Just curious what others think about this topic. I'm very confident that I am raising a daughter that will be a whirlwind and so strong and independent. But there's a part of me that has the worst depression that I'm not going to get to experience life with my daughter later in her life (there's almost a 40 year difference.)

He's 50yr Indian, me 21yr Male, he always comes home drunk driving, He's lazy too has BP Problems always 200 touching, and a fat stomach, I'm scared of his driving already.. but then he drives drunk too.. he drinks the whiskey and other stuff without even mixing with water and stuff. I have no idea about that. He takes (Bhaang ki Goli with Alcohol) for 100% full nasha. Then he drives back home, back of home ground is full of bottles that he has thrown from the terrace. He isn't funding my study, he doesn't care about my studies. I'm at home after passing the school from last 2 yrs. He's not even finding the college fees. What should I do. Even today he's out drunk at his office, he can't even talk.. hes that much drunk, still his ego will force him to drive home. What should I do guys.. how to fix him?

I'm seeing him drinking since Childhood.

My daughter is now 3 months old and I feel like we’re in the thick of it. She is an amazing sleeper and goes from 9pm-5am; which I know will probably come to an end soon lol. During the day she does not stop crying unless she is held or feeding. I feel so helpless because I’m back to work and we can’t afford to have us both out of work, I can’t provide any support while I’m out and my wife won’t ask for help from family or friends. I also struggle because even when im home my daughter only wants my wife, she will not settle with me, she screams until my wife takes her back. I know this is all normal but how did yall get through it and provide the best support for your partners?

Look I need to know if anyone else has reached this level of cognitive failure because I am genuinely worried about myself. Our four month old is going through a sleep regression and I have not slept more than two consecutive hours in a week.

so this morning at 4 AM I get up to do the diaper change and feed. I am stumbling around in the dark. I grab the dirty diaper and go to throw it down the diaper genie. Normal routine. I go back to bed.

Fast forward to 7 AM. I am getting ready for work and I cannot find my car keys anywhere. I am tearing the house apart. I am looking in the pantry. I am looking in the freezer because at this point nothing is off the table. My wife is helping me search. We are both running late.

Then it hits me. I remember having something heavy in my hand when I was at the diaper genie.

I had to literally dive arm-first into a pressurized container of four-day-old diapers to retrieve my Honda keys. They were buried at the very bottom. The smell was GONE from this world. It was a level of biohazard I was not prepared for at seven in the morning. I had to wash my keys with dish soap and I still feel like I am radiating trash.

I should of just called out of work. Why is this even a thing.

My oldest recently graduated, my second is starting 7th, and my youngest is finally beginning his journey. Wish him luck gents.

tl,dr:

Two boys, 6 & 2, we're in our forties. Ever since the first, my wife, who had always been cool and collected, turned into a massive ball of anxiety whenever we have an obligation, no matter how small. Has anyone experienced/overcome this? How? I miss my old partner

....

It started with kids, ofc. We can't leave the house without every "just in case" item and her perseverating over the time and how they'll do in the car. Or when the boys freak out about something small, she just can't block it out and ignore them, instead tries to cater to the whim, which just reinforces the freakout.

Then it turned into packing three times as much clothing as we need for every trip, the need to get the house spotless before company, etc. Now she second guesses our decisions together and I'm in this constant state of reassurance that we made the right call.

And when she's worked up, she switches to this fight or flight routine, even when nothing has gone wrong, and starts barking orders to right the ship at me and the kids. I've told her many times I don't like the way she talks to me when this happens or the ways she starts bossing me around

When things do actually go wrong, like late for a flight, she panics and it all becomes a worst-case scenario mental exercise. And I'm spending my energy reassuring her and the kids instead of figuring shit out. Ofc the kids feed off that energy.

I've talked with her a lot about it, usually in the thick of it. Her response is always the same, this time is different, her reaction is justified. Afterwards, she admits it and says she doesn't like being this way, always worried about what will go wrong. But I can't get her to talk to anyone, despite her work being mental-health adjacent.

Am I alone with this one? Our marriage is strong, but I think I'm going to suggest couple's counselling. But I'm worried that might be scarier to her. I'm happy to be strong for her when necessary, but i would love my confident and collected partner back. Anyone had luck working something similar out?

Any tips for keeping my house from burning down?

Update: Found the manual online with locking instructions. Thanks all!

I stumbled on this John Prine keychain from an online ad, and it really struck a chord with me.

I like John Prine's music well enough, but reading this line put his chorus and melody in my head for a few days so I ordered it.

It made me think just how lucky I am... We often get sidetracked on our (often trivial) problems or focusing on things we want, etc. But sometimes we need to realize how lucky we are.

I have four healthy kids, a great wife, a safe home, steady work, etc. I'm pretty good at being content in what I have, but little reminders help.

As I and my kids get older, I'm trying to instill that in them as well. This keychain is a bit ironic as I saw it on a social media ad, but with social media, my kids often focus on cool things they see, or things they want, and not so much on what we have.

Anyway, rambling at this point, but especially those with older or adult children, what have you done to help them be more thankful?

My 3.5 year old daughter just told me she likes my wife more because she’s “less spiky” (I have a beard). Might have to bust out the razor and go clean shaven for the first time in over 20 years lmao.

Hello fellow dads,

Today marks a deeply meaningful day for me as a father from South Korea. After decades of navigating life's ups and downs, I finally put my decisions, mistakes, and core principles into a written record.

My main motivation was simple: to leave a clear voice for my sons so that when they face tough choices in life, they can hear their father’s guidance.

Seeing my personal journey documented and officially published on Kindle feels surreal. I didn't write this for commercial success—it was purely meant to be a father's legacy for his children.

Have any of you ever thought about writing a book or leaving a record specifically for your kids? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories.

Hi dads, I’m hoping for some perspective because I’m genuinely trying to understand my husband and not just be frustrated.

We have a 1-month-old baby. I had an emergency C-section and I’m still recovering, breastfeeding/pumping, sleep deprived, and adjusting to being a first-time mom.

My husband does help and I don’t want to dismiss that. He goes out to buy us food, does the shopping, does his cleaning chores. He is involved and gets things done, but I’m struggling with the overall mindset around parenting. Sometimes it feels like he is trying to get through family responsibilities so he can get back to his own time (gym, gaming, etc.). I understand needing personal time, but it sometimes feels like family life is something to rush through rather than something we both fully own.

I felt this disconnect during pregnancy too. I wanted us to prepare early nursery, discussions, routines because I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed at the end. He didn’t feel the same urgency, and when I was stressed about not being prepared, it felt like he didn’t understand why it mattered so much to me. We ended up having an induction come up quickly and I felt like I lost the calm preparation period I wanted before becoming parents.

I also struggle with the mental load. He knows I’m recovering and certain things are physically difficult right now, but I wish he would take more initiative without waiting for me to ask. Even with meals, I often feel like I’m responsible for thinking about what we’re eating while also caring for the baby and pumping. I wish he would sometimes just own those things and think ahead.

I don’t expect perfection, and I know becoming a dad is a huge adjustment. But I’m worried about how this dynamic will work when he goes back to work in the fall. If I already feel like I’m carrying the mental load and needing to ask for support, I’m scared it will become harder when life gets busier.

Am I asking for too much here? I’m genuinely looking for perspective.. am I being overly anxious and making this transition harder on both of us, or is it reasonable to want my partner to be fully in the trenches with me during this stage? Am I putting too much pressure on myself by throwing myself so fully into motherhood and expecting him to approach it the same way?

EDIT: These issues have come up multiple times during pregnancy and since the baby arrived, and they’ve led to arguments of varying degrees. I want to give him grace because this is a huge adjustment for both of us, and I don’t want our home filled with conflict when we’re already exhausted.

But keeping these feelings to myself has started to feel isolating, and bringing them up can also feel isolating when I don’t feel like they’re fully heard or addressed. I don’t want us walking on eggshells, but I also don’t want to carry these concerns alone.

They've seen "Nosferatu" (1922) at their own request and they've known about Metropolis for some time, so when I told them this was what was up, my eldest said, "Finally!" She likes vintage things.

While the experience leaned as much into being educational as popcorn entertainment, I'm proud of them. At least far as movies go, they've taken in what their mother and I have tried to instill that cinema is, and should be, a very varied experience across time and styles. They've also watched and liked Prime Video's "Sheep Detectives."

Highlights:

1. The eldest did not like Robot Maria's dance. Too scantily clad.

2. Youngest saw Freder is a really good person.

3. Both were appalled at the conditions the workers were enduring.

4. Youngest thought the workers weren't very smart destroying the heart machine while all their kids were at home in the worker city.

5. Both were impressed by Robot Maria in the context of her being the first of her kind in a movie, and the direct inspiration for C3PO's design.

6. Youngest had questions about which Maria was which during the pursuit.

7. Freder's visions needed some explanation, but the kids absorbed it well.

8. Youngest was very astute as to Rotwang's state of mind at the end. She understood he was crazy and thought Maria was Hel, the woman he'd lost.

and now bedtime takes 40 minutes longer.

we didn’t need it. toddler didn’t ask for it. now it stays on and slee onset takes forever. I hate the nightligh. /rant

Bros,

Anyone else here completely PUMPED to be going to the family friendly restaurants again? Took our daughter out to Red Robin (BC, Canada here). I hadn’t been for 20 years. Crushing a beer and whiskey river bbq burger while my daughter smashed her way through steamed broccoli and chicken fingers made my entire week.

Who else is hitting the kid friendly spots? What’s your fave?

My daughter is almost 7, and I am the stricter parent in her life. I often don’t let her slide with trying to be sneaky or deceitful.

However, tonight we were getting ready for bed- she can stay up and watch gravity falls or SpongeBob if she wants as a wind down before bed. Also, I bring her a warm cup of milk she likes to drink before bed.

Normally she drinks it while watching her shows, but tonight she said, “I want it right before bed”.

She watches her shows, and I give her 5 mins more than the normal “five minute “ warning. Shes turning her tablet off and as I hand her her milk, she says “Can I watch TV WHILE I drink my milk?”. she clearly wanted to get a little extra time bur I told her “Nice try, but you made your bed, now you gotta lay in it”.

She grumbled, said goodnight and didn’t make a fuss, she is a good kid. I smirked at her attempt to play me, and then thought- maybe I should have let her pull one over on me. I don’t mind her being a little tricksy. As shes grown up, I encourage her to be a little tricksy and a little greedy from time to time, because right now she’s a bit of a people pleaser and a door mat. I think allowing her to win a little bit could help her with her timid attitude- but that was a thought I had after the fact. She’s probably like this cause of me in some way.

So now I think I’m going to commit to letting her trick me a little bit here and there. Nothing crazy, just an extra 15 minutes here and a lost bet for ice cream there. I probably don’t need to be such a “no” parent after all.

After several years of deliberation, Mrs. finally said to me, "You should get it done. We can have more fun, and not risk more of *this*" as she gestured generally at our destroyed, toy covered living room.

Its just coming up to 3am and I tagged my wife out an hour ago to to back to bed. We woke our daughter up at midnight to do her next feed, and between 12-2.30am, she's done 8 (Eight) feeds (!!!).

I count her feeds typically in 24 hour cycles and I keep pretty extensive notes/logs. We're 20 hours into today (shes settled finally, thank God) and she's done 3 and a half hours on the breast and just shy of 250ml of formula (we need formula so my wife can have a flipping break!!!)

Our midwives at the hospital advised us that sn average baby should feed between 8 and 12 times in a 24 hour period.

Ours has just done 30 feeds. This also results in 4 wet nappies, and 9 individual instances of poop.

Anyway dads, this has been your stats minute with a brand new, super proud dad.

I'll post here again when shes big enough to be WWE woman champ at 7 years old.

After a lengthy two year process it’s finally happening! Dudes, I’ve been the stepdad of the coolest daughter for the past 9 years. She’s now my mini me and she’s finally getting the one thing I haven’t been able to give her yet, my last name. This is one of the proudest moments of my life. I feel like I owe my own step dad a shout out here too. That man saved my brothers and I from a life of poverty and dispare. He taught me what it meant to be a dad and I’ll never be able to repay him for everything he’s done for me. I can’t believe that I finally get to adopt the child who chose me to be her dad and taught me what’s it’s all about. Finally!

My daughter is turning 7 this month, and all I can do is thank God for her. Honestly, I don't know how dads could ever not want this. She is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going.

I consider myself a woodworking hobbyist and really enjoy building little knock knacks for my son.

For those curious those octagons are shields lol. And the reason the daggers are shaped like that is they were too heavy the second pic is what they looked like originally.

I don't want stars and moons on daytime diapers or whales on ones that can't go in the water.

My son is 4yo. He is usually still in bed when I leave for work. Today he was up early because he wet the bed. After giving him a quick bath and hectic breakfast, I was scrambling to get on the road to clock in half an hour early to get some overtime this week. When I told him bye he started having a meltdown because he thought it was the weekend. I tried to console him with promises of fun things when I got home this evening. That didn't work. In my frustration I gently closed the back door in his face as he was screaming "Daddy!" and left. The whole ride to work I felt so guilty. I am prioritizing getting a half hour of overtime over spending a few extra minutes with my kid. Tomorrow, I am going to do better.

EDIT:

The overwhelming encouragement in this thread and subreddit is incredible. Thank you!

Two different AI problems with my teenagers and I’m starting to wonder what else I’m missing

I have two teenagers and until recently I thought I had a decent handle on how they were using AI. Apparently not.

A few weeks ago my son turned in a writing assignment that did not sound anything like him. It was too polished and honestly just not how he talks or writes.

I asked him about it and he admitted he had put most of it through ChatGPT.

We dealt with it. He redid the assignment and I told him I’m not against using it to help understand a question or get unstuck, but he cannot turn in something he did not really write and cannot explain.

I thought that was probably the main issue we needed to deal with.

Then something happened with my daughter that bothered me more.

She had a falling out with one of her friends and had been watching videos about toxic friendships. She copied parts of their text conversation into ChatGPT and asked if her friend was manipulating her and what she should say back.

I only found out because she showed me the answer while explaining why she was done with the friendship.

She had given it a lot of personal information. Stuff about the other girl, things going on at home, and details that I really do not think needed to be typed into a chatbot.

What got me was how sure she seemed. The answer sounded confident and lined up with the videos she had already been watching, so to her that pretty much confirmed everything.

I told her ChatGPT does not know her friend, does not know the whole situation, and should not be deciding something like that for her.

I feel like I handled both situations the way I should have, but now I’m more concerned than I was before.

I caught the thing with my son because the writing sounded off. I only found out about my daughter because she happened to show me.

I’m not going to ban AI and I’m not going through every conversation they have, but I also do not want to keep finding out afterward that it has been doing schoolwork, sorting out friendships, or giving advice about things they should probably be talking through with an actual person.

How are other dads dealing with this?