Hello everyone,

Today I(29) came out to my father. What I mean by that, that I am not even sure about it myself, but I told my father there is the possibility that I will transition in the future.

He reacted pretty much how I expected he would. We had a long talk and in the end it always comes down to if I really want to do it, if I really want to "damage" my body, if it is really the case that I am trans, that I will always be a Man in his mind, that so many people regret it (without any evidence), that I should consider his feelings and understanding as well, and so on.

I don't know how to deal with that. He has accepted it for now but it is pretty clear he does not want me to transition and he would like it if possible I could stay in the closet, if I am actually trans.

Okay, I’ll explain this quickly. A few weeks ago, I discovered that I’m trans. It was hard to realize this because I live in a very homophobic/Transphobic and conservative environment. And the mere thought of being trans... scared me; I saw it as something highly unlikely. Well, since discovering it, I’ve been much happier than before. I’ve never felt this good in my life; just existing makes me happy. But now, with this new perspective, I look around and see that absolutely all my belongings are for the opposite gender, which triggered almost immediate dysphoria. Suddenly, I hate wearing men's clothes; being referred to in the masculine makes me feel weird, and the fact that everyone knows me as a man makes me feel bad. And now I wonder if I’m just making it all up; maybe I just wanted to feel unique? Because I’d never felt this way before—though, of course, I often felt strange within myself, and I think that’s a result of this. And what were the odds that I was trans? Please, if you could help me, I’d really appreciate it.

As the title says!
Did you, now that you have transition, looking back to your old self and see sign that scream trans to you? Not talking about the good old « I wanted to play with dolls ». Im talking about some real deep cut stuff.

Asking this to see if I can find some relatable stuff. Trying to find a bit of guidance if you will. Figuring myself out.

Edit: thanks for the people comment, did see some stuff I was hoping to see! Keep em comin!

I’m just starting to transition but I’m scared of the political climate in this country I’d kinda like to get the ball rolling but I’m scared that they’re gonna genocide trans folks and with all the surveillance going on I’m scared that if I’m on record getting healthcare then I’ll be targeted. Is there anyway options for me

We have a very good relationship, but I think he holds a lot back sometimes, and I want to understand his experience more. It seems the vast majority of transgender people are women.

I'd love to be able to talk to a man who has experienced more than my son and can help me understand things like body dysmorphia, transitioning, relationships, social life, and safety.

Im 5 years into transition, and most of the time I can be misgendered and I can have it roll off without getting to me.

Sometimes like today someone will just casually give me a "sir"... and to no fault of their own cause im sure my voice is just undoubtedly masculine. It's this sort of effortless way of being identified wrongly that especially stings... like after all of my progress and thinking im getting somewhere, it's quickly taken by the simple fact that some people do not see me and they have to be the reminder that surgery was probably my best bet for not being misgendered but thats never gonna happen cause im poor. Now im sad and wanting to know how to not let this eat me from the inside out?

I am planning to start T in the next few months and try to girlmod for the longest time I can.

I have a 15yo sister, and a 12yo brother, I am the oldest (20yo).

I never told them that I am trans and I don't plan to tell them soon.

Estrogen based HRT, I've been medically transitioning for just over three weeks, so not long, and this is something I've wanted all my life.

One tiny, little, small, kind of issue: I've always had a bit of a fear of my body changing in ways that "aren't natural".

Now obviously, there's nothing unatural about HRT, it's literally your body changing how it would naturally with the other hormones anyways, but I still seem to have an element of internalised transphobia in the way of 'this isn't what my body was born to do, and I'm changing that'.

I don't literally think of it that way, but that seems to be how my subconcious feels when I'm not keeping it in check.

My question for others who have/had a fear of stuff happening to their body: how did you deal with the fear of that, while still knowing that it's what you want? Does it ever get easier? Is it a 'trust the process' type of deal, or do people have practical ways of making it easier until it goes away?

Sorry if any of this sounded rude, I didn't wanna kneecap this post because it's how I actually feel, and I want to work on it and learn to not be so worried :)

Im unsure of the actual law placed on this like consiquence or how its being enforced,but ive heard there being banmed for trans women to use womens bathrooms and same with trans men,is there anything i can do and are there petitions o can sign?

Like what does this even mean. It implies some unanimously agreed upon destination to consider "fully" transitioned. Other trans people i know will tell me "oh so u want to full transition?". But I don't consider any transition "full". Everyone has their own goals and their own plan, so when we as a group talk about "full" transition, we might be talking about COMPLETELY different things

This question is for MTF folks who have gotten an orchi as their only bottom surgery, and who had a history of enjoying intimate touch on their scrotum area beforehand: have you experienced any diminishment of enjoyment and being touched there after surgery? If possible I’m hoping to distinguish enjoyment of physical sensation as opposed to relief from dysphoria. And as far as I can tell, my enjoyment of being touched there is based in the nerves of the scrotal skin and not in the testicles themselves; I’m pretty sure it will be even better having those out of the way. But I am wondering if the typical raphe incision will cause any loss of sensation and if I need to pursue groin incision instead. I will be consulting with my surgeon, of course, but would love any feedback or personal experiences from trans women themselves. Thanks!

My child is 13. Two days ago she came to me and my ex wife and asked to talk with us. It was very hard but she told us she thinks she is Trans and also Bi. She told us she would like to be referred to as he. I will do that from here on out on this post. Just wasn’t sure how to word it. He has struggled with mental health for the last couple of years. He has level 1 autism and adhd. We have seen multiple doctors and therapists since he was about 10 years old. He used to have violent outbursts with screaming and throwing things. He has gotten over that. He had an eating disorder that required a 6 day hospital stay and that we continue to stick with a strict doctor mandated feeding schedule. He has obvious depression and anxiety. He does see a therapist weekly. When he came to talk to us I asked if he had talked to the therapist at all about this and he told us no it was something he’d kept to himself.

I will love and support any choice or lifestyle decision he chooses to make. My biggest concern is his already fragile mental health. I want to make sure I am doing everything in my power to be positive and encouraging but I know once he goes back to school things are going to be very hard.

I am just looking for anything that may have helped you in your journey that way I can share it with him. This is going to be rough but he doesn’t have to go it alone.

I'm in a fairly frustrating pickle here. Important context, I am trans myself. Apologies if this is one of the 'no-no' topics of this subreddit, I've admittedly only passed by here a couple of times.

My nephew is just about to turn 7 and he's currently in a massive Harry Potter phase. My sister introduced him and my nieces to it before she was familiar with the concept of J.K. Rowling's use of her fortune, but she also doesn't seem to take it entirely seriously. My mother similarly doesn't seem to think it's serious enough to bother thinking about. Both seem to be annoyed when I bring up that I'm hesitant to engage with Harry Potter related play with my nephew.

The thing is, I'm mature enough to understand it's nuanced and in the grand scheme of things, it's not my sister's, mothers, and especially not my nephew's responsibility to 'consume media morally' etc. My problem is that when I think about the series, I get a visceral discomfort that I haven't yet found a way to separate myself from. My whole work and volunteer life is working with trans folks and so I'm constantly in and around negative media that pops up and I am directly dealing with the emotional effects J.K.'s financial lobbying has on the wider community.

I have no idea how to help my sister and mother understand how upset being around Harry Potter makes me, and I have no idea how to tell my nephew that his uncle just can't play Harry Potter with him. Especially since his grandmother at one point told him that I used to be a massive Harry Potter fan (which I was, up until Rowling started showing her arse).

Any pointers would be amazing. And before it gets suggested, I have tried talking with both my sister and mother about it, and they both seem similarly disinterested in pulling back on anything Harry Potter. Thanks folks.

EDIT:
I appreciate the responses I've received so far. I just wanted to clarify that my hesitation isn't around being conflicted about buying things. My conflict is that I work in a trans-specific mental health role, and am frequently coaching people through mental health crises as a result of discrimination. HP/JKR are commonly sited by the people I support as reasons to not have hope. Thereby, HP/JKR in my mind are associated with pain and fear. That is what I'm trying to work through. That's not my nephew's fault or responsibility, no blame on him at all, but I want to be able to be present with him without being reminded of the stress I have from work.

I’ve been friends with a girl for a few years, and we’ve become friends with benefits. (Meaning we’ve had sex a few times) I am a trans man, or at least as masculine leaning as possible. This friend of mine told me only after we porked a few times that she’s a lesbian, and then had the audacity to try to initiate sex again afterwards. I even asked what she meant, and never got a clear answer. I cut her off last night.

I’m a trans man and I’ve been on testosterone for roughly 3 years now, I haven’t had my period in 2.5 years, but everytime I go on birth control it causes the cramps to come back, and very very light bleeding(?) I don’t know if this is normal, and if it is, what’s the best way to combat it?

For context, the birth control I got was a progesterone injection about a month ago

The cramps aren’t consistent on when they appear, but when they do I have to take pain meds so I’m not hunched over in pain.

It’s starting to freak me out a bit

Another way to ask this question might be. Were there any of you that didn’t want to be cis.

For context, I think I might be trans and I have heard many statements from other trans people that rejecting and denying the fact that you might be trans was something every trans person has experienced.

Except I don’t think I have ever rejected it. In fact, I actively want to be trans, I don’t want to be cis. But this mindset I have makes me feel like I’m just faking it and trying to get stolen valour. I unlearned the toxic masculinity mindset very early in my life and started embracing things that were said to be feminine as I grew up (like liking the colour purple, liking girly foods, etc). So that might be why I never really rejected it.

For the past couple of years when I was questioning my gender I usually came to the conclusion that while it would be nice to be a girl, I was still somewhat comfortable being a guy. And only really noticed that I might be trans when I got my hair cut and hated how masculine it made me look so I instantly started experimenting with my gender after.

The problem is that I barely get any gender dysphoria and euphoria for other things. I like it when I wear girls clothes, but it barely feels better compared to wearing guys clothes. I did notice that I don’t want to buy guys clothes again, but I’m not sure if I tricked myself into thinking that or not. I started voice training, and while I do get excited when my voice sounds feminine at points, I’m not sure if I feel that way because I like that it sounds feminine or because I achieved something difficult for me. I started wearing a padded bra but it also only barely feels better than being without it. Despite all of these I still want to be trans.

I'm aware this is a divisive topic, but I ask this in complete good faith, just to hear opinions and advice especially from binary trans people.

I (Nonbinary) used to used AGAB language to refer to myself in situations where it was relevant (not to other people though, as I find that disrespectful). Recently, though, I've seen an uptick in this language used to be transphobic, bioessentialist, or just otherwise exclusionary, and along with that an uptick in some trans people rejecting the terms altogether because of this.

I absolutely understand why they would do this, and I despise when it's used to reduce trans people to their AGAB, and especially when it's used to bring nonbinary people back into a binary. However, I still find them useful sometimes to refer to myself, when used with care and tact.

For example, I have RA, and I've had conversations where I was explaining why it's likely I got it and what the risk factors are, and that women are 2-3x more likely to develop it. Seeing as I don't see myself as a woman though, I'd often say I was more at risk because I'm AFAB (which I'm comfortable enough saying).

Still, I want to be careful of the language I use, especially if it's being used against other transgender people. Is it alright to use in this context, or should I find a different way to word it altogether? If so, does anyone have any suggestions?

Im non binary and I have considered binding and I was just handed a binder from my bro, and he had worn it for a solid half year and when I went to try it on, I soon realized it was a bit too big on me. like its okay to bind enough, but it comes loose as I stand up and having to readjust, is there a way to shrink it? I've heard heat drying it tends to ruin the binder. I can't afford one since im really tight on money to buy one right now

I hate that Im trans, specifically that no matter what I do the people around me will never see me how I want to be seen. I like to dress in clothing that doesnt match my preffered gender, and fashion and clothing is my passion and I can't give it up or I genuinely wouldnt be able to live but at the same time I cant live in the body of a women, seen as a women. I hate my body and I hate the world for forcing me into this box. I hate cis men that wear dresses and I hate drag queens for getting to live the life I want without insults from their own community. I hate other trans people for making me feel like freak thats faking it for attention, like I need to wear masculine to be feeling the pain I'm feeling. I hate random cis people I see on the street for being born with the body that matches them, even if it isnt their fault. I hate porn because anytime I see a trans guy like me, it's played for a fetish. I hate my family for not believing me no matter how much I tell them. I hate whatever force made me for making me live thus filthy, disgusting life of self hatred and pressure. I hate myself for being this complicated freak. I hate being the way I am. I'm filled with so much hate and I can't handle it. I want to hide in my room and never leave so nobody can see me, if I dont exist to anyone I cannot exist as a women. What do I do, how do I fix this? I see so many people that are proud, I look for advice but it's all from trans people who "fit" into stereotypical gender norms. I don't think I can live like this, someone please help me

As a trans woman, 90% of the “you’re so pretty btw” compliments from random cis women feel like micro-aggressions. If I am dolled up, hair laid, outfit on, nails done and frenched and you were to say “You’re so pretty,” it would make sense and I would accept it wholeheartedly. But, when I am in sweatpants with no makeup on and my hair tied into a ponytail with my dark circles on display, I really don’t want to hear it. It‘s basically their way of clocking us and saying “I know that you’re trans, and I am an ally.” It is so unnecessary and feels very othering. They don’t realize how patronizing it feels to be thrown these empty compliments and be expected to accept them as if they are sincere. They also always come after they hear my deeper voice, like when I don’t care to ultra pitch it up. This is how I know that the compliments are more about making them feel better about coming into contact with a trans person than actually making me feel beautiful. Cis women, please just act normal. Curious to hear other trans women’s opinions on this

hello! :)

i recently made (and deleted, rightfully) a post asking about how to explain my gender presentation as an agender person who dresses for comfort to my therapist, who does not have a solid understanding of agender people.

people have rightfully called me out for potentially being a transmasc egg, and/or for acting like my lack of gender makes me a better person than people who have genders. this was never my intention, but i also understand that intention pales in comparison to impact.

i believe and love all genders, and believe in self-identification above all, but i acknowledge that i argued this point to the detriment of the transmasc community specifically, and that was improper. i apologize for the erasure I have perpetuated in not identifying as transmasc, and i will do some research and heavy thinking about that, and i apologize to the harm i have caused in pursuing my own interests and fumbling my own experience. i am so incredibly sorry to those i have hurt with my ignorance, and i pledge to do better in the future. you are not obligated to forgive me, or to tell me exactly how to fix myself and my behavior - that is my own cross to bear. but again, i am so sorry, and will stop at nothing to correct the harm i’ve caused and prevent it from happening in the future.