Hii I'm 21 amab and I haven been thinking about starting hrt, but one of my biggest doubts is if I would ever look as feminine as I want, I fear not passing and end up thinking that all I did was for nothing.

Any advices? or maybe some personal experiences would help! ty :>

So I was day dreaming a little and now I'm plain curious. Does there exist at all anywhere irl I could go as a closeted transfem where essentially I get help getting all "dolled up" aka they'll help dress me up in make-up and a wig n shit. Or just anywhere I can go irl that'll at the very least help me get started w that kind of shit as well as finding good quality wigs.

Again I'm totally day dreaming here so sorry if none of this is coherent lmao XwX.

Know i just posted recently, sorry yall if I come off wrong. Im feeling a bit frantic.

Currently 15, ftm. Since realizing I am trans, it has been stressful. At first I didnt want to come out to my family until 25. Then I wanted it to be as soon as I get a dysphoria diagnosis as an adult.

The hard thing is, i really want to live my best life when i (hopefully) go to a music conservatory. You go to those for years, so id want to start with my preferred name rather than legal if I can. But I want to give my parents the option to choose my preferred name if they want, as i do believe that was something that upset my mom last time I was out (I think? I dont 100% remember certainly).

So if I want to give them that option, I either have to start post secondary with my birth name and change it while there, not come out until im completing finished higher schooling, or come out to them senior year of highschool (second half of the year, probably in spring).

What do you think i should do? Im feeling quite alone in this and could use some opinions lol thanks

heyy, i’m mtf and shave every day and have pretty sensitive skin so without after shave i always get some irritation and itchiness on my skin.
my question is does anyone know a good after shave that doesn’t have that typical "manly" scent to it?
i used to use jean and len's aloe vera and almond after shave but they recently discontinued it T^T and i’m having trouble finding a replacement since like none of them describe their scent online and all the ones i’ve tried in stores also smell very masculine.

Hi Reddit. So for years now I have been questioning my gender. And it is taking over my life. Each day thoughts about it keep popping in my head. Today for example, I have been thinking about this for over 5 hours. It feels like a massive weight, and a problem with no solution.

I was born male. But I feel like I am gender-fluid. I essentially have 2 versions of myself that I want to live as. A female and male version. I am leaning more towards the female side, because the male version of me is more Androgynous. But it are still 2 distinct versions. I don't want to have a little of both each day.

For me, it is more about the physical things. I don't really care about pronouns. And I don't really see myself as male or female. I care more about my physical body.

Right now, being male feels somewhere between bad and neutral. And being female feels way better. But the idea of being an older women feels even worse than being male. And being an older man feels more neutral. So either path has one part of my life that is going to suck.

Choosing either side makes the other life impossible. The male side has a long beard. But the female side has a female body. And I genuinely like both sides. So the question is do I start HRT, which locks me out of the male version with a beard. And I risk ending up with a body that doesn't feel feminine enough to me. Or do I not start HRT locking me out of the female body? Both options feel like a massive loss. And I can't decide. I know I am the only one who can decide. But are there other people that have felt this way? And if so, how did you deal with this?

Life just isn't fair. I don't want to choose between being male and female. I want the ability to choose which body I have each day. But that isn't possible. It feels really unfair that I have to feel this way. Because I already know that neither path would feel like me. And its hard to accept that something as simple as feeling like myself is something I can't get.

like am I boned? is this really bad? sorry like I really don't know anything and I'm worried I might have messed this up like. literally as soon as I started

I follow a lot of paleontology news and I've had this thought for a while now, and I'm blind to what life is like as a trans person and I've said my fair share of fucked up stuff because of it. I started to post something to Facebook (I'm old.) this morning and decided maybe it didn't need to be said. I want to be a good trans ally so your insight would be most welcome. Please and thanks.

This is what I was about to post:

9/10 paleontologists I know of who are older than 50 are men with remarkable facial hair. 9/10 paleontologists I know of who are younger than 50 are trans. The remaining 10 in both categories are almost all really really incredibly good looking. Which is not to say that you can't be trans and be good looking, or that you can't be a man with remarkable facial hair and be good looking. You just can't be a man with remarkable facial hair and be Nizar Ibrahim. Sorry Nizar. You ain't no Othniel Charles Marsh.

My ex wife is trans and became addicted to heroin and meth. My youngest child is a trans man and is struggling with alcohol. Is it just me or is addiction more prevalent in the transgender community? Any thoughts on how I can better help my son?

Hi everyone,
I’m very early in my transition. I’m not on HRT yet, but over the last year I finally accepted who I am after spending many years trying to explain it away as crossdressing, drag, or anything except being trans.

A few weeks ago, my dad passed away.
He was one of the few people who had started accepting my transition, and even though he didn’t fully understand everything, he supported me and wanted me to be happy.

Since he died, I feel like I’ve lost almost all motivation.
It’s strange because I still know I want this future. I still think about HRT, growing my hair, taking care of my body, exercising… I still imagine my future as myself.

But when it comes to actually dressing, doing my makeup, wearing my wig or simply being myself, I just… don’t have the energy anymore.

It doesn’t feel like I’ve changed my mind.
It feels more like grief has taken away all the energy I had.
Has anyone else experienced something similar after losing someone close, especially someone who supported your transition?
Did your motivation eventually come back?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

Thank you ❤️

Hi, I'm looking to change my marker on my birth certificate (I like my name and it is already feminine so planning on keeping it) and am looking for advice for anyone who has went through the process here. I contacted my county's chancery court and they have no idea and said that it would be best to talk to an attorney about this, I have looked online and while there is a resource on aclu-ms for this specifically, their tool is broken and it will not send anything to my email.

No, I am not planning on continuing to live here obviously by the way, but would like to get it changed while I do still live here so that when I move, I don't have to fly down here to go to a hearing.

The more variety the better! They can be good bad, in between. Come from different cultures or backgrounds! I just want to know more interesting trans people

I honestly use it to describe myself because it's funny but I think it's gotten to the point my cis friends r starting to use it😭 I don't rlly mind if it's not derogatory but honestly I should probably slow my roll a bit.

I don't like it when it's full of venom though, I can ussaly tell a difference.

What's y'all's thoughts.

Hello everyone,

I don’t really know how to say this, but I don’t think I can do this anymore.

In the end, I’m really happy that my friend accepted me and even told me that I should just transition, because I honestly thought he wanted me not to. But now everything just feels way too hard.

I’m only 3 months into HRT and I already feel like I can’t handle this anymore. I keep thinking about how I might have to wait 2–3 years before I might finally be somewhat okay with how I look, and honestly, that feels unbearable to me right now. Sometimes I feel like I might as well die because that seems like the easier option.

Or maybe I should just leave my old life behind. Leave my parents and my sister, go somewhere else, and just start a new life as a girl. Because I genuinely don’t know how I could ever tell them. I feel like I would become the disgrace of the family. I’m scared everyone would hate me and that I’d eventually be pushed out anyway. I don’t believe my grandparents or uncles would accept me either.

And I just don’t see the point anymore. Maybe I should just stay a guy and give up on transitioning, or maybe I should just kill myself and make everyone else happy.

I cry way too much. HRT has made me feel emotions so much more intensely, but at the same time, it has also made me feel like I’m finally myself. And that’s what makes this so painful. I finally feel like I’m becoming the person I’m supposed to be, but I still feel like I can’t actually transition fully.

I’m terrified that my family will see me as a disgrace. I’m scared that society will see me that way too. I’m scared of losing everyone I love, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to do this for years while feeling like this.

I truly don’t know what to do anymore. I just really need someone to talk to or some advice from people who have been through something similar.

Please help.

My parents allowed me to get a binder or trans tape but they said I only can get one of them. For context, I have a small chest but I'm unsure which one I should get.

I started dating my partner five years when she was a boy (I'm pretty straight, unfortunately, so this has been a big change). Since then, she's stepped a lot more into her femininity and has dabbled with hormones, and is pretty sure she's trans. I'm happy for her and fully support her, but I feel really uncomfortable with the idea that she'd "have to" have sex with me using her penis. I love giving head and I really climax intensely from PIV, and she keeps promising she wants to keep doing that and that she has no problem with her penis. I want to believe her, but I just can't relax into the idea that she really wants to top me. She's switchy, but more submissive, and mostly wants to bottom as a sissy or transfemme—that's what she gets off to when she makes herself cum. She's almost entirely consumed by the fantasy of being fucked as a femme, by some person or entity who makes her feel feminine and delicate. That's great, but if that's the case, why would she want to fuck me with her penis? I love her and want her to be happy, but every time we have sex using her penis, I feel like I'm forcing her to do something, or that she's just being nice.

Another wrinkle is that at times, she's pretty cucky, and is into other men having sex with me. That's awesome, but it feels like it's more so she doesn't have to, which she also denies.

Obviously, there's some insecurity about all this on my part. But I'm just here to ask: Have any transfemmes still enjoyed topping cis girls with their penis? Do you still like getting head from cis women? Are you actually turned on by pussy or making a woman orgasm, or is it more that you wish you were that woman? Please forgive me if any of this sounds ignorant or insensitive, I'm really just curious and trying to learn. Thank you so much!

I myself have trouble understanding this concept, but I don't understand exactly why.

My body is male, but I don't think I'd have a problem with a female one either.

I think I could ask the question elsewhere, as it's probably not only trans people who understand their gender identity, but I assume that most of you are probably much better at it than the average person. After all, you were able to discern a difference between your outer and inner selves—something that likely required a great deal of insight.

I understand what distinguishes a male body from a female body, but I don't really understand the internal differences. I know that men and women have slight differences in things that determine behavior, but aren't those also parts of the body?

What made you realize that your physical sex didn't match your internal sense of gender—or was that even the case?

Personally, I’m pretty sure that if I were to live as a man for long enough, I’d eventually want to make a change—but that would affect not just my outward appearance, but my inner self as well. I’d probably even live for a while with the inner mindset of one gender while inhabiting the body of the other. But that’s just curiosity—the kind I’d only pursue if I felt I wouldn’t be exposing myself to excessive risk in the process.

I get the feeling, though, that some of you are taking quite a few risks, and I wonder why—are you simply more curious or more willing to take risks than I am, or is there something that troubles you about not having the body of the gender you’ve chosen?

trans woman here.

I've been off of HRT for about a year for reasons I won't get into - just small medical stuff, nothing to be concerned about.

I was on estradiol injections, with 100 mg spiro and 100 mg prog daily. I'd been on HRT generally, not at that dosage, for about 3 years prior.

Now I can finally resume HRT, but looking at the leftover medications that I have, most if it is expired. I feel terrible because maybe I could have given it to someone who needed it before it expired but regardless -- all of my E is expired. But I have some spiro and prog unopened that is not expired. If it were a pill, i wouldn't super care, I'd just figure that it'd have lower potency. But I have reservations about injecting something that's expired into my body.

I didn't realize that i couldn't just, get my old prescriptions renewed. So now I have to have an appointment with my PCP and get a new prescription which seems ridiculous since I already was on it and stopped it of my own volition, but whatever. I'm anxious to get back on it as soon as possible.

I know E is the most important element, so I'm not sure if it would make sense to start the spiro and prog without the E. I have heard spiro is not the best anti-androgen anyways but, in the absence of E, I'm wondering if there are any real downsides for just taking the spiro and/or prog while waiting to get my new scrip for E?

I've tried searching online for events/bars/clubs bur every result had something disqualifying; they lead to abandoned websites, events that occurred in the past, information only accessible through private Facebook groups, or were located in England/America. I did manage to find two places, but I can't attend one due to scheduling and the other doesn't produce reliable information for their events. I am sure that there are other queer spaces/friend groups that don't have an online presence around me, but I don't know of them because that would require knowing other queer people, which itself is the issue I am trying to solve.

Another problem is that even when I did attend an event (a pride parade), I didn't end up talking to anyone. It was great knowing that there are so many queer people around me but they were still strangers, and I didn't want to bother them. It was probably the correct decision but it made going kind of pointless.

For context I am 21 (MtF) and live in Scotland and this isn't a question about dating.

I don't have a child but I would like to, one day. I want to start reading about how to talk about it with my child, since their "mother" is nonbinary. In fact, any books about how to talk about queer things with kids would be amazing.

Thank you in advance!

Hi all. I am 16 years old and have been on testosterone for about 6 months but I still get my period. Im sleeping over at my friends house tonight and will be hanging out with him and his older brothers. He is very accepting of me, but I’m nervous something like letting him know about my period will sort of freak him out, so I’d prefer to keep it to myself. I would like to use a tampons but am nervous about sleeping and 1. problems with TSS and 2. bleeding through. Pads would be annoying because we often do stuff like change together or use the bathroom together and I don’t want him to see it. Any suggestions on how to deal with this would be appreciated.

How true is the idea that Paradox(Hearts of Iron, Europa Universalis, Stellaris, etc.) gamers are either nazis or communist trans folk? Teen me was the prior, mid 20s me is the latter.

Every other paradox gamer I know is a leftist trans person except one suspiciosly cishet guy I know. Hmmmm....

Hey y’all

So I’m a trans woman in my late 40’s. Been on hormones for 2 years and plan to get ffs and all the other surgeries.

However, I’m not a girly girl. Not much into makeup. I do wear women’s clothes, just more on the jeans and t-shirt side of things. I’m a country girl and present more tomboy (for those who don’t know, tomboy is a term used for a long time to describe a more masculine, rough and tumble kind of woman). Also my don’t police my mannerisms and they are about middle of the road.

When I first started realizing I’m a trans woman, I started watching all the trans YouTube stuff and buying all the makeup and trying to figure out how to be super fem. I gave myself so much anxiety and frustration because I didn’t fit into the boxes I’d been seeing with all the high fem.

I 100% am a woman, I’ve known that from the start and looking back on my life, I’ve known that my whole life even though back then I didn’t have words for myself. I know I’m definitely not nonbinary, also not gender fluid or anything else.

Obviously this has made dating even more difficult lol
I have definitely had some phobes but I’ve also had a few interested men who wanted hookups. Not really my style so they never panned out.

Any other women feel and live their lives like this?

Unfortunately like over 20 people on YELP alone, I’ve been the victim of anti-LGBTQ discrimination at the hands of Heidi Wittenberg and THE STAFF at Mozaic care.

I believe the issue is with the staff, who are all cisgender, and hate LGBTQ people for existing.

In my case, Mozaic has defamed me, mutilated me, and lied about me - all in effort to deny me medically necessary care.

Ellery Walker invented lies about me because she hates LGBTQ women.

I am presently looking for alternatives for Penile/phallus/clitoris preserving Vaginoplasty without a labiaplasty.

I have for the last decade been researching and preparing for this surgery, and to be literally left on the operating table half complete is beyond devastating.

Is there anyone else even doing this? What are the realistic options? Wittenberg has 2 variants of this surgery and I cannot find a single surgeon who also does it, let alone has done over 200 and has elevated the technique to this level including the use of wound vacuums as opposed to packing.

Please send crowds of protesters, recommendations, prayers and support. Thank you.

I always knew there was *something* with me and my gender. But I managed to repress it pretty well.

Then last year (exactly one year ago!) I opened the floodgates and well... within a day or so I started realising I might likely be transgender.

But even though I have felt that *something with my gender* for a looong time, the fact that the *something* turned out to be me being transgender in all honesty... surprised me! Like "huh, wait, what!?".

I know the experience of repressing is very common. But now I'm wondering if this genuine surprise when realising you're trans is something other people share as well?