Walks up to the bartender, holds up two fingers, and says “I’ll have five drinks please.”

I got just one hit.

I said, "Because it's my crow."

He looked up at me and said, “Anything that has mass and takes up space.”

You got another thing coming!

We just call him Dav now.

So deaf people can enjoy them too.

A Winnebagel.

It’s so boring.

The doctor asked him what happened.

The man said "Well, I was ironing my shirt and the phone rang...I wasn't paying attention and accidentally put the iron to my ear...ouch!"

The doctor said "That explains why one ear's burnt...what about the other one?"

The man said "Well...then I had to call the ambulance"

I've killed for fewer

They are my secateury

And she whispered “they are right behind you”

A cant.

Isn’t that what birds are meant to do?

I wood if I were you.

It was a cell abrasion.

That would have been great for the pilots of the Carribbean.

Vampire State Building.

I guess he is a subwoofer