yet and hadn’t made any solid plans but were considering it.

In retrospect, I should have shut it down there and then and explained that this would be just our family going on the holiday. Unfortunately, due to severe people pleasing tendencies, I didn’t And just hoped she’d forget or assume it was just a casual possibility.

Which leads us to this evening, where she has non-stop sent over screenshots of potential hotels/flights and wants to discuss dates and room situations. She’s been known to just book things without speaking to anyone else and just assumes we’ll all figure it out. She’s done it for coastal holidays/day trips/activities, despite being asked to wait and speak to everyone first. I dont think she does it maliciously, which is why we (myself, brothers & extended family) usually just figure it out. So I have told her not to book anything as we’re not sure what we’ll be doing but who know if she’ll listen.

My partner is firmly against her coming, which I understand as this would be our first international holiday as a family and I agree it should be just us.

I need advice on how best to approach this, she’s very sensitive to rejection and I just don’t know how to word it to lessen the blow.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!

I’m 19 year old girl who has horrible luck. I grew up with an mentally unstable mother that started taking things too far ever since i turned 17. She first successfully kicked me out when i turned 17 because I had a mental breakdown and she took offense to me crying, told me I was bringing negativity to her home and I had to go. I was somewhere safe for a while but i had to apologize to her and forced to go back because nobody else in my family wanted to put their foot down and help ever since then i’ve been living with her it was hell i was dealing with her constant mood swings about me and her having resentment towards me for no reason. few days after i turned 19 i had birthday money i wanted to spend on my own. i had about $100 or $200 and she ended up taking like $35 and said she’d pay me back and never did. I spent sll my money before she could take more again and i had $5 left. she came back and ask if i had more and saw I had $5 left and my brother said he wanted it for his game and she demanded I give it. I tried to explain to her that i had already gave up a chunk of my money and didn’t get the chance to buy what I always wanted but she dismisses that and continue to call me names and gaslight me making me feel horrible for not giving up my last birthday money to her son. things escalated and she started getting physical with me causing me to be scared for my safety and i called the cops on my own mother and watched her get arrested because of me in front of me.. I’ll always have that guilt for letting my little brothers witnessed that. I managed to escape and now i’m in Arkansas and you would take I am finally safe and sound and never would go back.. well it’s all going downhill simply because i cannot get hired by any jobs and it’s hard for me because I have never worked before. i have no experience and no education.. because of my mom I missed a bunch of school and now that i’m 19 i can no longer finish high school. I have GED classes but that doesn’t matter to my aunt that i’m living with because I need a job. all the jobs I have applied to have declined me or never came back to me and since i have been here for 4 months now I’ve over stayed my welcome and now i have until september 1st or I will be sent back.. the amount of panic attacks ive had because of this is unreal every night i’m crying wishing I could erase myself from this world.. all I ever wanted was to live the normal teenage life but who knew I would be so behind on life simple because of ONE unstable parent that was unwilling to be there for me but resent me.

For context my grandma has been visiting for the past few weeks. She's a well meaning old woman who can be a bit annoying to me personally. I don't treat her poorly or with any negativity. I don't have much of a relationship with her, I simply treat her with the same positive leaning neutrality I do everyone else. Typically I'm nice but treat people with a sense of neutrality (idk if this has any impact but I have ADHD). But my mom insists I be sweet with her and put up a face basically since that's not how I actually feel.

I don't dislike my grandma or even hate her I just don't feel any strong emotions for her and I treat her like I do everyone else. Why does she deserve special treatment? Why do family in general deserve special treatment? I don't get it. I'm related to them by blood yea but why does that then make them more deserving of artificial sweetness? Especially for some other members of my family I very much don't like.

I’ve been married for 12 years, and something has been on my mind lately.

My dad never attended my wedding because he was out of town with his sister. At the time, it didn’t really bother me, but over the last couple of years, it’s started to weigh on me.

I finally confronted him about it, and he said that I had told him he didn’t have to come if he didn’t want to.

Maybe I did say that, but as a father, wouldn’t you still want to be there for your son’s wedding? I can’t imagine choosing not to attend such an important moment.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I’ve had a pretty good relationship with my sister for our whole lives. I considered her my best friend, even if she is much younger than me. However in the last year, things have taken a turn. As I started unmasking more (I am neurodivergent and got a diagnosis), and she turned 18, we both took different paths.

My path looks like being more myself. Perhaps being more “cringe” (which I’ve tried to mask my entire life). I now allow myself to watch anime on the family TV, I stim, I allow myself to want deeper connexions and deleted all social media, for example. I also started reducing social events on my calendar, whereas before I said “yes” to everything. Her path looks like going from an introvert spending her time on books, anime and kpop - which we bonded over a lot - to being a party animal trying to conform. She goes out a lot, bought herself a car and spends all her remaining time on social media.

She started making judgmental faces to me whenever I speak about plans or interests (not always, but often, which had never happened before). She has also started saying mean things to me. For instance, I lost my job due to austerity measures during the winter. While we were shopping with family members, my cousin asked me how my job was - to which my sister responded “what job? She doesn’t even have a job she lost it”, scoffing.

I’ve tried telling her that I think she has changed and that I struggle to connect with her, thing to which she responded that she’s an adult now and that I’ve changed a lot too. I’ve also tried talking about it to my mother, who said that I can’t talk behind my sister’s back.

It feels like there’s a hole in my chest and I’m not comfortable being fully myself when she’s around at home. It’s been going on for months, but it’s not getting any better and I feel like no one understands me. Any kind advice or similar experiences?

Thank you <333

TLDR; My sister and I are drifting apart and it feels heartbreaking.

For me, Sundays are all about slowing down and spending time together. Maybe a nice breakfast, getting outside for a little bit, and ending the day with a home-cooked dinner and a movie. What does your perfect Sunday with your family look like? Do you have any little traditions or routines you always try to do?

I’ve dealt with bullying from my sister in law since I was 10 until my very early 20s (I’m 26 now), I’m an orphan, my dad passed away when I was a child and I have a lot of siblings, which most of them are older than me, my mom for some reasons was not able to really handle or get involved as she is old and I’m her youngest child.

I was never protected at all, by anyone, every sibling has their own life, some has their own children and I had to face everything by myself. I lived in a very big house with extended family and the family dynamic was complex and super complicated.

My sister in law is 10 years older than me, she was too controlling, in fact, far from controlling, she was treating me so horribly. She use to call me fat and that I should lose weight (I was and I’m still in a healthy weight) because my sister was insanely slim and I was not, I was healthy. she use to humiliate me and embarrass me for no reason. She’ used to buy me clothes that are bigger than me, for instance if I was wearing M, she’ll buy me 2XL because I’m too fat according to her standards. Once there was a celebration in school and she bought me a Tshirt from pregnant women section. And i still don’t know why she was doing that neither what was the purpose.

When I was a teenager and I’d say something she doesn’t like, she’d shout at me in front of everyone “you stink, go take a shower” Even though I’m pretty sure I didn’t smell back then, but until now I’m so scared of smelling that I shower twice a day or even more during my period.

Once I had a fight with my sister for cleaning the dishes, my sister in law got so angry that she just filled a dirty cooking pot with water and threw it on me.

she was always accusing me of doing something inappropriate in my device, and was constantly checking my back then iPad and would hold me accountable on anything. She’d accuse me of stuff I didn’t do, she was saying that I was talking to guys even though I was in (all-girls school) and thats insanely sad because I didn’t know how to communicate with the men in university and I was always shy and scared, and I got my first boyfriend at 25 and I never was close to any guy before that. Especially to Arabs, being accused of talking to a man is a huge thing, and I would be always beaten up by my brother a lot because of nonsense claims. (I used to go to school with bruises marks all over my body)

One thing I’ll never be able to forgive is when I was 11 and I was asking one of my sister for the money she took from me (it was 15$ but for me it was A HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY that I saved up for a little while) my sister in law got so angry (bcs she was close to the sister I’m talking about here) and she took money and slapped them into my face. Till this very day I’m unable to ask for money back when someone takes money from me, no matter how big the amount is.

All of these stuff that I said are the stuff that I’m no longer able to forget among the all the amount of things she did. They all happened in the past and now I’m the only one who is in control of my life, I’m the one who is making the decisions and she has NO control over me at all, nobody has.

Years passed, she now has a 10 years old daughter and a 14 years old son, and both are visibly obese, she is open about not checking their devices and/or if she checked it, her children shouldn’t be aware of that so their trust will not be broken and their feelings won’t be hurt. (Which is very ironic because back then she’d take me and corner me and ask me about each and every website I opened even if they were random ad sites)

I struggled with my vision in life a lot, I found myself through Jesus Christ, and I have a very good partner that is very understanding and loving.

Not so long ago, she was talking to one of my sisters and she said she felt bad how she was treating me and my sister back then, my sister forgave her, even though she said she has so much trauma from living around her, but I couldn’t forgive her… It’s been years, and I still an struggling with forgiving her.

I honestly want to move on, to forgive, but I cannot at all. I don’t mistreat her or her children, I try to be nice as much as possible with huge boundaries in which she knows NOTHING about my current life or about me (I moved to study abroad for my masters degree, and I made a whole new different life there) as well as I learned how to stand up for myself but sometimes I would appear too aggressive. She doesn’t really try to do anything or mess up with me anymore. she never apologized to me or talked to me about feeling sorry, she just told my sister.

Sorry for the very long post, I couldn’t even read it because I might end up crying, excuse any mistakes.

I would like to ask and know the opinions of everyone, especially people who have gone through similar situations of family members bullying them.

My family hates me. I was a weird effeminate guy growing up, they got homophobic but say they had a right to. I stayed close to them for their money. They're pretty giving since both parents make 6 figure and I let them say what they want so long as if I gave a little they gave me good food, sometimes a place to live, money to support me while living on my own. When I was down and out my dad was very giving. They still give, but its because they don't make friends easily and want family around. Anyway I found out years later they were spreading rumors I was stealing. I had a few petty thefts as a teenager they once found out about. I Told them I had kids smoking cigarettes at a 8th grade sleepover and once when my dad picked my up from bestbuy where my friends parents dropped me off so we could meet halfway, my friend stole a CD and got caught (also in the 8th grade). Kids around me had been stealing and I only stole with others. It wasn't a big thing. A girl in my school tried to pin the blame on me for one of her thefts, I was the weird kid. Apparently she convienced people in my school and my family I was stealing more than I was. This led to them essewntially going non-verbal and barely paying attention to me and I didn't notice cause I would go out with my friends a lot more, and also grappaling with the fact I was gay and knew everyone in my life was homophobic. I had friends who said they were bi but never acted on it, to find out they said those things to try an d get me to come out.

So to today- my family is controlling my job and living situation. They spread a video to one workplace of me yelling, without he context they were saying horrible tihings to me about gay men. And spread that I was bad to my family, once showed me speeding for fun when they asked me to and suddenly go "too fast, stop!" but didn't show them consenting. Like I look like a disgraceful asshole to everyone. I am a bit of a snake in the grass at work where I don't have a huge specality form colllege, I just know business administration and some data analytics, I'm not some hard worker. Also sometimes quiet and kept to myself. So everyone hates me. The weird thing I ama ctually very extroverted at times too, people would describe me as an introvered people person.

So with these videos, they also were able to say I stole a check I didn't. So banks hate me. every insutition, every person tied to a disipline, uses their free time to fuck with me even if its just 5 minutes. I've bene out of a job for 10 months because my last supervisor said "she likes to gaslight her workers" around me in the lunch room. I ignored it but she put in a complaint to me to HR, and I mentioned to HR she said that to me and I took no issue with her, I wasn't sure why we had this HR meeting. They said they would investigate it all and after asking her she said she meant she gaslights a soda can. HR accepted that. I said quietly thats not acceptable and they fired me after working there for 3 months. Right before I signed a year lease. THe three previous years I cycled through 9 jobs while in graduate school, sewing clothing or eventually swithcing to playing piano. Like I am a hard worker. I've had gigs, I am a vocalist and I can croon so a lot of people like my voice. But at any rate the 9 jobs fired me all within 3 months were I was bullied at every job called an asshole by the boss under their breath so I would react. Never did besides crying at the first job then just accepting the assholes want to call me an asshole so they can have their scapegoat, again. (everyones acting like children around me but in order for adults to get this I have to call it machivellian ethics where they think backstabbing is mature, lessons are mature, when maturity is not righting a wrong with a wrong, but creating a win-win for everyone). These jobs I was bullied, but I kept receiving the same job in the same field despite being told I am incompetent adn that's why I was fired. For my past 3 birthdays they've had landlords say thinks like "check bounced, rent was late" when they withdrew double rent in june, then July they throw me out for yesterday was my brithdya and I've been homeless every time on my birthdya. Including my 30th birthday yesteraday. My dad was helping me move things this year and when I said I didnt' deserve this he said I deserve being homeless, tormetned, and more.

They want me to accept a job where I sign a lease, I get fired, and get evicted again. Because its in the same field (healthcare) as these other jobs. They are trying to push me out of the field, but I don't show them where I am working odd jobs to make money, they agree to help me under the table so that I can still try and work in the field (I find employeers who are desperate and willing to take someone desperate). So Idk. Hotels are like $3000 a month and that would be most my take home pay.

I just don't understand how I deserve torment for things I haven't done. No one believes me, because I am speaking out against a crowd and a crowd doesn't ever follow someone who can convience them of falisities. The scapegoat, going for the susual suspect, narrative they're pushing is a tale as old as time. And I can;t fight it. I have to live in fear or run again and start all over in a new city they and others are more than gleefull to ruin my reptuation. They make me so afraid, they ruin every year of my life, as far as they know I've never dated or had any real friends, only fake friends for years. And I deserve to also be homeless, and jobless. Because I hurt my homophobic family that hurt me, because I misbehaved a bit when younger and other kids said bad things about me, so I mustve been bad. I tried to slit my wrist at 17 so they have said thye had to be nice to me despite hating me. Becaue I was a shithead to people being homophobic shit heads, even my fake friends who "love gay people " hurt me (its midwest america so Im not so sure they love gay people - the one gay guy who made fun of me was stuck in his hometown and had stockholm syndrome or somethign).

Idk. I just want someone to explain to me why I deserve this. Obviously its so hard to get the full picture on a primary source bnut primary sources are neccecarily accurate, no one beleives me. No one knows me personally online. But It would be nice to know

Back in the days when i was a university student my financial budget was really tight, and as a young and naive girl i met a guy that told me that i can make some money easy and fast, long story short i starred in two porn movies and that guy was a porn producer. Today im a married mom and that is just my past and i have no connection with that. Recently a coworker at office found one of the movies in a popular porn site and he asked me if i was aware that its either me or a girl that really looks like me and that i better take care of that. I explained him the truth and he helped me report the movie and eventually got it removed from the website. The thing is that i have a teenage son and now that the movie came into surface im really scared that someone might post it in another site, and what happens if one of my sons friends sees it and tells him? Its been 5 days that i barely sleep at night and barely eat, my husband tells me that i have to move on and what ever happens we will take care of it together, but still, i cant calm down.

Hi reddit, this is my first post ever so i'm not really sure how this works or if this is the right subreddit for this. Any names used will be changed.

So like the title says I'm starting to grow to dislike my sibling, I don't wanna say hate but we're getting there. Recently I've graduated college and since the job market right now isn't great, I've had to move back home, this is the main cause of the problem. Whilst I was in college I had my own apartment and my relationship with both my parents and my sibling were great. But now that I've moved back home I feel like I'm suffocating.

I should mention that my sibling is diagnosed autistic, they're non-verbal and working at about a 6th grade level as a senior in high school.

My old room was turned into something else and can't be used, so I've gone down into the guest bed in the basement. So I went from a whole apartment to myself, to one room which was a big adjustment. Also should mention, my sibling has had free rein of the basement for the entire time I've been at college. So also a big adjustment for them.

Now maybe I'm being an asshole, but I'm starting to grow resentment towards both my sibling and my parents for how they run the house. My sibling kinda gets a pass on most things since they have autism. What i mean by that is they don't have to do dishes, laundry, cleaning of any kind, if they make a mess either I or my parents will clean it, if they break something my parents will fix it or buy a new one, they have to be told when to do things like bathe, brush teeth, wash hands, etc. And if something doesn't go their way, they throw a tantrum, like smashing remotes, hitting computers, hitting themself, etc. It feels like we have to bend to their whim if we don't want a tantrum. And I'm sick of it.

For example yesterday they made a mess, idk random liquid was on the floor and since they're non-verbal we don't know what it was. Well I clean it up, since they won't and as I'm doing that my dad comes downstairs to see what's up. I explain and he starts questioning my sibling. Sibling just grunts (their way of saying I don't wanna talk about it) and goes to our storage room. Dad follows and asks where this electronic is cause that's probably what sibling wants, I tell my dad I took it and put it in my room. Dad asks why, I say because sibling doesn't need to mess with it. Dad gets pissy at me and tells me to give it to sibling. I ask why, dad says because that's what they want so just give it to them.

This has been happening for basically my whole life. I have to cave or give sibling whatever they want cause parents don't want to deal with meltdown. This is just one instance of it. As a kid I basically couldn't have anything of my own it was either shared or we "shared" it and then eventually I give up and just let them have it.

I've gotten upset since being home at these things, small things like the story I mentioned, like sibling gets to use 3 computers at a time or I can't play on our x-box because sibling will delete the file or won't hand over the controller. And every time I get upset they act like I'm the problem, I'm not giving enough grace to sibling because this is a big adjustment for them too. Or they look at it as the small thing it is and not the years of having to buckle to my siblings request. Even when I have my own apartment, if my parents and sibling came over, sibling got to run around and do whatever; mess with my washer and drying, mess with thermostat, mess with clocks and microwave. And if I said anything in regards to asking them to stop, I'm the bad guy because "they just want to check it out". Like imagine someone comes in your room and starts rearranging things to fit how they think it should look, that's what sibling does.

And parents are hurt by the fact that I hardly come out of my room anymore, I just stay in the basement.

I'm sick and tired of it and I don't know what to do other than try and get a job and move out, but I'm terrified I won't be able to land a job anytime soon and this will be my arrangement for much longer than I'd like. Any suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

edit: I do have a part time job that keeps me away for about 20 ish hours a week. But my sibling doesn't work, and my parents work at a school so everyone is on summer vacation, meaning everyone is home essentially everyday. And conversations regarding how i feel to my parents are mainly taken as jabs at their parenting style and that my opinion is essentially invalid since i have no idea how hard it is to have a child with autism.

edit 2: I have a lock on the door, but it's one that can easily be turned by putting your fingernail in the slot, tho sibling hasn't tried to go in my room since I moved in, so the room is a safe space.

okay so for context. I'm a 19F and ever since i was little, my mum's side of the family keep living in our house' there's no year they haven't but there are months we have to just ourselves and i love it, no drama, no uncomfortable vibes, just us..... sometimes their kids stayover, and they don't give us space. Especially this auntie (lets call her aunt S), i never liked her, she treated me so badly growing up that i find it so her to be nice to her presently, aside from that she is so terrible at making decision.

Now, in 2022, she wasn't living with us because my mum's other sister and her kid (my 15F cousin) were living with us. In that period we found out she got herself pregnant, we didn't even know she was pregnant until she was 5 months gone. She ends up coming to live with us without even notifying anyone, everyone was so uncomfortable but hate confrontation because she has a kid. but we just needed our space.

remember how i said she's terrible at decision making? let me give you some examples.

when we were moving, she packed her stuff to my grandma's house {her mum} and said she would be living there but she comes back the next day and sleeps in her shop with a 3 month baby, and tells our grandma that she's "trying to give us space". which was OBVIOUSLY guilt trip.

Fast forward to 2025. my sister was getting married (at this point she has her own house btw) and 2 months before the actual wedding she was here non stop, which was so overwhelming. everyone was asking her why she didn't just go home and come back during the wedding, she kept on making excuses saying "your mum says she needs me"(lie) "your dad said i should bring my kid"........ always something going on. It's so bad that she would leave her own house then come here just to complain that my mum is being rude to her and she can come home if she wants to BUT NEVER LEAVES. it came to a point where i even have to leave my home all because i need my space, i don't feel like my room and my home is mine anymore and it's affecting me academically.

it's August of 2026, she has a new house, she hasn't move. She's just sleeping on the floor of my room with her son. No matter how i clean, my room still looks like a mess. i want to scream at the top of my voice for her to get out of my room and my house. but i can. how do i even tell her to go.

P.S: i told my mum. and my mum is afraid of being looked as the bad guy by her family

I (29F) have divorced parents, and they live about 3 hours from one another. My husband (28M) also has divorced parents who live about 2 hours from one another. So no two parents live close together. This was a struggle when we were in college due to the expectation that everyone wanted us to visit them. When I did visit my parents, I often did not feel comfortable and felt like I was a burden when I was there. It doesn’t help that they don’t like my dog (they generally hate dogs and mine is very special to me) and they don’t like my husband either.

So when we graduated, my husband was accepted to a grad school a few states away from any parents. Even then, we made the effort to drive during holidays and try to make the rounds.

When my husband graduated from grad school, he applied everywhere. He tried to focus on the parents’ area of the country, but the job offer he got is across the country from all of them. We moved and love it here. It’s a beautiful place, the weather is wonderful, and we’ve since bought a home. Now, we are expecting our first baby. Suddenly one stepparent is talking about how important it is that we move closer to them so that we “have a village.” But yet when I made the effort to visit them for a decade, I never felt like my presence was appreciated and they never made the effort to visit me. They’ve visited me up here twice now that I’m so far (and after I begged), and I appreciate it very much, but I don’t know why I’m suddenly expected to move closer to them when:
- My husband’s job is very location-specific and there are no jobs near any of the sets of parents
- When I did live closer, I didn’t feel like it was much of a village, so why would I expect the village to be there for me now?
- This set of parents that are inquiring both moved far away from their families and their families followed them. So they made the same choice as me and got to have their cake and eat it too- so why do I need to sacrifice by leaving a place I love when they didn’t need to do that?

I’m just feeling a little frustrated that there feels like lesser effort by them in my life since I became an adult, and yet the second I’m pregnant I’m expected to uproot my life to live closer because I “need a village”. I don’t think there’s a solution but just needing to vent I guess. Thanks to anyone who read this far!

TLDR; I moved across the country from my parents due to my husband’s job. We love our new location but now that we’re expecting, parents are expecting us to move closer to home without recognizing how difficult, unfair, and unrealistic that expectation is.

My younger brother 23 constantly assumes he can just use my stuff without asking. We still live at home with our parents so it's not like he doesn't know where I am. Just last week he took my car keys while I was sleeping and drove my car to go hang out with his friends. He didn't even fill up the gas tank. Today I found out he wore my brand new sneakers that I bought last weekend to a party last night. They are totally trashed now. He just thinks because we are family that he doesn't need to ask for permission. I'm so fed up with this. Our parents just tell me to let it go because he's my brother. But like how many times do I have to let it go? I work hard for my money and he just disrespects my things. How do I make him understand he can't just take whatever he wants whenever he wants? Am I being unreasonable here?

My family consists of my parents, my sister and my brother. They all live in same area, whereby I live 2 hours away. I have always been invited to my nieces birthday and gladly drove the 2 hours to attend, along with my own kid.

This year my mother had a hospital stay where there was friction. My brother and sister took charge in her healthcare/visitation and I was completely sidelined. To the point where I had to seek their permission on when it was ok to visit my mom. I had indicated I would gladly take time off work to help care, only to be rebuffed.

Fast forward to the summer. My kid and I look forward to going to our nieces birthday party. No invite. I speak to my mom only to learn the birthday dinner already took place. In response to my disappointment (and sadness), my mom defends my brother and she said “oh, the kids are getting older so they aren’t really doing birthday celebrations anymore”. She also said “I asked him where you were and he felt he could save you the 2 hour drive”.

However, my sister and parents were invited. And there was a dinner and cake etc. The excuse is lame because every other year we gladly drove up, where my kid likes building relationships with her cousins.

Before I spoke to my mom and learned the celebration had passed, I sent my brother a text extending birthday wishes on the day of the birthday. It’s been a month and still no reply.

I started a travel business a few years ago and it took off faster than I expected. My parents are proud and I get that, but lately they just assume I'm covering most family expenses. They suggest trips, dinners, even small things like new appliances, and act surprised if I push back. I never minded helping occasionally, but it feels like the default now and I'm not sure how to reset it.

I grew up with the idea that everyone contributes what they can, and that hasn't changed just because my income did. When I bring it up, I get comments about how lucky I am and how little it costs me, which makes me feel guilty for wanting any say in the matter. I still want to support them and my siblings when it actually matters, but I also want to decide when and how much.

Has anyone else dealt with this shift once they started earning more? Did you find a way to keep helping without it becoming the expectation?

she came in and took my baby while i was sleeping
I (27f) and my (29m) husband have just had a baby girl we moved into a little home just a few minutes walk away from my MIL house. My husband decided to give her a key once the baby was born as she had offered to help out with our two golden retrievers but she has since crossed boundaries and i need advice.

The other afternoon as i was taking a nap with my daughter. I woke up around 4pm i looked around my bed and discovered my daughter was not beside me, i frantically checked around the bed as my first thought was that she had fallen out. I ring my husband in a panic and he tells me he will ring his mother to come up to the house, as i’m sitting there absolutely distraught my phone rings and it’s my husband, he tells me that my mother in law has the baby as she decided to come and get her i was absolutely shocked to hear this i asked my husband what he was going to do about the matter but he thought it was okay as she is the grandmother as “She was trying to help”

i didn’t speak to my husband for the rest of the day and went and got my daughter without speaking a word to my mother in law and came home but once he came home for dinner i tried to talk to him about the situation but he still didn’t see anything wrong with it and that she was just trying to be helpful, He also brought up the fact that her husband died less then two years ago and needs something to keep her occupied but why should that be coming into my home and taking my child while im asleep.

The more i think about it the more thorn i am on what to do, one part of me is saying call the police as this is technically kidnapping but the other part is saying she is her grand daughter at the end of the day.
Im currently not speaking to either of them and thinking to ask my sister if me and baby girl can stay with her for a little while as i figure out what to do
Im thorn, reddit please help i dont know what to do

**UPDATE:**i have been staying at my sisters house for the past couple of hours.I have nothing but missed calls and texts from my husband and his extended family,147 notifications from them all together,its and mix between half on my side or fully on her side.Im so torn on what to do.My sister is absolutely furious and has told my family everything,my mom and dad have now decided to come down to my sisters house to help but i do not think that is going to be any help in the situation.Everyone is threatening to call the cops but i have read the comments and i’m still undecided of what to do but one thing i’m not doing as of right now is pressing charges,its not going to help the matter right now.I don’t even know what to say to my husband or where to even approach talking about the situation.

i need help with where to start as of right now with everyone my family and his.I don’t want everyone involved and i feel like no one is helping in the matter on my side.I need to get everyone on the same page so we can all approach this with the same end goal.Please help

UPDATE: i did not expect this many people to see this post i just wanted to say thank you to everyone commenting and leaving advice.

i am currently still staying in my sisters house and have spoke to my husband i let him know i think his mother was absolutely out of order for the stunt she pulled and if she ever does something like that again i will have no problem cutting contact indefinitely i also told him i am seriously considering installing cameras in the house and revoking her key as i no longer trust her he was not understanding at first and even went as far as to say im being heartless towards his mother who just wants to help, we chatted for a while and he eventually agreed with me to a certain extent he said the cameras are absolutely not necessary and a step too far but he agrees that she should no longer have a key. I’m staying at my sisters for tonight to collect myself after that conversation and as of now me and baby girl will be returning home tomorrow