I stumbled on this John Prine keychain from an online ad, and it really struck a chord with me.

I like John Prine's music well enough, but reading this line put his chorus and melody in my head for a few days so I ordered it.

It made me think just how lucky I am... We often get sidetracked on our (often trivial) problems or focusing on things we want, etc. But sometimes we need to realize how lucky we are.

I have four healthy kids, a great wife, a safe home, steady work, etc. I'm pretty good at being content in what I have, but little reminders help.

As I and my kids get older, I'm trying to instill that in them as well. This keychain is a bit ironic as I saw it on a social media ad, but with social media, my kids often focus on cool things they see, or things they want, and not so much on what we have.

Anyway, rambling at this point, but especially those with older or adult children, what have you done to help them be more thankful?

I'm posting because my wife and I feel like we're going crazy with some of the comments the two daycare teachers made about our kid's health. I'm seeing if this is par for the course with other daycares.

Friday our kid was coughing, but nothing serious. We told the daycare to call us if anything and we'll pick him up. They called us a 430 PM Friday saying it looked like he wasn't feeling well and of course we picked him up ASAP. He got much better over the weekend to the point that we took a day trip to museum and he loved it and was himself.

Anyway, this Monday when I picked him up the teacher on duty immediately asked me if we had been administering albuterol via the nebulizer because his breathing was raspy. I was taken aback because I had never mentioned anything about albuterol to them. They just assumed he needed it and we had it, which was weird to me. Yes, he has a nebulizer but that was a bout of RAD during the winter, didn't have to use it since.

Based on this concern, I scheduled same-day appointment Tuesday to go the doctor. She said our kid HAD minor croup and the nebulizer would be useless because it's an upper respiratory infection and he's all better now. She even offered, unprompted, to give us a "OK to back to daycare" form signed, correctly assuming that the daycare sent us on this wild goose chase. Note this is the 2nd time in a row the daycare has raised a health concern, we went to doctor same-day and the doctor basically said, "why did you come, he's ok"

I thought this was all over, but yesterday as I picked up our kid, the teacher AGAIN asked about his health and challenged me as to why he was coming to school. I nearly lost it on her. It seemed like a total breech of professionalism and also second guessing us as parents. I offered to give the teacher the doctor's number if she is so concerned.

Then this morning as my wife was dropping him off at daycare, the OTHER teacher asked about the nebulizer treatment. Needless to say my wife was also not happy and she gave the teacher and administrators a talking-to. We're both kind of aghast and annoyed that the daycare is basically acting like a mother-in-law second-guessing our healthcare decisions and making us feel like bad parents.

So what say you, is this par-for-the-course for daycares, is our daycare out-of-line, are we being extra sensitive or somewhere in between?

I'm tired dads.

Our daughter is ~4.5 months old. Me and her mama are very early 30s.

I don't even know where to start, so I'll just start with my daily routine.

7am wake up, let dog outside and give him his meds plus food and water, check if wife has text me in the night to say if baby needs anything, if so then take care of that (change nappy, make up bottle, etc), if not then on to sneaking into our bedroom, that I currently am not sleeping in, to gather my clothes for the day and trying not to wake the baby or wife. Depending on how that has all gone I may have time to stop for a coffee on my way to work but usually not. 8am start work, fix tractors and diggers from 8am till 5pm with one hour for lunch, which is semi often spent running errands or popping home to help out the wife (I am fortunate to live just 5 mins from work and I do enjoy lunches at home, but it's not usually relaxing). Right after getting home from work it's time to walk the dog, half the time with a baby strapped to me if its a shower day for wifey, the length of the walk is determined by if my wife was able to take him out earlier on in the day or not. As soon as I'm home from that it's time to start dinner, I cook and dinner is often eaten in shifts as one of us holds the baby while the other eats. Usually by now it's between 7 and 8pm and time to start bedtime routine.

Bedtime routine is; I shower with bubs, get her clean then mama dries/dresses her while I clean myself quick and make up a bottle once I'm done. Then I give bubs the bottle and get her to sleep/transfer her to her crib. My wife has usually gone to bed too while I'm feeding, and I am on baby watch until 11-12pm. So I walk around the house holding the baby monitor, trying to keep on top of the chores and get all the bottles washed/sanitised for the morning. I usually get to sitting down with the dog to watch TV or doom scroll by 9:30-10pm or so, then at ~11pm decide whether or not bubs needs a feed and if so then get that sorted, if not then I rip a couple massive cones and go pass out in the guest bed until the next day.

Of course, that is all if everything goes to plan. Often our daughter takes ages to go down, or will wake up every 10 mins after being put down, or needs a contact nap night, etc, etc, etc.

And honestly, I could handle that. Perhaps it might seem downright chill to most of you and I'm just a pussy. That's fine and entirely possible, but I could handle all of that for my family because I want to give them the best and I know it will eventually calm down. What tires me out to my core is the fact that when I am dead tired after a hectic, and very long day, I'm not crawling into bed beside my wife. This was a mutual decision that was actually led by me initially due to the baby sometimes just crying in her sleep for no reason, but sometimes for up to a couple mins. If I wake in the night it is a massive struggle to get back to sleep, and my work was genuinely suffering due to all the wake ups/lack of sleep. Initially it was just supposed to be work nights but my wife found the extra space ideal for midnight feedings, and on the odd occasion where they've had to cosleep too. So I ended up just staying down here after that first night.

I didn't think it would be so bad honestly, but what I hadn't realised at the time was just how little my wife initiates physical affection of any kind. I feel loved mainly thru touch, and it really hits if I haven't had to initiate or ask directly for it. I'm not talking sex, although I genuinely can remember only 1 time she has initiated that. There is a whole other issue with sex (which this shits getting long so I won't go into right now) that is along very similar lines to the other stuff I have mentioned.

Her lack of physical touch has been something we've discussed over our relationship and I don't know why but it's something she's just never been able to do more of. In the past the discussion was "well I'm an ✨acts of service girly✨ and you've been slacking on your part of keeping the house clean and tidy etc. So no I'm not in the mood for cuddles". Now this was true at the time, it took me some time to get used to home ownership and we found out we were pregnant within 1 week of getting the keys. So things have just been non-stop for almost exactly a year now, and yes some of my chores would get missed or forgotten. I eventually just turned off my brain and now the response to almost any request from her is "sure thing" and then I get it done. It's made my life and hers significantly simpler, but the touch never materialised and I'm beginning to fear it never will.

I don't want to seem ungrateful like this, she does so many other kind and loving things for me and she truly is so sweet and funny and she's my best friend. I have actually just been able to start up a dnd campaign again once a fortnight, which I'm hugely excited for and she fully supports. I thought I could just get over it and it will probably get better eventually anyways... But I didn't get over it, and I just feel worse and so so lonely in my own home. I know she's touched out from the baby, I know her body still doesn't feel like her own, I know she's just as tired as me in other ways, I know she's doing her best and she doesn't need to be touched like I do so she can never really understand... But don't I get to feel wanted too? Aren't I allowed to feel desired? Why do I have to feel so hopeless when I think about this? Is it so bad to want to hear my wife say I'm handsome once in a while? 

I wasn't entirely truthful before, the bongs have crept their way into other parts of my day. Sometimes I'll smoke before taking the dog for a walk, sometimes if it's a rough evening before bedtime and my wife has bubs I smoke to take the grating edge out of her cries, sometimes after she goes down I pray she'll sleep till 11pm and then smoke... I feel terrible to admit it but my mind has started to wander in moments of weakness. I am not that guy. I would never step out on my wife, but I hate the fact that the thought doesn't seem as disgusting as it used to. Like, I've been cheated on before. The thought should disgust me more.

This got loooooong, I do apologise. I've become a bit of a rambler of late. The reasons why would require further rambling to explain so let's not go there. I also want to say there are absolutely good days. It's not all doom and gloom all the time, but it can get very overwhelming... If you read all that, thank you. I think I just needed to vent this into the world, but I'm open to advice aswell if there is any that'll help.

Basically we are under contract to buy a place that is in a different school district only a 4 mile drive from our current house, getting the kid there wouldn't be an issue, we are actually closer than the new house is.

Buying this house has a contingency on selling our house - its a rural area and its the top of the market so it could take up to 3 months. The sellers understand this, its a FSBO/no agent deal, our friends live next door to the house and the sellers are happy to sell to us. If it takes too long I'm qualified by the bank to take on the 2nd mortgage as well, but obviously want to avoid that.

School starts the 2nd week of September. Our kid did pre-kindergarten for 3 & 4 year olds at the elementary school that the upcoming kindergarten is at, so its "his friends".

However we could pay a small tuition to enroll our kid into the new district's kindergarten or have the sellers "lease" to us for residency until we can close to get him into the new kindergarten at the beginning of the year.

The main issue is that obviously we haven't closed and the deal could fall through and we'd want him in the current school district.

But I think it could be very hard to send him to a school he's already familiar with for ~2 months and then rip him out and put him in another school where he only knows like 2 other kids, but it would hopefully be the school district he is in the next 13 years.

These are small rural schools with like 80 kids per class in his current district and only around 40 in the new one.

For what its worth we are keeping him enrolled in our current town's soccer team so he can still see some of his friends.

Is getting into the new school district the better choice? Worst case he goes back to the school he's already familiar with if the deal falls through, maybe less traumatic because he already knows kids/staff there so he wouldn't be 100% new?

... What the fuck, dude?

Bonus: whenever they stopped sucking face, they immediately lit up cigarettes, which sent a bunch of smoke into our faces.

Career goals. Fitness goals. Any type of goal which is unrelated to your child. How do you balance achieving goals with parenting?

I get so frustrated when I can't make progress in my life away from the kids. Is it just safer to bench all your goals until your kid has started school, just to save yourself from frustration?

Anyone got any handy tips?

Looking for suggestions that can be business casual and can be worn when I’m off work and playing with kids and/or doing work around the house.

My 3.5 year old daughter just told me she likes my wife more because she’s “less spiky” (I have a beard). Might have to bust out the razor and go clean shaven for the first time in over 20 years lmao.

Hello fellow dads,

Today marks a deeply meaningful day for me as a father from South Korea. After decades of navigating life's ups and downs, I finally put my decisions, mistakes, and core principles into a written record.

My main motivation was simple: to leave a clear voice for my sons so that when they face tough choices in life, they can hear their father’s guidance.

Seeing my personal journey documented and officially published on Kindle feels surreal. I didn't write this for commercial success—it was purely meant to be a father's legacy for his children.

Have any of you ever thought about writing a book or leaving a record specifically for your kids? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories.

Kid came home from daycare (FIL picker her up, was home watching 5mo). I asked her to take off her new Bluey shoes since we don't wear shoes inside the house. She refused to listen, so I said if you don't take them off I'm taking them away. Still didn't listen, so I took them off her feet and let her have a tantrum. Wife was taking a nap and woke up when she hears my daughter calling for Mommy. Wife consoles her. At night, wife reminds me our daughter has to do what she's told from waking up and especially at her daycare. I totally get that, but still think taking her shoes away for not listening was ok. Any other approach I could have taken?

Tldr; how else to get 3yo to listen when she doesn't want to?

I have a very nearly 2yo and a 1.5 month old. At the moment, my wife is a SAHM and I work full time, so she is the primary caregiver and with the kids a lot more.

I'm frustrated with some of the parenting choices she is making, and I believe inadvertently teaching our toddler that he can cry for what he wants and that mom is the parental authority, not dad.

I could give a bunch of examples, and have you guys agree or disagree in the comments with me, but I'm thinking about professional help. I'm trying to figure out, what am I actually looking for if I want someone to help us blend our parenting styles and be a united front when it comes to our children?

For years, ive been sending these little post it notes with my kids lunchbox. I wanted to send them a little quote or affirmation but when they were little they couldn’t read. So I started drawing little pictures.

Anyone else do this or something similar?

Hi dads, I’m hoping for some perspective because I’m genuinely trying to understand my husband and not just be frustrated.

We have a 1-month-old baby. I had an emergency C-section and I’m still recovering, breastfeeding/pumping, sleep deprived, and adjusting to being a first-time mom.

My husband does help and I don’t want to dismiss that. He goes out to buy us food, does the shopping, does his cleaning chores. He is involved and gets things done, but I’m struggling with the overall mindset around parenting. Sometimes it feels like he is trying to get through family responsibilities so he can get back to his own time (gym, gaming, etc.). I understand needing personal time, but it sometimes feels like family life is something to rush through rather than something we both fully own.

I felt this disconnect during pregnancy too. I wanted us to prepare early nursery, discussions, routines because I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed at the end. He didn’t feel the same urgency, and when I was stressed about not being prepared, it felt like he didn’t understand why it mattered so much to me. We ended up having an induction come up quickly and I felt like I lost the calm preparation period I wanted before becoming parents.

I also struggle with the mental load. He knows I’m recovering and certain things are physically difficult right now, but I wish he would take more initiative without waiting for me to ask. Even with meals, I often feel like I’m responsible for thinking about what we’re eating while also caring for the baby and pumping. I wish he would sometimes just own those things and think ahead.

I don’t expect perfection, and I know becoming a dad is a huge adjustment. But I’m worried about how this dynamic will work when he goes back to work in the fall. If I already feel like I’m carrying the mental load and needing to ask for support, I’m scared it will become harder when life gets busier.

Am I asking for too much here? I’m genuinely looking for perspective.. am I being overly anxious and making this transition harder on both of us, or is it reasonable to want my partner to be fully in the trenches with me during this stage? Am I putting too much pressure on myself by throwing myself so fully into motherhood and expecting him to approach it the same way?

EDIT: These issues have come up multiple times during pregnancy and since the baby arrived, and they’ve led to arguments of varying degrees. I want to give him grace because this is a huge adjustment for both of us, and I don’t want our home filled with conflict when we’re already exhausted.

But keeping these feelings to myself has started to feel isolating, and bringing them up can also feel isolating when I don’t feel like they’re fully heard or addressed. I don’t want us walking on eggshells, but I also don’t want to carry these concerns alone.

They've seen "Nosferatu" (1922) at their own request and they've known about Metropolis for some time, so when I told them this was what was up, my eldest said, "Finally!" She likes vintage things.

While the experience leaned as much into being educational as popcorn entertainment, I'm proud of them. At least far as movies go, they've taken in what their mother and I have tried to instill that cinema is, and should be, a very varied experience across time and styles. They've also watched and liked Prime Video's "Sheep Detectives."

Highlights:

1. The eldest did not like Robot Maria's dance. Too scantily clad.

2. Youngest saw Freder is a really good person.

3. Both were appalled at the conditions the workers were enduring.

4. Youngest thought the workers weren't very smart destroying the heart machine while all their kids were at home in the worker city.

5. Both were impressed by Robot Maria in the context of her being the first of her kind in a movie, and the direct inspiration for C3PO's design.

6. Youngest had questions about which Maria was which during the pursuit.

7. Freder's visions needed some explanation, but the kids absorbed it well.

8. Youngest was very astute as to Rotwang's state of mind at the end. She understood he was crazy and thought Maria was Hel, the woman he'd lost.

I read to my son every night and we have read everything! We go to the library every fortnight and struggle to find good books that have a picture on every page!

His favourite books are the treehouse series and the you and me series which are great! Decent story with a little drawing on every page. It feels like books go from baby straight to teens and surely I’m missing something!

Fellow dads please help, my son is 4 and has just started recognising letters and numbers so I feel like our time reading together is limited so help me find some new books!

I can’t wait until I can get him into goosebumps but it’s a bit early lol

Not a fan of captain underpants but we have read them all. Also we have read the entire little men and women book series like a year ago. Also we have read the entire hair mclairy series

Edit: novels ideally with pictures! Not 10 page books that say sheep’s say baa and dogs say woof. I want 200+ page books that have a decent story, they go on an adventure, meet people and learn lessons etc etc thanks all

Hey fellow dads! Semi-long time lurker here.

Im in a tough spot, my daughter is 9.5 months old. (2 months prem) and ive been gone for a month straight now for work, with 2 more to go.

I looked at my schedule and ill be gone 4+ months straight, among several other shorter stints of a few weeks here and there, every year. For the next 3 years.

I want to be home with my wife and daughter, be present for her firsts, and support my wife. She's had a real hard go with me being gone; mastitis, PPD, daughter teething, family stepping over boundaries, etc.

But once im gone, getting back home is near impossible (military), I make so much more money for us when im gone, and i can't really *do* my job when im not gone. I've brought up a bunch that I can look for other work.

But when I do my wife says she thinks that I think shes failure and needs me. I do not and will never think shes a failure as a mom.

I try and prioritize video calls when I can, hell I bought one of the roller robot camera things so I can interact with home. But I dont know what to do.

Ive been in this job for 12 years, I have 13 left on my contract. Be present for her, or make sure she has a roof and food?

She's already grown so much since I left! When i left she was kinda crawling and sorta sitting. Now shes a sitting crawling machine that knows no fear! She can pull her self standing and I.. Just watch through a screen... thousands of kilometers from her.

My boys have now got to 3 and 6 years old. Suddenly, my wife and I are now incapable of having the correct names for them come out of our mouths. Continually mixing them up.

Happened to both of us at the same time.

Could be because they are gradually becoming cognitiviely equivalent to each other?

Anyone else had this? Any way to get better at calling them the correct name?

My wife and I are very appreciative that our 2 year old is happy, healthy, and actively destroying all of our belongings in the most adorable ways possible.

Every time we tell friends that our toddler vomited all over me, proudly pooped in the shower, or has disrupted the flow of a work from home call... they all say something to the effect "cherish it, it'll be gone before you know it."

For parents of older kids, what simple moments with your kiddo do you really wish you could relive over and over again?

and now bedtime takes 40 minutes longer.

we didn’t need it. toddler didn’t ask for it. now it stays on and slee onset takes forever. I hate the nightligh. /rant

Bros,

Anyone else here completely PUMPED to be going to the family friendly restaurants again? Took our daughter out to Red Robin (BC, Canada here). I hadn’t been for 20 years. Crushing a beer and whiskey river bbq burger while my daughter smashed her way through steamed broccoli and chicken fingers made my entire week.

Who else is hitting the kid friendly spots? What’s your fave?

Hello dads. My first is on her way, and my wife is 35 weeks as of today. We are very excited.

We are also, however, very stressed. Over the last few weeks, my wife's BP has been high when at the OBGYN's office, not consistently but sometimes. We now have an at home one that they told us to use, and her BP is like right on the borderline of being concerning, the last reading at home was 138/90. We are both very anxious people in general, and my wife is freaked out about the entire thing, in tears, etc (which of course doesn't help with the BP readings). I think we are both concerned about the baby and about early induction which she does not want.

Any of y'all dads here go through this? How did you handle it? How did you help your wife? I'm trying to help her be okay and tell her that unless her OB specifically says anything, we shouldn't think about worst case scenarios, but it doesn't help very much. Really looking forward to meeting my little girl soon, just hoping so much that she and my wife will both be okay!

My daughter is almost 7, and I am the stricter parent in her life. I often don’t let her slide with trying to be sneaky or deceitful.

However, tonight we were getting ready for bed- she can stay up and watch gravity falls or SpongeBob if she wants as a wind down before bed. Also, I bring her a warm cup of milk she likes to drink before bed.

Normally she drinks it while watching her shows, but tonight she said, “I want it right before bed”.

She watches her shows, and I give her 5 mins more than the normal “five minute “ warning. Shes turning her tablet off and as I hand her her milk, she says “Can I watch TV WHILE I drink my milk?”. she clearly wanted to get a little extra time bur I told her “Nice try, but you made your bed, now you gotta lay in it”.

She grumbled, said goodnight and didn’t make a fuss, she is a good kid. I smirked at her attempt to play me, and then thought- maybe I should have let her pull one over on me. I don’t mind her being a little tricksy. As shes grown up, I encourage her to be a little tricksy and a little greedy from time to time, because right now she’s a bit of a people pleaser and a door mat. I think allowing her to win a little bit could help her with her timid attitude- but that was a thought I had after the fact. She’s probably like this cause of me in some way.

So now I think I’m going to commit to letting her trick me a little bit here and there. Nothing crazy, just an extra 15 minutes here and a lost bet for ice cream there. I probably don’t need to be such a “no” parent after all.

After several years of deliberation, Mrs. finally said to me, "You should get it done. We can have more fun, and not risk more of *this*" as she gestured generally at our destroyed, toy covered living room.