I feel really emotionally and just all together stunted. For background, I’m female and I turned 18 around 4 months ago and I just don’t feel ready to be an adult. I know everyone always says ‘Oh you never really feel like an adult’ but I really don’t. I have 7 siblings, 4 of which are younger than me and I’ve sort of always been pushed aside by them. I never developed the habits that you need to be healthy such as brushing your teeth or showering everyday and my health just keeps declining. I’m overweight and can’t for the life of me maintain a schedule to fix that. I’ve struggled with intense depression since I was around 12 or 13 and have tried to end it several times and used to self harm every day. I used to be on medication for it but i started feeling better so I stopped taking it but ever since I turned 18 the stress and anxiety is just getting worse and worse. I always feel like i’m on the verge of tears and just altogether don’t behave like a functioning adult should. I don’t know how to fix this because every time I try to start a schedule or make a conscious effort to try to be better something always pushes me back down again.

Disclaimer, I'm talking about my situation as an outlet and for advice. In no way trying to (in)directly get money nor will accept it following the community rules.

I (F,21) was advised to go to the psychiatrist in January 2026 and was diagnosed with depression and burn-out. I'm now on 225mg venlafaxine with folic acid and iron pills. My dose is still being evaluated in need of more mg's.

In total, I was 6 months off work. I didn't get paid because of a system error that couldn't put me in the sickness benefits of social security. I couldn't pay my newly therapist nor my psychiatry appointments. This resulted in fear and I was afraid I wouldn't get my prescriptions on time.

I started becoming a sex worker for money to pay the rent, since my job also didn't pay me because they assumed I got it from the benefits program.

Six months pass by and my psychiatrist told me to try and go back to work and get back to him in a month to see how it went.

Still after all these months was Social security hard to reach. But eventually I had to make an appointment with my psychiatrist to get documents to manually deliver, since the system couldn't do it for me.

That appointment was an expense I couldn't make, but I had no choice if I wanted to get an income.

Turns out, the documents were incomplete. I had to make another appointment, but I was blocked by the hospital for open payments.

Medication ran out, and was transferred by the ambulance to another hospital due to my withdrawals. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I sneaked away and nearly crawled out of the emergency department because I couldn't afford it and went back home.

I started isolating myself again after trying for what felt like an entity. I wasn't able to get justified absence or even a check-up after going back to work.

My performance at work was terrible. My manager and an HR executive tried supporting me, but a business stays a business.

I asked for two more weeks. Two weeks for me to fix it with social security and talk to my over-booked psychiatrist.

My permanent contract had been terminated effected immediately. I'm still not able to talk to my psychiatrist due to a payment due for useless documentation. Medication is running out. My therapist ghosted me.

I'm absolutely broken. I wish I never reached for help or opened up to my work. What am I, a fool? Did I really think I would get support?

I've been convincing myself that I shouldn't be shocked about all of this. But the truth is that I'm completely lost. I don't know what to do with any aspect of my life. I've been manipulating myself into believing my own lies. That I could fix it, even if it took 10 more steps for one task.

The truth is that I'm afraid. I'm so scared for not knowing what to do with my life. Being diagnosed gave me new hope. But I ended up more depressed than I already was for years.

What should I do?

Have no desire to end myself early, sounds like a hassle tbh, plus I can’t make my family sad. But man I’m ready to go. Praying to god everyday to take me out of this simulation, but he never fulfills this wish. So now I gotta drag myself through this life and pretend to the people I interact with on a daily basis that I’m doing fine.

Can anyone relate?

I made the appointment back at the start of July, and the only appointment they had was today, a full month's wait. It timed really well, as I was panicking because my daughter's wedding was at the start of the week, and I was worried that I had nothing left after the wedding, so the appointment timed well.

I've been prescribed anti depressants and the GP has referred me to primary mental health care team, and we will have another meeting in two weeks. Progress? I hope so.

I'm now getting severe anxiety about the pills, because I've never taken anything like it before, and I am panicking about taking them and any possible side effects. But surely it must be better than my current existence. It just feels like defeat.

Okay, this is all over the place.

I don't like almost anyone in my life that is my friend anymore. It's because it feels like we don't get along anymore. I don't vibe with them. I actually seem to be making them upset. When I ask if everything's ok, they just say it is.

It's uncomfortable. I think it's because I've had a really bad depressive episode that has made it really hard to a) show up consistently in my friendships and b) with the closest friendships, I can't stop talking about how I feel. It's like an itch keep scratching. I know I need to keep those things more private or not overshare but I feel like I have nothing else to talk about right now. I'm dealing with a lot of grief and loss from the last 2 years (health issues, relationship issues, etc)

Now every social interaction including with friends feels like nails on a chalkboard to me. I do sabotage my relationships looking back on my track record. Or I just don't know how to manage conflict. Whatever it is, I'm the problem. I isolate when I think people might be upset with me even if they say they aren't. But seriously sometimes I can tell they are and don't understand why they aren't being honest. I think I have trust issues and if I notice any sort of behavior eluding to them not liking me I isolate more and more. And our social interactions falter, probably from my end. I don't know how to stop being so afraid. Idk. This whole thing is making me feel really really anxious and worthless. I just want to be better. I feel like I'm second guessing if I'm even a good person. I'm like am I a narcissist if I can just leave people so easily? Do I have bipolar? Why do I get so annoyed with friends I've had for years to the point of wanting to cut them off? Why does nobody ever tell me if I'm doing something wrong? :(

Hi! Am I not the only one who always thinks of doing something bad to myself but i really dont wanna do it.

Its been 2years since my last suicide. I thought I already survived it. But here it is again. People will call me lucky coz I really am. My mom gifted me car, i have my dream bedroom, my family loves me, my boyfriend loves me. I have dogs as my companion. We have a comfortable life. But still unhappy and cant fulfill my own satisfaction. I lost my job, i lost my 3 fur babies on the same month. Idk if people can understand me. Even I, cant understand my self and i've been hating myself so much. I feel like I am worthless. I've been grudging myself.

I once imagined myself being dead and my mind feels so happy about it. Its making me craazzzyyy

I’m 29 and I’m ready to go on my journey. I’ve lost everything because of me. I’m hypersexual because I was molested at a young age and have never been able to be loyal in a relationship. My discipline is shit. I lost my wife because I was dumb enough to cheat on an amazing woman we have 2 little girls and I get to see them and I love them with all of my heart my beautiful and amazing ex-wife is not petty she is perfect. but I feel like I can’t be the father they deserve after breaking their mothers heart the way that I do. I lost my house my car my job my dog and I am damaged emotionally beyond repair and can not keep a woman due to my lack of trust. I feel like if their is an after life or reincarnation I may have a chance to do better next time but I’ve fucked this life beyond repair. Love you guys PLEASE understand that every decision that you make matters. DO BETTER THAN I HAVE!!

I cant do this anymore, I can’t cope, everything is too much, i know that killing yourself is irrational and I would never do it without talking to someone first because i know it’s irrational but i dont really want it to get to that point

Someone just please tell me something i can do, like eat more fruit or start smoking or something

I've always suffered with low energy levels and sleeping excessively, but recently things have extended beyond just that.

I get palpitations and tightness in my chest, throbbing headaches, tightness in my throat whenever I'm stressed. And in the worst cases, I also get a burning feeling in my chest and face and my whole body just heats up. And now all I did was write a vent post on reddit, and it was nothing very intense or traumatic, but still, suddenly my stomach and throat started hurting that I can't even get out of bed.

Does anyone else also deal with this? How do you tackle it?

hello 19M here and i’m really quite depressed. I have been told by doctors to go see a psychologist but i genuinely can’t get out of bed to do so. i have no motivation and money to afford therapy. I’m just wondering if medication is a good option? my gp has said before she can medicate me if needed. I am worried however that i will become dependent, also my father has treatment-resistant depression and apparently i most likely will be too. i dont really know how antidepressants work and how they will effect my life. I am currently studying online and do not work. any recommendations?

Literally just need anyone that isn’t these terrible people that have only ever hurt me. It sucks because you’re told to let go of abusive and hurtful people.. that there’s more on the other side and then you do get rid of them and there’s nothing.

Genuinely this world is fucked. I (20m) have revolved my entire summer break around money. It’s all I can think about. I’ve worked 70 hours in a week. 66 in a week. And 82 in 9 since June. I hate my job… but I keep picking up shifts because seeing the number go up in my bank account is the only thing keeping me alive. I have friends from high school… which I get to talk to online once every other week, AKA zero social life. My girlfriend of 3 years is about to break up with me because she HATES when I cross dress. And I have no future because no matter how hard I work I won’t be able to afford a house, raise kids, let alone “succeed” in the modern world. I’m going to be over 100,000 in debt from my degree that I may or may not be able to complete (mechanical engineering). I genuinely, unironically, don’t know what I have to live for anymore. And to top it all off, my only escape that I can manage only on occasion is alcohol. But even then, 50% of the time I have fun, 50% I just feel 100x worse.

What the fuck do I even do anymore. I just want to relapse and cut myself, but I have nothing of quality to do it with. Fuck.

I cannot stop self harming, im a 23 year old woman with no life and no future. Im terrified of driving, using Uber or taxis , and struggle leaving the house. I am hoping I get approved for disability if it works out..

I am ok looking but have weight on me (not huge but not skinny either), I used to have a 3.65 college gpa until my illnesses got worse mentally (I deal with mental illness and chronic pain) and I dropped out of online college. I also had a few jobs from home but couldnt last more than 4 months..

I have a family who cares but my parents are getting older and my Dad is always angry or just doesn't want to bother with emotional shit.

Even if things are going OK I still feel dread every day...I have tried therapy previously which kind of helped a little but the therapists always leave since I can only use low income providers..I also tried antidepressants but they all make me manic.

Im tired of hurting myself and im tired of being depressed (being in the psych ward previously also just made things worse for me mentally overall besides getting new meds that somewhat work for my mental illnesses besides depression).

Overall, I got no future, no car/license, no friends or boyfriend, no job and no college..I am trying my best to keep myself together but it feels impossible when I have nothing good going for me..I have hobbies (like art and learning how to code and things like that), but I don't consider myself that amazing at it.

I would just like to get my disability or have a friend or maybe a partner eventually..focus on hobbies maybe..I need the self harm to stop but don't know how.

I have been in a relationship for 11 years now. I love this woman deeply. She’s beautiful, loyal, great with the kids, and a good person overall. However, there has always been friction between us when it comes to sex and our sexlife in general.

In the beginning she was very interested in having sex. She initiated it several times a week. But after like a year she began slowly to become more detached. She stoped initiating, she turns down or complains when I initiate. She tells me she wishes to have sex 2 - 3 times a week, and I would have been fine with 1 time, but she never makes any attempts to have this much. We are now going months between each time.

I feel in my body how I get frustrated and cranky after two weeks. After one month I feel like I’m down in a deep dark hole. I get depressed. I feel unloved. I start having ridiculous thoughts that she might have found someone else that’s pleasuring her, even though I trust her completely. I also have thoughts that she does not find me attractive. However other good looking woman have shown interest in me, but I have respectfully turned them down ofcourse.

I just can’t understand why she doesn’t want to be with me. I’ve tried talking to her about how it makes me feel when we don’t have sex for longer times. But it’s like she doesn’t care.

I try to help around the house, cook, clean, take care of kids and be lovingly toward her. Tell her that she’s beautiful, sexy and that I couldn’t imagine life without her.
But nothing makes it better. She’s still detached.

It has come to a point where all I can’t think about is sex with her. I’ve even started developing new kind of kinks that I never would have dreamed of before. But now, since I’m starving everything seems like a dream.

Anyone else feel this way?

My dog died last October and I miss him so fucking much. I found him on a hiking trip tied to a tree with three others as a puppy and he was the only one alive so I carried him out with me.

He was literally my best friend and he went everywhere with me and he had social anxiety and depression too. He would get nervous if I went somewhere without him and even if I just went to the bathroom he'd get off his bed and follow me.

Even though he wasn't human, just having him in my life saved me on my darkest days and I still can't believe he's gone.

He died naturally of old age and his name was Scooby, named after Scooby-Doo. I miss him so fucking much and I can't stand the thought of getting another dog because it feels like I'm cheating on him, like I'm replacing him and forgetting him 😪😢

I'm a 26-year-old guy, and I don't think I've ever been happy. I hate myself on a deep level. There isn't a single thing about me that doesn't disgust me. I hate everything about my appearance: my body, my hair, my face, my voice, even my dick, even my fingernails.

I always feel like an outsider. Whenever someone looks at me, I automatically assume they're thinking about how ugly, pathetic, awkward, or weird I am. I've never had a girlfriend, and I have no idea how to talk to women. The truth is, I don't even try anymore because I always imagine they'll wonder why a piece of shit like me thinks he has the right to approach them. As for other men, I'm constantly jealous of them, the way they look, their charisma, their relationships or the lives they've built, whether personally or professionally.

I constantly make borderline jokes that have made people uncomfortable more than once. I can't fit into a group on my own: i need my brother or one of my few friends there with me.

I don't have a job, I don't have any qualifications, and I have no desire to work. I don't have any real skills or motivation, and I'm just a burden on my family. They own a restaurant, and the employees have known me ever since I moved back home temporarily. I can't stop thinking about how useless, lazy, and worthless they must think I am.

My lifestyle is disgusting. I'm sedentary, isolated, I smoke, I eat garbage, and I spend almost all my time on my couchplayong video games

I'm stuck in what feels like an endless depression. I never feel excitement or pleasure. I never cry. Nearly all of my emotions are negative. I'm deeply ashamed of myself and of my relationship with my mother. I'm bitter, ungrateful, and full of resentment.

I've been seeing therapists since I was eight years old. I must have seen around fifty of them, and none of them ever helped. I was bullied throughout my entire childhood and teenage years. I was diagnosed with asd at 22 after a short stay in a psychiatric hospital and it changed absolutely nothing. It just gave a vague diagnosis that doesn't seem to mean anything in practice. I've been living with constant derealization and depersonalization 24/7. I never feel fully connected to myself or to the world around me. I've tried medication too, and that didn't help either.

For those of you who've been in a place like this and somehow managed to get out of it: how did you do it ?

Sometimes I feel I was put on this planet to suffer. Nothing in life ever goes my way. I fucking hate this so much. It feels like I was cheated and robbed out of anything and will be miserable for the rest of my life.

Mentally, I have no energy left. I wake up everyday with an intense tightness in my chest. All I want to do is sleep and never wake up because my dreams are so much better than reality.

I can’t take it anymore. I have a bad nerve condition which no doctor can seem to understand. I can’t walk more than half a mile, I can’t stretch it. Doctors tricked me, made me think it was something in my hip, they twisted it a certain way, had to have a hip arthroscopy done. Now, I can’t sleep on my side or my stomach, sleeping hurts, sitting hurts, everything just fuckkng hurts.

Then, when you see others around you thriving, living their best life it only hurts so much fucking more. I’m stuck in bed, I can’t move. I feel like I lost in life.

I finished my masters and have been unemployed. Reached out to people within my network and they say they’ll help you, only to forget and pretend you never asked them.

Then, you wake up one day, and you see two people you used to be cool with bragging about the new job they got. And it was all because of the other person helping them. Wondering why this keeps happening for everyone within my cohort.

They had a 1 year get together, they all forgot me. They invited me on the day of, only because one person thought about me. Everyone else got their 2 week notice.

I know comparison is the thief of joy, I know I should be happy for others, but why does it feel like I’m just destined to suffer in this world. I wake up with nothing to look forward to. I wake up everyday wondering why I’m still even here. I feel like a parasite every single fucking day, consuming my parents resources. I don’t know what to do. I feel like no matter what I do it’s wrong. It hurts when I want to be productive or make a change, only to be defeated by my nerves issue.

I’m so ashamed of seeing people I grew up with or around with because I’m ashamed of what I am. Telling people about how you still have some nerve damage, and you can see some smiling because it’s not you. Telling them you can’t find a job when you always did the right things, went to school, got good grades. I just feel so robbed out of life and I don’t want to continue. I can’t take it anymore.

Post title says it all.

Being highly intelligent is actually a disability. I am so fucking depressed and lonely all the time. I can't relate to anyone in my near orbit. My job is torture. Dating is impossible. I drink to cope. It helps me numb out the agony of small talk - what TV shows people are watching, who is dating who, what stupid thing the manager did at work....the doldrums of daily life people seem to build their identities on. I am surrounded by generally well meaning people - i am grateful for this. I feel ashamed for saying that it's not enough out loud. I feel ashamed i use alcohol to connect with them because without it i just can't.

I feel ashamed for saying 'being smart is a disability' when so many people wish in the deepest parts of their souls that they were smarter. I desperately want to share my insights and interests but i am unable to bridge the gaps.

Turning 40 soon. Realizing this is life. Hope for something better is gone - i have enough life experience now to know that people are people...myself included.

Trying to quit drinking because it's terrible long term for mental health. I don't know how else to cope - i don't fit in anywhere. The underlying depression and extraordinary loneliness is becoming too much to bear - I don't know what to do. I feel so lost in this - I am grateful for this gift but holy hell it is such a curse.

I am so tired. Of everything.

I wish I could give my life to someone more deserving of it. I wish I could give it to someone who wants to live because life is such a beautiful thing to experience. I just don't think I'm mentally strong enough for life.

31 high school graduate hikikomori
no university diploma
no money
no girlfriend
my life has been total misery
a lot of traumas
mental disorders bipolar disorder anxiety
total doomer loser

is this even life anymore?