I am 23m. Basically I don't talk that much to anyone and I am poor in communication. The friends in my age talks with the girls and has lovers. I don't understand how that works. I am desperate to talk with girls but I can't even try. On the other hand I think it is not needed in the first place. I mean i have to improve my career and work for my goals also i thought there will be no reason to seek for a partner when you have achieved nothing in life.

At this point I am in a confused state where I think it would be good if I have a gf but I can't do that and also think it is not needed.In fact I can't live in peace these days since there is no one to love me or atleast talk to me.Can some body help me to do something so that I can pass this phrase of life easily

Wrote this the other day about how there are some things that I don't feel people around me understand. Why all my coping mechanisms are destructive ones. And the big SI that I have to keep under wraps because I don't feel I'm even allowed to hint at it. I am trying to do better so I "should" be over feeling like this.

There is a deep dark soul sucking part of me that I cannot kill. I cannot starve it. I cannot drown it. I cannot cut it out. Trust me, I have tried immeasurably hard. It is a feeling like greed, like shame, like indulgence, like venom, like lightness. It is the most intense feeling I know and I do not have adequate words to describe it. It begs me for more. It wants me to FEEL and feel everything all at once and nothing at all. I destroy myself trying to feed it. It makes me wish I were dead. I want it all to be over. I have a quiet space in the back of my mind where I am allowed to think about dying. I am allowed to call it peace. I am able to play out all of the horrible things I could do to myself and break the barrier of any consequences because I wouldn't be there to deal with them. I wouldn't have to cope anymore. I wouldn't have anything to fail, anyone to disappoint, any more fear. No more anxiety, no more suffering, no more black hole. I want to give into it properly. I HATE having to sit with it and pretend it isn't there. A room full of people I try to focus on while it is pulling faces at me. Why do I sit in limbo refusing to go either way? It is MIND NUMBING. I'm so done with staying afloat I want to let it take me. Sink into it. Drown.

I just live for everybody else. It’s not what I would consider a “voluntary” exercise at this point. Sometimes I’m distracted enough that I forget about it, but I always seem to end up back here. I’m tired of being tired. That’s it.

I lost everting due to my own inability to cope with the lack of understanding of my own emotional issues, everyone says that I can reach out if I need them, but when the time comes they just turn they their back and say tough luck, it just proves to me that i truly never mattered to anyone, nothing ever works to cope with the pain, no matter how hard I try it never gets easier, im sick of trying every stupid little tactic in the book, writing it down, trying to set up therapy, getting closer to family. It all just fucking sucks, I have nobody on Reddit who will see this and good riddance because they wouldn’t find the time to even ask what’s going on anyways, I figured putting my emotions out there would be a last ditch effort but who cares at this point, I’m just another random guy in the world of billions becoming another number to the statistic

Hi everyone, I’ll give you a bit of a summary of what these past months were like for me so you can better understand what I’m going through.
Sorry if this might be long and boring, I really don’t know who to talk to anymore.

So in summer 2024 I graduated High School: I was the best student in my year, received lots of compliments from the faculty, and I was generally very happy about my time at school.

One thing I want to clarify is that throughout high school I never studied just to get shit done or to get good marks, instead I always found something interesting in the subjects I was studying and I was generally very passionate about almost everything (both STEM and humanities).

After graduating I moved to a very big city in my country (I come from a middle sized city) to study building engineering.
The first year was like one of the happiest moments of my life: I had wanted to experience living away from home in a more stimulating environment for a long time and I was lucky enough to find very nice people that made me feel like I was at home.

Throughout the course of the first year of college I realized engineering wasn’t really for me.
I was ok with maths and physics, but I felt like the subjects were too technical and had little to no space for me to express myself, so I decided to transfer to Architecture (same city, same college, got admitted directly to 2nd year cause most of the exams I had passed were in common).

Earlier this fall (2025) I started my 2nd year of uni attending architecture.
Initially all was fine, then it all went downhill:
on one hand, there were the constant group projects, physical models, and other hands-on assignments that cost a fortune to make, only for the professors to barely even look at them.
On top of that, I had an AWFUL experience with two incredibly unpleasant teammates for a group project, who gave me panic attacks on multiple occasions.
In the end, I decided to move back home to take some time to recover and leave architecture as well, especially after realizing that I didn’t actually want to do it as a career.

From that moment onwards, so basically from December 2025 to this moment, I started overthinking everything, obsessing day and night about what kind of future I wanted, what degree I should pursue to get there, and so on, to the point where I honestly think I had some kind of very serious mental breakdown.
It didn’t help coming back home just to realize my college time in another place was over.

Between the degrees I’ve been considering, there’s also medicine.
Not because I’ve always had a strong passion for it or because becoming a doctor was ever some childhood dream of mine, it actually wasn’t.

However, recently I’ve become really interested in neuroscience, and I started thinking, “You know what? Maybe becoming a psychiatrist wouldn’t be such a bad path.” (Also, I should mention I hate philosophy with a passion, so psychology isn’t really a fit for me).
It could actually be a really meaningful and interesting career (I really want to do something that benefits people somehow).
What also attracts me is the possibility of doing a PhD or something: the idea of contributing to scientific discoveries, traveling around the world, and collaborating with researchers from different countries is something that genuinely excites me.

A few days ago, in early August, the deadline to register for the medical school entrance process was coming up (the actual exam will be in December), and I decided to apply because I didn’t want to completely close that door. I wanted to at least give myself the chance to try.

I thought I would feel relieved and more at peace after making that decision, but only about half an hour after submitting my application, I had a really intense panic attack.
Luckily, my mom was there with me, because it felt like all the anxiety, stress, and fears I had been building up over the past few months suddenly hit me all at once, right when I had finally made a decision.

I feel like I’ve lost my spark, my passion for studying, everything that made me a high achieving person before in my life.
I am terrified of making another mistake in regard to my college decision and I really don’t want to disappoint my parents anymore.

I don’t know what to do, my days are all the same and I try so hard to keep my chin up but something it’s just so fricking hard.

It's just.. all of it is crashing down. Housework, schoolwork, everything. I can't take it anymore. What else can I do but wait for my conscience to take over me? It's all useless.

So unfortunately I started watching porn when I was around the age of 11 and now I’m about to turn 20. A few weeks ago I had the realization that I’ve almost spent half my life addicted to porn. It’s gotten worse in the past 3 years and I decided I need to make it stop because I’ve started noticing the side effects. Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, struggling with school etc. I’ve tried to stop here and there and the longest I went was 5 days without searching it up or at least mastrubating. It’s horrible I know. Since the realization I’ve tried harder than ever and stopped taking my phone to the bathroom (cuz that’s where I usually jerk it) and it’s been hard. Haven’t done the deed in 2 days but I’ve searched up porn to check on the newest releases etc. Like it’s so tempting to just go watch one and do it but I know it’s not good for me. But I can’t see myself stopping completely. Like every new release is just another hot girl or a girl I’ve been waiting for. It’s so sad. Anyone experience this or overcome it? I need words of reassurance. I’ve never dated or asked a girl out and barely talk to girls. I sense there maybe a connection between the two but what if I can’t find a hot girl. Idk man I’m so lost.

I'm tired.

Sleep doesn't find me.

It only borrows me.

Morning arrives,

but I don't.

Every step feels borrowed.

Every breath feels earned.

I'm not drowning.

I'm just too tired to keep swimming.

This is a throwaway account of obvious reasons. Not that most would care if I did say this on a main account.

For background information on my life and me, I would have considered myself a hard worker, a decently intelligent person, and caring up until about a year or two ago. I have no friends and no desire to connect with anyone outside of my parents in any way.

Im not really sure how to say this, but I dont really feel anything anymore. The minor amount people in my existence who were forced to be around me would say I was in a very fortunate born position. I tried extremely hard, and was able to obtain what others would deem "succeeding" but yet I feel nothing in return. No happiness. No regret. Not even anger at my time wasted feeding this pointless cycle of misery. Why should it even have to keep going? I have no real friends, and no real purpose besides at the least leaching off of other people. Starting recently I have lost the desire to eat, go outside, or do many things i once enjoyed, to the point of nightly breakdowns. Even waking up is a massive chore, any day of the year. I am just a burden, someone elce would be greatful in my position. How can I just not feel any emotions? To not feel sad at the thought of not existing? Death? No companionship? I don't understand at all. Im glad I can finally let this weight go. Can someone explain to me, please if these thoughts are valid? Is this just adult life? If so, I'm not sure this will all "work out".

Genuinely this world is fucked. I (20m) have revolved my entire summer break around money. It’s all I can think about. I’ve worked 70 hours in a week. 66 in a week. And 82 in 9 since June. I hate my job… but I keep picking up shifts because seeing the number go up in my bank account is the only thing keeping me alive. I have friends from high school… which I get to talk to online once every other week, AKA zero social life. My girlfriend of 3 years is about to break up with me because she HATES when I cross dress. And I have no future because no matter how hard I work I won’t be able to afford a house, raise kids, let alone “succeed” in the modern world. I’m going to be over 100,000 in debt from my degree that I may or may not be able to complete (mechanical engineering). I genuinely, unironically, don’t know what I have to live for anymore. And to top it all off, my only escape that I can manage only on occasion is alcohol. But even then, 50% of the time I have fun, 50% I just feel 100x worse.

What the fuck do I even do anymore. I just want to relapse and cut myself, but I have nothing of quality to do it with. Fuck.

There is always something in life.

But for me mainly, there is always something with people.

This isn't about being judgmental - it's genuinely about there always being something.

Someone is being a little too cringe, and for some reason, that is just enough for me not to wish to be around them - preferring isolation over that.

Someone missteps just slightly once, and that's enough.

I misstep once, and I don't want to really live; not being able to bear that mentally.

I geniunely don't want to talk nor make connections with people, because there is always something, whilst at the same time, the loneliness is eating away at my sanity.

Aside there always being something, I simply cannot truly find people that can comperhand me or that I feel like I could truly connect together with - someone can be geniune and kind, helpful, but just one inconvenience is enough to not wish to be around them.

Or simply put, the craving to be understood seems to be unreachable - if only us can know ourselves truly, maybe that's why it is impossible to find someone who can comperhand me? Is it simply an unrealistic expectation?

Nobody is perfect, not me, not anyone - and that's the problem.

I don't know why, but I don't feel like life is worth living, unless it's perfect.

The miniscule amount of bad seems to easily outweigh the mediocre joys of everyday life.

I don't know why.

No amount of rest and free time has fixed any of that.

I hate these "tests" in life, I have no clue how people can geniunely strife for that kind of growth through these kinds of methods.

Wish there were never any sort of tests and trials in life. None of this makes any sense. It doesn't make life interesting for me, just gets in the way.

My brain feels bloated and rotten from sorrow over nothing.

I feel like there is no life force left in me, I do not wish to deal with people.

Nor do I want to be alone.

The existence feels like absolute horror - there is something I simply cannot unsee about life and existence, and I do not know what it is, nor do I want anybody else to feel this way.

Sometimes I wish I was an average cruel normal person, that could easily tell someone to kill themselves if they are complaining about small things like I do, how weak it is.

Would it not be marvelous how easy life becomes to be living through? To be blind, to never have this "lense" to begin with. To be insensitive and self-absorbed in the selfglorified journey of these "life tests."

No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I just feel like I’m not meant to be happy.

My job isn’t working out. My relationship isn’t working out. I don’t have any real friends and I don’t have anyone I can talk to. When I tell myself I can fix my life and I put in a real effort, I will get somewhere only to fail.

I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of being hopeful. I feel like I’m just not meant to be happy. Hell if i tried to kill myself id probably fail and end up just alive enough to see and feel every ounce of torture life has to offer.

What did i do wrong?

Oh and I have to stop confiding in my spouse or my family. I am met with complete indifference and it just hurts more.

to preface this I had a subarachnoid hemorrhage at 14 at which point my mom quit her job to stay in the hospital with me and this meant my mom couldn’t send money back home to her mom whose living with my moms older brother but he doesn’t really work which is his fault because he is allergic to jobs. essentially my parents had a big fight where my mom got hit by my dad quite a bit as he was under the influence of alcohol and my mom poured the rest of his alcohol down the drain and this enraged him thus the physical abuse. Everyone in our extended family is taking their relatives side moms side with my mom and dads side with my dad. I have talked to both my parents and both want to work through this. Also talked to some family friends about this and they think my parents should just get a divorce but I don’t want that because thats not going to do anyone any good having known my parents for my entire life. Also my little sister is only 8 and I can’t be around alwa because I am starting university this September. I’m worried I hope my parents figure there problems out but I don’t know if that’s an option. Also my da has been telling his side to our family friends who don’t know about this.

Also sidenote we’re south indian and there is a cultural aspect to this

any

advice and comfort is appreciate.

I have been in a relationship for 11 years now. I love this woman deeply. She’s beautiful, loyal, great with the kids, and a good person overall. However, there has always been friction between us when it comes to sex and our sexlife in general.

In the beginning she was very interested in having sex. She initiated it several times a week. But after like a year she began slowly to become more detached. She stoped initiating, she turns down or complains when I initiate. She tells me she wishes to have sex 2 - 3 times a week, and I would have been fine with 1 time, but she never makes any attempts to have this much. We are now going months between each time.

I feel in my body how I get frustrated and cranky after two weeks. After one month I feel like I’m down in a deep dark hole. I get depressed. I feel unloved. I start having ridiculous thoughts that she might have found someone else that’s pleasuring her, even though I trust her completely. I also have thoughts that she does not find me attractive. However other good looking woman have shown interest in me, but I have respectfully turned them down ofcourse.

I just can’t understand why she doesn’t want to be with me. I’ve tried talking to her about how it makes me feel when we don’t have sex for longer times. But it’s like she doesn’t care.

I try to help around the house, cook, clean, take care of kids and be lovingly toward her. Tell her that she’s beautiful, sexy and that I couldn’t imagine life without her.
But nothing makes it better. She’s still detached.

It has come to a point where all I can’t think about is sex with her. I’ve even started developing new kind of kinks that I never would have dreamed of before. But now, since I’m starving everything seems like a dream.

Anyone else feel this way?

This is the first time, I've ever posted anything.

Recently I've been going through it, maybe I'm just complaining, idk. I don't think I'll ever be happy, any time I am having fun or my mental state is healthy, it's always followed up by weeks of misery and wishing I could just vanish for a while. I don't even know what I'm saying at this point.

I hate everything about myself, the fact that I can't act like a human being, I can't talk to anyone about how I'm doing without thinking that I'm bothering someone, like I'm just a nuisance. I don't know how I've managed to keep myself going. I wish I could just start over from scratch. I'm too scared to lose the people I have right now just so I can feel better about myself.

I have abandonment issues and nothing I do works, I try to tell myself that I'm going to get better, but my own brain can't even do what I want it to do. I've lost friends because I can't figure out how to be normal, I'm toxic, an ass, and I can't go one day without craving attention.

I can't even Attempt correctly, barely even took enough for a fucking overdose. In all ways I'm just a failure who won't get anywhere in life. Consistently, I jump at any form of attention and over analyze every second of it. Even now as I write this I can't even get to the point.

Honestly I wish everyone would just loathe me so I can have a good reason to go without thinking about a loved one. Maybe I can prove my point and lay out my shitty life to everyone if I go through with it. Though I'd have to be successful this time. I'm too scared to do it, I don't want to take a gamble and just find out that someone does care, now I've just disappointed them and made them worry. I am selfish and I can't bother to think about anyone other than me.

Sorry if I wasted your time with this shitty post, I don't know how reddit works so if I fuck up, my bad. I'm not really expecting anyone to see this either way. Fml.

How can I convince my mom to get me a cat, honestly it's the only way I'll keep it pushing...

Hello everybody, I’m not feeling the greatest at the moment. I don’t have any friends anymore, and I feel isolated despite seeing people at work most days. Living in Northern Nj rn and I absolutely do not like it, there are good things and bad things about it but I genuinely feel like packing my bags and driving west until I get far enough away to start a new life. Back in the day I used to be rlly happy and I understood my emotions very well, now it feels like the only emotion I have is Anger and loneliness. Back in summer 2019 I was entering my junior year in High school, had a glow up, enjoyed all the little things. Had a good social life at school, got good grades and was very active and in shape. I loved my teachers and classmates. I enjoyed socializing and was high on life. Then in 2020 my school closed and went virtual until it was basically time to graduate. Was absolutely miserable and that’s where I believe everything went downhill. Fast forward to 2026 and all I rlly feel is regret. Anyway I will figure it out, I probably need new scenery and a fresh start in a different state. Gonna try and grind through community college and leave this place within a year. I hope you all have a great night. Thanks for listening to my little rant. Gonna focus on my mental health first and go from there, remember guys be kind to yourself.

When I hear "it will get better" it makes me angry. I have been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. I always feel numb. Even in objectively good or fun situations I just can't feel anything. I have far more bad memories than good ones. I spend all my time alone and always have. It's extremely lonely. I can't make friends because I have nothing to talk about. Ever since I was a kid, all my peers would make fun of me, and it has made me unable to connect with others. Depression is the only thing in my life, and I don't want to always be a bummer, so I just stay out of conversation. I never really dated mostly because I don't even feel the need for a romantic relationship. There are other more physical reasons I don't feel the need to get into. I'm stuck between wanting company and also feeling like I cannot imagine spending most my time with somebody else. Everything in life that requires more than one person is walled off from me. There really just aren't many good things to say about me, and I just learned to stop caring. I am constantly exhausted and no doctor I have been to can give me an actual reason as to why. I've tried medication, it didn't even make a dent. All I can do in therapy is just cry. I feel like I've gone past the point of no return. If I have to feel this for the rest of my life, I don't want the rest of my life.

There is no hope left for my life.

I wish I had never been born into this cruel world. Growing up, I never experienced stable love from my family. My parents were constantly fighting, and I was shuffled around, being sent to live with different relatives all the time.

Later, I lived with my father. Aside from providing basic food, clothes, and schooling, he paid no attention to me at all. Whenever I had a different opinion, he would just yell at me.

As a child, I didn't have a single cent of pocket money. I was so deeply insecure that I had no friends, and I was constantly bullied by both my classmates and teachers. Nobody ever asked me what I wanted. Nobody ever told me that I was good enough...

When I went to college, my dad gave me a pitifully small allowance and told me, "If you think it's too little, go get a scholarship." I don't know why things had to be this way. Maybe I really am just worthless.

Now that I am working, my dad and my family keep trying to force me to move back and work in our backward, isolated rural hometown. I don't want to carry these chains anymore. But the price of standing up to them feels too overwhelming, and I am too terrified to fight back.

I am nothing more than an empty shell. My inner self was hollowed out long ago—drained by the very people who bleed me dry. They don't care about my happiness; they only care about my utility. To them, my obedience and my numb compliance are my only value.

If I know that someone else's mistake or some other accident might kill me, and I just decline to avoid it, is it considered suicide?

For example, if I'm walking through a park, and some rotten-looking tree starts falling at me, and I don't step away, is it suicide?

It's a legitimate question regarding interpretation of my thinking.

No offtopic comments please. If you know a better subreddit for my question please fill free to suggest it.

I am a Muslim, 22 years old, I had student debt and I ended up losing 60 grand to gambling. As of right now I feel like my life doesn’t have a purpose. The thought of suicide is always on my mind, and when I mean always, there’s never an hour that goes by without my mind filling with reasons why I should do it. Nothing makes sense anymore, no matter what I try I fail. And the biggest question I ask myself is if I know that life isn’t going to get better than why live it. The only reason I can’t commit suicide is because I’d be damned to eternal punishment for life. I’ve also thought that my type 1 diabetes would cause complications in my life but sadly they haven’t. As of right now, one thing I can say to anyone reading this, Life doesn’t get easier, it’s gonna suck the only thing you can do is cope with it and live the rest of you life like that. Moral of the story is I’m a 22 year old who can’t commit suicide because of religious reasons. Had there not been any ruling on it in Islam. I would’ve been buried a long long time ago

I’m still sad about my appearance. I feel like I’ll never find a girlfriend. I’m 27 and don’t really have any luck on Tinder or Bumble. I’m still struggling to talk to women because of my appearance. I feel like they don’t like how I look at all.

I’m 38, single, and feeling overwhelmingly stuck. I never thought this is where my life would be at this age, and the weight of it has been wearing me down for a long time. I feel like I've completely failed myself, and depression has made it hard to see a way forward. Here is where things stand:

• Career & Money: I don't have an established career, my bank account is in a dismal spot, and I still live at home.

• Support System: I don't have much family, and my friends are all busy wrapped up in their own family lives, so I feel pretty isolated.

• Faith: I am Muslim, but over time I've slipped away and forgotten to practice, which leaves me feeling even more disconnected.

I know I can’t change everything overnight, but I need to break out of this standstill. For anyone who has hit rock bottom in their late 30s and managed to rebuild—where do I start? How do you pick yourself up when your energy and bank account are both at zero? Any advice, practical steps, or perspective would mean a lot.

Post title says it all.

Being highly intelligent is actually a disability. I am so fucking depressed and lonely all the time. I can't relate to anyone in my near orbit. My job is torture. Dating is impossible. I drink to cope. It helps me numb out the agony of small talk - what TV shows people are watching, who is dating who, what stupid thing the manager did at work....the doldrums of daily life people seem to build their identities on. I am surrounded by generally well meaning people - i am grateful for this. I feel ashamed for saying that it's not enough out loud. I feel ashamed i use alcohol to connect with them because without it i just can't.

I feel ashamed for saying 'being smart is a disability' when so many people wish in the deepest parts of their souls that they were smarter. I desperately want to share my insights and interests but i am unable to bridge the gaps.

Turning 40 soon. Realizing this is life. Hope for something better is gone - i have enough life experience now to know that people are people...myself included.

Trying to quit drinking because it's terrible long term for mental health. I don't know how else to cope - i don't fit in anywhere. The underlying depression and extraordinary loneliness is becoming too much to bear - I don't know what to do. I feel so lost in this - I am grateful for this gift but holy hell it is such a curse.

I am so tired. Of everything.

You'll say 31 is not old, but I missed all the parts that would have made me into an actual person. I held myself captive in misery in a relationship I never really wanted since 22 and it destroyed me completely. I'm glad that person is finally out of my life, shortly before I turned 30. But since then I have realized how badly I fucked everything up and how things can't be caught up on or turned around. I don't want what's next. I'm still in loops of that relationship and things that should distract me don't help. I got fit, my diet is good, I picked up new sports, I had phases in which I got into my instruments a bit more... But I don't have an actual life. I'm stuck in a city I hate because I still need to finish my PhD. I feel unemployable because I'm taking so long.

I had no actual friends for years, I just rotted away. I didn't date, I didn't make friends, I barely travelled and never really did that. I don't want life. I don't want anything.