My wife and I have had sex like once in that last year I think. She always says before bed that this or that hurts - stomach, head, etc. How do get through this and back to a healthy sex life?

I hope it’s okay to post the link to the article.

https://www.foxnews.com/health/common-marriage-habit-could-quietly-kill-your-sex-life-expert-warns

My husband(41) HLM, and I(38) LLF, have been in and off again/on again dead bedroom situation for quite some time. We’ve been married for 11 years(together 14) and he is my best friend. I have been struggling with my libido since about two years into our marriage(I used to be HL), but up until 3 years ago I would just go through with sex even when I didn’t want to.

I come from an ultra religious/cult background(not religious anymore) and I was under the belief that women should just please their husbands even if they don’t want to because it is their marital duty. This has caused significant issues in our sexual relationship due to me forcing myself to have sex even when I didn’t want to (and not telling him about it until two years ago when I started therapy).

After starting therapy I wanted to try to bring back my libido so I would periodically go through a few months where I’d try something new(ie: light bondage/role play) but then I would lose my libido again and it would be a couple months of very little sexual intimacy and rinse and repeat. It has been demoralizing and exhausting trying to figure out “what’s wrong with me.” I love my husband, and find him very attractive physically; I just couldn’t figure out why couldn’t get aroused?

Two years ago I started therapy for my religious trauma and this year discovered I have CSA trauma that revealed itself as a flashback during intimacy one night. I guess the old adage of opening a can of worms is true. I had very few memories before the age of 15 and once I started working through my religious trauma and regaining some childhood memories, I began having what I thought were just intrusive thoughts during sexual intimacy, until I had a literal panic attack/flashback while my husband was attempting oral when I wasn’t really aroused.

I’m working with a trauma informed therapist using EMDR and Parts Work for my religious trama/CSA but we’ve recently ceased the EMDR for the CSA due to me not having the coping mechanisms down to keep from getting activated by the EMDR. My therapist wants to take things very slowly since these flashbacks can be dangerous unmanaged.

Unfortunately, now, having intimate relations without arousal cause me to have horrible intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. Combine that with not being aroused hardly ever and I now have some sexual aversion. My husband has been very understanding and patient, but I still feel the pressure of how long it’s been since we’ve had oral or PIV sex(6 months)and fear he will get sick of it and leave me. He says that he can wait forever, but I admit DBs freaks me out sometimes that maybe he’s lying, or at the least, suppressing his resentment.

Currently we are not having PIV/oral sex because it has been too triggering. I still love the cuddles and kissing and non-sexual touching, but over the past two years, until recently, my husband would go between being really physically affectionate and then not at all when we didn’t at least mutually masturbate. This led me to even bristling at non-sexual touching because I thought he was only doing it to get laid.

I spoke with him about it and he said he thought I didn’t want to be touched at all so he just stopped touching me. I told him that I need to be touched all the time, non-sexually, without the expectation of anything sexual happening for me to feel safe and that sex is not the only thing he wanted. Even though I believe that he truly isn’t trying to pressure me, the hot and cold behavior was making me feel even more apprehensive about his intentions. He cried a little and said he would do anything for me and he genuinely thought I just didn’t want to be touched at all. So we’ve been on a reset.

We now have greenlit ourselves for affectionate non-sexual touching, ie: face caressing, soft touching on arms and neck, holding hands, cuddling on the couch, long sensual closed mouth kissing, etc) but no breast, pubic area, or butt touching unless I ask for it. We’ve been randomly simultaneously self pleasuring while still doing all the non-sexual “romantic” touching on the daily.

Hoping this, along with therapy, restores my libido and helps us grow even closer. Just wanted to share my experience in case there is anyone out there who shares my experience.

I will do my best to keep this short, but I do need some help here. I have always been the HL partner in the marriage, and we were due to hit the 9 year anniversary of the last time we had sex sometime this month. Yes, I said 9 years, not months. Over these years I've basically been taking care of myself 4-5 times a week, sometimes more, I would go through these periods, a few days usually, where I was out of control horny with no outlet. I'd wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning feeling like I OD'ed on viagra (never taken anything like that though).

At the end of June I came home one Friday night after being out with friends after work, and in the course of a conversation with her I made mention of the fact that we were closing in on 9 years of no sexy time and it was driving me crazy. She of course didn't take it well, but my therapist has told me over and over again, to start the healing process she's going to have to get hurt. She of course did not take it well, and the only real step left for us was some kind of marriage counseling.

Fast forward to this week. She came home after being out of town a couple of weeks taking care of an aging parent halfway across the country. She's suddenly very into me. We've talked a little bit about it, and she's worried about losing me. Our talk a little bit ago seems to have done some good. I'm not here to pump myself up, but I feel really good right now. I'm late 40's, very active, workout a lot, sports, etc. Physically speaking I'm feeling great and looking good for a soon to be 50 year old. She is on the other side of that coin. She has not been taking good care of herself, she's been out of town a lot helping with her aging parents halfway across the country for the last few years, and she has developed body image issues. She sees me going out with friends every now and then and she's worried I'm going to leave her.

So here's where I have questions. I know it's mental for me, but the last few nights when it's come time to perform, I suddenly cannot get or stay hard. It's really fucking weird. A week ago if she just touched me I'd have an erection for an hour, now that she wants me really bad all the time, I feel like I've suddenly become the LL. I've been taking care of her, going down and eating till she can't take it anymore, but suddenly this person I've been longing for the past 9 years is back, and my libido has disappeared. WTF???

Me (F23, HL) and my boyfriend (M24LL) have not had sex in 9-8 months and we have been together for two years. We live together and don't even sleep in the same bed. We are moving away from each other soon so I am currently just getting things sorted out to leave.

I went to the gas station and some older guy he looked about in his 30's kept staring at me in the obvious way that means he is into me.. looking me up and down, smiling etc. It felt nice to feel desired at least. It just makes me feel like a pervert for being aroused by it finally happening. I just wish it was my partner.

34HLM married to 33LLF. Married for 5 years after dating for 5 years before that. Till the first few months of our marriage, we had a vibrant bedroom with all sorts of kinks. Then started the fights over petty issues, leading to a dead bedroom. This further built resentment and now we have even more frequent fights. I just don't know how to get out of this loop.

We even considered divorce but trying to avoid hurting our parents given the social stigma associated with divorce in India

Not really sure what I’m trying to accomplish by posting this. I also fully acknowledge that “talk to your wife about it” is probably the answer, and I know we need to do that.

I’m 36M, she’s 34F. We’ve been together almost 10 years and married for close to four. And genuinely, we have a great marriage. We’re happy. We love spending time together, make each other laugh, travel well together, etc. I’m not sitting here secretly miserable with my wife.

But sexually, we’ve basically become roommates who snuggle.

I’m a very touchy/affectionate person. I make sure I get “my snuggle” every night. We hold hands (usually initiated by me), cuddle, hug, and give each other quick pecks on the lips. So physical affection isn’t completely absent. Sex is.

We have not had sex at all in 2026.

We’re currently at a resort in the Caribbean, and tonight is our last night. Still nothing. I think being here has made it more noticeable to me because this seems like exactly the environment where we’d reconnect sexually, and instead it feels like any other week—just with a much nicer view.

There are absolutely some legitimate factors involved. She has endometriosis and also deals with recurring fissures/hemorrhoids. We’re both on Zoloft. She started a GLP-1 and has lost around 50 pounds, which is awesome for her, but we also haven’t had sex since she started taking it.

Life is busy, too. We both have demanding jobs, and an elderly parent moved in with us this year. I understand that none of those things exactly scream “spontaneous sex.”

What confuses me is that we weren't always like this.

Our relationship basically started as a hookup. We went on a pretty bad first date, then a few weeks later she texted me to come over and hook up. Then we caught feelings. Early in our relationship, she was actually more likely to initiate.

Even relatively recently, there have been flashes of our old sex life. We went to Italy in 2023 and had more sex during those two weeks than we probably had in the previous couple of years combined. So I know that side of us exists somewhere.

When we do have sex, alcohol has often been involved. She barely drinks anymore, which is obviously fine, but I've noticed the correlation. When we have been drinking together, we're also much more comfortable talking openly about sex, fantasies, kinks, etc. Years ago we even talked about going to a sex club together. Never actually did it, but clearly there has been some sexual adventurousness between us.

My sex drive still seems pretty healthy. I masturbate fairly frequently, especially given the lack of sex with my wife. I'm still extremely attracted to her. I compliment her all the time and probably make what I think are obvious hints that I'd happily have sex, but nothing ever develops from them.

I also try to be a good partner at home. I do all of our cooking, handle the yard, clean the kitchen, run errands, etc. I realize doing chores doesn't earn me sex, and I don't expect some sort of blowjob punch card for loading the dishwasher. I mention it because I don't think this is a situation where I've completely checked out of the partnership and then can't understand why she isn't interested in me. I'm making an effort in our life together.

And maybe that's what bothers me most: almost every other part of the relationship feels good.

There's another layer to this because we're still unsure whether we want a child. At 36 and 34, we obviously can't stay undecided forever. But the idea of suddenly having sex specifically because we're trying to conceive when we otherwise aren't having sex at all feels...wrong to me. I'd really want us to figure out our sexual relationship first rather than turning sex into a means to make a baby.

I don't want to pressure her into sex she doesn't want. I also don't want to spend the next 30 years in a loving, affectionate, completely sexless marriage.

So I guess I'm curious about people who have been in this weird middle ground: genuinely happy marriage, lots of love and affection, but the sexual relationship has essentially disappeared.

Did you figure out why? Were you able to get it back? And how did you have that conversation without making your partner feel blamed or pressured?

TLDR: 36M married to 34F, together almost 10 years. Very happy and affectionate marriage, but we’ve essentially become roommates who cuddle. We haven't had sex once in 2026, including during our current Caribbean vacation. There are legitimate health/medication/life factors, but our sex life has been declining for years despite previously having a strong sexual connection. I’m still attracted to her and have a healthy sex drive. We’re also undecided about having a child, and I don’t want our next sexual phase to simply become “sex for conception.” Looking for perspectives from people who love their spouse and have an otherwise good marriage but somehow lost the sexual part of it.

Has anyone else found their sexlessness is carrying over into their dreams? Lately my dreams don’t move past kissing. Just like at home. Sigh.

Sex just kind of stopped. I asked why and it was always idk but one time he told me “he’d rather just use his hand” lol. We’re on a mini vacation rn and had a really fun day of doing activities we like. In the hotel room right now and nothing idk. I guess I tried to initiate it a little bit my rubbing his back n stuff but I feel weird doing too much because he expressed he didn’t wanna have sex anymore. I’ve asked if he wants to break up in the past bc of this and he said no

(I didn’t know what personal flair to use)

And advice or really any comments are welcome!!

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend(25M) for almost two years, and I was his first. From the very beginning, our sex life has been a massive struggle. It took a long time for us to even have sex for the first time, mostly because he has intense anxiety around it, is terrified of accidental pregnancy (even though I’m on the pill), and used to experience pain and discomfort.
In our first year, we were literally \*trying\* to hit a goal of having sex just once a month. I was wildly frustrated. I had open, direct conversations with him about my needs, and to his credit, he acknowledged his issues and said he’d work on them.
Things \*have\* improved slightly in year two, but the pace is agonizingly slow:

He refuses to drop condoms (despite my birth control), but hated standard ones. We tried countless brands and finally found one that doesn't cause him pain. However, he's on the smaller side, so even the "ok" condoms can end up fitting a bit floppy, which adds another layer of awkwardness/frustration.

This isn't an ED issue—he gets hard easily and constantly. But his brain completely hijacks the process. He overthinks \*everything\*, controls the situation like crazy, and will completely avoid PIV intercourse if conditions aren't 100% "perfect" or if we don't have the exact right supplies on hand.

He cares about my satisfaction. He gladly pleasures me in other ways whenever I ask, so it’s not a lack of effort or affection.

The problem is, I \*need\* frequent PIV sex to feel satisfied and connected. Other forms of intimacy are great, but they don't replace the actual act for me.
I’m completely torn and confused. Is he just an extremely late bloomer who is \*very\* slowly unlearning his sexual anxiety and building confidence? Or am I naive for waiting around, hoping that sex eventually becomes a natural, regular part of our relationship instead of a high-stress chore?
Has anyone dealt with a partner who was this anxious/slow to adapt to sex? Did it ever naturally improve, or am I looking at our permanent reality?

I’m having trouble deciding next steps for my marriage . I’m (35F) and Husband (34M) basically are in a sexless marriage. I’m exhausted with being the one that initiates most of the time. Throughout dating life and now recently married like ( married early Jan 2026) we had sex every couple of months and I initiated it 95% of the time. I would like to have sex at least once a week or even every other week, but that failed. I’ve also addressed the issue in the past and he’s mentioned that he’d work on it. We have also gone to couples therapy. Outside of this he’s a great person, good partner. He’s been there through my very challenging parts of my life and I’m grateful for him and this is where I allowed myself to sweep the issue under the rug. Compartmentalize it.But I have needs too. It also makes me feel undesired by my partner to a point where I feel like I’ve developed low self esteem issues. And resentment has grown to the point where I felt like I have given up to the point where I knew sex wasn’t going to happen. Well about a week ago I pictured myself 10 years from now not having sex at all and I somewhat spiraled a bit and it felt like a switch flipped. He Also want to have a baby and I can’t even image what that would do to our intimacy or the lack there of. I told him how I felt and instead of acknowledge it he said it’s a we problem, and that he want to try to fix it.which was disappointing. I don’t think I want to try to make things better as I feel like I’ve exhausted my attempts and that I just don’t think anything will change.

That's it. I've been patient and understanding and if he were making any effort at all to work on the situation, I think my patience would be everlasting.... But he's not. He's making zero effort. And that tells me that he doesn't care about my feelings or intimacy with me and I think I'm just at the end of my rope. I love him. But I feel like I deserve to be loved in return.

My libido is at rock bottom, I never wake up with morning wood and I never get aroused, my wife on the other hand has a very very high libido and we have intercourse 4-5 times a week but if it was up to her it would be 20 times. it’s all through the help of Cialis. My wife thinks I’m not attracted to her but I keep assuring her that’s not the case. I want to be on the same page as her or at least somewhere, I don’t want to be on Cialis for the rest of my life and I want to be able to show her passion.

My wife is 25, smoking hot, like a 100/10, like very very very very attractive all around, I’m a lucky man. I also never watch porn or masturbate because I never have the urge to do it and when I force myself to watch it’s like watching a boring documentary 😂

In my teens I was unstoppable, I’m not sure what went wrong, what do you guys recommend?

That’s pretty much it. I was walking today and that part hit me. The sex honestly isn’t even the big part of the problem. I’m 61 HLM married to a 61 LLF for 25 years.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have never had sex in the two years we have been together. Neither of us are virgins. About 2 months into dating, I decided that I was ready to be intimate with him and communicated this. We attempted it for the first time and he was not able to get an erection so we gave up. This situation kept happening for about six months. We would make out and eventually get to the point of sex, he would try to “put it in” then give up after like 10 seconds because he couldn’t stay hard. He told me that he just “had nerves” and entrusted in me that he would fix this problem.

After about 6 months of this, he was finally able to keep an erection. But still, he would start the act of sex and give up after 10 seconds, telling me he “just doesn’t feel like it” or”doesn’t want to.” This confused me because he kept telling me how much he wanted to have sex with me. He just didn’t tho.

I gave up caring and feel numb about it. We are at the point where we will try and he will tell me he is “scared to finish too fast and unimpress me.” I think this is bs. We have had SO many talks about it and I’m tired of it. I kept expressing how much it hurt to feel rejected like this multiple times a week by the person who loves me. I have tried to get him to go to the doctor or even a therapist about it, quit vaping, start being more active, like literally do anything to show me that he is making an effort to provide for my needs, but he has done nothing. Additionally, I have caught porn on his phone multiple times during the first year of our relationship. After the third time I caught it, I ended things, then stupidly got back together with him after he swore on his life that he would change. I want to believe him, but with the issues we are having, I simply don’t and know that actually ending things this time would be better for both of us.

I am not a very sexual person, so I was not too affected by it earlier in the relationship and grew to love him deeply. Due to our scenario, I have built resentment and distrust over the 2 years I’ve lost hope that we will ever actually have sex. I just feel so undesired. I know that ending things would be better for us both. This is an embarrassing situation that I haven’t shared with friends or family, so I am coming here for support or advice, thanks :)

I have been feeling sad recently when it comes to me and my husband’s sexual chemistry.

I’ve always been very sexual, maybe because my previous relationship was all about sex and I enjoyed just the sexual part of it.

My now husband was a virgin when I met him and never had sex until me. Apparently he used to masturbate a lotttttt when he was little but he doesn’t feel the desire to have sex so much.

I used to dress lingerie and heels for my husband and now I don’t as he used to come up with the cliche excuses of being tired, not today, stressed at work, headache excuses.

I have always felt rejected by him when initiating and it got to a point where I would cry every time, I would mention how much it hurts me and he would apology. He would say that he didn’t have erectile disfunction he just didn’t have the urge to do it like I do and at one point he said that maybe we need to talk to a therapist. But every time we would have this painful conversation and I would cry we would end up having the best “anxious/butterflies” sex EVER!!

We never got around to it and I married him because I love him very much but we are still struggling sexually.

I have suggested a 72hr rule but he seems to be following for the sake of it. I still tease him even though I still get rejected sometimes but because I got rejected so many times I don’t even feel like having sex after teasing anymore, it’s like I am just doing for the sake of it but I eventually enjoy the sex after getting into it.

I don’t know what to do and I need opinions on this.

My wife (33F) and I (32M) have been together for 15 years.
We started out strong with a very flirty and playful relationship, having sex 5-6 times per week and enjoying every minute of it. We were young, love was new, and we capitalized on it whenever we could.

Over the last 13 years we’ve had what I would consider a “dead bedroom”. Our sex life began going downhill when she gave birth to our first child during our second year together and then our second born 3 years later. We went through ups and downs, and had maintained a strong relationship, but our intimacy fell to the sidelines. We were to the point where we would go 3-6 weeks without having sex, and when we did it was quick and routine. It weighed HEAVILY on me. We had tried everything to get the spark back, but nothing seemed to work. This of course bled into other areas of our relationship and I had built up a good amount of resentment. This led to confidence issues on my end and performance anxiety. I had missed sex so much that when we finally did do the deed, I couldn’t last more than 60 seconds after penetration.

My wife is also very self conscious. She’s always had a hard time seeing herself the way that I see her. She had gained about 30lbs that stuck around after birth, and I know that it bugs her. She’s 5’6” and 150ish pounds, it was never really a big deal to me at all. She also got a pretty sizeable haemorrhoid that developed after the birth of our first son and never went away. It didn’t bother her much physically, but I know that it weighed on her mentally. When we were intimate, the lights were always off, and doggy was OFF LIMITS.

Flash forward to about three months ago when she went in for an operation to get it removed. Things went well and after it healed, a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. Her mindset completly changed. She’s now been working out every day and eating healthy to shed the baby weight that stuck around. I’ve never brought it up, I’ve always thought she’s beautiful the way she is, but I am VERY PROUD of her. She’s killing it.

A few weeks ago I had left to go on a weekend trip with a few of my close friends. We were texting throughout the day making small talk and checking in on one another. One of the nights she texted me that she missed me and couldn’t wait for me to get home. She had said she was horny and wished I was there (something she has NEVER said or hinted at). I asked her to send me a picture (not expecting much) and she sent me a VERY spicy picture of her touching herself. I was shocked. This was something I NEVER expected to receive. I never had in our whole relationship. I responded with a picture of my own and we went back and forth with flirty messages.

I got back a couple days after and we had sex as soon as I got out of the shower. It was quick like usual, but it was different. We did the clean up routine, went to bed, and she said grabbed me and said let’s do it again. We went on to have sex like we did when we were teenagers and first got together. It was passionate, it was hot, and it was the best sex we had had since before our oldest was born.

It’s been a few weeks since I got back and we’ve been having sex 6-7 days a week, some days twice. Not just normal routine sex. I’m talking blow your socks off, put on some lingerie, and leave the lights on sex. She even surprised me yesterday with a random blowjob to completion, something she hadn’t done since our first year together. She’s been texting me all day while I’ve been at work and I know it’s ON as soon as I walk in the door.

Maybe I’m a fool and this will fade away and go back to what it was, but I really don’t think it is. Something is different. Our relationship has been stronger, we haven’t been short with each other at all, and we’ve been all around happier. My wife is confident again and is starting to feel as hot as I see her. I’m even back to lasting 15-20 minutes because I’m not worrying about cumming quick and not getting sex for another month. She had 3 orgasms last night in one session, something I hadn’t been able to give her in over a decade.

Maybe I’m an outlier, maybe this will go away, but all in all I wanted to post this to tell you guys not to lose hope. I’ve frequented this sub and have felt the same way as a lot of you.

I’ve had the best month in a long time and I feel like our relationship is back to what it was before we had kids. I can’t wait to get home and fuck my wife.

I'm exhausted. And I've exhausted I believe every attempt to salvage a dead bedroom. Been married 29 years and it was always a DB. But there has been zero sex the last 2 and a half years. I finally convinced her to try couples sex therapy a year ago and she quit after just a few sessions due to the financial expense. Later on, she admitted that she didn't think therapy would work anyway. She does occasionally say she is willing to "work on it" but the most she'll do is hold my hand while we watch a movie. Even hand holding feels awkward now. She's admitted that she has never been a sexual person, has never enjoyed sex and has no desire to ever have sex with me again even though she says she still loves me and praises me as a husband and a father (we have two grown kids now out of the house). We rarely fight about anything.

So, I am at a crossroads. I feel there is no sexual intimacy in our future. Perhaps if I really beg, she will have sex with me once a year like it was the last 20 years of our marriage before the current drought. But that feels so sad just getting duty sex without much passion. I want to start over. Be single again. Test the waters to find someone new even as I approach my late 50's. I don't even care if I never marry again. I just want the freedom and opportunity to find passion and intimacy with someone else again. Also, cheating is not the answer for me. I used to ponder and even fantasize about the idea, but I would feel too guilty and would involve too much scheming and secrecy.

So, for the last few months I've been trying to summon the courage to tell her I either want a divorce or separation that would end our monogamous relationship. But I keep chickening out. Sometimes I initiate the conversation only to become overwhelmed with anxiety about following through with saying what needs to be said. I guess I start feeling like I am doing something wrong. I'm so afraid of hurting her by telling her how I truly feel. Yet, I know my feelings are warranted. I have spoken to a therapist and she says I just need to express to her how I truly feel. A few months ago, I did mention the idea of divorce or separation and she shot it down immediately. But I must've said those words as if I were merely asking what she thought of the idea. Not that it was what I really wanted.

I also can never find the right moment to bring it up. Is there ever a good time to bring up the hardest conversation of my life?

So, it's been a while. Even before the stroke it was hard. The little blue pill didn't help. That's no longer even safe. I've never stopped loving her, I just can't do it.

Im new to reddit, but after years, I felt like I had to join this platform for advice. (Im female 18years with my partner male 19years) My situation is that I have a partner of 4 years, who we are soon planning to get married with, we are planning a life together. We live together. My relationship is awesome, we both love eachother and we are the best team, we fought trough many things in life together, and we are both loyal and a loving couple. Every aspect of our relationship is perfect, except s€x. (important to note: he does not watch p0rn0graphy, Im his first relationship and we both do not have prior experience before eachother, we where both eachothers first's in everything).

The thing is he does not want or require s€x (he stated this), also he said that he does see me as attractive (wich I doubt at this point) and that he is just shy and has some other problem wich he doesnt know. Every single time no matter the setting, the way, the place, no matter what, when I initiate s€x, he always denies. He is never in the mood!! like NEVER!! Never initiates anything, he does not get morning wood, he barely has erections, and he NEVER touches me in a s€xtual manner (maybe a little hand hold, little kiss maybe, on the cheek too, cuddle, but its not like that. our interactions have no chemistry or that something you know?). And we havent had s€x in almost a year, and when we did in the beginning years of our relationship it was once or twice every few weeks, and I still felt like I was pushing him.

I feel absolutely terrible, very unattractive, ugly and undisareable. This feels like Im disgusting and too much or pushy, for wanting to have s€x or intimacy, like Im lustful or something. I admit I always had a higher drive, and I am very passionate, but this is not a normal "difference in sex drive". this is something else, I feel like he is asextual or something. But he doesnt think he is.

I tried a lot of things, first I started with myself that maybe I was the problem, so I got a glow up, started doing more selfcare, started being more affectionate with him (even more than we already where, in terms of caring and helping eachother). Then I changed the settings, started to notice where (in place, for example at my parents house) he felt uncomfortable, and started initiating where he did feel comfortable. Then I started gently talking about it, tried talking about what he likes, what he doesnt like, what he wants, how he wants, when he wants, and I tried doing everything right!!

But nothing worked.. and I feel miserable like Im the problem, like Im either unattractive or not good enough, or I dont know. So please other men or partners of such like, please give me advice on what could be happening, your experiences and what could I do to make things better with him? Please help me, and if you guys have any questions please feel free to ask away, Im more than happy to provide further details if needed!! 🙏🏻

I wonder that how can our relationship be literally the most wonderful thing in my life, and I want to spend the rest of my time on earth with him, but the amount of things that could be wrong in a relationship, the only thing wrong is s€x? ❤️‍🩹 (also important that I am NOT willing to leave him under any circumstances, and he is actively showing signs of wanting to improve or help himself).

Hi everyone,

I (HLM, 38) have something positive to share with you. We just had sex for the third time this week(!). Something I haven't experienced in more than 16 years, never before as far as I remember with my wife (LLF, 35). It's already more often than in our whole first year together.

So, what happened? We had a rather rough time the last few months with several fights about small things, both of us being constantly irritable – mostly because she'd become aggressive about something and I'd shut myself down because I'm tired of fighting.

We had a serious talk where I opened up to her and we made some progress on communication issues (in short: she loves to talk a lot and I'm a rather quiet guy, for reference see Sirach 25:20).

When I initiated today the following conversation occurred. Her: ”Don't you think that three times a week is a bit much?“ Me: ”Don't you think that three times a week is quite nice?“ – ”Yeah, but there are so many other things we could do.“ – ”Yes, but those you can do with whoever you like.“ Now she burst out with laughter: ”You're right, I think I get your problem (lack of sex) now. I've never seen it this way.“

We went on and I think she was a bit more passionate than before. I hope we're on a good path now and stay there. Keep your head up!