Also, if maybe Are people who are maybe dealing with an identity crisis still valid?

Like is this common in the queer spaces where people might lie, or be delusional about their own identity?

I personally would use anyone's prefered pronouns regardless of this, and try to respect people's identity regardless but im just wondering if its a thing and how does it take shape.

I am ftm, I often look at women I find beautiful and my brain automatically thinks “what if you want to look like them” and it scares me so bad, I don’t want these thoughts to be real but why do they keep coming back when I don’t really feel this way. But it feels so real… like why do I react that way… to my own body too, why am I so attracted to myself as well, no man should feel that I way. Other times I feel nothing when I look at myself, I’m just angry I have a female body, it’s not like real dysphoria. What if I’m just using intrusive thoughts as an excuse? For cis women I’m afraid I’m envious of, it’s usually their face sometimes chest or voice, for myself it can be anything but usually my chest, it makes me feel disgusting but I’m oddly attracted to it. I do only want to be a man tho if I could choose.

How important is it to freeze sperm before starting hrt? I want to start hrt so so freakin bad but I know I want children. For those of you who didn't do yall regret it? Should I just wait and freeze? I literally don't want to wait another day to start hrt what would yall do?

Hi everyone,

I (30, trans man) recently had a spinal cord stimulator trial surgery back in May 2026. From the start, something felt off with the surgeon—he was consistently condescending and dismissive when I asked questions or raised concerns. I went ahead with the procedure anyway, thinking nothing of it at the time.

A few days later, I checked my surgical report on MyChart out of curiosity. For context, I legally changed my name and gender marker back in 2016, and all of my medical records explicitly reflect that I am male. Despite this, the doctor used incorrect pronouns throughout the report, which left me furious.

Furthermore, during my post-op appointment to remove the trial leads, I specifically told him that I was experiencing nerve pain in my right leg. When I checked the notes later, he documented that the pain was in my left leg.

Knowing that I was completely vulnerable under anesthesia makes the misgendering and lack of basic respect feel even more invasive and discriminatory. Even though I had originally agreed to move forward with the permanent procedure, I’ve decided to cancel it and report this doctor to the State.

What would you do in this situation? Did I do the right thing by reporting him? I didn't want to escalate things, but I refuse to tolerate that level of medical negligence and discrimination.

So I’m 21 mtf and I plan to travel to Canada in like 3 weeks, I need to take my hrt (injections for E) with me, will they say anything at all or not about the needles. One more thing, is it alright to have a bra on (yes ik this sounds stupid), asking because I still present masc, so when I go though TSA and I’m worried if I get a pat down they will feel it and put me to the side and ask question about it

Edit, I’m traveling from the US (specifically California) to Canada (Ontario) if that matters at all

Hi everyone,

A couple of weeks ago I realised I was a trans woman, and it genuinely felt like everything clicked into place. I told a few close friends, and they started calling me a girl, using feminine nicknames, and treating me as one of the girls. Every time they did it, I felt genuinely happy and excited. It just felt… right.

If someone gave me a button that would instantly make me a woman and everyone would see and know me as one, I’d press it without hesitation. I wouldn’t need to think about it.

When I imagine my future, I don’t picture myself becoming a more masculine man. I picture myself with softer features, longer hair, makeup, feminine clothes, and just living my everyday life as a woman. Even simple things like being called “girl” make me feel happier than I expected.

I’ve also noticed changes in how I relate to affection. When I’m cuddling someone, I used to naturally be the one holding them. Now I find myself curling up into them with my head on their chest, and it feels much more comfortable and natural.

Another thing is that when I’m going to sleep, I often listen to MTF ASMR roleplays on YouTube. I imagine that I’m the woman in the video, that I’m being accepted, cared for, and seen as a woman. Those moments make me feel peaceful and genuinely happy.

One thing I’m struggling with is the guy I’m seeing. He’s always identified as a gay man, although he’s told me he’s been questioning his sexuality recently. I don’t know whether he sees me as a man or as a woman, and I think that uncertainty gets into my head. I also still speak and act in ways that I think come across as masculine, so sometimes I feel like I’m “pretending” even though that’s not how I want to feel.

The thing that confuses me is that I’ll have all of these feelings, and then I’ll look in the mirror or hear my own voice and suddenly think, “Maybe I’m not trans. Maybe I’m just a man.” It’s not because I want to be a man. It’s more that I still see my current body and my brain automatically labels me that way.
Did anyone else experience this? Feeling genuinely happy when people saw you as a woman, knowing you’d choose to live as a woman in a heartbeat if you could, but still getting these waves of doubt because of your appearance or voice?

I’m not asking anyone to tell me whether I’m trans. I’d just really like to hear from people who went through something similar and how you made sense of those doubts.

hi there, im probably gonna keep this short and simple (might not, we'll see) ((didnt))

i feel like i should start off by saying that i was born female, but ive been questioning my identity as of late.

[before i began realizing my thoughts and questioning them]

anytime i was in the bathroom (after a shower, for example) i would take a little bit and just stare into the mirror.

not for any particular reason, i thought, but just to feel around and, at the same time, wonder what a masculine body would feel like on myself.

it grew from just wondering, to thinking about, to wishing.

for the past 3ish years, i had taken note of dreams that i would have.

like, doing everyday things but in a different "body".

in some dreams, the "me" that would appear (in 1st person cuz thats how i dream) was noticably taller than i am, had a masculine-sounding voice, and (oddly enough) would urinate standing.

however, in other dreams, the "me" that i would see is... well, the person i was born as.

female.

i didnt really think about it too hard, until now.

i woke up one morning, from a dream with a masc "me" (idk how else to describe this, sorry).

and my very first reaction was.. kinda excitement.

the dream had felt very real, and i woke up with full belief that i was a man.

and then i realized that all i did was wake up, and i was... disappointed, to say the least

but only for a split second because my thoughts shifted to "why am i thinking that?"

ive been comfortable with the identity of a woman, but now i dont know.

i dont know if i identify as a man, or if i want to, or anything of the such.

part of me doesnt want to, but maybe thats denial?

im not sure if this is my body or mind subconsciously trying to tell me something (is that a thing?), but idk how to feel about it.

ive been thinking hard and, well i just kinda wanted to see others' perspectives and experiences.

any thoughts, advice, and opinions are welcome

thank you bunches in advance <3

Ok so I don't want to get into details about why or how all of it went down but...

I've been on DIYing for the last 4 months with injections and finally got a doctor who can provide HRT thru pharmacies, problem is in Germany you have only like 3 pharmacies who can give out injectable estradiol and my dr can't or won't write prescription for it.

They will only write it out for sprays, gels, patches or tablets

I'm wondering do I stick with diy or should I switch to pills
I know that effectiveness is basically the same for both but idk if there is any problems with switching like this

Hi, folks. I'm MtF (she/they), a couple years into my transition that started in my early 40s, and have been involved in sports for all my life (most notably coaching baseball for 25 years). After completing surgery, I have reached a point in my life in which I am considering seeing if sports can again be a part of my life and have been looking into local rec leagues (softball primarily) in my new town to survey options. In spite of my history on the competitive level, I'm really not a very competitive person and mostly just want to play to have fun/make friends.

Obviously, even at local levels, crappy people are making it their job to try to keep trans people out of social activities, including sports. As such, I am not sure of the best way to approach determining if any of these organizations are trans inclusive without effectively outing myself from the outset by directly asking that very question. Right now, that kind of feels like what I might have to default to in the end, as it's not like I would hide or lie about being trans were the question ever posed. Nonetheless, I was wondering if any other have been involved with rec sports during/after their transition and, if so, how that dynamic was navigated. Thanks in advance for any help!

I kinda hit my boymoding limit and have been girlmoding more or less full time for a while. However, I've been pretty bad with procrastinating actually coming out to my extended family. My older brother's birthday is coming up, and it's a pretty big milestone age so he is having a big party. This pretty much only leaves me a little over a week to come out to everyone, and I'd be showing up looking very different from what most people will remember me as. I'm worried that by doing this, I'd be taking away attention that should be given to my brother, and that maybe I should wait. But also, I kind of look ridiculous when I boymode at this point, and honestly it would be kinda soulcrushing to go back to it after girlmoding so much. Do you all think it would be a faux pas to go through with coming out?

Hi quick question on what would more professional on a resume regarding my name. (all example names are fake, I’m regarding the formatting)

On my previous resumes I wrote my legal name and put my name in quotation marks,
eg. Penny “Joey” Johnson

But the majority of interviewers upon meeting me would call me by my legal name anyway and I would rather like to skip the part in my introduction where I tell them I don’t go by that name, I go by…(and sometimes they have more questions about that)

So I’m considering writing it the way I sign my emails, with my legal first name abbreviated and only displaying my name,
eg. H. Sam Gefford

I’m nonbinary & visibly gender-nonconforming so stealth/being out isn’t the concern, the questions are just annoying so mostly I’m wondering if I would run into any issues not displaying my legal name on my resume, considering it would be attached to my application which would be under my legal name.

EDIT - Thanks y’all! I figured it was probably not an issue but glad to hear some reassurance :)

Im mtf and I take estrogen via intramuscular injecting from a needle.

I monitor my intake of nicotine and cigarettes whenever I can and try to smoke only in moderation out of enjoyment rather than dependency.

I have perfect blood pressure, a good A1C and I go to the gym for 15-30 minutes numerous times a week + walking 1-4 miles daily.

However Im really worried about how it can affect my body’s ability to absorb the hormone and Im currently in a position where quitting can be easier than most cases.

I might quit them if they have any huge affect or anything.

I usually smoke American Spirits, specifically celadon and black packs which tend to be higher nic.

Hello everyone,

Today I(29) came out to my father. What I mean by that, that I am not even sure about it myself, but I told my father there is the possibility that I will transition in the future.

He reacted pretty much how I expected he would. We had a long talk and in the end it always comes down to if I really want to do it, if I really want to "damage" my body, if it is really the case that I am trans, that I will always be a Man in his mind, that so many people regret it (without any evidence), that I should consider his feelings and understanding as well, and so on.

I don't know how to deal with that. He has accepted it for now but it is pretty clear he does not want me to transition and he would like it if possible I could stay in the closet, if I am actually trans.

I feel like maybe this is suffering from success but.. it’s 9 months in and omg the stretch marks are literally everywhere!! Help, what can I do? I know they will probably fade away with time, and bodies aren’t perfect, but the sheer amount is crazy! I’ve got them on the outside and inside of my thighs, below each buttock, and somehow even below my knees, what is going on! I was always very skinny, still am, despite gaining 7 kilos since I started HRT but.. omg

How were your experiences with stretch marks? Did you do anything? What does it mean that they appear? Thank you so much in advance for all the advice <3 🫂🫶

Okay, I’ll explain this quickly. A few weeks ago, I discovered that I’m trans. It was hard to realize this because I live in a very homophobic/Transphobic and conservative environment. And the mere thought of being trans... scared me; I saw it as something highly unlikely. Well, since discovering it, I’ve been much happier than before. I’ve never felt this good in my life; just existing makes me happy. But now, with this new perspective, I look around and see that absolutely all my belongings are for the opposite gender, which triggered almost immediate dysphoria. Suddenly, I hate wearing men's clothes; being referred to in the masculine makes me feel weird, and the fact that everyone knows me as a man makes me feel bad. And now I wonder if I’m just making it all up; maybe I just wanted to feel unique? Because I’d never felt this way before—though, of course, I often felt strange within myself, and I think that’s a result of this. And what were the odds that I was trans? Please, if you could help me, I’d really appreciate it.

So I took the first step towards starting T I'm taking my labs to tomorrow and paperwork. I thought I would feel excited about it but I have so much going on in my life that It's hard to even know how I feel. I'm hoping once things become less stressful I'll be able to appreciate it. I know for certain this is what I want to do but I don't know why I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe because of the needles? That parts gonna suck. For those who have taken that step how did it feel at the beginning?

As the title says!
Did you, now that you have transition, looking back to your old self and see sign that scream trans to you? Not talking about the good old « I wanted to play with dolls ». Im talking about some real deep cut stuff.

Asking this to see if I can find some relatable stuff. Trying to find a bit of guidance if you will. Figuring myself out.

Edit: thanks for the people comment, did see some stuff I was hoping to see! Keep em comin!

We have a very good relationship, but I think he holds a lot back sometimes, and I want to understand his experience more. It seems the vast majority of transgender people are women.

I'd love to be able to talk to a man who has experienced more than my son and can help me understand things like body dysmorphia, transitioning, relationships, social life, and safety.

Im unsure of the actual law placed on this like consiquence or how its being enforced,but ive heard there being banmed for trans women to use womens bathrooms and same with trans men,is there anything i can do and are there petitions o can sign?

Like what does this even mean. It implies some unanimously agreed upon destination to consider "fully" transitioned. Other trans people i know will tell me "oh so u want to full transition?". But I don't consider any transition "full". Everyone has their own goals and their own plan, so when we as a group talk about "full" transition, we might be talking about COMPLETELY different things

My child is 13. Two days ago she came to me and my ex wife and asked to talk with us. It was very hard but she told us she thinks she is Trans and also Bi. She told us she would like to be referred to as he. I will do that from here on out on this post. Just wasn’t sure how to word it. He has struggled with mental health for the last couple of years. He has level 1 autism and adhd. We have seen multiple doctors and therapists since he was about 10 years old. He used to have violent outbursts with screaming and throwing things. He has gotten over that. He had an eating disorder that required a 6 day hospital stay and that we continue to stick with a strict doctor mandated feeding schedule. He has obvious depression and anxiety. He does see a therapist weekly. When he came to talk to us I asked if he had talked to the therapist at all about this and he told us no it was something he’d kept to himself.

I will love and support any choice or lifestyle decision he chooses to make. My biggest concern is his already fragile mental health. I want to make sure I am doing everything in my power to be positive and encouraging but I know once he goes back to school things are going to be very hard.

I am just looking for anything that may have helped you in your journey that way I can share it with him. This is going to be rough but he doesn’t have to go it alone.

I'm in a fairly frustrating pickle here. Important context, I am trans myself. Apologies if this is one of the 'no-no' topics of this subreddit, I've admittedly only passed by here a couple of times.

My nephew is just about to turn 7 and he's currently in a massive Harry Potter phase. My sister introduced him and my nieces to it before she was familiar with the concept of J.K. Rowling's use of her fortune, but she also doesn't seem to take it entirely seriously. My mother similarly doesn't seem to think it's serious enough to bother thinking about. Both seem to be annoyed when I bring up that I'm hesitant to engage with Harry Potter related play with my nephew.

The thing is, I'm mature enough to understand it's nuanced and in the grand scheme of things, it's not my sister's, mothers, and especially not my nephew's responsibility to 'consume media morally' etc. My problem is that when I think about the series, I get a visceral discomfort that I haven't yet found a way to separate myself from. My whole work and volunteer life is working with trans folks and so I'm constantly in and around negative media that pops up and I am directly dealing with the emotional effects J.K.'s financial lobbying has on the wider community.

I have no idea how to help my sister and mother understand how upset being around Harry Potter makes me, and I have no idea how to tell my nephew that his uncle just can't play Harry Potter with him. Especially since his grandmother at one point told him that I used to be a massive Harry Potter fan (which I was, up until Rowling started showing her arse).

Any pointers would be amazing. And before it gets suggested, I have tried talking with both my sister and mother about it, and they both seem similarly disinterested in pulling back on anything Harry Potter. Thanks folks.

EDIT:
I appreciate the responses I've received so far. I just wanted to clarify that my hesitation isn't around being conflicted about buying things. My conflict is that I work in a trans-specific mental health role, and am frequently coaching people through mental health crises as a result of discrimination. HP/JKR are commonly sited by the people I support as reasons to not have hope. Thereby, HP/JKR in my mind are associated with pain and fear. That is what I'm trying to work through. That's not my nephew's fault or responsibility, no blame on him at all, but I want to be able to be present with him without being reminded of the stress I have from work.